[ rss / options / help ]
post ]
[ b / iq / g / zoo ] [ e / news / lab ] [ v / nom / pol / eco / emo / 101 / shed ]
[ art / A / beat / boo / com / fat / job / lit / map / mph / poof / £$€¥ / spo / uhu / uni / x / y ] [ * | sfw | o ]
Subject   (new thread)
File  [] []
>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
193 posts and 18 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24923 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 1:04 am
24923 spacer

Self-neglect and low motivation are big warning signs for depression. Get yourself to the GP.
>> No. 24924 Anonymous
20th May 2017
Saturday 9:27 pm
24924 spacer
And tell him what? The whole thing is drawn out.
>> No. 24925 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 1:57 pm
24925 spacer

The doctor tried to tell me I was depressed for these reasons, so I had to remind him that not only am I already on an antidepressant for anxiety, I suffer from chronic back and joint pain and told him if he gave me better painkillers I'd shower more than was absolutely necessary to keep my wife from leaving me.

I shaved recently for the first time in about a year and had to use scissors on it first, because I was going to a wedding. Up until that point I couldn't be arsed because it really hurt my arm and wrist and my wife liked it... for a bit. She started offering to shave it for me, but I was too proud, but eventually conceded the moustache because she threatened to stop having sex with me so she was trimming it with a beard trimmer every time it got "scratchy".

It's all about perspective, both of those things apply to me but I'm pretty OK mentally.
>> No. 24926 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 6:31 pm
24926 spacer

Cognitive Behavoural Therapy can be really useful for chronic pain. It won't make the pain better, but it can make it easier to live with. Have you ever been referred to a pain clinic or the Expert Patients Programme?
>> No. 24927 Anonymous
21st May 2017
Sunday 10:15 pm
24927 spacer

Yeah, the Pain Clinic are fucking heroes. They gave me my first TENS machine and put me on pre-gabalin (which is cracking stuff).

The nurses have good chat and tolerance for swearing, first time I went they gave me a form with pictures of the body and told me to highlight were it hurt. I highlighted the whole thing and handed it back to him and he was just like "...fair enough. You want to sit in my desk chair, these seat are shit?" I sat in the chair.

>> No. 24266 Anonymous
23rd February 2017
Thursday 10:48 am
24266 Well fuck...
Jesus Christ I am having a fucking hard time at the moment...

My fucking bitch of a girlfriend came round to my place the other day and went mad raging because the laplander in the shop wouldn't let her use her card and made her get cash out instead. So then we went back to what USED to be my place and she continued raging shouting at the top of her voice about the laplander. The fucking thing is my neighbours just so happen to be of that race.

Next thing the fucking landlord comes round and says that there has been a complaint about her and that we need to keep it down. After this we go to the kitchen and start cooking, and some black guy that lives in the next room comes in and he's all like "hey girl" which pissed me off no end. Fucking thing is though, he is massive. So I do my best to defend my position but ended up getting knocked the fuck out and thrown down the stairs. All the while this bitch is standing there loving seeing two blokes argue over her.

Anyway, the landlord came again and fucking evicted me. Then she fucking left me stranded and refused to let me into her place. Since then I have been sleeping rough and I do not have a clue what to do. I've lost my phone, I've developed a huge alcohol problem and I don't even know what to do about any of it. Sorry for repeating myself I'm on a bit of a rant.

Has anyone got any suggestions?
133 posts and 10 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24908 Anonymous
8th May 2017
Monday 1:36 am
24908 spacer

At the risk of sounding harsh it seems like the best place for you lad. Unless you live in a Kafka novel, if everyone around you seems nuts on the balance of probability it's actually you who is nuts.

You've been sent to loony bin twice in about as many months. Take a pause and think about that.
>> No. 24910 Anonymous
8th May 2017
Monday 2:07 am
24910 spacer

Some people might see fit to date or associate with gutter-trash people as part of a mental health issue or self-esteem problem or something. e.g. I know this guy whose girlfriend was an ex-prostitute, and that's how he met her because he hired her, and she lost him two flats. There's a huge problem there but the problem isn't that he's imagining she's crazy.
>> No. 24913 Anonymous
10th May 2017
Wednesday 5:49 pm
24913 spacer

>if everyone around you seems nuts

I think you might want to re-read that post, lad.
>> No. 24914 Anonymous
11th May 2017
Thursday 6:55 pm
24914 spacer
OP here...

I cannot really say much at the moment as I have a mental health worker monitoring me over my shoulder in a kind of roundabout way, but an update will follow and it will definitely help a lot of people out that find themselves in similar situations.

I have found out how to play the system and get help at the same time. I really did need some help with some mental health issues that I never really realised that I actually had.

Anyway, that is as much as I can say for now, but as soon as I get a chance I will post an update from someone's smartphone in due course.
>> No. 24915 Anonymous
12th May 2017
Friday 4:38 pm
24915 spacer
I am still here...

I have gained my diagnosis for PTSD and depression and will now be getting all the help that I need with benefits and proper housing not some shitty hostel. This has helped my frame of my mind no end. They have put me on anti depressants which will work properly and put a plan in place...

Excellent... I am still being supervised so I will have to write more later.

>> No. 24906 Anonymous
7th May 2017
Sunday 11:28 pm
24906 spacer
I wanted some literature to help cope with a few glaring issues I have discovered in myself after being left alone for the whole weekend and writing down everything I could. I doubt it is obvious to others who interact with me, but I have known for quite some time that I suffer from extreme self-esteem issues. I try my best to correct it, but as it is with things that make-up you... it is me. My self-esteem is lacking horrifically, especially at low points in my life. Feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and lack of pride dog me constantly, and I suffer from an acute form of self-conciousness.

