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>> No. 405839 Anonymous
19th October 2016
Wednesday 2:31 pm
405839 Mid-week thread
Mid-week thread?

Mid-week thread.

What are you lot up to?
541 posts and 45 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 408091 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 1:03 pm
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>>408085

>"I think you're amazing but I don't want to ruin what we have"


Always worth pointing out that the friend zone is really actually a real thing.

Few things are as deeply set in stone as a woman's notion, once she has arrived at it, that you are unfuckable to her.

If you want to preserve even the tiniest amount of your dignity, turn your attention to somebody else who will actually see you as partner and shagging material. And quickly. It's the only way to maintain your self respect and to find happiness.

And shame on you for considering violating the sanctity of somebody else's marriage. How do you even live with yourself.


>>408088
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>> No. 408093 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 5:02 pm
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Well, after 3 weeks of my best mate having a right fucking go at me about "never coming up with the goods" - bollocks mind - I finally get him a free ticket to Metallica. Tomorrow. The fucker is piss drunk and will probably forget. Fuck's sake. So I will get more grief over the next year, as he is unemployed for the next 6 months and will spend the entire time on the piss.

Am well, I have just negotiated full funding of an international company. Life could be worse, could be better, I suppose.
>> No. 408094 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 5:50 pm
408094 spacer
>>408093

Metallica is overrated anyway. I wouldn't want to go see them even if I got a free ticket from my best mate.
>> No. 408095 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 8:46 pm
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>>408094

I wouldn't either, he asked for it. And then bitched at me. Problem is, he really is a decent bloke, he's just been pissed every time we've met since New Year. Meh.
>> No. 408096 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 8:52 pm
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>>408093

FWI, if you give me free shit I'll be far less of a dickhead about.

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>> No. 407828 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 1:36 pm
407828 spacer
Weekend thread? Weekend thread.

How's it going, lads?
49 posts and 6 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 408041 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 6:57 pm
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>>407984

I feel like we are meant to have standards, and this post did not match them.
>> No. 408044 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 11:27 pm
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I work for one of the UK's biggest PR firms, currently in my office doing PR stuff in my gym clothes

Actually enjoying keeping on top of shit

Looking forward to raving on e next weekend tho, gonna be mint
>> No. 408045 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 11:43 pm
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>>408044

If you don't start putting full stops at the end of your sentences, I'm going to start keeping on top of you with Land Rover.
>> No. 408046 Anonymous
15th January 2017
Sunday 12:00 am
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>>408045
That's no way to treat a Land Rover.
>> No. 408092 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 1:35 pm
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>>407828
Так то охуенно все.

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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
1293 posts and 105 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 408010 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 4:42 pm
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>>408009

TH STAS SO BRITE
>> No. 408011 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 5:30 pm
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>>408010
FER NANDO'S
>> No. 408012 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 5:35 pm
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Last night I dreamed I had sexual contact with a maqaque monkey.

THANKS /IQ/!
>> No. 408013 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 10:16 pm
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>>408012

That's odd; I had a dream that some mungbean was fucking a macaque.
>> No. 408086 Anonymous
19th January 2017
Thursday 10:53 am
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I went into college and Patrice Evra was just hanging about in my class, chatting to people.

Seemed like a nice bloke.

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>> No. 408026 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 12:39 am
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It's entirely likely that Boston and Skegness will be washed away at around 6 o'clock this morning. How will you be celebrating?
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>> No. 408028 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 10:46 am
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It's got another go at it this with this evening's high tide.
>> No. 408029 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 12:13 pm
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These are two of the most important cultural centres of the UK, and I am shocked and insulted that you would be celebrating their demise.
>> No. 408030 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 5:41 pm
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>>408029
Im shocked you wouldnt celebrate gods wrath for voting brexit.
>> No. 408034 Anonymous
13th January 2017
Friday 7:18 pm
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As long as London still stands there will be no celebrations.

- Northerner
>> No. 408043 Anonymous
14th January 2017
Saturday 8:13 pm
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>>408034

Mirth.

