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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
Expand all images.
>> No. 364301 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:12 pm
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I dreamed I was in bed with my ex only since we'd broken up she'd gone and had a ridiculous number of new piercings put in. Looked and felt like a pin cushion.
>> No. 364305 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:30 pm
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Please don't take this the wrong way as I'm not trying to be an arsey cunt or anything, but other people's dreams just bore the tits off me. As soon as someone starts talking about a dream they had I just glaze over and have to feign interest whilst thinking about something I find less banal like what's the best flavour of crisps or something.

Anyway as I say, not intentionally trying to be a knob. As you were.
>> No. 364306 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:31 pm
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>>364305
I'm the same. However, many people seem to take pleasure in it. Luckily this is the internet where we can both just ignore it.
>> No. 364308 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:33 pm
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>>364306
Or subtly try to derail the thread with crisp talk.

Sshhh
>> No. 364310 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:35 pm
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>>364308

The co-op own brand salt and vinegar (cider vinegar or something) are the best by far. They're a bit variable depending on where you are in the country but I've never had another brand out-do them.
>> No. 364311 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:37 pm
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>>364310
They are indeed pretty good. I had a pack of either them or Tyrells salt and cider vinegar ones the other day and they were potent. There was a veritable bounty of salt/vinegar/crisp dust at the bottom of the pack that I poured into my gaping maw. I don't regret a thing.
>> No. 364314 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:49 pm
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>>364311
The bits in the bottom of a bag of Discos used to be a heady mix, I would actually get a tingly sensation in my mouth when hoovering them up. Must have had some chemical in them that has since been removed because they aren't the same any more.
>> No. 364315 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 5:53 pm
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>>364314

Alas, they are all shit now as they have significantly changed the recipes across all of the brands so they no longer resemble what they once were.
>> No. 364318 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 6:23 pm
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I had a dream where I was in a igloo. A wedding was being held inside the igloo, and then suddenly, everyone stood up and the national anthem started blaring out of the speakers.
>> No. 364321 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 6:28 pm
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Have you lads tried those Warburtons pitta bread crisps? They're quite nice.
>> No. 364322 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 6:28 pm
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>>364321
Not yet, but I'll add them to my internal list of things to try.
>> No. 364331 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 7:27 pm
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The Foster's advert where one of them is at a party in France doesn't make sense, because it's daytime in both places.
>> No. 364333 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 7:31 pm
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>>364331
It was my favourite. Why did you ruin it for me? Sigh.
>> No. 364334 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 7:33 pm
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>>364331

No, that's fine. Having lived in Oz I would always be chatting to people in the UK during daylight hours. It just means they started drinking at breakfast in Oz.
>> No. 364340 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 8:15 pm
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Can we all agree that Fosters is a terrible terrible beer?
>> No. 364341 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 8:16 pm
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>>364340
Absolutely disgusting.
>> No. 364342 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 8:17 pm
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>>364340

Former Ozzielivinglad here. Fosters does not exist in Australia. Nowhere. And dear fucking merciful Christ, if the Ozzies think a beer tastes like watered down piss you know you've hit something.

I drank VB. At least it had tastes. Even though the taste was of horse piss, it had taste.
>> No. 364355 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 8:44 pm
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>>364342

I quite like horse piss, actually.

Musky.
>> No. 364359 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 8:59 pm
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>>364355

Watered down horse piss? Because that is what you will find in Oz. The fact that Fosters is even more watered down, well...I will leave you to form your own conclusions.
>> No. 364364 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 9:24 pm
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>>364342

>Former Ozzielivinglad here. Fosters does not exist in Australia. Nowhere. And dear fucking merciful Christ, if the Ozzies think a beer tastes like watered down piss you know you've hit something.

so you're saying they are shipping it all out of their country because they know no Ozzie will drink it?
>> No. 364365 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 9:25 pm
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>>364364

Worse. It is only brewed in Liverpool.
>> No. 364375 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 1:36 am
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>>364310
Cider vinegar. Cider vinegar? If it weren't for your good taste I'd think you an oaf of the highest calibre. >>/nom/8323