They manifest in how I conduct myself and it impacts everything I do to almost all my relationships. I have been known for being shy, but this is kind of beyond that. I mumble and never speak clearly for fear that I might say something wrong or mispronounce something. If people don't hear me and they say "sorry," it just sets me off into a downward spiral. I hide everything I can from everyone and to those close to me too. When asked about the car I drive, I start stuttering and kick myself at night before bed because "what the fuck is wrong with the car I drive that I feel embarrassed about?" When taking down notes while speaking on the phone, I have to hide what I am writing, and I realise the absurdity of my actions later on. I have to constantly remind myself that other people do it, it isn't embarrassing.

I assume I come off weird, meek and aimless. I tried masking it, but it comes off. It all clicked when I was thinking all these things over today and yesterday. This is also why I dream about just disappearing -- Not dying, but just ceasing to exist.

I have figured out where most of this stems from, but the past can't be changed and I would much rather read about others who might have insight into this or have dealt with this and how they may have come over it. So lads, any experiences, drugs or books to help with these issues would be greatly appreciated.

Especially books or drugs.
Expand all images.
>> No. 24907 Anonymous
7th May 2017
Sunday 11:34 pm
24907 spacer
The drugs don't work, they just make it worse. For realsies. You could try something like How to make friends and influence people; it's a rather obnoxious title for a book but I've heard from numerous people that it helped them in a way most other self-help books don't.

While it's not specifically geared to help with that problem, Prometheus Rising may also have some useful insights into how you can alter your own perception and self-perception for the better.
>> No. 24909 Anonymous
8th May 2017
Monday 2:02 am
24909 spacer

>This is also why I dream about just disappearing -- Not dying, but just ceasing to exist.

Maybe you've got an over-the-top ego, in a spiritual sense, and if you were to find enlightenment, that would annihilate "you" (your false self.)
>> No. 24911 Anonymous
8th May 2017
Monday 2:19 am
24911 spacer
Here's the state of the art of psychotherapy, as I understand it:

The idea of self-esteem is inherently damaging. It teaches us to evaluate ourselves like we're interviewing someone for a job, weighing up our pluses and minuses and deciding if we're worthy. The problem is that the human mind is inherently pessimistic, for vital evolutionary reasons. In our hunter-gatherer past, failing to identify a threat or being rejected by the tribe could easily result in death. The laid-back tribesmen died off, while their paranoid peers lived to pass on their paranoid genes. You'll always come up short against your own standards, because you evolved to be unrealistically harsh and fearful.

The alternative is self-acceptance. You might be weird and meek and aimless, you might not be. Either way, you're basically OK. There are plenty of people in the world who are meek and weird and aimless who still live happy and fulfilled lives. You might want to work towards changing those traits, but beating yourself up about them isn't going to help. Shame and self-loathing isn't very motivating.

If you have a negative thought, you don't have to believe in it, nor do you have to dispute it. You can recognise the thought for what it is - just a thought. It's just some electrical impulses firing in your brain. You can recognise that you're having a thought without taking it seriously. True or false, it's just some stuff that's happening in your brain.

The weird catch-22 is that trying to repress those negative thoughts is entirely counterproductive. It's like someone constantly saying "don't think of a pink elephant, don't think of a pink elephant". Whatever we refuse to think, that's what we'll think. Whatever we refuse to feel, that's what we'll feel. Trying to avoid painful thoughts and feelings only gives them more power. We create vicious cycles in our mind based on fear and avoidance. This is particularly pronounced in anxiety-related disorders, but applies to a broad range of psychological problems.

The latest generation of psychotherapies aren't interested in getting rid of your negative thoughts or feelings, because that rarely works in practice. Instead, they offer tools and techniques for learning to tolerate those negative thoughts and feelings. Instead of trying to suppress those thoughts and feelings, we let them come and go. Instead of living in spite of our negative thoughts and feelings, we live with them. As we learn to tolerate these thoughts and feelings without trying to repress them, they lose all their sting. Paradoxically, our negative thoughts and feelings will start to occur less often, but only because we're willing to tolerate them when they do occur.

This process is accelerated by learning to be mindful of the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. The source of our misery is rarely about what's happening right now. Learning to focus on the present moment helps us to see that we aren't defined by our history. It helps us to put our worries and fears in perspective.

In recent years, western psychotherapy has been gleefully pillaging and refining Buddhist mindfulness techniques. We've started to separate out the useful practices from the superstitious mumbo-jumbo. It's like the discovery of aspirin - ancient people chewed willow bark to reduce pain, but it took us until the 19th century to figure out the useful molecule. We have approaches to mindfulness that originated in traditional Buddhist practice, but are now supported by clinical evidence.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 24912 Anonymous
8th May 2017
Monday 2:36 am
24912 spacer


>> No. 24897 Anonymous
6th May 2017
Saturday 8:26 am
24897 About to get evicted from my flat, any way to hold on longer?
Had a load of job shit, fell 2 months behind on rent, looking for places at the moment but won't get any confirmation for a week.

I've lived here 18 months. The contract lasted 12 months, my landlady 'really liked me' because I'm quiet and clean and polite, so when it ran out she let me stay without signing anything else. Despite 'all inclusive rent' I agreed to a £50pcm hike to help out with bills, helped her paint the flat, sort out a new tenant. Basically, I haven't been acting like a shit until just recently. After being asked to buy a contract and a key for the new tenant, it became clear that my landlady was incredibly unreliable. When I originally lost my job I just stopped paying rent and waited for her to notice. It was 2 months before she contacted me, she wants either £500 or £1000, I'm not quite sure, because I don't think I have to pay it (it can come out of my deposit and the ~£750 I happily paid her in extra for bills over the months), and really I have no intention of paying it unless legally bound.