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>> No. 407782 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 8:51 pm
407782 Good or bad choice?
Long story short, i'm dating a girl my best mate used to like, he found out because he saw I was sexting her and she was the wall paper on my ipad. He's no longer my friend and neither are my other friends as they liked him more than me anyway. Did I make a good choice sacrificing friends for comfort from a female? Or am I a complete cunt?
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>> No. 407999 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 3:05 am
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>>407985

I've heard it as "milk brothers" the milk presumably referring to spunk, though I never researched the origins.

My first girlfriend provided me a pretty respectable amount of minge brothers, as it stands. Six if I knew about them all. I was the first in line though so I feel good about that.
>> No. 408014 Anonymous
12th January 2017
Thursday 1:25 am
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I had a situation at uni where I was the lad who didn't have a chance with said girl but pined over her and a "mate" started trying it on with her.

I say "mate" in quotation marks because he was a friend of a friend and honestly I didn't like him. He was with a girlfriend in first year and seemed ok. He broke up that girl at the beginning of second year and was trying it on with every girl that showed him the slightest bit of interest. He turned to drugs. Weed, ket, MD and acid were the ones I knew about, perhaps more. I didn't particularly like this attitude. I'm ok with uni students experimenting with weed and MD but he was introducing some of my friends to the whole cocktail. Roughly a few months before second year I was stupidly biding my time with this girl which as we all know is a waste of time. It was just at the end of freshers week in second year this lad was trying it on with the girl.

I had realised I had to up my game. Now I have many moments in my life where I'll remember past experiences that make me cringe. I'll get onto why this is significant in a moment.

It was in a club where an animal themed fancy dress party was going on. Me and a friend had ordered horse head masks as you do. We went and the girl was there and we got chatting. The lad also turned up, was no surprise though as he was part of our horseman of the apocalypse group even though if I recall correctly our fourth horseman didn't turn up. The lad had his friends making him look good in front of her. Also not unexpected to have wingmen. I was fighting a losing battle with this girl. My friend on the other hand is known for getting drunk quickly but not enough to earn the title of lightweight. He was feeling ill, anxious and on top of that needed a piss in a more familiar area. I feel like a bastard about it but I tried to fight longer in a scenario where it was not to be while my friend really wanted to go home. To put in a greater context I am well known for making sure my friends get home safely and am willing to leave a club early. I know I don't pull in clubs so it makes me feel like I've done something vaguely productive. After I felt the nail was hammered in I left for home with my friend. This resulting in me almost in tears wearing a horse head mask at 1am letting out my inner soul to my pissed up friend who was dying to go home.

This continued further some time later when I sent a fake drunk text to the girl which was designed with the help of another friend. I got a simple reply a day later with a stern "sorry I'm busy then". I realised I lost but for whatever reason the lad I had attempted to battle which was equivalent to prodding a tank with a tampon to damage it had not progressed. Over the course of a few months nothing really happened and I promptly moved on. She went out with him at one point and broke up after two days. I don't know exactly what had happened but the lad moved on. He had a FWB relationship with another girl and they started going out exclusively for about 5 ish months. They broke up because he was apparently clingy which was why the first girlfriend broke up with him. As of last month he's going out with another girl. Throughout this year we've had friction and while I don't hate him, I prefer not to be associated with him.

Now about that cringe moment thing...I cringe over a shite attempt of asking a girl out over 10 years ago, I cringe at my poor attempt at arguing with a homeless man and I cringe over another failed attempt at arguing with a security guard over a fire alarm. But I don't cringe over being a grown ass man almost blubbering in the streets while wearing a horse head mask or sending a fake drunk text. The reason is due to the fact I had heard from different sources that said girl only really associates with me because she likes having a man pine over her but not reciprocating. I can't even categorise it as leading me on but I felt like an utter fool for falling into this trap.