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ur4XJCm3deQ

>>364314
The Holy Grail of bottom-of-the-bag crisp experiences is to be found with pickled onion Monster Munch, but only very, very rarely when you encounter what I can only assume is concentrated flavouring that never got properly mixed with crisp.
>> No. 364381 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 7:33 am
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I'd step over me own mum for the last packet of those beetroot, parsnip & carrot crisps Tyrells do. Proper tasty.
>> No. 364385 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 12:12 pm
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>>364381
>beetroot, parsnip & carrot crisps Tyrells do

This might be the most bourgeois comment this site has ever seen. Posho!
>> No. 364386 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 12:38 pm
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Today I'm eating these for breakfast. They're incredibly garlicky and cost me about 89p from Aldi. I recommend any lover of garlic to try them; you won't be disappointed.

I'm still on the fence as to what the best kind of salt and vinegar crisp available in Britain is. The Co-Op ones mentioned earlier can indeed be incredibly delicious, but I find their batches a little hit and miss. Sometimes they're amazing, sometimes they're not. McCoys are alright in a pinch, but the vinegar isn't nearly sharp enough. There is a brand of crisp that has rather traditional looking packaging and is fairly cheap but seems to be better-known, and they produce some of the best crisps I've ever tasted. Sarson's or something like that. I think their packaging is striped.
>> No. 364387 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 12:41 pm
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>>364386
Seabrook! They're make in Yorkshire, apparently, which is good. As I recall they were seriously delicious. I've been apparently enjoying eating things from Yorkshire a lot recently which is my way of gloating that my new squeeze is from Scarborough.
>> No. 364388 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 12:43 pm
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>>364386

You fucking legend, I have been trying to remember what these are called ofr fucking ages! The missus will love you tingiht.
>> No. 364389 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 12:46 pm
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>>364385

Lidl sell those too. Surprisingly tasty. Their own brand crisps are actually very high quality. Don't know who is making them in the UK, but it's obviously one of the better manufacturers because they're a higher standard than the majority and the main brands (walkers, GW, etc.).
>> No. 364390 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 1:05 pm
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Best crisps. Ever.
>> No. 364391 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 1:08 pm
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>>364390
What are hand-made crisps? Does it just mean they are peeled and sliced by hand?
>> No. 364392 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 1:14 pm
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>>364391
I think it means they're fried in a large kettle or pan rather than by an automated machine like Walkers do.

>>364388
You are most certainly welcome, sir. I might go buy some Seabrook crisps later. Or these, >>364390, if I can find them. I feel like wooing my new missus with my newfound love of all things Yorkshire.
>> No. 364393 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 1:17 pm
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>>364392
Sam Smiths. Lovely beer.
>> No. 364398 Anonymous
15th November 2013
Friday 2:50 pm
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>>364393

Oh aye.

Been a while since I've had any, but I may plan a trip up to Taddy soon. Fresh from't brewery, it's lovely.
>> No. 364482 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 11:13 am
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>>364398
Ever tried the porter? A glorious beer!
>> No. 364483 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 11:48 am
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I'm drinking bottles of Bank's at the moment, 99p from Aldi but very nice.
>> No. 364484 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 1:14 pm
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>>364483
>bottles of Bank's at the moment, 99p from Aldi

You, sir, are disgusting.


I've taken a liking towards Stella Artois lately. Not the best beer in the world, but surely better than any of the cheap glug that Aldi or Lidl have on offer.
>> No. 364485 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 1:22 pm
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>>364484
You can actually get some decent ales at lidl sometimes. Bishops Finger and stuff. Stella is pretty bog standard lager really.
>> No. 364486 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 1:23 pm
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>>364484
Bollocks.

