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>> No. 414646 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:45 am
414646 Weekend/New Year thread
The night of forced fun is almost upon us.

If screenshot lad was still with us then he could provide us with the highlights of 2017 on Britfa.gs, but my memory is so hazy that everything merges into one so I'm not really sure what's happened here in the past year or so.
Expand all images.
>> No. 414647 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 10:04 am
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I started collecting nominations for POTY last January, then forgot about it after the first one.
>> No. 414648 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 2:02 pm
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>>414646
I love spending it here with you lads but this year I actually have guests over ffs.
>> No. 414650 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 3:40 pm
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>>414646

The madlad Emily impersonator over in /emo/ seemed like a desperate attempt to get nominated for the .gscars. I try and keep some for posterity, but I'm on my 3rd laptop so far this year. I have no luck with the fucking things.

On the subject of New Years, I've already started getting FB Messenger spam from people who were definitely the same cunts who forwarded chain sms messages in the 00s. I was going to shag the missus and try and time the arse-pissing to coincide with the bells, but we're spending it with her family now. The best laid plans, etc.
>> No. 414655 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 4:06 pm
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I have family coming over - I don't know why, we are the worst New Years hosts on the planet. I genuinely prefer staying in and not celebrating it.
>> No. 414670 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:27 pm
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I'm gonna spend new year's eve drinking tea, fuck going out.
>> No. 414672 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 9:39 pm
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>>414670
I've got some lovely bespoke ginger chai to try.
The lady I bought it from said it should be made with milk, or at the very least with a bit of honey to sweeten. Fuck that, I'm hardcore, strong black and bitter for me.
>> No. 414676 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 11:14 pm
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I just bought some obscure books on French anarchist theory, curious if I'm on any new lists for that.
>> No. 414678 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 11:48 pm
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>>414672

I have taken to drinking Earl Grey as standard now. I just love the fragrant bergamot aroma. No sugar, just a bit of cream. Fucking brilliant.
>> No. 414679 Anonymous
30th December 2017
Saturday 11:53 pm
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>>414676

Everyone's on a list. The NSA's xkeyscore system assigns a risk index to every known human being on earth. If you buy some dodgy books, your score goes up. If a friend of a friend is an Eskimo, your score goes up. If the IMSI of your mobile phone is detected in the vicinity of a protest, your score goes up. If you access a webpage containing the word "xkeyscore", your score goes up.

There's no escape from the all-seeing eye.
>> No. 414683 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:39 am
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>>414679
Oh god lad, you really believe this shit. gb2emo.
>> No. 414684 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:56 am
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>>414683

Lad. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XKeyscore
>> No. 414687 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 2:44 am
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>>414684
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Threat_model
https://www.owasp.org/index.php/Application_Threat_Modeling

If XKeyscore is on your threat model, then you are already fucked.
>> No. 414688 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 5:45 am
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>>414655
>I genuinely prefer staying in and not celebrating it.

I think everyone sensible does. The last time I went out on New Years all the forced sentimentality was bloody disgusting viewing.

My plan this year is to go to a walk to a nearby hill and watch the fireworks go off over my town. I did it last year and it was a nice experience to spend a minute or two on my own after Christmas reflecting on the past year and what I wanted to achieve for the next.

>>414676
Yes, no doubt you've been added to the "super-harmless persons list" as a tedious pseudo-intellectual. Christ you make it sound like you've been downloading child porn.
>> No. 414694 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 9:17 am
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>>414688
Hah, I should hope so. We're all on lists, lad. It's not like I said I'm expecting to be vanned, did I touch a nerve?
>> No. 414698 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:10 am
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At what point am I meant to stop saying "two-thousand-and-eighteen" and start saying "twenty-eighteen"?

