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>> No. 383746 Anonymous
20th September 2014
Saturday 7:11 pm
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So this thread is about the etiquette of the bum pinch.

Now lads, most of the time if you pinch a lady's arse, you could be in a world of hurt. Women pretty much get away with murder. A guy could end up with a charge for sexual assault.

Why is it acceptable more for women to pinch men? What are your own views/responses on having your arse pinched?
71 posts and 4 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 384142 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 10:25 pm
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But try telling that to a woman and suddenly you're a filthy woman-hating rapist.
>> No. 384143 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 10:30 pm
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It's problematic, because it perpetuates the idea that someone on the receiving end of an unsolicited bum pinch is somehow the victim of a sexual advance meant to intimidate and instil fear.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you why that is bullshit, but maybe I do. Women are by far the biggest pinch offenders, so if we are to take what you said at face value then Women are the soapy black men in your analogy, so you can fuck off with your "What men don't understand is" spiel.
>> No. 384144 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 11:08 pm
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Maddening cunts such as you make me seriously consider becoming the worlds first male gendered, misandrist, serial killer.

I mean, it's something to do until the Tories let me become dolescum in a year or two.
>> No. 384145 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 12:06 am
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Are we still talking about this? They fucking love it.
>> No. 384146 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 12:27 am
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Not being a contrarian, but in general they do. It's a big compliment, and they love compliments. Even if they say they don't their opinion will depend entirely on who they turn around and see. If it's your usual imageboard type then yes they won't like it.

Yes it's shallow, but women are, as are men. The extent to which is something to be debated.

>> No. 383894 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 1:19 am
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So a fucking subhuman scumbag of the Pakistani eskimo variety began sexually harassing my girlfriend tonight on her way home from work and tried to grab her. What would you recommend she does to protect herself? All methods considered.
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>> No. 384109 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 4:21 am
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You are not allowed to protect yourself in this country.
Enjoy your tea.
>> No. 384123 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 3:27 pm
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>> No. 384126 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 4:42 pm
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Do you actually believe this? Anyway, who needs a rooty tooty point-and-shooty when you can use a good old cricket bat?
>> No. 384134 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 6:41 pm
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I need his "rooty tooty point-and-shooty", IYKWIM.
>> No. 384135 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 6:53 pm
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But which side do you bat for?

>> No. 383732 Anonymous
20th September 2014
Saturday 3:42 pm
383732 Weekend thread
Pic related is how I'm spending my weekend.
151 posts and 7 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 384124 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 3:28 pm
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>> No. 384125 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 3:53 pm
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>> No. 384127 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 4:52 pm
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What's Dune got to do with it?
>> No. 384128 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 4:55 pm
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>> No. 384129 Anonymous
29th September 2014
Monday 5:13 pm
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Tim Muad'dib?


>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
511 posts and 45 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 380463 Anonymous
11th August 2014
Monday 12:49 pm
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Just had a dream in which I constantly referred to London as the Whale/Work Realm.

I also had to examine a series of photos to ascertain whether they were evidence of incest or just some lucky bloke shagging a mum/daughter team.

The inside of my head is like some comedy episode of CSI:britfa
>> No. 384013 Anonymous
27th September 2014
Saturday 3:56 pm
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Last night's dreams were particularly strange. I was in a tent that was infested with massive insects, no idea what they were but they were a good 2-3 inches long and had pincers on their back ends. I remember thinking 'shit this isn't good' but I couldn't find any emotional response to the situation, nor any desire to escape or try and kill them. I'm used to that dreamlike feeling of dread, it's absence was almost more worrying...

Other highlights include being indifferent to meeting up with my ex and finding she had grown facial hair (umm?) and convincing myself that I could drive despite not having a license or ever owning a car.

DMT lads, not even once.
>> No. 384014 Anonymous
27th September 2014
Saturday 4:13 pm
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I went on a lads holiday to somewhere in Spain, and for some reason my ex was there too on the next floor of the villa. She decorated the place for Halloween by putting fake blood all over the place, and I shook my head disparagingly at her. I then realised that it was okay actually, because we were staying for three weeks. I went upstairs and had a game of poker with the LADS.

Then, I went out for a walk and decided to go swimming. The staff at the swimming pool I visited were very friendly and understanding of the fact I had no towel, although because it was Spain, I had already felt it was appropriate to wander the streets in nothing but swim shorts and flip flops.

