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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

>> No. 25093 Anonymous
8th July 2017
Saturday 10:47 pm
25093 010 something nice thread
We have the whinging thread in 101 and the minor angst thread here, how about a thread for small things that have happened we're happy about?
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>> No. 25668 Anonymous
18th September 2017
Monday 11:48 pm
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>> No. 25669 Anonymous
19th September 2017
Tuesday 12:15 am
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I have three folders: 'Uncategorised', 'Misc.', and 'Everything Else'.
>> No. 25671 Anonymous
20th September 2017
Wednesday 5:23 am
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I'm going to go to the Freshers event today. I'm going to make friends. They won't even notice my odd voice or complete lack of personality. By February of next year I will be living independently and will be dating a woman who I might even marry, should I wish it, just as soon as she's seen what a fully grown-up-bloke-man I can be.

All of this and more will come to pass under the guidance of Our Goddess Eris.
>> No. 25672 Anonymous
20th September 2017
Wednesday 11:48 am
25672 spacer

>They won't even notice my odd voice or complete lack of personality.

That's par for the course, you're a fresher. You've all got odd voices and no personalities. Speaking as a former mature student, you're all absolutely ludicrous specimens. If you don't have a ridiculous self-imposed nickname, blue hair and some crap patter about your gap yah, then you're well above average in the "not being a bellend" stakes.

>dating a woman who I might even marry

Definitely don't do that. Settle for someone for cuffing season if you want, but get yourself back on the market in April. Don't squander your prime shagging years on the first girl who shows any sort of interest. You're surrounded by nubile and slightly naive girls who are intoxicated by independence and Yaegerbombs. Make the most of it.

>a fully grown-up-bloke-man

Ha! You will look back on your university years with a deep, profound sense of embarrassment; if you don't, you've made a terrible mistake. Students are supposed to be annoying little gobshites who cut about town in a leopard-print onesie, drink cider out of a welly boot and have cringeworthy conversations about Sartre and house music. If you don't make a complete tit of yourself, you'll miss out on most of the fun. Embrace the cringe.
>> No. 25673 Anonymous
20th September 2017
Wednesday 12:07 pm
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Good luck lad. I wouldn't rely on the Goddess to provide you with anything other than chaos though. That is more her purview. Maybe if you were planning to drop acid before going.

>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 25652 Anonymous
16th September 2017
Saturday 10:51 pm
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It's a very common and completely socially acceptable prejudice. When my violent, abusive and shamelessly unrepentant biological father was dying suddenly everyone I had ever met sprung up out of the woodwork to condescend to me about how I should just get over everything that happened to me when I was a kid.

I could handle the "it was different in my day" elderly relatives who seem to have been under the impression that choking and cigarette burns were an ordinary part of discipline back in the late 80s. Easy to dismiss as the cunts they were. Much tougher to deal with were friends who pretended to see things from my point of view or at least respect my decision but actually didn't and were more than willing to play both sides.

8 years later. No regrets. In fact I hope he suffered.
>> No. 25661 Anonymous
18th September 2017
Monday 6:20 pm
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She's the only thing that's made me happy all year but I'm too miserable to send her a text.
>> No. 25662 Anonymous
18th September 2017
Monday 8:00 pm
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im still in that job, surprised i havent offed myself
>> No. 25670 Anonymous
19th September 2017
Tuesday 8:06 pm
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You need a purpose mate. I found mine. I took days off work to find the flattest pebble ever. I haven't even come close and I checked out all of the south east.

After I find it, I will blow my savings on prozzies and drugs, and leave that pebble to my brother.
>> No. 25675 Anonymous
22nd September 2017
Friday 2:18 am
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Not if I shall have anything to do with it! The flattest pebble will be mine. I need it for my own collection of items men covet. And I shall resort to any means and spare no expense to acquire it. Good hunting but your venture is foolish.

>> No. 25624 Anonymous
14th September 2017
Thursday 4:28 pm
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I feel like I'm having a bit of a crisis lads. Long post incoming and you'll have to forgive me if I can't quite artciulate myself as well as I would like to; my brain has been a little foggy lately.