I mean, I'd say "nineteen-ninety-nine" rather than "one-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine" but saying "twenty" instead of "two-thousand" just seems so... American.
>> No. 414699 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:38 am
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>>414698

“Twenty eighteen” is the seppo way, if I remember correctly. Like World War 2, instead of The Second World War.
>> No. 414701 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:57 am
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>>414699

"Twenty eighteen" is perfectly acceptable, just as we describe the Second World War as having occurred between "nineteen thirty nine" and "nineteen forty five". Shakespeare was born in the "fifteen hundreds". The BBC pronunciation unit recommended this form and Radio 4 announcers have consistently used it. "Twenty oh two" sounds weird to everyone but regular Radio 4 listeners, but it's perfectly correct.
>> No. 414702 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 12:14 pm
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>>414701

That I didn’t know. Thanks for clarifying.
>> No. 414704 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:01 pm
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>>414679
>>414687

I have a faint suspicion that I might be in the crosshairs of some sort of risk assessment algorithms like that.

For your consideration: I undertook three trips abroad this year, all by plane. And on two of those trips, I was told that I was singled out for additional random screening, where they checked my hands and clothes for traces of explosives prior to boarding.

But not only that. On my first trip, when I retrieved my suitcase from the baggage carousel at the destination airport, there was an inconspicuous sticker around the handle of the suitcase with a number on it, which a google search later revealed to be a sign that airport security had double checked my suitcase beyond the standard screening process that every item of luggage goes through.

It's kind of disturbing, and I really have no idea where they might get the notion that I would be some sort of threat. I'm the average (white) Joe with a nine to five job, I pay my taxes, and I have no ties whatsoever to any kind of people who might really be capable of doing bad things like that.
>> No. 414705 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:08 pm
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>>414704
Do you book your flights late and go on your own? Any time I do, I get SSS, swabbed and generally fondled more.
>> No. 414706 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:09 pm
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>>414704
Do you happen to have mud in your blood?
>> No. 414707 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:16 pm
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>>414704
THEY'RE COMING
>> No. 414710 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:23 pm
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>>414705

No, these were all one-week packaged holidays that I had booked six to eight weeks in advance. I went to Greece, Portugal, and Italy. Not really countries that are known to be militant daft woggery hotbeds.

I could half understand their concern if I was a dark skinned person going to Svalbard or Iran by himself with no known place to stay in the country. But I'm just a painfully average white British person who was lucky enough to get to go on three holidays this year. All by myself each time, as I am single and nobody wanted to go with me. But maybe that was already enough to make me fit some sort of profile. Single male, travelling alone, and all that. I guess suicide bombers rarely take their loved ones along.
>> No. 414711 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:33 pm
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>>414710
You seem like a wrong 'un, I would have stopped you.
>> No. 414713 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:39 pm
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>>414683
>>414687
Not him, but the question was "Am I on a list?" to which that was a perfectly factual answer.
>> No. 414714 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 1:41 pm
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>>414710
Booking a package trip less than two months in advance, going to the Med by yourself. Definitely sounds fishy to me.
>> No. 414731 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:33 pm
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>>414713
We are all on a list, from birth. Whether you should really care about that depends on your threat model.
>> No. 414733 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 3:50 pm
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I need to stop buying Frankenfood from Iceland.
>> No. 414737 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 4:10 pm
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>>414704
Good to know it happens to white people as well. Shared misery and all that. You're an honorary mudblood now.
>> No. 414742 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 4:45 pm
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>>414704

I have a friend who works in government, some MoD stuff in there I think, high enough up that he had to answer questions about his closest associates.

Apparently her majesty's government finds me more interesting than most. I think it's mostly because I'm half Irish and definitely have some living IRA relatives, but I like to believe my mate got confronted with a list of all the weird disturbing shite I've posted here, and this site's association with known ex government asset Emily Gyde.
>> No. 414751 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 8:33 pm
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Dating game's been shite this year. By which I mean Tinder because I don't go on the pull. Partly me getting older. But a choice example, I just matched with some girl who had 'Quite a busy person' in her profile. So I greeted her with 'Alright busybody'. She said 'I'm not sure busybody is postive' and quoted the dictionary definition at me. I told her frankly what a humourless response that was, and she unmatched me. Sourfaced bint!
>> No. 414752 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 8:37 pm
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>>414751
>Tinder

Mate, it's all about Bumble these days.
>> No. 414753 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 8:41 pm
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>>414751
Yeah, but "busybody" is someone who makes a nuisance for no good reason, always sticking their nose in where it's not wanted. If she talked about her job you wouldn't lead off with "Alright, Jobsworth!"

