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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.
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>> No. 29363 Anonymous
2nd February 2020
Sunday 12:12 pm
29363 spacer
Go here if you want to talk to someone one-on-one: https://discord.gg/Nwn8b29

>> No. 30195 Anonymous
24th November 2020
Tuesday 12:04 pm
30195 Incoherent
I can't keep a single coherent thought in my head for more than a matter of seconds unless I'm talking about it to someone, otherwise my head is just a swirling maelstrom of short-term thinking. Even when talking with people I'm not entirely sure it's that much better. Am I just thick or is there something I can do about this so it stops ruining my life? Because I'm becoming rather sick of it.
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>> No. 30208 Anonymous
25th November 2020
Wednesday 1:09 am
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My mate with ADHD says I'm the clearest cut case he's ever seen for an undiagnosed adult. We'll be talking on Discord and I'll be replying "uh huh, yip." and he'll prompt me on if I had done whatever I'd paused the game to do and I'll come out with something like "Sorry, I was watching a documentary on Ant colonies on YT, give me a second"

He says he knows when I've "slipped away" by the tone of my replies. He takes ritalin and he does forget to eat quite a lot.
>> No. 30209 Anonymous
25th November 2020
Wednesday 1:27 am
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OP here, I'll ring the GP tomorrow. I don't think I'll go all in on attempting to blag a diagnosis for ADHD, even though the idea of forgetting to eat does sound quite nice.

Again, I could just be thick, but day in, day out I have all these thoughts shooting around inside my head and I just end up distracted. Whether I distract myself purposefully or I just end up slip-sliding from one idea to another it's all the same outcome. I've tried "unplugging" before and it doesn't really help. I can quite readily lie in bed looking out of the window with just my own brain for company and only get up when the shame of it becomes too much or a parcel needs signing for. I hope none of this sounds like I'm trying to paint myself as some kind of frustrated genius, because many of these thoughts are "what basic admin needs doing?" and "what should I have for lunch?". I just want to get up in the morning and do what I need to do.
>> No. 30210 Anonymous
25th November 2020
Wednesday 1:39 am
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>I don't think I'll go all in on attempting to blag a diagnosis for ADHD
> I have all these thoughts shooting around inside my head and I just end up distracted. Whether I distract myself purposefully or I just end up slip-sliding from one idea to another it's all the same outcome.
It's not blagging if you have the condition m8
>> No. 30211 Anonymous
25th November 2020
Wednesday 5:46 am
30211 spacer

In my experience that applies to Concerta, but not Xenidate. There's no "high" with the latter, and never any feeling to up the dose with either during 8 years of use.
>> No. 30212 Anonymous
25th November 2020
Wednesday 10:14 am
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I have a diagnosis of ADHD - "swirling malestrom" sounds very familiar. I'm not sure why your GP would be eager to steer you down a depression treatment pathway. My GP gave me a 60-second questionnaire to fill out, I handed it back, he said "well you dont have depression" and that was that.

The prescribed medication doesn't work for me - I tried Concerta, Ritalin, and Strattera, but for some reason the only noticeable effect was killing my erections.

>> No. 30156 Anonymous
17th November 2020
Tuesday 9:11 am
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I realise this might sound like a non-issue to some, but I genuinely think my libido/how I think of sex/my sexual habits are endangering a great relationship.

I'm currently living with my girlfriend, and we're having sex probably around four times per week. The way we have it, and the frequency, makes me very happy. I wouldn't want to change anything about it.

Yet I'm still finding myself with a constant "itch". Before we got together, I was playing around with Tinder and similar dating apps after having moved to a new city, and I had loads of fun. Before this, I hadn't been with anyone in maybe two or three years, and to jump back into that was a bit overwhelming. It was partly exhausting, partly thrilling.

I really enjoy the pursuit, flirting, getting to know someone, and finally getting to the intimate stages. I'm not hugely proud of this, but there were times I was involved with more than one girl, under the pretence I wasn't (or at least omission of the fact). That was a shit feeling, I told everyone involved, and I've learned to be more upfront and honest, in that respect.

Now, though, I'm in a pretty healthy and mutually supportive relationship. I don't know where the "itch" is coming from. It may be a bit more complicated than just biology. As stupid as it sounds, I think I just enjoy the freedom to see others (and be seen as) a sexual being more than the rutting.

But I'm also aware I'm going down a really stupid path for the sake of feeling desirable(?) or sexually satisfied. I now find myself casually browsing porn, noticing the body language of girls when I'm out, and (even though I'm a bit ashamed of the thought) wondering what I might find if I quietly put myself on one of those dating apps.

I haven't, and I'd like to think I wouldn't, but something obviously needs to be changed here. I'm already thinking I should curb the porn viewing, and try to channel the energy into something else (I'm already exercising a lot).