As I dived in the pool, a bunch of lasses approached me. Me being the suave and sly mother fucker I am, talked one of the birds into giving me a few tabs of acid, which I promptly stole and legged it back to the villa. I gave half of it to my mate, and we went to sit on the balcony watching the streets of the town centre while we came up. Everything started to go like a 1970s film, and as I told my mate it was starting to hit me, he jumped down from the balcony and ran off.

He jumped onto a bus which I narrowly managed to jump onto like an action movie badass, because of Spanish busses having about 8 doors along each side. He got off the bus at the next stop and ran up an overpass, but was forced to stop halfway due to a loose floor tile, which he picked up and crawled under. Some passers by were giving us very strange looks, so I sat next to him and tried to look normal, meanwhile the overpass started to look like an Indiana Jones decaying rope bridge.

I looked over at the stairway and there were a bunch of odd looking people staring at us, with funny shaped heads. Then I gradually started to wake up and realised they were the headstocks of my guitars in the corner of the bedroom.
>> No. 384015 Anonymous
27th September 2014
Saturday 6:06 pm
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Had a dream recently where I was in North Korea for some reason. There were women talking to columns of people, and I knew that I had to pay a lot of respect to them (no talking, bowing, that sort of shit). I was trying to get to the front for some reason, and had to crawl on my front to do that.

As I was crawling to the front, I had to crawl over freshly dead bodies. They appeared to have died from malnutrition (that part shook me a bit when I woke up).

Anyway, when I got to the front, the women who were talking had just received news that Kim Jong Un had died, so they all shot themselves in the face with a gun. I knew I had to get out of there ASAP, as North Korea had started firing missiles at China in some sort of kamikaze, destroy-you-or-die-trying way, so I legged it.

After stealing a car and heading for the border, I stopped off at some sort of NATO facility. They said they couldn't help me get out, but showed me how to get there. The place I needed to get to was on the other side of the country. I don't really remember much after that, but it was a decent dream. 9/10, would dream again etc.

The next night's dream was pretty good as well, but the only thing I can really remember is God buying the Devil's body, telling me that he couldn't destroy it, only hide it it away from people.
>> No. 384019 Anonymous
28th September 2014
Sunday 6:47 am
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I was in my mum's living room and four or five of my ex girlfriends were there all talking to me about my life and how it was terrible. After a while discussing just how awful and pointless my life was, they all agreed that the only thing I needed to do to improve my lot was to buy a new bike. Then we went online to build my dream bike, something I do often in real life. Once we had settled on a build (A stealth black sportive frame with Campy athena gruppo and wheels and fizik/deda cockpit) I then went outside and there were a load of anthropomorphic foxes riding said bike. Earlier today at work I had declared that the fox was my spirit animal (because I avoid people and like rooting around in bins) so that bit makes sense.

It felt exactly like that scene in Transmetropolitan when Spider gets hit with that advert blast and he has feverish dreams full of product placement. I just dreamed an advert. I'm probably going to buy the bike now for real. I was thinking of going Di2 but my exes and the fox-men made the point that a mechanical system is still a better investment right now.

>> No. 382436 Anonymous
8th September 2014
Monday 9:23 pm
382436 Jocks being dickless wankers as usual
How hard will you laugh once the Scots suddenly realise this is for real, vote no, and go back to sucking that delicious English cock?

Scotland is all bark and no bite, they've never had the backbone to rule themselves and they know it. For starters who would they have to blame all their own problems on if it wasn't for England? They're just like fisherpersons, all they really want is to be able to complain and still get free stuff and no responsibilities.
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>> No. 383984 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 11:45 pm
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Then why the fuck do people bother paying rent and mortgage?
>> No. 383986 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 1:26 am
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u wot m8?
>> No. 383987 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 2:16 am
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Why do anarchists drink earl grey?

Because proper tea is theft.
>> No. 383997 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 11:36 am
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That is the oldest joke, get new jokes.
>> No. 383998 Anonymous
26th September 2014
Friday 12:07 pm
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Your Mum is a joke, m8.

>> No. 346596 Anonymous
19th April 2013
Friday 7:15 am
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Another breakout of the paedogeddon has struck home!

