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|>>|| No. 398779
We've had weekend threads, we've had middle of the week threads. What we haven't quite had is a thread where you can post what you have planned for the new week after a weekend.
So how about it. What have you lot got planned for this, the first full week of 2016?
I've still got time off till Wednesday morning, so I am just going to spend the coming two days enjoying a little bit of additional free time before things get serious again at work. And I might give my flat a good clean.
|>>|| No. 398780
First day back at work tomorrow, though to be fair I've been off for three weeks, and will be off for another two towards the end of the month, so I can't really complain.
|>>|| No. 398781
Going to phone an estate agents tomorrow about moving into a new flat. Ex-GF iscoming back on the scene and I don't know how I feel about it, to be honest.
|>>|| No. 398793
I had planned to spend my Christmas getting all sorts of work done but as the saying goes man plans and God laughs. So this week will be mostly catching up in a mad panic like I do about once a month because I never learn.
|>>|| No. 398795
Been back home for three weeks, returned to uni city yesterday. Spending today and tomorrow with my girlfriend, then rest of the week got essays/revision to do. Also applying for jobs, which is a depressing process. I worked at the same place for four years and quit last April, but I seem to be unemployable to every other retailer. But I'd be embarrassed to return to the old job with my tail between my legs, especially as I found out shortly after quitting that I was the subject of unpleasant rumours because I was an autistic weirdo.
|>>|| No. 398797
My ladyfriend is on the coach on her way to see me right now and we're going to have a week of debauchery. Gonna get fucked up, maybe get fucked. Soma and poetry... soma is poetry.
|>>|| No. 398798
Moving house on the 18th, 30th birthday on the 14th. Busy busy getting prepared.
|>>|| No. 398806
> What have you lot got planned for this, the first full week of 2016?
Rest. Someone mentioned the 'god laughs' part already; you get the idea.
Also some distant relative is about to kick the bucket. The not-so-distant ones over here are clamouring for whatever tiny bits of inheritance he might leave behind. It seems like a fine, two to three years lasting cunt-off is about to commence.
Mildly amusing situation.
|>>|| No. 398808
> It seems like a fine, two to three years lasting cunt-off is about to commence.
That is usually what happens. One of my mates still claims that his uncle cheated his side of the family out of their share of a two and a half million-pound estate of cash, houses and farm land when his granddad died. But the way I understood it, his uncle took good care of granddad for the last ten years of his life, so granddad showed his gratitude in leaving most of his estate to his other son.
I guess the lesson is, if you want to inherit a fortune, it can't be beneath you to wipe an old man's bum every day for ten years.
|>>|| No. 398809
My mother-in-law complains that her late father's new wife conned her and her siblings out of hundreds of thousands by only giving them a paltry amount when he passed away, something about a missing will but I switch off when it's brought up, and that everything else will go to the new wife's children when she snuffs it. She'll never do anything about it, though, other than grumble.
I do know someone Jewish so obsessed with the inheritance he's due from his elderly mother, which should be close to a million, that he tries to control her spending by moving her cash to online accounts where she'd have to go via him to access it and if she gives any money to his brothers then he expects his own share of the inheritance to be increased to reflect this.
|>>|| No. 398810
My family is Jewish and despite the half dozen or so deaths of well-off relatives during my lifetime I can't remember a single incident where anyone has quibbled about their inheritance. Respect your elder's: if they don't will it to you then they probably had a reason.
|>>|| No. 398812
Work, run, wildly apply for jobs in Hong Kong, do pull ups, and write a dissertation for someone.
|>>|| No. 398817
oh now there you go turning this thread into a petty cunt-off again.
Can you be absolutely sure that you won't be left out of somebody's will due to "petty cuntery"?
|>>|| No. 398818
It was my birthday, but when I was a refugee baby, the UN worker registered my birthday wrong. His 03/07 looked a lot like 03/01. And just like that, I became older.
My workmates brought me gifts, but my relatives will bring them in the summer, so I can't really complain.
|>>|| No. 398819
Have you not tried to have this administrative error corrected? Don't assume it's impossible.
|>>|| No. 398821
This week I will be doing little more than lots of goodbye lunches with people before leaving for my new life.
|>>|| No. 398822
That sounds nice, but with a tinge of sad. Mostly nice though. Bon voyage and all that - where are you off to?
|>>|| No. 398823
I've got tickets to India and enough money for about six months travel there and in other South Asian countries. After that I have the possibility of working for a mate in Malaysia, but nothing is set in stone.
|>>|| No. 398824
I really, really wanted it corrected when I was younger. But now, I don't think it even matters.
|>>|| No. 398826
At the risk of shitting up a perfectly good cunt-off, what exactly are you looking for?
|>>|| No. 398829
He might. That's one additional amusing thing about it: he might pull through but the vultures are zeroing in already.
I think he won't though. He's addled, I suppose he had a silent stroke or two at one moment that weren't treated properly. Just like one of my grandfathers. End of the line.
Thank god I'm disinherited then.
Fuck this shit. I'm drinking a particularly good cup of coffee. Your good health, lads. And may we die the way we want to die.
|>>|| No. 398831
I'm fucking lying in bed with a flu, because quite likely the girlfriend of one of my mates gave it to me at a new years party. She was just well enough again herself to attend the party, and then at midnight insisted on hugging me firmly when we were all wishing each other a happy new year.
Girlfriends always fuck up everything.
|>>|| No. 398832
Also, watching TV right now, this ad just really made me feel strangely uncomfortable:
|>>|| No. 398839
I handed in the forms to register at a new doctors today and they've booked me in for a check-up on Monday and gave me a 'universal container', which I'm assuming is for a urine sample. Are you meant to deposit piss when you change GP?
|>>|| No. 398857
Just make sure you do the right one lad. You've no idea how often people manage to shit in a urine pot and vice versa. It should fill you with a great deal of faith in your GP that these still get sent to the lab without anybody spotting the mistake sooner.
|>>|| No. 398858
Why judge his piss just because it's poor. Maybe it's the nicest piss you've ever met, and it just doesn't have a lot of money.
>You've no idea how often people manage to shit in a urine pot and vice versa.
I find that slightly difficult to believe.
|>>|| No. 398860
It's not entirely obvious, because most usually piss pots and poo pots aren't labelled. In many surgeries, the pots used will look the same to the untrained eye, and the label just has spaces for you to label them, unless they deign to mark it SPECIMEN CONTAINER or suchlike. What do you do with these containers? How do you tell the difference between a piss pot and a poo pot? How would you identify one if you're only given one? The poo pot has a spoon in it.
|>>|| No. 398864
Nope, definitely the other way round. One 'Spoons two pots. At least, that's what I filled last time I ate at one.
|>>|| No. 398865
You see the red and blue tops? It's literally that simple. The white ones are the "universal" containers but you'd only get those for a piss or poo if it was a specialist test.
|>>|| No. 398866
No, it's only that simple if you already know the system, assuming that's the system your practice uses.
|>>|| No. 398867
>You see the red and blue tops? It's literally that simple.
I don't think that makes it immediately obvious what goes in what.
They should have made the lids brown and yellow. Then they would be beyond argument.
|>>|| No. 398872
i didn't mean it makes it obvious to the patient, I meant it should be obvious to the doctor when their patient hands it in. Your lives in their hands folks.
|>>|| No. 398873
>I meant it should be obvious to the doctor when their patient hands it in.
You think a doctor isn't capable of telling piss from poo, but for different coloured caps on the container?
|>>|| No. 398876
Exactly. How much simpler could we make it for them?
I mean, they literally manage to write the form out and send it for a faeces microscopy, culture and sensitivity test, despite the fact the pot is clearly full of piss.
I don't claim to understand, I am just assuring you that it indeed happens.
|>>|| No. 398879
I guess I've got no way of disproving you, I just find it bewildering that a doctor who is licenced in this country would actually commit the oversight of mislabelling a piss sample as poo.
|>>|| No. 398881
You haven't worked with many doctors, have you? I can't count the number of them I've encountered who are functionally retarded in so many ways despite clinical aptitude.
|>>|| No. 398887
Not that poster, but I work with doctors, and it's really just extensive training that distinguishes them. They're still capable of a severe lack of sense in other areas, but most will have some sort of aptitude that led them to that training, and generally doctors collectively form quite a conscientious group when you put them together. Otherwise, yes, they are just human beings.
What's interesting is how character is reflected in specialisation. The stereotype of surgeons being egotistical has some truth to it, and for good reason; it takes confidence to routinely cut into human bodies even with years of training. Typically, the more difficult the surgical specialisation the bigger the personalities you meet (for better or worse).
Probably the most interesting inner faction I've come across within the medical profession is the anaesthetists. Playing several important roles around surgery (patient prep, stabilisation when things go wrong, pain management, etc.) but not directly performing surgery gives them a kind of cool observer's perspective on really complex operations, and anecdotally, this seems to lead them to take a greater interest in research, teaching, and administration of whole surgical units.
