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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 24798 Anonymous
20th April 2017
Thursday 10:10 pm
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It is so liberating to be so brain-damaged that you forget about things that happened years ago, people you have met, things you did, etc. Sometimes I play along and act like I know what the fuck-off memory some of the cunts around me are talking about.
>> No. 24799 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 4:53 pm
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You completely missed the point. It's not about "self-aggrandising" and it's not about the alcohol, it's about the process that led you up to drinking the alcohol in the first place.

Even if you want to take the utterly simplistic case of someone who's drinking too much, the "fix" (as if there could ever be such a thing) isn't simply to stop drinking alcohol. All that stopping drinking will do for that person is take them back to who they were before they started drinking, which is to say the exact self same person who started drinking in the first place with all of same problems and reasons that they had before. Basically you're back to square one except now your liver hurts and all your friends think you're a prick. Thus the cycle of misery and addiction.

Thanks for sharing your utterly sophomoric thought processes with us anyway, cupcake.
>> No. 24801 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 9:19 pm
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If it's not about that, then why were you talking about wolf and sheep? Clearly he's functional when he's not drinking. It's also obvious that he was depressed post-binge, which is normal. I was just trying to reassure the guy that no, he's not really a psychopath or a bad person, that's the result of him drinking, whereas you seem to be doing the opposite and encouraging him to drink on top of that.

Despite his claim now that it's not the alcohol that does it, he's been doing better since he stopped. I think that speaks for itself. Now if you'll excuse me, a four-pack of tennants super in the offie is calling my name.
>> No. 24802 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 10:21 pm
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Oh, uh..I didn't meant to imply I'd stopped. I haven't. I actually just got a litre of gin.
>> No. 24803 Anonymous
21st April 2017
Friday 10:27 pm
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Then I retract what I said in light of new information.

>> No. 24440 Anonymous
12th March 2017
Sunday 4:41 pm
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I can't ever stop thinking.

I can't cut loose, ever. It doesn't matter how much I drink -- though the overthinking prevents me from drinking too much most of the time.

I can never enjoy a night out (even if I enjoy the music, which is rare) because I'm just constantly going over stuff in my head, usually thinking how much of a cunt I must look.

I just want to be able to just forget about how I'm getting home, or over conversations I've had months ago, or if I'm acting right for the situation, or if I've just said or done the wrong thing, or what I'm going to do tomorrow and extensively planning it, but I can't, ever. People always say to me "you always overthink everything, just be yourself and cut loose"; I can't though.

I don't dance because of a crushing anxiety that I'll look like a cunt.

I've reached out for help with anxiety and heard nothing from the NHS for months and had appointments with my job counsellor (who isn't very useful anyway) cancelled repeatedly.

What the fuck can I do? A lobotomy is looking good right now.
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>> No. 24782 Anonymous
13th April 2017
Thursday 3:37 pm
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I tend to be a lot like OP. I can feel very timid and inhibited when I am out with friends, to the point that I carefully ponder even the smallest joke or slightest witty remark in my head long before I find the courage to say it out loud. And then I very carefully observe what other people thought of my remark. And then I worry if they really mean it when they say "Oh, that's really funny". And so on. I also often don't find the courage to just have casual conversation with people, let alone strangers, and talking to girls on a night out has also historically always been a nightmare for me.

It's really easier said than done, but OP needs to learn to dial down his constant worrying and thinking about this, that, and the other. Perhaps a way to start is to take a more everyday situation with little or no consequences either way, and then when the worries come on, just think "ok, I am not going to think about all that now. I am going to block out those thoughts at this moment". And once you've managed to do that in insignificant everyday situations that can't harm you, maybe that will give you the confidence to try that approach when you are among people, or even when you want to go on a dance floor.

Cognitive behavioural therapy tends to be hugely overrated these days, but it is right about one thing, and that is that virtually every behaviour of a person starts in their head as a thought or a thought process, however involuntary. And if you manage to disrupt thought processes that lead to behaviours which frustrate you about yourself, then that is the first key to changing them.

If you watched "The Brain with David Eagleman" on BBC Four a while ago, one thing that struck me was the way that brains learn, including learned behaviours. What happens is that "software" (i.e. your thoughts) gradually becomes "hardware", meaning it turns into robust and fixed connections between brain cells. The more you think certain things, the more hardwired they become in your brain. Which goes some way explaining why persistent behaviours are often so hard to change. But it also gives you the key as to how you might start tackling your anxiety problems.
>> No. 24786 Anonymous
14th April 2017
Friday 5:43 pm
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>> No. 24787 Anonymous
16th April 2017
Sunday 8:30 pm
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>> No. 24788 Anonymous
17th April 2017
Monday 12:15 am
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Tried it boss. Doesn't do an awful lot for me (the mild paranoia doesn't help) but thanks for the suggestion.
>> No. 24789 Anonymous
17th April 2017
Monday 12:19 am
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It didn't help me greatly too, but I feel it did slow down my thoughts. But they were still there. I have similar issues too, so I'm following some of the advice on this thread. I don't have an off switch.

