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My neighbour keeps chucking birdseed out to feed pigeons, to the extent that there's about thirty of the cunts perched on his roof all day long. His garden backs on to the residential parking square thing where I have three cars parked and get covered in shit all of the time. There's also three or four dead pigeons a week end up in there.
I've told him to pack it in, and he does for a week or so then gets right back at it. He's quite a nice bloke so I don't want to go mental at him quite yet, also I half want to buy his house so I want to keep him sweet.
Anyway, I'm obviously here to discuss the
morality legality of pigeon murder. They're rodents, aren't they, so I can do whatever the fuck I want to them?
How would YOU best kill a flock of pigeons, for the most impact and plausible deniability? There was always an urban legend about if you feed them alkaseltzer they explode, is this true? I'd very much like them to explode. Other than that I have access to strong narcotics, how much speed do you think it takes to kill a bird? I could bake it into bread and scatter it about the car park. Do you think I could buy a bird disease off the dark web? How would you do it? Any ideas are welcome, I just wanted to spitball here. Blue sky thinking, the works.
My less genocidey approach would just be to buy bird seed and pile loads of it around the neighbours car at night, so they all just sit on top of his motor until he gets the point.