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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

>> No. 26342 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 10:33 am
26342 I know the answer already, but...
Flatmate not-on-contract, promised to pay a last month's rent or get someone for the room, didn't, left, blocked me on FB.

I've got no recourse right? There's messages on facebook confirming various aspects of the deal, but no contract.

He's in a band, do I just stalk all their tour dates and past photos of our facebook conversations like an asshole creep?
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>> No. 26345 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 11:59 am
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Honestly? Move on and presume he will do nothing.

Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. Karma always gets them.
>> No. 26347 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 12:07 pm
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This. Get the sheriffs on him/her/pop-up toaster.
>> No. 26353 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 9:19 pm
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200, it was meant to be 200 plus bills but we never agreed bill amount so I can't do much about that.


I'd like to but I'm livid and I'm happy to dedicate a bit of time towards getting it. Not gonna kill myself for it but I can't just not pursue it.


I'm happy to hear this, do you have any source behind it though?
>> No. 26355 Anonymous
21st March 2018
Wednesday 1:17 am
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>I'm happy to hear this, do you have any source behind it though?

My source is having a degree in law. You are more than welcome to read the wiki article on UK contract law which will tell the same thing.
>> No. 26356 Anonymous
21st March 2018
Wednesday 5:19 am
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These things are upsetting, and I am sure it is a lot of money to you, but honestly? For 200 quid? Let it go.

A contract is offer and acceptance and that can take place in many forms, verbally, by email, by fucking Facebook message if you really want and legal-lad is right in >>26344 but there is also a point where the amount of time and effort it would take to recover the debt far outweighs the benefit. Most lawyers won't tell you this because they're on the clock and are super cautious and precise. But let it fucking go.

>> No. 25991 Anonymous
2nd January 2018
Tuesday 12:12 am
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To cut a long story short, there's this girl I've been seeing for 8 months or so now. Far from my first rodeo, but my longest one to date. It's been really great so far for the most part - I always enjoy seeing her, and she always seems happy to see me.

The problem is that, whereas being with other girls always increased my confidence and general happiness, somehow being with her has just led to me becoming more insecure and filled with worries. She's by far the most attractive girl I've ever dated and I just never feel good enough for her.

Rather than getting better it seems to have gotten worse recently. I use any small thing to convince myself she's going to leave me, like most women do once they get to know me. I'm genuinely amazed she ever dated me in the first place. I want to get her out of my head so it will hurt me less, but I can't find anything to replace her.

Reading this back makes me sound a bit mad, but it's an honest account of the loops my mind goes in when not fulfilled by some distraction. Have many of you here felt similar before - is it just one of those things that sorts itself out? I'm not sure how much I should talk to her about it, in my head she'll just think I'm somewhere between overly clingy and mad if I tell the truth.
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>> No. 26351 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 4:23 pm
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>he'd made it into a big fancy gesture and all that, middle of a restaurant

Absolutely even more likely to say no, if I was the bird. I think the big public proposal is an awful thing to do to someone, for just the reasons you suggest - you are putting an enormous amount of pressure on someone, in public, to agree to do something really important; I think girls hate it too. I think I would question why that person wanted to do it in public like that.

You're right, it wouldn't be easy.
>> No. 26352 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 4:43 pm
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I agree. I always assume people who do this sort of thing are either 100% sure she'll say yes (let's be honest, we all talk about this shit way ahead of time with our partners? right? I know exactly how my missus thinks about marriage) or are very insecure.

I won't ever get married but I definitely think there's a lack of sentimentality to a public proposal. Maybe that's just an introvert's way of seeing it, though.
>> No. 26354 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 9:33 pm
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If youtube is to be believed, public marriage proposals tend to have a piss poor outcome.


My theory is that they fail because the reasoning behind them is flawed. What is your point in making such a public affair out of it? For some blokes, I am guessing it might be the idea that the lass isn't going to say no in front of a crowd of dozens or even hundreds of random spectators. In which case the question must be, why do you need her in a spot where she isn't going to say no because of public pressure? Would her answer be more iffy under different circumstances? And if yes, then that is kind of a strong indication that she will never say yes to begin with. Not in private with you, not in front of a hundred people.