Have you lads experienced anything like this? I don't want to hurt the feelings of my girlfriend, or imply that sex between us "isn't enough", because that's not the case. I have a feeling this is tied a lot more to the way I came into the relationship (total deprivation to sudden exposure) than the relationship itself.
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>> No. 30190 Anonymous
22nd November 2020
Sunday 10:20 pm
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> Then again I consider casual sex unfulfilling and recognize that "catching feelings" is a universal recipe for chaos whenever one-side is getting more action. I'm sure you'd feel mighty funny if you're Mrs brought home the Uzbekistan football team.

For what it's worth I'm not the lad suggesting an open relationship as a solution in this thread, I'm merely questioning your, what to me seems like, naivety about people in general.

Coming at my question in >>30188 purely from the perspective of a single person I consider it incredibly naive to assume that anyone that is having casual sex with you isn't also having casual sex with other people (and I also don't see how, unless you don't have sex until after the 10th date and you've met her parents, you can consider the first few times you have sex with someone to be anything other than casual).

In my experience sex comes first, and if you keep on seeing each other you eventually have to make a decision if you're exclusive / moving towards an exclusive relationship or not. The question of "are you seeing anyone else" will inevitably come from one party or the other within a few weeks of seeing each other regularly and that's generally the sign that that party is starting to like you for reasons beyond looks/physicality/sex.

With all that said, however, I often find myself lamenting on this site that I might simply have spent my life around very much the wrong kind of person and/or on the wrong side of many a track.

Such is life. Sage.
>> No. 30191 Anonymous
22nd November 2020
Sunday 11:15 pm
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There's a difference between casual sex and seeing someone but you won't spell out seeing someone until your months into it. My experience is you will either go on a few dates before sex or be exclusively "casual" for about 5 minutes before its implied that you're seeing each other. I don't know how you could be missing the seeing phase unless you're jumping into things.

I'm a good boy who buys a lass flowers a couple weeks into it though, so by accident I've probably been making clear my intentions.

>With all that said, however, I often find myself lamenting on this site that I might simply have spent my life around very much the wrong kind of person and/or on the wrong side of many a track.

For my part I seem to exclusively shag professional women who make more than me so we're probably different types. I'm Posh Spice to your Ginger.
>> No. 30192 Anonymous
22nd November 2020
Sunday 11:47 pm
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>The question of "are you seeing anyone else" will inevitably come from one party or the other within a few weeks of seeing each other

Um, lad - that should be on the first couple of dates/hours, not weeks; depends how old you are I guess. If you're in your thirties, probably whether they want to get married, have kids, or not, all that stuff is fair game.
>> No. 30193 Anonymous
23rd November 2020
Monday 1:20 am
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It's one of those things where I feel like it's rude to ask directly, but you're definitely expected to interrogate each other as to what your "situation" is by the first date. Do you live alone, with a house share, at home, are you recently separated or long term single, shagging around or just testing the waters, and so on. Or, if you're on the apps, you're meant to do it in the fortnight of idle banter and the the first physical date is just to double check in-person compatibility.

I know a couple of lasses who are perennially single and I keep trying to tell them, it's more than likely because they just won't fucking sleep with a bloke until they're convinced it's a long term thing. I can't explain enough that good sex is a requirement on any right thinking bloke's checklist, and if he has to commit before he even finds out if you're a cowgirl or a dead fish, he's going to look elsewhere.

They say men are clueless but honestly some of my female friends are the most autistic motherfuckers I know when it comes to navigating those stages between single and long term couple.
>> No. 30194 Anonymous
23rd November 2020
Monday 1:46 am
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> There's a difference between casual sex and seeing someone but you won't spell out seeing someone until your months into it. My experience is you will either go on a few dates before sex or be exclusively "casual" for about 5 minutes before its implied that you're seeing each other. I don't know how you could be missing the seeing phase unless you're jumping into things.

If I've not had sex by the end of date 3 I give things up as a lost cause. I usually expect to be up to my nuts in guts within about 4-5 hours of actually meeting a girl physically for the first time. That probably is considered "jumping in" but even in the times where's I've struck out and not hit the bedroom by the end of date three I've never actually had the "are you having sex with / seeing anyone else" talk with anyone. That conversation tends to only come up after a few weeks of regularly seeing someone.

Maybe it's implied that if you're on a date then you're 100% fucking single and celibate and I'm just that unlucky cunt who got burned by a bunch of manipulative bitches and now I'm all bitter and assume that everyone's sucking 37 dicks in every given week. In a row? .

> There's a difference between casual sex and seeing someone but you won't spell out seeing someone until your months into it.