>> No. 24665 Anonymous
28th March 2017
Tuesday 7:03 pm
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Lately I've been waking up in the middle of night and feeling a strange sense of unease, the willies. I am scared of something but am unable to define what it is.

My initial assumption was nightmares but last night I could recall a normal dream when I awoke. This is annoying because I'm a grown man but find that some nights I have to switch on my bedside lamp to get back to sleep.

Google seems to come out with all sorts of things that don't seem to apply. There are no adult worries that comes to mind when I'm like this (much as I have them) and it isn't like a panic attack.

Any ideas lads? It isn't a one-time occurrence but seems to be getting more common.
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>> No. 24776 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 10:07 pm
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I should mention that making a small campfire gives you a primal sense of security that no animal will disturb. It's technically illegal in England and Wales so whilst I am emphatically and absolutely not encouraging you to make one, in my opinion anyone who could burn down and English, let alone Welsh forest at midnight deserves a Nobel prize. Though it's legal in Scotland, so I personally recommend clearing a circle in the undergrowth with your boots at least six feet across, digging a small pit then a trench leading away from it a foot or so. Cover all but the last few inches of said trench with a few twigs to make a roof and cover with soil, now you have a decent airflow for your fire from underneath. Use your knife, which you have since you're outdoors in the woods at night and not a mug, to cut a few nearby branches about 2 inches thick or so, stick them over the pit before piling on twigs, some tinder and in half an hour or so you'll have a nice cosy fire. Recommend doing this in woodland where nobody nearby with a mansion will see you. There are few things more heartwarming than roasting sausages on the end of a knife by a fire of your own making while looking at the stars on a cold, dry night while owls hoot around you. Everyone should do it at least once.

Shame becoming a Scout leader these days is like changing your name to Jimmy Saville and expecting not to get funny looks.
>> No. 24778 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 10:24 pm
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Yes mate, lighting a fire then making yourself a silhouette against it with nothing but the things in the dark you can't see coming behind you is sure to reassure people. Why not adjust your eyes to only seeing things that're really close and in one specific direction?

I'm used to walking a lot in the pitch black, it doesn't really bother me. After a while you get used to feeling where the road is going by the slope of it, but one night the same car went back and forth a few times then pulled in ahead of me where I had to walk into the woods, at around 2am. I had to creep through half a mile of woodland with no lights. The supernatural's easy, you can just make up whatever to protect yourself and feel better. Humans, though. They're unpredictable.
>> No. 24779 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 11:19 pm
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About ten years ago, I had a bit of a mental health/insomnia vicious cycle. I was too anxious to sleep and the sleep deprivation made my anxiety worse. For whatever reason, I got really into night running. I had this massive head torch that was like the headlight on a motorbike. I'd get the last train out to Stalybridge, run laps of the peaks and get the first train back in the morning.

It was a spectacularly stupid thing to do, especially during the winter. I had no spare clothing, no survival gear, no phone - just a head torch, some spare batteries and a couple of drinks bottles. Sometimes I'd stand at the top of a hill, turn off my torch and look out into the inky darkness. It was so quiet, so still, so lonely up there. I looked down at the stars below, the dirty orange constellations of street lights. I thought about all the people down there, sleeping soundly in their warm beds.

I'd hear things rustling in the gorse or see a flicker in the shadows, but there was nothing to do but keep running. With every footstep I imagined breaking my ankle, I imagined tumbling down the slope, I imagined freezing to death on that lonely hillside. Oddly, I almost felt safe up there. I was terrified, but at least I was afraid of something real. The adrenaline of fear just melted into the runner's high; fight-or-flight means nothing when you're already flying.
>> No. 24780 Anonymous
12th April 2017
Wednesday 11:28 am
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It's really worth reading the Bible for some of the imagery. Those hovering eyeball monsters and dragons and wasp soldiers in Revelations are amazing.
>> No. 24781 Anonymous
12th April 2017
Wednesday 7:59 pm
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True, but with a fire you have warmth, cosiness and a means to make a cuppa. Do I really need to elaborate on why having a campfire on a freezing cold night in the woods is nice? And if noises in the background are enough to give you the heeby-jeebies then man up. At worst it's a badger snuffling around.

Mt Sanford.jpg
>> No. 24751 Anonymous
4th April 2017
Tuesday 9:16 pm
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I'm not sure if this is /job/ material or /emo/ but since It's a problem I'll put it here.