I have to hand it to my dad, he was subtle and understated. One day, he was sitting in the livingroom of my parents' flat, hidden behind a newspaper, and on page one of his newspaper there was something about some random aristocratic couple that was getting married that week. So my dad just flipped down the upper corner of his newspaper with his finger and looked at my mum and said, "Hm. What do you think, should we get married as well?". My mum had been dying for him to propose, and then just out of nowhere one day came that deadpan and understated move from my dad. Now, THAT is how you propose with a good sense of humour.
>> No. 26357 Anonymous
21st March 2018
Wednesday 5:28 am
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>I won't ever get married

Getting married is one of the best things I ever did. It's a good thing.
>> No. 26358 Anonymous
21st March 2018
Wednesday 6:12 am
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I'd probably enjoy doing it, but functionally it's not necessary. Neither me or the missus likes a fuss, and we're pretty certain we're going to grow old together anyway. It seems like a very unnecessary step at this stage. And personally I've always felt it a bit odd to have to declare/promise your commitment? I was planning on that anyways.

Maybe that's a cynical way of looking at it. Did anything change between you and your bird after she became the wife? Or is it more about enjoying the festivities?

>> No. 26284 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 9:49 pm
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So, older but not old lads,

do you sometimes look at pictures of your younger self and think what a fucking waste of time you allowed the prime of your life to be?

I just looked at pictures of myself tonight from about 16 years ago when I was in the middle of uni, and I can't help wishing I'd really done something about my emotional issues that I had back then (most of them family related, but also due to me having schizoid personality tendencies and a family predisposition to clinical depression). I was a sad, lonely younglad who only very rarely had sex at all during uni. Actual relationships were few and far between. Women back then always told me that I was really very handsome looking, and looking at my pictures now, they were probably right. I was never the male supermodel type, but I was thin and athletic and with just that healthy dose of upper body muscle, and with an attractive looking, blokey bloke face if I may say so myself. Although even in the best pictures, I can't help noticing that underlying sadness in my eyes. That's in nearly every picture.

I keep thinking, if only I had been a happier person inside, emotionally. If only I had sought professional help much sooner in my life (I didn't until my very late 20s/early 30s). I was a complete mess, so many unresolved issues and daemons that were really eating away at my happiness as such. I ruined many opportunities of starting relationships with quite attractive young women early on because of all that. I was in a quite bad and dark place inside.

The point isn't that nowadays I have a receding, greying hairline and have put on over a stone and a half since uni. That's just life, nobody escapes the aging process. I feel myself in a bearable place about all that. But still, I feel like I squandered all the good things I had going for myself at that age. If things hadn't looked so grim inside my tortured soul, who knows what I could have experienced.

Sorry for starting yet another pointless rambling thread.
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>> No. 26320 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 12:18 pm
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The therapist that I was seeing for some time used to work as part of a government-mandated serious offenders prison release and rehabilitiation programme. Basically, if you've committed serious crimes like murder, rape, child molestation or any number of heinous violent crimes that got you something like ten years or more, you are required to stay in counselling after you get out to help you get back on your feet again in the real world. He told me he often had patients who had spent their early 20s to late 30s in prison and then got out in middle age, and when they got out, they had to face the fact that their most productive years were behind them, when regular people their age had built careers for themselves, bought houses, had children, the works. They start with nothing when they get out, a lot of times not even your closest family members will want anything to do with you if you've spent ten years and more in the clink for (child) rape.

It kind of puts things in perspective. Us early middle aged lads who didn't spend ten or fifteen years in prison may not be happy with the way our lives turned out, but the difference is, we were free to live whatever kind of life we ended up living. We didn't just watch time go by, locked inside a cell day in, day out. And yet, despite that great big void spanning all those many years of their personal history, they are encouraged to rebuild their lives bit by bit and move forward and not look back.

My therapist told me that the real problem that normal people our age face isn't necessarily really the thought that they have wasted their best years. But that they chose to go down one particular path and thus never seized the opportunities that all the other paths they could have gone down offered. But then again, realistically, you were never going to be able to have your cake and eat it anyway, i.e. you were always going to have to choose ONE of those paths for yourself and not all the others. Also, you don't know if those other paths really would have turned out better for you and made you a happier and more fulfilled person. You only tell yourself that. So a lot of times, the key to overcoming middle age depression and midlife crisis is confirmation therapy, in that people are taught how to be in a good place about the life they've led, for better or worse.