I'm probably being autistic now, but do you, at some point, just stop responding to the 2am texts from the girls in your Little Black Book and slowly morph into monogamy? Is there a certain point where you feel like "this is becoming a relationship" and decide to set your Relationship Status on Facebook. Is it the fact that I don't use face book and don't have a public Relationship Status to set that's causing me all this grief? Christ, if that's the case I really am doomed.

> I know a couple of lasses who are perennially single and I keep trying to tell them, it's more than likely because they just won't fucking sleep with a bloke until they're convinced it's a long term thing. I can't explain enough that good sex is a requirement on any right thinking bloke's checklist, and if he has to commit before he even finds out if you're a cowgirl or a dead fish, he's going to look elsewhere.

I've had to tell lasses this myself. She said she wouldn't have sex with a guy until she was in a long term relationship with and I had to tell her that no bloke is going to get into a long term relationship unless they've had sex with her and know they're compatible. That said, I've known this lass shag a bloke she'd barely met just because she was on holiday and knew she'd never see him again and there were no expectations, so it's double standards in any case.
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>> No. 29163 Anonymous
1st January 2020
Wednesday 8:49 pm
29163 How to thicken helmet skin?
I want to thicken the skin of my helmet to reduce the sensitivity of my benin. I've been circumcised which has helped to reduce sensitivity a bit but I want to reduce it more.

Would soaking it in surgical spirit every day help? Would it increase my chances of getting dick cancer or something?

What about rubbing it with sandpaper for a few minutes every day?
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>> No. 30178 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 7:52 pm
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Well he has made his intentions clear that he plans to escalate this to self-mutilatation.

It would be trivial for me to pass his details onto law enforcement for "concern for welfare" reasons and get him put on a 78hr section based on the evidence in this thread alone, never mind whatever he may say that incriminates himself once the cogs of institutionalisation begin to turn.
>> No. 30179 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 7:54 pm
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He did post it on other boards too and it was removed from them.
>> No. 30180 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 8:24 pm
30180 OP

Awww, if you're that concerned I'll get it done by a doctor.
>> No. 30181 Anonymous
18th November 2020
Wednesday 8:28 pm
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Sorry to burst your bubble, but sanding your cock down to a nub doesn't warrant sectioning these days because it's not immediately life-threatening. Even before the pandemic, psychiatric inpatient units were working on a one-in, one-out basis and most units were routinely having to discharge actively suicidal patients to make room for even more suicidal patients.
>> No. 30182 Anonymous
19th November 2020
Thursday 2:56 am
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Another casualty of covid. RIP OP's knob.

We could always delete it and ban him if he comes back, but then we wouldn't be able to call him an arsehole in longform.

>> No. 30141 Anonymous
25th October 2020
Sunday 12:59 pm
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Lads I need a bit of help with a slight domestic.

My partner's family is very, very close. There's only 4 and a dog, and they're the type of family who call each other multiple times a day. My family is not, we're happy with contact every so often, but it's still a loving situation. For context we're a youngish couple.

The problem is we've moved to London. We're in a 4 x 5 meter room with a single bathroom, and they've come to visit. Firstly it was just the mother, who is sleeping on an airbed in the room. I knew I'd have a problem with privacy so I agreed with my partner that she could stay for three days, before getting a hotel room, and then when the Brother comes down he can stay over the one night he's here and then we're golden.

On the third day, I ask my partner about what was happening, as I had got the impression from the Mother that she was staying for the full stay, and my partner replies that she hadn't said anything to her; and that it's only one more night. I also find out the brother is staying for 3 nights. I ask her, paraphrasing, what the fuck- as we'd agreed 3 nights because I wasn't comfortable sharing a room for that long. However, as the room is small, her mother overhears (or possibly listened in, as has happened before), and thinks I'm kicking her out. After a long conversation with my partner about how she was going to ask me for the extra night, I explain to the mother about space, how I'm still getting used to how close their family are, and that she should stay the extra night and then let the brother take her space. I fell on my sword to avoid the awkwardness.

Each member of that family (barring my partner thank god) snore. So loudly, I ended up measuring it: 75 fucking decibels. In a 4 x 5 meter room. I haven't been able to get to sleep until about 3 am about 4 nights now, which is a huge problem as I'm at work for 8am. This morning, I woke up late as I was kept up till 4 am. I see the entire family is in the room, cleaning, putting away clothes, and I freak out. I feel like shit, couldn't really walk straight, and honestly just begin to cry. I keep away from the family, but there's no space to just cry. I end up sitting on the toilet for about 15 minutes.

This issue has become much larger than the actual space, and it's become a family thing; she sees it as me trying to disallow her family from visiting. She says I've made it awkward after talking to her Mother, and that my face this morning made it awkward. Of course they're allowed to visit. I just need some space. For me, it's become an issue because we compromised over something that made me feel uncomfortable, and she ignored it, and didn't consider my feelings. For me, it's natural that anyone who would visit us would have the instinct to stay in a hotel room after a couple of days, for her it's natural that the family would be as close as possible. She and the Brother are staying in a hotel tonight, leaving me alone in the flat. We've never fought in the entire time we've been together, so this is new territory.