I've had a niggling feeling for a while that I don't feel quite right, and to say I feel disatisfied with myself and my situation would be an understatement. Not that things are bad, I have it much better than a lot of people, but recent events have kicked my mind and anxiety into overgear. I'll explain as best as I can.

About a week or so ago I found out that my dad might be losing his job. The decision is about a year away, there's a good chance that he won't, and even if he does, my parents own the house, have savings etc, so this would hopefully hold them over until he gets something else (he is 59 though and it's the North East so the job market isnt exactly great). I feel confident in him. This doesn't stop me from worrying however - I've always been a worrier. Now, some of this worry is for the obvious reason that I am concerned about my parents. But secondly, it really threw me back because it felt as though a pillar was crumbling. My dad has worked this job since before I was born, it's what I have always known. All the stability and privision is because of that, all the nice things me and my sister had were becuase of that. I'm sure loads of people change jobs (I've had a bunch already), so I don't why this is having such an impact. Since he told me about the situation, my mind has been racing with childhood memories and guilt, I really can't explain why. It does however, feel that my younger years are closing in, one constant I have always known may be coming to an end.

The second thing that happened is that my very good (perhaps best) friend just got engaged and asked me to be best man. Now I'm very happy for them both and it was even because of me they met, so its kind of crazy seeing the whole thing from start to finish. But this also knocked me back - my friends are getting married. Again, I'm happy for them, they are a great couple. It just blows my mind that the guy I met when I was 18 is now getting married. I was speaking to my parents about it and they assumed that me and my girlfriend would be next, as though they wouldn't find it odd, as though I'm at that age already. The concept of physically aging doesn't really bother me, I've never been a looker and I've been losing my hair since 22, but to be considered the age for things such as this and that I should begin settling down blows my mind a little. This all probably sounds quite standard to a lot of people here, that I'm scared of growing up. I get that. But I am struggling with it, and combined with what I mentioned in the paragraph above, I've barely slept all week as silly as it sounds.

A third point is my girlfriend. I do like her and probably do love her, I certainly care about it. But, can't help feel that long term we really aren't suited to one another. The other night something happened that not only confirmed this but also frightened me. Sex has always been a bit of a hot topic with us. Other than when we first got together, my desire for it has been quite low, certainly much lower than hers (I'm not sure why, I don't really masturbate much either, other than to help me sleep). This causes frequent arguments becase I don't always want to have sex, to points where she can get quite nasty. This has always bugged me, as if it were the other way around and I was getting so angry because she wouldn't sleep with me I can't imagine all of the names that would be thrown at me! Anyway, the other night I was concerned with what my dad had just told me and I really wasn't in the mood, so, she gets upset and angry as usual. This time however, she gets more confrontational and complains that I'm just lying in bed (I just wanted to try and sleep at this point), eventually, she grabs a knife from the kitchen and holds it against her wrists so that I would react. This honestly frighened me, and I had the worst panic attack I can remember having as a result. It was unexpected and it was a mean thing to do just to get a reaction out of me. Ever since then, I feel that I have been mentally detatched.

Lastly, I still get that teenage urge of selling my things in a panic and moving to another country (an old, sort of friend got a work visa for Canada and I feel jealous to be honest). I've had a bunch of different jobs (even a proper, sort of respectable grad job at one point, but fuck wearing a tie and shirt and sitting at a desk 9 - 5). At the moment, I get by (cover expenses and save a little) working a bunch of different jobs in the arts and I've decided to have a go getting a video production business off the ground, nothing special right now just some freelance editing gigs to test the water. The thing is, I'm 26 and as mentioned above, I feel like everyone is waiting for me to get a proper full time job and settle down. Conversely, I feel as though I'm waiting for my life to start getting exciting and interesting.

The above has been a bit of a messy post, but like I said my head has been all over lately. I apologise for spelling and grammatical errors, or if it doesn't make sense.

I just want to chat to some of you guys about it, any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. Constructive advice especially, I've tried counselling in the past a few times and it was pointless, it didn't give me any sense of what to do next.
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>> No. 25635 Anonymous
14th September 2017
Thursday 8:18 pm
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>It's the kind of behaviour that can quickly escalate into something much more sinister.
Like what? Taking uncomfortably long and hot showers?