I've just started a new job, my first day wasn't bad. I could say I enjoyed it since it was different, learnt a few things. It's different from my old job and have no experience in this current environment. Today (my second day) I felt like they put the workload down on me, It wouldn't be so bad if I knew how to do the tasks they've gave me to do tomorrow and onwards. I don't mind a trial by fire if I knew what I was doing. The office manager who is training me will be on maternity leave soon and the boss thinks the best way for me to learn is intense training sessions with him whenever he's in the office (Seems like he is hardly there but will e-mail, phone etc frequently)

As I've said, I have no experience in this area so I'm just starting from scratch. I feel as though they expect me to complete whatever they give me despite knowing full well that I am inexperienced and untrained. In the interview I was labelled a "risk" because of this but the boss thought I had potential. I know it's too early to really decide but I honestly feel as if this job isn't for me.

I left my old job since it was a shithole, I had been there for 2 years and just wanted out so took the first thing that looked promising (Office job) but I feel I left one hellhole for another, that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
The roles they have said they will eventually give me (probably in 1 week with this rushed nature) seem way to much for someone like me, both in experience needed and work amount. I haven't managed anything in my life and hadn't wanted to either. Just wanted a job which didn't erode my soul too much during the day and paid well enough to enjoy my free time.

Part of the purpose for this post is just to vent, I feel like I'm being overwhelmed and may even have a break down sooner or later (I wanted to cry on the bus home) and just say I can't do this. I feel like giving it to Friday and see if it's any better, If not explain I don't feel like it's for me and wish to quit. Honestly the thought of being unemployed makes me happy, I'd atleast have some free time (haven't had more than 2 days off since August last year)

This isn't a I don't want to work post, I understand the necessity of work. I just strongly believe this job isn't for me but it's far too early for me to justify it.

I always put on a brave face with things but there have been plenty of times I've cried myself to sleep. I fear this is no different. Mostly had to get that of my chest.
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>> No. 24755 Anonymous
4th April 2017
Tuesday 11:06 pm
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I'll keep at it for the time being, as I said, I knew it was too early to come to a proper conclusion other than it's a sudden change. I just get the impression it's still not for me though.


I knew the job would include some of the work I'm getting thrown at me, I was just expecting it a lot further down the line when I've mastered the basics.
It's a small office, around 7 people depending on if some people are in. It's a property company and whilst I won't be directly selling/leasing them off. I will be taking enquiries, sending invoices etc... The sudden work is basically being a personal assistant to the boss ontop of keeping tabs on so many properties and dealing with them. I've been told to make this, change that etc on things I haven't even been shown.
It might be because it's such a small office that I'll end up being focused on rather than some drone in a cubicle of many that I feel it's not for me.
I know it's strange to actually want to be a faceless employee but all I want to do is blend into the background and leave the work in the office when it's home time. Do my shit then go home, not be relied on.
>> No. 24757 Anonymous
5th April 2017
Wednesday 1:15 pm
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To be fair property is one of the last fields I'd have thought about if you just want a mindless, hassle free 9-5. It's one of those areas that just attracts wannabe yuppie cunts, people who think they get up and go to work in order to make it as opposed to simply pay the bills.

You want an easy going job in administration of some sort, preferably for a local council or the NHS. The pay won't be stellar but if your dream is blending into the furniture and coasting along to retirement, I can't think of anything more suitable.
>> No. 24758 Anonymous
6th April 2017
Thursday 7:11 am
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Gave it a lot of thought, talked it over with my friends and parents and they all agree I should get out of there. Gonna talk with the office manager today and hopefully leave the building 30 minutes after it.

When I applied for the job it was just a basic description of general office work, the usual bullshit and then I would eventually lead on to being an assistant to the big boss once I was fully trained. In the interview this I was told that would be way down the line. Day 2 I was being told by the big boss himself to update the websites (no one showed me how) Redo brochures and make new ones, make layout plans for the sites, answer all calls coming in, look after my own set of tenants and deal with any disputes, email them professionally.

Day 3 I'm expected to tidy up and update the filing system, keep the board next to my desk clear, when I came in it was full of letters and urgent pen marks, I didn't know what the fuck any of it meant but was told it's my responsibility to get things of it, so much for training eh...

They know I have no experience in an office environment and all this is just way over my head, It feels like I'm being drowned. If I had the training I'd be able to do the work, maybe not the work load straight away but atleast I'd know what to do.

The way things are going it's just not going to work. I'm not gonna waste my own time and might as well not waste theirs. I took a gamble and lost. I'm probably gonna go travelling or atleast go on holiday somewhere before I start looking for another job, for my own sanity I need to take a break.

I'll look into that when I get back to looking.

Cheers lads
>> No. 24763 Anonymous
8th April 2017
Saturday 10:22 pm
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This may be too late but I don't think you can claim ESA/JSA for a while if you voluntarily left your job.

Good luck Anon.
>> No. 24764 Anonymous
9th April 2017
Sunday 10:49 am
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Yea I understand that but I'll be going on it (as much as I don't want to) in a week or so anyway. I have enough savings to tide me over for quite a while and my parents don't mind slashing my rent and paying for a few things while I help with some renovation work around the house.