Also, listen to this song, recorded by Pink Floyd when they were all roughly in their early 40s themselves... I was only a teenlad when it came out and never quite understood why my dad loved this song so much... but the older I'm getting, the more I understand it on a much more profound level.


In fact, I think this is the song that I want played at my funeral someday. It's just got the right mixture of solemnity, reflection, and mourning of the past.
>> No. 26324 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 5:23 pm
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> He told me he often had patients who had spent their early 20s to late 30s in prison and then got out in middle age, and when they got out, they had to face the fact that their most productive years were behind them, when regular people their age had built careers for themselves, bought houses, had children, the works

I know this is going to sound utterly hormonally teen-lad dramatic but I told my therapist the same thing: I feel like I might feel worse than someone who lost his legs in a freak judo accident or went blind when a sasha grey gape tape blew his expermental 4k monitor into a cloud of billowing glass dust;

Nothing was taken from me, I suffered no real ill fortune, I just pissed the prime of my life up the wall wasting it all away one day of addiction at a time with a person who was I was never supposed to end up with culminating in the mousetrap of having a sprog with her and and being trapped her here until I either find enough pills to top myself or the kid leaves home and fucks off to uni at 18.

At which point I'll probably fuck myself off westminster bridge because I've ruined my body through drink and drugs to the point where I'll never pull again unless I move into full time whoring. Christ.
>> No. 26325 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 5:25 pm
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Just to be clear I mean that I feel worse because honestly there's no single fucker I can blame in the world, even my ratty parents, for the situation I'm in other than myself.
>> No. 26327 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 5:59 pm
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I like that sense of responsibility though - most mornings I am able to look myself in the eye in the bathroom mirror and say, It's Your Fault.

Now you can either be crushed by that idea or use it to empower you (much as I loathe the word). It's Your Fault - if you take responsibility for something, then you can take responsibility for fixing it. If you had someone else to blame, or some other external reasons for the angst you find yourself in, that is more difficult.

Small changes, every day, are easy. It's a bit like the theory of marginal gains that some sports teams use. You can't possibly hope to improve your lot with some 50% improvement, if you could you would already be doing it, but perhaps you can make a 1% improvement per week. You won't get there every week, but it all adds up. Small changes, every day. Start with that mirror.
>> No. 26328 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 6:04 pm
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Whether it's your own fault or not, here you are. It doesn't matter how you got here, just that you make the best of where you are in your life.

I don't think actually having somebody else to blame for your own misfortune would make life easier for you. Because a grudge against another person is just as bad in terms of finding your inner peace as it is to hate your own self for your bad decisions. Both are dark places to be.

Only when you learn to leave all that behind, regardless of who you have chosen to blame, will you find true happiness.


>> No. 26241 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 7:12 pm
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So I've got a weird one here, I'm self employed and work a full time day job, I'm also a fitness nut obsessed with weights and running, I do nothing I enjoy and sleep 3-5 hours a night. I look like a zombie and suffer from constant fatigue, How do I allow myself to have free time? There's ALWAYS something productive I could be doing. Can't justify having more sleep or playing a game that requires anymore than 10 minutes attention, when I could be working out or growing my business.
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>> No. 26316 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 6:29 am
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It is utterly fucked up - the "Platform" thing is a whole other level of obfuscation.

GDPR will help to a certain extent in that the fines are so large they will have to do something. But its still a clusterfuck of a business model and consumers just don't get that.
>> No. 26317 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 11:47 am
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>It's usually counter-productive to work at the expense of sleep.

Exactly this. OP, sounds like you may be running yourself for emotional reasons. Get that looked into, then think up more practical recovery schedules. The attached book, Stress For Success, addresses this directly.

"You can only train as hard and as often as that from which you can recover."
>> No. 26318 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 11:49 am
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Reading you lads talk about the state of anonymity in today's world warms my heart a little.

Regarding Facebook- I changed my name for a laugh on new years eve 2011. I never changed it back because I realised the joke name I'd chosen made me nearly impossible to find without being told.

Hilariously, Facebook now thinks that is my real name, and won't allow me to change it back.
>> No. 26323 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 5:13 pm
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I can't keep a non-real-name facebook account to save my life. I need some fake ID. I guess you got in just before the cutoff point.
>> No. 26326 Anonymous
18th March 2018
Sunday 5:40 pm
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They aren't legally allowed to require your real identity in Germany so use a proxy to sign up.