Rolph Harris being named as the next* chap what done a noncing

All just rumours at present, but he has a weird moustache, and worked with kids, therefore, nonce.
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>> No. 383931 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 4:46 pm
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Is that gay slang?
>> No. 383932 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 4:47 pm
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I think it's nonce slang ladmate.
>> No. 383933 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 5:10 pm
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Really, lads?
>> No. 383935 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 5:34 pm
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I hope after he gets put in the barbox he is properly rummaged in his frosted molasses.
>> No. 383958 Anonymous
25th September 2014
Thursday 7:31 am
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Yoof today, eh?

>> No. 382928 Anonymous
12th September 2014
Friday 4:36 am
382928 Strange encounters with strangers in public
This isn't a particularly strange event what a great start to a thread but it's been on my mind and I thought it might make for an interesting .gs thread.

A while ago, while failing to attend college, I was in Caffe Nero. I was just browsing reddit or something to kill time before I went back home to make it look like I'd been out a while. Just as I was about to leave, the women next to me stops me and says something like "I can't help but feel you are a sad person and need help" and gives me a business card with some church's details on it before leaving herself.

Now, I've probably posted on /emo/ before about my life and all that. I am not a happy person but I'm not sure what about me just sitting in some overpriced coffee shop drinking a cappuccino while reading some clickbait Guardian article gives off a 'depressed vibe'. Why me, out of all the people she could have encountered that day? I am aware that I am probably overthinking things but it still seems a bit odd to me.

Any tales to share, ladm8's?
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>> No. 383927 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 4:14 pm
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I think you'll find that .gs qualifies more as antisocial media.

Bitch away, lad. Change a few locations if it makes you feel better.
>> No. 383934 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 5:24 pm
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That is very unfair. Many of us are just asocial. It's a very different thing.
>> No. 383946 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 9:42 pm
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I seem to handle awkward people fairly well, having dealt with them from a very early age. This includes the drunk, high, those with mental conditions or any combination of the above.

I think you just have to remember that most are lonely in the extreme.* Maybe they've gotten used to the idea of being threatening and embrace that to some degree, or are quite bitter about things, but why else would you be hassling strangers if not for a bit of human contact, no matter how unpleasant or weird? I particularly think they go for younger and educated looking types as they're the most sensitive to them. But I don't think the solution to this is just to harden, I make an effort to engage with them in whatever way I can. A few highlights:

- Bus station, a middle-aged man who is clearly drunk but holding himself in a passable way asks me for a cigarette, I tell him I don't have any and he then asks in a really threatening tone, "why?". He clearly wanted me to panic, or back off, or snap back at him with something sarcastic, but I did my best to calmly tell him I don't smoke. I can't remember why but I distinctly remember putting my hand on his shoulder, it sounds hilariously patronising or Corrigan-y, but I wanted to show that I wasn't afraid of physical contact or confrontation. It must have worked as he did the same, and we ended up talking about quitting smoking and his ex. Also, he didn't lamp me.
- An older woman, black, extremely long hair tied back, asks me to help her with her bags to a taxi rank outside the bus station. I tell her I'm only going so far as my bus bay, but being a good Samaritan offer to take it out and walk back to my bay. She refuses, but I've already picked up her things. When we get to my bay, I swear, she grabs the first male she sees and makes the exact plea. There was a very strange moment during the bag exchange where I felt used for about forty feet of ground coverage, but it is quite funny in retrospect.
- Breaking up a fight outside a Wetherspoons that started over an argument about who is currently president of the United States. This was in 2009 - 10, with Obama recently being elected. I missed the entire first half of their conversation, but some person was adamant that Bush Jr. was still in office and proceeded to swing at some poor bastard who corrected him. Incidentally, if you want to overcome your fear of strange people on various substances, a Swansea Wetherspoons is an ideal training ground.
- A man on a bus who spent the first quarter of my journey loudly announcing his theories of everything, and then extending his deepest sympathies with me as he believed I would likely be young enough to see the start of World War 3. When I asked him why, he just said "'cos that's the way things are going, innit?". I remember saying, "well, I hope not", and then as casually as I could, getting up and moving to another seat.
- A woman who is in her 60s, both drunk and high, having admitted to getting utterly blitzed at her granddaughters 18th birthday party, has been thrown out of a cab as I'm walking home. Well, I didn't know this until I started speaking to her, because I actually found her laying down next to a car. In the middle of a road. I suppose you can't just leave someone that way. I actually had to lift the old lass and have her hold my arm as we walked, and I quickly discovered that I had to support her carefully as she fell flat on her back the moment I let go. She's grateful but makes one curious comment along the lines of "maybe I should trust strangers, but who'd want to rape an old bird like me anyway, eh?". She ends up drunkenly guiding me the wrong way around my block until I figure out where she actually lives from drunken clues and drop her off inside her flat. It took what must have been seven solid minutes of key fumbling. She offered me a coffee. I politely refused.