Lads what's a way out of this?
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>> No. 30150 Anonymous
25th October 2020
Sunday 7:32 pm
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That's pretty mad to just sleep at the foot of your adult child's bed, that they're sharing with their partner, and then invite your other adult child to do the same thing. I'm clearly maladjusted because my parents are weirdos who hate everyone and try as I might some of that has rubbed off on me, but this seems like an immense intrusion. It's not like you called her mum a "prick" for trying some of your order from the takeaway or punched her brother for not taking his shoes off in the flat.

I really don't have any advice other than to say it's their behavior that's unusual and that I don't think you've acted untoward, especially not after your partner told you her family would be moving onto a hotel. I think that's the crux of the issue. If it's a money issue, IE, a hotel is too pricy, then I've got plenty of sympathy for that, but if that information hasn't been shared with you it's hardly your fault for not considering it.
>> No. 30151 Anonymous
25th October 2020
Sunday 7:36 pm
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I totally agree it is their behaviours thats unusual - also, if it is a money issue, you don't travel - I mean 3 strangers in the same room as you is just weird, however they have lived their life before.

I would tolerate it for one night in an emergency but I think you're beating yourself up too much >>30148 lad.
>> No. 30152 Anonymous
25th October 2020
Sunday 8:33 pm
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>The old fashioned Manly Thing To Do would have been to book yourself a hotel.

Fuck that. Every man's home is his castle.

>Is that just me?

No, it really is true what they say that if you want to be someone's lover you've got to "get with" their friends.

And then they have the audacity to view us with suspicion like we're lying about not doing it because we're wrong'uns. I've taken in turn to lying about it and saying that I use a lesbian friend for advice on women because it sounds plausible in a mildly bigoted sort of way.

The reality is we gossip about women on anonymous imageboards and if they ever discovered this secret our lives would become hell because all posts would be attributed to us.
>> No. 30154 Anonymous
9th November 2020
Monday 1:47 am
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Mate a family sticking around that much is weird as hell, don't pretend it's not.
>> No. 30155 Anonymous
9th November 2020
Monday 10:55 am
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That's pretty nuts. Are they paying rent?

>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 30137 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:35 pm
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Like Timecrimes, or Primer.

I get most of my knowledge on theoretical physics from sci-fi.
>> No. 30138 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:41 pm
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Going back in time is simply going to another dimension that is further back in time, if you were to change things in that universe and come back to the "present" (this universe) nothing would have changed.
It's not about going back and forth, it's about going sideways.

Sage because wrong thread for this.
>> No. 30139 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 3:48 pm
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What about a time machine that reassembles the universe to a previous state with perfect accuracy. Technically it would actually be the future but for all practical purposes you would be in the past.

Fucks sake. I only came here to share my thought on Aardvarks but that was 40 minutes ago.
>> No. 30140 Anonymous
21st October 2020
Wednesday 4:13 pm
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Nonsense. Time is a spatial dimension just like up, down, forwards and backwards. The past and future is happening simultaneously to the present. The beginning meets the end, the outer edge meets the opposite side. It's all connected in a great big moebius strip.
>> No. 30153 Anonymous
4th November 2020
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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I missed the train to see my dad, my only mate doesn't like me anymore and I can never find trousers that I like.

>> No. 30119 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 4:14 pm
30119 How Do I Fix My Life?
Right, long post incoming.

Woke up anxious as fuck and very teary this morning and I think I've been kicking inaction down the road for too long.

I'm 29, turning 30 in January and life isn't quite how I anticipated it would be. It's not all bad and I'm sure no ones life is how they really wanted it to be, but the last few years and the last year in particular I feel I have really gone off the rails and fallen behind. I'm unmotivated, indecisive and I think I'm depressed.

I met with a friend I hadn't seen in months last night for a few drinks and a catch up. He's doing well, he's now been married a year, they've had an offer accepted for a house and will be moving in a few weeks and because of COVID he now works from home permanently and has had a £5,000 pay rise due to them getting rid of the offices. I am of course happy for them and I hate the envy that I feel.

As for me, I'm in a job that I do really enjoy and it is very varied, but because of the sector I'm on £18,200 and I have had none of the pay rises that I was promised, even if I work more hours and have to travel for work more than any of my friends.

A lot of these sounds petty and I know everything isn't about money but it is disheartening, especially when at the beginning of my 20s I was speaking at conferences abroad and involved in loads of interesting project work. I have stagnated. Obviously this is my fault, but I seem to have a severe lack of motivation, drive and focus. I want it back.

