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2009-gottabeandrew.jpg
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>> No. 414070 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 7:39 am
414070 Christmas 2017
It's the first of December. It's that time of year again.

Open your advent calendar chocolates, listen to Andrew, put up your tree at the weekend, put off the present shopping for at least a fortnight, surviving the Christmas party at work, watching shit on telly.

You know the drill by now, lads.
Expand all images.
>> No. 414071 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 9:21 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xyjk4sDxnI
All we need now is that game with the rabbit jumping on snowflakes and we have most of the Britfa Christmas traditions
>> No. 414072 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 9:28 am
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>2009-gottabeandrew.jpg

This is how Andrew looks these days.
>> No. 414073 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 9:59 am
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>>414071

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm
>> No. 414074 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 11:52 am
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>>414070
GAH
>> No. 414075 Anonymous
1st December 2017
Friday 12:57 pm
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Forgot to post this today, it was on my to do list. Honestly this is one of my favourite things about the run up to Christmas. Cheers Andrew!
>> No. 414085 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 12:43 am
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The Christmas period makes me feel ill now and this Andrew lad has reminded me of it. Possibly it's something that I used to consider special, but have since realised it happens every year and it's the same thing, which isn't special at all, but I don't know.

The sound of sleigh bells, everything sparkly and shiny, cloying sentimentality in shit songs of which there are a hundred new ones every single year, and being forced to go shopping. There is no longer a single thought expressed about Christmas that remains original.

Even the word Christmas makes me ill now. You have to hear it over and over again for over a month. That 'krss' sound.
>> No. 414087 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 1:58 am
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>>414085

It's just too long and too much fuss. By the time Christmas day actually comes around, I'm thoroughly fed up with it all.

I think our expectations are so high that it's all become a massive chore. Sticking a frozen turkey in the oven isn't enough, you've got to do an organic three-bird roast with potatoes roasted in goose fat. A tree with some baubles and a bit of tinsel isn't enough, you've got to deck out your house like Santa's bloody grotto. Some wooly socks or a Terry's Chocolate Orange aren't enough, everyone's got to buy me £20 worth of pointless shit that I'll have to offload at the charity shop and they expect the same in return.

I think we'd all enjoy Christmas much more if we stopped trying so hard. There's little in life so utterly soul-destroying as mandatory fun.
>> No. 414089 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 12:18 pm
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I've just been to the shops. Absolutely heaving and people seemed less polite than usual.
>> No. 414091 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 4:54 pm
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>>414089

I haven't done Christmas shopping in actual shops for years, I'm strictly online-only for the whole of December. My local shopping centre is like Dawn of the Dead at this time of year.
>> No. 414092 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 5:08 pm
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>>414091
It was just food shopping. It's like people have decided to collectively shit the bed.
>> No. 414094 Anonymous
2nd December 2017
Saturday 7:18 pm
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>>414091

> My local shopping centre is like Dawn of the Dead at this time of year.

I have a pronounced aversion towards brightly lit shopping centres pretty much throughout the year. They just always make me feel claustrophobic, and when you then add all the glittering lights of tacky artificial Christmas tree displays, as well as hundreds of stressed out Christmas shoppers putting out their elbows, then that is just about the worst place for me to be.

So yes, I, too, do all my Christmas shopping online now. And besides, most things tend to be cheaper online than at those shopping centres. So why pay extra money to go to a place that makes you feel really quite uncomfortable.
>> No. 414101 Anonymous
3rd December 2017
Sunday 2:10 am
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I don't like the BBC Christmas indents this year, with the dancing girl and her goblin-like father.
>> No. 414102 Anonymous
3rd December 2017
Sunday 11:54 am
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>>414101


Is it because they are minorities? You racist
>> No. 414103 Anonymous
3rd December 2017
Sunday 12:13 pm
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>>414102

Cutting satire as ever, Si.
>> No. 414107 Anonymous
3rd December 2017
Sunday 3:58 pm
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>>414102
The dad looks like a racist caricature. If you'd asked one of those racist cartoonists to draw a "dirty stinking fat Arab" then the end result wouldn't be too far off what the BBC ended up with.

Imagine the outcry if it was a black dad and they'd given him great big coon lips or a gorilla nose.
>> No. 414114 Anonymous
3rd December 2017
Sunday 11:49 pm
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqBF7TiyATo
>> No. 414121 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:17 pm
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I've got a week to buy a secret Santa present and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I'm relatively new to the company so I thought it'd be an idea to at least make an effort to join in before becoming a miser, but I've now got to buy something for a woman I don't really know much about despite seeing her every day. I asked someone today for suggestions and they said she's one of the most difficult people to buy for because she doesn't drink alcohol at home and she's not really into chocolate or anything like that.
>> No. 414122 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:21 pm
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>>414121
This is one of the reasons I don't get involved in Secret Santa if I can help it.
>> No. 414123 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:26 pm
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>>414121
Get her a vibrator. Can't go wrong.
>> No. 414124 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:49 pm
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>>414122
I know. I joined in against my better judgement. I may just do what I usually do and let my other half sort it out.

>>414123
I think I've blown that window of opportunity by asking for suggestions and losing my full anonymity. I have heard in previous years that people have been bought things like butt plugs.
>> No. 414125 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:52 pm
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>>414124
Ah, the perfect unisex gift.
>> No. 414126 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 5:55 pm
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Ah, I stumbled across this, and wondered who the fuck would need one (or ten - dunno what your secret santa budget is).

https://www.banggood.com/Mochi-Dingding-Squishy-Squeeze-Cute-Healing-Toy-Kawaii-Collection-Fun-Joke-Gift-Decor-p-1126040.html?rmmds=detail-bottom-alsobought&cur_warehouse=CN

Enjoy!
>> No. 414127 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 6:02 pm
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>>414072
He was great in Him & Her.
>> No. 414128 Anonymous
4th December 2017
Monday 7:44 pm
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>>414072
>> No. 414146 Anonymous
5th December 2017
Tuesday 8:53 pm
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>>414114
It's a shame he gave up on Bo. I really don't get Keith lemon.
>> No. 414147 Anonymous
5th December 2017
Tuesday 9:52 pm
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>>414146
Bo Selecta ran out of scheme fairly quickly. With Keith Lemon he doesn't have to even pretend to try anymore.
>> No. 414148 Anonymous
5th December 2017
Tuesday 10:06 pm
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>>414147
I don't understand who he's trying to appeal to. Drunk women, gay blokes?
>> No. 414149 Anonymous
5th December 2017
Tuesday 10:15 pm
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>>414148
Thickos. It's not like they're in short supply.
>> No. 414150 Anonymous
6th December 2017
Wednesday 12:09 am
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>>414148

The unwashed masses, basically. There's plenty of people who think he's a genius. (not that Bo Selecta was high brow, anyway)
>> No. 414155 Anonymous
9th December 2017
Saturday 11:59 am
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I spent lots of time time dancing and talking with a co-worker I have always fancied last night at the work christmas party (I am pretty sure she fancies me too).

I am pretty sure we will have created a bit of office gossip, but this morning I am very glad it went no further than flirting. As nice as it would have been to wake up next to her this morning, it would have made work rather complicated.
>> No. 414156 Anonymous
9th December 2017
Saturday 12:24 pm
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>>414155
I had my Christmas party last night, too. Considering it was a free bar and the amount I drank I'm pleasantly surprised I didn't make a massive tit of myself.
>> No. 414157 Anonymous
9th December 2017
Saturday 1:07 pm
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I've got some minging sinusitis and I think I'll use it as an excuse to avoid going to my Christmas do tonight. We've paid 35 quid and it turns out its a fucking buffet. The bird who always flirts with me when she's drunk isn't going. And it's fucking freezing. I can't be arsed.
>> No. 414171 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:57 am
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>>414148
>>414150

I don't own a TV, and I sneer at most shows when I catch a few minutes round someones house. I always thought the Keith Lemon stuff was infantile and lazy when I noticed, but once time I saw an episode and it was so absurdly hilarious that I was in shock.
>> No. 414172 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 10:31 am
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>>414171
Alright, Keith? How's it going?

Any snow where you are?
>> No. 414174 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 10:49 am
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>>414172
So is that just a thing .gs does now, even when it's completely inexplicable? Any time a comedian is praised some card will post this singularly brilliant witticism?
>> No. 414175 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 10:53 am
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>>414174
It's Internet wide. Whenever someone claims to like something, they must be shilling it.
>> No. 414176 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 11:03 am
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>>414174
>So is that just a thing .gs does now

It's well known that we don't do in-jokes and memes here due to our elitism over the likes of 4chan.
>> No. 414177 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 11:04 am
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>>414175

On places like reddit that is mostly true. Disney has spent an enormous amount of energy trying to make the star wars prequals ironically likable online.

I remember on here a few years back some naive fool on here not realizing 'Netflix and Chilli' was a viral campaign. They seemed to believe that companies wouldn't want their product associated with getting laid. Daft sod.
>> No. 414178 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 11:07 am
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>>414176

I thought we did in jokes, but never memes. When we did it, it was completely different from chans which this site isn't and is nothing like.
>> No. 414179 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 11:17 am
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>>414178
Depends on whether the Kathmandu knobheads are around and wanting to reminisce about things that happened in 2008/09 at the very latest.
>> No. 414180 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 11:25 am
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>>414179
Please don't mention them, they might take it as an invitation.
>> No. 414185 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 2:27 pm
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>>414177
>'Netflix and Chilli' was a viral campaign
[citation needed]
>> No. 414188 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 4:39 pm
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>>414185

> [citation needed]

Please stop doing this you tiresome bellend.
>> No. 414189 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 4:40 pm
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>>414188
That doesn't look much like a source to me.
>> No. 414193 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:33 pm
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>>414155

Me again.

I think its too late. We admitted we have feelings for each other and now we can't take that back.

Either I shoot her down (or she shoots me down) - creating immediate awkwardness, or I break one of those unwritten workplace rules and pursue her - leading to awkwardness in future when we give each other special treatment or if we break up.
>> No. 414194 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:34 pm
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>>414193
Just shag her lad and make something out of it. Who knows, you might even find happiness.
>> No. 414195 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:39 pm
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>>414193

Life's too short, lad. Ask her out for a drink - outside of work.
>> No. 414196 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:41 pm
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>>414193
Have you seen the most recent South Park episode?
>> No. 414197 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 9:44 pm
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>>414195
I think having a drink at work would be better.
>> No. 414198 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 10:05 pm
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>>414197
Or a shag.
>> No. 414200 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 1:31 pm
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>>414198
Go the whole hog and give her a good Arse Pissing.
>> No. 414208 Anonymous
11th December 2017
Monday 5:31 pm
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>>414193

You're not going to work at this place forever, are you? And even if you end up together with this lass- You probably won't be forever. If you answer yes to either of those then yeah, better nip it in the bud.