I don't intend to say unemployed for long, I'll pick up at 10 hour or so supermarket job to get some sort of income in and something to put on my CV whilst looking for something full time.

Been in work for the past 5 years (2 years unemployed before that) and always wanted to get made redundant so I had free time to catch up on things and even stare at the ceiling for a day or 2 doing fuck all.
The moment I'm out of work the first thing I want to do is go into another job. I'm guessing its the realisation that I won't be getting paid every month that makes me feel this way, I never spent it all and always sat on it and because of this I hated spending money so the sooner I can get more money in than money out the better for me (well it goes without saying but will help me out mentally too)

>> No. 24266 Anonymous
23rd February 2017
Thursday 10:48 am
24266 Well fuck...
Jesus Christ I am having a fucking hard time at the moment...

My fucking bitch of a girlfriend came round to my place the other day and went mad raging because the laplander in the shop wouldn't let her use her card and made her get cash out instead. So then we went back to what USED to be my place and she continued raging shouting at the top of her voice about the laplander. The fucking thing is my neighbours just so happen to be of that race.

Next thing the fucking landlord comes round and says that there has been a complaint about her and that we need to keep it down. After this we go to the kitchen and start cooking, and some black guy that lives in the next room comes in and he's all like "hey girl" which pissed me off no end. Fucking thing is though, he is massive. So I do my best to defend my position but ended up getting knocked the fuck out and thrown down the stairs. All the while this bitch is standing there loving seeing two blokes argue over her.

Anyway, the landlord came again and fucking evicted me. Then she fucking left me stranded and refused to let me into her place. Since then I have been sleeping rough and I do not have a clue what to do. I've lost my phone, I've developed a huge alcohol problem and I don't even know what to do about any of it. Sorry for repeating myself I'm on a bit of a rant.

Has anyone got any suggestions?
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>> No. 24627 Anonymous
25th March 2017
Saturday 7:24 am
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Y'alright IDS?
>> No. 24629 Anonymous
25th March 2017
Saturday 4:44 pm
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Seriously, what's the problem? I'm going on it soon.
>> No. 24635 Anonymous
26th March 2017
Sunday 12:25 am
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>I stayed at the woman's place and went home last night after a bit of inevitable drama. At least it was at her place and I got a bit of revenge for myself.

Watching you lad.
>> No. 24644 Anonymous
26th March 2017
Sunday 3:01 pm
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Oh you'll find out... Such as not getting paid for a couple months. Payments not turning up at all, or not on time. Payments being incorrect amount. It's been a nightmare for all of my mates that is why I've clung on to my ESA for so bloody long.
>> No. 24762 Anonymous
8th April 2017
Saturday 12:22 pm
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Any updates?

>> No. 24743 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 4:06 pm
24743 Job related woes. Not getting sacked, but now I'd much rather I was
Hallo, got diagnosed with anxiety induced depression a couple of months back, had been suspicious for months before that though. Currently on Venlafaxine, 75mg/day. Had a couple of breakdowns at the bar I work at in January, so management got concerned and we started a dialogue. Sorry, this is quite a long post. It's been a busy week.

A couple of weeks after a progressive chat with the GM about how he could help, one of the managers asked me to replace some old cans with new bottles, and keep the redundant stuff for staff drinks on the weekend, so come the weekend, I took a couple of cans from the cellar when I was stocking, and left them in my hoodie, on top of my bag in the staff room to take up after shift. I didn't confirm with management that this was ok, I took it as assumed since I'd been told. Bad idea, I didn't make it out of the staff room, got called into the office bag searched et al, turns out someone had gone into the staff room and noticed the cans when they were moving my clothes, assumed as theft.

In terms of the disciplinary/investigation, IMO it's all cut and dry, I know the camera could see me taking the cans, and then the cans were in the staff room in my hoodie. It's just a matter of intention, if they think I was trying to take them off the premise then I should be sacked. I didn’t panic after it was clear my stuff had been moved, everything hung up bar my hoodie that was positioned in the corner of the camera-bound staffroom (where it had previously been placed on top of my zippable, padded bag…with all my other stuff. Basically, I thought what I was doing was ok, but if it wasn’t then it should just be a matter of policy and they should just fire me so I know where I am. I just want to get that done and out of the way and the GM insists that we have this meeting, despite everyone having clearly made their decisions (as he admitted today), and you can't intellectualise your way back into someone's trust, so that's fucked.

That incident happened a few hours before I was gonna cross the country via bus for mothers day, and I was feeling too grim to do it so I called my mum on Sunday morning to apologise. She's the kind of mum you'd buy at John Lewis, mental health advocate as well. I was having trouble explaining why I couldn't come down but she started having a go at me so I told her about the diagnosis (I hadn't wanted her to fuss over me) and was met with "I know you have depression but you should just be a man and see me". I knew that she was just angry, so I said I had to go and we smoothed it out a couple of days later, but that really hit me.