>> No. 26259 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 1:08 am
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Who do I talk to about loneliness and suicide
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>> No. 26260 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 1:22 am
26260 spacer
Depends what you want.

If you just want someone to listen, the Samaritans.

If you want action but may be waiting for months, your GP.

If you want action and have the cash, a private therapist.

You can always post your issues on this board in more detail to get the opinion of purps and me.
>> No. 26262 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 1:39 am
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Please ignore my deleted post if it still shows up, I misread "Who do I talk to" for "Who do you talk to" and bollocksed up your thread. Apologies, lad.
>> No. 26265 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 2:14 am
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Well, there are many people but you've started talking to us, so carry on lad.
>> No. 26269 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 3:07 am
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You can call the Samaritans at any time on 116 123. Calls are free from any network. You don't have to be suicidal to call. They'll listen to whatever you need to get off your chest. You can also contact them by email at jo@samaritans.org .
>> No. 26282 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 3:41 pm
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Dunno but I went to that exhibition too. That pin is a lot less impressive in person.

max power.jpg
>> No. 26250 Anonymous
16th March 2018
Friday 10:20 pm
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I've been thinking of changing my surname. I have a five syllable African surname that's an alphabet soup and completely unpronounceable by most Anglos. I can count the amount of people who've attempted to pronounce it and gotten a halfway decent approximation on one hand. It gets pretty tedious to have to constantly spell it out to people and to hear comments like "can I call you Mr. Firstname instead" or "I'm not even going to attempt to pronounce that!"

I used to think that changing your name was a pretty greasy thing to do, but the older I get, the more I think that if it makes life easier then I should just
go for it. But then I'm faced with the problem of coming up with a new surname to stick with for the rest of my life. Do I go for an English translation of my surname? Shorten it? Or just pick something at random that sounds good with my first name?
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>> No. 26273 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 6:56 am
26273 spacer
>I thought Christianity confused all the Nigerians into calling their kids Champion Profit-Margins and such-like?

I know of an African couple who called their daughter Chlamydia because they thought it was such a beautiful word. They changed her name before she started school.
>> No. 26274 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 7:37 am
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I met a guy who did surveys for a living and he had to ask an old lady if she'd heard of Chlamydia and she said "Yes, but I don't think she should have married Charles."
>> No. 26275 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 7:38 am
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>> No. 26276 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 8:00 am
26276 spacer

The Sci-Fi channel changed their name to Syfy and it means syphilis in Polish.
>> No. 26279 Anonymous
17th March 2018
Saturday 10:22 am
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I've worked with a lot of Romanian lads and it's amazing how far it goes just to know how to pronounce some of their words, and like you say, ask them how to get it right.

As for OP, I don't think there's any problem changing your name if that's what you really want to do, maybe keep your surname as your middle name or something? But honestly it should be on other people to be able to say it, not on you to change it to Smith.

Pula mea.

>> No. 26193 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 6:52 pm
26193 All things pass. But fuck this.
Buried dog today. He was a good boy (99.99% of the time).
Fuck's sake, the house is empty.
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>> No. 26195 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 8:10 pm
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I'm so sorry mate. I had a close call recently with mine. He went under anaesthetic at an old age, but came around okay. I realised just what a force he's been in pulling an otherwise distant and unreliable family together. I hope you grieve well for him and maybe find something/someone else to start a new chapter.
>> No. 26196 Anonymous
3rd March 2018
Saturday 8:23 pm
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Commiserations lad. When I have done this in the past, I always found digging the hole oddly cathartic.
>> No. 26201 Anonymous
6th March 2018
Tuesday 4:34 pm
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>> No. 26202 Anonymous
7th March 2018
Wednesday 2:26 am
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The cat I grew up with lived until he was 16 (a bloody good age!) I loved that cat more than anything else, When he went I was heartbroken, But I've still got 1000 good memories and 'D'ya remember whens' about him. Pet are just as much parts of the family as humans.
>> No. 26238 Anonymous
14th March 2018
Wednesday 9:58 pm
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My parents' cat lived to the biblical age of 18, almost 19. She was an outdoor cat, and even in old age she would spend countless hours hunting mice and other small wildlife in our back garden.