My girlfriend once nonchalantly told me that she cut herself because of me. I told her to cut her wrists if she really means it. She hasn't said anything as stupid as that since.
>> No. 25653 Anonymous
17th September 2017
Sunday 9:40 pm
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Sorry lads, I've been working away this weekend so I've just seen the responses. Very much appreciate all the advice though.

Aren't they all?

I've calmed down a fair bit since then regarding my dad, especially since having a chat with him. Worst case, I can help him find something when the time comes or at least put him a CV together, applying for jobs is a fair bit different than it was 30 odd years ago.

I think my anxiety did steep from seeing him having a vulnerability. Despite my age, I still sort of see my dad as a bloke who can just get on with anything and have it sorted, him being in a predicament seems so odd to me.

I'm not envious that my friends are getting married, I think it's a bit of a risk these days, it's just the idea of them moving on and settling down - I want to do the opposite, I know that 26 isn't old but it doesn't feel young either. It's easy to disregard what people think of you, but it's hard to not give a fuck sometimes.

As for the lass, I probably should. Deep down I sort of feel that I'll see it to the end and suffer the misery instead of nipping it in the bud. Other than the incident I mentioned previously, things are fine with us, so it makes it very difficult.

Regarding Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I like it in theory, I tried it, and it did nothing for me. Neither did regular counselling and couples counselling felt like a bigger waste of time - couldn't help but feel the bloke was trying to pin all of the problems on me.
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>> No. 25655 Anonymous
17th September 2017
Sunday 10:59 pm
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>Despite my age, I still sort of see my dad as a bloke who can just get on with anything and have it sorted, him being in a predicament seems so odd to me.
If you're 26 then yeah, it's certainly time you started seeing your dad as a regular human being with flaws and all, not an infallible font of ability and security.

>Other than the incident I mentioned previously, things are fine with us
She grabbed a knife and threatened to cut her wrists because you wouldn't have sex with her, and you mentioned she has been "quite nasty" about your sex life in the past. Try and put yourself in the shoes of people reading this. Imagine a friend told you that, what would your reaction be? I'm as loathe as the other posters here to trot out the usual "dump the crazy bitch" rhetoric, but that is seriously worrying behaviour and at the very least you two need to sit down and talk it out. Communicate your concerns, and make sure you let her do the same. Try and listen.

Good luck mate, hope it all works out, especially that video production business you mentioned; even if you're just thinking seriously about getting that sort of thing off the ground then you're ahead of most of your peers in terms of ambition and maturity.
>> No. 25657 Anonymous
18th September 2017
Monday 12:15 am
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> I feel that my situation would be improved if I just had the balls to be honest with myself

There you go, thats a great start. Look in the mirror - take responsibility for your own life, it's all your fault. I find this to be the most liberating idea, because if you take responsibility for something, you can fix it.

Dump the mad bitch.
>> No. 25658 Anonymous
18th September 2017
Monday 10:11 am
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>which is a highly treatable problem

...if you can get treatment for it. I've been waiting about a year now.

>> No. 25506 Anonymous
6th September 2017
Wednesday 10:57 am
25506 How do you be less boring?

I'm a boring cunt.

I mean, this really hit me when a drunk girl shouted it at me in a club, but it's true.

I like graphic design of the 1960s and road signs. The sort of music I listen to involves polite headbanging and absolutely no dancing.

I go to societies at university to escape the crippling loneliness I feel most of the time, and any time they hold a night out I force myself to go, but I can't dance. I just freeze up; I end up stood there leaning against a wall or a pole or whatever (with my earplugs in, I struggle to hear anything when the volume is too loud, it's just like static). People will grab my arms, etc, trying to get me to dance, but I can't. I wish I could, but I can't.

I don't even like drinking any more; I used to get quite drunk on the regular but it doesn't make me any more interesting, it just amplifies the negative thoughts inside my head, and makes me feel physically like shit too -- I used to be hangover-proof but as I'm discovering that fades very quickly with age.

I tried some of the devil's lettuce (in a jurisdiction where it is legal), and I suppose like with any mood altering substance you need to be in the right frame of mind to start with or it won't end well -- it didn't, I hated it. I felt out of control and just panicked.

