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>> No. 5003 Anonymous
6th September 2011
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO VIMPTO
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>> No. 28419 Anonymous
14th March 2019
Thursday 9:15 pm
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"I personally think..."
>> No. 28464 Anonymous
22nd March 2019
Friday 11:55 am
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"Poop".
>> No. 28465 Anonymous
22nd March 2019
Friday 12:12 pm
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>>28464
It really bothers me that Americans call shit "duty".
>> No. 28466 Anonymous
22nd March 2019
Friday 2:05 pm
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>>28465

I thought it was "doodie" but just sounds like they're saying duty because their accents are fucked.
>> No. 28577 Anonymous
22nd May 2019
Wednesday 8:19 pm
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SAMWIDGE.

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>> No. 28571 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:05 am
28571 Minor Rants and Piss-Offs, Mark VIII
It appears largethreadmodlad has also locked the previous iteration of this thread; Mark VIII it is, then.

I take perfect care of my nails. I don't bite them, I cut in the standard flat formation every 3-5 days, and scrub under them in the shower. So why the actual fuck are my cuticles bleeding? Putting the plaster over to catch the blood means I can't play my bass properly, and that pisses me off.
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>> No. 28572 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:24 am
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>>28571
Almost 2 and half years ago to the day I was in a wheelchair and struggling to walk, I battled back to health but I still can't manage to cut my own toenails. It's a bridge too far for me, but it's embarrassing to ask for help so I keep ruining my socks and it annoys me. However, when I do ask my wife also soaks them, uses a pumice stone on them and moisturises them. I've noticed the cuticles and skin in general stays supple for a while.

Try using hand cream, like that Norwegian stuff for sailors.
>> No. 28573 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 2:57 pm
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My brain's shit.
>> No. 28574 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 3:14 pm
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>>28573
This.
>> No. 28575 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 4:38 pm
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>>28571

I'd assume you answered your own question there. If your cuticle are always bleeding you might not be playing your bass properly anyway.
>> No. 28576 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 5:21 pm
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>>28575
They aren't always bleeding; it's just a recent thing.

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>> No. 25832 Anonymous
24th September 2017
Sunday 10:16 pm
25832 BRITFA.GS /101/ MARK VII Locked
The old thread is well over 30MB, so I think we're due a new one.

Some cunt threw a firecracker in front of my bike today. If I hadn't seen the little scrote and his little scrote mates running I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late.
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>> No. 28566 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 8:31 am
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I need to stop doing deep-dives into bigoted teen eskimo Tweeter. Shit's too retarded.
>> No. 28567 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:07 pm
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>>28565

I'm learning to be obsequious in Mandarin. It probably won't save me from the forced labour camps, but it might earn me an extra bowl of rice while I'm there.

>他做到了! 杀死叛徒!
>> No. 28568 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:22 pm
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>>28567
You turncoat bastard, I'll have your hide before I take their rice!
>> No. 28569 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 2:03 pm
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>>28567
我的气垫船装满了鳗鱼
>> No. 28570 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 5:27 pm
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The cyclist today who saw an older lady crossing the road at a t-junction and approached it at near full speed, purposefully moving so his path was aligned with hers so he could go 'Watch it!' before cycling straight out of the junction and nearly being sidelined by a taxi with right of way.

I am a huge, huge fan of getting more people to cycle but some London cyclists can be a little bellicose at times and misunderstand their commute to work for the first stage of the Tour De France.

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>> No. 28477 Anonymous
31st March 2019
Sunday 3:52 pm
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Using a single opening quote plastered in "popping"colours over an actual quote, like some pea-for-brains heard the phrase "Quote, unquote" and thought to themselves "Well if that one means quote, then why do I need an unquote if the paragraph obviously ends?"
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>> No. 28478 Anonymous
31st March 2019
Sunday 7:17 pm
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I feel like that ought to have some consequences like forgetting to close a bold tag, but I can't think how. Everything is now a quotation forever.