My parents live in a small village, and their property borders right on a small forest, which was of course ideal surroundings for a cat. Our vet told us that that was probably the reason why she was so healthy for so long. Because she got plenty of exercise hunting her own food or just roaming the area every day.

But then at some point, leucosis set in, which is basically cat leukemia. It's a communicable disease that is spread by a virus. Poor cat was really beginning to waste away. I remember the day before we had her put down, she was so small and skinny that I could lift her up with the palm of my hand. A healthy adult cat's weight is about 5 kg, which you'd struggle to lift like that, but she weighed little over 1 kg.

>> No. 26216 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 7:29 am
26216 Man child help
I'm middle aged with a teenlad situation.

Backstory as such is that I've been friends with my landlady years before moving in.

Yesterday I messaged her asking if she though I was a good match for her colleague, whom I thought was also her friend. This morning I wake up to the following text:

"No. And she is my staff, not friend. Don't talk to her so much".

Later she also messages me with new arrangements for some stuff with the flat so I don't have to see this other woman.

Your thoughts?
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>> No. 26233 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 10:51 pm
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Oh I'm right with you. Mental landlady who might also be in love with you is a recipe for disaster and homelessness - the one off shag you might get had better fucking be worth it.

I was trying to be nice to the OP; it's clear he is going to be moving house soon.
>> No. 26234 Anonymous
13th March 2018
Tuesday 5:30 am
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OP here, yeah I'm going to move and bang the other girl, maybe go for broke and suggest a threesome.
>> No. 26235 Anonymous
13th March 2018
Tuesday 6:50 am
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Please keep us informed how it goes lad.
>> No. 26236 Anonymous
13th March 2018
Tuesday 7:32 am
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I will. I suspect badly, but it doesn't matter and I am genuinely beyond caring about this.
>> No. 26237 Anonymous
13th March 2018
Tuesday 8:33 am
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This seems more Ideal than Falling Down, to be perfectly honest.

>> No. 26213 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 5:46 am
26213 Possible /lab/fit/ crossover
Recently I've been feeling a total lack of interest immediately after orgasm. Sometimes it's complimented by a creeping sense of acute awareness of the general futility of existence.

Anyone else have this? What is the biological reason for this?
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>> No. 26215 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 7:25 am
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Both, although it depends who the sex was with.
>> No. 26220 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 2:37 pm
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It's called "The Little Death" for a reason. Orgasm removes the buffer between you and the void.
>> No. 26221 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 2:41 pm
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If I have a decent enough wank I do actually fall into a weird semi-sleep state where I have very vivid dreams. Does this happen to everyone or am I an all but unmarketable psychic?
>> No. 26222 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 2:59 pm
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Oh Nietzsche!
>> No. 26224 Anonymous
12th March 2018
Monday 3:18 pm
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I think it's actually a French phrase?


>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 26208 Anonymous
11th March 2018
Sunday 12:17 pm
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Thanks for the responses, lads. I'm 23, bordering 24, which is a fairly pathetic age to be a virgin considering my parents were married by the time they were this age, but it's part of the reason I'm wary of things -- I don't want to come off like a fucking 12 year old but it will happen and I don't know if I am mentally ready for that but I have to be.

It's just eminently frustrating to me that I cannot understand the most basic of human interactions, something that most people understand at an intrinsic level, but to me it's like being like a cat trying to land a plane.

It took me years to be able to make friends like a normal human, and I don't want to alienate those (because if I read the situation wrong then I stand to lose her as a friend and also her friends), so I'm always torn.

I didn't sperg out on the night, so I guess I'll see what happens.
>> No. 26209 Anonymous
11th March 2018
Sunday 3:27 pm
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It's alright lad, I'm nearly 26 and sex and relationships don't appear in my mind at all now. It's just something other people do, not for the likes of me.

If you know any good bullet salesmen do put me in touch.
>> No. 26210 Anonymous
11th March 2018
Sunday 4:09 pm
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You might want to be wary of pursuing her at all then mate. The transition from genuine friend to relationship, and all that entails, rarely survives intact. If the relationship goes sour you lose all that you have already and end up wishing you hadn't bothered.
>> No. 26211 Anonymous
11th March 2018
Sunday 5:07 pm
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But to think that it is the ONLY imperative we really have on this planet (not that I want kids, but that's beside the point), it is just an endless source of frustration. I didn't really care until recently, until it hit me just quite how much of a failure I am.