Lidl have Jenning's bitter and sometimes Cocker Hoop at 99p a bottle. And Stella is fizzy piss wherever you buy iy.
>> No. 364487 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 1:25 pm
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99p for a bottle isn't even cheap...
>> No. 364488 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 2:01 pm
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>>364331
It's a timephone. It lets you talk through time.
>> No. 364490 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 2:42 pm
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>>364487
It is in London.
>> No. 364491 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 3:40 pm
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>>364487 It is for ales. Obviously you can get 8 cans of Carslberg for a fiver, but it's hardly the same lad.
>> No. 364493 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 4:35 pm
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>>364487

A bottle of ale usually costs £1.50 - £2 in the big supermarkets, sometimes on a 4 for £5 promotion. 99p is a really good price.
>> No. 364507 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:02 pm
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>>364491
I know it is for ales, but this is Aldi ale

Anyway, Sainsburys were doing Spitfire for £1 a bottle recently.
>> No. 364510 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:20 pm
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>>364482

Yorkshire Stingo for Christmas please, Santa.

Proper bottle size for proper (Yorkshire) beer.
>> No. 364511 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:24 pm
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>>I'm drinking bottles of Bank's at the moment, 99p from Aldi but very nice.

Pound in Tesco. Tastes like used washing up water. Get some Fullers 1845 in ya belly, shitbeerlad.
>> No. 364513 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:28 pm
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>>364507
I don't much like Spitfire at all. I find it very uninteresting.

My personal favourite beer you can readily find in the shops is Timothy Taylor's Landlord, if you can find it.
>> No. 364514 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:32 pm
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>>364511
Fuller's IPA is very good (though not particularly cheap).

I also recommend London Fields' Black Path Porter, mostly for the description: "Our Braumaster likes to think he has heard whispers from the ancient Porters who travelled this route. He swears they spoke of a malty black brew, full of coffee and chocolate flavours that warmed the cockles after the long journey."
>> No. 364515 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 7:58 pm
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>>364514

Sounds like a pozzing to me.
>> No. 364516 Anonymous
16th November 2013
Saturday 8:08 pm
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>>"Our Braumaster likes to think he has heard whispers from the ancient Porters who travelled this route. He swears they spoke of a malty black brew, full of coffee and chocolate flavours that warmed the cockles after the long journey."

What a crock. Porter beer originated in London. Porters and stouts were the drink of the day in the 18th century. The darkness of the beer helped to disguise cloudiness, especially in the absence of finings. If you're after a proper porter, beerlad, I suggest Elland's 1872 Porter (Champion beer of Britain 2013, brewed in properbeerland, Yorkshire) or Fuller's London Porter. I use Ratebeer to check beer advocacy, any beer over 80 is worthy and anything under 40 is piss.
>> No. 364528 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 4:50 pm
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File
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Dreamt I was in Greggs looking for food, but all the steak bakes had been sent to are boys overseas.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 364529 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 4:56 pm
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>>364528

He's a happy looking chap, who I imagine would be helpful and kind. Why do you teenlads keep insisting on shitting threads like this. Get yourself a girlfriend mate.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 364548 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:04 pm
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I dreamed that I was still with my ex and not a pathetic lonely cunt. Woke up crying.
>> No. 364551 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:27 pm
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>>364548

Look on the bright side lad, at least you've got the bed all to yourself now.
>> No. 364553 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:36 pm
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I had a dream last night that Dr. Dre and Method Man were having lunch in my restaurant. Dre ordered two creme brûlées for himself, which was remarked upon in the dream as being a pretty gangster move.
>> No. 364554 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:39 pm
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>>364553
But, what would Biggie do?
>> No. 364555 Anonymous
17th November 2013
Sunday 11:47 pm
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>>364553
That would make such a great short film.
>> No. 364563 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 2:27 am
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Can any of you cunts actually taste the cider in your poncy cider vinegar and fucking 28-month aged smoked pink Neodymium organic salt crisps? Buy some fucking Discos.
>> No. 364564 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 2:41 am
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>>364563
Aldis do fantastic own brand kettle chip knock offs.
>> No. 364571 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 6:47 am
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>>364298
As an Australian, these ads offend me.
>> No. 364576 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 10:56 am
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>>364563

Discos are rank nowadays, they changed the recipe and it ruined them.

