|>>|| No. 22697
Please provide answers for these security questions. All of the questions are pre-defined and do not related to you in the least, which ensures that the answer you give here will have been forgotten the next time you try to log in.
When your attempt to log in fails, your account will be frozen and you will be escorted to the password reset facility. There, you will find that your online access has been revoked and you'll need to phone us instead. Since you live during unsociable hours, you'd better set an alarm so you get up while the phone lines are open.
Ah! You remembered to call! Please listen to this monologue about the identity check procedure, understand that it isn't dangerous at all (it really isn't, I promise) and give your consent. If you don't consent then I guess we'll keep your money. Oh, you consent, do you? Excellent. Just answer a few simple questions and you'll have confirmed your identity. Remember that bank account you opened in 2004? Who was it with, and what was the overdraft limit? Where did you live in 2010 and for how long?
It looks like we haven't been able to confirm your identity. Would you like to come into our office in a town 20 miles away, nowhere near a train station and where buses don't stop, to confirm your identity in person?