I'm also in a relationship with someone who I have been with for nearly 6 years. They want to get married, will probably leave soon if I don't propose and I don't know what to do. I feel too old to start over but don't know if I should actually do it either. They're older than me, still studying and working part time so essentially there isn't really a second income.

Only two of my friends still speak to me and my friend's wife no longer does due to a bust up her and my partner had before her wedding.
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>> No. 30120 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 4:31 pm
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Well, what do you actually want?
>> No. 30121 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 4:52 pm
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You're depressed. It sounds like a mix of a quarter-life crisis and general 2020 malaise. See your GP and ask them about treatment options. The availability of talk therapy is even more patchy than usual, but I'd recommend giving antidepressant medication a try for a couple of months - it might do nothing for you, but it might be the boost you need to get yourself sorted.

Starting an exercise regime is probably a good idea for your physical and mental health; exercise is a natural anti-depressant and getting fitter will give you a sense of control and remind your subconscious mind that there are things you can do to improve your life.

More broadly, your post suggests that you're overly worried about the expectations of other people and don't really have an internal sense of your own worth. I'd suggest having a think about what you'd like to do purely for yourself, just for the fun of it. Maybe you'd like to take up a new hobby or learn a new skill, maybe you'd like to retrain and try a different career, it doesn't really matter - it's about what you want to do with your time. If you have a think about what you'd like to do and just see a big wall of fuck-all, then I'd refer you back to the first paragraph.
>> No. 30123 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 5:30 pm
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I just want some direction and to feel happy again. I want the old me back. Not to feel I've wasted the last five years.


I am very wary of anti-depressents, I have seen people become very different after starting them.

It might sound silly, but how do you gain a sense of your own worth?

I know that I shouldn't worry too much about others expectations but it's hard not to feel like a burden and a complete dissapointment sometimes. I want what other people have sometimes.
>> No. 30126 Anonymous
17th October 2020
Saturday 12:30 am
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The first thing you need to do is stop comparing yourself to other people, that's a dead end. Compare yourself to how you were a year ago. Don't like the comparison? Then you know you need to change. Like the other lad said, exercise works wonder for your mental health.

Secondly, learn to be grateful for your position. I know this is your standard "be grateful for what you have" shite you see plastered all over single Mum Facebook, but it really is the truth. Take stock of the things you actually have in life and be grateful for them. For one, you have a partner who loves you enough to want to get married to you. There's lads on this board, me included, who would give a kidney to experience this. I'm aware of how dull, boring and depressing partners can be at times, when you just want to sink a bottle of whiskey and go off the deep end but writing off 6 years for a night's worth of debauchery really isn't worth it mate. If you really want to jump off the deep end, you can do, just don't expect others to follow you, they know what's at the bottom.

>> No. 30091 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 4:16 pm
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How do you know if you should get married?

By asking and being unsure would normally be a red flag to me that I don't want to, but I do have a tendency to delay and overanalyse things.
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>> No. 30111 Anonymous
15th October 2020
Thursday 6:12 pm
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It's called the Optimal Stopping algorithm. It's been applied to looking for a partner, when to sell your house, but clasically is described around hiring someone, the traditional example is of hiring a secretary. It's about knowing "when to stop looking" (or waiting), depending on how much information you have.

It is described in detail in a number of books, but my favourite is Algorithms to Live By, by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths.
>> No. 30112 Anonymous
15th October 2020
Thursday 7:35 pm
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I'm the product of donor sperm, and have 15 half-siblings out there somewhere, all of whom are a similar age to me.

It is a bit strange to think that I may end up meeting and being attracted to my half-sister, but then I remember I'm a raging turbovirgin and that's never going to be an issue.
>> No. 30113 Anonymous
15th October 2020
Thursday 9:59 pm
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your dating hopes.png
>> No. 30114 Anonymous
15th October 2020
Thursday 11:07 pm
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How dare you, I've got a range rover.
>> No. 30115 Anonymous
16th October 2020
Friday 11:49 am
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OP here, this kind of confirms my fears. If we break up, realistcally, I won't find anyone else. All of my friends moved away and I don't live near family so I won't even had anyone to talk to. Wish I chose wisely 5 years ago instead of just getting comfortable.

>> No. 27047 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 2:03 pm
27047 Where to meet birds
So, I've decided to try and not be that guy, a relationship-less virgin, into my mid-20s, which doesn't leave me with very long. I'm home from uni for the summer and have decided it's time to sort my act out.

The only problem - where to meet women?

I've completed tinder in a 15 mile radius, likewise for Bumble - zero (0) matches. I've messaged pretty much every girl on OKCupid with a match >75%; not one has replied.

What can I do now? The few local schoolfriends I am still in contact with are all male, everyone at my job is male, and all the women I talk to (from uni) are either in a relationship or otherwise not an option.