Since I'm not contractually bound by anything, that's all run out and I have the only copy of the original contract, and my 'landlady' is renting this property from assisted living, so what's the deal here? Can she just kick me out as soon as she gets back in the country? Any kind of squatters rights I can invoke to get a few weeks of space? Not sure how long it'll take me to find a house, but I intend to be gone within the fortnight, and would be using the money that I've managed to gather since getting a new job to pay the deposit on that rather than pay one/two months rent.
Expand all images.
>> No. 24898 Anonymous
6th May 2017
Saturday 10:28 am
24898 spacer
You have what is called a 'resulting contract'. Essentially you follow the same terms as what the original contract would have stated.
>> No. 24899 Anonymous
7th May 2017
Sunday 2:52 am
24899 spacer

Cheers, good to know. There isn't actually a copy of the original contract around, I think my landlady lost it, so would that affect anything?

>> No. 24881 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 11:05 pm
24881 Values
A friend has a history of alopecia (hair loss) asotiated with work stress. It's beginning to return as she's started a new, more demanding, job. She keeps complaining about the hair loss and sending pictures of its progress.

Its clear she values her work more than her hair, yet she continues to complain and, I guess, feel bad about it.

Should I say this to her? Of course on some level she knows this, but I find it helpful to recognise the simplicity of my problems and how my actions prolong, or even cause, them.
2 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24884 Anonymous
2nd May 2017
Tuesday 6:53 pm
24884 spacer
Seem to me like you are focusing on the symptom and not the cause. Why does her work stress her out that much? She might need counselling on how to put her work problems into perspective.
>> No. 24886 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 12:07 am
24886 spacer
>She might need counselling
>> No. 24888 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 2:02 am
24888 spacer
She doesn't strike me as one in need of counsel, but I've been wrong before.
I can't help but feel the only thing worth doing is dis-engaging.
I guess I just don't know her as well as I thought.

I wish I could care, but in all honesty I don't think thats true. There is a niggling pain that I'm potentially disregarding one close to me, but .. what can I actually do? No one seems all that interested in ways of thought I use to 'be happy' (probably because of the way I express them). All I can think is 'these things happen and you can be happy that they can happen'. I don't know, man. Nothing all that bad has happened to me so maybe this philosophy is worth shit. Something inside tells me, though, that even if 'something bad' were to happen the philosophy would reduce it.

So I guess the answer is, beyond counseling, to 'cheer her up' and help take her mind off things. Not to specifically target a problem, but to let it dissolve around other activities.

This should have gone in the Minor angst and existential dread thread.
And looks like it was a vehicle to talk about myself
>> No. 24889 Anonymous
3rd May 2017
Wednesday 10:19 am
24889 spacer

I think you misunderstood what I meant by counselling. I don't think she needs a shoulder to cry on. I think she needs to learn coping strategies for stress. Essentially how to deal with problems and adversity without getting stressed about them, and when she does get stressed how to defuse the stress.
>> No. 24891 Anonymous
4th May 2017
Thursday 9:33 pm
24891 spacer
>Its clear she values her work more than her hair, yet she continues to complain and, I guess, feel bad about it.

It's a luxury these days to be able to quit a job in your field simply because it would be too stressful for you. Most people are lucky to be in adequate employment at all.

However, I once quit a job because the grueling workload, unforgiving deadlines and a hardass (female) boss gave me heart palpitations and sleep terrors. That, and an off the charts addiction to caffeine. About two and a half months in, I asked to have a word with my boss, and told her I just wasn't up to the job. She offered to put me in a different position, because she said she had grown to like me as an employee, but I would have made considerably less money than by simply switching jobs in my field and finding work elsewhere. So I quit, but she asked me twice if there would be "no hard feelings". Turned out she had a shred of humanity in her after all.

Anyway, what I am saying is, it's hard to strike a balance between your need for gainful employment and the toll it can take on you. People don't necessarily make a conscious decision to put their work before their own self. They are often left with no choice, however much it will wear on them.

>> No. 24860 Anonymous
30th April 2017
Sunday 5:21 pm
24860 Uncle dilemma
I am fully aware that what I am about to ask advice on is going to be labelled as a non-problem by many, but please remember than this is /emo/ rather than /iq/.

It all started at a family Christmas gathering. Last Chirstmas. My sisters daughter, also known as my niece, was asking me a lot of questions about her upcoming semester abroad as she was hoping to do it in a city where I spend a lot of time. I also have relevant contacts that would help her project. Anyway, I digress, we had obviously been drinking and there was a moment where her hand ended up on my thigh, quite near my glands. An awkward, intense and hot silence followed but was quickly interrupted by her father coming in looking for something.

Four months on I had almost forgotten about it until last night when I received a wechat message from her saying that she has been approved for the semester abroad plans approved. The first message was just a belated happy birthday, some stuff about her course and asking if she could stay with me as we had discussed. I replied saying that was fine. She then messaged asking if I remembered Christmas, I replied yes. She then sends me three nude pics saying she wants to have fun when she is visits.

She is 20 and a 9/10 blonde. I'm mid 40's, divorced, in great shape for my age.

She is the sort of woman I wank to with porn, but Im not sure what to do next. What is the legal situation here?
12 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24876 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 9:25 am
24876 spacer

Actually I am not so sure on this, can we get a clarification? (Not the front-page of the Sun bit).

I thought under UK law it had to be immediate family, hence the occasional case of adopted cousins getting married only to find years later that they were cousins, cropping up on Home Truths and the like.

Anyway, I nobbed my 1st cousin once removed, who sounds pretty similar. Go for it mate. If you are going to shit on your country at least keep it within the family.

>My knob is actually 8 inches and as thick as Anthony Joshua's wrists though.

Fucking hell, aren't you a Tiny Tim?
>> No. 24877 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 9:50 am
24877 spacer
I think as others have said, you're going to have to reluctantly refuse, especially as if you can hook this one you're capable of hooking others who aren't blood relations in order to get your end away.
>> No. 24878 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 9:54 am
24878 spacer
For England and Wales its under the Sexual Offenses Act 2003:
>The ways that A may be related to B are as parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, brother, sister, half-brother, half-sister, uncle, aunt, nephew or niece.