Sage for what are probably quite banal statements.
|>>|| No. 398888
Yes, clearly they're filling out the form for a battery of poo tests with a pot of piss in front of them. They're obviously not filling in the form when they hand out the pot.
|>>|| No. 398893
>The stereotype of surgeons being egotistical has some truth to it, and for good reason; it takes confidence to routinely cut into human bodies even with years of training.
IIRC, a doctor once said on TV that a surgeon's training is just an extra two years of education, which really doesn't build on a lot of prior medical knowledge at all. He was almost embarrassed to admit it, but said that probably a number of people smart enough could pass without having completed a standard degree in drugs first.
One of my mates at uni was studying drugs, and his aspiration was indeed to become a surgeon (not quite sure how that actually turned out for him as we lost contact a few years ago). What I do know is that he was a bit on the ego trip, narcissistic side personality wise. Oh, and his dream was to own a V12 Jaguar once he'd be a successful practicing surgeon.
|>>|| No. 398897
You'd be horrified how many empty sample pots get sent in then.
Not to mention the ones that don't get done because they left out some trivial information like, say, the patient's fucking name.
Face it lads, when you're a GP at some hole of a clinic, with failed ambitions of post doctorate research work and what have you, dealing with dozens of patients on a daily basis, you're going to be a feckless wanker at least some of the time.
|>>|| No. 398898
>You'd be horrified how many empty sample pots get sent in then.
>Not to mention the ones that don't get done because they left out some trivial information like, say, the patient's fucking name.
I'm sure a lot of problems are caused by the old stereotype of Doctors handwriting too.
|>>|| No. 398899
Less than you would think actually, the staff mostly get used to it and in general there's only certain key phrases to pick up on, besides the majority of bookings are electronic now. Worst case scenario is we have to ring them and ask what the fuck it was supposed to say. The stereotype itself is painfully true though.
|>>|| No. 398902
>Worst case scenario is we have to ring them and ask what the fuck it was supposed to say.
Let's hope you will always think to do that, especially when you mistake one medication for another based on poor handwriting.
|>>|| No. 398903
> One of my mates at uni was studying drugs
To be fair isn't that what everyone does at uni?
|>>|| No. 398905
>To be fair isn't that what everyone does at uni?
Like you, I was unaware of the genuinely hilarious joke that has been put in place here for the subject that people study at uni to become doctors. You know what I mean.
you get banned on here for attempting to circumvent or outwit the genuinely hilarious jokes, so let's just leave it at that
|>>|| No. 398935
Going to Strasbourg on Tuesday for two days on a business trip. My boss wants me there with him to help him with some negotiations with a potential new client.
Any tips on what to do around Strasbourg after a long day's work?
|>>|| No. 398936
Girlfriend wants to move to Moldova to do some volunteer work for a year. It's a scary thought, as all I think about the country is that of an unrelenting shit hole far worse than the UK can offer.
I'm trying to be supportive and helpful, but I just don't have it in me.
|>>|| No. 398937
I had a bit of a weird job interview on Friday. I'd had the proper interview with the office manager last week, been told they thought I was superb and would be a great fit in their company and this was just a brief meeting with the MD so he could see what I'm like before making a decision on offering me the job. He must be juicing or something because his pecs were absolutely ridiculous and they stuck out so far from the rest of his body. I'm sure he wore a tight fitting shirt on purpose, but I spent most of the meeting just staring at his huge muscular tits.
|>>|| No. 398941
You were holding your phone upside down when you took the picture. Your phone tagged the photo with the correct orientation in the EXIF data, so web browsers can display it the right way round. The script used to generate thumbnails can't read this data, so the thumbnail is upside down.
|>>|| No. 398942
Last time I explained that, the photo was of some bird's badly shaved gash. Block paving is a blessed relief.
|>>|| No. 398962
You remind me of myself a couple of years ago. Thinking I understood them, or their rules.
Everyone learns sooner or later.
|>>|| No. 398968
In relation to the block paving, I think that's a beautiful level.
|>>|| No. 398969
I'm a bit worried, lads. I'm in the waiting room and there's a wee sample behind reception and it's in a different shaped tube with a different coloured lid. Maybe I wasn't meant to piss in it.
|>>|| No. 398970
Maybe it was for a sputum sample.
Here's hoping it will dawn on them that you pissed in it, and that they will not call you back for additional tests because your sputum was worryingly yellow and watery.
|>>|| No. 398972
It was my wee, or 'ureene' as the nurse kept calling it, they were after.
Not really sure what the point in that checkup was, as just about everything they asked or tested was on the form when I signed up anyway.
|>>|| No. 398974
>"This mad bastard's only gone and pissed in the spit cup. Yeah, he's definitely a wrong'un, I'm calling social services now, yes."
|>>|| No. 398977
Kicked off the week by donating blood for the first time in a year and a half. Unwisely followed it up with a double Whopper. Hopefully I won't spend this evening vomiting my guts out.
|>>|| No. 398979
I once donated blood in uni after pulling an all nighter for an assignment. I am quite a thick person, really.
|>>|| No. 399002
Interview, exams next two weeks, then two more interviews. It doesn't fucking stop.
|>>|| No. 399010
I never watch them, but every time this Kunt's videos are posted on here I die a little inside. I don't understand what kind of infantile teenlad could possibly browse .gs while finding this low-brow shite amusing. He's like the kid at school who used to ask you what's funnier than ten dead babies in a bin.
|>>|| No. 399013
You're missing out, I've been to see him live 3 times and I count them amongst the best gigs I've ever seen.
|>>|| No. 399014
This place has a very puerile taste in music - Kunt, Cosmo Jarvis, Die Antwoord, that shit song about cups of tea, GLC, etc.
|>>|| No. 399015
I would say that it is a very British thing to take our puerility in large infrequent doses.
Americans do the opposite, Kunt and the gang is a bit too intense for them, so instead their doses of puerility get drawn out over a long period, hence Family Guy exists.
|>>|| No. 399017
I'm starting to get tired, recently, of how often we, as a nation, describe things as "Oh that's very British you know..." and "Oh there's something so British about that..." etc.
It's not that I'm not proud of our eccentricities, it just seems like we can't shut the fuck up about it. Almost as if we're collectively compensating for something. I mean, do the French do it? What about Greeks? Armenians? Who else is so obsessed with their national self image?
|>>|| No. 399018
>I don't understand what kind of infantile teenlad could possibly browse .gs while finding this low-brow shite amusing
Maybe you're just a grumpy twat who is trying too hard to fit into the "grumpy twat who tries too hard" role that you perceive .gs to require. Little do you know, you're trying too hard. We only pretend to be grumpy twats whilst enjoying heavy doses of retardation. This isn't the bastion of grown-uppery you want it to be, you boring fucking dickhead wally.
|>>|| No. 399019
>do the French do it?
Yes. They are infatuated with the concept of national identity and bicker endlessly about what is or isn't truly French.
See these guys? They're members of the Académie française. They are tasked with defending the French language against improper usage. They carry swords.
The French love to indulge in all the traditional pastimes of the petty nationalist - moaning about foreign food, taking the piss out of teenagers pretending to be American, complaining about the number of foreign football players whilst trying to avoid sounding overtly crayfish. A few years ago, Sarkozy announced a dismal Cameronesque "debate about national identity".
|>>|| No. 399020
The girl I'm courting atm loves how 'British' I am, whenever I complain about some petty small thing in enormous detail.
She speaks 4 languages, has a Phd, and works for a major tech company. If I can somehow keep charming her, and make not notice she can do better by being 'British' I'm going to milk that for all it is worth.
|>>|| No. 399022
Puerile isn't the same as mindless. Most of our greatest comedy minds have had a strong streak of vulgarity - Python, The Goons, Chris Morris etc. Going back further you have the court jester and the village idiot. Buffoons have performed a vital social role for centuries, lampooning the pretensions of 'polite society'.
Kunt is the voice in your head that is usually silenced. He's the part of you that feels utterly lost in the adult world, the inner miscreant who wants to tit about on a BMX and shout "arseholes" in the middle of a funeral. He provides a common ground to share that inner experience and a safety valve for our baser impulses. In the opinion of this armchair comedy theorist, that is the highest sort of humour.
|>>|| No. 399041
The bloke second from the right, the one whose gaze is boring directly into that bird's head, looks like a British mole to me. Working undercover, sneaking in all kinds of guerrilla "les weekends" and "le eurotunnel" into classic works of froggy literature like the one what Victor Hugo wrote and that.
|>>|| No. 399046
I think Kunt is pretty mindless to be honest. Every day he must say to himself 'Today will I write a song about wanking or paedos? Oh I know I'll do one about periods. Or maybe even having SEX on your period, yeah! I am a genius.'