Or you might, I dunno'.
>> No. 414754 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 8:53 pm
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>>414753
It probably would have gone far better if he'd said something like "alright busybee" instead.
>> No. 414755 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 9:15 pm
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>>414752

PoF is where all the desperate slags are. Failing that, friend all your mum's mates on Facebook. Everything in life is easier if you just lower your standards.
>> No. 414758 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 10:08 pm
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Went on an away trip to watch the rugby. A much-needed win, and a decent watch too. Managed to make a slightly earlier train than the one I was aiming for, and bagged a negative connection to boot. Chinese on order, and curtains opened ready to enjoy everyone else's fireworks.
>> No. 414760 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:19 pm
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I am still with us, I just can't be arsed screenshotting anymore.
>> No. 414761 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:23 pm
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>>414760
That's the spirit.
>> No. 414762 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:25 pm
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>>414753
I'm well aware it's not a good thing to be a busybody. It was a joke. Half the profiles on there talk about their love of 'banter' as well, so I'm just thoroughly confused now.

Maybe it just didn't land because she didn't mentally connect it to what she'd written.

>>414754
Yeah I should have, I think that's the word I was looking for. Still, it was a joke. Christ.
>> No. 414763 Anonymous
31st December 2017
Sunday 11:43 pm
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>>414752

Tinder is still the gold standard for getting your dick wet. Unfortunately you have to pay them for the unlimited swiping, but then all you do is swipe everyone, and contact the matches you feel might give it up.

If they message you first, it's a guarantee.
>> No. 414767 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 12:20 am
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>>414763
Tinder has creep detection so they might not match you at all if you try that.
>> No. 414769 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 12:32 am
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I'm beginning to think my mate's not coming through the party invitation he mentioned last week.
>> No. 414771 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 12:41 am
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I'm gay Mulsim and my revolution is to see Jeremy Corbyn hold hands with someone like me and walk into masjid
>> No. 414772 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 1:33 am
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>>414771
Less than an hour in and we've already had our first shitpost. What a time to be alive.
>> No. 414773 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 2:45 am
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>>414742

>I have a friend who works in government, some MoD stuff in there I think, high enough up that he had to answer questions about his closest associates.

They do that. I've got a friend in America who works for U.S. Customs and Border Patrol. In his own words, an insignificant pencil pushing desk job. But when he was selected for the job, they pretty much screened him all the way back to his childhood. He had to state on numerous questionnaires if he had any contact to convicted felons, he had to provide employment and criminal record info on his whole immediate family, as well as his close friends. And he had to sign a statement that he understood that any materially false information he may have provided would make him subject to criminal prosecution.

They really take the piss take themselves seriously over there. I'm not sure it goes into quite that much detail if you apply for a government job here in Britain.
>> No. 414776 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:12 am
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>>414773
It depends on the nature of the job and the nature of the body you're working for. The stuff your mate had to go through is understandable given the nature of CBP, and I daresay you'd probably be expected to undergo an SC if you were working for whatever the various bits of UKBA are called these days. When I worked for HMRC, it was just a straight BPSS since all I got access to was personal details and the uncensored manuals (with the "pink text" that the public didn't get to see), whereas I have a relative at DVLA who has SC because he needs to see embargoed documents from HMT and DfT before publication.
>> No. 414777 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:31 am
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>>414773
I did the same for my position.
>> No. 414778 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 8:08 am
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>>414776
I think that's the most acronyms I've seen in a post in a long while. Do the majority of people even know what you're talking about when you talk like this?
>> No. 414782 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 10:01 am
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I didn't something very stupid last night. I told my other half, during foreplay, that I've recently been wanking to the thought of watching her get fucked by other men.
>> No. 414783 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 11:35 am
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>>414782
Nothing wrong with that, despite what the alt-right think. I take it her reaction was not positive? Or are you worried she will be too enthusiastic about the idea?
>> No. 414784 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 1:37 pm
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>>414769
I've had a few of these last year, got a new job and my old work mates arranged a few nights out that just never happened. Cunts never got anything done when I wasn't there.
>> No. 414785 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 1:59 pm
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>>414767

It has what? It's been working for me thus far.
>> No. 414786 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 2:02 pm
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>>414778

That's just how civil servants talk, they think it makes them sound important.