You can legally fuck your cousins and even marry them in Britain. Don't let any foreigners know about this or we will never hear the end of it.
>> No. 24879 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 10:12 am
24879 spacer

I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins!
>> No. 24880 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 6:25 pm
24880 spacer
You know who else shagged their niece, OP? Adolf Hitler, so think about that.


>Fucking hell, aren't you a Tiny Tim?

I mean on the soft, obviously, lad!

>> No. 24806 Anonymous
24th April 2017
Monday 1:37 pm
24806 spacer
To start, I am male.

So, I met someone on Tinder last night and lost my Virginity. I thought I would feel good about it, because I've been too nervous to do anything ... But I feel kind of used. And kind of shitty about it.

So I'm talking to a guy who is older than me, he's 32 years old. We had been talking for a week and I really liked him, he is a total top and I'm a total bot, and he seemed like a nice , non-sleazy guy to go to.. He invited me around for a drink and so I went. I was quite nervous beforehand so I had a drink myself ... Which might have been a mistake. Anyway I got there and he was exactly as I hoped , he was charming and cute and things were going well, until a few drinks later , maybe an hour, he started to get so forceful. I kissed him, and that was nice, but he kept forcing my hand onto his cock. Like not gently but quite violently. I didn't really mind, it was quite hot ... And things escalated and reached a point where I was blowing him on his sofa. Anyway he eventually gets very forceful, literally PICKS ME UP, which I fucking hated, and puts me on his bed. I say I don't want to have sex but I'm happy to keep going, and he calls me a tease , starts shouting at me, saying I've wasted his time. I felt quite bad then so I said I'd carry on and see what happens ... So I did, and eventually we start having sex, reluctantly. During sex he is slapping me and not being gentle. I actually cried a little. It hurt like hell, it stung, and I didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like I was guilt tripped into having sex. I feel like I can't trust people any more, if even the nice ones turn out bad. The worst thing is he didn't even use a condom, and came inside me. When he was done I was told to leave. That was the worst experience of my life . And just writing it out makes me feel worse.
32 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24848 Anonymous
28th April 2017
Friday 5:37 pm
24848 spacer
Did you say no? Did he continue? If yes to both of those, then its rape.
>> No. 24849 Anonymous
28th April 2017
Friday 5:41 pm
24849 spacer
OP doesn't have to say no for it to be rape. If OP felt pressured or intimidated into having sex - which he quite clearly was - then that is also rape.
>> No. 24853 Anonymous
29th April 2017
Saturday 5:49 am
24853 spacer
If it's any consolation, I am bi and had some dubious experiences when experimenting. Things do get complicated when it comes to submissive desires and the real world, there are some strange folk out there.

Check out your local gum clinic, get that sorted. You need to know the score with your body, make that your number one priority. All gums i've been to have drop ins, research where your local one is and visit. Let us know how you get on with it.
>> No. 24873 Anonymous
30th April 2017
Sunday 11:57 pm
24873 spacer
I'd just like to apologise for a very glib and stupid post I made earlier ITT. It's been removed since then and I won't bother repeating it, but I'd like to say I'm sorry, as I hadn't read any of the thread and have a compulsion to crack wise that frequently leads me to acting like a cock.
>> No. 24874 Anonymous
1st May 2017
Monday 12:05 am
24874 spacer

>> No. 24845 Anonymous
27th April 2017
Thursday 5:32 pm
24845 spacer
My life has gone downhill ever since I met a Brazilian Ju Jitsu fighter at Westfield and saw him selling copies of big tissue. It's strange but the way I remember it was that I was set for everything but at December in 2011, things became worse. Nothing mattered and I couldn't eat much as well as wondering whether the nootropics I was taking would actually end up in me being hospitalised. It becomes extraordinarily strange when I realise a lot of it was recorded on this here website, on the IRC itself. I want to understand exactly what was happening in 2012. There's some more things that happened which include kidnapping, torture and brainwashing (as well as strong secret service intimidation) but I wanted to find out exactly why my life became strange.

I remember absolutely everything as well as absolutley nothing. If you get my gist.
Expand all images.
>> No. 24846 Anonymous
27th April 2017
Thursday 5:50 pm
24846 spacer
Is this the hook for your novel OP. Because it makes no sense to me otherwise.
>> No. 24847 Anonymous
27th April 2017
Thursday 8:02 pm
24847 spacer
I, too, sometimes wonder where it all went wrong.

I, too, keep coming to the observation that it all seemed alight up til around the time I made the decision to become more committed, shall we say, to the use of recreational substances.

I, too, wonder if there is any significance to this seemingly coincidental convergence of circumstances.

>> No. 24440 Anonymous
12th March 2017
Sunday 4:41 pm
24440 spacer
I can't ever stop thinking.

I can't cut loose, ever. It doesn't matter how much I drink -- though the overthinking prevents me from drinking too much most of the time.

I can never enjoy a night out (even if I enjoy the music, which is rare) because I'm just constantly going over stuff in my head, usually thinking how much of a cunt I must look.

I just want to be able to just forget about how I'm getting home, or over conversations I've had months ago, or if I'm acting right for the situation, or if I've just said or done the wrong thing, or what I'm going to do tomorrow and extensively planning it, but I can't, ever. People always say to me "you always overthink everything, just be yourself and cut loose"; I can't though.

I don't dance because of a crushing anxiety that I'll look like a cunt.

I've reached out for help with anxiety and heard nothing from the NHS for months and had appointments with my job counsellor (who isn't very useful anyway) cancelled repeatedly.

What the fuck can I do? A lobotomy is looking good right now.
19 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24782 Anonymous
13th April 2017
Thursday 3:37 pm
24782 spacer
I tend to be a lot like OP. I can feel very timid and inhibited when I am out with friends, to the point that I carefully ponder even the smallest joke or slightest witty remark in my head long before I find the courage to say it out loud. And then I very carefully observe what other people thought of my remark. And then I worry if they really mean it when they say "Oh, that's really funny". And so on. I also often don't find the courage to just have casual conversation with people, let alone strangers, and talking to girls on a night out has also historically always been a nightmare for me.

