"I personally think..."

"Poop".

>>28464
It really bothers me that Americans call shit "duty".

>>28465

I thought it was "doodie" but just sounds like they're saying duty because their accents are fucked.

SAMWIDGE.

>>28571
Almost 2 and half years ago to the day I was in a wheelchair and struggling to walk, I battled back to health but I still can't manage to cut my own toenails. It's a bridge too far for me, but it's embarrassing to ask for help so I keep ruining my socks and it annoys me. However, when I do ask my wife also soaks them, uses a pumice stone on them and moisturises them. I've noticed the cuticles and skin in general stays supple for a while.

Try using hand cream, like that Norwegian stuff for sailors.

My brain's shit.

>>28573
This.

>>28571

I'd assume you answered your own question there. If your cuticle are always bleeding you might not be playing your bass properly anyway.

>>28575
They aren't always bleeding; it's just a recent thing.

I need to stop doing deep-dives into bigoted teen eskimo Tweeter. Shit's too retarded.

>>28565

I'm learning to be obsequious in Mandarin. It probably won't save me from the forced labour camps, but it might earn me an extra bowl of rice while I'm there.

>他做到了！ 杀死叛徒！

>>28567
You turncoat bastard, I'll have your hide before I take their rice!

>>28567
我的气垫船装满了鳗鱼

The cyclist today who saw an older lady crossing the road at a t-junction and approached it at near full speed, purposefully moving so his path was aligned with hers so he could go 'Watch it!' before cycling straight out of the junction and nearly being sidelined by a taxi with right of way.

I am a huge, huge fan of getting more people to cycle but some London cyclists can be a little bellicose at times and misunderstand their commute to work for the first stage of the Tour De France.

I feel like that ought to have some consequences like forgetting to close a bold tag, but I can't think how. Everything is now a quotation forever.

Some car headlights are just too fucking bright.

>>27941
Typically they're compensating for the driver.

>>27924
If a driver revs their engine while I'm crossing I go back and stand in front of their car until the lights go red again.

I think someone has been in my car last night, judging by the glovebox being open and things from there and the compartment next to the gearbox being on the floor. I suppose it was inevitable, having a car that tucks in the wing mirrors when it is locked and a scatterbrained girlfriend who doesn't always remember to lock the car. At least there was nothing for them worth pinching.

I was about two-thirds of the way past a bus when it simultaneously indicated and swerved out from the stop, almost hitting me. Bus drivers are right cunts.

>>28049

>kicks your ass, destroys all that he cannot carry and takes a shit on your favourite carpet

Moving the goalposts a bit from 'poor people commit crimes for economic reasons' m8

>>28051

Almost all poor people that I had the misfortune to meet have a mindset that can be condensed in: "I was born poor and I had a shittier life than yours, so I am justified in behaving in the shittiest way possible."

>>28051
I understand his objection, if not his cuntyness. The majority of poor people don't just go around swindling and burgling, and their personal ethics will be a big part of that. Meanwhile I know very wealthy people who have similarly strict morals and are the sort of people who would never fuck others over given the opportunity.

>>28050

necrocunting

>>28049
>kicks your ass
Go home, Yank.

>>27760

Look at how clean their PPE is, they're obviously management.

>>27763
They fact that they even have their PPE on and so clean means they're probably Management. Cunts.

This advert has come with baffling clip-art every time I've seen it.

>>27819

Although it taught me you oughtn't pelt apples at ice-skaters because that's what happened in the top image from the looks of it.

For victims of rickets.

>>27746
>elitism and snobbery

Welcome to britfa.gs m8

>>27749
I'd be inclined to agree with you but this gets more playtime than it deserves and it's even won an award. The lyrics are what especially piss me off, just droning on and on repeating the same phrase. I listen to the radio daily and whilst there's a lot of contemporary music I don't like, I wouldn't say it's the same level as this song.

>>27780

Repetition and simplicity are two major features of successful modern pop music. I'm not saying that means you have to suddenly like the song, but you shouldn't be so surprised it's a popular song.