If no, then... Well, it would have been wiser to leave it well enough alone, but the cat's out of the bag now isn't it. Plus you can keep things spicy by not telling anyone at work you're going out and having sex in the store room.
>> No. 414231 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 9:38 pm
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>>414193 again.

So we seem to be pretending it never happened.

I think there are a group of the girls at work that are trying to get us together though - smiling knowingly when they see us both. I suppose they think we would be a cute couple because we are both kind of awkward. The truth is though that I don't think we have much in common except a mutual desire to get jiggy.
>> No. 414232 Anonymous
12th December 2017
Tuesday 9:45 pm
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>>414231
>a mutual desire to get jiggy.

You're saying that like it's a bad thing.

Anyway, I've recently discovered that fanny batter is the ultimate remedy for cracked skin on your knuckles so I fully endorse you go and fill your boots.
>> No. 414275 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 8:48 pm
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Today was Secret Santa day. I got a bottle of Southern Comfort. I can't complain; someone else got a blow up doll.

On an unrelated note, there was shit on the wall in the toilets at work.
>> No. 414276 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 1:04 am
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Getting close, get hyped lads.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbPyB_UxI8M
>> No. 414277 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 12:21 pm
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I had my boss's OK, although not in writing, that I would get to take time off between Christmas and New Year's Eve. But today, she asked me if I could come in "for a day or two" after all, because she would "value my input on a particular project". Which is really her way of saying "If you don't come in, you'll go on my shit list". She is a master at these little games... like many women are, I suppose.
>> No. 414278 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 12:26 pm
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>>414276
Run Rudolph Run is chronically underplayed at Christmas.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuGzQHTRUrI
>> No. 414279 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 12:39 pm
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>>414275

The awfulness of wherever you work escalated at neck breaking speed during your post.
>> No. 414280 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 12:55 pm
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>>414279
It's the first place I've worked where there's a sizeable number of lads in their twenties and early thirties, so it can get a bit laddish at times. Showing each other pictures of women in bikinis on their phones, things like that.

I've been there about 7 months and it's the second incident of someone leaving poo where it shouldn't have been; the other was leaving a nugget on the floor in the bogs.
>> No. 414281 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 1:07 pm
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>>414280
I would use the new year to find a new job.
>> No. 414282 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 1:57 pm
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>>414281
It's honestly not as bad as it sounds. There's no workplace drama or anything so I can get my head down, do my work and then fuck off home afterwards.
>> No. 414283 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 3:36 pm
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>>414282
That's kind of proving his point - anywhere that you feel you have to keep your head down and fuck off home isn't ideal.
>> No. 414284 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 3:52 pm
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>>414283
It is if that's what he prefers.
>> No. 414288 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 4:19 pm
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>>414283
No, I don't feel I have to. I mean, as in I can do my job and leave it at the door and that's that.

The last place I worked at there was always office politics and drama because there was four women who'd always be arguing with each other, shouting at one another, gossiping and generally shit stirring. There's nothing like that here; it's laid back.
>> No. 414289 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 4:24 pm
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>>414288
What kind of a job/workplace is it? What do you actually do?
>> No. 414291 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 7:40 pm
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>>414289
The type of place where they'll regularly quote things like Big Shaq.

>Two plus two is four
>Minus one that's three
>Quick maths
>> No. 414292 Anonymous
15th December 2017
Friday 7:50 pm
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>>414291

Man's been using ironic endz yoot lingo an ting at work for ages, then Big fucking Shaq came along and everyone's doing it. Bastard.
>> No. 414294 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 1:32 am
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>>414291

You're an MP then?
>> No. 414295 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 1:47 am
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>>414292
Who is man? I've not been familiar with street slang since secondary school, blud.
>> No. 414296 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 6:56 am
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>>414295


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M_5oYU-IsU
>> No. 414298 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 12:24 pm
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>>414296
This explains nothing.
>> No. 414300 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 1:25 pm
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>>414298
Welcome to modern Britain.
>> No. 414301 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 2:22 pm
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I have no idea what to buy my Dad this year.

Suggestions please.
>> No. 414302 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 2:31 pm
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>>414301
Well what's he into?
>> No. 414303 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 2:41 pm
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>>414302
Sitting and watching sport at home on his huge TV. He is 70.
>> No. 414304 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 2:51 pm
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>>414303
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Comfortable-Wooden-Rocking-footrest-support/dp/B00BP9UVCM
>> No. 414306 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 3:16 pm
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>>414304

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Remote-Control-Armrest-Organizer-12-Inch/dp/B06X18DG9C/
>> No. 414307 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 3:29 pm
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>>414304>>414306

I want both of these things and I'm 23; troubling.
>> No. 414308 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 4:29 pm
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>>414307
Me too - the armrest organiser is kind of genius and deeply tacky. I love it.
>> No. 414309 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 4:44 pm
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>>414301>>414303
My Dad isn't too dissimilar from this.

Christmas invariably involves buying him dark chocolate, Thorntons toffee and a few DVDs; last year I got him Dad's Army, Fury and something else which I've forgotten completely.

I believe the only time he's asked for anything specific in the past decade was when he was running low on Boss Orange, so that's one year out of the past ten I've got him something different.
>> No. 414310 Anonymous
16th December 2017
Saturday 5:14 pm
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>>414308

Oh, hang on, I thought the teapot and flowers were included. I think what I actually want is a teapot and flowers. The foot stool is great though, as I type this I've got my feet up on my coffee table.

>>414309

Parents are so difficult, I bought my dad an Airfix DB5 last year and he never even touched it, prick.
>> No. 414324 Anonymous
17th December 2017
Sunday 1:07 am
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>>414310
>Parents are so difficult, I bought my dad an Airfix DB5 last year and he never even touched it, prick.

I totally get this sentiment - I have bad news, you get the same when you have kids, too.
>> No. 414377 Anonymous
18th December 2017
Monday 9:17 pm
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New League of Gentlemen tonight, lads.
>> No. 414384 Anonymous
18th December 2017
Monday 11:16 pm
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>>414377
Was good wunnit!
>> No. 414385 Anonymous
18th December 2017
Monday 11:18 pm
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>>414384
The first 10 minutes or so felt largely flat; it only really got going when Pauline's scene started.
>> No. 414386 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 8:28 am
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>>414384
We literally have an occupying army firing on unarmed British citizens and you think it's appropriate to withdraw into a surreal comedy. Shame on you!
>> No. 414402 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 9:55 pm
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If you think about it, a Chocolate Orange is the perfect murder weapon.

You can hold in your hand like a rock and an unbroken one is about as hard as it, too. If you gave someone a proper thwack on the head with a Chocolate Orange then you could easily smash in their skull and cause brain damage.

All you need to then is simply take it out the foil and eat it. You've disposed of the evidence.
>> No. 414404 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 10:27 pm
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>>414402
I have never considered the use of confectionery as an offensive weapon, but now you mention it..

I reckon you could fuck someone up with one of those big Toblerone.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toblerone-Milk-Chocolate-Jumbo-4-5kg/dp/B004INT01A
>> No. 414406 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 10:53 pm
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>>414404
Won't the spacing be all different on those now and therefore be less effective at battering someone?
>> No. 414407 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 10:59 pm
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>>414406
They'll just leave a different pattern on their face.
>> No. 414408 Anonymous
19th December 2017
Tuesday 11:10 pm
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>>414404
I picked one up the other day, they were in Morrisons for about £50, and it felt a bit to cumbersome to wield effectively as a weapon.

I want to try the Poundland knock-off version, but that would entail going in Poundland.
>> No. 414410 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 12:15 am
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>>414402
Just gotta put it in the freezer lad. Then you can drop them off buildings and hope for the best.
>> No. 414411 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 12:54 am
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>>414408
How do you have that sort of money to spend on a giant toblerone?
>> No. 414412 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 1:20 am
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>>414411
I assume he meant he literally picked on up.
>> No. 414413 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 6:44 am
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>>414412
This. I picked it up off the shelf, gauged its weight in my hands and then put it back.
>> No. 414419 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 2:25 pm
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>>414408
I don't like Christmas that much to be honest - regularly threaten my family that we should do the entire thing from Poundland.
>> No. 414420 Anonymous
20th December 2017
Wednesday 2:30 pm
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>>414419
Won't they be closed on Christmas day?
>> No. 414462 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 5:08 pm
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>>414419
Talking of Poundland, they just tweeted this corker - going for a last minute viral campaign I guess.
>> No. 414463 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 5:31 pm
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>>414462

It'd be nice to be cynical and assume they did it deliberately to get angry tweets for publicity, but it's probably more likely they just actually thought it was funny.
>> No. 414465 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 5:41 pm
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>>414463
Both of those things are cynical.
>> No. 414466 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 5:58 pm
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>>414463
It is very funny but no doubt at all they did it for the publicity and outrage it would generate. Whats's not to love about the Elf on the Shelf tea bagging Barbie?

Twinings are having none of it, the miserable bastards.
>> No. 414468 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 7:20 pm
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I was speaking to one of my work colleagues today and she's got her son £140 Nike Air trainers, a North Face jacket and a load of Armani T-shirts and boxers for Christmas.

He's twelve.
>> No. 414469 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 7:24 pm
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>>414468
What is the right amount of money to spend on a twelve-year old?

I got mine one of these, it's what he asked for.
>> No. 414472 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 7:43 pm
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>>414469
When I was 12 my parents bought me a PS2 for Christmas. I got years of use out of it.

How long do you think a 12 year old will fit into his £140 trainers? If they last more than half a year you'll be doing well.

Apparently he must have £100+ trainers because he'd get bullied otherwise. She's only bought him a new North Face jacket because he'd coloured the badge on his existing one with a highlighter pen... because he's a child and that's what they do.
>> No. 414473 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 7:52 pm
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>>414472
>because he'd get bullied otherwise

That is clearly bullshit, agree with you about "how much use" you get out of something. My kids and I recently discussed how "cheap" the PS4 we bought four years ago was, given the number of hours of fun we have had out of it.
>> No. 414474 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:02 pm
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>>414472

Is north face really a meaningful brand name, sort out side of mountaineering circles, and middle age middle managers with affectation that they are mountaineers?

I would just imagine getting beat up in school for wearing something designed for a practical purpose over looking cool.
>> No. 414475 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:04 pm
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>>414473
It is weapons grade bullshit, but boys are definitely more aware of how they look these days.