There's no shock value and there's no wit so I'm not sure what there's supposed to be left to laugh at. My despair has sunk to even lower depths now you've somehow managed to compare him to Python and Morris. I really must be out on a limb here.
|>>|| No. 399102
Jesus, lads. I was just making a vaguely humorous post about my current situation.
|>>|| No. 399103
I think a lot of humour is about being able to read the comedian's intentions. It's evident that his work isn't about being a genius nor writing for shock value. In fact the appeal is more the opposite: it's about being puerile, self-deprecating, and self-consciously setting the bar low. It's so disappointingly silly that you can't help but laugh at his weird, insular world where just about everything can be seen through the lens of sex and toilet humour.
I will say you're right in that he's not from the same family of Python or Morris, but I agree with the other poster that puerility played a role (albeit a smaller one) in their comedy, too. If I had to draw that sort of comparison, I'd say Kunt is more like a real life Viz cartoon, but without the hatefulness toward specific social groups.
|>>|| No. 399104
There's a bit of self awareness to it, hence songls like "I Think I'm Turning Middle Class". Good job you mentioned Viz though, as that's about the closest comparison I can make in terms of humour too.
We could also be overthinking it; given the sheer crudeness of some of his material I think it's mostly a case of "I really shouldn't find this as funny as I do, but then that's exactly why I do."
|>>|| No. 399182
I've spent much of my time at work since Monday morning trying to make sense of several e-mails that we received from a company in China which will supply certain parts and components for our products in the near future.
How could they hire a "representative, international sales" if he's got such mediocre English skills? He's got a basic knowledge of the English language, but his usage of words is almost like one of those poorly translated instruction manuals. And he's making me feel bad for having to ask for clarification over and over again.
|>>|| No. 399183
This is what I've done so far this week. Someone give me their honest opinion of this corner detail. I did it completely by eye and dead reckoning.
|>>|| No. 399187
I am sure they are; but what's been driving me nuts is sentences in their e-mails like "The [component A] is the 30 percent less previous power consumption of the [component B]".
Yes, it's not gruelling hard work to infer from it that the new component A uses 30 percent less power than the previous, old component B. But a sentence structure and usage of words that just goes off the deep end somewhere is simply not something that makes your company look professional in the eyes of your customers. If you want to sell your stuff internationally, you should make damn sure that your "international sales" people are up to the task.
|>>|| No. 399188
I don't get you. Neither does the gentleman that banned you.
I don't think so. You can see by the EXIF data that I took this picture a couple of days ago.
I need a better version of the pic posted here. Even if I say so myself, that serpentine flower bed is quite artistic.
|>>|| No. 399189
China just doesn't have enough teachers. You can teach engineering to a seminar of 200, but effective language teaching requires very small class sizes. They're slowly catching up, but it'll take decades for them to train enough English teachers. That improvement in English proficiency will take years to spread out into the business world.
|>>|| No. 399190
I know fuck all about patios or bricklaying, but I think it looks rather pretty. So does the cornice you posted up there.
|>>|| No. 399192
Because this is a high pressure job and I don't really have the luxury to check the picture I've just taken at that time. Also it was sunset in those pictures and camera phones aren't the best in those conditions.
Here is my lorry in daylight for comparison.
|>>|| No. 399201
I've got the flu lads. My god I feel fucking awful. Now I understand why people take the piss out of those who claim their cold is the flu.
What kind of virus gives you lower back pain? It's making me feel like a middle-aged man.
|>>|| No. 399206
Just to warn you, at one point you may start to see why people can die from flu and start to think you will succumb to the Grim Reaper's clammy grasp yourself. You won't die, but you'll feel like this for the next 48 hours before you start to get better.
|>>|| No. 399209
Last night I was saying 'help me, help me' to no-one in particular as I tossed and turned I'm my bed.
Ibuprofen seems to upgrade my condition from bedridden to able to look after myself.
|>>|| No. 399256
Got the nibbles in. Couple of nice reds, vegetable crisps, 12 mini cheese selection, ploughman Scotch eggs, cheesy bites and these random Filipino snacks that look like aborted Doritos but are actually very moreish.
|>>|| No. 399257
Is the weekday thread the new weekend thread? Because I'm glad to be rid of that monkey.
This weekend I will be mostly searching for accommodation in London, breaking in new shoes, and deadlifting.
|>>|| No. 399267
My other half is thinking of becoming an Avon lady while she is on maternity. Isn't it some form of pyramid scheme?
|>>|| No. 399268
No, not really. You apply directly to Avon, everyone is equal. It's commission based though, so she'll need to get reliable repeat business if she wants to make any money beyond pocket money though. They have a huge turnover of sales people, so people tend to only buy once and then never follow it up assuming they'll quit.
Friends are probably not your best demo, even though you might think they'd be soft marks. They'll fuck you about for money. Regardless, make sure she isn't messed about. Help go round and collect, etc. No goods without payment.
|>>|| No. 399273
Small Soldiers is on ITV2, am I alright to check out Kirsten Dunst in it or is this heading into Jim'll territory? She was about 14/15 when they filmed it.
|>>|| No. 399274
I need a humour transplant!
I've considered your case and I'm afraid to say yes, that would indeed be noncery.
Good film though, you nonce.
|>>|| No. 399275
Tut, the first time I go in for a windy noise and it's been filtered.
Woe am I, I am, am I? Is me, yay.
|>>|| No. 399281
Not worthy of a new thread so I guess I'll post this here - what would be the best time to go to hospital? I think I've fractured a finger and couldn't be bothered to go yesterday.
|>>|| No. 399282
Not 5am on a Saturday night / Sunday morning; they'll either think you're nuts or a drunk. Just go in tomorrow (Sunday) at a decent time in the morning and when the mad Saturday night rush is over.
|>>|| No. 399304
Lol yeah he was feeling it from last night when we all went out.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 399366
She aged perfectly average...ly. She looks her age and is still quite attractive. For every genetically blessed Hollywood Starlet you can name, I could show you 5 Kirsten Dunsts. 10, even.
|>>|| No. 399368
Not really. She aged terribly. She already is all wrinkled up. Don't let your cock do the thinking for you.
|>>|| No. 399372
>>399363the grass was in the back garden.
You lay a driveway by first digging out then putting type 2 oversize hard-core and tracking over it with the digger. On top of this goes type 1 hard-core and again tracking it. Then you fix the level and compact it using a "wacker" plate. After this we may a weed control membrane with sand on top of that which is again wacker plated and then it is screeded to make the level.good. Then goes the bricks! Hope that helps.
|>>|| No. 399373
Oh, sorry. You then need to brush in joint filling sand then wacker the blocks and then brush sand again. If you don't do this everything will shift and move.
|>>|| No. 399376
Recently on .gs:
Drivewayman redoes his driveway, upside down thumbnails and all. Phil Collins takes over as Britain's number-one geriatric pop star for the final five years until his scheduled death. Britney Spears persuades sufferers of thinning hair to go Kojak. Germans wear feathers and war paint when they come to invade other countries. Telescopic umbrellas lead to people dicking around. A degree in English lit a salary of 40K doth not fetch.
|>>|| No. 399391
On Wednesday evening I had someone knock at my door from Cancer Research, after money, and I've just had him back at my door tonight, after money for Water Aid. It wouldn't surprise me if he tried yesterday for a different charity while I was out. I'm assuming that a genuine charity collector wouldn't try the same houses in such a short period of time if they're on commission.
|>>|| No. 399393
They don't get a choice. They get told where to go and they have a supervisor making checks on them so they don't even get the paltry basic wage is they haven't knocked on all the doors they are meant to.
Source: Had loads of mates do that sort of thing as an entry level job when they had no other choice. We live in somewhat Dickensian times so don't be too hard on them.
|>>|| No. 399399
I ate a big portion of spaghetti tonight with a sumptuous sauce of caramelised onion and cream cheese and garlic. There was probably a pound of fresh onion in that sauce.
Which means that about half an hour ago, I started producing some of the foulest smelling farts known to man.
|>>|| No. 399401
How would I go about seducing a middle-aged woman (known as a MILF colloquially, but not necessary with kids) ?
I'm just really interested in shagging an older woman and seeing what it's like...
|>>|| No. 399413
Is that house a new build or just heavily renovated? Everything looks new, but those garages doors are jarringly mismatched.
I find that if you eat a lot of onion or other sulphurous foods regularly, your body gets used to it and the farts stop.
|>>|| No. 399414
Do you ever notice how your sperm, or indeed the vaginal fluid of your partner, smell of onions the next day when you've eaten a lot of it?
|>>|| No. 399415
All alliums have this effect to a certain degree. Garlic is notorious for coming out in your sweat (and other bodily secretions) especially.
|>>|| No. 399432
Why are you replying as me??
Very good idea actually I think I may well do this.
It's an extension and heavy renovation. It's my neighbour's place. I think he will be changing that door. I'd hope so anyway so it matches the rest of the house. I will post updates as the job goes. I'm currently out getting more work.
Out of interest, what do you guys think of what I've posted so far? I may well start a proper thread...
|>>|| No. 399494
A coworker sent me this an hour ago...
