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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
1419 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 414273 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 6:09 pm
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This list is more comprehensive
Suggested for short stories:
>"Notes on Writing Weird Fiction" by H. P. Lovecraft

For constructing a solid basic novel and avoiding shitty pitfalls:
>"How Not to write a novel" by Mittelmark & Newman
>"How to write a damn good novel" by James N. Frey
>"How to write a damn good novel II" by James N. Frey
>"Self-editing for fiction writers" by Browne & King
>"The Art of Fiction" by John Gardner
>"Telling Lies for Fun & Profit" by Lawrence Block

For writing poetry:
>"The ode less travelled" by Stephen Fry

"Motivational" whatever:
>"Zen in the art of writing" by Raymond Bradbury
>"On Writing" by Stephen King
>"Letters to a Young Novelist" by Mario Llosa
>"The Art of the Novel" by Kundera

>"The Hero with 1000 faces" by Joseph Campbell
>"The Golden Bough" by George Frazer
>"The Morphology of the Folktale" by Vladimir Propp
>"The Art of Fiction" by J. Gardner
>"The Book of Legendary Lands" by Umberto Eco
>"The Elements of Style" Strunk & White
>"The Successful Novelist" by David Morrell

Autismal worldbuilding procrastination:
>"The language construction kit" by M. Rosenfelder
>"The planet construction kit" by M. Rosenfelder

Actively avoid:
>"The writer's journey" by C. Vogler
>"How to books" anything with that red and yellow logo is a heap of shit

Fuck art get money:
>"Read Techniques or the Selling Writer" by Dwight Swaim

but honestly if he doesn't have time for classes then >>414271 is more useful than anything on how-to. It's just procrastination.
>> No. 414274 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 6:22 pm
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Appreciate the suggestions and book list very much, thank you.
>> No. 414536 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 7:28 am
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I was in the shop trying to buy some milk but they refused to sell me semi-skimmed because I had my kids with me, which is apparently illegal for kids under the age of 12. I eventually convinced them the semi-skimmed milk was for me, but I also had to buy some full-fat milk for the kids as that's safe and legal for them to drink.
>> No. 414569 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 12:35 am
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IMAGES seal-skin
>> No. 414580 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 6:12 pm
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I dreamt that our new second PS4 detected we were logged on in two places at once and deleted all the games I had. That's a Christmas anxiety dream right there.
>> No. 414593 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:44 pm
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I had a dream last night that I was a school teacher and that I was secretly downloading (adult!) porn onto my laptop via the school's wi-fi, and throughout my dream, I was pondering the likelihood of being discovered and getting fired for it.

What is wrong with me.
>> No. 414594 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:46 pm
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That reminds me of a Blinky strip I read as a kid in the Dandy. Blinky's mum has asked him to go to the shops for a pint of milk, so naturally he enters a pub and says 'a pinta, please'. The landlord bellows 'what?! You're far too underage!', and as Blinky's being thrown out he mutters 'how old do you have to be to buy semi-skimmed?'
>> No. 414597 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 2:50 pm
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Why the fuck would you remember that?
>> No. 414599 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 3:35 pm
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I don't choose what I get to remember. Moments stick in the mind while others fade away like, well, dreams.

If you really want a reason I think I might have remembered it because I was amused at seeing a representation of alcohol licensing law in a children's comic.
>> No. 414600 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 3:48 pm
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I had a dream where I was doing a degree level examination on magic the gathering card mechanics, but instead of paper I was provided a lemonade bottle and required to write my essay answers in the condensation.
>> No. 414604 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 6:18 pm
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Something's just get stuck in your head. For some reason a scene in Scooby Doo where he loses his voice and keys "Relp!" on a typewriter has always stuck with me.
>> No. 414623 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 10:14 pm
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Thanks again for these suggestions chaps. Have now got many of them on my (new xmas) Kindle and enjoying very much. The Stephen King book in particularly is really useful.
>> No. 414639 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 6:47 pm
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The condensation part made me chuckle.
>> No. 414644 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 10:26 pm
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I keep having dreams about secretly being in the village where one of my exes used to live. Our breakup was particularly unpleasant, and to this day, we pretty much pretend the other person doesn't exist. And yet, in my dreams at night, I keep walking around in her village, always worried that she, one of her friends, or just somebody who used to know me might spot me. My dreams usually consist of trying to find the way out of the village, on foot, but I never manage to get out, and instead just keep getting lost in a maze of village backstreets everytime I have that dream.