When I was 12 I didn't really care what my hair looked like, some kids had bowl hair cuts or curtains but mine was generally short all over, and I used to think I was the shit in my grey Adidas tracky bottoms with red trim, white stripes and a little zip to turn them into flares with matching grey Adidas top. These days they look like mini-models with their short back and sides with Pidgeotto hair on top and designer clothes.
>> No. 414476 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>414474

Yes, it's a big streetwear brand these days.
>> No. 414477 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:30 pm
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>>414476

I see. Is it the practical high grade high price stuff, or just the low end t-shirt with a brand name on stuff?
>> No. 414478 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:43 pm
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>>414477
The low-end stuff is streetwear - some of the very high-end GoreTex jackets and trousers are still very good, but Real Mountaineers™ tend to get a bit snooty because it is so popular now.
>> No. 414479 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 8:49 pm
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>>414477

The latter - you can buy North Face branded tracksuits and trainers from JD Sports.

https://www.jdsports.co.uk/men/brand/the-north-face/

There's no money in technical gear. Only a handful of people are actually buying smocks with pit zips and cordura-reinforced salopettes. They don't buy much of it and they wear it until it disintegrates. With the exception of Buffalo, every outdoor clothing brand is really in the business of selling Goretex jackets and down gilets to dog walkers. The technical gear is effectively a marketing expense to make the rest of their range look hardcore, like car companies building racing cars.
>> No. 414480 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 10:08 pm
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I was lead to believe that nobody shopped in physical stores anymore but traffic has been an absolute piss-take this week. Not even at peak times like you would expect but today at 2pm was rammed.

Where are all these people going? Do they not have work?

>>414468
I reckon if someone gave her son a good mugging for wearing that swag it will teach them both a valuable life lesson. Come on lads, if we work together I think we can take him.

Might even be carrying enough to buy a few soleros for our trouble.
>> No. 414482 Anonymous
21st December 2017
Thursday 10:17 pm
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>>414478

I am one of those snooty mountaineers I was trying to work out if I was accidently cool.

On that note-
>>414479
>The latter - you can buy North Face branded tracksuits and trainers from JD Sports.
Eww.

>With the exception of Buffalo, every outdoor clothing brand is really in the business of selling Goretex jackets and down gilets to dog walkers. The technical gear is effectively a marketing expense to make the rest of their range look hardcore, like car companies building racing cars.

I'm not sure that is 100% true but I take your point. The race care analogy is probably a good one, Race cars tend to lead the way in tech experiments for RnD for what becomes common place a few years down the line the same is true of mountaineering gear.
>> No. 414483 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 12:30 am
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>>414482
Me too - we will never be cool.
>> No. 414486 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 4:23 am
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>>414482

It's fairly easy to spot the dumbing-down of outdoor clothing if you know what you're looking for. Some very useful technical features tend to get removed - wire peaks and volume restrictors on hoods, pit zips, elasticated waistbands, thumb loops. The cut is different - technical tops are tight around the waist, they have longer sleeves with higher armholes, they're much longer in the back and have a bit of extra room in the shoulders for mobility. The pockets are often a dead giveaway - dog walkers like handwarmer pockets near the waistband, but technical users need pockets that are high enough to clear a hip belt or a harness and big enough to hold an OS map. Smocks are warmer and lighter than jackets, but dog walkers don't like pulling a garment over their head.

Rab used to be a serious mountaineering brand and still sell a few good bits of kit, but they were sold in 2003 and quickly started to dumb-down. I own loads of Vapour-Rise stuff, but most of their catalogue is now almost comically non-technical. They sell £65 button-down shirts, denim jeans, parkas with faux-fur on the hood and even slippers.
>> No. 414490 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 3:11 pm
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For 95% of the conditions you'll face in this country, the clothing a lot of people buy is overkill anyway.
It really tickles me to stroll up somewhere like the Brecon Beacons wearing a shabby army-surplus parker and doc martens, and walking past a procession of hikers wearing the type of kit you could get up the Swiss Alps in.
>> No. 414491 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 3:25 pm
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>>414490

If they are wearing decent waterproofs you probably need them more in Brecon Beacons. If they are wearing B3s you are right to laugh.
>> No. 414493 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 4:27 pm
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>>414490
I regularly walk in the Peak District, often around Kinder - it turns nasty up there very quickly, even in summer. I always have a chuckle when I see people dressed like you.
>> No. 414494 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 5:35 pm
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>>414493
I like to get cold and wet because at least that way I can feel something.
>> No. 414495 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 6:11 pm
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>>414494
Oh I'm with you on that, it's the reason I go to the Peak District in the first place - just isn't the same when the sun is out.
>> No. 414496 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 8:01 pm
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>>414480
What is normally a 10 minute stroll to Morrisons on my lunch break felt like being in Dawn of The Dead. I understand why stores don't give staff proper box cutters, because I would've gone stab happy, with the arrogant cunts in there today.
>> No. 414497 Anonymous
22nd December 2017
Friday 8:16 pm
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>>414496
My local Tesco is open 24 hours, I'm doing the main shop in the middle of the night tonight for just that reason.
>> No. 414499 Anonymous
23rd December 2017
Saturday 12:23 am
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I finally got a present for my mum. She's getting a Black & Decker Dust Buster. It's one of those handheld vacuum cleaners.

I just hope she won't think it sucks
>> No. 414500 Anonymous
23rd December 2017
Saturday 1:33 am
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>>414497

I really miss living almost bang next door to a 24 hour Tesco. I only used to shop at 2am and it was great.
>> No. 414502 Anonymous
23rd December 2017
Saturday 1:48 am
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I have three left to buy. I have left some of the bigger ones until last but I have loads of the small ones and shit. I like buying them, I fucking hate wrapping.
>> No. 414508 Anonymous
23rd December 2017
Saturday 6:54 am
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>>414502
Put everything in gift bags. It's what they were invented for.
>> No. 414520 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 3:43 pm
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That's it, I'm done. Presents all acquired, wrapping paper and scissors at the ready - let's get fucking drunk.
>> No. 414521 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 5:07 pm
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Christmas is shit, I hate my family, I feel embarrassed about eating so much food.

I'm so over this shite. I usually try my best and go around being all "Merry Christmas!" just like the Muppets want me to, but I can't be arsed this year. Just let me stay in bed and leave a bit of quail or whatever poor animal mum decided to eat this year.
>> No. 414522 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 5:51 pm
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The give a prime slot to The Snowman, and now also The Snowman and the Snowdog, yet Raymond Briggs' Father Christmas is far greater than them both but always gets overlooked.
>> No. 414523 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 8:18 pm
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>>414522

Brown Sauce? Daddy's Favourite Sauce?
>> No. 414524 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 9:00 pm
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>>414522
>Raymond Briggs
I'll never be able to forget that he also did ''When the Wind Blows''
Now that would make nice prime-time viewing for the whole family on Christmas.
>> No. 414525 Anonymous
24th December 2017
Sunday 11:58 pm
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>>414524
The animation on that one's fair shite.
>> No. 414526 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 12:05 am
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IT'S BRITFAAAAAAAA.GS!
>> No. 414527 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 12:05 am
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Merry Christmas, ladmates.
>> No. 414528 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 12:51 am
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I always leave it till morning to wrap my presents, stupidly.
>> No. 414529 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 1:12 am
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>>414524

"When the Wind Blows" is greatly underappreciated as a brilliant bit of satire.

And it's based on a true story.
>> No. 414530 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 1:33 am
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>>414529
What exactly it is supposed to satirise? It's a quite grounded portrayal of how an elderly English couple might behave in a nuclear attack. If you suggest it satirises official government advice, then please note that, as I've posted before on these boards, they did everything right and successfully prevented initial injury, but made the error of leaving their dwelling and exposing themselves to fallout.
>> No. 414531 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 1:53 am
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Merry Christmas lads.
>> No. 414535 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 2:04 am
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amazed I made it this far

not an achievement
>> No. 414537 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 8:02 am
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>>414529

This is the first I've heard of that animation and it sounds fucking harrowing.
>> No. 414538 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 8:13 am
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>>414537

Not as harrowing as Threads, IMO.
>> No. 414539 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 9:38 am
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>>414530
Some of the suggestions (such as painting the windows white and closing the curtains) were quizzed for comic value (though followed) if I recall correctly. Intuitively , it's laughable to suggest that you should close your curtains to protect yourself from a nuclear bomb even if it does make sense in that they might catch flying glass and absorb less heat/light once you have that explained.
But (in re-reading it) the main line of satire i'd pick up on would be their faith - lead in from WW2 - that government (a) knew what it was doing and (b) would protect them. Of course, despite the impressive list of acronyms from NATO James rolls off that did them no good because the bomb did drop, and after that the government wasn't in any state to be turning off water and electricity to conserve it - because as we learned from Threads they're stuck under a council building unable to so much as control their own rescue. So without really understanding what they're doing, they try to follow the arbitrary and contradictory orders ("keep doors closed", "but you've taken half the doors off..", in one leaflet it says to remove thin fabric from windows - the other says to put up white sheets...) they've got from government departments that bashed them out as basically hypothetical exercises (and as fallible humans, screw up a bit.) and die, still trusting that the government's got higher plans and is in control. Maybe it's just me being cynical, but I don't wager their chances would be much better if they'd stayed under their doors for 14 days.

Why I'd say that's satire is that you can then read that onto the then-present of the 1980s: if the government has no idea what it's doing and can't help you after the bomb drops, shouldn't you do something to stop the bomb dropping?
>> No. 414540 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 10:42 am
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>>414537
Where The Wind Blows is one of the things that gets brought up every few months or so here.
>> No. 414541 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 10:57 am
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>>414539

You make some broadly reasonable points, but I can't help but argue the toss a bit.

The advice that would have been given by the government was crystal-clear and based on a solid body of evidence. Both sides in the cold war painstakingly analysed the aftermath of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and learned a great deal in the process. Most of the residents of those cities survived a nuclear attack, but the difference between life and death was surprisingly modest.

Obviously a bit of white paint and some bags of soil aren't going to protect you against a direct hit, but good civil preparedness would have saved hundreds of thousands of lives in the event of a nuclear war. Perhaps the most striking example I can give is that some Japanese nuclear survivors had the pattern of their clothing burned into their skin. Thousands of people were horrifically burned on one side of their body and completely unharmed on the other. It doesn't take a lot to protect from thermal flash.

The advice on fallout was, if anything, overly cautious. The peak radiation dose in the crater of a nuclear blast is about 30 grays per hour, versus the average lethal acute dose of about 3 grays. This sounds bleak, but the residual radiation from a nuclear bomb decays by a factor of ten every seven hours. After 49 hours in your shelter, the fallout is ten million times less radioactive - 0.000003 grays/hr in the worst-affected areas. Fallout would have undoubtedly created an elevated risk of some cancers in the long-term, but with adequate preparation it wouldn't have contributed to the immediate death toll.