I haven't always been a fan of John Cleese's humour, but I appreciate him as a level-headed intellectual. And he does have a point there.
|>>|| No. 399495
"If people can't control their own emotions, then they have to start trying to control other people's behaviour"
Hit the nail on the fucking head right there.
|>>|| No. 399508
>...but I appreciate him as a level-headed intellectual
I wouldn't call anyone who's been through that many marriages "level-headed".
|>>|| No. 399509
>I wouldn't call anyone who's been through that many marriages "level-headed".
Or maybe he is more level-headed than all the rest of us, by leaving a sinking ship when the situation commands it.
Staying in a failing relationship just for the sake of not being a quitter isn't necessarily a level-headed thing to do.
|>>|| No. 399510
Only got a small but dug out on this job today. Tipping the oversize there caused difficulties but due to our narrow lane there was no choice.
I can't wait to show you the end result of this cause it's going to be an absolute masterpiece cause it's the neighbour's place. All of our work is good obviously but seeing as it's the neighbour we are going to go the extra Mike. I'll only be breaking even on this too as it's well underpriced. This is ok though as the guy is a builder so he should be sending a fair bit of work this way when his mates see it. >>399495
|>>|| No. 399513
I don't mind helping anybody but my father really pisses me off when he rings me after work and asks me to help him with something techy.
I wouldn't mind but he makes no effort to even try, but grumps if I say he should do it himself.
I too, have to sit and read online instructions or watch videos, yet he seems to think I automatically know everything.
When I ask how much he's tried he will say he just can't do it, yet I'll read a simple step out and say 'did you do that?' and he'll say 'oh oh I didn't realise.'
I've no idea why but this kind of laziness really pisses me off, I think it's because he acts as if I'm the one being annoying because I don't drop everything to go round after a long day at work and do it when he's just being lazy, yet he tries to guilt me for it.
|>>|| No. 399549
For one, part of our job IS drainage. So I know a little about it. I'm eager to know how I cause floods?
|>>|| No. 399576
What are you on about, sir?
Does my house look like I'm working class? Also most of our work is at million plus houses in north London.
With regards to flood plains... our work doesn't affect that.
|>>|| No. 399577
>Does my house look like I'm working class?
I mean...there's a static caravan there and everything.
|>>|| No. 399579
There's little more working class than taking umbrage at being accused of being working class. Same goes for middle class, but not upper.
|>>|| No. 399583
Know your place, there's a good chap. I would wager you only use the one set of knife and fork at table.
|>>|| No. 399584
>With regards to flood plains... our work doesn't affect that.
We've just provided evidence that block paving over impermeable hardcore does affect ground drainage, and now you're directly refuting that based on precisely fuck all.
|>>|| No. 399585
How long would you be able to survive if you stopped building driveways?
There you go. You're working class.
|>>|| No. 399587
> Does my house look like I'm working class?
Yes you chavvy little oik.
> Also most of our work is at million plus houses in north London.
I'm not sure what kind of déclassé area you live in that the houses aren't worth at least a million each, that's hardly big noise in London, old chap.
Honestly though, what does working class mean any more? I always remember this documentary with John Prescott in it where he asked this clearly underprivileged girl from a council estate what class she thought she was.
"Middle class", the girl said with absolute certainty.
"That's odd", replied Are Johnno, "you're the first person I've met who'd say they're middle class when they're obviously working class".
"But I don't work though!", came the sublime riposte.
Sage for replying absolutely nothing at all of merit.
|>>|| No. 399588
I don't have to work as it is now. I do it cause I enjoy it and to give my workmen a wage. If I packed up tomorrow what would they do?
|>>|| No. 399589
Apropos, I suppose yes I am working class but I've got money. The advantage is I'm still in touch with reality.
|>>|| No. 399590
Hard-core is not impermeable. It soaks up water very well indeed. I'm all my time I've never heard from a customer about drainage issues. Plus our aqua channels are plumbed into sewers, so....
|>>|| No. 399591
Classes are large groups of people differing from each other by the place they occupy in a historically determined system of social production, by their relation (in most cases fixed and formulated by law) to the means of production, by their role in the social organisation of labour, and, consequently, by the dimensions of the share of social wealth of which they dispose and their mode of acquiring it.
|>>|| No. 399595
I have a GCSE in Sociology. I remember nothing of it. I don't even know how I passed.
|>>|| No. 399599
First time on .gs in a week or so. Moved house and don't have internet., and the data signal is non existent. Talktalk are fucking useless when it comes to changing the service to my new house.
|>>|| No. 399603
Had similar with another company when I moved just before Xmas. Basically I now have policy of getting the personal number of the CEO as it gets things moving.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 399608
> I'm all my time I've never heard from a customer about drainage issues. Plus our aqua channels are plumbed into sewers, so....
That's the point. It's not the people with block paving getting flooded. Rain is being diverted into the sewers instead of soaking into the ground where it lands. One driveway makes no difference, but millions of block-paved driveways means a vast amount of extra load placed on sewers and ultimately on rivers.
|>>|| No. 399616
Had that problem around Christmas and New Years. My modem had trouble staying synchronised, and connection speed was piss poor. The connection problems disappeared again on their own, but until about a week ago, I still had slow connection speed. Couldn't be arsed to ring BT about it, they're never really helpful anyway.
On a completely unrelated note, have you lot watched The Kyle Files on ITV? It's a proper disgusting typical Jeremy Kyle vehicle where he gets to be on his high and mighty horse and point fingers of indignation at poor sods. And yet, it's strangely addictive viewing. It's on ITV1 in 20 minutes.
|>>|| No. 399617
No, but I did just watch the Sport Relief Bake Off solely for the involvement of Victoria Coren Mitchell, who I would drag my dick through glass shards just to be near. She was on form tonight, gleefully ignoring the brief to make anything remotely cake-like, knocking back shots of vodka with a cheeky grin to the camera and generally being ideal wife material. She's perfect.
|>>|| No. 399619
She is getting on a bit though. Definitely looked more appealing five years ago.
I'd give my left testicle to be able to fuck Rachel Riley just once. I used to have similar thoughts about Stacey Dooley, but she is fucking awful to even just listen to on TV these days.
|>>|| No. 399623
all the way it's the same amount of rain water reaching the sewers the only driveways with the Aqua channels are plugged into the sewers or ones which form back towards the house of the wise the water would collect in front with nowhere to go.
|>>|| No. 399624
also if you have a drop Crossing you don't need any plumbing at all the water just goes out into the road and down the road drains which is a perfectly acceptable situation.
|>>|| No. 399625
Are you sure?
Round here, that's right out. You need to dump the water into your own area - my block paving has porous paving, drains, a soakaway and some flowerbeds.
Thought it was national regs.
|>>|| No. 399627
Yes you are right about regs but only if you don't have a crossing. We also use soakawsys. The actual type 2 sub base does a great job of this.
|>>|| No. 399635
Pavinglad, why don't you go make your own thread in /uhu/ or somewhere?
I don't want to seem harsh but I don't give a shit about your driveway construction enterprise and it's hardly fitting to the theme of the thread if you keep posting it like it's a fucking blog.
|>>|| No. 399636
I guarantee that, barring any submissions resulting from this, there will be no posts on that board until it's time for the annual pumpkin contest.
|>>|| No. 399639
I'm just here posting my week as I wanted to provide an insight into what it's like to work for money and do a good. Job
|>>|| No. 399766
Just received a call from my bank, asking me why I transferred the couple of thousand quid I had in my bank account (which were my cut after helping a friend sell his house for quite a nice premium) to another account at another bank. The person who called me said, "I'm sorry you moved your money away from us, couldn't there have been something we could have done to invest this money wisely for you?"
Fucking idiots. When I was unemployed and my current account was deep in the red for months, they told me repeatedly that they would consider terminating our relationship if I wasn't at some point going to balance the account. And now all of a sudden, they're trying to suck up to me like that.
|>>|| No. 399776
What's the name of that big bastard tool next to the middle guy? I've used one before, it was a corker but I never found its name apart from 'that big bastard'.
|>>|| No. 399779
It's called an auger. Believe me it's a God send as digging fence post holes by hand is fucking hard work using a double shovel.
|>>|| No. 399818
Sometimes there's a slight discomfort when moving, but I'm fine apart from that.
The procedure itself wasn't too bad, it just felt like someone was gently squeezing my balls. The thought of getting it done was far worse than the actual event.
|>>|| No. 399822
Fucking hell. It seems so easy to keep getting jobs making pavements or whatever. Is the money good? I think I might make a career switch.
|>>|| No. 399823
Not that lad but once you've got a CSCS as a site operative you'll always be able to find work. The money can be pretty good, and you need never pay tax on it if you play your cards right.
|>>|| No. 399824
>CSCS as a site operative
I don't think they do that any more. You get a Labourer card or something now. How good is the money? Can it top my depressing £10/hour admin job? I miss being out and about.
|>>|| No. 399825
yeah it's now just 'Labourer'. http://www.cscs.uk.com/card-type/labourer/
Honestly I'm not 100%, I think it does tend to hang around £10 to begin with, the money gets better when you get supervisory responsibilities. At my larger contractor, the best money comes in at overtime or weekend working, where you go on time and a half.