Hm, that is a good point. Better safe than sorry, I guess. I'm not head over heels about her, anyway.
>> No. 26212 Anonymous
11th March 2018
Sunday 8:47 pm
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> until it hit me just quite how much of a failure I am.

You are not a failure. Live life for yourself, not for others expectations (ironically if you do this then you will become attractive to women, but this cannot be your goal).

Firstly, being autistic/aspergers is no barrier to women and sex. I base this off my observations in the software industry of some clear autists who also have wifes and kids. I suspect I am myself slightly autistic and even I have been in circumstances where I am 99% sure that I could have got myself laid if I had decided I wanted to.

As it happens, I am 30 and a virgin. The reasons for this are personal and very difficult to talk about, even on here, and so they are difficult to resolve.

>> No. 26086 Anonymous
29th January 2018
Monday 6:43 pm
26086 ex-offender mega whinge
Before anyone accuses me of self-pity - I don't feel sorry for myself I feel sad and frustrated
It might be interesting to read
I've been released from prison having served three years. I'm now unemployable and without any friends, living in a hostel full of criminals in a city in England. There are drugs here, im a former heavy user, and there is alcohol everywhere. I'm on a drug which stops alcohol working as im trying to quit, having wasted money.
I'm so sorry for what I did but i cannot fix it and I think it's done a lot of damage. I have no friends, none, all deleted me. Little chance of ever getting a job, and struggling to find a tenancy. There were other offences, burglaries that I did and wasnt caught for; I feel like fucking this life off and grassing myself up for everything I ever did. I've got nothing else to do and it might make some victims feel better but WOULD it? They'd prefer to CATCH the bad guy not have him give himself up because h's got nothing left to live for.. although it would be unusual, heartwarming even.. I'd get another three years, would prob run concurrent with my current license period (1/2 in, 1/2 out for the sentenced offence) Long history of mental illness, got alot better in prison.. I was never able to love myself and had constant paranoia due to conspiracies I was constantly contemplating.. Now i feel like I cannot ever have what i always wanted - warmth and love - because of what i've done..
It matters less to me now, I just want probation and the police to leave me alone. Im not going into details about the offences although I worked out why they happened and it is damn complicated, psychologically.
Anyone been in the same position?
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>> No. 26186 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 8:43 pm
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OP here;
passed the polygraph.
Awaiting instruction as to accomodation; NACRO full and waiting times not given, assumed long. The council told me even if I made it onto their list which I only might, an organisation would be very unlikely to offer me a council tenancy due to my convictions. I'm unaware whether that is legal discrimination, either way it can't be proven. All my "local connection" area's housing stock is owned by private associations.

It's possible I'll be in the probation hostel for like, a year? And then move into god knows where. I'm left unable to plan anything, with 55 GBP per week to waste or save.

Maybe i'll save and go private, TYVM for your time.

I feel like becoming Ray Mears and going to live in the wild and eat rabbit and pheasant until I run out of money. Has anyone done this?
Hope thread was interesting.
>> No. 26187 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 9:18 pm
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Ah it must be, I loved those books as a kid.
>> No. 26190 Anonymous
27th February 2018
Tuesday 11:41 pm
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>>26186 I considered many years ago to wander the country via the YMCA hostels. I met a few people who do that as there are quite a few. and you get to wander about a bit.
>> No. 26191 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 10:50 am
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>>26190 I think there are a lot of druggies and alcoholics there. There are also fit chicks apparently
>> No. 26192 Anonymous
1st March 2018
Thursday 10:51 am
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>>26190 sounds like a fun idea

>> No. 26182 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 5:17 am
26182 Pivoting.
Has anyone here ever made a dramatic career change?

I'm posting here rather than /job/ because I think it's more about my impulses than anything else. I feel like I have a problem, which is that whenever I achieve whatever goal I have in my mind for something, I immediately lose all interest in it. I studied music, and had my fingers in all sorts of pies while at uni for that, working in studios, recording bands, I even had a couple of producer credits on proper (but not hugely popular) albums. Yet as soon as I graduated I lost all interest. I ended up in a kitchen job and worked my way up in that industry fairly quickly, ending up as the executive chef for the chain I was working at. Once I'd established myself there and was doing well, I fucked it off to try and get a job designing mass produced food, and I worked a few contracts for that sort of thing.