Going out to clubs doesn't work because a) I don't have anyone to go with, and b) when I try and do anything but stand at the bar drinking in a club (ie dance) I look like a tortoise trying to pilot a motorcycle.

Any ideas?
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>> No. 30088 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 12:26 am
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>much of the abrasiveness some people have can merely be attributed to needing a good shagging

>> No. 30089 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 1:07 am
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You're absolutely right, but more than that, I think it's the ability to enjoy a good shagging. Throughout my life I've had one or two lasses with wierd sexual hang-up that really made sex quite tedious, and I think it really coincided with the more melancholy or bitter aspects of their personality. Same probably goes for men of course.

It's not just getting laid. It's knowing that everyone else gets a feeling of wellbeing from a decent shag, that they're just too shy, or self conscious, or narcissistic or whatever to get it too.
>> No. 30090 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 1:31 am
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On the other hand, mental birds are the best in bed. We all know that you should Consider if you are truly mentally and emotionally capable of supporting a partner with their own mental health issues, but it's sorely tempting.
>> No. 30093 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 4:51 pm
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This thread has convinced me to just stick with my current relationship even if it is questionable. Dating sounds awful, especially nowadays. I honestly think I'd just be alone at this point if I was single again.
>> No. 30097 Anonymous
14th October 2020
Wednesday 7:04 pm
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>> No. 30043 Anonymous
5th October 2020
Monday 11:42 pm
30043 Stolen Phone
Aight lads, my phone just got stolen in East London. I've disabled the sim, sent a notification to Find My Device on google and remotely logged out of Google Facebook and Whatsapp. Is there anything else I should do (apart from go back to primary school to learn about interaction with strangers)? I don't really use apps for really sensitive things, and I have a pattern login, but I'm still a bit on edge.
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>> No. 30047 Anonymous
6th October 2020
Tuesday 12:42 am
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Oh. Pick pocketing? Less violent than I thought. Anyway, police won't do anything. They are cunts. I got robbed when I was 15, and they basically asked me if I were lying. Why would I lie? I am still confused by that question 15 years later.

It is still good to have a paper trail of the robbery. Also, you could go all "Taken" on them, and track them. Maybe rob them back at 5am with a couple of mates with knives and bats? I don't want to incriminate myself... but 5 grand is a lot of money to stumble upon.
>> No. 30048 Anonymous
6th October 2020
Tuesday 12:46 am
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Won't be able to access my IMEI number til I can use my landline tomorrow, I'm assuming since I disabled the SIM there's nothing they can do even if they have the IMEI?
Yeah, very amicable pickpocketing, I assume I look like a proper chump when I walk down the street so no threat of violence is needed against me. In real life I think the worst thing that can happen is that they rob or blackmail the £50 I own from me, but I'm also worried they'll hack onto my fb page I haven't used in 5 years and post "im gay".
>> No. 30049 Anonymous
6th October 2020
Tuesday 1:18 am
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Might as well write it off. I think you should still report it to the police.

From my understanding, they will probably reset everything and resell it. I don't think they want to personally snoop through your stuff, since it would take a bit of work to log into your accounts, and get all your data. I hope you backed up your data.

Live and learn. People are cunts.
>> No. 30050 Anonymous
6th October 2020
Tuesday 7:20 am
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>I'm still a bit on edge.

I think it's a sad fact of life that if you live in London, you're going to get robbed from time to time. It is unsettling, and there is almost nothing you can do about it. Console yourself with the fact that these people were obviously in a desperate situation to be doing this, and they didn't harm you.

Write it off, and move on. It's just a device, no matter how jarring the whole process is. You will learn from this about how you interact with others in the street, and you will learn to not make eye contact or be as "helpful" to most strangers, no matter how upsetting those concepts are. For kind, open people, these are difficult lessons to learn, but you will.
>> No. 30051 Anonymous
6th October 2020
Tuesday 12:19 pm
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Thanks dude, I will try to remember all that next time I'm walking home pissed at 11PM on a Monday.

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>> No. 30011 Anonymous
20th September 2020
Sunday 10:32 pm
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Should I start weaning myself off tranny porn? I know that on a scientific level the combination of a penis + tits and a vaguely feminine figure can really get the old neurons a firin', but hot traps don't really exist in real life unless you have £150-£200 to spend on escorts.

I think this is a question that can be extended to anyone who wanks to non-vanilla stuff. In a world full of horses, ponies, and donkeys, is it wise to train yourself to get off to unicorns?
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>> No. 30020 Anonymous
21st September 2020
Monday 8:13 am
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>Don't listen to that nofap bullshit - porn does no harm.

Porn can very much do harm, as can almost anything. Pointing out porn has been a detriment for one person doesn't mean it's inherently shameful or evil.