Anyway, the Monday following mother's day, I was walking the dog to my girlfriend's house, to meet her and explain the work situation and the mum situation, and I started having a panic attack, so we started arguing because I'd promised I'd come, and now I was just sat on a bench with a dog I now felt incapable of looking after. I texted her the basic outline and how it was affecting me, and she said that before she'd received that she'd been composing a text saying that we should take a break. She's been great during this but it's taking a toll on our relationship, but things are generally ok.

After that I missed the disciplinary meeting. I pulled myself together a few hours afterwards, came in to apologise, was told we couldn't do it without a second manager, so we rescheduled for the next morning. That morning, had an argument with my gf and ended up going foetal and kind of didn’t get out of bed until midnight.

At this point I figured I would be getting sacked, so I just needed to get it over with, went in the next day and apologised, said personal reasons, "Not good enough", explained the facts of what had happened with mum/girlfriend, but avoided talking about how it'd made me feel, hoping I wouldn't have to. I was given a last chance to come in, and we'd rearrange for Monday (today).

I went in today. The witness manager isn't in. He's been called away, so again we can't have the meeting (albeit the 'fault' score is still 2:1 to me). Since I was there, the GM explained that he no longer trusted me as a result of initial circumstances and missed meetings, and whilst the disciplinary would still be carried out and I'd be able to stay working there, it'd be on one shift a week for a while. I said I'd been trying to find day jobs so it might be for the best, as I've had my fill of bar work...but I just felt like collapsing. I was hyperventilating on the walk there, after all their 'final chance, last meeting, be here then', bam, "Sorry mate this guy had to go, tell you what, keep yourself free all day so we can phone, or we might call you tomorrow." Fuck.
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>> No. 24745 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 4:23 pm
24745 And yet more.
I don't like making a big deal out of things, I have convictions, I'm happy to stand up to people if they're trying to injure/insult someone, because it's really easy to tell when you're basically 'in the right' and when someone is being an unambiguous ass, but when it comes to work relationships I have a bit of a complex about bothering people, especially in a high-overturn industry, and a company where getting caught organising a literal theft ring involving managers and staff will get you transferred if the owner likes you, but you get sacked over being late once if the wrong person wants you gone. If I think I can make it through something without having to reveal any details of my personal thoughts or feelings, I'll aim for that, like I don’t know if I’m expect to look the manager in the eye and say "I didn't come in because I was on the verge of topping myself". I have trouble talking about it (stuttering, repetition, trailing off), so I certainly can’t expect him to understand it from me. When I first told management that I’d been diagnosed, they seemed compassionate and open, and the GM put my next week as a holiday, and cut my shifts ostensibly to give me some space and let me relax. I didn't get paid for this holiday. I didn't get paid for it for over a month. So essentially the response was "You had a panic attack? Ok, you're suspended for a week and your shifts are cut." After a week I explained to him that this was the opposite of what I needed, he said he'd give me more hours, so I went from 5-6 shifts, to 2 shifts, to 3 shifts over that month. I mean it's something. But yet again, today in the 'informal meeting', the GM said that sometimes he forgets, sometimes he has no intention of altering hours, but "...you know how it is". I do know how it is, that's why I've been fucking terrified of asking for more shifts and generally talking to management more than once, because I know they heard me the first time and would just rather string me along as much as they can, and if they didn't they're just flaunting ineptitude by saying "Ah yeah, you have to keep pestering us".

I broke my little toe on Christmas day, worked 8 hours on it, had my gf's sister text me from her phone calling me a 'fucking prick' because I said I needed an hour to myself before I called her, phoned in sick the next day because I couldn't carry on limping, had everyone assume I was lying and skiving (got voted 'Pinnochio' at staff awards. Haha), just fuck this fucking place man. I try but if I act normal everyone thinks I'm faking things, and if I give in to it I become a bawling wreck who struggles to leave the house. I mean, I should be able to get enough work to keep me alive, I'm good at what I do and I know my city well, but I've worked for this company on and off for 4 years, have never had a disciplinary, didn't call in sick or take a holiday for my first year, like it's obviously a horrible company and the majority in the industry hate it, and hopefully this will result in a steady day job, but like I have tried right? I think I’ve tried but I never know, I never know if I could give more, and if I could give everything then I wouldn’t be depressed, but if I am depressed then I need to acknowledge my limits, but one can’t be bound by limits…is it ok to think like this? Should I be ashamed of not having the confidence to pressure people to get things done? Everyone seems to think that that’s how things should be done.

I’m not even sure if I’m asking for advice at this point. I obviously can’t stay there after this, I just didn’t know what to do after I left the venue today. It just feels like I’m always going to get fucked around there. I can't face having to go through this morning again.
>> No. 24746 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 5:26 pm
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You could've done with condensing all that. There are a few comments I can make on key points but I'm not sure if I followed your train of thought:

>the GM explained that he no longer trusted me as a result of initial circumstances and missed meetings

Well then you can no longer work there. Simple. You're fired but they don't want to do it direct because it would be a hassle.