Is there any way out of this? Finding friends with similar interests is difficult, and the few that I do find are like me: largely dull.
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>> No. 25642 Anonymous
15th September 2017
Friday 8:53 pm
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If you don't have the licensing rights to a piece of music then you cannot play it in a public place. That's the law. Otherwise artists (or rather, their labels) don't receive their due royalties for their work.

To keep things simple the vast majority of recording artists and subcontract the business of music licensing to the Performing Right Society, or PRS For Music Ltd. They collect a standard fee from you, and then you can play Radio 2 as much as you like in your pub.
>> No. 25643 Anonymous
15th September 2017
Friday 9:10 pm
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Shame torrenting hasn't killed the music industry.
>> No. 25644 Anonymous
15th September 2017
Friday 9:42 pm
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As long as people are willing to nosh another person off just so that they will maybe possibly might consider asking someone else if the maybe possibly could listen to the first 10 seconds of their song, there will always be a music industry.
>> No. 25645 Anonymous
15th September 2017
Friday 9:57 pm
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The industry is a shitshow, but I'll defend PRS to the death. Major, independent or unsigned, PRS fight to make sure that musicians get paid. For struggling artists at the bottom of the ladder, those quarterly cheques are often the only thing keeping the wolf from the door.
>> No. 25647 Anonymous
16th September 2017
Saturday 2:27 pm
25647 OP
Well this took an interesting turn.

I wear invisible earplugs to places like this as I have sensitive hearing anyway. They aren't the bright orange sticky-outy ones, so no-one can tell unless they stare into my ear.

If I don't wear them, I have to ask people to repeat things past the point of what they said being relevant.

>> No. 25548 Anonymous
8th September 2017
Friday 10:56 am
25548 Clearing up shit.
Sorry to bother you lads about this, but I was wondering if anybody who has recovered from long term depression has two cents to throw into my hat.

I've visited my Dad for the first time in 6 years, and in a nutshell, he's in a fucking state.

Drinking 20 to 25 pints a day every day, chain smoking, and his flat is fucking crammed. He's hoarded a ton of shit. He was always big on recycling and looking after the environment, but this is ridiculous. There are over 37 empty washed jars of coffee above one cupboard alone.

He's hit a spiral of depression ever since he split with my mother. And I'm starting to pity the man, he's got a heart of gold but he's terrible with addiction.

I'm staying at his place for a week, and I intend to clear his place up best I can before I leave. Any recommendations on how I can encourage him to help himself a bit more, or how I can shift all of this gear in a safe way. Any strategies that help hoarders or alcoholics would be very useful.

I appreciate any help gents.
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>> No. 25551 Anonymous
8th September 2017
Friday 11:50 am
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>He's hit a spiral of depression ever since he split with my mother.

That can really throw a man out of his orbit. After decades of marriage, it can really mess you up if your partner suddenly or not so suddenly leaves you. One of my dad's friends had the same thing happen to him, and it turned him into a fucking mess. He also lost the house and his kids moved in with their mum, and he had to start life from zero again, aged 47.

He also had a bout of alcoholism, but he eventually came around again when his boss threatened to fire him if he was going to come to work inebriated one more time. He sobered up and even met a new partner.

Your dad probably needs a wakeup call. Something that will show him quite clearly on what kind of a self-destructive path he is. Unfortunately, alcoholism clouds your judgement quite intensely, so it might really take a bit of a shock to make your dad see what he is doing to himself.

But he really needs you being there for him now, first and foremost. He needs to know that somebody still cares about him. You're doing a good thing by staying with him. That alone can make a huge difference and make him realise that his life isn't as pointless as he may feel it is.
>> No. 25586 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 9:12 pm
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Apologies for being blunt, but there's fuck all point setting him up on a dating website right now if he really is currently drinking 25 pints a day; worst case, he finds someone with similar intake, they enable each others' addiction, and he moves from a toxic situation into a toxic relationship, which is even worse. As it is, you need to understand that it's going to take quite a bit of time and incredible effort on his part to taper down from that amount to being able to sleep regularly without any alcohol at all. Reducing consumption rapidly (over the course of a few days) would be dangerous, stopping outright would be life-threatening, especially if he's already physically unfit, as older blokes tend to be.