I've never really wanted any of this. I just go along with something and feel the need to put my entire life on hold to achieve some arbitrary success or milestone. Then I get bored of it and start daydreaming out of the window. It doesn't seem like a healthy way to life.

I'm at the point now where I'm bored with the current industry and want to do what I had basically planned to do when I was about 17, which is computing.

I've always held an interest in that area and have picked up a fair bit in the field, and it's basically all I want to do now. My established career is fairly lucrative but I just don't care, and right now I'd rather be on 150 quid a week in some apprenticeship, racking up the certifications. Right now it feels like it's the solution to all my problems, and it might well be - I might finally find something I want to keep doing down this road. But at the same time, I fear it'll end up like everything else. Once my arse is in the chair I'm aiming for, I'll be fed up again.

I don't even know what I'm asking, here, to be honest. It just seems not normal to jump about like this, and to be thinking about diverting from very well paying, senior roles in a job market just because I've made it that far and got bored.
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>> No. 26183 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 7:49 am
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It sounds like you don't have a mortgage or a family. I do, and a career change seems impossible to me.
>> No. 26184 Anonymous
18th February 2018
Sunday 3:57 pm
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>>26182 OP, I'm 35 if that's worth anything, I have done commercial gas work for 12 years, I like the job itself but the people can be incredibly stupid. I am not a clever person either but i can learn slowly. You, on the other hand, sound like a clever person who can turn there hand to anything, have you considered the type of life Elon Musk has? and as >>26183 you sound free enough and clever enough to do anything.
>> No. 26185 Anonymous
23rd February 2018
Friday 1:48 pm
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Have you thought about starting your own business? It sounds like you're looking to keep occupied until you 'master' what you're doing, and want to change.

>> No. 26169 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 7:47 pm
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Im having a really strange problem that i have never encountered before, and didnt even realise actually ever really happened.

Ive been in a relationship with this girl for about 5 or 6 months and everything was going great. We both had the same feelings for each other etc.

We lived together in temporary accommodation for 4 months and then she got moved to a different place round the corner to a place that has keyworkers as she is bipolar. At first i wasnt allowed access to the building as i didnt have any photo id. I eventually got this and we resumed relations for 3 days a week. Then i got banned from the building for going to her place whilst having been signed in by another resident. Stupid way to be treated as adults.

Now the problem is that we are lucky to meet 2 or 3 times a month and its all on her terms or so it seems. She calls me up to meet me when she wants sex and sneaks into my place. Now, it may sound like every blokes dream being used in this way but what i miss is the companionship and i feel robbed of an opportunity at happiness as we really did get on so well.

Things are that ridiculous i have to write her handwritten letters as she smashed her phone up at Christmas during one of her episodes.

She says the only way around this is to find permanent accommodation as we cant be meeting on the street at our age or in this weather and even when we have done its not like we can do much...

In essence, im heartbroken as in all my years ive never been this much in love. If i could just get over it and forget her that would make me happy as a second option but i cant get her out of my mind, i just think about her 24/7. Also, security at my place are also bastards and wont let her contact me even though they know we have been together for some time so when she comes looking for me ill be in my room none the wiser.

Can anyone tell me what course of action they would take in this situation?
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>> No. 26173 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 9:19 pm
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At a glance (sorry to be that guy BUT) it sounds all like BS to me mate, she sounds like a manipulator too scared to break up. I know from experience... If she really wanted to be with you more often, not when she just wanted to have sex, she would manage it. Sorry mate.
>> No. 26174 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 9:28 pm
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I know this is a dank new meme, but let's not Beverley Allit the fuck out of it.
>> No. 26175 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 9:45 pm
26175 spacer
This isn't a new meme, it's common sense advice since the dawn of time.
>> No. 26176 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 10:31 pm
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AKA don't put your dick in crazy.
>> No. 26177 Anonymous
13th February 2018
Tuesday 11:40 pm
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Well we just had a conversation about this on the phone after what ive read here. I applied pressure and said it cant continue cause its doing my head in and she got all upset and said no way does she want to break up and finds the situation as impossible as i do but same as me cant think of a solution that will allow us to be together again.

Im just hoping to get rehoused and then this problem would be solved. If as you mention she did want to end the relationship she is the type of person that would say so. And to be honest it would be a whole lot easier to deal with than this situation :(

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