If you haven't seen the Protect and Survive films, I highly recommend it. Aside from being cheery seasonal viewing, they're a masterclass in effective communication. It's clear that the production team were exceptionally skilled and treated their duty with absolute seriousness.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6U9T3R3EQg
>> No. 414542 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 11:04 am
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>>414541

I imagine the size of the bomb would be a lot bigger than the two in Japan. Would that make a difference for the aftermath, or just a larger blast radius?

What a fucking tangent anyway lads. On Jesus's birthday an'all. For shame.

Merry Christmas all.
>> No. 414543 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 11:49 am
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>>414541
I don't dispute most of the stuff you say about nuclear war - as I said, the advice to paint your windows and whatever only seems stupid if you don't know the justification. It's perfectly sensible. Though I got the bit about contradictory advice in the comic itself. Thick curtains only, or white sheets? Unless the county-council leaflet was a total fiction, it doesn't seem unreasonable stuff like that would slip through into real advice material.
I did nearly go on a tangent that relates to the films though - the films and leaflets are written/spoken in a detached style. I forget the exact wording, but there is a bit in the comic that's basically "To pass the time engage in recreational activity" which is more like a scientist analysing human behaviour than something anyone actually does. It's a sort of serious scientific "callousness" to the whole affair. (The thing that sticks with me is that if you have a corpse, you should wrap it in binliners and put it in a shallow trench with a tag. It's all very anonymous and hypothetical when you put it like that...) I actually kind of like that detached science-class style to the more chummy style of modern government communication, but hey.

I guess the gap between scientific model and reality is also in large part why both it and Threads work. In the leaflets and in the PIFs, you have nice clean diagrams, drawings and models showing you a door against a roof - maybe the roof gets a hole in it once the bomb drops, but it's all very clean and procedural. The nasty bit is left to your imagination - and you've normally got no reference for that either. In When the Wind Blows and especially in Threads, you actually see the chaos of a bombed out house with people sheltering in a damp and dingy basement or under a set of puke soaked doors, eating a tin of raw beans. It's so much more messy than in the adverts, even if you do everything right and come through it okay. It's not exactly spending a night sleeping on an underground station platform in the Blitz.

If I recall correctly, the Protect & Survive fims were made by the same studio that did Charley Says.
>> No. 414544 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 12:41 pm
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>>414542

About 5-10% of the energy of a bomb becomes fallout. Regardless of the size of the bomb, fallout decays away to insignificance within a matter of weeks.

Bigger bombs have a bigger blast radius, but most of the energy goes straight up into the air, so the blast radius only increases with the cube root of the bomb's yield. To double the blast radius, you need to increase the yield by a factor of eight. Later ICBMs used multiple small warheads to try and evade nuclear defence systems, so their yield isn't that much greater; Fat Man was about 20 kilotons, versus the 100 kiloton warheads carried on Trident.

>>414543

Local authorities may hypothetically have provided their own civil defence materials, but there was a national infrastructure in place. Protect and Survive information would have been broadcast on all TV and radio stations and every household would have been sent a booklet. There were also substantial contingency plans for continuity of government, with 17 bunkers that were each capable of functioning as a temporary national government. If you're ever in Essex or Cheshire, you can visit one of the regional seats of government:

http://www.secretnuclearbunker.co.uk/
http://www.hackgreen.co.uk/

I think that the relatively detached and sterile tone of Protect and Survive was intended to foster a sense of calm urgency. If people panicked and fled to the countryside, they'd be as good as dead. They would have no proper protection from fallout and the post-attack government wouldn't have the logistical capacity to keep them fed. On the other hand, a complacent or resigned population might fail to take the steps that could save their life. People need to understand the scale of the threat posed, but still need to believe that a nuclear attack is survivable. I think that Protect and Survive got the balance right, very calmly telling people "do as you are told, or we'll leave you to die". The soothing tones of Patrick Allen didn't hurt. If they had gone in with the full shock treatment, a lot of people might have just given up hope and ran towards the blast.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2wVhbMhHv4

Surviving a nuclear attack would have undoubtedly been utterly grim, but a lot of people still believe that "surviving a nuclear attack" is an oxymoron. The hysteria over nuclear weapons was probably a huge asset to non-proliferation efforts, but it was also a huge threat to the civilian population in the event of a nuclear war.
>> No. 414545 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 12:50 pm
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>>414522
It's on at 2pm.
>> No. 414546 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 1:04 pm
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It would only take three or four well placed Trident or equivalent payloads to doom our entire island. Only those in the farthest reaches of the strikes would escape third degree burns or guaranteed fatal radiation levels, the majority of the 'lucky' survivors would succumb within weeks, and anyone else would almost surely still develop debilitating cancers within months.
>> No. 414547 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 2:00 pm
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>>414546
That or turn into the X-Men.
>> No. 414548 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 2:33 pm
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>>414524
Jim and Hilda Bloggs are in the pub in Scotland, it's also Ernest Briggs delivering the milk to Buckingham Palace, which means that, in the Raymond Briggs universe, it's highly likely that Father Christmas was killed by nukes.
>> No. 414549 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 2:49 pm
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>>414548
>the Raymond Briggs universe
Has a Wikia been started yet?
>> No. 414550 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 3:15 pm
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>>414546
Well, atleast I have something to look forward to
>> No. 414551 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 3:24 pm
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>>414543
>there is a bit in the comic that's basically "To pass the time engage in recreational activity"

Imagine the death-toll if the bombs fell over Christmas.
>> No. 414552 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 3:51 pm
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>>414539
I'm 90% sure the leaflets they read in the original comic were real ones. It says online either way, it's not just guesswork.
>> No. 414553 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 4:44 pm
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Fuck Monopoly. Seriously, it must be the most boring board game out there.
>> No. 414554 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:24 pm
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>>414553
Someone else is always really good at it, too.
>> No. 414555 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:42 pm
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>>414554
We'd been playing for about two and a half hours and nobody had really got anywhere, possibly because nobody was able to acquire a full colour set, before losing the will to live.

It's even worse when we have games like Ticket to Ride or Articulate available to play instead, but some little knobheads my own kids insisted on Monopoly.
>> No. 414556 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:43 pm
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>>414554

I am one of those people who is 'really good at it' and I still think it is shit. Because it is shit. I've spent a lot of time thinking about why people like it, and I've come to the conclusion that it is 1)a lack of knowledge of things that aren't shit, (The UK is massively lagging in terms of mainstream not shit 'adult' games) 2)nostaligia, 3)some fantasy of how good it could be, but it never is or has been.

I once had a conversation with an ex game designers at Hasbro who was in charge of trying to make the game not shit (he made the force awakens star wars version) he made it so that the game only lasts an hour max, by making it so once you have bought all the properties it ends. He couldn't understand why people don't realise it is shit either.
>> No. 414557 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:47 pm
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>>414556
I think it is partly familiarity - everyone knows the rules to Scrabble/Monopoly.
>> No. 414558 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:47 pm
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I got some new slippers. What was your best present lads?
>> No. 414559 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 5:59 pm
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>>414557

>I think it is partly familiarity
I agree but I think that in it self is terrible reason.

>everyone knows the rules to Scrabble/Monopoly
What is strange is that they really don't. People typically don't play the auctioning rule, and they make up rules so that people collect all the fines on free parking and things.

>>414558

I got a load of Bob Ross painting stuff. I'm really looking forward to painting happy trees and beating the devil out of my brush.
>> No. 414560 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 7:59 pm
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>>414559
House rules are typically the thing that ruins Monopoly. Played properly, the whole thing is supposed to be over within two hours. Failing to auction properties prolongs the game, and things like "parking fines" sustain it by keeping money in the game that was supposed to have been taken out. Some people use placeholders when they've run out of houses as if they were arbitrary tokens rather than a deliberately limited supply, which diminishes their strategic value.

Pretty much the only deviation from the rules I'll tolerate is the one-lap rule, since it adds at most half a dozen turns and given the game already does its level best to teach that life isn't fair, first move advantage is a bit much if you're not playing regularly enough to rotate positions.
>> No. 414561 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 8:15 pm
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>>414560

Monopoly is deliberately awful. It was originally published as The Landlord's Game by a Georgist by the name of Elizabeth Magie, who wanted to illustrate the evils of land speculation. The game was supposed to cause bitter and acrimonious disputes around the kitchen table, to spur people into action. The Landlord's Game included an alternate Georgist set of rules, in which the game was collectively won by all the players acting co-operatively. The game was pinched pretty much wholesale by Parker Brothers and published without the political commentary or the alternate set of rules.

The house rules that people dream up are an attempt to remove the acrimony of bankruptcy, but those rules inevitably turn the game into an interminable slog.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Landlord%27s_Game
>> No. 414562 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 8:37 pm
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Pretty much everything I got was Whiskey and Whiskey related paraphernalia.
>> No. 414563 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 9:07 pm
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Move along now, nothing happening here.
>> No. 414564 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 9:37 pm
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>>414558
£20 or in terms of more tangible goods I actually was running low on aftershave this year. I can't complain, I'm much too frugal and practical to shop for so I make a point of slipping it in that I don't like expensive gifts.

>>414563
You ever think that as a society we have it all backwards? The concrete block makers should be the ones doing our chocolate while nobody would give a fuck if cadbury trimmed the corners off concrete blocks.
>> No. 414565 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 9:58 pm
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>>414564
>The concrete block makers should be the ones doing our chocolate while nobody would give a fuck if cadbury trimmed the corners off concrete blocks.

Is this a wordfilter?
>> No. 414566 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 10:59 pm
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>>414565

See >>414563
>> No. 414567 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 11:03 pm
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There's a French and Saunders special on BBC One right now.

It's painfully unfunny. I don't understand how they keep getting on the telly as they haven't been funny together for at least 20 years.
>> No. 414568 Anonymous
25th December 2017
Monday 11:14 pm
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>>414567

Arrrhh EDIEEEEEE
>> No. 414570 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 2:19 am
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I always feel a bit melancholy at this point of the season. Too many of my family have died at this time of year, it is obvious why I approach it with dread. Still.
>> No. 414571 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 11:53 am
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I was told to make boxing day salad with tarragon so I made salad with tarragon but I'm not going to eat that.
>> No. 414572 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 12:00 pm
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>>414571
>boxing day salad

I guess my equivalent of this is when the Quality Street, Lindt balls and Chocolate Orange segments get mixed into the same tin.
>> No. 414573 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 12:18 pm
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Glad it's finally over, could do with more days off though.
>> No. 414574 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 2:15 pm
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>>414573
I have another week, which is wonderful. Like you, I enjoy the break and time off more than any of the festivities - this is a time of year to catch up on sleep/lie-ins.
>> No. 414575 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 3:08 pm
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>>414574
I've got 11 days off in a row and I only had to use 2 days of annual leave. Can't complain.