Interpreting this dream kind of seems like low hanging fruit. A bit obvious what's really still going on inside my subconscience with regards to her.
>> No. 414645 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 8:54 am
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After weeks of interesting dreams about space travel and acts of heroism, tonight was a disappointingly predictable affair in which I dreamt about boobs and spiders.
>> No. 414651 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 3:45 pm
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I had a dream last night that there was an alien zombie robot invasion (as baffling as that sounds). I was a member of the military and was in a group of soldiers fighting them off with machine guns one by one.

Somehow those alien zombie robots would just pop up in crowds and start devouring people, and whenever there was an indication that you saw a group of people running panically in a particular direction, it was a sign that they were fleeing from the robots, which was then our cue as soldiers to move in and destroy them.

At some point, we were retreating into what looked like a mediaeval castle by a lake to get a better shot at the robots down below, and then they started entering the castle and we had to shoot them one after another.

It was a bit like the battle scenes in the movie Starship Troopers, except they weren't bugs but, as I said, alien zombie robots.

Make of that what you will.
>> No. 416703 Anonymous
3rd April 2018
Tuesday 9:13 am
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Don't mind me, just bumping the most unweildly thread on the site to talk about my (lovely) cock.

Does anyone else pass out after a wank and have really intense dreams-cum-visions, so to speak? I was in a beige sports hall sized room earlier and more or less everyone I've known, barring relatives, was standing around and I saw the only girl I've properly loved, before briefly attempting to hold her hand against my chest, only to stop when I became ashamed of who I've become and walked off.
>> No. 416706 Anonymous
3rd April 2018
Tuesday 4:45 pm
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Really, this thread again?

Well then.

I had a dream the other night that I was driving through some sort of village looking for the address of one of my exes. For some reason, I had a piece of paper in my hand with the address scribbled on it, but I couldn't really make it out, and so I kept rolling down the window and asking people if they knew where in their nice little village they had a street called Cheshire Lane, Chester Lane, or a few other similar sounding street names, because that was more or less what seemed to be written on the piece of paper. And then one lad popped his head into my car through the open window and said, "Mate, we don't like people asking questions like that here", and he told me to leave the village or he would call the police.

A bit drastic. But I guess villagers are always a close-knit bunch and wary of outsiders.
>> No. 416707 Anonymous
3rd April 2018
Tuesday 6:31 pm
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I honestly always interpret these people in my dreams as me talking to myself telling me to leave the past well alone. Same with when I tried lucid dreaming and told one of the characters that she was just me, but a little bit altered, she ripped off her face and started clawing at mine.

Unless you're really, really comfortable with who you are, I'd stop thinking about it.
>> No. 416708 Anonymous
3rd April 2018
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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So you're essentially saying that the guy who stuck his head through my window was really me telling myself to let it go?

That ex of mine that I was looking for in my dream was a long time ago though, and I kind of closed the book on her almost as long ago. So this hasn't really felt like something that I was still carrying around with me in my subconscience. Not that I was aware of anyway.
>> No. 416709 Anonymous
3rd April 2018
Tuesday 7:03 pm
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Then it's just you reassuring yourself that it's best to leave it in the past, right? Your dream conscience is looking out for you.

Kind of sweet of him, really.
>> No. 416711 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 1:01 am
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Last night I dreamed I got really high - the entire dream was just me lighting up a pipe in my back garden, it was great. When I woke up I felt like I had that little mini hangover you get from smoking enough draw that you pass out.

I haven't smoked in a good long while but I quite fancy it now.
>> No. 416718 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 7:44 pm
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I quit cigarette smoking a number of years ago. For the first two or three years after I quit, I regularly had dreams about lighting up a fag again and then thinking, "Oh no, I've started again!". The last two or three years, however, that kind of dream has become increasingly rare. I guess those things just fade from your subconscience with time.

Also, for about the first two years, I often had moments of weakness where I thought "Man it would be great to have a fag now". But luckily I had enough will power not to start again. And that's how I want to keep it these days. I consider myself a non smoker now, but I am very aware that similar to alcoholics, all it would probably take to get me hooked again would be one cigarette.
>> No. 416719 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 8:43 pm
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I know what you mean, I've certainly had that with other substances I've quit.

Having a dream about weed is particularly odd for me, because I've never really been a stoner. I've probably smoked twenty or thirty times in my entire life, it's certainly never been habitual. I've got a lot of time on my hands right now so maybe it's a good time to pick it up as a hobby.
>> No. 416721 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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> I've got a lot of time on my hands right now so maybe it's a good time to pick it up as a hobby.

