|>>|| No. 30141
Lads I need a bit of help with a slight domestic.
My partner's family is very, very close. There's only 4 and a dog, and they're the type of family who call each other multiple times a day. My family is not, we're happy with contact every so often, but it's still a loving situation. For context we're a youngish couple.
The problem is we've moved to London. We're in a 4 x 5 meter room with a single bathroom, and they've come to visit. Firstly it was just the mother, who is sleeping on an airbed in the room. I knew I'd have a problem with privacy so I agreed with my partner that she could stay for three days, before getting a hotel room, and then when the Brother comes down he can stay over the one night he's here and then we're golden.
On the third day, I ask my partner about what was happening, as I had got the impression from the Mother that she was staying for the full stay, and my partner replies that she hadn't said anything to her; and that it's only one more night. I also find out the brother is staying for 3 nights. I ask her, paraphrasing, what the fuck- as we'd agreed 3 nights because I wasn't comfortable sharing a room for that long. However, as the room is small, her mother overhears (or possibly listened in, as has happened before), and thinks I'm kicking her out. After a long conversation with my partner about how she was going to ask me for the extra night, I explain to the mother about space, how I'm still getting used to how close their family are, and that she should stay the extra night and then let the brother take her space. I fell on my sword to avoid the awkwardness.
Each member of that family (barring my partner thank god) snore. So loudly, I ended up measuring it: 75 fucking decibels. In a 4 x 5 meter room. I haven't been able to get to sleep until about 3 am about 4 nights now, which is a huge problem as I'm at work for 8am. This morning, I woke up late as I was kept up till 4 am. I see the entire family is in the room, cleaning, putting away clothes, and I freak out. I feel like shit, couldn't really walk straight, and honestly just begin to cry. I keep away from the family, but there's no space to just cry. I end up sitting on the toilet for about 15 minutes.
This issue has become much larger than the actual space, and it's become a family thing; she sees it as me trying to disallow her family from visiting. She says I've made it awkward after talking to her Mother, and that my face this morning made it awkward. Of course they're allowed to visit. I just need some space. For me, it's become an issue because we compromised over something that made me feel uncomfortable, and she ignored it, and didn't consider my feelings. For me, it's natural that anyone who would visit us would have the instinct to stay in a hotel room after a couple of days, for her it's natural that the family would be as close as possible. She and the Brother are staying in a hotel tonight, leaving me alone in the flat. We've never fought in the entire time we've been together, so this is new territory.
Lads what's a way out of this?