This might be very different at the lad's jobs in the pictures, because we get all our labourer from labour providers, they tend to not be individual staff.
|>>|| No. 399826
Hmm... Where to begin?
I'm the driveway guy and here is how I work. I employ my guys and pay them £80 per day and give them accomodation and provide transport to work etc. They would get more working elsewhere but then they would have to pay their own rent and transport and what have you.
I average 5 to 10 thousand per job for a normal size job and recently as you can see there has been plenty of work.
With regards to CSCS cards and other tickets, I'm quite "flexible" in that nobody has any officially recognised qualifications. Even my digger guy is fully unlicensed.
I have a license for driving my lorries and that's about it to be honest. I've employed so called qualified people before and they're the ones that have been the most fucking useless cunts going and didn't even know how to use a shovel at all.
We are also pretty culturally diverse in that we have a Latvian a pole a Romanian and an irishman. I'm sure someone could make a good joke there. Btw I'm English myself.
|>>|| No. 399827
Assuming the accommodation your offer is OK then that doesn't sound like a bad deal.
I know CSCS is often not a big deal in individual operations - my mate's dad has a similar outfit to yours - but we mostly retain it so that if one of our chaps gets squashed by a falling concrete block we can plausibly claim that we train them all in site safety measures.
|>>|| No. 399828
Static caravans are provided. And I take the men for cooked breakfast every morning.
I do look after them and treat them pretty much like family. After all we all live and work together. It's some dynamic I can tell you.
|>>|| No. 399830
Haven't had to recruit in a while, but in the past I have people calling me looking for work or what I prefer to do is try and employ homeless people so that I can give them somewhere to live and try and sort themselves out.
|>>|| No. 399831
Just to add, sorry, I employed my Polish guy after meeting him sleeping in a crematorium. He has now been here 5 years. The Latvian guy has been here for 11 years. I met him when I was over in Ireland and he had been sleeping in a barn. He is the best mechanic/digger driver that you could get.
Since he has been here he has managed to pay off a full mortgage for a huge barn property back in his home country.
|>>|| No. 399832
Site safety is often common sense. But from experience I can most certainly say that shit happens. I was operating the grab crane one day, and the pin that holds the bucket on came out. The bucket came off and landed right next to the Polish chap. Bearing in mind this thing weighs half a ton he was very lucky. I am always telling people to never stand underneath it.
Also the guys like to fuck about and creep the grab crane over someones head when they're not looking and scare the shit out of them by opening and then closing very hard the grab mechanism.
The Pole broke his leg once. Bloody idiot, it was his own fault entirely. He chose to jump off of the top of the 18 ton lorry onto a concrete driveway. He used to do this all the time onto the grass verge, but this time onto concrete. He was laid up off work for 3 months, during which time I did look after him.
|>>|| No. 399833
So... Can I just call up anyone who does these sort of jobs and ask for employment? Would that work?
Probably would work. I will try it on Monday and report back.
|>>|| No. 399834
What you want a job?
Have you got any experience with ground work? I ask because it can be very arduous and even though a shovel looks to be a simple thing there really is a technique to using one.
|>>|| No. 399836
I'm going into hospital Tuesday to have all four wisdom teeth surgically removed under full anaesthetic.
One of my coworkers said he had the exact same procedure done when he was my age.
So I asked him what to expect, and what it's going to feel like. He told me in no uncertain terms that the first few hours after waking up again will feel like a hand grenade went off in the back of my mouth.
|>>|| No. 399838
I know that it's a last resort for many hospitals because of the real risk of nerve damage. It's shit, but hopefully you'll pull through.
|>>|| No. 399839
After those first couple of hours, the pain will be manageable by medication. Just don't plan on being able to drive home.
|>>|| No. 399840
Well they told me it's just easier to put me under, since they're going to take out all four teeth. It will mean less stress for me, and they can just concentrate on their work without having to worry about how I am feeling. They said the operation itself is usually a lot quicker too than doing it under local anaesthetic.
|>>|| No. 399844
What is it like working a rather physical, labour-intensive job laying bourgeois driveways for rich fucks who live in houses like that? No, really, I'm interested what it's like to be employed by people who have more than you, and probably always will, because they were born to it and didn't have to sleep on a sofabed with their mum in a grotty council bedsit after their schizophrenic father battered her one too many times.
I'm just curious.
|>>|| No. 399848
I think we've finally uncovered the mentality behind why some tradesmen feel the need to piss in client's sinks. Someone call Rogue Traders and let them know we've cracked it.
This probably hasn't occurred to you, because you were doing a bit of projecting at the time, but ARE resident builder lad is probably wealthier than most of his customers.
How does the idea that he might be reasonably well off make you feel about him now? I'm just curious.
|>>|| No. 399851
Lad, that's a four bed in the suburbs, with a ten year old jag in the driveway. It's not a fucking mansion, it's a normal house for people with middling careers. Born into that? What are you on? I grew up poor as fuck but I still manage to have a nicer gaff than pictured.
|>>|| No. 399854
It's a bit more than middling. This is north London, so it's not really suburbia.
I slept on a sofa for a long time. That's what motivates me. To work for these people... I feel like I'm getting my own back you know?
I mean, I don't work so much now cause the boys do the hard graft but it's all my training.
And with regards to wealth it's taken 20 years to get a few million in the bank.
|>>|| No. 399855
Here's the next job were doing. It's a patio at the back of the house we done a few jobs back.
|>>|| No. 399858
Just to add, no one customer is different to the rest really. The driveway pictures earned me around 20k net.
|>>|| No. 399871
>>399815 here again.
Just had my first post-vasectomy wank and it was a bit weird. My spunk came out in two stages; the first was extremely watery and the second part was like thick sludge which came out very slowly. I'm meant to wank about twice a week over the next 16 weeks to thoroughly clean my pipes.
|>>|| No. 399879
Are you joking? Are you fucking kidding?
Right. I'm giving my two week's notice next week. I will be starting a driveway brick thing business soon.
|>>|| No. 399884
The quality of the driveway work in builderlad's picture is Grade A, the best I've seen and I've been in and around the the trade as my best mate owns his own Bricklaying company and I know what's good and what is shit. His boys are up there with the best which is why he gets so much work, clearly, as good word of mouth is your bread and butter for a small business.
Not only will it have taken him years to build that reputation, he'll have guaranteed meat and potatoes work to keep the company ticking over and the boys paid when there is a lull in jobs.
You'd crash and burn or end up on Watchdog or both.
|>>|| No. 399887
>as my best mate owns his own Bricklaying company and I know what's good and what is shit.
There's a certain amphibian I want to post but am not allowed to.
|>>|| No. 399888
I don't really know what you're implying here, you're going to have to clarify.
To hazard a guess, is it that my best mate doesn't own a building contractor company or do you accept he does, but regardless of that fact or my affiliation with him my opinion on the relative quality of brick work is probably wank?
|>>|| No. 399890
It does look nice though. Admittedly I know nothing about construction but I'd hazard a guess the quality is what's underneath rather than on the surface.
|>>|| No. 399891
It looks nice because it is nice, unlike my former employer's cowboy built car park which wasn't properly hardcored and sank, but very much like the jobs my mate does, of which I have visited many examples over the years for one reason or another, which have got him a Britain's Top Tradesman nomination on more than one occasion. I think he was in the Final one year, but I digress.
You might assume that as trade professionals builders would seek to do the best job possible, but most of them wouldn't have bothered their arses doing those drainage covers, never mind achieving a seam of that quality (It was the first thing he noticed when I showed him the pics actually, "Those are some nice drains." he said), which sets this lad and his crew apart in my estimation from the get go.
I've seen plenty of shit work over the years and, because my mate is also good, plenty of good work. From that point on it's just a matter of cross referencing from memory. Your incredulity at my claims to know the difference strike me as strange, all considered.
|>>|| No. 399892
>Your incredulity at my claims to know the difference strike me as strange, all considered.
I don't think so, there's nothing in your post to suggest there shouldn't be, a mate of mine works for Lloyds but fuck if I know what he does. Thanks for the explanation though.
|>>|| No. 399895
Yeah, fair enough.
To put it another way, your mate probably doesn't ask you to do admin work for him at Lloyds when he's a man down and behind on his paperwork, which would leave you insulated from the world of High Street Banking. Thus, retaining it's air of mystique in your eyes.
|>>|| No. 399985
I'm going to finish off the essays I need to do and maybe get my brother something. Either a PS4 hard drive, two PS4 controllers or a tablet. It's a shame the Amazon Fire has gone back up to £50, it was on for £40 for a few days and I dithered and didn't get it. Now I'll just have to wait a bit longer I suppose.
|>>|| No. 400048
We call that digger the "little bastard". It really does a good job as it gets in places that the others can't. We've driven through people's houses on a couple of occasions.