My writing isn't that great tonight, but I hope this post is worth something.

* I'm obviously not talking about panhandlers, those hard up for cash or those out to cause trouble with their friends or whatever, just the individuals who want to grab your attention or to talk to you at all costs.
>> No. 383948 Anonymous
24th September 2014
Wednesday 10:05 pm
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A guy with a giant chin tumour say next to me on the bus. It was as big as an orange and looked like it had grown-out of a port wine stain and was pink.

He didn't interact with me, and of course he's got the right to go out in public, but I couldn't stop thinking about it for the next few days. It came back to me the next time I ate chickpeas because it was about the same shape as a chickpea. I couldn't help wondering how the textures compared and if a tumour feels kind of squashy.
>> No. 384147 Anonymous
30th September 2014
Tuesday 10:49 am
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I was walking to the shop today, and some woman saw me smoking a rollie and stopped me, saying something about baccy. I told her I hadn't got it on me, but then she stated that she was asking if I wanted to buy some, offering me 50g Golden Virginia for a fiver.

I had the money on me, and my card to replace the funds, but was intent on buying beers and a bit drunk already so I thanked her for the offer and continued onwards to ASDA. It was about 1pm yesterday and I've been kicking myself ever since.

>> No. 383103 Anonymous
13th September 2014
Saturday 11:20 am
383103 Manchester dogs home fire
Particularly sad event. A 15 year old kid started the fire which killed about 60 dogs, many members of the public were rushing in to save dogs risking their own lives. People started donating to them and so far they've raised close to a million pounds.

What's interesting though, as someone at work pointed out yesterday, is that the response of most people to this news is "awww how terrible" but we've become so desensitised to hearing about humans being killed that we simply shrug it off.
28 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 383816 Anonymous
21st September 2014
Sunday 6:53 pm
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>> No. 383817 Anonymous
21st September 2014
Sunday 6:58 pm
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>Alan Gregson, an eyewitness who owns a nearby holiday home, said: "It was a really bad fire with loads of flames and smoke. It's sad that animals have died."

Alan Gregson: Human Being.
>> No. 383888 Anonymous
23rd September 2014
Tuesday 2:06 pm
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Fucking hell it's the Dogocalypse!
>> No. 383889 Anonymous
23rd September 2014
Tuesday 3:23 pm
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I think it is sad that animals have died. I think the fire was bad.
>> No. 383890 Anonymous
23rd September 2014
Tuesday 5:06 pm
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>> No. 382387 Anonymous
8th September 2014
Monday 12:22 pm
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We broach the subject of Scottish succession via the medium of music.
41 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 383387 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 6:38 pm
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I'm already wearing my burqa. Mostly so I can sneak out of the country disguised as a muzzy woman.
>> No. 383433 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 9:06 am
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Still disapointed that Blaze Bayley hasn't made an official statement.
>> No. 383444 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 2:14 pm
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Yeah, only a paranoid, ignorant shut-in would be pissed off by this.
>> No. 383470 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 10:00 pm
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Too obvious?
>> No. 383644 Anonymous
19th September 2014
Friday 9:23 pm
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>> No. 383453 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 7:20 pm
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My dad (yes, him) has managed to send £500 to the wrong person on PayPal. How might I be able to find out who he is with his email?
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>> No. 383458 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 8:07 pm
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On the topic of having a really common name. I managed to score my incredibly common name @outlook.com when Microsoft shifted to that domain for email addresses. Since that, I've had people using my email address to sign up for all sorts of shite. Do not recommend ever moving away from embarrassing teenage email addresses, no matter how professional you might think you look.
>> No. 383459 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 8:32 pm
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Try this https://pipl.com/
>> No. 383468 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 9:47 pm
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I keep forgetting if my hotmail account ends with .com or .co.uk so someone using the other probably gets my crap all the time.
>> No. 383642 Anonymous
19th September 2014
Friday 8:03 pm
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I registered both just because I knew I wouldn't remember.
>> No. 383820 Anonymous
22nd September 2014
Monday 12:17 am
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Did it being on the Internet make him think he was dealing with Monopoly money or something? Christ alive.