If only Prince Harry wasn't having his wedding on a weekend and we all could have had an extra day off in May.
>> No. 414578 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 3:57 pm
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>>414572
I'm making curried parsnip and apple soup, with fresh bread. There will be a pomegranate and tomato salad. That's about as Christmassy as I get.
>> No. 414579 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 6:09 pm
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>>414567
Your mum is painfully unfunny.
>> No. 414581 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 7:01 pm
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>>414579

That's no way to talk to Lenny Henry Jr.
>> No. 414582 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 9:25 pm
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>>414574

I was made redundant at my company effective December 15, so for the first time in years, I've actually got time off completely between Christmas and the New Year, as it were. It's kind of disspiriting to be given the heave-ho just before Christmas, with people now asking me all the time if I have to work between Christmas and New Year's, but I guess that's just life.

They were going to let me go as of the end of November, but because they needed my help finishing a project, they decided to keep me on till mid-December. They are "restructuring" where I work, which, as we all know, is always just a management euphemism for firing people. I wish them well, and I kind of think I am leaving at the right time. I've heard through my secret sources higher up that they're really not doing well, and that bankruptcy might loom on the horizon in the coming year.
>> No. 414583 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 10:14 pm
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As the kids say TFW you are out of booze and you're in your pyjamas and all the sops are shut. It might be 101worthy, but I am depressingly sober.
>> No. 414584 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 10:17 pm
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>>414582
Oh lad, sorry to hear that, never a nice process to go through, particularly at this time of year. What line of work are you in, will it take long to find something new?
>> No. 414585 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 11:15 pm
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>>414583
I got leathered the last couple of days - I have wine right now, but its a quiet cheeky glass than a full-on session. I think I might have had enough of drinking.
>> No. 414586 Anonymous
26th December 2017
Tuesday 11:37 pm
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>>414556
>he made the force awakens star wars version

I don't get why people "collect" different Monopoly sets, like I knew a few who've gushed over things like getting Game of Thrones Monopoly for Christmas when it's still the same shitty base game but with different tokens and property names.
>> No. 414587 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:37 am
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>>414584

I was working in sales strategy for a manufacturer of plastic parts. Our specialty was/is injection moulding polymer (i.e. plastic) parts for a wide range of consumer oriented end products. Big companies pay us to make parts for their consumer goods, which are then assembled into the finished products at their factories.

Business is tough, because as with anything, our customers can just as well have those parts made by suppliers in Southeast Asia, and at a fraction of the cost and at very nearly the same quality. My company was kind of hanging in there because we have a good reputation for parts for "performance" or "precision" applications. But the Chinese have been catching on in that niche as well.

There should be some way for me to get a new job in a similar field. I'll see if I can find something after the New Year. For the time being, I will just try to enjoy the free time between Christmas and New Year's, and get pissed and sleep in as much as I can. Who knows when I will get to have the whole second half of December off again.
>> No. 414588 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 1:27 am
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>>414587
>But the Chinese have been catching on in that niche as well.

I know exactly what you mean - my new favourite website is banggood.com - I have been using it to buy super-cheap RC aeroplane and drone parts - the prices and the quality the Chinese are turning out now is incredible, there is very little sign of the sacrifices or short-cuts in quality you used to find with such gear. I shopped around for some GoPro camera clones recently too, they are literally exactly the same as the GoPro's but about a tenth of the price and come with all the accessories - they still haven't got it right on things like the accompanying apps or documentation, but if you know what you're doing, it isn't a problem, and certainly doesn't justify the premium that GoPro charge.

I wish you the best of luck with your job hunting lad.
>> No. 414589 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:53 am
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>>414587
https://www.duolingo.com/course/zh-CN/en/Learn-Chinese-Online
>> No. 414590 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 11:54 am
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>>414586
I don't get it either, at least with different risk versions the geographical changes and that has impact on the strategy but Monopoly it doesn't it is just a new skin. Not that tone created by visuals isn't important to a game and pottentially creates a different experience, but most brand versions are usually the exact same base game with one additional shoe horned in rule most of which shit on the ballance of the orginal game.

This guy who made the 2015 star wars game as I said, didn't really like monopoly either. And consequently it is the only version of the game that feels remotely different. Most of the things that are actually the same the bastards in marketing over ruled him on changing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqHpWzosBws
>> No. 414591 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:12 pm
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>>414588
>the prices and the quality the Chinese are turning out now is incredible, there is very little sign of the sacrifices or short-cuts in quality you used to find with such gear.

For most manufacturers, it's a simple question of what you get for your money. If you can get polymer/plastic parts that are around 90 percent the quality of my (now ex) company's parts, but you only pay one third of our price for them from an Asian supplier, then most manufacturers will be more than happy to make that compromise. But in the end, it will also be one reason why your washing machine breaks down after just five years, or why certain parts in your car will fail prematurely.

As I mentioned, our promise is that we can make parts for applications where accuracy and durability are key. They can both affect an end product's longevity. But the way profit chains work nowadays, no manufacturer is interested in selling you consumer goods that will last a decade and a half. For example, my nan has had her washing machine for nearly 20 years and still swears by it, and it has never given her any trouble. But it also means no maker of washing machines has been able to sell my nan a new machine in the last 20 years. You see where I am going with this. In markets like that, where manufacturers depend on people regularly buying replacements, our selling points of precision and durability are no longer that important. So we were getting squeezed out of the market both from the direction of those selling points, and from the direction of production costs.
>> No. 414592 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:40 pm
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>>414591
Excuse my economic illiteracy but what makes Chinese parts of virtually identical quality shipped from thousands of miles away cheaper than domestic? Is it because they cut out all that pesky expense on things like worker rights and safe conditions?
>> No. 414595 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 12:51 pm
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>>414592

> Is it because they cut out all that pesky expense on things like worker rights and safe conditions

Pretty much that, yes.

All the labour costs, workplace safety and environmental restrictions mean that we've got many times the kind of overhead here in England than they've got in China. Also, they will usually have machines that were cheaper to buy because the Chinese now even build their own knock-off production machines.

Even with the cost of shipping, you will usually be able to offer a price to your customers that will be significantly below that of any manufacturer in Britain. Enough so that it will justify the fact that your parts will only be 90 percent the quality of what domestic suppliers would be able to produce for you.
>> No. 414596 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 2:00 pm
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>>414592

The quality Chinese factories don't look much different to a British factory, but there are some real shitholes at the bottom end of the market. Wages are considerably lower - the average salary in Guangdong province is about £6000, falling to less than half that in the rural northwest. Electricity is cheap, partly due to dirty coal power stations and partly due to the immense Three Gorges Dam. The government are fairly active in industrial development and will co-finance or subsidise a lot of manufacturing, particularly if it's high-tech or it'll create a lot of jobs in the less developed parts of China.

The sheer concentration of manufacturing activity means that there are enormous economies of scale. Manufacturers tend to cluster together, so your suppliers and customers are usually right on your doorstep. It's easy to buy cheap second-hand plant and tooling. There are plenty of highly skilled process engineers, so it's fast and easy to get a production line up and running. The labour market is flexible because of the large number of internal migrants, so you can recruit thousands of unskilled and semi-skilled production operatives in a matter of days.

This video is fairly representative of a modern mid-tier factory in the PRD - the kind of place that makes cheap knock-off electronics that you'll find on eBay or Banggood.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkAFDP5lmGg

This is fairly representative of a heavy, low-tech factory in a less developed province like Hunan or Qinghai. It's the kind of place that would make the crude metal parts of a tool you'd find in a poundshop. It's not a complete deathtrap, but you can see some blatant health and safety violations by western standards - no guards, no PPE, no dust control equipment, people working in close proximity to a gantry crane. It's pretty much as a British factory would have looked in the 60s or 70s.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlLP3Etr1Ns
>> No. 414598 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 2:58 pm
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>>414596

>the kind of place that makes cheap knock-off electronics that you'll find on eBay or Banggood.

The problem is that the way China and other Southeast Asian countries then flood the world markets with these cheaply produced, poor quality knock offs has an impact on consumers' perception of product quality. Yes, if they think about it, those consumers will probably agree with you that the quality is shit. But it is the level of quality that they have become accustomed to. It is also what their kind of money can buy most easily. And any kind of prestige effect that will still be emanating from brand name quality products will not be enough to compensate for the loss of sales. And it will be doubly hard for producers of higher-price quality goods to reach those kinds of segments of the consumer market.

And therefore, some brand-name manufacturers have quietly stepped down their product quality as well to have a chance in the markets after all. I got my parents a new microwave oven for Christmas the other year, as their old one was finally biting the dust after 15 years. The old one was a Bosch microwave, so I decided to get them a new one also from Bosch. Looking at them next to each other, the newer model appeared quite shit in overall haptic quality. The door on the old one would close with a healthy "click", sounding similar to a good German car. But the new one had a kind of metallic clanging sound to it when you shut the door. Also, the buttons on the new one just feel flimsy and fiddly compared to the old one, where the buttons had a feel to them like a good upmarket stereo amp. This is still a microwave that cost the better part of £200, mind you. And it is a brand-name Bosch one. Bosch is, or used to be, one of the best kitchen appliances brands you could hope to buy.
>> No. 414601 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 4:01 pm
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>>414598


The solution to the problem is to make it a requirement to state product shelf life at sale, and product guarantees last longer. Which as far as I am aware is what France now does.
>> No. 414602 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 4:14 pm
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>>414601

Warranties are basically meaningless, because no cunt ever keeps the receipt. The cost of honouring a long warranty is negligible compared to the cost savings of cutting corners.
>> No. 414603 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 4:20 pm
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>>414601

It's still going to be simple maths for manufacturers.

How much is it going to cost them to extend warranties and then have to replace an item if it breaks down during that extended warranty. And will it in fact be cheaper to keep making shit products because the money you save with low quality parts will still outweigh your liabilities that arise from longer warranties?

Also, for the consumer, it will be swings and roundabouts. They will not necessarily associate poorer product quality with your item just because they got free repairs or a free replacement within the warranty.

Most consumer goods are now calculated to last no longer than five years either way. And I don't think you can realistically ask manufacturers to put in place warranties that will be longer than that, except for a few high quality products where you get a lifetime warranty, e.g. swiss army knives or other noteworthy items.