That's kind of not such a good idea. One of my mates was unemployed for a while and got into quite a weed habit, to the point where he would just sit in his armchair in front of the TV all day and smoke one after the other. Weed tends to consume a lot of your time when you've got free time on your hands. It's better to have a few things in life that put limits and constraints on your cannabis consumption, like the need to show up for work every day in a coherent enough state that you will be able to function. Many people's weed consumption gets out of hand when they don't have any of that during a period of time in their lives.
>> No. 416724 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 2:28 am
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I'd like to claim I'm old enough and wise enough to not fall into that trap, but you're probably right.

I've been very conscious of not wasting my precious off-time and have probably been working harder than when I'm getting paid, gym 6 days a week, building shit, visiting people I never see, all that shite. It'd be nice to think a bit of a buzz would enhance all of that, but maybe I would end up like your mate. Maybe I'll save it until I'm retired.
>> No. 416740 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 4:20 pm
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> show up for work every day in a coherent enough state that you will be able to function

I already have trouble doing that without drugs.
>> No. 416748 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 6:04 pm
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Mate, I could tell you some stories. I've shown up at work fucked out of my mind on countless drugs. I've drunk a bottle of red wine before work every day for weeks on end. I've shown up at work after 48 hours awake on GHB and modafinil. I've done meth in the toilets and then did everyone's after lunch washing up and took the fucking bins out. I'd go to a bar at lunch on my tod and fuck about on my phone while power drinking Duvels until The Fear went away.

The crowning achievement was when I used to have a bottle of GHB under my desk and dropped a cap every few hours. One time I didn't wait long enough after eating to drop and subsequently dropped another cap thinking the first one wasn't working; they promptly both hit me at once and left me passed out at my desk for four hours.

I never once got fired for any of this atrocious behaviour. Ironically enough, the one time I even got pulled up for "being drunk" was because I had a wisdom tooth infection that basically wired my jaw shut and made me slur like a tramp in a hedge - the irony being that this was the one week I wasn't drinking because the antibiotics I was on were so strong that they basically acted as knock-out drops. I was sleeping 7pm - 7am without so much as a glass of wine.
>> No. 416751 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 6:16 pm
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What sort of jobs were these? I understand the restaurant industry to be rife with such hedonism.

I once went in to work stoned when I had a shitty telesales job I didn't care about. All I will say is that it did not enhance the experience in a positive direction. Another time I did weekends in a shop, and I went in on a deep AMT hangover (the kind where I was still tripping, but had simply managed to convince myself I wasn't). That was nothing short of a harrowing experience.

Work isn't the kind of place I want to be on drugs, because I generally want to enjoy my drugs.
>> No. 416752 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 7:04 pm
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I worked a night job during uni once at a hotel where I would usually man the front desk Mondays or Tuesdays between 12 am and 7 am. Many nights were painfully slow, especially in the winter months, where I somerimes didn't have to attend to a single guest during a shift. So out of sheer boredom I would sometimes go out the back door for a few minutes and smoke one.

One guest that I had to deal with once asked me at 4 am, "Are you alright? You look a bit off!"... but I just said I was a little tired. Other than that, I doubt anyone ever even noticed... for the entire year that I was working there...
>> No. 416758 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 8:47 pm
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>I understand the restaurant industry to be rife with such hedonism.

It definitely is. Many waiters are only in the game at all to cover for their drug empires, and chefs are the biggest customers. I've seen lads smoking crack on the job, done plenty of four or five day back to back shifts thanks to speed, or more recently coke - I spent about two grand in three weeks the christmas before last.

When I worked at a quieter place we'd just drop acid halfway through the shift on Sundays, because there wasn't much else to do. And on 'weekends' (monday nights to us) everyone would just stay in the restaurant after hours and get hammered and pilled up and all the rest and everyone would break off into dark corners to shag each other.

From what I understand, my stories are relatively tame. The crews full of smackheads are even more extreme.
>> No. 416759 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 8:51 pm
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I'll also add I have a mate who smokes, he says, an ounce a week 'just to get him through' and he's considered one of the best chefs around. Stars, rosettes, you name it.

I don't know if his numbers are accurate but from what I've seen him get through, I'd not be surprised.

I could never understand how so many chefs are alkis, though - I'd be sweating my arse off.
>> No. 416772 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 11:12 pm
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> What sort of jobs were these?

Fun and games in the wonderful world of information security / cyber whatever it's called these days.
>> No. 416774 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 11:19 pm
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> I spent about two grand in three weeks the christmas before last.