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>> No. 5103 Anonymous
22nd September 2011
Thursday 9:56 pm
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THERE'S TRAFFIC AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE JUNCTION BUT INSTEAD OF LETTING YOU PULL OUT I'M GOING TO CREEP MY CAR FORWARD A FEW METRES AND BLOCK YOU IN BECAUSE I'M AN INCONSIDERATE CUNT WHO WOULD RATHER INCONVENIENCE OTHERS JUST SO I CAN SPEED UP MY OWN JOURNEY BY A FEW SECONDS.
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>> No. 27941 Anonymous
3rd December 2018
Monday 5:45 pm
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Some car headlights are just too fucking bright.
>> No. 27942 Anonymous
3rd December 2018
Monday 5:49 pm
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>>27941
Typically they're compensating for the driver.
>> No. 27943 Anonymous
3rd December 2018
Monday 5:51 pm
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>>27924
If a driver revs their engine while I'm crossing I go back and stand in front of their car until the lights go red again.
>> No. 27958 Anonymous
6th December 2018
Thursday 8:24 am
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I think someone has been in my car last night, judging by the glovebox being open and things from there and the compartment next to the gearbox being on the floor. I suppose it was inevitable, having a car that tucks in the wing mirrors when it is locked and a scatterbrained girlfriend who doesn't always remember to lock the car. At least there was nothing for them worth pinching.
>> No. 28392 Anonymous
25th February 2019
Monday 5:08 pm
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I was about two-thirds of the way past a bus when it simultaneously indicated and swerved out from the stop, almost hitting me. Bus drivers are right cunts.

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>> No. 27960 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 1:17 am
27960 ITT: People
Why do you hate them?
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>> No. 28051 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 6:12 pm
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>>28049

>kicks your ass, destroys all that he cannot carry and takes a shit on your favourite carpet

Moving the goalposts a bit from 'poor people commit crimes for economic reasons' m8
>> No. 28052 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 7:51 pm
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>>28051

Almost all poor people that I had the misfortune to meet have a mindset that can be condensed in: "I was born poor and I had a shittier life than yours, so I am justified in behaving in the shittiest way possible."
>> No. 28053 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 7:53 pm
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>>28051
I understand his objection, if not his cuntyness. The majority of poor people don't just go around swindling and burgling, and their personal ethics will be a big part of that. Meanwhile I know very wealthy people who have similarly strict morals and are the sort of people who would never fuck others over given the opportunity.
>> No. 28054 Anonymous
14th December 2018
Friday 8:11 pm
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>>28050

necrocunting
>> No. 28055 Anonymous
15th December 2018
Saturday 7:15 am
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>>28049
>kicks your ass
Go home, Yank.

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>> No. 25338 Anonymous
2nd June 2017
Friday 10:09 pm
25338 Terrible product/marketing photos
Nothing can so easily send me into apoplectic rage and simultaneous fits of laughter as non-nonsensical photographs in advertising and marketing. I couldn't decide where this thread belongs best as it's both irritating and entertaining at the same time.

Lidl has some brilliant examples, for instance this picture of a woman who is clearly off her tits on some research chems and is seeing hallucinations of vegetables flying around her head.
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>> No. 27763 Anonymous
15th October 2018
Monday 1:55 am
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>>27760

Look at how clean their PPE is, they're obviously management.
>> No. 27764 Anonymous
15th October 2018
Monday 2:06 am
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>>27763
They fact that they even have their PPE on and so clean means they're probably Management. Cunts.
>> No. 27819 Anonymous
21st October 2018
Sunday 1:40 am
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This advert has come with baffling clip-art every time I've seen it.
>> No. 27820 Anonymous
21st October 2018
Sunday 1:41 am
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>>27819

Although it taught me you oughtn't pelt apples at ice-skaters because that's what happened in the top image from the looks of it.
>> No. 27940 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 2:31 am
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For victims of rickets.

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>> No. 27744 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 8:02 pm
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Why is his song 'Human' so popular? It sounds like utter dogshit to me. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Ironically his song includes lyrics of being "only human after all", whereas his picture instead shows a fat piece of shit.
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>> No. 27780 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 3:48 pm
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>>27746
>elitism and snobbery

Welcome to britfa.gs m8

>>27749
I'd be inclined to agree with you but this gets more playtime than it deserves and it's even won an award. The lyrics are what especially piss me off, just droning on and on repeating the same phrase. I listen to the radio daily and whilst there's a lot of contemporary music I don't like, I wouldn't say it's the same level as this song.
>> No. 27781 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 6:34 pm
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>>27780

Repetition and simplicity are two major features of successful modern pop music. I'm not saying that means you have to suddenly like the song, but you shouldn't be so surprised it's a popular song.

