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>> No. 2715 Anonymous
23rd July 2017
Sunday 9:46 pm
2715 Kill everything in my garden
I've always lived in one of fire-prone tower blocks. I never really ventured outside the concrete jungle, and as such, touching anything green gives me really bad rashes and other weird outbreaks. I don't have to do much for it though, just an anti-histamine and rest gets everything okay again.

I'm now living in a house with a garden. The garden is overgrown and there are bushes and shrubs and whathaveyou everywhere. I want to kill everything so that it looks like the picture.

My plan is to buy loads of weed/pest killers and spray it everywhere. I hope it kills everything.

Any of you lads got any better ways of handling this to share?
16 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 2732 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 2:02 am
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>>2731

There are also websites that claim we, and everything around us, was created by an invisible, and uncontactable, uncreated being who then later decides he will eternally torture everyone who doesn't believe in him unless they accept his magic Jew son who is born to a virgin who is descended from a woman born from a mans rib.

Don't trust the internet all the time lad.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 2733 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 5:16 am
2733 spacer
>touching anything green gives me really bad rashes and other weird outbreaks

Erm, it might it be worth asking what causes this. It's early so maybe I'm missing something but I assume you have been to the doctor if everything green could potentially kill you.

Thinking long-term it might be a better idea identifying what causes the allergic reaction then you can pay a guy to remove the bad plants and replacing them with something to fill the void. This will somewhat address the problem without knocking off thousands from the resale value of your property.
>> No. 2734 Anonymous
26th July 2017
Wednesday 8:39 am
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>>2733
I'm set on my path, friend.
>> No. 2735 Anonymous
27th July 2017
Thursday 8:32 am
2735 spacer
Next up, either:
I hate this stinking desolate wasteland. How do I grow things in it?
Fucking weeds growing on my desolate stinking wasteland. Wat do?
Fuck me, gravel and paving is expensive. Any cheaper options?
Fuck me, spent a fortune on gravel. Weeds are growing through it.
Regrets, lad. You'll have a few.
>> No. 2736 Anonymous
1st August 2017
Tuesday 9:31 am
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When in doubt, turn to the Holy Book. Salt the earth, m62. You can thank me later.

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>> No. 2697 Anonymous
8th June 2017
Thursday 11:22 am
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I have an old PC that's doing nothing but taking up space.

I want to grow plants in it.

I'm thinking if I strip off the casing so it's just the internal skeleton, boards, wires and so on I can stick it in my garden and put a creeper in it or something.
Can anyone suggest a plant that would work well for this?
Is there anything in the machine that's going to seep out in the rain and poison the garden?
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>> No. 2710 Anonymous
11th June 2017
Sunday 3:41 pm
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Fuck me manual labour sucks. You'd have think they'd have invented something for that by now.

>>2709
I ended up not doing this because there were so many loose screws, sticks of RAM and cables from the two computers that I figured they'd do in place of stones. Here's a climbing plant growing out of a busted speaker.
>> No. 2711 Anonymous
11th June 2017
Sunday 3:43 pm
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I have sown a load of wildflowers in the bare earth/compost so it won't stay bare, I'll just need to weed it once I figure out which growths are the flowers and which aren't.

The piece of metal pipe marking off the bed is some random crap I found behind the greenhouse. Possibly an old trampoline, I have no real idea.
>> No. 2712 Anonymous
11th June 2017
Sunday 3:45 pm
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And here's the lavender plus a pot of those white flowers whatever they are. This bed is so big because I also have a maple tree I wanted to plant but when I started digging down I hit a pipe.
>> No. 2713 Anonymous
12th June 2017
Monday 8:34 pm
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>>2712
A Maple Tree? That's quite a step up.

You might like to consider some seeds too, see what grows in among it all.
>> No. 2714 Anonymous
12th June 2017
Monday 9:27 pm
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>>2713
I don't really want the Maple tree but it was here, in a pot, with all the random pieces of metal. Seems a shame to chuck it but I don't know what else to do with it.
Like I said, I spread some assorted wildflower seeds in the compost (cowslip, poppies, something, something, foxgloves).