Personally, I also believe I'd have been far better off if I'd not watched porn, or reduced my viewing. It wasn't even so much about developing unrealistic expectations (in fact, the sheer variety and availability of porn probably increased the scope of my sexual attractions, and made it easier to see that side of people in real life), but I've also developed some really unhealthy associations between sex and certain emotional states.

Ultimately, porn is a pretty isolated and passive form of consumption. It can be distracting, expensive (in terms of time and/or money), and can really cause certain wires to be crossed psychologically.

There are better ways of dealing with stress or sexual needs, but I guess it all depends how you use these things.
>> No. 30021 Anonymous
21st September 2020
Monday 8:37 am
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Porn tends to normalise things that aren't generally part of a healthy sexual relationship. Studies have found that a lot of teenage girls have felt pressured into performing sex acts they're not comfortable with because teenage boys are growing up thinking things like aggressive throat fucking are the norm.
>> No. 30022 Anonymous
21st September 2020
Monday 12:43 pm
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Yes, there's things I saw as a teenager that, although I was too overconfident to admit it then, really upset me.
>> No. 30023 Anonymous
21st September 2020
Monday 5:57 pm
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If it's not a MILF or a femboy I'm not interested.
>> No. 30024 Anonymous
22nd September 2020
Tuesday 4:49 am
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I'm not down with the religiosity of nofap but after trying "noporn", I do recognise the benefits of qutting porn and wanking using solely one's imagination. I heard a quote once which went something like "pornography takes you further than you want to go, it costs you more than you're willing to pay, and it'll keep you longer than you want to stay". In my experience that couldn't be more accurate.

I have actually been to tranny clubs a couple of times. All the fit gender benders I encountered were prostitutes. Sex is an ephemeral thing and ultimately the goal for most people is a tangible, intimate connection, and this is something that is far more achievable when you have a pool of 50% of the population that is comprised of women rather than the 1% that is comprised of gender benders.

>> No. 29985 Anonymous
6th September 2020
Sunday 11:50 am
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I’ve been in the habit of checking out of my own life and going along with whatever is happening. I have been turning the tide on that so I’m now in good shape, with good hobbies, and have a decent job that I enjoy. However that’s got me to the point where I now have to confront my relationships, which are pretty bad because I’ve been disingenuous for a long time.

As a result, I am lonely and don’t make much effort with the friends I have or people I know. Over the years I’ve been in the habit of not standing up for myself, of being quiet, and of not expressing how I actually feel. Instead I’ve had an overly agreeable personality and swept any issues under the rug.

This means that my friendships are weird and in order to keep pretending, I end up flaky and unreliable. It’s gotten worse over the years to now where I don’t call or text people and seldom see anyone but my family. Rather than just say what’s wrong, I’ve been an arse and avoided these people or the problem. Maybe it'd magically go away? To acquaintances I likely seem aloof or reserved, which also hinders my chances of being reasonably social. This plays out in my mind a lot, and I end up sad and not doing anything on the internet. I'm currently being asked 'what I did this summer' which you can imagine is thrilling.

Turning it around feels doable, but I am finding it hard just accepting the utter mess that I have made of my social life. I’m curious if you have had experiences like this and how you’ve managed it, or whether there’s something interesting to read on the topic. I had a rough childhood which is the cause for a lot of this. Most of my life has been about survival, so the ideas like 'being honest' and 'if you don't like someone, don't be friends with them' all seem very new.

tl;dr - have you had to grow a pair? What's it like? Is there a book on it?
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>> No. 29986 Anonymous
6th September 2020
Sunday 2:38 pm
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What is it exactly you want from these relationships? Because it sounds like you don't care really about these people you just feel like you are supposed to.
>> No. 29987 Anonymous
6th September 2020
Sunday 7:06 pm
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Honestly my best mate nowadays is my girlfriend, which sounds a bit sad, but out of any of my friends she's by far the most reliable. Hasn't turned me down on a pint yet, and she always wants to come and see the same films I want to see.

I was in a similar position for a while I suppose, and it caused me a similar level of distress. The hardest thing was figuring out if it's me who isn't putting in enough effort, or if it's them who are constantly just flaking on me and letting me down. I came to the conclusion that it doesn't effectively matter- Either way you're clearly just not as arsed hanging out with each other as you used to be. What difference does it make.

One the whole covid thing is done with I'm hoping to make a bit of a "fresh start" so to speak. I've actually put a lot of things "right" with my life over the course of the crisis, weirdly enough, and it has lifted a lot of the anxieties from my shoulders knowing that I am indeed capable of change instead of just wallowing in a rut. Making some new friends is probably the only thing I'm missing now. A clean slate with no past baggage and such would only be a good thing I think.