This is for the best considering how employees are treated. You may have even needed this kick up the arse and will be much happier at a new place even if its yet more bar work. I mean 4 fucking years doing the same low-end bar job.

As for the women in your life:
>she said that before she'd received that she'd been composing a text saying that we should take a break.

I'm sorry to have to break this to you but its over. Let her go because she feels guilty about doing it with the position you are in right now.

As for your mother she was a dick but then she is only human. She loves you unconditionally but she will be unbearable cunt on occasion. Its what mothers do.
>> No. 24747 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 7:54 pm
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>>24745 Sounds like you're in a job where no one gives a fuck about you. Doing the kind of work that you can find anywhere, all over the world in fact. As the song goes 'why do I give valuable to people who don't care if I live or die'? As for your gf, well people get dumped all the time, they survive, you will too.
>> No. 24748 Anonymous
3rd April 2017
Monday 7:58 pm
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>>24743camera bound staff room? Do you mean the place you go for breaks has cameras in it? Watching your every move when U shed be relaxing? Fuck me, get out of there.

>> No. 24689 Anonymous
30th March 2017
Thursday 9:17 am
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A couple of years ago I came out as gay. I'm in my mid-twenties and it was a massive relief to finally realize and admit something that I've known deep down for a long time, and to be accepted for it.

But I can't stand 99% of the gay people I meet. I can't stand the lesbians who can't go a day without mentioning they're gay, or the people that get super offended over a perceived slight to their gayness, or the super-fags that prance around like fairies and scream bloody murder and homophobia to anyone who looks at them funny. It feels like everyone around me is faking it, or encouraging some sort of identity that doesn't need encouragement. I fucking hate Pride.

I don't understand what there is to be PROUD of. I am a sexual deviant. I'm not hurting anyone, and I'm lucky to live in a time where I'm free to love someone of the opposite sex openly without being thrown in jail or executed. But the fact is I have a sexual deviancy, and although I'm accepting of it, I'm not PROUD of it. I want people to accept this problem of mine with compassion and understanding, but I don't want to traipse along with a bunch of oversexualised attention seekers throwing glitter over themselves and defining their identity by where they like to stick things in bed.

I hate it. I really hate it. It all makes me want to regress back to being straight and unhappy, just so I can be free of this embarrassment and LGTBQ++++ bullshit.

We've come a long, long way from homosexuality being 'the love that dare not speak its name', and more and more I think we should go back
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>> No. 24730 Anonymous
30th March 2017
Thursday 11:35 pm
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Don't feed the troll lads. It was obvious as soon as he started referring to himself as a 'sexual deviant' as though he's dropped right out of a 1950s public health warning.
>> No. 24731 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 2:50 am
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Talking of which, I finally looked up on the internet what that Pleasuredrome place near Waterloo I walk by every morning on the way to work is. Interesting.
>> No. 24738 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 1:45 pm
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I don't think he's a troll. I used to live with a guy who had a strikingly similar outlook to OP, very much a self-loathing gay. It was quite sad.
>> No. 24741 Anonymous
1st April 2017
Saturday 9:45 pm
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If anything he sounds like the halfway house you get when you cross the deep seated, internalised self-hating gay of the homophobic 1950s with today's largely liberal acceptance of the LGBT community. He's still in the closet - but not wanting to kill himself because of it - however he does intensely resent anyone who's managed to do what he can't and be glad they've left the closet. Interesting one.
>> No. 24742 Anonymous
2nd April 2017
Sunday 9:34 am
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Why should that be self-loathing? If there was a heterosexual pride day where all the big burly men went around showing off their muscles and attention seeking over how masculine and hetero they were, I think I'd hate them. I don't need to just imagine either, they exist, they're what Americans call "bros". Everyone hates them.
The whole "limp-wristed fairy" persona is important in the history of homosexuals struggling for acceptance but it is absolutely an affectation and there's no reason why someone can't legitimately find it off-putting without it being a symptom of repressed self-hatred for internet amateur psychologists to diagnose.

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>> No. 24631 Anonymous
25th March 2017
Saturday 10:38 pm
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Getting circumcised soon at the age of 35 due to gammy foreskin.

Is it gonna be bad? Will I wake up screaming when I get a hard-on?
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>> No. 24733 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 11:25 am
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I've heard that the pains doubles every day for the first 5 days so that's 3 * (2 ^ 5) = 96, on a scale of 1-10.
>> No. 24734 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 12:01 pm
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>Mods probably won't let me post my cock

The trick is to post your cock followed by 5 further posts immediately afterwards so it's off the front page before they notice.