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>> No. 2695 Anonymous
23rd January 2017
Monday 5:32 pm
2695 Snowleopards helped by racists?
The use of a britchan era term stands out.

http://wwf.panda.org/what_we_do/endangered_species/?290357/Nepal-announces-new-snow-leopard-action-plan
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>> No. 2696 Anonymous
23rd January 2017
Monday 7:46 pm
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>>2695
U WOT M8

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>> No. 2376 Anonymous
12th January 2014
Sunday 3:00 pm
2376 Digging for victory.
I know it's early, but what are you planning to grow this year?
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>> No. 2689 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 1:20 pm
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>>2687
Mods are cunts wherever you go. Tolkein had it right - only a complete wrongun would ever want to be in charge of anyone, let alone do it unpaid, for free.
>> No. 2690 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 1:24 pm
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>>2686

Potty more like.
>> No. 2691 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 3:09 pm
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>>2689

Mods aren't really in charge, they're more like groundskeepers.
>> No. 2692 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 3:15 pm
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>>2691
That isn't true. I once got a month long all boards ban for using a disparaging term for fanboys of Jeremy Corbyn. Anyone who'd ever want to be an internet mod is inherently going to be shit at it.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 2694 Anonymous
14th December 2016
Wednesday 4:11 pm
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>>2692

I know you don't really care, but I don't believe anyone who's asked to be a mod ever got it here.

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>> No. 2637 Anonymous
15th October 2016
Saturday 5:26 pm
2637 Nature, camping and other outdoor pic.
A few years ago an autists guy documented his cycling trips on this board. Is it still the place to post outdoor excursion type pics?
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>> No. 2665 Anonymous
24th October 2016
Monday 7:26 pm
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>> No. 2667 Anonymous
24th October 2016
Monday 8:11 pm
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>> No. 2668 Anonymous
24th October 2016
Monday 8:39 pm
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>>2665
Why is he so consternated?
>> No. 2669 Anonymous
24th October 2016
Monday 9:48 pm
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>>2668

He's trying to work out how the Sydney Harbor Bridge got to the Himalayas.

>>2667
>> No. 2670 Anonymous
24th October 2016
Monday 11:42 pm
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>>2669
>Sydney Harbor Bridge
No, lad. No.

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>> No. 2623 Anonymous
4th October 2016
Tuesday 7:55 pm
2623 What in the good Lords name is this?
How's it going lads?

Just a quick one, I've got a young pear tree in my yard, noticed today some yellow/brown patches on some of the leaves, turned them over to find these hideous spikey growths on the back of them.

Does anyone happen to know what it is?
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>> No. 2632 Anonymous
5th October 2016
Wednesday 1:16 pm
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>>2626

>I thought wasps layed eggs in their nests?

There are considerably more wasps then just the common wasp, it is an entire sub order of animals. Most of them don't form nests.

>>2631
I think this is most likely. They are probably the eggs of something that wants to eat the plant, hence why they aren't on anything else.
>> No. 2633 Anonymous
5th October 2016
Wednesday 11:28 pm
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>>2632

For my money, fig wasps are some of the weirdest things in nature.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DQTjv_u3Vc
>> No. 2634 Anonymous
6th October 2016
Thursday 1:32 am
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>>2633

The symbiotic life cycle is weird, makes you understand better the weird thoughts the Greeks had about where animals came from when you consider how obsessed they were with figs.

I'm personally more fascinated by the variants of parasitic wasp. Particularly the ones that subvert the natural cycle of plants by excreating chemicals turning the seeds and fruit into an armoured shell for them to live in. (If you've ever seen an oak tree drop those spikey wooden balls with their acorns. That is what those are).
>> No. 2635 Anonymous
6th October 2016
Thursday 3:38 am
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>>2634

I think we can all agree that wasps are proper wrong'uns.
>> No. 2636 Anonymous
6th October 2016
Thursday 8:29 am
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>>2635

racist.

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>> No. 2611 Anonymous
17th July 2016
Sunday 2:02 pm
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I've gotten a wild rabbit living in my garden (and at least one of my neighbours too). I'm guessing somehow he's gotten a bit lost and ended up here because we're across a main road from some fields.