The production on it is really good, it's about as gritty, sampled, and hip-hop as you can get away with making a chart hit sound, and as the lad was originally a rapper and cut his teeth in the High Focus stable, that shouldn't come as much of a shock. His unique (in mainstream music at least) voice probably caught some people's attention too.

The song gets on my tits now because, as you say, it's ridiculously overplayed. But I think I thought it was pretty catchy the first two or three times I heard it. Now after the 800th time, it can fuck right off.

Sage for not supporting your hatred entirely.
>> No. 27782 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 7:00 pm
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Reminds me of the Gnarls Barkley song. Fine in it's own right, nods to a genre beyond just "pop", subsequently played to death.
>> No. 27783 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 7:14 pm
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Isn't this thread about a year late?

But yeah he's bollocks, it's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

You can tell it's an intentional marketing construct by the fact his album had adverts on the telly. Telly adverts for an album. Just let your mind roll over that for a moment.
>> No. 27784 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 7:21 pm
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>>27783

>It's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

Very, very well put.

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>> No. 27467 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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This abomination.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxL2Vx6gzw8

(And the direct link because I think they might have blocked embeds)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxL2Vx6gzw8

I think this ad has given me PTSD
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>> No. 27469 Anonymous
15th August 2018
Wednesday 8:11 pm
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>>27468
Because I've been doing youtube embeds this for the past 20 years of my life and I'll be damned if I'm going start doing it the fancy pants way you kids do things now.
>> No. 27490 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 3:35 pm
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Jesus fucking christ
>> No. 27491 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 3:56 pm
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>>27468
The old embeds are better anyway, because they show the video title, which the new ones don’t. Also you can right click and open them in a private window, in case it’s some manner of dreck you don’t want polluting your YT feeds forever more.
>> No. 27889 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 5:27 pm
27889 1
such a creepy video
>> No. 27890 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 5:38 pm
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>>27889
Thank you for your contribution.

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>> No. 27432 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 3:39 pm
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I don't know what this is going to be. A /101/ thread about human biology?

How do I stop being attracted to every woman in the world? It's starting to get impractical.
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>> No. 27443 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 7:39 pm
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>>27442

I'm working on that latter bit.
>> No. 27444 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 8:10 pm
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>>27443

You'll find your standards improve drastically once you've got your dick wet.

Just go shag a prozzie or something.
>> No. 27445 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 10:02 pm
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>>27432
That bloke's got massive hands.
>> No. 27450 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 11:46 pm
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>>27445
Or maybe just a small head.
>> No. 27451 Anonymous
12th August 2018
Sunday 11:55 pm
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>>27450
Isn't he Steve Bannon?

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>> No. 27227 Anonymous
22nd July 2018
Sunday 7:48 pm
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Can we stop now please? This has gone too far.

I'm a fat lad which doesn't help, but we've gone over a month without rain and I'm genuinely starting to crack up.
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>> No. 27261 Anonymous
25th July 2018
Wednesday 2:31 pm
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It's too hot to do anything today. I am sweating from just sitting in a chair.
>> No. 27265 Anonymous
25th July 2018
Wednesday 10:41 pm
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>>27259

Edinburgh isn't cheap, though I suppose if you can afford London you can afford it up there.

It's a fantastic city, though. I keep thinking about moving there myself.
>> No. 27267 Anonymous
26th July 2018
Thursday 10:39 am
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>>27265

If I could afford London I wouldn't be so keen on escaping it.