My prediction is that the longer warranty periods mandated by law in France, if that's really the case, will not increase product durability. Manufacturers will probably much more try to save yet more money on the production end. And you will probably get shit service if your product does break down within the warranty.
>> No. 414605 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 6:53 pm
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I've been given a £50 voucher for WH Smith. What on earth am I going to spend £50 on there? Overpriced books and stationery?
>> No. 414606 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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>>414605

I think they merged with modelzone so you could get a pretty sweet Hornby Railway.
>> No. 414607 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:12 pm
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>>414605
I used to love WH Smith - stationery shops are like pure sex to me. It is a pale shadow of its former self.
>> No. 414608 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:19 pm
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>>414607

Why? what changed?
>> No. 414609 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:25 pm
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>>414606
They do own Modelzone, but it doesn't look like they actually have any Airfix, Hornby, Scalextric, etc., online.

>>414607
I can't remember a time when their stores didn't look like a tatty disorganised mess. They're selling DVDs for £19 and board games for at least a tenner more than you can get them elsewhere. I've no idea how they're still in business.
>> No. 414610 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:31 pm
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>>414609

>They're selling DVDs for £19 and board games for at least a tenner more than you can get them elsewhere. I've no idea how they're still in business.

I imagine getting people to buy £50 gift cards that the recievers of can't ever find a use for, is highly profitable.
>> No. 414611 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:37 pm
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Lads, do the January sales still start in January or are the deals I'm seeing now about as good as it will get? I'm just looking for an ereader but it seems like there is fuck all chance of them getting reduced.

It's curious because not only are the knockoff brands are more expensive but there doesn't seem like anything like the kind of sales going on that I remember.
>> No. 414612 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:45 pm
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>>414611
Rule of thumb these days is that the sales start on Boxing Day...
>> No. 414613 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 7:49 pm
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>>414611
Most sales started on Boxing Day, if not earlier.

The best electronics deal I've seen is that John Lewis are prepared to price match on a 40" Samsung 4K ultra HD smart TV for £289.

https://johnlewis.com/samsung-ue40mu6120-hdr-4k-ultra-hd-smart-tv-40-inch-with-tvplus-black/p3321406

There's been quite a few decent XBox One/PS4 bundles, too.
>> No. 414614 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 8:48 pm
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>>414608

They can't figure out how to improve turnover and they've been facing much higher rents in many locations, so they've been relentlessly increasing prices and cutting costs. Their stores are dilapidated, disorganised and full of overpriced tat.

It's a real shame. WH Smith used to be a cozy hug of a shop, a lovely place on the high street full of books and games and nice pens. They had a really good selection of art supplies and toys. Back in the 80s, they were Britain's biggest computer retailer. It's now a shit-tip on a railway concourse, flogging cans of coke for £1.49 and sub-poundland tat. A brand that used to be imbued with warm memories now feels seedy and predatory - the kind of place you'd never shop in by choice.

https://www.managementtoday.co.uk/dismal-decline-whsmith/article/1369095
>> No. 414615 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 8:50 pm
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>>414614
I bought a printer cartridge there this year. I was going to buy an ink refill for a pen I've had for years but apparently they don't do them for that particular pen.
>> No. 414616 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:12 pm
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>>414614
The WHS Carpet Twitter account provided a mild chuckle.

https://twitter.com/WHS_Carpet
>> No. 414617 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:27 pm
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>>414609
> I've no idea how they're still in business.

I think the airport and railway shops basically keep them alive - those are about the only contexts in which people will pay £3 more than normal for a pack of fags (as I once did at WH Smiths in Heathrow).
>> No. 414618 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:36 pm
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>>414617

They occupy just about every motorway service station I've ever been in, I'm struggling to think of one without them. I found myself needing a 12v phone charger at 3am somewhere on the M62, and it cost me the best part of twenty quid. I'm not sure why they bother with the high street stores when they have the motorway market so locked down.
>> No. 414619 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:46 pm
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>>414616
What a twat.
>> No. 414620 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 9:48 pm
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>>414618>>414619
Supply and demand though, right? I mean, should we really expect the cheapest possible price for something when we need it in an emergency and they have it in stock at 3am? A 7 quid premium is annoying, but its about what you would expect of the opportunity cost.
>> No. 414621 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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>>414617>>414618
I think the only time I've actually bought anything from a Smiths this decade is from one next to a train station to pick up something to read for a long journey.

I don't think I'll ever understand motorway service stations; if I want a snack or summat then I'll either prepare something at home or pop in to a little Tesco before starting my journey and if I'll need fuel or a proper meal then you can usually find these not far away from most junctions without getting price gouged.
>> No. 414622 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 10:05 pm
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>>414621
>I don't think I'll ever understand motorway service stations

But that's exactly the point - they don't cater for people like you (or I) who think, I'm going on a long journey, ought to pack some snacks and drinks.
>> No. 414624 Anonymous
27th December 2017
Wednesday 11:45 pm
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>>414620

Oh, I'm not disputing that, I get why it's £2 for a Red Bull there too, and I'm grateful for the convenience. My point is I'm sure they make quite enough money from their motorway dealings to just knock the shite high street stores on the head.

Anyone remember Menzies?
>> No. 414625 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 12:45 am
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>>414606

"Sweet" as in romantic or "sweet" as in cool because neither seems accurate?
>> No. 414626 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 1:02 am
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>>414620
There's supply and demand, and then there's blatant fucking gouging.
>> No. 414627 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 3:13 am
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>>414621
48 flakes is a lot.
>> No. 414628 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 6:59 am
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>>414627
I'm intrigued to know what they think you're going to do with 48 Flakes bought from airside at Heathrow.
>> No. 414629 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 7:10 am
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>>414622

People have cottoned on. Sales are continuing to fall for WH Smith, but they're milking more profits out of fewer sales by gouging on price and neglecting their stores. You can show great profits in the short-run if you rip people off and let your assets decline, but it's not a long-term business model.

M&S have been opening stores in motorway service stations for years, offering high-quality products at prices similar to their high-street stores. The supermarkets are starting to open Metro-style stores in railway stations. WH Smith have probably got a reasonably secure future in airports where they have a completely captive market, but they're still vulnerable to competition and it'd be a sad end for a great brand.
>> No. 414630 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 7:34 am
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>>414628
Eat 24 now and put 24 in your pockets for later.
>> No. 414632 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 1:37 pm
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>>414629
>M&S have been opening stores in motorway service stations for years

You're right actually, in a lot of those places, such as train stations, they are cornering the market in food and drink becasuse they offer fairly decent quality, at normal high-stere prices; one of the independent "off licences" in Waterloo station gets away with charging 3 quid for a can of Stella. M&S will eventually take all that market, perhaps in exchange for losing the High Street and areas like clothes, which they seem to be failing badly at now.
>> No. 414633 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 3:01 pm
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>>414632
I think it's the other way round. Their prices on the high street are rather high, but still cheaper than typical station fare.
>> No. 414634 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 4:19 pm
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>>414633

I don't mind paying £3.50 for an M&S sandwich, because I know it'll be nicer than a £2 sandwich from Greggs. I do mind paying £1.79 for a 500ml bottle of water just because I'm a captive customer.
>> No. 414635 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 4:31 pm
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>>414634
Their little canned gin-and-tonics are only 2 quid and unlike all the others on the market, you get a double. I get those for the train ride home after work. It is fucking ridiculous that water is almost the same price.
>> No. 414636 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 5:26 pm
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>>414635
Instead of lamenting that water costs as much as a G&T, why not celebrate G&T being cheap as water?
>> No. 414637 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 5:38 pm
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>>414636
I am so glad you read it that way.
>> No. 414638 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 6:15 pm
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>>414603
>My prediction is that the longer warranty periods mandated by law in France, if that's really the case, will not increase product durability.

Relevant article turned up on reddit today.
https://www.thelocal.fr/20171228/french-lawsuit-launched-against-apple-for-alleged-crime-of-slowing-down-iphones
>> No. 414640 Anonymous
28th December 2017
Thursday 10:17 pm
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I went sale shopping today, as I only buy clothes for work at this time of year. It was extremely slim pickings; very small sale sections and the reductions weren't that brilliant.

I thought Brexit meant that people would be buying less due to having their incomes squeezed so shops would put larger reductions on their wares to keep customers coming in and the tills ringing?
>> No. 414641 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 12:09 pm
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>>414640

As I understand it, retailers were expecting a slow Christmas and bought stock accordingly, so they don't have much surplus stock that needs shifting during the January sales. They were also offering modest discounts before Christmas in Black Friday type sales, which helped them shift stock without having to slash prices to the bone after the Christmas rush.
>> No. 414643 Anonymous
29th December 2017
Friday 9:55 pm
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>>414641

>As I understand it, retailers were expecting a slow Christmas and bought stock accordingly, so they don't have much surplus stock that needs shifting during the January sales.

Surplus stock always means selling your stuff at a loss with regards to what you paid for it. It is best avoided, and only helps you as a shop to get at least a little bit for your stuff so it's not a complete writeoff. The more surplus stock you are left with after Christmas or at the end of any other season, the less efficient your planning was. Ideally, you would have nothing left at all. And the effect of luring people into shops with big sales only to talk them into a newer better product at regular price is also overestimated. It happens, but it will not be enough to make up for your losses from the out of season items that you are now banging out at half price.

My local Asda had Christmas chocolates and sweets this week, up to 60 percent off. Which persuaded me to buy a sizeable assortment of chocolates and pralines. I mean, hey, they're going to be good for at least another three months, going by their expiration dates. Waste not, want not, and that.
>> No. 414649 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 2:50 pm
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>>414640
Sales are always shit. I feel like I could write a book on the weirdness of people who go to the sales and the whole bizarre nature of how they work.
>> No. 414652 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 3:49 pm
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>>414649

>Sales are always shit.

Not necessarily. I tend to do most of my brand name clothes shopping by going to shops during end of season sales. You can pick up perfectly good pairs of brand name jeans and short-sleeve T-shirts or long-sleeve sweaters at a 30 to 50 percent discount. Why not take that opportunity. It doesn't mean you're a tight git, it just means by and large that you know how to spend your money wisely.
>> No. 414653 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 3:54 pm
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>>414652
> It doesn't mean you're a tight git, it just means by and large that you know how to spend your money wisely.

I see the merit in it for sure - and I admire the discipline involved in saving all your money for the sales.

I once queued up in an overnight sale trying to get into a department store - a long time ago - talking to the people in the line and their expectations for the sale was more interesting than any other part of it. I ended up buying nothing.
>> No. 414656 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 5:18 pm
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>>414653

>I once queued up in an overnight sale trying to get into a department store

ok, this kind of thing is silly. It's the same as whenever a new iPhone or whatever newfangled gadget hits the markets for the first time. What value is there in camping out in front of a shop at night to be the first to get one the next morning after a night spent sleeping in a damp sleeping bag, when you can just as easily wait a few days or weeks and order the same item from the comfort of your own home, and very probably even at a discount compared to the first-day retail shop price.