Here is a picture of that nice job in progress...
|>>|| No. 400050
Thursday is d-day. My mrs comes back after two weeks with her mum in another country. I have been playing away and need to decide what to do about it. Nothing and hope it blows over us my usual approach.
|>>|| No. 400051
And yes the quality of the job really is hidden underneath. We dig out at least half a metre and then tip in oversize hardcore and level it and then type 1 hardcore goes on top of that and its compacted with a quarter ton wacker plate. Then concrete sand goes on top which is again compacted with a smaller wacker, then the bricks which are again compacted. Our driveways go nowhere. Which is why my work is guaranteed for 10 years and lasts 30.
Thanks for the compliments on my manhole by the way...
|>>|| No. 400057
Really half a metre? I'm struggling to believe that and I'm wondering if you've got a bit confused converting feet to metres. Can you please share a photo of a how deep you dig?
|>>|| No. 400059
18 inches is a little over half a metre... that's how deep we dig out.
|>>|| No. 400106
come on lad, don't tell me there's not a little bit of gypsy in you.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 400125
I've got my PhD viva on Friday. I'm not shitting it because I know full well that if I wasn't going to pass then they would have told me before letting me finish my final year, I'm just worried about coming across like a complete fucking gimp in front of my supervisor.
I had a dream last night that I nipped out of the viva for a few minutes before we started so I could use the loo, but then got sidetracked and went on some mad adventure that I can't remember any of and then went back about an hour and a half later to find my examiners had just left the paperwork saying I've passed but that they were in a right arse with me for disappearing.
|>>|| No. 400126
How do I get rid of turmeric stains? It's all over the kitchen counter and my skin.
|>>|| No. 400130
It's been a while since I had a can of John Smith's (won one on a hoopla run by the Samaritans) but I'm guessing they're not meant to have a plastic ball inside them.
|>>|| No. 400132
It's packed with compressed gas - nitrogen? that comes out through a pinhole when you lower the pressure by opening the can. Gives good head.
|>>|| No. 400138
I've had an Amazon delivery this evening and one of the DVDs smells strongly of curry powder for some reason.
|>>|| No. 400140
Not too badly if you only leave it on for a minute or so until the stains lift and then immediately rinse it off. At least, I do this to my counters when turmeric/curry stains them yellow. Only thing that gets them off in my experience.
Speaking of curry, I had dinner with my Indian friend earlier and the smells coming from my other end are horrific. I'm sat marinating in horrendous curry farts. It was a delicious bhuna though.
|>>|| No. 400141
Got a college interview today. I hope they just tell me to go fuck myself so it's not dragged out over months and months.
|>>|| No. 400143
I've rewritten around 80% of my group project for Uni under the guise of 'editing'. Group projects are the devil.
I've sadly had to get rid of gems like 'first hand photographs'.
|>>|| No. 400144
>Group projects are the devil
Just wait until you're out in the real world after uni.
I'd like to be able to tell you it gets better - but it really, really does not.
|>>|| No. 400165
I've been asked to start a band with 2 other lads, I'm thrilled - but the issue is that I haven't picked up my instrument in like 2 years.
We want to start a punk band, so at least it's going to be straightforward - but I'm nervous as fuck, I haven't played with people in like 10 years...
|>>|| No. 400166
In my experience, a couple of hours of live practice is worth about fifty sat at home alone. There's just something about playing in a band that accelerates the process.
And it's a punk band, it's not like you're going to be shot for being a bit sloppy at first.
|>>|| No. 400167
Yeah, just grab your instrument and give it a good dusting off. If you rehearse with the band regularly the finer points will come back to you soon enough.
|>>|| No. 400178
>We want to start a punk band, so at least it's going to be straightforward
Have you taught yourself the two and a half chords yet?
|>>|| No. 400179
Come on now, learning chords is like a quarter of what is needed. Timing/pacing and keeping rhythm is really the key.
|>>|| No. 400180
Tell that to a wide assortment of self-titled punk bands.
Present company excluded, so this won't become another ad hominem cunt off.
|>>|| No. 400182
>Come on now, learning chords is like a quarter of what is needed
Only because you only need three of them.
|>>|| No. 400219
>Only because you only need three of them.
You have to admire a number of punk legends though for constructing pretty great songs around a simple three-cord structure.
Anybody can throw together a few instrument tracks on a computer nowadays, manipulate them with a few mouse clicks and then call it music. With or without just the use of three basic chords.
But a true mark of skill and talent is when you strip back something to a bare minimum of its constituent parts and then create something great out of it. And that's what some punk bands did, with often quite simplistic songs that are still popular today.
|>>|| No. 400220
For example, this song here is just pure genius:
Written in 1979 by a schoolboy band, it's a song that simply has something timeless about it. There's a pub here where you can still hear that song on a Saturday night. And tucked into a stretch of songs by more contemporary indie bands, you'll hardly realise that it's actually 37 years old.
|>>|| No. 400245
Parents have decided to leave the country.
I know I'm meant to be a big boy now, but this is really quite terrifying. I don't know how I feel about my last and strongest strut of my rather small support network fucking off to the Costa del Manchester now my dad has been forced into early retirement. I'm not ready for this.
I might end up drinking a lot tonight.
|>>|| No. 400246
Expecting an eviction notice next week. It's already overdue. The council is crap, making up reasons not to give an emergency acc. They can give 400 but it's not enough even for a room. Wish I was a refugee.
|>>|| No. 400247
Expecting an eviction notice next week. It's already overdue. The council is crap, making up reasons not to give an emergency acc. They can give 400 but it's not enough even for a room. Wish I was a refugee.
|>>|| No. 400248
Mate, these days it's cheaper to get a flight to Malaga than a train to Newcastle. It's not like they've emigrated to Mars or something. You'll be fine.
|>>|| No. 400249
I know, it's just quite a way away if I end up in hospital or my boiler explodes and I haven't got their sofa to crawl back to etc. I think I always knew they'd leave the UK as they hated living here. They're my only close blood relatives.
|>>|| No. 400253
Don't you wish you were a gypo or an ethnic? They have thousands of cousins and relatives.
|>>|| No. 400297
Reckon today'll be a good day, woke up with a rare motivation. I've nearly dropped a stone, and figured out my sleep schedule after being a recluse for a week.
Coffee will sort this uni work out then I'll almost be human again.
Have a good one lads.
|>>|| No. 400298
I feel a cold coming on. Not nice. I've got loads of stuff to do this week which can't be postponed.
|>>|| No. 400299
This is my first full week as Dr Anon. I've got changes to make to my thesis, but so far I've been in the pub since Friday afternoon. It's a good feeling never having to be a student ever again.
|>>|| No. 400300
I've got another year and 8 months... I just want this shit to be done with.
|>>|| No. 400324
Technically, no work on Monday. There's a burst water pipe in the office building where I work and where our company is located, and
facility management housekeeping is going to send a few people to attempt to fix the damage on Monday. For safety reasons, most employees have been told to work from home on Monday, and office staff will be reduced to three or four people answering the phone and forwarding calls to employees' mobile phones.
|>>|| No. 400329
Just popping in lads. Still waiting on getting hooked up with phone and internet. It was supposed to go live yesterday, but it's talktalk. so they missed it and blamed the BT engineer at the exchange. Aparantly it'll be fixed by Tuesday.
|>>|| No. 400331
Why? Because I get to sleep longer and then sit in the livingroom in my trackies all day doing a little bit of work on my laptop while watching Jeremy Kyle and Antiques Roadshow?
I don't fully get the "safety reasons" thing though. Do they think we'll drown if they don't manage to fix that water pipe? On the sixth floor of an office tower?
|>>|| No. 400333
Is that man reading the BBC News at Ten secretly Warwick Davies in stilts?
|>>|| No. 400334
Water leaks pose a risk of electric shocks, electrical fires and structural damage. If they turn the electrics off then you're better off working from home; Even then, the floor or ceiling could collapse.
|>>|| No. 400336
I think you're confused lad, >>400330 wasn't responding to you working from home, he was responding to the lad with no internet connection.
|>>|| No. 400366
It turned out today that the water leak at the office isn't as straightforward as was originally thought; my boss called me two hours ago and said that we won't be able to resume normal operation tomorrow morning as planned... maybe by tomorrow afternoon they'll have it fixed so that we can come back in, but that too is iffy at this point.
Well, another day of half-sleeping in tomorrow. I'm not complaining.
|>>|| No. 400386
So, the missus is Pregnant, which of course means I now have to clear out most of my collection of games and consoles etc I've built over years so the baby has a room etc. Apparently I cant even think of keeping tat like that when there's a baby on the way.
|>>|| No. 400387
Don't, mate. You might never play any of it ever again (you really, really won't once it's arrived) but getting rid of it under duress is only going to make you feel bitter because you no longer have it around to be too busy to play with. This is what lofts and lockups are for. And if you can't afford the price of a lockup, maybe you should've thought more carefully about your income before bringing new life into this world.
|>>|| No. 400388
Not him, but I threw practically everything I own in the attic to make space for the baby. I hardly ever use any of it and what of it I do use, it's very little effort to go up there and get it. I look forward to sharing my antique video games with the little man when he gets old enough.