Anyway I have 2 dogs and a cat so its inevitable that Charles the Rabbit will sooner or later be eaten unless I catch him and take him back where he belongs. I'm not quite sure how to do this so plans are welcome, snares won't work because obviously if he gets trapped in the open I'm just going to find the leftover foot or I will just catch one of the dogs because they're not especially intelligent.
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>> No. 2615 Anonymous
17th July 2016
Sunday 2:32 pm
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Someone I work with was walking their dogs when a rabbit escaped from a garden. The dogs gave chase and it ended up dying of fright. They decided to cook the rabbit and eat it.
>> No. 2616 Anonymous
17th July 2016
Sunday 3:02 pm
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>>2613

I'd just like to take a moment to apologise about the typos, it's a bit too late to delete it now that it's been replied to.
>> No. 2617 Anonymous
17th July 2016
Sunday 3:41 pm
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>>2611

http://www.wikihow.com/Cook-Lemongrass-Dog
>> No. 2618 Anonymous
17th July 2016
Sunday 6:13 pm
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>>2612
Well he has been hanging out for a week now. In that time he has surely been chased (my dogs have stepped up patrols) but doesn't seem to have gotten the message.

Maybe I could blindfold him then drive miles out to some island. If he comes back after that then we've got bigger problems.

>>2613
>>2614
Yeah I don't consider him much of a problem but at the same time I'd rather not see the lad get fucked up or my dogs picking up some parasites from eating him.

>>2614
At the moment he seems to be single which puts me at ease in terms of population growth. I'll leave some literature in the garden for a career in computer science to be sure.
>> No. 2619 Anonymous
28th July 2016
Thursday 12:55 pm
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Rabbit you say?

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>> No. 2592 Anonymous
9th June 2016
Thursday 3:42 pm
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I moved into a house with a lawn and a greenhouse and a shed and trees and two bathtubs in the garden, all your typical outdoors stuff. Problem is I don't know how to take care of it. What do I do in order to not embarrass myself by doing things like burning out the neighbour's lawnmower?
How do I garden? What basic tools do I need? The only things in the shed are some bags of fertilizer, white paint and a chainsaw.
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>> No. 2606 Anonymous
10th June 2016
Friday 10:17 pm
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>>2596

I've got one of these and it's ace:

http://www.johnlewis.com/bosch-rotak-43-ergoflex-rotary-hand-propelled-lawnmower/p1939773?sku=234354824&kpid=234354824&s_kenid=7631d83a-d271-4a0b-b5f7-8d36f1e75d64&s_kwcid=402x349396&tmad=c&tmcampid=73

...although if you're strapped for cash just get something second hand off eBay/Gumtree whatever. I'd advise A mower, a strimmer, a decent pair of secateurs and a hoe (no tittering at the back).

Just keep your grass mowed once a week and weed your beds and hoe them over every fortnight to start off with.Trim back what you think is overgrown or cutting out the sunshine with the secateurs. Maybe even get some pots and bedding plants (although I'd do it this weekend before it's too late in the year).Actually, whilst I think about it this is really useful:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/gardening/calendar/calendar.shtml#/categories/Bedding-plants/Vegetables/Hedges


I really love gardening - I find it very soothing. Just a nice feeling sitting enjoying a beer in a garden you just made look nice. I have no experience with greenhouses, but I expect you can just keep it clean and rust free (paint it up maybe?) and move onto greenhousing when you get a but better at stuff.

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>> No. 2607 Anonymous
11th June 2016
Saturday 12:27 am
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>>2606

That's great, thanks. I'm not totally strapped, but by the time I can afford that mower the grass will definitely be out of hand and probably just destroy the mower like it did my neighbours one. I really need to go around and offer to pay for it tomorrow, if it's permafucked.