It's really easier said than done, but OP needs to learn to dial down his constant worrying and thinking about this, that, and the other. Perhaps a way to start is to take a more everyday situation with little or no consequences either way, and then when the worries come on, just think "ok, I am not going to think about all that now. I am going to block out those thoughts at this moment". And once you've managed to do that in insignificant everyday situations that can't harm you, maybe that will give you the confidence to try that approach when you are among people, or even when you want to go on a dance floor.

Cognitive behavioural therapy tends to be hugely overrated these days, but it is right about one thing, and that is that virtually every behaviour of a person starts in their head as a thought or a thought process, however involuntary. And if you manage to disrupt thought processes that lead to behaviours which frustrate you about yourself, then that is the first key to changing them.

If you watched "The Brain with David Eagleman" on BBC Four a while ago, one thing that struck me was the way that brains learn, including learned behaviours. What happens is that "software" (i.e. your thoughts) gradually becomes "hardware", meaning it turns into robust and fixed connections between brain cells. The more you think certain things, the more hardwired they become in your brain. Which goes some way explaining why persistent behaviours are often so hard to change. But it also gives you the key as to how you might start tackling your anxiety problems.
>> No. 24786 Anonymous
14th April 2017
Friday 5:43 pm
24786 spacer

>> No. 24787 Anonymous
16th April 2017
Sunday 8:30 pm
24787 spacer
>> No. 24788 Anonymous
17th April 2017
Monday 12:15 am
24788 spacer
Tried it boss. Doesn't do an awful lot for me (the mild paranoia doesn't help) but thanks for the suggestion.
>> No. 24789 Anonymous
17th April 2017
Monday 12:19 am
24789 spacer
It didn't help me greatly too, but I feel it did slow down my thoughts. But they were still there. I have similar issues too, so I'm following some of the advice on this thread. I don't have an off switch.

>> No. 24665 Anonymous
28th March 2017
Tuesday 7:03 pm
24665 spacer
Lately I've been waking up in the middle of night and feeling a strange sense of unease, the willies. I am scared of something but am unable to define what it is.

My initial assumption was nightmares but last night I could recall a normal dream when I awoke. This is annoying because I'm a grown man but find that some nights I have to switch on my bedside lamp to get back to sleep.

Google seems to come out with all sorts of things that don't seem to apply. There are no adult worries that comes to mind when I'm like this (much as I have them) and it isn't like a panic attack.

Any ideas lads? It isn't a one-time occurrence but seems to be getting more common.
27 posts and 2 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24776 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 10:07 pm
24776 spacer
I should mention that making a small campfire gives you a primal sense of security that no animal will disturb. It's technically illegal in England and Wales so whilst I am emphatically and absolutely not encouraging you to make one, in my opinion anyone who could burn down and English, let alone Welsh forest at midnight deserves a Nobel prize. Though it's legal in Scotland, so I personally recommend clearing a circle in the undergrowth with your boots at least six feet across, digging a small pit then a trench leading away from it a foot or so. Cover all but the last few inches of said trench with a few twigs to make a roof and cover with soil, now you have a decent airflow for your fire from underneath. Use your knife, which you have since you're outdoors in the woods at night and not a mug, to cut a few nearby branches about 2 inches thick or so, stick them over the pit before piling on twigs, some tinder and in half an hour or so you'll have a nice cosy fire. Recommend doing this in woodland where nobody nearby with a mansion will see you. There are few things more heartwarming than roasting sausages on the end of a knife by a fire of your own making while looking at the stars on a cold, dry night while owls hoot around you. Everyone should do it at least once.

Shame becoming a Scout leader these days is like changing your name to Jimmy Saville and expecting not to get funny looks.
>> No. 24778 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 10:24 pm
24778 spacer
Yes mate, lighting a fire then making yourself a silhouette against it with nothing but the things in the dark you can't see coming behind you is sure to reassure people. Why not adjust your eyes to only seeing things that're really close and in one specific direction?

I'm used to walking a lot in the pitch black, it doesn't really bother me. After a while you get used to feeling where the road is going by the slope of it, but one night the same car went back and forth a few times then pulled in ahead of me where I had to walk into the woods, at around 2am. I had to creep through half a mile of woodland with no lights. The supernatural's easy, you can just make up whatever to protect yourself and feel better. Humans, though. They're unpredictable.
>> No. 24779 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 11:19 pm
24779 spacer

About ten years ago, I had a bit of a mental health/insomnia vicious cycle. I was too anxious to sleep and the sleep deprivation made my anxiety worse. For whatever reason, I got really into night running. I had this massive head torch that was like the headlight on a motorbike. I'd get the last train out to Stalybridge, run laps of the peaks and get the first train back in the morning.

It was a spectacularly stupid thing to do, especially during the winter. I had no spare clothing, no survival gear, no phone - just a head torch, some spare batteries and a couple of drinks bottles. Sometimes I'd stand at the top of a hill, turn off my torch and look out into the inky darkness. It was so quiet, so still, so lonely up there. I looked down at the stars below, the dirty orange constellations of street lights. I thought about all the people down there, sleeping soundly in their warm beds.

I'd hear things rustling in the gorse or see a flicker in the shadows, but there was nothing to do but keep running. With every footstep I imagined breaking my ankle, I imagined tumbling down the slope, I imagined freezing to death on that lonely hillside. Oddly, I almost felt safe up there. I was terrified, but at least I was afraid of something real. The adrenaline of fear just melted into the runner's high; fight-or-flight means nothing when you're already flying.
>> No. 24780 Anonymous
12th April 2017
Wednesday 11:28 am
24780 spacer

It's really worth reading the Bible for some of the imagery. Those hovering eyeball monsters and dragons and wasp soldiers in Revelations are amazing.
>> No. 24781 Anonymous
12th April 2017
Wednesday 7:59 pm
24781 spacer
True, but with a fire you have warmth, cosiness and a means to make a cuppa. Do I really need to elaborate on why having a campfire on a freezing cold night in the woods is nice? And if noises in the background are enough to give you the heeby-jeebies then man up. At worst it's a badger snuffling around.