I moved on. Met this asian lass, fucked her and while it didn't progress further all thoughts of this girl disappeared. I only remember it all now due to this thread and noticing the girl is currently online on facebook (she rarely uses it).

I only really wanted to mention that the above lad was a prick and he knew I had feelings for this girl. But these are two statements unrelated to each other. He was genuinely a prick. I remember my female friends feeling uncomfortable around him. I mean I remember he snorted ket on my fucking coffee table without even asking. That's just plain rude. Glad I haven't seen him for months.
>> No. 408015 Anonymous
12th January 2017
Thursday 4:33 am
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>>408014

>said girl only really associates with me because she likes having a man pine over her but not reciprocating

This seems pretty common to me. I have a fairly flirty nature and I'm not subtle when it comes to displaying interest in someone, and this has led to many a woman who will push (or try to push) ridiculously far just to feel desired. It's often women who have been in relationships or marriage for a few years, presumably when the shine starts to wear off and they miss being in the honored guest of the sausage party.

Once I learned to identify it and stopped responding to it, I just enticed more and more of their attention, until they tried too hard and then I ended up in a rabbit hole of fucking married women. Girls are weird
>> No. 408017 Anonymous
12th January 2017
Thursday 7:09 am
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>>408014>>408015
One of my friends has always had lads fancying her, she's not unattractive but with her I'd say it was more to do with her personality than anything. Anyway, during our teen years I lost count of the number of lads she led on; she doesn't like letting people down or hurting their feelings, so instead of facing up to the awkward situation of having to let them know she wasn't interested she'd bury her head in the sand even though this was worse in the long run. Cowardice, really.
>> No. 408018 Anonymous
12th January 2017
Thursday 12:04 pm
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>>408014

> because she likes having a man pine over her but not reciprocating.

This is the worst fucking thing that can ever happen to you. Especially when you're really lovestruck about somebody. And then when somebody knows it and just plays with you or likes to keep you around as an ego boost.

It would be nice to think that that only happens when you're a teenlad, but I've seen it go down that way many a time in adulthood as well.

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>> No. 407986 Anonymous
10th January 2017
Tuesday 5:48 pm
407986 I'm becoming tired of the Internet.
It is almost completely made out of and made for people who have absolutely no clue about anything important but endlessly chat and talk and write about all this they have no competence for.

Endless chatter, like a huge ball of woman gossiping three-dimensionally with each other.

Be it politics or morals or news - even the mass media sites only talk and report endlessly
about stuff they have no real knowledge of but only hype and report one opinion after another.

Opinions, counter-opinions, counter-counter-opinions, how do you feel because of this and that,
what are your feelings about this, no, I feel otherwise, blablablablah

A decade ago I was in a big school and in the breaks between lessons the chatter of the
pupils was deafening, shouting, crying, gossiping, squeeking - only nonsense, loud, pointless
nonsense so loud you could not hear your own voice if you were not screaming.
The same happens today in the Internet, but only in written form.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 407992 Anonymous
10th January 2017
Tuesday 10:09 pm
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I'm of quite the opposite opinion, looked at objectively the level of discourse is much higher in imageboard-land compared to when I started my shitposting career in 2010 (seven years ago, already, fucking hell).

I would imagine the average age on here and the other place has gone up quite a bit since the old days.
>> No. 407993 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 12:00 am
407993 spacer
it's very much the same in the real world
>> No. 408001 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 3:29 am
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>>407992

Do we ever leave? I'm pretty sure everyone here has been here since the old days.
>> No. 408002 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 3:51 am
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>>408001
No one ever leaves without making some nuisance.
>> No. 408016 Anonymous
12th January 2017
Thursday 4:36 am
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>>4080022

I'm imagining creating a thread saying goodbye forever to the .gs and getting sixteen bans and one reply saying "who are you again?"