Can you recommend a particular strimmer brand to look for second hand, as that may be the best solution?
>> No. 2608 Anonymous
11th June 2016
Saturday 7:42 pm
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>>2604
Why is it illegal in America? It's just rain water.
>> No. 2609 Anonymous
12th June 2016
Sunday 7:34 pm
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>>2607
At that price you might as well get a cheap or second hand petrol mower, second hand is the way to go if you can make sure it runs. I would break an electric lawnmower in no time, my petrol mower is ancient and I run it over branches, stones, three foot high grass and I've got it stuck on tree stumps, the only thing wrong with it is the self-drive thing doesn't work butI didn't use it anyway. It was left outside unprotected for two years when I thought it was broken, one day I decided to try and fix it, put some petrol and oil in it and it fired up first pull. My point is they last forever, even if you don't look after them so depending on the size of your garden (post a picture) it might be worth the investment.

As for forks and spades, wooden handles are better IMO , but it doesn't really matter what brand, they'll all break eventually, same with loppers, shears etc. If you're buying online just check the reviews and buy the cheapest you can get away with.
>> No. 2610 Anonymous
14th June 2016
Tuesday 11:31 pm
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>>2607

Looks like you could pick up a decent second hand strimmer for £20-30:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=Flymo%20strimmer&_dcat=71277&rt=nc&LH_ItemCondition=3000&_trksid=p2045573.m1684


You will need a grass rake as well though if you are goign to use this on your grass.

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>> No. 2588 Anonymous
24th May 2016
Tuesday 7:18 pm
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http://www.vice.com/read/why-is-nature-actually-good-for-your-mental-health?utm_source=homepage

I'm assuming the gardening underground already knew this. Apologies for linking to Vice.
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>> No. 2589 Anonymous
24th May 2016
Tuesday 7:23 pm
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>>2588

Interesting concept. I live in a rural northern town and every weekend I go walking in the countryside round reservoirs and through forests.

In my line of work it's very rare for jobs to be centred outside of London and I could earn a lot more there, yet everytime I go and marvel at how great London is I never quite get the same feeling as when I have a relaxing nature walk at 7am before everybody is up.

I definitely think it helps.
>> No. 2590 Anonymous
24th May 2016
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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It definitely helps. I've enjoyed getting in touch with my rural side since moving out of the M25, and doing volunteer rangering and conservation. It's something you can do in London in parks and whatnot but there is something about the countryside that makes it worthwhile.
>> No. 2591 Anonymous
24th May 2016
Tuesday 9:12 pm
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I couldn't agree more.

It helps to put your phone in your pocket and take your earphones out too, even if it's just for ten minutes.

You don't have to limit yourself to enjoying the nature that's already there either: Grow a houseplant. Get a bird-feeder. Buy or make some seed-bombs and throw them in some empty or unused land. There's a saying I heard once, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is today.

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>> No. 2577 Anonymous
25th April 2016
Monday 6:10 pm
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I'm planning to try my hand at growing some velvet beans this year. Anyone have experience with this before? Perhaps someone has found a variety without the obnoxious itchy hairs?
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>> No. 2581 Anonymous
26th April 2016
Tuesday 2:06 am
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>>2580

Jesus christ, we really are plumbing new depths.
>> No. 2583 Anonymous
26th April 2016
Tuesday 8:33 pm
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>>2581

OP here. He is just taking the piss.

Velvet beans contain large amounts of dopamine precursors. I already have a legal prescription for Levodopa, but it is a hassle, and I would like to see if the plants can hold me over at times when I can't fill my prescription. I wouldn't want to eat them all the time, because they seem like quite a witches' brew of neurotransmitters, and I prefer to know what I'm putting in my bloodstream.
>> No. 2584 Anonymous
26th April 2016
Tuesday 10:45 pm
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>>2583

Can I ask what you're prescribed Levodopa for? I've consumed a fair few bottles of a supplement with velvet bean extract in it for up to a month at a time with no ill effects that I'm aware of. Then again I'm not sure if it really had any positive effects either.
>> No. 2586 Anonymous
27th April 2016
Wednesday 5:51 pm
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>>2584

Supplements are poorly-regulated, and even with reputable brands there's no great guarantee of potency, especially not if it's been sat on a shelf in a hot warehouse for a month.
With a lot of supplements the dose in a single tablet tends to be too low too, simply because packing enough into a single capsule would make it quite hard to swallow.
>> No. 2587 Anonymous
28th April 2016
Thursday 7:03 am
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>>2584

Lesch-Nyhan syndrome. It is not a common illness or treatment, which is why it's difficult to maintain a prescription.