You're doing the right thing by staying with him, but at some point as >>25551 mentions he is going to need some catalyst, some wake-up call, to get him to change his ways. Even if we knew more of the particulars of your situation it'd still be difficult to advise what shape that should take, mainly because the drive to recover has got to come from him.
>> No. 25590 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 11:08 pm
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Christ. I don't necessarily have any advice to give but yeah, you'll want to do something soon because with that level of daily drug intake he'll kill himself before long.
>> No. 25608 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 2:30 pm
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Although I hadn't responded earlier, I've kept a close eye to the advice you gentlemen have given. Thank you, it's greatly appreciated.

I mentioned having grand kids over a few pints on the first day, told him he better not be dead by the time they come. His face lit up as I mentioned grand kids. That and the mention of my intent of playing the violin, he used to play all the time, busking, at home, after and before shifts. He has a shit telly that cuts out audio frequently, having read your comment, I made him a deal that I'll buy him a new telly if he teaches me some Bach on the violin. Caught him tuning it back up a few times. Thanks for the suggestion, I hope he's rediscovered the rabbit hole.

Thank you for the information mate, insightful.

While cleaning up stuff in my Dad's flat he told me that I've been a bit of a wake up call. He's been neglectent to have me around for some time dodging calls and ignoring people. after mentioning that I'm coming regardless of his permission, he started moving a bit.

After 6 month period of alcohol induced insomnia, he ended up losing his job of 8 years. I've been with him to create a new CV, and hes looking to work in a new field. Things appear to be on the up, let's hope he sees it through. Thanks again.

No need to apologies, I like straight talkers. Thanks for the advice, we're taking it into effect. He's currently on 7 cans a day, we're going to get it down to 5 a day. We started at 15 and it has been less than a week. Once at 5 a day, we're going to shut down one day a week, then two and so on. The effect on his body has been brutal turmoil, hope it gets easier. Thank you for the response.

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>> No. 25623 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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It is a learning experience - you get to a certain point in your life when your eyes are opened up about who your parents actually are. Good luck lad.

>> No. 24845 Anonymous
27th April 2017
Thursday 5:32 pm
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My life has gone downhill ever since I met a Brazilian Ju Jitsu fighter at Westfield and saw him selling copies of big tissue. It's strange but the way I remember it was that I was set for everything but at December in 2011, things became worse. Nothing mattered and I couldn't eat much as well as wondering whether the nootropics I was taking would actually end up in me being hospitalised. It becomes extraordinarily strange when I realise a lot of it was recorded on this here website, on the IRC itself. I want to understand exactly what was happening in 2012. There's some more things that happened which include kidnapping, torture and brainwashing (as well as strong secret service intimidation) but I wanted to find out exactly why my life became strange.

I remember absolutely everything as well as absolutley nothing. If you get my gist.
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>> No. 25618 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 6:11 pm
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Telling people to pack their rice.
>> No. 25619 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 6:16 pm
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>> No. 25620 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 6:16 pm
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This is hilarious.
>> No. 25621 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 6:33 pm
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If you're talking about the same meetup I attended, I refuse to believe any MI5 recruitment front would involve the playing of 2 girls 1 cup on a widescreen projector.
>> No. 25622 Anonymous
13th September 2017
Wednesday 7:04 pm
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Ah but thats what we they want you to think!

>> No. 25359 Anonymous
26th August 2017
Saturday 5:38 pm
25359 love
here's the quick rundown:

>girl i like
>like a whole lot
>childhood friend
>known her since forever
>asked her out
>she said no

that was about 2 months ago.
i told my friend about it and he said i need to confess my feelings to her properly, anime style.
she's going to uni next year, meanwhile, i'm a permavirgin NEET of 2 years with no job, no A levels (college dropout), and no car.
i've been trying to escape the NEET life and better myself. job hunting, going to the gym, and i want to get into college this year too.
i feel like if i rushed into a confession now i would sperg it up and end up committing the 'cide.
should i just go for it or should i try to get more comfortable around women first? how can i do that?
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>> No. 25584 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 8:48 pm
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I'll send her your constructive feedback, I didn't realise she was a lesbian but apparently she likes cunts.
>> No. 25585 Anonymous
9th September 2017
Saturday 9:04 pm
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Well, if you're going to chat with her, could you tell her to get the Marmite ready? I'll be coming around shortly.
>> No. 25593 Anonymous
10th September 2017
Sunday 1:21 am
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>I will add that anime is a gateway to carpet-baggerry. 