Brand new items or marked down sale stuff, it's all the same. It's called resisting the hype.
>> No. 414657 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 6:27 pm
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It's just a matter of being a savvy shopper. If a store has big signs up saying "HUGE SALE NOW ON", they're just trying to drum up business. Unless they're going bust, it's vanishingly unlikely that they really do have a large amount of stock that they're trying to unload in a hurry.

On the other hand, retailers do often have dribs and drabs of inventory that they just want rid of - discontinued lines, odd sizes, unpopular colours, last season's stock. If it's on the clearance rack, there's always a reason for it. You can pick up trainers for next to nothing if your feet are size 6 or size 14 and you don't mind garish colours. TVs get discounted more heavily than mobile phones, because they take up more shelf space. There's often a flurry of discounting in late September and early October to make room on the shelves for Christmas stock.
>> No. 414658 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 6:55 pm
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>>414652
>You can pick up perfectly good pairs of brand name
>know how to spend your money wisely.
I contend that buying brand name things isn't particularly wise spending.
>> No. 414659 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 6:58 pm
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>>414658
Thankfully, nobody asked you.
>> No. 414660 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:00 pm
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>>414658
>I contend that buying brand name things isn't particularly wise spending

When you find unbranded cornflakes as good as Kellogg's or unbranded baked beans as good as Branston's let me know.
>> No. 414661 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:01 pm
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>>414657
>If a store has big signs up saying "HUGE SALE NOW ON", they're just trying to drum up business.
That sounds suspiciously illegal. Woolworths were only able to get away with it because you can't prosecute something that doesn't exist.
>> No. 414662 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:07 pm
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>>414660
They are just as good. Now, when you eat your clothes instead of paying for the privilege of being a walking advertisement, you let me know.
>> No. 414663 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:08 pm
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>>414661
Sports Direct and DFS are in a state of perma-sale.
>> No. 414664 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:18 pm
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>>414662
They are not just as good - Heinz Baked Beans taste different from others. They may well be produced in the same manufacturing facility (as a lot of food products are) but they use a different recipe, you can blind-taste the difference.
>> No. 414665 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:18 pm
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>>414663
Sports Direct is an amazing business really - every time I visit I wonder who on earth shops there, but you only have to look at your average chav to see how they survive.
>> No. 414666 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:28 pm
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>>414662
>They are just as good.

No. They are not.

Most of the things I buy are unbranded, but the six things which are far superior to the branded versions are KP peanuts, Kellogg's cornflakes, Birdseye peas, Branston beans, Nestlé shredded wheat and Robinsons squash; for everything else the unbranded versions are fine but for these the unbranded ones are noticeably inferior.

As for clothing, it's easy to buy branded stuff without a great big fuck-off logo plastered across it. I'd rather pay £20 in the sale for work shoes from Clarks than similarly priced supermarket clods that aren't as durable. I'd rather spend £15/20 getting Skopes or Jeff Banks work shirts in the sale than buy unbranded versions which aren't as well fitted and noticeably lose quality over time.

There's nothing wrong with purchasing branded stuff. Stop being such a massive edgelord. Do you purchase a TV and then file away the bit that says 'Samsung' or 'Sony' on the front so that your living room isn't an advertising board for them?
>> No. 414667 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 7:50 pm
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All baked beans are crap.
>> No. 414668 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 8:12 pm
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>>414667
This is heresy.
>> No. 414669 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 8:18 pm
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>>414663

Sports Direct have quite a clever business model. They buy up vaguely-recognisable brands on the cheap from distressed sellers, allowing them to maintain the impression of being a multi-brand sports retailer while actually selling predominantly own-brand products. They can sell a pair of trainers for £15 or a t-shirt for £4 with a healthy margin, because they're completely vertically integrated.

Also they treat their staff like complete shit. You've all read the stories about their warehouse staff - what do you think the conditions are like in their garment factories? Fuck Mike Ashley.
>> No. 414671 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:38 pm
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>>414668
Yet truth.
>> No. 414673 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:41 pm
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>>414667
They are if you don't add a pinch of salt.
>> No. 414674 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:44 pm
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>>414673
The only thing you need to add to beans is lumps of mature cheddar to make cheesy beano.
>> No. 414675 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 10:32 pm
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>>414666
I just don't buy a TV. Duh.
>> No. 414680 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 12:12 am
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>>414674

IMO you either need to drain your beans or simmer them for a bit, otherwise whatever you're eating gets drenched in watery sauce.

A dash of Tabasco and some black pepper doesn't hurt either.
>> No. 414681 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:25 am
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>>414680
I need to drain my beans IYKWIM.
>> No. 414682 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:38 am
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>>414680
DRAIN baked beans? I have never heard of such an awful suggestion.

I posit that the key to baked beans is not to overcook them - stewed beans are mushy and that way lies much farting and unpleasantness.

They are the food of the gods, especially when in conjunction with toast. Any suggestion to the contrary is a grave misjudgement.
>> No. 414685 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:05 am
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>>414682

If you get a decent full English, the beans have been kept warm for a bit and the sauce has thickened. If you just nuke your beans for three minutes, you end up with a massive puddle of bean juice. You've got to maintain the structural integrity of your toast.
>> No. 414686 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:42 am
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>>414685
>You've got to maintain the structural integrity of your toast.

I definitely appreciate your reassurance on this point but the bean juice is part of the meal. I am not suggesting that one "nukes" (I hesitate to use the word, microwave) the beans, but that one warms them gently, while stirring. Five minutes would be too much - the beans must also retain their integrity.
>> No. 414693 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 8:58 am
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If you get an 'all day breakfast' sandwich from Boots then the white bread has gone orange as it been flavoured with baked bean sauce.
>> No. 414712 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:34 pm
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>>414693
Never eaten a Boots sandwich. Not sure why.
>> No. 414715 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:44 pm
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>>414712
They're a bit chewy
>> No. 414716 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:05 pm
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>>414715
Food in Boots never looks that attractive, always seems like an afterthought.
>> No. 414717 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:11 pm
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chickeninboots.jpg
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>>414716
>> No. 414722 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:57 pm
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>>414717
Would absolutely nosh that off a suitably sized plate.
>> No. 414725 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:06 pm
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>>414717

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7Q6sH9kB_o

I knew I shouldn't have tried to out-google you - I have now inadvertently found this, clearly A Thing.
>> No. 414726 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:09 pm
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>>414725
I'm relieved that's just food. I advise you not to keep looking for boot crush material because it gets progressively worse.
>> No. 414730 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:30 pm
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>>414726
>it gets progressively worse

Nothing surprises me anymore, I knew that the minute the video started.
>> No. 414732 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:44 pm
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There's a video on eFukt where a woman in heels stands on an erect cock. It pops and you see the blood pouring out whilst the penis deflates.
>> No. 414745 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 5:27 pm
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>>414726
I remember one doing the rounds a few years back of an oriental woman crushing an animal's head, either a cat or a rabbit (might have been both). That was grim to watch.
>> No. 414748 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 7:21 pm
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>>414725

I don't find it arousing honest, but I do love the imagery of boot crush fetishism. Not that food one, I decided to actually watch it and it was fucking rank. Food's not sexy at all.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvYmuIwsnZ8

This uses some boot crush imagery very effectively in my opinion.
>> No. 414750 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 7:29 pm
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>>414748

That remix is bobbins.

Side note: I would totally let GFOTY ruin my life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzo2vvUWLoo
>> No. 414756 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 9:38 pm
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Wahey! Happy New Year lads and ladettes! Well surely it can't get much worse anyway.
>> No. 414759 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 10:13 pm
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>>414756

>surely it can't get much worse

Famous last words. Personally, I'm quite looking forward to armageddon.
>> No. 414780 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 8:54 am
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I'm feeling much better after my massive hangover shit.
>> No. 414781 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 9:49 am
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>>414780
Every day.
>> No. 415093 Anonymous
20th January 2018
Saturday 2:25 pm
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>>414750
GFOTY is uncanny in her ability to create the audio equivalent of a horrendous car crash. It's terrible, horrible, scarring but impossible to look away from. Like a train wreck in motion. Utter brilliance.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWqLvQ9-uwk
>> No. 415094 Anonymous
20th January 2018
Saturday 3:13 pm
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So...

What are we using as the weekend thread at the minute?
>> No. 415096 Anonymous
20th January 2018
Saturday 5:29 pm
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>>415093
That is so odd. It seems to be just a series of hooks strung together with no relation to each other. I can't believe my brain isn't offended.

It is like a series of interesting but under developed ideas. that spark intregue but never resolves. It is musical schizophrenic word salad.

Like if you read a book where every sentance introduces in a new concept. It reminds me of "welcome to night vale" and "Blue Jam" in presentation.
>> No. 415097 Anonymous
20th January 2018
Saturday 5:57 pm
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>>415096

I was thinking similar. It sounds shite, but, deliberately so. She planned it to sound shite. Even more convincingly than most Noise genres.

Who is listening to this in earnest?
>> No. 415145 Anonymous
22nd January 2018
Monday 11:47 pm
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>>415096
>>415097

Deliberately shite is still shite lads. I don't detect any specific satire there, so I can only conclude that it's just shite. High brow shite perhaps, but shite nonetheless. Shite.

Like those naff late 90s abstract visual artists where it would just be a canvas with a few stripes on them. We can't go giving things a pass because they intended it to be shite and, remarkably, succeeded in being shite.
>> No. 415147 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 12:59 am
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>>415145
It's not even a new thing. Here's a piece from Carl Andre's Equivalent series, assembled from fire bricks and potentially worth millions. Or it might just be an ordinary pallet of fire bricks, worth a few hundred. I'm not telling you which.
>> No. 415150 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 2:40 am
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>>415147

>assembled from fire bricks and potentially worth millions

That's the thing I don't understand about art like this. It kind of seems like a giant piss take. Why would these particular fire bricks on a pallet be worth millions, just because some lazy fuck arranged them that way and calls it art?

I have great appreciation for painters, as well as graphic artists or art photographers and the like. Some very considerable skill and substantial amounts of time can go into creating a piece of art that way.

But an assortment of bricks on a pallet?

We are doomed as a species, I tell you.
>> No. 415151 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 6:15 am
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>>415150
That's the point. Artists have been doing this since Marcel Duchamp and earlier. It's to question the nature of art and whether anything can be considered art.