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>> No. 407994 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 1:58 am
407994 Snorting flour
Film student here. I need to snort some flour for a project. Is it as harmless as I think it will be, or will it be like the 7th ring of hell?
Expand all images.
>> No. 407995 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 2:02 am
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>>407994
Have you googled? According to tarantino.info, you shouldn't use flour - evaporated milk looks better and is much less harmful.
>> No. 407996 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 2:14 am
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>>407994
The damage from snorting coke doesn't come from the coke. You won't have the same high with flour but you still risk fucking up your nose. Pacino did baking soda in Scarface but he had trouble with his nasal passages for years afterward.
>> No. 407997 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 3:00 am
407997 spacer
Talc or icing sugar would likely be the least harmful, and my guess is icing sugar is better because it'll dissolve more. It really depends how much you need to do - a couple of lines done over a few takes and everything will be fine, if you're planning on Pacino mountains you might have to be smarter.
>> No. 408003 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 5:46 am
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Vitamin B powder.
>> No. 408006 Anonymous
11th January 2017
Wednesday 1:13 pm
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Just get some real drugs.

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>> No. 407533 Anonymous
25th December 2016
Sunday 11:29 pm
407533 George Michael (1963-2016)
Goodnight, sweet Prince.
27 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 407595 Anonymous
27th December 2016
Tuesday 12:52 pm
407595 spacer
>>407579

Well they've still got Christmas themed adverts on TV. Just yesterday I saw a few.

Are we to understand that they all didn't get the memo?
>> No. 407960 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:46 am
407960 spacer
I don't mean to spit on George's grave, but Andrew Ridegway was an exceptionally talented musical artist and all around gayboy in more ways than one.
Wham! ain't dead yet, not by a long shot
>> No. 407961 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:21 pm
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>>407960

> all around gayboy in more ways than one

I thought Andrew Ridgeley was the straight one of the two?
>> No. 407973 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 6:11 pm
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If I scroll quickly past this thread on my phone the OP image looks like a cross between Ted and Fintan Stack.
>> No. 407974 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 8:29 pm
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>>407973

SEE ME SEE ME SEE DI HIT MAN AH COME

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>> No. 407958 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:37 am
407958 Congratulations
You are very special, .GS
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>> No. 407959 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:45 am
407959 spacer
MY MUM SAYS I'M A SPECIAL BOY.
>> No. 407962 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:22 pm
407962 spacer
>>407959

There, there.

Now put on your rubber helmet so the attendants can strap you into your chair.
>> No. 407964 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:28 pm
407964 spacer
I predict the special relationship will be less Reagan/Thatcher and more Caesar and Cleopatra.
>> No. 407966 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:45 pm
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>>407964

Stranger things have happened.
>> No. 407967 Anonymous
9th January 2017
Monday 1:51 pm
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>>407964

I'm thinking Ike and Tina.

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>> No. 407884 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:50 pm
407884 Bernd Locked
Harry Kim ist hier und wünscht euch allen frohes neues jahr !
Expand all images.
>> No. 407885 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:51 pm
407885 spacer
>>407884
You what m8?
>> No. 407886 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 9:51 pm
407886 spacer
>>407885
I think he is wishing us happy new year.
>> No. 407888 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 10:03 pm
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>>/zoo/ is for Krautchan refugees, friend Bernd.

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>> No. 407703 Anonymous
1st January 2017
Sunday 2:10 am
407703 I never once itched my back
anyone else?
12 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 407851 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:43 pm
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>>407849
Dead skin?
>> No. 407852 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:50 pm
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>>407849

Billions of trapped souls brushing past the interdimensional boundry, desperately spiraling into a deeper and deeper madness, as their quest for an afterlife becomes ever more forgotten.
>> No. 407855 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 4:56 pm
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>>407849>>407851

It's also good for things like shedding your winter fur, or removing parasites.
>> No. 407863 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 5:28 pm
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>>407855

> shedding your winter fur, or removing parasites

I suppose if you are a Neanderthal and live in a paleolithic cave, yes.
>> No. 407866 Anonymous
7th January 2017
Saturday 6:11 pm
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>>407863
But as >>407849 asked, that is essentially "the medical reason". Itches are mostly useless for us bald and clean humans, but have a real purpose in the rest of the animal kingdom.