Lad. A gram of top tier meth is only £200 including "taxi" and will keep you awake for a week guaranteed. Might want to buy some chewing gum unless you want to grind your teeth down to tiny stubs of enamel and dentine, though.
>> No. 416775 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 12:10 am
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I have spent £0 on coke ever

I hope you all choke to death
>> No. 416776 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 12:14 am
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Does your sugar daddy buy it for you and blow it up your arse, you daft ponce?
>> No. 416777 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 12:45 am
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I'll bet he's more of a Pepsi man.
>> No. 416778 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 2:17 am
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Speed never agreed with me, though. You can't work with a nosebleed and I'm too much of a fanny to smoke speed, so Charlie was the solution. Decent gear too, fishscale usually.
>> No. 416779 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 2:30 am
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I haven't eaten meat in four years but still have dreams about having to eat it because someone's elderly relative has made food for me and I'd feel too rude to say no, or something. In the dream I just feel like

>Oh well. It's not going to make me ill and it's not my fault so doesn't really entail falling off the wagon.
>> No. 416780 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 8:27 am
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I think I had a dream about doing some bash shell scripting.
>> No. 416799 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 7:59 pm
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and how did that go?
>> No. 416801 Anonymous
6th April 2018
Friday 8:19 pm
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exit 1
>> No. 416838 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 12:06 pm
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Sounds to me like you're looking for an excuse to eat meat, lad. Go to a remote Greggs where no-one will recognise you and have a sausage roll. Go on, it'll be our little secret.
>> No. 416839 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 12:37 pm
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Is this some kind of pastie based Polari? I think I can decode it -

Eat meat - so obvious
Remote Greggs - a public toilet out of town
Have a sausage roll - insert your penis into my anus
Go on, it'll be our little secret - don't want to get caught like George Michael did
>> No. 416951 Anonymous
12th April 2018
Thursday 12:57 pm
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I had a dream last night that I was having dinner at a quaint looking, half timbered country lodge, picturesquely nestled against a hill, with wooden stairs and all. I engaged in some banter with the very friendly waiter, and when I said needed a room for the night, he suddenly asked me if I had any interest in joining the secret society that the country lodge apparently entertained. I said yes, and so he introduced me to a bunch of lads who were playing sports in the back garden and let me join in. They told me there was a lot they could do for me if I decided to join their secret society.

And then the second dream I had was that I was at some random newsagent's, and they had a poster that the National Lottery was giving away "dream homes". All you had to do was buy a special lottery ticket at £32. I told the girl behind the counter that I would like a ticket, and then she totalled up some numbers and said that the £32 was only for the ticket itself, but that she would still have to charge me a lottery tax and what she called a "shop charge", which brought the total up to £64. I was furious and said, "How can you scam people like that?? I am going home right now to write a letter to the National Lottery about this!".
>> No. 416953 Anonymous
12th April 2018
Thursday 1:28 pm
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I'm by no stretch of the imagination more than a 1.5 on the Kinsey scale Ok maybe a 2 on really good MDMA. but have been obsessed with Polari for years. I watched a good documentary about a radio comedy called "Julian and Sandy" which caused quite the furore in certain circles at the time.
>> No. 416954 Anonymous
12th April 2018
Thursday 6:47 pm
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I enjoyed your second dream, made me chuckle.
>> No. 417107 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 3:21 am
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Just woke up from a dream where the missus and I apparently had two kids, one was about four and the other seven. We'd just moved into a new house and we were all mucking about in the way that young families do. I felt indescribably happy and I honestly think I woke up because my conscious mind thought I had died or something. I'm feeling very odd about the whole thing, considering neither I nor the missus want kids at all. I've never felt so strongly in a dream though, or possibly in real life even. I'm rather shaken.

Maybe my biological clock has finally started ticking. Urgh.
>> No. 417670 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 8:30 am
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Peggy Mitchell was having a conversation with Rita from Coronation Street, bemoaning the death of the high street and how people shop differently these days. Peggy told Rita she could close her shop early that day.

I'd been busy rimming my friend's mum in her living room after I propositioned her during a lift home, but I spoiled it when I anally fisted her as she got really mad that it would make all of her organs fall out. I then went to do a shift in a restaurant and everyone was about to leave because Peggy Mitchell told them they should close early so I had to remind them that we had a table booked for later. I then had to be a waiter to one person in an otherwise dead restaurant.
>> No. 417682 Anonymous
28th May 2018
Monday 12:49 am
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I really enjoy the level of depravity that your subconscious mind ventured off to. Are you Clive?

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