The production on it is really good, it's about as gritty, sampled, and hip-hop as you can get away with making a chart hit sound, and as the lad was originally a rapper and cut his teeth in the High Focus stable, that shouldn't come as much of a shock. His unique (in mainstream music at least) voice probably caught some people's attention too.

The song gets on my tits now because, as you say, it's ridiculously overplayed. But I think I thought it was pretty catchy the first two or three times I heard it. Now after the 800th time, it can fuck right off.

Sage for not supporting your hatred entirely.

Reminds me of the Gnarls Barkley song. Fine in it's own right, nods to a genre beyond just "pop", subsequently played to death.

Isn't this thread about a year late?

But yeah he's bollocks, it's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

You can tell it's an intentional marketing construct by the fact his album had adverts on the telly. Telly adverts for an album. Just let your mind roll over that for a moment.

>>27783

>It's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

Very, very well put.

>>27468
Because I've been doing youtube embeds this for the past 20 years of my life and I'll be damned if I'm going start doing it the fancy pants way you kids do things now.

Jesus fucking christ

>>27468
The old embeds are better anyway, because they show the video title, which the new ones don’t. Also you can right click and open them in a private window, in case it’s some manner of dreck you don’t want polluting your YT feeds forever more.

such a creepy video

>>27889
Thank you for your contribution.

>>27442

I'm working on that latter bit.

>>27443

You'll find your standards improve drastically once you've got your dick wet.

Just go shag a prozzie or something.

>>27432
That bloke's got massive hands.

>>27445
Or maybe just a small head.

>>27450
Isn't he Steve Bannon?

It's too hot to do anything today. I am sweating from just sitting in a chair.

>>27259

Edinburgh isn't cheap, though I suppose if you can afford London you can afford it up there.

It's a fantastic city, though. I keep thinking about moving there myself.

>>27265

If I could afford London I wouldn't be so keen on escaping it.

I was thinking a village or town about 10 miles from Edinburgh would be ideal. Close enough to the city but far enough away to be affordable.

Fuck, this was on the telegraph today.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2018/07/28/bbcs-obsession-balance-driving-wall/

Sounded like it was right off .gs

“That’s right. Freezing. That’s the weather out there in the real world. Not that you’d know it, from listening to the smug group-think of the meteorological establishment. The ordinary working people of this country are sick of being told what to think by the Met Office elite. All this scaremongering about a so-called ‘heatwave’ is just a myth spread by Big Pharma in order to sell sun cream. Which, by the way, is a complete scam, because there’s actually no such thing as either sunburn or skin cancer.”

>>27275
"Register for free to continue reading this article
Register"

Can you just copy it all here, lad? I'm not keen on giving up my details to yet another company.

If we had any sense, we'd turn the country into Ye Olde Englande Theme Parke. The emerging Chinese middle class are eager to spunk all their hard-earned renminbi on Burberry coats and Twinings tea and they outnumber us ten to one. Norfolk can be the gift shop until it's consumed by rising sea levels. The East Coast Mainline is obviously beyond repair, so let's just rip it up and turn it into a sightseeing monorail.

We could really do with a spare Prince Philip - the Chinese love a bit of casual racism. Maybe Wills can have a go?

>>26859
>the Chinese love a bit of casual racism. Maybe Wills can have a go?
Just don't mention Taiwan.

>>26859>>26861

Could the whole breaking news shite about walking her down the aisle just an elaborately staged PR game?

It conveniently adds a bit of tragedy and sympathy to the woman and may help to propel her to the rank of 'The People's Princess' in the eyes of Daz and Janine Regular.

>>26862
A great bunch of lads.

I'm subscribed to a blog called "cabin porn". I understand.

Food porn seems more apt considering how disgustingly slobbery some people are about food, using words like "succulent". It still sounds unpleasant though.

Blame Reddit, they have an entire network of dozens of subreddits called the "SFW Porn Network" https://www.reddit.com/r/sfwpornnetwork/wiki/network , along things like 'Nature Porn' or 'Art Porn' there are some utterly bizarre things like 'Tea Porn', 'Police Porn' , 'Megalith Porn' and 'Things Cut In Half Porn'.

>>26795
>'Things Cut In Half Porn'

Back in the old days we just used to call this shit "snuff" and be done with it. Fucking kids.