Past a certain age, even Monster Munch start to evoke existential breakdowns. Thankfully, I haven't gotten there yet, but who are you you to judge?

You're the pretentious one in this situation, go back to your copy of the Morning Star and leave us to our Kettle Chips.
>> No. 364589 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 3:50 pm
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On Saturday night I dreamt that I had the Only Fools and Horses logo tattooed on my arm. I remember showing it to my family and friends, they all laughed at me, but I was dead chuffed with it.

I later woke up in a cold sweat, switched the light on in a mad panic to check both my arms. It was scary, lads.
>> No. 364591 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 4:19 pm
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>>364589
Did your dream family and friends call you a plonker?
>> No. 364598 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 6:02 pm
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I had a dream about dragons. They were nice and they let me ride them.
>> No. 364604 Anonymous
18th November 2013
Monday 6:12 pm
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>>364598

>They were nice and they let me ride them.

I bet they did you dirty little blighter!
>> No. 364625 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 12:20 pm
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I dreamed last night that I had just turned fourty. In my dream, I was feeling distraught and kept thinking that I was now really old.

Sadly, this wasn't really simply a bad dream. I will in fact be fourty at the end of next year.
>> No. 364626 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 12:29 pm
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>>364625
That does indeed sound scary.

I could probably relate more easily and offer advice were you turning forty, which happens to nearly all of us eventually.
>> No. 364627 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 1:40 pm
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>>364625
Since I turned forty I have been increasingly distraught and realising I am now really old. Not much help, I know.
>> No. 364629 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 2:08 pm
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>>364625
Thirty nine years old and you still can't spell forty. Get to the clinic, grandad.
>> No. 364630 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 2:10 pm
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I am in my early thirties and all I do is play video games and get stoned.
I sometimes think I'm wasting my life.
>> No. 364631 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 2:34 pm
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>>364627

I quite like that we have forties and up in here. It raises the tone of the place.
>> No. 364632 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 5:34 pm
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>>364629

>Thirty nine years old and you still can't spell forty.

...said the pot calling the kettle black.

What did we all learn in school, mate? Riiiight... numbers between 21 and 99 are hyphenated when spelled out. Good boy...
>> No. 364633 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 5:38 pm
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>>364632

There's also a space before the first period of an ellipsis.
>> No. 364634 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 5:41 pm
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>>364632

I never learned that.
>> No. 364635 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 6:29 pm
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>>364633

Disgusting.
>> No. 364636 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 6:48 pm
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>>364633
Debatable.
>> No. 364637 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 6:50 pm
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>>364636
So's gravity.
>> No. 364638 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 7:27 pm
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>>364632

Nope. You've failed today. It's your round next. The standard forfeit.
>> No. 364639 Anonymous
19th November 2013
Tuesday 7:33 pm
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>>364632
If you're going to play grammar Nazi at least fucking capitalise your lettering correctly, Christ.
>> No. 364640 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 3:54 pm
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There is always a ladder in my dreams.
>> No. 364641 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 4:04 pm
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>>364640
The ground always swallows me in mine.
>> No. 364642 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 4:27 pm
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I've had some fairly vivid dreams the last few weeks however I can never remember them.

I can sort of remember the one I had last night. Something happened to the world, kind of like Ghostbusters when all the ghosts were set free except it turned the world into the beginning of a quarantine zone and it's a lot more gory. What was set free was monsters and zombies. For whatever reason I (I'm not even sure if it is me as I kept switching from third or first person point of views) went to this crumbling American apartment building. It was like a support group/cult where you can turn into a monster of sorts but still retain a human mind and people won't immediately try to kill you or run away.

I went through some sort of training montage which looked like a music video for some death metal song except with the music and if I remember correctly some sort of monologue. My face then looked like a steak that had been hit by a mallet several times.

I went to some building (it was like an expo centre) later and like how a movie would attempt to look like a video game (kind of like that Scott Pilgrim movie) there was a huge bunch of letters in the air saying I should gain access to this building. Because I was now some sort of monster I had no chance of getting passed the bouncer so I jumped very high onto the balcony of the second floor.