The main problem I found was getting my missus to tell me what stuff she wanted me to put of hers up in the attic. When she moved in, she brought three decades worth of accumulated knick-knacks that seem worthless to me, but she loves. She doesn't love them enough to ever use them, of course.
The only thing she really uses its the telly, and the only thing I ever really use is the computer.
The best advice I could give is to to buy more storage furniture. You can put up shelves or buy one of these things from Ikea. I find the main problem with keeping the place tidy it's that lots of stuff doesn't have a home- with superfluous storage, you can just hide the mess in boxes on the wall.
|>>|| No. 400389
>which of course means I now have to clear out most of my collection of games and consoles etc I've built over years so the baby has a room etc
Why? That's an integral part of who you are and what you enjoy as a person. Did "the missus" tell you that that stuff needs to go now? Is she worried that something might steal your undivided attention?
And what about when your child is five or six years old and might develop a liking towards those things as well? My brother's son is six years old, and already he spends afternoons glued to my brother's PlayStation.
Get a few big mover's boxes to store the stuff in, and then take them to your parents' house or whatever. No man should give up a collection like that for good.
|>>|| No. 400390
I do realise that i've not touched half of it in a long while, but it's a mix of being annoyed that a sense of self is being eroded, and the fact that 90% of it is worth fuck all. Just moved house y'see, and the plan was the spare room was going to become the man cave, and before half the stuff was unpacked, she got the result. Now i'm happy she's pregnant, we;ve been trying for a few years, but it's just a shock to the system I guess.
|>>|| No. 400391
How does one keep stuff in one's attic without having it destroyed by damp? I know that's what's happened to all my childhood memorie.
|>>|| No. 400392
>but it's a mix of being annoyed that a sense of self is being eroded, and the fact that 90% of it is worth fuck all.
No. Your sense of self isn't being eroded, you are giving it up. It's all well and good that you've got a baby on the way. But that doesn't mean you no longer have a right to be your own person, including your hobbies and interests that you spent years pursuing and building collections of this and that, no matter how much they will have to (and should!) play second fiddle to raising a child from here on out.
Have a look at this (from about 0:58 in):
|>>|| No. 400393
An attic should not be damp. You probably can't do much about it getting too hot, but damp should be worrying.
|>>|| No. 400394
>When she moved in, she brought three decades worth of accumulated knick-knacks that seem worthless to me, but she loves. She doesn't love them enough to ever use them, of course.
I know that feeling. My other half just seems to accumulate bits and bobs. Apparently tidying means moving one pile of assorted shite someone else rather than actually, you know, tidying it.
Anyway, is it normal for your arse to leak out farts without realising it? My tummy is a bit squiffy and I've just got back in my car to be greeted to the tinge of warm farts I wasn't aware had escaped my arse.
|>>|| No. 400395
Do you stick things up your bum lad? The day after sticking stuff up mine it does that too.
|>>|| No. 400397
Indeed, if you proper insulate your arse it shouldn't leak out farts without you noticing.
|>>|| No. 400398
Perhaps he's stuck something up it and then insulated it? It isn't my kind of thing /kanye but given our train of thought, can't be ruled out.
|>>|| No. 400404
I was just cleaning out a closet and found 8 bottles of bulmers right at the back. happy days -but, they are about 3 months past their 'Best Before' date. I can still drink these, aye?
I don't know why i'm even asking cause i'm going to fucking drink them regardless of what you lads tell me.
|>>|| No. 400405
Yes, you will be fine, thought it might not taste great (not that Bulmers does even when in date). "Best before" means literally that: that the food or drink's taste will likely be worse after that date. It doesn't mean it's unsafe to consume.
Use by dates are what you really need to look out for.
|>>|| No. 400406
Decided to try a three or four-year-old unopened bottle of Advocaat last night. It wouldn't pour. It was practically solid.
|>>|| No. 400420
I've got a bottle of Glenfiddich in a cardboard gift box that has been in my possession, and in my livingroom cabinet, for the best part of ten years. Would it still be any good?
Kind of a shame I can't stand whisky. Or whiskey. Neither of them are even remotely appealing to me. But I guess it's kind of past its time to be regifted.
|>>|| No. 400421
Whisky improves with age.
The eggs and milk will be pasteurised, so it'll have an essentially indefinite shelf life. Even after it has been opened, it'll be sufficiently alcoholic to inhibit bacterial growth.
|>>|| No. 400422
>Whisky improves with age.
Yes, but I would imagine that storage conditions are key. If you store your whisk(e)y in an oak barrel in your basement at constant cool temperature year-round, then it will probably improve with age. But not if like my bottle, it's in your livingroom cabinet and exposed to fluctuating seasonal temperatures.
I'm kind of extrapolating from my knowledge about wine here. Wine usually doesn't take temperatures above 12-15°C well for long-term storage. After my nan died, we found a bottle of 1995 Bordeaux in one of her livingroom cabinets. Old people usually like their livingroom temperature quite cosy, and so when we opened the bottle and had a sip, it tasted nothing short of disgusting.
|>>|| No. 400423
This is true, though I'd imagine a spirit to be more resilient than a wine because of the higher alcohol content. Also I'm no expert on wine, but as far as I'm aware it is a 'living product' with yeast still floating about doing their thing at a much reduced level until you open it, whereas that certainly won't be the case for a spirit. So this would explain why wine is more likely to go bad if the yeast decide they're not liking where you're keeping them.
|>>|| No. 400425
Ideally, yeast should no longer be present in filtered and bottled wine, because it will metabolise the residual sugar in wine and will cause the wine to carbonate, which will either give you accidental champagne, or if you are unlucky can burst the bottle due to the CO2 pressure that is created. Wine is filtered prior to bottling, almost without exception, to prevent this.
But that's only half the story; it's really quite difficult to keep every single last yeast cell from sneaking past your filters and ending up in your bottles and restarting alcoholic fermentation. Usually, sulfur dioxide is added to the wine just to be sure and to keep any residual yeast cells in check. Also, sulfur dioxide is a potent antioxidant which keeps the wine from going bad and oxidising.
But if the storage conditions aren't right, all that will only have a limited effect on a wine's long-term drinkability.
Spirits don't have this problem, by the way. Because on the one hand, they are distilled at temperatures that are unsurvivable for yeast cells, and on the other hand, an alcohol content roughly above 18-20% will kill off any microorganisms all on its own.
|>>|| No. 400426
Gymnastics on BBC One. Some of the thighs on show are simply lovely.
|>>|| No. 400430
Because you're thinking about their tight gymnastic snatch. They can do things that'd make a whore blush.
|>>|| No. 400432
To the lab! I will need a prudish whore, and a group of gymnast, Can Britfa.gs assist?
|>>|| No. 400439
I've just woken up choking on my own sick, only when I've gone back in the bedroom it looks more like I've been coughing up blood. That can't be good.
|>>|| No. 400441
Not him, but I just came back from my A&E. I walked in, told them what was happening (throwing up blood), and before I even completed chatting to the lass behind the glass, an announcement was made on the tannoy system about how there are too many patients. The announcement told people to fuck off if their ailments weren't serious enough, since the waiting time was around five to six hours.
I told her to never mind and came back home. If I am going to die, I will die in my warm, comfortable bed. Maybe I will have my room-mate call the ambulance if I pass out or something, but now I don't feel so bad. I just can't eat. I hope I can sleep it off.
|>>|| No. 400443
Has it always been normal to wait several hours at A&E? I mean it's called Accident and Emergency. It's the most urgent department of the hospital. But you have to sit there cradling your injury for hours. Is this normal? Did our parents and grandparents wait this long?
|>>|| No. 400444
There's usually a triage service, although I'm sure this seems to be provided by the receptionist. Last time I went was for a suspected broken finger and it took around 3/4 hours to be seen when there was only a handful of other people in the waiting room.
|>>|| No. 400449
There has been a huge increase in demand for A&E services, partly because it's very difficult to get a GP appointment in many areas, partly because of increased expectations of round-the-clock care and partly because of failings in other services. A&E has become a catch-all of sorts; A last resort for the mentally ill, people with unmet social care needs, people who'll have to wait four weeks to see their GP about their chronic pain, drunks who can't be left alone but aren't worth arresting. It's where people go when they have nowhere else to go.
As a rule, you'll get faster care for non-emergencies if you attend a walk-in centre rather than A&E.
As >>400444 suggests, all A&E units operate a triage system. Life-threatening symptoms like major trauma or serious chest pain get rushed straight to the front of the queue. Things that might be serious like GI bleeds or suspected meningitis are next. Bottom of the list is anything that won't get worse with time - minor fractures, cuts and burns etc.
Receptionists usually have a checklist of very dangerous symptoms that get you immediate attention. Triage nurses use a more complex approach to prioritise cases, often supported by software.