How do you define art? Is it something designed to elicit a reaction? Well this got one out of you, didn't it?
>> No. 415152 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 8:21 am
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>>415150>>415151

You also have to remember that just because it's art doesn't mean it can't also be crap. A sculpture has as much right as any art form, whether it's a dance, music or a computer game, to be one big pile of shit.
>> No. 415155 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 8:48 am
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>>415152

Agreed, but typically if a performance, album, or game is a massive pile of shite, fewer people pay the relatively small amount of money to experience it, let alone buy the work for a couple of million.
>> No. 415156 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 10:29 am
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>>415155
Not him but if some shyster sells a pile of bricks to a pretentious prick with more money than sense then who is the victim here? It's not like he's misled the buyer into what he is physically getting or forcing him to do micro-transactions to enjoy it.

"Oh it makes me look the very height of culture and will surely prove a profitable investment" Phillip Green chuckles to himself as he places the jar of shit on his mantelpiece completely unaware that it is he who gives the work it's significance.
>> No. 415157 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 11:08 am
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>>415156

I'm not saying anyone's a victim, not at all. I don't believe anyone's being hoodwinked into buying a pile of bricks, they know very well they're buying <famous artists> pile of bricks.

I just can't believe, for my own sanity, that people study and collect this sort of work for anything other than cynical speculation, or appearances.

Maybe it's just a mixture of envy of that much wealth, or a fear I'm missing out on the true meaning of something like this, or maybe it's the cynic in me who knows you can sell a bit of pork belly and some raspberry jam for ninety quid a plate if you know what you're doing.
>> No. 415158 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 2:06 pm
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>>415150
>Why would these particular fire bricks on a pallet be worth millions

Blame the super-rich.

It is worth millions only because two people would pay millions for it. One off art is auctioned and therefore valued at a price slightly more that than the amount the person who wants it the 2nd most is willing to pay. If those people died tomorrow and no one else cared it would be valued at the most someone is willing to pay for those materials.
>> No. 415160 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 3:02 pm
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>>415158

It's the speculation bubble of recent years. Central banks have pumped bazillions into global markets following the Financial Crisis; that money has found its way into the coffers of the already super rich, but now they find that all that money cannot be invested in the economy for a good return on investment, because a country's economy (or the global economy) will only produce a given yield each year, no matter how much money you throw at it. So all that money has gone into physical goods speculation. And you've seen the value of anything from classic cars to real estate and even expensive wines, or indeed faux art, reach ludicrous heights. And now the latest craze, because that, too, no longer delivers a profitable return on investment, are apparently cryptocurrencies.

History does teach us that every bubble eventually bursts, and that the prices of the goods in which the bubble occurred will eventually crash or at least return to normal levels. If you are looking to buy a classic car as an investment, there might soon be a time when it can be had for a song, when the economy has crashed again.

I was actually in a position in 2008 where I could have afforded buying a specimen in good nick of one of my childhood dream cars, a late-80s Ferrari Testarossa. I probably still wouldn't have been able to afford to run it, but I could have just put it in my garage. They were around £35k to £45k back then. Nowadays, you will be lucky if you find a good Testarossa for four times that. Even if I had just let it sit in my garage for ten years under a cover and would not have had the usual recurring repairs carried out, I would probably still have been able to get 100 grand for it in today's market.
>> No. 415170 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 5:45 pm
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>>415151

>That's the point.

Indeed, it's just that really, when you get down to it, that's the only point of such art.

Duchamp nailed it on the first attempt. The last hundred years of post-modern wank is just regurgitation.
>> No. 415171 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 6:31 pm
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>>415170

That's basically what I wanted to say but lacked the words.

If all of these piles of bricks and jars of urine are a statement on the nature of art, that statement is incredibly stale.
>> No. 415172 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 6:33 pm
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>>415157

It's often just pretentiousness on the part of the person who buys this kind of art. And the desire of upwardly mobile new elites to appear cultured.

I remember reading once about a couple who were both performance artists. They cooked up an elaborate hoax to make such a point. They forged sheet music, faded appearance and all, for which they pulled some notes and melodies out of thin air which apparently really would have sounded sort of shit if you had taken the time to actually play them on an instrument. But they then advertised their yellowed pieces of paper to uppity art collectors as an "attic find" of music by one of the forgotten contemporaries and students of Mozart himself, and they even concocted some sort of vaguely 18th-century Austrian aristocracy-sounding name for this forgotten artist.

And loads of collectors who really prided themselves in being connaisseurs of classical music were completely fooled, but not only that, they offered to pay quite handsome amounts for the handful of pages of fake sheet music in question.

I think this was kind of before the Internet enabled you to quickly fact check such spurious claims. But it was still a great way to take the mickey out of art collectors. A shrewed performance act in itself.
>> No. 415173 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 6:53 pm
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>>415172

That's straight up fraud, not art. It's definitely on the collectors for not figuring it out, if the written music was truly bad, but come on. Praise them as conmen, not artists.
>> No. 415174 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 6:59 pm
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>>415172

Your post reminded me of 'F for fake'. On the surface it is a documentary about an art forger, But the art forger makes 'orginal' works by the artist. And in many ways his work is better than that of the orginal artist.

Undercurrent of the story is a discussion about why do we care, and do we really care.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIVgUjj6RxU
>> No. 415175 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 8:17 pm
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>>415173

It kind of straddles the outer boundaries of what's legal.

According to the 2006 Fraud Act, fraud, and even attempted fraud, requires that you have the intent to defraud the victim for gain either for yourself or others, or inflict loss or a risk of loss upon them. It'd kind of be down to how imaginative a judge will be in court. If that judge will really be ready to believe that advertising potentially valuable but knowingly fake historic documents to a collector willing to pay a lot of money for them was all part of an ironic performance art act, and that you were never actually going to take money from anybody in the first place. I am sure the irony will be lost on many courts, and they will end up allowing a full-on fraud lawsuit to be brought against you.
>> No. 415176 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 8:59 pm
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>>415175

>I am sure the irony will be lost on many courts

The irony is lost for a good reason because it is one of the oldest cover stories for a failed attempt in the book.

If you are successful then you have no need to explain yourself, if you aren't well, of course, it was all just an experiment/joke and you were just about to come clean about it soon anyway. If you have any world experience you've seen it anywhere anyone is caught out, from people discovered to be making up facts to win arguments, to people attempting to rob/intimidate you when they realise fortune has turned against them.
>> No. 415177 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 10:18 pm
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>>415176

>The irony is lost for a good reason because it is one of the oldest cover stories for a failed attempt in the book.

Yes, but then again, mens rea must always be proven. It isn't, or at least it shouldn't be enough to argue that in some sort of perceived majority of these cases, it would turn out to merely be a cover story that it was all just going to be for giggles.

It will probably be enough to make you a de facto fraud suspect, but then again, supicion and reasonable doubt are fraught concepts in their own right.

It just doesn't seem right that at least in theory, there would be no conceivable room for a "for giggles" defence. What if I really honestly just wanted to take the mickey out of someone, but really never intended to cause them any kind of loss? What if I really just wanted to make somebody look stupid?

Where a criminal offence begins and doesn't begin has probably been the subject of law school term papers since the dawn of civilisation. It's not always as black and white as it appears.

Mens rea also requires that a reasonable person of average intelligence must know that the act they are going to commit will satisfy the criteria for a particular criminal offence. If I am preparing to punch you in the face with full force, as a reasonable person of average intelligence, it can't elude me that that is going to be a criminal offence.
>> No. 415178 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 10:24 pm
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I think it would largely depend on your reputation as an artist and what sort of work you've done in the past. I know that !Mediengruppe Bitnik have done a bunch of fairly illegal things and seemingly have got away with it, presumably because they're artists and are obviously doing it for art's sake. You, on the other hand, would face a prison sentence.
>> No. 415179 Anonymous
23rd January 2018
Tuesday 10:56 pm
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>>415175

Yet when I told the judge that me being found outside Mrs. Jones house sharpening a kitchen knife was performance art, he threw the book at me.
>> No. 415180 Anonymous
24th January 2018
Wednesday 12:23 am
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>>415179

> he threw the book at me.

Now that would have been true performance art if he had physcially done that.
>> No. 415182 Anonymous
24th January 2018
Wednesday 1:52 am
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>>415179
>being found outside Mrs. Jones house sharpening a kitchen knife was performance art

Whot dark days are these when a 'onest man can no more plug 'is trade and sell 'is wares on a public highway.
>> No. 415187 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 1:54 am
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>>415160 how much of the apparent profit on that car can be accounted for as inflation? How do we even measure that?
>> No. 415196 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 11:36 am
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>>415187

£45k in 2008 equates to about £57k today.

https://www.bankofengland.co.uk/monetary-policy/inflation
>> No. 415219 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 11:43 am
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>>415196l

Still a tidy profit if you bought a car for 45 grand in 2008 and get to sell it for 100 today. Even inflation adjusted. No bank would have paid you that in interest in the mean time.
>> No. 415225 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 4:13 pm
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>>415219
No but an index fund would be roughly the same.
>> No. 415229 Anonymous
26th January 2018
Friday 5:20 pm
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>>415225

Inflation adjusted, if >>415196 lad is to be believed, a £45K investment taken on in 2008 would still equal around £75K today. That's a 66 percent return on investment.

The problem with keeping a classic car, even if you just let it sit under a cover for ten years, is the upkeep. Ten years of just collecting dust is a long time even for a Ferrari. Rubber parts of any kind, for example, typically have a lifespan of some ten years. So a Ferrari that you put in your garage or your barn ten years ago will not only be unattractive to buyers today because you didn't have all the recurring servicing done by an authorised Ferrari dealer (true Ferrari collectors will turn their nose up at any specimen that was serviced by an independent shop), but you are going to have to replace anything from a timing belt to a water pump and probably each and every water hose. And by a Ferrari dealership. That's going to shave an easy £5,000 off your profit, more likely £10,000... because again, you will have to catch up on ten years of neglect.

One of my mates worked for a boss once who drove a Ferrari 348, which is often called the Testarossa's little brother. By and large, he said he had to set aside around £5,000 every year for all the maintenance recommended by Ferrari.

A classic car like that is only a worthwhile investment if you have the means to store it properly and have it maintained. The best kept Testarossas in factory condition now run for upwards of £140,000. So if you bought one ten years ago for £45K, which was about the top end back then, deducting £5,000 every year, you would still only have a profit of £45K before inflation. But again, that needs to be put in perspective to all the maintenance work you would have to do on your "barn find" testarossa to get it back into a state where most buyers would actually be interested.

Long story short, if all you have is a chunk of money and want to make a profit off it, you're indeed better off investing in things like stocks or index funds. Or if you still feel tempted to buy a classic car as an investment, get one that's a little more practical, which you can afford to run and service regularly, and where proper servicing by an authorised dealership doesn't make a difference of £40K in eventual resale value.

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