I made my way through and saw a stall with a woman with snow white features except her hair was in a bun. I went to the stall and gave her a VHS tape. I think I said something but I can't remember. She played the tape in the CRT TV/Video combo TV at her stall and watched. Something apparently was terrible on it as it changed her appearances and she drooped down in fear and eventually just laid down on a sofa and became unresponsive. Her hair no longer in a bun and her pale skin discoloured.

Then some guy came along. He had a beard and a sharp face. I think I said "this is what they did to me". This other guy said "well....In the CIA you get all sorts of scars". Then I woke up.

Fairly odd dream. I have been lately getting a recurring dream where I'd be friends with someone I knew 10 years ago. I had ditched them because I really hated them and saw nothing good with hanging out with them as they seemed to siphon away any confidence I had and I'm a lot better without them. He was a complete cunt so I have no intention of speaking to him again.
>> No. 364643 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 5:14 pm
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In last nights dream, I shagged a girl I've known online for 13 years despite having never met in real life.

It's left me feeling quite confused.
>> No. 364656 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 11:50 pm
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I had a dream several months ago wherein Tyrion Lannister held a knife to my throat and whispered "Glory to Arstotzka".

I genuinely do not know what to make of this.
>> No. 364657 Anonymous
20th November 2013
Wednesday 11:57 pm
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I once had a dream that I beat seven bells of shit out of The Janitor from Scrubs outside one of the lecture theatres at uni as all my classmates just wandered past as though nowt was happening. I mean I kicked the fuck out of him near to death, his face was a mess by the end of it and he was clinging onto a bannister for dear life while I booted him.

I was distraught all day. I fucking love that guy.
>> No. 364658 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 12:34 am
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Sometimes I have dreams about what informs my anxiety and they're realistic to the point that I have recollections of things that happened in anxious dreams that I sometimes believe have come to pass in real life. For example, when I have a job interview in a week, I usually have a really fucked up dream (or dreams) about it in the days running up to it. This is pretty common, I think? Right now I keep getting recurring dreams of finding evidence that my ex is shagging some scumbag she's been involved with in the past. My constant fear is that the dreams turn out to be prophetic or psychic in some way; having heard about the way those two are apparently sniffing round each other like flies on shit, my anxious dream-brain is probably right in reality. Eh.
>> No. 364659 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 12:42 am
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>>364658

I get these unsettling dreams sometimes too. They seem to play on your true anxieties so well as to be utter cruelty. But I have the opposite reaction to you, I normally wake with this sensation of amazingly sweet relief; "thank God that hasn't actually happened."

Maybe not useful to you, but I thought I'd mention.
>> No. 364660 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 12:54 am
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>>364659
That's a nice idea, but my anxieties are usually based on things I can't actually know about; that is to say, what could happen or what might've happened without me knowing about it. This is the same sort of thought process that informs my OCD; ever gone back to check on the front door to be sure you've locked it? It's like that. You mentally pick at the scab over and over and can't stop yourself from going back and making it bleed. Perversely I've actually seemed to have gotten a lot better at curtailing my anxieties and obsessive thought patterns when awake through a combination of medication, meditation and willpower - but now it seems they're coming out in my dreams instead.

Oh well, 2/3 ain't bad.
>> No. 364662 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 2:32 am
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I'm always eating lunch with old friends in my dreams of late. It's no substitute and I'm beginning to miss the dreams I used to have where the world would flip on a 45 degree angle and I'd slide around until I hit a wall and woke up.

>>364656

Tyrion confirmed for launching a coup de proletariat in season 4.
>> No. 364663 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 2:17 pm
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I sometimes dream that I am one of a handful of survivors of a nuclear war that has laid the world to ashes.