More broadly, waiting times are a symptom of the NHS's extreme drive cost-efficiency. Every part of the NHS is designed to deliver the greatest number of additional Quality-Adjusted Life Years at the lowest possible cost. It achieves that aim better than any healthcare system in the developed world, but it means that we don't get anything that isn't absolutely vital. We put up with it because a) we're not willing to pay enough in tax and b) we're sentimentally attached to the idea of the NHS.
|>>|| No. 400450
I went to a and e last month with a suspected broken finger (would've just gone to the doctor but when I resolved to go and see somebody only a and e was open) I had three talks with nurses or whatever and an xray in the space of an hour. Was busy too, I couldn't sit down.
|>>|| No. 400454
False alarm, lads. What appears to be blood in a dimly lit bedroom turns out to be last night's chocolate cake in the morning light.
|>>|| No. 400456
Have to share this with someone, because I'm under a non-disclosure agreement with some people I work with (in a uni, nothing serious, just academia protocol).
Anyway, got some fucking amazing results on this thing I'm working on. Think biofuels/bacteria. That's all I'm saying. But lads I'm chuffed.
|>>|| No. 400457
>>400456 Good stuff!
Is this the kind of thing that might trump the Hydrogen weenies with their horrible, horrible fuel and its storage nightmares? I've been hoping for algae grown fuel for a while, seems like a far saner bet than raw hydrogen, and avoids some of the many annoyances of big batteries. If you've got bacteria to play nice, then so much the better.
Anyway, get back to work. World domination awaits.
|>>|| No. 400458
Sadly, it got worse for me last night/early morning. I threw up blood a couple more times, and had the worse pain in my stomach I ever had. I felt the pain move down my body. It is hard to explain, but I think I might have a small cut or something inside my stomach. It should heal find hopefully. I was a bit feverish a couple of hours ago, but I am fine now. The only issue is eating food. I can't keep it down. I start throwing up very badly if I try to eat anything (or even drink anything sometimes). I tried calling my GP throughout the whole day today, and I couldn't even get through. They just stopped answering their bloody phones now.
I googled some of my symptoms but I doubt I have what they think I have. Funnily enough, painkillers make it worse. I throw up a burning, bloody mess after I had my Ibuprofen. Weird.
|>>|| No. 400459
>blood in a dimly lit bedroom
>last night's chocolate cake
Deliberately removed from all context, these two do seem very weird when mentioned in the same sentence.
But that's just my wandering mind again.
|>>|| No. 400461
>I googled some of my symptoms
This is quite widely not a good idea. Ever.
You need a doctor. Throwing up blood in conjunction with digestive problems is nothing that you should attempt to self-medicate.
|>>|| No. 400462
Ibuprofen is rough on the stomach, I'm not surprised it didn't go down well.
Go and see a doctor, immediately. Most surgeries have an emergency drop-in, for mine it's always been first thing in the morning between 8 and 10AM or something like that. You need help, mate - go get it.
|>>|| No. 400464
I strongly advise you to contact your out-of-hours GP service or go to A&E. With the symptoms you've described, there's a small possibility that you have gastrointestinal perforation. This can turn nasty very quickly; The contents of your digestive leak into your abdomen, which can lead to sepsis.
If your abdominal pain or fever symptoms start getting worse, call an ambulance.
There is a chance that your life is at risk. Don't die of a stiff upper lip. Call 111 now.
|>>|| No. 400466
I have only good words about the NHS triage. I went there with chest pains, they checked my files and saw that I had indeed heart problems and in five minutes I was inside, hooked to the machines and seen by a cardiologist. Turned out that I had a silent heart attack and that I was about to croak. The only bad things were the insults from the drunken chavs angered because I was being seen before them. What the fuck, I am in a life threatening condition, it is so difficult to understand that I must be seen before you? All you need is a bandage for the wrist that you sprained during your night out with your mates (all of them looking like the rejects from the cast of Trainspotting).
|>>|| No. 400470
I broke my wrist once while cycling to work in the morning. I was overtaken by a lorry, which then veered to the left and caused me to fall off my bike and take a dive head-on onto the pavement. Luckily I was wearing a helmet; I was later told that without it, I quite possibly could have had a skull fracture instead of just a few cuts and bruises on my left cheek and jawbone.
An ambulance took me into A&E and I got pretty decent treatment right away. They did x-rays of my hand and wrist and a scan of my head and neck, and told me what was wrong with my wrist and what the options were. About three hours later, I was put into theatre and they screwed a metal plate to my fractured wrist bone.
I've only got good things to say about the NHS. They did alright that day.
|>>|| No. 400471
> Funnily enough, painkillers make it worse. I throw up a burning, bloody mess after I had my Ibuprofen. Weird.
That's not "weird" lad, that's a gastrointestinal haemorrhage or a fucked ulcer. Follow >>400467's advice and get yourself to A&E now.
|>>|| No. 400472
What everyone else has said so far has been accurate (go to A&E) but if you need actual painkillers to deal with it, get a paracetamol-codeine mix. Codamol or paramol or whatever is strong but has no ibuprofen in. Some medical-strength antacid things like omeprazoele or some other things ending in azoele work, if you really can't get to the doctor then a pharmacist will be able to give you the right ones if you tell them the problem. These aren't permanent solutions though, if you're throwing up blood call someone.
|>>|| No. 400473
All NSAIDs (paracetamol, aspirin, ibuprofen, etc) are extremely irritative to the gastrointestinal system - one possible side effect of NSAIDs is internal bleeding; if you're bleeding internally you don't want to throw down something that's going to make it worse. A hospital will be able to provide you with I.V. pain relief if needed.
|>>|| No. 400474
Paracetamol is not an NSAID, it is only a mild analgesic and reduces temperature somewhat. It does not have anti-inflammatory properties.
It probably still won't do the other lad's digestive system much good, but I wanted to be pedantic.
|>>|| No. 400475
I should have listened to you lads. I don't remember much, but I had some more Ibuprofen (which I shouldn't have done). It made things much, much worse. I might be misremembering things, but I had a really bad fever, I started throwing up (even though there was nothing to throw up, just blood and bile). I might have passed out and started shivering badly, so my room-mate called the ambulance for me. The first responders with their small car came around to check my heart and blood pressure. Apparently my heart-rate was going mental, and my blood pressure was playing about. They called an ambulance, and it arrived fast... I think. I was out of it for some reason and kept telling the paramedics that my hands are not real.
Next thing I know, I was being stuck in a CT scan thing because they thought I had meningitis for some reason. I had so many liquid things (IV) go into my arm. I was wondering where does all the liquid medication go when it goes through your veins? Doesn't it push out the blood? How can more things be added without my arm bursting?
Anyway, I was examined thoroughly, and I was also lightly told off by mates, the doctor and family members for being a moron and self medicating. My acid in my stomach ripped my lining to shreds, and I developed an ulcer. All this could have been avoided if only I had waited six hours that day.
Anyway lads, I'm okay now. Thank you.
In other news; I can't wait till humans can buy robotic body parts.
|>>|| No. 400476
> Paracetamol is not an NSAID , it is only a mild analgesic and reduces temperature somewhat. It does not have anti-inflammatory properties.
Stone the crows, you're right lad. Absolutely no idea why I've been going around all these years thinking it was (I'm usually infuriatingly knowing on this kind of thing). Apologies and thanks for not ripping me a new one.
Christ lad, I'm just glad you're ok. Jesus.
|>>|| No. 400477
At least you're alright. Don't be a big daft stoical twat next time. The same goes for the rest of you - stop asking for medical advice on .gs and go to a bloody doctor. If you're pissing, shitting, puking or coughing up blood you need urgent medical attention.
Get well soon.
|>>|| No. 400478
>If you're pissing, shitting, puking or coughing up blood you need urgent medical attention.
>>399815 here again.
For the past fortnight or so I've been spunking quite a lot of blood. I've found that if I'm not yanking myself off around the clock then my balls start aching and I feel unwell plus, on one occasion, I didn't wank for a few days and then when I got around to shooting my muck it was full of old blood which had darkened and coagulated.
|>>|| No. 400479
I'm honestly considering banning anyone who posts medical questions like this, just to give them enough time to read their own fucking posts and call their GP.
|>>|| No. 400480
It's not a medical question, it's one of the after-effects of the two bricks treatment. Spunking blood is perfectly normal while my tubes heal.
|>>|| No. 400481
I'm also someone who's been going round years thinking it was a NSAID, but digging deeper, it gets a little bit more complicated:
It isn't so much that paracetamol "isn't" one, it's more that it "isn't considered" one. It does have a tiny and insignificant anti-inflammatory effect. Apparently.
|>>|| No. 400482
I don't really know what the connotations are of something being an NSAID or not are and I'm not sure I care; ibuprofen makes stomach ulcers hurt more, paracetamol makes them hurt (slightly) less. That's what seems important.
|>>|| No. 400483
>stop asking for medical advice on .gs and go to a bloody doctor
Not quite, because 'go to a bloody doctor' was precisely our advice, and his response was apparently 'nah I'll be reet'.
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