Not all of it. But there is some anime that is. Especially certain facets of hentai anime.

("Hentai" interestingly actually means "pervert")
>> No. 25595 Anonymous
10th September 2017
Sunday 1:53 am
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Not all, sure, but a good majority. It isn't just "hentai" either. There are a good amount of popular shows starting every season which include very suggestive stuff like eight year olds being "lewd," to put it lightly. Cute is a synonym for "I want to stick my dick in that" in the neckbeard world.
>> No. 25601 Anonymous
11th September 2017
Monday 12:48 pm
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> Cute is a synonym for "I want to stick my dick in that" in the neckbeard world.

Now you're being unfair to neckbeards.

>> No. 25406 Anonymous
31st August 2017
Thursday 1:11 pm
25406 shit tests women play on you
So I've just come out of a ten-month relationship with a lass who was becoming ever more unbearable. She had pretty serious self esteem issues, and always both needed endless support with even the simplest decisions and continuously tried to test the quality of our relationship. Yes, you may rightly say that women do that, but with her, it was just a constant fucking struggle. Pointless hypothetical questions were standard, such as, "Would you still love me if I was as ugly as that girl over there?" (pro tip: don't say "yes", say "But you'll never be that ugly", in the hope that calling a random girl undesirable based on her looks wasn't the wrong answer at that moment), or "Do you want this pendant back if we break up?" I carelessly got her a pendant for our 6 month anniversary. Right answer probably would have been "Oh, but don't you now, my sweet darling, we'll never break up for all eternity!". But I just shrugged and said "I don't care", with an ironic smile that appeared to go unnoticed.

Or telling me about the latest drivel she had read in some women's magazine about "markers" of healthy romantic relationships, and asking me where I thought our relationship fit into that picture. The kind of subject matter a regular bloke would neither ever think about, nor be equipped to ponder with anywhere near the same amount of dedication as seems to be common with many women.

We reached a mutual understanding that our relationship was best not continued, after we had a massive fight last weekend when I wanted to go work on my car with my best mate instead of spending the day with her. She said "You never make me feel special". I then made the mistake of telling her that she needs to sort out her self esteem and shit test issues on her own time and not drag me or whatever partner will come after me down with her. She told me I was a cold-hearted arsehole for putting it that way. And the words "or any bloke that will come after me" really sent her into meltdown. It was then that we agreed that we should no longer see each other.

She brought this onto herself. She doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs a shrink. Or a boyfriend who is a shrink. For the nearest future, I think I am kind of done with women. I had too many WTF moments with her. It all just needs to settle before I feel I will have the enthusiasm again for a new relationship.
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>> No. 25433 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 6:17 pm
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Some are, so are some men. Humans in general can be shit cunts.

Try to find the ones that are not.
>> No. 25434 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 6:25 pm
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Aye, you're definitely not the problem.
>> No. 25435 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 8:15 pm
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>who isn't bigoted towards half the huamn race


>> No. 25436 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 10:20 pm
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Explain what? Use words.
>> No. 25438 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 9:17 pm
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Explain who you think is being bigoted against whom.

>> No. 25420 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 3:38 am
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How soon after taking someone's anal virginity can you break up with someone?

This isn't a troll thread.
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>> No. 25426 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 1:20 pm
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Three days in my case. She still hates me over a decade later.
>> No. 25428 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 1:44 pm
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Not to disparage your character, but it wasn't solely the bumming, was it?
>> No. 25429 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 1:55 pm
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Hopeless romantic. 2 year relationship, it's been on a downwards spiral for a while now. I was gonna break up with her last night, we end to a bar, I got a pint to give myself some fortitude for the task ahead, ended up getting hammered, went home and bummed her.
>> No. 25430 Anonymous
1st September 2017
Friday 2:21 pm
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Sounds like you need to be clearer on what you want. Not just to her, but to yourself.
>> No. 25437 Anonymous
2nd September 2017
Saturday 11:31 am
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Depends on how soon you want to her to think you're gay.