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>> No. 407798 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:17 am
407798 spacer
Locked
Hello, gentlemen. We are from 2ch and need your memes. Wouldn't you show them for us?
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>> No. 407800 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:26 am
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>>407798
Nash Sovetskij Sojuz pokaraet
Ves' mir ot Evropy k Neve na vostok
Nad zemljoj vezde budut pet':
Stolica, vodka, Sovetskij medved' nash!
>> No. 407802 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 9:35 am
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Mo4aaa! CoPeeee!
>> No. 407804 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 10:02 am
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>>407798 hey boy wrong board
>> No. 407805 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 11:02 am
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Пошел нахуй, гондон.
>> No. 407806 Anonymous
6th January 2017
Friday 11:03 am
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Hey boys I understand it's exciting to be Russian teenagers but please try to keep your foreign gibberish to >>>/zoo/

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>> No. 407296 Anonymous
10th December 2016
Saturday 9:28 pm
407296 Is the Bond film on
A long time ago in a cave far far away, about this time of the season. Some Cro Magnons were probably sat around in a cave all miserable, shivering in their mammoth skins in the constant dark, until one probably thought fuck this, let's store some food and that juice from fruit that makes everyone happy when left in a big bowl with a lid on for a few weeks. Then just have it all and cheer ourselves up a bit same time next year.

Little did Throk realise what bollocks would happen after his idea 20 000 years ago.

Post your triangular black and white striped sweets rants here
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>> No. 407772 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 12:44 pm
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>>407771

You're throwing away money. The plumber did shoddy work, and you have a right as a customer, either of the plumber or of Rightio, to have it done properly. And you also have a right to have bad repairs redone properly at no extra charge.

Now you call them right now and tell them that, and that Anon from .gs said so.
>> No. 407774 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 1:49 pm
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>>407772
This. If they fucked it up, it's on them to put it right at their own expense.
>> No. 407777 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 7:17 pm
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>>407774

Alternatively, call Channel 5 and ask them if they're still looking for people for the next Cowboy Builders series.
>> No. 407779 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 7:39 pm
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>>407772
>>407774
Guys. It's turning a nut. I just tried to do it myself and I think I managed it. If it carries on leaking I'll come back and post so you can say I told you so.
>> No. 407787 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 9:34 pm
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>>407779

>Guys. It's turning a nut.

I would have demanded they come back and fix it regardless. Just to be a cunt who knows his rights. And then the next time, they'd know better than to leave a job half finished. Because some cunt had them come back to tighten a nut.

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>> No. 407687 Anonymous
31st December 2016
Saturday 6:18 pm
407687 New Year Thread 2017
Its nearly that time again when balls around the world will drop. Tell us what you are doing to celebrate and for those of you in the future how did everything go.

This year it looks like I will be complaining about the things on television. Who are all these people on Top of the Pops and why does everything sound like the soundtrack to a gap year advertisement, am I out of touch? Or is it the children who are wrong??

I think its best we try this thread again.
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>> No. 407757 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 4:56 pm
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>>407740
I was in a bathroom recently and saw the darnedest thing in the mirror while I was washing my hands. This little yellow bum hovering just below the cubicle doors. It turns out this oriental chap squats gooch to the ground while he wipes.
>> No. 407763 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 9:06 pm
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>>407757
I find it hard to believe that anyone could distinguish an oriental arse from a white one. Did you wait for him to finish up and leave the cubicle?
>> No. 407764 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 9:12 pm
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>>407763
I'm something of an arse expert. A derriere connoisseur.
>> No. 407766 Anonymous
4th January 2017
Wednesday 10:36 pm
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>>407764

>I'm something of an arse expert.

Interesting. How, under what circumstances, did you acquire that special knowledge?
>> No. 407768 Anonymous
5th January 2017
Thursday 6:33 am
407768 spacer
>>407764

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh_V86t9k7I

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