When I had my vasectomy done the first few days weren't so bad but around the fourth day, when the painkillers weren't as effective and my bollocks had swollen up, the pain was a nightmare.
>> No. 24736 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 12:15 pm
24736 ME = OP

I'm planning to have a vasectomy soon as well. I heard it feels like you've been kicked in the balls for a couple of weeks.
>> No. 24737 Anonymous
31st March 2017
Friday 12:41 pm
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I feel like you're working up the nerve to castrate yourself, doing it one bit at a time.
>> No. 24740 Anonymous
1st April 2017
Saturday 3:38 pm
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I thought that too - I worry that this is some sort of genital mutilation thread.

>> No. 24560 Anonymous
20th March 2017
Monday 8:47 am
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What do women think of men who aren't very sexually experienced?

I'm in my mid 30s and I've only ever had sex with one girl back when I was 14. Although I'm pretty good looking and women do give me signs of interest I've suffered social anxiety all my life and haven't been able to take things any further with them. Lately I've been making more of an effort to become social and I think I should be able to get a bird. Should I tell them I'm not very experienced or just go for it? I'm sure any woman will notice how inexperienced I am anyway. Will most women find it cute or sad?
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>> No. 24623 Anonymous
24th March 2017
Friday 1:54 pm
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What you're saying with this graph is that even at the best of pre-industrial times, people aged 70 made up only about a quarter of the population. That isn't very high. And at least past age 75, your life expectancy dropped off quite steeply, whereas nowadays apparently a whole third of the population in developed countries, e.g. the U.S., live to be 85.

And that at least partially corroborates my point that it was somewhat rare for people to live to age 70 or over in those days. Also, this graph doesn't say whether it refers to prehistoric or current hunter-gatherer cultures. And what about people who aren't or weren't part of any of these groups?
>> No. 24624 Anonymous
24th March 2017
Friday 5:30 pm
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The graph shows how common each age of death is different societies. The most common age of death in modern hunter-gatherer societies is about 70 and was it presumably similar in recent prehistoric societies.
>> No. 24625 Anonymous
24th March 2017
Friday 5:38 pm
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It may have been the most common age of death in relative terms; in absolute terms, though, only one in five to one in four people lived to age 70 or 75, while one in three people in the U.S. in 2002 lived over a decade longer than that.

I stand by my argument.
>> No. 24628 Anonymous
25th March 2017
Saturday 2:31 pm
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I never thought this thread would've ended up here but I'm not surprised either. Never change, gs.
>> No. 24630 Anonymous
25th March 2017
Saturday 8:38 pm
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When did a thread ever not end in a cunt off, or a vulgar display of geekery.

>> No. 24605 Anonymous
23rd March 2017
Thursday 9:26 pm
24605 Old People Problems
My old Nan and Granddad used to live together, and barely went anywhere or had a social life. Then two years ago he died, and now she barely goes anywhere or has a social life. This is a problem now though because she is on her own so she is lonely and depressed.

How do I get her to get outside her comfort zone and go find some social interactions? I think she is scared and set in her ways and depressed and so can't be bothered, and I understand that because I have been there before - but I can't tell her to get a job or join a sports club like I did.

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>> No. 24606 Anonymous
23rd March 2017
Thursday 9:46 pm
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You need to to take her to things yourself.
Find some local group she would like and go with her.
>> No. 24607 Anonymous
23rd March 2017
Thursday 10:14 pm
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Have you considered this from Age UK? It's basically staffed by volunteers and somebody will go and spend time with her once a week or so to give her a bit of company.


Sorry to hear about that though.
>> No. 24608 Anonymous
23rd March 2017
Thursday 10:35 pm
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A befriending service might be a good option. It's also worth looking into day centres, luncheon clubs and similar activities. If she's still in good physical and/or mental condition, she might enjoy the U3A. They're a co-operative group run by and for older people who want to keep active.


If you have the time to spare, it might help to take her out on a few jaunts, just to get her into the habit of going out.

It's worth bearing in mind that post-bereavement depression is still depression - if you can convince her to see her GP, it could be a real help. Older people often have a very outdated view of mental health and don't realise that there's help available.
>> No. 24614 Anonymous
24th March 2017
Friday 9:11 am
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See, when I'm ninety I'll be able to emulate Mass Effect on my phone and my dementia will make it like a whole new experience every time.

>> No. 24533 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 10:39 pm
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What do you live for?

I'm going back to uni to study as an adult but I fear I might get hit by the same problems I had the first time I tried this; I'm bad at socialising and doing anything feels a bit empty when you don't have anyone to really share it with. I'm quiet, conversation is difficult for me, my anxiety issues keep cropping up unexpectedly and I'm conspicuously different to most people in the area I live, which won't change when I move as they're also in different bits of the UK.

Even thinking about the most basic potential goal in life - having children - gives me a feeling of otherness, like I'm missing a fundamental understanding of social interaction. I just haven't made the sort of connections with people where I could imagine something like that happening and I'm nearly 30 now.