>> No. 25346 Anonymous
23rd August 2017
Wednesday 8:35 am
25346 Getting on
Alright britla.ds. The state of my life has recently stagnated and fallen into a downward spiral (some of you may recall my post from earlier this year about breaking up with my girlfriend of two years) and on introspection I've realised that I've been indulging more and more in self-destructive behaviours. I can only assume this is a subconscious counter to the humdrum everyday life has become, but this is not the least of my issues.

Problem the First: Loneliness
I don't particularly get on with my high school friends, nor do I talk to my family save for my old man who is conveniently a hour's travel minimum away at any given moment. As aforementioned, I broke up with my live-in girlfriend earlier this year for issues I'm now thinking were more my own than hers. My best friend killed himself 4 years ago and I've never really been able to move past it and find somebody I can confide in quite so honestly despite therapy.

Problem the Second: Career Prospects
I'm good at what I do (front-end design and development, though not so savvy in actual programming languages) but I don't have any university qualifications and I feel I'm a little too old — twenty-four to be exact — to be getting a bachelor's or the like.

Problem the Third: Responsibility
My dad had a bit of a nest egg for us he'd raised off some old children's savings plan from the '90s and nurtured it until it matured into a nice £10k payout. I decided to put it down as a deposit on an apartment in my city through a Help to Buy scheme. At the time I was caught up in the hubris of flying the nest (especially due to my stilted relations with my mum) but in retrospect it's a big price to pay to be worse off mentally.

I'm sure some of the older members here will have been through a similar issue and come out relatively unscathed or even better off. I'd love to hear how you made it. I'm at my wit's end here.
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>> No. 25350 Anonymous
23rd August 2017
Wednesday 1:52 pm
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>I don't have any university qualifications and I feel I'm a little too old — twenty-four to be exact — to be getting a bachelor's or the like.

I visited my Man-child 32 year old friend who has just finished his degree on the weekend, with my friend who is currently doing his Open University degree part time at 33. You are fine if you want to take that route, if that is what you want to do.
>> No. 25351 Anonymous
23rd August 2017
Wednesday 2:49 pm
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>Problem the First
>Problem the Second
>Problem the Third

Sorry for the tangent but I've seen people structuring sentences like that in lots of places, and wondered where it originated, but had no luck googling it.
>> No. 25352 Anonymous
23rd August 2017
Wednesday 4:26 pm
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I started my degree at the age of 31. If you don't have any better ideas, then you could do a lot worse than applying for university. It'll improve your career prospects and give you the opportunity to meet lots of new people. The Access to HE course is a good option if you bollocksed up your A levels.
>> No. 25353 Anonymous
23rd August 2017
Wednesday 10:12 pm
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1. I also lost contact with my "school friends" quite early in my twenties. I think its normal. People who go to public school(s) do a very good job of maintaining some of their friendships in later life, I have noticed, but not state schools. I'm not sure what thats about. In my case, its because my school friends were just that, school friends, they weren't mates for life. Very very few people are.

2. You don't need a degree to work in programming or technology. I am living proof of that. I earn more than anyone else I know (>£100k) and dropped out of a degree in the first year.

3. Welcome to being a grown up.

You're normal and the anxiety you feel is normal for a 24 year old. You're just becoming an adult. Making (and keeping) good friends is hard, you tend to find and meet them in the strangest places, and they're adults too, just like you, dealing with their own shit.

Try and relax. Exercise helps. Find good hobbies, that might help you to meet new people.

I repeat, you sound entirely normal to me.
>> No. 25355 Anonymous
24th August 2017
Thursday 1:20 pm
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> You don't need a degree to work in programming or technology.

No; but it helps because it gives you an underlying understanding of what you're doing, beyond being able to throw together a few hundred lines of code that compile correctly.

I'm happy for you that you seem to be able to make a handsome living with your work. But I've seen people like you manage large tech projects, and their inability to listen to valid concerns raised by programmers with an actual degree in computer science was largely owed to a quite cursory understanding of the art of programming itself. The worst offenders, though, are people with a degree in business who "once did a computer programming project at uni". When they are put in charge of a project, their hubris usually stifles even the most reasonable ideas put forward by your programmers to improve a project's code base.