I was thinking a village or town about 10 miles from Edinburgh would be ideal. Close enough to the city but far enough away to be affordable.
>> No. 27275 Anonymous
28th July 2018
Saturday 10:24 am
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Fuck, this was on the telegraph today.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2018/07/28/bbcs-obsession-balance-driving-wall/

Sounded like it was right off .gs

“That’s right. Freezing. That’s the weather out there in the real world. Not that you’d know it, from listening to the smug group-think of the meteorological establishment. The ordinary working people of this country are sick of being told what to think by the Met Office elite. All this scaremongering about a so-called ‘heatwave’ is just a myth spread by Big Pharma in order to sell sun cream. Which, by the way, is a complete scam, because there’s actually no such thing as either sunburn or skin cancer.”
>> No. 27277 Anonymous
28th July 2018
Saturday 3:50 pm
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>>27275
"Register for free to continue reading this article
Register"

Can you just copy it all here, lad? I'm not keen on giving up my details to yet another company.

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>> No. 26797 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 7:35 pm
26797 Saturday Event Moan
I know it's a totally unoriginal /101/, and that Republicanism isn't the least bit in vogue right now, but I can't stand the Monarchy. I'm generally a laid back person, overly so, honestly, but all this "fairy tale" talk drives me batty like nothing else can. I don't even like moaning about the Monarchy IRL because of what a dead end any discussion about it is, which is why I'm having to do it here. And I fail to see what's so "quintessentially British" about a fucking reptile and a Seppo getting married. How about a couple who have to commute two hours each way because the homes closer to their work were too expensive and too small to start a family? Or the newly weds who have to claim benefits just to make ends meet dispite them both being in full time work? You twee shits.

See, bloody batty, lads.
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>> No. 26859 Anonymous
18th May 2018
Friday 11:32 am
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If we had any sense, we'd turn the country into Ye Olde Englande Theme Parke. The emerging Chinese middle class are eager to spunk all their hard-earned renminbi on Burberry coats and Twinings tea and they outnumber us ten to one. Norfolk can be the gift shop until it's consumed by rising sea levels. The East Coast Mainline is obviously beyond repair, so let's just rip it up and turn it into a sightseeing monorail.

We could really do with a spare Prince Philip - the Chinese love a bit of casual racism. Maybe Wills can have a go?
>> No. 26861 Anonymous
18th May 2018
Friday 6:50 pm
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>>26859
>the Chinese love a bit of casual racism. Maybe Wills can have a go?
Just don't mention Taiwan.
>> No. 26862 Anonymous
18th May 2018
Friday 7:32 pm
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>>26859>>26861
>> No. 26863 Anonymous
19th May 2018
Saturday 1:37 am
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Could the whole breaking news shite about walking her down the aisle just an elaborately staged PR game?

It conveniently adds a bit of tragedy and sympathy to the woman and may help to propel her to the rank of 'The People's Princess' in the eyes of Daz and Janine Regular.
>> No. 26894 Anonymous
21st May 2018
Monday 11:22 am
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>>26862
A great bunch of lads.

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>> No. 26792 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 1:49 am
26792 Referring to any old shit as <noun> Porn
WORD PORN
FOOD PORN
NATURE PORN

I saw one today called "climbing porn". Get to fuck. The word porn shit especially, just trite shit that makes people feel smart and cultured when it's really completely meaningless.
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>> No. 26793 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 5:43 am
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I'm subscribed to a blog called "cabin porn". I understand.
>> No. 26794 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 7:06 am
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Food porn seems more apt considering how disgustingly slobbery some people are about food, using words like "succulent". It still sounds unpleasant though.
>> No. 26795 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 11:43 am
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Blame Reddit, they have an entire network of dozens of subreddits called the "SFW Porn Network" https://www.reddit.com/r/sfwpornnetwork/wiki/network , along things like 'Nature Porn' or 'Art Porn' there are some utterly bizarre things like 'Tea Porn', 'Police Porn' , 'Megalith Porn' and 'Things Cut In Half Porn'.
>> No. 26802 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 8:37 pm
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>>26795
>'Things Cut In Half Porn'

Back in the old days we just used to call this shit "snuff" and be done with it. Fucking kids.

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>> No. 26743 Anonymous
26th April 2018
Thursday 2:09 am
26743 full caps rage/crashing programs
STOP FUCKING CRASHING YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE EVENING OFF RATHER THAN SPEND 4 HOURS AFTER MY CRAPPY DAY JOB TRYING TO UNFUCK MY AFTER EFFECTS.

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