I heard about velvet beans during some research and assumed they would be quite popular, but it appears they're almost unknown to the DUDE WEED LMAO crowd.

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>> No. 2573 Anonymous
15th February 2016
Monday 7:19 pm
2573 Bear Grylls is a fucking nonce
Remember in the early days we would mock him almost daily? Well here is proof of him much of an amateur he is. Mears, Hiddins and Monsen do their own research and I doubt the have someone clear snakes before they walk through.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/feb/15/how-one-woman-keeps-bear-grylls-alive-survival-megan-hine
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>> No. 2574 Anonymous
15th February 2016
Monday 7:30 pm
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>>2573

>She has just come back from a day of scouting locations in a Romanian forest for a TV show and is doing her best to avoid the bears.

'nuff said.
>> No. 2575 Anonymous
15th February 2016
Monday 7:54 pm
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Obligatory.
>> No. 2576 Anonymous
15th February 2016
Monday 10:02 pm
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wonder if she drinks her own piss too.

(A good day to you Sir!)

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>> No. 2566 Anonymous
6th December 2015
Sunday 9:18 am
2566 Bamboo
If you haven't planted bamboo you should.

My neighbour recently built a yurt using bamboo for the lattice work and such.

http://www.bamboogrove.com/why-bamboo-save-planet.html
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>> No. 2568 Anonymous
6th December 2015
Sunday 9:28 am
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>>2566
If you want your garden to be tidy, then don't, because it fucking spreads everywhere.

(You can keep it in pots, but it doesn't grow anywhere near as well as it would otherwise, and so you lose the benefits.)
>> No. 2569 Anonymous
6th December 2015
Sunday 9:34 am
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>>2568

Oh you tease!
>> No. 2570 Anonymous
15th December 2015
Tuesday 3:22 pm
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Yurtlad, or can I call you Ghengis?

Can you please post some pics of your neighbours yurt, unless it will cause problems. Ask him for any blueprints or similar he may have.

I want to try building one, but small enough for my garden as a replacement for my shed.

I have been looking at designs online, but would be more trusting of something posted here. So far I have been getting distracted by things like yurt furniture and stoves.

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>> No. 2553 Anonymous
18th September 2015
Friday 1:19 pm
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Hello could someone identify this bird for me please?
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>> No. 2561 Anonymous
18th September 2015
Friday 5:01 pm
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>>2558
Yeah, enjoy getting shat on and having your chips nicked for the rest of your life stupid man ape.
>> No. 2562 Anonymous
18th September 2015
Friday 6:49 pm
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>>2561
This. I swear, these fuckers must talk. I swung a brolly at one once and was subsequently half a dozen of the things perched on my balcony and shat all over the decking.
>> No. 2563 Anonymous
19th September 2015
Saturday 12:38 pm
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I honestly don't know if this is a parody of the exact same question I had last year, when one was yapping outside the office where I was temping.

>>2409
>> No. 2564 Anonymous
19th September 2015
Saturday 3:42 pm
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>>2557

Herring gulls protected? Are you fucking kidding me? it's somewhat ubiquitious. If anything they need a bit of a cull so that the less 'chavy' rarer species of birds it competes with can build numbers.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/increasingly-evil-and-cunning-seagulls-open-lettings-agency-20150727100518
>> No. 2565 Anonymous
19th September 2015
Saturday 4:11 pm
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>>2564
They were taken off the "general licence" list a few years ago so you now need the proper permission to fuck with them.

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>> No. 2479 Anonymous
15th March 2015
Sunday 5:17 pm
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>> No. 2548 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 1:51 pm
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What should I grow in my conservatory, lads?
>> No. 2549 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 1:53 pm
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>>2548
Chickens.
>> No. 2550 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 1:56 pm
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>>2549

Not joking. This. I am awaiting the little chicks as we speak. Oh, they don't eat plants like chillies which grow tall. Apparently. We shall see.
>> No. 2551 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 3:01 pm
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>>2548
Strawberries, for making conserve
>> No. 2552 Anonymous
7th July 2015
Tuesday 6:22 pm
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>>2549
>>2550
Cheers, chaps, will report back.

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