>> No. 25137 Anonymous
13th July 2017
Thursday 7:39 pm
25137 Midlife crisis
Everyone is different so I don't expect any clear answers, but just wanted to get some experience based advice as to how to deal with my ongoing midlife crisis.

I've not done any of the cliche stuff like buying a sports car or dressing like a teen, but I have found myself acting teen laddish in relation to sexual behaviour and drugs. The latter is a total non-starter at work and could undo nearly two decades of hard work in a field which is very very small and closed. As its a physical thing I think I've knocked it on the head and feel confident about it as I've previously been a heavy drinker, due to work, and now barely touch a drop.

What I'm more worried about is the sexual stuff. None of it is illegal, but I'm finding myself more and more emotionally uneasy about what I seem to be getting into. To some extent this unease and discomfort is part of the attraction.
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>> No. 25341 Anonymous
22nd August 2017
Tuesday 2:54 pm
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How's your commute?
>> No. 25342 Anonymous
22nd August 2017
Tuesday 3:11 pm
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40 minute tube journey 20 mins walk. Flexible start time.
>> No. 25343 Anonymous
22nd August 2017
Tuesday 9:39 pm
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What movie is the OP pic from?
>> No. 25344 Anonymous
22nd August 2017
Tuesday 9:40 pm
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>> No. 25345 Anonymous
22nd August 2017
Tuesday 11:13 pm
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Smoke more. Vaping is even better.

>> No. 25219 Anonymous
7th August 2017
Monday 12:17 pm
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I found myself on a particularly powerful E tablet at the weekend, I'm not really that kind of person but I've done the stuff a few of times this year. It doesn't usually make me spout complete bollocks, but this time it did.

Anyway, whilst attempting to have a shit in my mate's dad's small toilet, with my simply drunk mate stood in front of me getting changed, I for some reason decided to ask him if he'd ever had a formative gay experience. Don't really know why. Turns out we both had, I suppose of lot of people have. Another time, another friend admitted to me quite loudly in a nightclub smoking area that he frequently found himself fantasising about his sister.

Next day he swung by to drop off some clothes I'd left and it was somewhat awkward. I don't even know how to remark on it though, to apologise or something. We've been great friends for years and never really fallen out, but it seems a bit like one of those things that has probably been buried for years and shouldn't have been dug up.
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>> No. 25220 Anonymous
7th August 2017
Monday 12:51 pm
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General rule of thumb is the bollocks your mates come out with while under the influence is just something you pretend you forgot.

Move on and don't try to bring it up again, especially sober. Bear in mind you're coming down still so you're feeling even more guilt and remorse than is usual.

>> No. 25201 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 9:19 pm
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I hate myself so damn much. I fucked up so much. I've not made the most of the opportunities I've had. I'm a coward I won't make a change for the better. I literally stare at myself in the mirror and tell me I hate myself.

I just needed to rant.
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>> No. 25205 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 9:56 pm
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Is this the Forer effect or are we all just miserable people?
>> No. 25206 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 10:02 pm
25206 OH-PEE
I'm slowly accepting I can't change anything I've done/NOT DONE. How do I take more risk? how do I grab an opportunity?
>> No. 25208 Anonymous
4th August 2017
Friday 10:54 pm
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Just do things when they occur to you. Override your natural inhibitions. Make decisions when drunk if you have to. The trick is not being so hung-over by the time you have to follow through that you back down.
>> No. 25212 Anonymous
5th August 2017
Saturday 1:51 pm
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Everything you know and love will some day cease to be. All your plans for the future, if not completely futile will at least spiral out of your control. It's not that life is meaningless; there is no such thing as meaning for it to lack.

It's all just a bunch of stuff happening. You are not being judged. Everything you do will be forgotten. You cannot fail, in the grand scheme of things, for there is no standard for success.

Basically, there's no point caring about having screwed up. Life is just keeping yourself amused until you die. You can just choose what you care about, until it gets boring.
>> No. 25217 Anonymous
5th August 2017
Saturday 4:53 pm
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When you say you hate yourself, who is it that is doing the hating?

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