Quite eerie dreams they are indeed. Wonder why I keep having them.
>> No. 364664 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 2:35 pm
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>>364663

Sweet dreams.

http://www.youtube.com/v/_MCbTvoNrAg
>> No. 364665 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 3:00 pm
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>>364664

Ah, 1980s limited-budget special effects...

wonder what "Threads" would look like if it was (re-)done by today's Dr. Who CGI effects team...
>> No. 364666 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 3:04 pm
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>>364665
They'd just blast Sheffield with the sonic screwdriver and it'd be back to it's old shitty self.
>> No. 364667 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 3:21 pm
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I had a dream when I was still in primary school about my school being bombarded by giant columns of hot gas coming from the sun. Since then I've had a probably irrational anxiety about the finite lifetime of the solar system.
>> No. 364668 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 3:23 pm
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>>364666

I had a girlfriend once who lived just outside Sheffield. We met on the Internet. Every other week I would go up to Sheffield by train from Birmingham where I lived at the time.

Sheffield is indeed shitty. Even if you're used to Birmingham.

Oh yes and she dumped me eventually for a night club bouncer. Which I found equally shitty.
>> No. 364669 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 3:54 pm
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>>364668
> Sheffield is indeed shitty. Even if you're used to Birmingham.
Are you having a laugh? Sheffield is full of Oscar Wilde types in comparison to fucking Birmingham
Plus you have the shittest accent in the UK. Fact.
>> No. 364670 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 4:30 pm
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>>364669
>Sheffield is full of Oscar Wilde types in comparison to fucking Birmingham

I rest my case.
>> No. 364671 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 8:50 pm
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I had a dream where I was sitting in an interrogation room. The kind of rooms you find in cop shows, with the reflective glass/window on the wall, a lamp (although the lights in the room were on), and two chairs on either side of the small, slightly rectangular table. Everything was grey. I was wearing my finest grey suit, with dress shoes and cuff-links.

I placed my arms on the table while facing the reflective glass/window thing, when the door right next to it flung open. In came a man dressed in a suit with a red tie, holding a big binder full of papers. He slammed the binder on the table, and I almost jumped as I thought it would break the table. It looked immense and heavy. "Now then," he said, as he pressed some sort of button on his side of the table. Suddenly, the reflective window was no more. It was transparent. I could see my whole family members, friends and relatives, sitting on a bench staring at me through the window.

I was shocked, but then the man in front of me sat down and opened the binder. I couldn't make out what was written on the papers in the binder. I could see letters, words, but I could not make sense of anything. I didn't know what was happening, and I started to stare at the people I know behind the glass. They didn't say anything. They didn't do anything. "What did I do?" Crossed my mind.

The man took a deep breath and looked at me with what seemed like pity. He started, "We are here to disclose the kind of porn you watch. The kind of material you hide away. The things you watch that force you to clear your browser history after you are done. I must say, I had to google quite a few terms here. It is very intriguing." I suddenly realised what was happening. I started sweating and had a sick feeling in my stomach, but luckily I woke up to the cries of my cat. I usually leave my bedroom door open for the cat, but I didn't yesterday. I let him out, fed him and petted him like he was my saviour.

Maybe my cat is my saviour.
>> No. 364672 Anonymous
21st November 2013
Thursday 10:43 pm
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I had one last night that was a bit weird. The back story is that in real life I know this girl who I went to secondary school with. She is ugly and fat and stupid, but she likes me because I didn't bully her at school. Last year she kept flirting with me online, and when I tried to rebuff her by claiming homosexuality she said she could be the first female I could fuck to test if I really am a gay. I then told her I was the antichrist and that I was dangerous, in a last ditch attempt to get her to not want to have sex with me.

In the dream last night she broke into my bedroom. She kept talking to me about how she wanted to have my babies, but I was insistent about not wanting to fuck her because I don't want children right now. She threatened me with a knife until I yielded to her. She pinned me down and trapped my head in her armpit which smelled really bad and she forced me to lick her armpit while she wanked me off so she could get pregnant. After I came she said she was now pregnant with my child and she released her grasp on me, so I panicked and just kept kicking her until her fanny dribbled loads of thick gloopy blood and she was dead.

Upon waking up I realised that watching Eraserhead before going to sleep was ill advised.
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