Mt Sanford.jpg
>> No. 24751 Anonymous
4th April 2017
Tuesday 9:16 pm
24751 spacer
I'm not sure if this is /job/ material or /emo/ but since It's a problem I'll put it here.

I've just started a new job, my first day wasn't bad. I could say I enjoyed it since it was different, learnt a few things. It's different from my old job and have no experience in this current environment. Today (my second day) I felt like they put the workload down on me, It wouldn't be so bad if I knew how to do the tasks they've gave me to do tomorrow and onwards. I don't mind a trial by fire if I knew what I was doing. The office manager who is training me will be on maternity leave soon and the boss thinks the best way for me to learn is intense training sessions with him whenever he's in the office (Seems like he is hardly there but will e-mail, phone etc frequently)

As I've said, I have no experience in this area so I'm just starting from scratch. I feel as though they expect me to complete whatever they give me despite knowing full well that I am inexperienced and untrained. In the interview I was labelled a "risk" because of this but the boss thought I had potential. I know it's too early to really decide but I honestly feel as if this job isn't for me.

I left my old job since it was a shithole, I had been there for 2 years and just wanted out so took the first thing that looked promising (Office job) but I feel I left one hellhole for another, that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
The roles they have said they will eventually give me (probably in 1 week with this rushed nature) seem way to much for someone like me, both in experience needed and work amount. I haven't managed anything in my life and hadn't wanted to either. Just wanted a job which didn't erode my soul too much during the day and paid well enough to enjoy my free time.

Part of the purpose for this post is just to vent, I feel like I'm being overwhelmed and may even have a break down sooner or later (I wanted to cry on the bus home) and just say I can't do this. I feel like giving it to Friday and see if it's any better, If not explain I don't feel like it's for me and wish to quit. Honestly the thought of being unemployed makes me happy, I'd atleast have some free time (haven't had more than 2 days off since August last year)

This isn't a I don't want to work post, I understand the necessity of work. I just strongly believe this job isn't for me but it's far too early for me to justify it.

I always put on a brave face with things but there have been plenty of times I've cried myself to sleep. I fear this is no different. Mostly had to get that of my chest.
2 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24755 Anonymous
4th April 2017
Tuesday 11:06 pm
24755 spacer
I'll keep at it for the time being, as I said, I knew it was too early to come to a proper conclusion other than it's a sudden change. I just get the impression it's still not for me though.


I knew the job would include some of the work I'm getting thrown at me, I was just expecting it a lot further down the line when I've mastered the basics.
It's a small office, around 7 people depending on if some people are in. It's a property company and whilst I won't be directly selling/leasing them off. I will be taking enquiries, sending invoices etc... The sudden work is basically being a personal assistant to the boss ontop of keeping tabs on so many properties and dealing with them. I've been told to make this, change that etc on things I haven't even been shown.
It might be because it's such a small office that I'll end up being focused on rather than some drone in a cubicle of many that I feel it's not for me.
I know it's strange to actually want to be a faceless employee but all I want to do is blend into the background and leave the work in the office when it's home time. Do my shit then go home, not be relied on.
>> No. 24757 Anonymous
5th April 2017
Wednesday 1:15 pm
24757 spacer

To be fair property is one of the last fields I'd have thought about if you just want a mindless, hassle free 9-5. It's one of those areas that just attracts wannabe yuppie cunts, people who think they get up and go to work in order to make it as opposed to simply pay the bills.

You want an easy going job in administration of some sort, preferably for a local council or the NHS. The pay won't be stellar but if your dream is blending into the furniture and coasting along to retirement, I can't think of anything more suitable.
>> No. 24758 Anonymous
6th April 2017
Thursday 7:11 am
24758 spacer
Gave it a lot of thought, talked it over with my friends and parents and they all agree I should get out of there. Gonna talk with the office manager today and hopefully leave the building 30 minutes after it.

When I applied for the job it was just a basic description of general office work, the usual bullshit and then I would eventually lead on to being an assistant to the big boss once I was fully trained. In the interview this I was told that would be way down the line. Day 2 I was being told by the big boss himself to update the websites (no one showed me how) Redo brochures and make new ones, make layout plans for the sites, answer all calls coming in, look after my own set of tenants and deal with any disputes, email them professionally.

Day 3 I'm expected to tidy up and update the filing system, keep the board next to my desk clear, when I came in it was full of letters and urgent pen marks, I didn't know what the fuck any of it meant but was told it's my responsibility to get things of it, so much for training eh...

They know I have no experience in an office environment and all this is just way over my head, It feels like I'm being drowned. If I had the training I'd be able to do the work, maybe not the work load straight away but atleast I'd know what to do.

The way things are going it's just not going to work. I'm not gonna waste my own time and might as well not waste theirs. I took a gamble and lost. I'm probably gonna go travelling or atleast go on holiday somewhere before I start looking for another job, for my own sanity I need to take a break.

I'll look into that when I get back to looking.

Cheers lads
>> No. 24763 Anonymous
8th April 2017
Saturday 10:22 pm
24763 spacer
This may be too late but I don't think you can claim ESA/JSA for a while if you voluntarily left your job.

Good luck Anon.
>> No. 24764 Anonymous
9th April 2017
Sunday 10:49 am
24764 spacer

Yea I understand that but I'll be going on it (as much as I don't want to) in a week or so anyway. I have enough savings to tide me over for quite a while and my parents don't mind slashing my rent and paying for a few things while I help with some renovation work around the house.

I don't intend to say unemployed for long, I'll pick up at 10 hour or so supermarket job to get some sort of income in and something to put on my CV whilst looking for something full time.

