|>>|| No. 27574
I wrote this, and I hope you get to see it. It's not too late to change course. Hope you figure it out, anyway.
>Am I one of those people that should go to AA?
>I'm definitely a high functioning alcoholic
I'm not saying AA is right for you, but if someone very close to you is literally saying that they can't live with you drinking as much as you do then that should be a massive wake-up call. It sounds like you're not yet at the bottom of the barrel, which is good, because when you get there you won't ever get out in one piece. You need to understand that nobody ever experiences a major addiction without losing a part of themselves. Some people cover it up and it just stays with them as a hidden scar, something they deal with on a daily basis but which you wouldn't know without them telling you. For others it remains apparent to anyone who meets them. I would give anything to take away the lasting damage that my earlier alcoholism did to my self-esteem and self-worth. I would toss away every last drunken experience, every association I made at the pub, all of it, just to go back to a time when I was not afraid of my own mind.
>it's who I am
Bullshit. You weren't born an alcoholic and you are not defined by alcohol consumption. Addicts tell themselves things like this in order to justify not quitting. It's true that life will be different (likely better, though I know you won't believe that now), but you need to cut this lie out of your addiction's play book.
There are a bunch more things I could say, but since you didn't say how many units a week you're on (have you even asked this yourself? ), it's hard to say how serious a problem this is. I doubt you'd be posting this here if this was really was just three pints a night, but it's possible. Your girlfriend may be overreacting, and you probably think I'm doing the same. How about this: in order to prove me and her wrong, live your life as normal for a week, but just don't drink. If you sleep like a bairn and don't miss it much, then you're probably alright for now. Either way, though, start counting units. If you're putting away 6 or more units per night, every night, then liver damage is not so much a question of "if" as "when".