>> No. 378896 Anonymous
16th July 2014
Wednesday 7:58 pm
378896 Childhood assumptions
Tell me about things you believed in as a child that seem ridiculous now.

I thought the number of testicles in your nutsack increased with age.

I thought babies came out your Jap's eye.
171 posts and 9 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 383392 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 9:10 pm
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"Your computer is trying to perform an illegal operation."

I switched it off at the mains and hid under the bed.
>> No. 383395 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 9:21 pm
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I'm sure that was never a genuine error message, it was just something microsoft put in there to scare children.
>> No. 383423 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 1:43 am
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Division by zero, access memory out of bounds, dereference a null pointer... plenty of "illegal" things program can do (that would benefit from more meaningful error messages, except MS wisely chose to keep things simple for the end user) without having to make things up.
>> No. 383443 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 1:37 pm
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I thought 'top trumps' was when, you'd take turns to fart on eachother's face, and see whose fart was smelliest.
>> No. 383881 Anonymous
23rd September 2014
Tuesday 7:06 am
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I remember full on cunt punting this girl when we were in year 2, firmly believing that it wouldn't hurt her because there was nothing there.

>> No. 381698 Anonymous
31st August 2014
Sunday 2:37 am
381698 Trumpet polishing
Anyone ever had a sexual encounter with someone from on the telly.

Pic related.
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>> No. 382311 Anonymous
7th September 2014
Sunday 7:02 pm
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>she had huge nips for her age
>for her age

Rolf, is that you, m8
>> No. 382320 Anonymous
7th September 2014
Sunday 8:04 pm
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Stop the naming bullshit.

If Are Rolf wants to post here, it is at his discretion!

Do they get Internet on rule 45?
>> No. 382396 Anonymous
8th September 2014
Monday 2:08 pm
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If she's Gabby Logan's sister, she can't be too young surely? Though I am still confused as to what he meant about her age.
>> No. 383422 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 1:35 am
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actually lad that's probably true as one of my mates in the 90s shagged her as well, every single time fifth element comes on or owt with her in, we get the "i've had that" gloat
>> No. 383424 Anonymous
18th September 2014
Thursday 2:15 am
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90s was shaggin' time, so who could blame any of the involved parties?

kanye west smile.jpg
>> No. 383237 Anonymous
15th September 2014
Monday 6:19 pm
383237 Yeezus

According to news reports, after attempting to heal the cripple Mr. West went on to feed his entire entourage with 2 bottles of Cristal and a 5-piece meal from KFC.

He was later seen delivering a sermon whilst mounted on the hood of a Lexus.

He's really taking this Yeezus thing pretty seriously.
9 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 383353 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 12:10 am
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I've been drinking. What's the problem?
>> No. 383356 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 12:19 am
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Histrionic shitposting by the OP of the Indy thread on /b/. I'm being melodramatic, obviously, but he started it...
>> No. 383360 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 12:29 am
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I don't see the pattern.
>> No. 383362 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 12:38 am
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Ctrl + f whiny and fuck off.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 383375 Anonymous
17th September 2014
Wednesday 1:02 pm
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Drunk enough apparently.

>> No. 381116 Anonymous
22nd August 2014
Friday 10:20 am
381116 Weekend Thread [4.0]
Time for a new weekend thread lads and ladettes.

So, what are we all up to?
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>> No. 383151 Anonymous
13th September 2014
Saturday 8:42 pm
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Where? What am I doing here all sober if that's the case somewhere out there?
>> No. 383188 Anonymous
14th September 2014
Sunday 3:02 am
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Gone back to Hull (Welly) for my mates birthday. Decent night apart from some teenlass dug her nails into my armpit because she deiceed to walk where I was dancing, spilled <5% of her drink and demanded I buy her a new one.
>> No. 383196 Anonymous
14th September 2014
Sunday 2:06 pm
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Sounds like you were in there m8.
>> No. 383210 Anonymous
14th September 2014
Sunday 5:32 pm
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Local offie, I really should pay more attention to them and give them my support as they do some nice offers.
>> No. 383217 Anonymous
14th September 2014
Sunday 9:24 pm
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I was feeling down, so I started just visiting whatever website I could find on my bookmarks list. After clicking a lot of links to different places, I ended up on the DailyMail. I started to read most of their top stories, and it made me feel depressed. I remembered that whenever I visited their website, I would leave feeling down and hopeless.

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