Been in work for the past 5 years (2 years unemployed before that) and always wanted to get made redundant so I had free time to catch up on things and even stare at the ceiling for a day or 2 doing fuck all.
The moment I'm out of work the first thing I want to do is go into another job. I'm guessing its the realisation that I won't be getting paid every month that makes me feel this way, I never spent it all and always sat on it and because of this I hated spending money so the sooner I can get more money in than money out the better for me (well it goes without saying but will help me out mentally too)

>> No. 24743 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 4:06 pm
24743 Job related woes. Not getting sacked, but now I'd much rather I was
Hallo, got diagnosed with anxiety induced depression a couple of months back, had been suspicious for months before that though. Currently on Venlafaxine, 75mg/day. Had a couple of breakdowns at the bar I work at in January, so management got concerned and we started a dialogue. Sorry, this is quite a long post. It's been a busy week.

A couple of weeks after a progressive chat with the GM about how he could help, one of the managers asked me to replace some old cans with new bottles, and keep the redundant stuff for staff drinks on the weekend, so come the weekend, I took a couple of cans from the cellar when I was stocking, and left them in my hoodie, on top of my bag in the staff room to take up after shift. I didn't confirm with management that this was ok, I took it as assumed since I'd been told. Bad idea, I didn't make it out of the staff room, got called into the office bag searched et al, turns out someone had gone into the staff room and noticed the cans when they were moving my clothes, assumed as theft.

In terms of the disciplinary/investigation, IMO it's all cut and dry, I know the camera could see me taking the cans, and then the cans were in the staff room in my hoodie. It's just a matter of intention, if they think I was trying to take them off the premise then I should be sacked. I didn’t panic after it was clear my stuff had been moved, everything hung up bar my hoodie that was positioned in the corner of the camera-bound staffroom (where it had previously been placed on top of my zippable, padded bag…with all my other stuff. Basically, I thought what I was doing was ok, but if it wasn’t then it should just be a matter of policy and they should just fire me so I know where I am. I just want to get that done and out of the way and the GM insists that we have this meeting, despite everyone having clearly made their decisions (as he admitted today), and you can't intellectualise your way back into someone's trust, so that's fucked.

That incident happened a few hours before I was gonna cross the country via bus for mothers day, and I was feeling too grim to do it so I called my mum on Sunday morning to apologise. She's the kind of mum you'd buy at John Lewis, mental health advocate as well. I was having trouble explaining why I couldn't come down but she started having a go at me so I told her about the diagnosis (I hadn't wanted her to fuss over me) and was met with "I know you have depression but you should just be a man and see me". I knew that she was just angry, so I said I had to go and we smoothed it out a couple of days later, but that really hit me.

Anyway, the Monday following mother's day, I was walking the dog to my girlfriend's house, to meet her and explain the work situation and the mum situation, and I started having a panic attack, so we started arguing because I'd promised I'd come, and now I was just sat on a bench with a dog I now felt incapable of looking after. I texted her the basic outline and how it was affecting me, and she said that before she'd received that she'd been composing a text saying that we should take a break. She's been great during this but it's taking a toll on our relationship, but things are generally ok.

After that I missed the disciplinary meeting. I pulled myself together a few hours afterwards, came in to apologise, was told we couldn't do it without a second manager, so we rescheduled for the next morning. That morning, had an argument with my gf and ended up going foetal and kind of didn’t get out of bed until midnight.

At this point I figured I would be getting sacked, so I just needed to get it over with, went in the next day and apologised, said personal reasons, "Not good enough", explained the facts of what had happened with mum/girlfriend, but avoided talking about how it'd made me feel, hoping I wouldn't have to. I was given a last chance to come in, and we'd rearrange for Monday (today).

I went in today. The witness manager isn't in. He's been called away, so again we can't have the meeting (albeit the 'fault' score is still 2:1 to me). Since I was there, the GM explained that he no longer trusted me as a result of initial circumstances and missed meetings, and whilst the disciplinary would still be carried out and I'd be able to stay working there, it'd be on one shift a week for a while. I said I'd been trying to find day jobs so it might be for the best, as I've had my fill of bar work...but I just felt like collapsing. I was hyperventilating on the walk there, after all their 'final chance, last meeting, be here then', bam, "Sorry mate this guy had to go, tell you what, keep yourself free all day so we can phone, or we might call you tomorrow." Fuck.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
Expand all images.
>> No. 24745 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 4:23 pm
24745 And yet more.
I don't like making a big deal out of things, I have convictions, I'm happy to stand up to people if they're trying to injure/insult someone, because it's really easy to tell when you're basically 'in the right' and when someone is being an unambiguous ass, but when it comes to work relationships I have a bit of a complex about bothering people, especially in a high-overturn industry, and a company where getting caught organising a literal theft ring involving managers and staff will get you transferred if the owner likes you, but you get sacked over being late once if the wrong person wants you gone. If I think I can make it through something without having to reveal any details of my personal thoughts or feelings, I'll aim for that, like I don’t know if I’m expect to look the manager in the eye and say "I didn't come in because I was on the verge of topping myself". I have trouble talking about it (stuttering, repetition, trailing off), so I certainly can’t expect him to understand it from me. When I first told management that I’d been diagnosed, they seemed compassionate and open, and the GM put my next week as a holiday, and cut my shifts ostensibly to give me some space and let me relax. I didn't get paid for this holiday. I didn't get paid for it for over a month. So essentially the response was "You had a panic attack? Ok, you're suspended for a week and your shifts are cut." After a week I explained to him that this was the opposite of what I needed, he said he'd give me more hours, so I went from 5-6 shifts, to 2 shifts, to 3 shifts over that month. I mean it's something. But yet again, today in the 'informal meeting', the GM said that sometimes he forgets, sometimes he has no intention of altering hours, but "...you know how it is". I do know how it is, that's why I've been fucking terrified of asking for more shifts and generally talking to management more than once, because I know they heard me the first time and would just rather string me along as much as they can, and if they didn't they're just flaunting ineptitude by saying "Ah yeah, you have to keep pestering us".