He'll apologise for 'being in work mode' next.
>> No. 414794 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 2:56 pm
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>>414778
>>414786
How about instead of taking that smug attitude you both sit down for a minute and think about what UKBA would stand for in the context of customs authorities? Maybe connect CBP with that 'U.S. Customs and Border Patrol' he mentioned in the previous post?

Not him, in case you might have missed that.
>> No. 414796 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 3:03 pm
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>>414794
It's not as if there's any way someone could find out what those stand for. It's 2018 already, someone really needs to come up with a way of finding information on the web.
>> No. 414798 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 3:19 pm
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>>414783
She tactfully said a few things which made clear she wasn't interested in it whatsoever.

To be honest, it's not something I'm that interested in; what I thinks a good idea before ejaculating and what I thinks a good idea after ejaculating are two very different things.
>> No. 414799 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 3:38 pm
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>>414794
>>414796
I think you lads are missing the point that including as many acronyms as possible doesn't make the conversation easier for the general public to understand and comes off as quite tedious, especially if they're having to Google stuff to find out what you're on about. More so when the people that do it then get all "Oh you don't know what FINRA stands for or you've never heard of it? Well aren't you dumb. I know what it means." about it.
>> No. 414800 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 3:57 pm
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>>414799
But he didn't post a single acronym? Do you know what an acronym is? Will it be too onerous for you to Google? Is it even worth using words correctly?
>> No. 414801 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:35 pm
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New year, new cunt-off.

Never change, lads.
>> No. 414802 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:38 pm
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>>414800

If you're going to be pedantic, then at least get it right. The distinction between "acronym" and "initialism" is not universally acknowledged. In anything but the most precise linguistic context, it's perfectly valid to refer to "BBC" or "IRA" as acronyms rather than initialisms. Many words aren't obviously either an acronym or an initialism in the precise sense; for example, the programming language SQL is pronounced as "ess cue el" and "sequel" with similar frequency.
>> No. 414803 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:53 pm
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>>414802
Like how the distinction between literally and figuratively is no longer universally acknowledged?
>> No. 414804 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 4:55 pm
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>>414799
>Well aren't you dumb. I know what it means.

The point is you don't need to know what it means to work it out. Drop the sense of entitlement, unlike television nobody is here to spoon-feed you.
>> No. 414805 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:24 pm
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I went on a year in industry last year. I have third year engineering exams coming up in two weeks and I haven't done any revision in the best part of two years.

I cannot get myself into the mindset. Shit.
>> No. 414806 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:42 pm
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>>414794

I wasn't being smug, that's literally how civil servants talk, particularly grade 7 and above.
>> No. 414808 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:45 pm
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I just bought a 55" 4k telly.
Dunno why as all it'll ever show is Paw Patrol and In the Night Garden.
>> No. 414809 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:50 pm
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>>414783
Let's be honest... She probably lost all respect for him. It isn't an "Alt-Right" thing. The thought of your other half being fucked by a gang of men is off-putting to a good majority of the human population.
>> No. 414810 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:54 pm
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>>414806
The confused lad is right. I work in the civil service now, and almost everyone speaks like that. I had to learn a lot of useless jargon. It is tedious. Almost like they come up with all of this to sound like they are doing important things. Never had a worse job.

Ah well. New year. New job to look for I guess. The civil service is soul crushing.
>> No. 414811 Anonymous
1st January 2018
Monday 5:56 pm
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>>414806
This. I think they stay in their own little bubble too much to realise how it comes off.

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