In general I don't think it's worth stressing about trying to rekindle friendships that have grown distant. It might be sad to grow apart from someone you considered yourself close to, but you don't have to burn the bridge entirely. At best, it's just kind of forcing things, and it leaves you feeling twice as bitter if things end up stagnating again.
>> No. 29988 Anonymous
6th September 2020
Sunday 7:30 pm
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>Honestly my best mate nowadays is my girlfriend, which sounds a bit sad, but out of any of my friends she's by far the most reliable. Hasn't turned me down on a pint yet, and she always wants to come and see the same films I want to see.

This sounds like a great and healthy situation, it honestly sounds sadder that you think this is a problem somehow.
>> No. 29989 Anonymous
6th September 2020
Sunday 8:16 pm
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I don't think it's a problem, just that it's generally seen as healthier to have a good mix of social acquaintances as well as a romantic partner. Not putting all your eggs in one basket, sort of thing. If I didn't have any other mates and we broke up (not that I foresee that happening), it'd be devastating.

>> No. 29974 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 11:17 pm
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tl;dr got attached to an internet person I'd never met know consciously knowing it was a ridiculous thing to do and now she's off on a date and I'm having a crisis I knew would happen.

Been chatting with this young American bird on the internet, we talk a lot on the phone, shared pictures, I knew it was just a bit of fun for her but I got attached because I've been completely friendless and lived alone for five years and have never really had any interest from any women, internet ones or otherwise, today she has a date in real life and I wished her well and all that but internally I am screaming, I knew full well I shouldn't let this happen but given the context I also knew it was inevitable that I would let myself get attached to some stupid idea out of desperation and now I can't handle it.

Fucks sake lads.
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>> No. 29975 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 11:29 pm
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>consciously knowing it was a ridiculous thing to do

It is difficult to give advice, without sounding callous or harsh to you - and I certainly don't mean it to come across that way, but it probably will.

You both sought and got comfort from a situation that was never, or hardly ever going to resolve in a positive way. She is sharing the fact she "has a date" with you, for a reason - it's the long distance equivalent of a breakup. You were both doing it for "a bit of fun" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

You're obviously capable of forming relationships, friendships with women - focus on that positive aspect. You've done it once, you'll do it again. With time, this pain will pass.

>> No. 29968 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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I'm having trouble at work because I can't seem to focus which leads to a backlog that only builds up making it worse. Tasks that are "do this by 2" are fine but larger projects requiring creativity have become challenging. Any tips on restoring and managing executive function?

The obvious solution is to take holiday so middle of next month I'm off for two weeks but what can I do to focus and survive until then?
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>> No. 29969 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 10:42 pm
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It sounds like you need a bit of structure. Sit down, maybe with a colleague if needed, and get a bit of a plan in place. Doesn't have to be fancy with brilliant time estimates. Could just be some scribbles in a note book. But something to give you a rough idea of the shape of the project and what bits might depend on other bits.

In the software development world, something like Trello (free) is popular as a way of making little cards for things like this with columns to show status. (Until you decide it doesn't have enough features and you move to something else).
>> No. 29970 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 10:43 pm
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May I ask, without too many specifics, what kind of work do you do?

I have felt the same this year, as have many others I know. Definitely recommend taking a break - I am in the middle of my first two week holiday this year (!) and already feel about a hundred times better. I think a lot of people who have been working from home the past five months have also been putting the hours in and going very hard, and burnout is a real issue, as is general mental health on not seeing people in person. It is very difficult to be creative when you're in this space.

Talk to the people around you, particularly if you're under pressure - many of us are in the same boat.
>> No. 29972 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 11:02 pm
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You're right, there's definitely an improvement if I can sit down and go through exactly what I need to do.

We have a similar system at work for task management but I ended up resenting the idea that others can see what I'm doing. It feels quite unnatural for me where usually I like jumping through tasks as and when.

Creative stuff where I'm part translating reams of information into packages. Yeah, I was thinking back when I was writing OP that I really haven't taken any time off since Christmas because options are quite limited at the moment besides doing nothing.

There was and idea to use the bank holiday to get away and see an old mate but it looks the usual engineering works is going on. Maybe I will try and relax with a new game.
>> No. 29973 Anonymous
25th August 2020
Tuesday 11:04 pm
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>besides doing nothing

But that's the important part - I have spent the past week dodging the rain and doing DIY around the house, reading, and mostly only using this computer and not the one that is about 1 metre to the left and hooked up to the work VPN - doing nothing is good. Games are good. Don't feel guilty about doing nothing, that is the literal definition of taking a break.

On the work and prioritisation stuff, I recommend a system called Getting Things Done - I don't use it all the time like a madman, but I do fall back on it when I get stressed or task-overloaded as you have described; there are other systems, but that one works for me - it's a book by David Allen and is used/taught by a lot of companies. It begins with a great big braindump, and I find that part very soothing when it all gets too much.

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