I broke my little toe on Christmas day, worked 8 hours on it, had my gf's sister text me from her phone calling me a 'fucking prick' because I said I needed an hour to myself before I called her, phoned in sick the next day because I couldn't carry on limping, had everyone assume I was lying and skiving (got voted 'Pinnochio' at staff awards. Haha), just fuck this fucking place man. I try but if I act normal everyone thinks I'm faking things, and if I give in to it I become a bawling wreck who struggles to leave the house. I mean, I should be able to get enough work to keep me alive, I'm good at what I do and I know my city well, but I've worked for this company on and off for 4 years, have never had a disciplinary, didn't call in sick or take a holiday for my first year, like it's obviously a horrible company and the majority in the industry hate it, and hopefully this will result in a steady day job, but like I have tried right? I think I’ve tried but I never know, I never know if I could give more, and if I could give everything then I wouldn’t be depressed, but if I am depressed then I need to acknowledge my limits, but one can’t be bound by limits…is it ok to think like this? Should I be ashamed of not having the confidence to pressure people to get things done? Everyone seems to think that that’s how things should be done.

I’m not even sure if I’m asking for advice at this point. I obviously can’t stay there after this, I just didn’t know what to do after I left the venue today. It just feels like I’m always going to get fucked around there. I can't face having to go through this morning again.
>> No. 24746 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 5:26 pm
24746 spacer
You could've done with condensing all that. There are a few comments I can make on key points but I'm not sure if I followed your train of thought:

>the GM explained that he no longer trusted me as a result of initial circumstances and missed meetings

Well then you can no longer work there. Simple. You're fired but they don't want to do it direct because it would be a hassle.

This is for the best considering how employees are treated. You may have even needed this kick up the arse and will be much happier at a new place even if its yet more bar work. I mean 4 fucking years doing the same low-end bar job.

As for the women in your life:
>she said that before she'd received that she'd been composing a text saying that we should take a break.

I'm sorry to have to break this to you but its over. Let her go because she feels guilty about doing it with the position you are in right now.

As for your mother she was a dick but then she is only human. She loves you unconditionally but she will be unbearable cunt on occasion. Its what mothers do.
>> No. 24747 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 7:54 pm
24747 spacer
>>24745 Sounds like you're in a job where no one gives a fuck about you. Doing the kind of work that you can find anywhere, all over the world in fact. As the song goes 'why do I give valuable to people who don't care if I live or die'? As for your gf, well people get dumped all the time, they survive, you will too.
>> No. 24748 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 7:58 pm
24748 spacer
>>24743camera bound staff room? Do you mean the place you go for breaks has cameras in it? Watching your every move when U shed be relaxing? Fuck me, get out of there.

>> No. 24689 Anonymous
30th March 2017
Thursday 9:17 am
24689 spacer
A couple of years ago I came out as gay. I'm in my mid-twenties and it was a massive relief to finally realize and admit something that I've known deep down for a long time, and to be accepted for it.

But I can't stand 99% of the gay people I meet. I can't stand the lesbians who can't go a day without mentioning they're gay, or the people that get super offended over a perceived slight to their gayness, or the super-fags that prance around like fairies and scream bloody murder and homophobia to anyone who looks at them funny. It feels like everyone around me is faking it, or encouraging some sort of identity that doesn't need encouragement. I fucking hate Pride.

I don't understand what there is to be PROUD of. I am a sexual deviant. I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm lucky to live in a time where I'm free to love someone of the opposite sex openly without being thrown in jail or executed. But the fact is I have a sexual deviancy, and although I'm accepting of it, I'm not PROUD of it. I want people to accept this problem of mine with compassion and understanding, but I don't want to traipse along with a bunch of oversexualised attention seekers throwing glitter over themselves and defining their identity by where they like to stick things in bed.

I hate it. I really hate it. It all makes me want to regress back to being straight and unhappy, just so I can be free of this embarrassment and LGTBQ++++ bullshit.

We've come a long, long way from homosexuality being 'the love that dare not speak its name', and more and more I think we should go back
23 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 24730 Anonymous
30th March 2017
Thursday 11:35 pm
24730 spacer
Don't feed the troll lads. It was obvious as soon as he started referring to himself as a 'sexual deviant' as though he's dropped right out of a 1950s public health warning.
>> No. 24731 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 2:50 am
24731 spacer
Talking of which, I finally looked up on the internet what that Pleasuredrome place near Waterloo I walk by every morning on the way to work is. Interesting.
>> No. 24738 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 1:45 pm
24738 spacer
I don't think he's a troll. I used to live with a guy who had a strikingly similar outlook to OP, very much a self-loathing gay. It was quite sad.
>> No. 24741 Anonymous
1st April 2017
Saturday 9:45 pm
24741 spacer
If anything he sounds like the halfway house you get when you cross the deep seated, internalised self-hating gay of the homophobic 1950s with today's largely liberal acceptance of the LGBT community. He's still in the closet - but not wanting to kill himself because of it - however he does intensely resent anyone who's managed to do what he can't and be glad they've left the closet. Interesting one.
>> No. 24742 Anonymous
2nd April 2017
Sunday 9:34 am
24742 spacer
Why should that be self-loathing? If there was a heterosexual pride day where all the big burly men went around showing off their muscles and attention seeking over how masculine and hetero they were, I think I'd hate them. I don't need to just imagine either, they exist, they're what Americans call "bros". Everyone hates them.
The whole "limp-wristed fairy" persona is important in the history of homosexuals struggling for acceptance but it is absolutely an affectation and there's no reason why someone can't legitimately find it off-putting without it being a symptom of repressed self-hatred for internet amateur psychologists to diagnose.

Delete Post []
Previous[0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]