I don't know. The only thing I've learnt in the past few years is how to work when I'm deeply unhappy, I can't see much of a reward at the end of it all though. All I really know I want for my old age is someone to be with, working on my career to get money is just a necessity to make the other bits less stressful. At least I have that motivation right now.
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>> No. 24536 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 12:04 am
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I already do pot, but I get very quiet on it. So much better than alcohol for de-stressing though.
>> No. 24537 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 12:09 am
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Eh, you'll do fine. Just blaze with your housemates if you can and remember that once a month you have to write a 2000 word essay.
>> No. 24544 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 1:09 pm
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>I already do pot

Well we've found your problem I think. You get quiet and shy on the stuff, and if you smoke regularly it will be affecting you sober too. Weed does not mix well with an anxious, artist personality type.

Weed is a nice drug I know, but if you're that kind of person you have to be careful with it. I had this realisation myself a couple of years back and honestly, since I stopped getting stoned every night I've been much, much more sociable.

And for heaven's sake don't call it "pot", you're not on Saved By The Bell.
>> No. 24545 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 3:41 pm
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I went to university at 30 after a protracted period of mental illness, alcoholism and homelessness. I was absolutely terrified for the first week or so, but things very quickly clicked into place.

I went in feeling really intimidated by these vaunted halls of learning, but quickly developed the confidence of being one of the few adults in the room. I felt out of place, but in an entirely healthy way. Half of these kids didn't know how to use a washing machine. Some of them had never bought a drink in a pub. They were all infinitely more scared than I was and they weren't good at hiding it. I figured that if these spotty gobshites could do it, it'd be an absolute piece of piss. I was right.

On the social side of things, I think you'll find it surprisingly easy, even if you're quite anxious and awkward. Everyone there feels out of their element to some extent; you have the advantage of a decade of life experience. The mature students on your course will chum up with you quite readily, because you're almost guaranteed to be less annoying than the kids with floppy hair, self-invented nicknames and tedious gap yah stories.

Turn up at the freshers fair, pick out half a dozen societies that seem vaguely interesting and you'll have a packed social schedule by the end of your first week. Pick at least one thing that's totally unfamiliar and out of character - salsa dancing or paragliding can be a remarkably effective treatment for social anxiety. You've learned to play the role of a shy person, but you can unlearn that role by doing things that are out of character.

As >>24544 says, knock the weed on the head. It's not good for your mental health in the long run. See your GP about your anxiety and sign up for counselling when you get to university. Most of all, don't get hung up on the idea of being different. Try to embrace the fact that you're a unique human being with a unique set of life experiences. You don't have to be like everyone else to be happy; judging by the state of society, the opposite might be true.
>> No. 24551 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 9:13 pm
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Maybe you are really just a bit underdeveloped regarding your mastery of social interaction, OP. Some people are, and although they would like for themselves to be more like everybody else, they can't see how to accomplish it.

There are (group therapy) classes for/against social anxiety. Where you basically develop skills of casually interacting with other people in everyday situations while learning to dial down your anxieties. That might be worth looking into. Some of those classes even teach you how to pull birds successfully approach members of the opposite sex.

I was going to start my post with a suspicion that you may be on the autism spectrum and might have Asperger's in particular, but I didn't want to piss you off scare you off right out the gate. That's another thing you could consider. Because there are also many ways to overcome a lot of the limitations that Asperger's poses on your ability for social interaction.

>> No. 24546 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 10:57 pm
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I'm graduating this year and I can't find anywhere to live

house prices are ridiculous, I can't work a minimum wage job and afford to live while paying £500-£600 a month for a flat. most landlords don't take housing benefit. I just got broken up with, so no partner to live with. all my friends are stoners and drug addicts that I don't want to shack up with. I can't go back to my parents home because I don't have one.

All I want is a shitty fucking bedsit somewhere near a shitty job, and even that looks unattainable

what should I do? kill myself?
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>> No. 24547 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 11:01 pm
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>> No. 24548 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 12:19 am
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£500-600 per month for a flat? Fuck me I'd kill to get a place of my own for that cheap.

Otherlad is right, house shares are your best bet. Worth looking up facebook groups for house shares in your area too.
>> No. 24549 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 12:38 am
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>> No. 24550 Anonymous
18th March 2017
Saturday 12:59 am
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>House shares are your best bet.

I'm amazed this isn't even the first option. I earn 24k a year and I never ever considered getting a place of my own, let alone on minimum wage. I pay £450 a month all bills included in southern England (outside of London but within 10 miles of it) and think it's perfectly reasonable. To maintain a whole house on my level of responsibilty would be laughable.

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>> No. 24427 Anonymous
12th March 2017
Sunday 8:08 am
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How to acquire gf when 35, still live with mum, no job, no social circle, suffer anxiety but good-looking, big willy, intelligent and sexy?
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>> No. 24515 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 1:23 am
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Eh, i'm in the process of moving back in with my mom. I just need to get out of flat I'm currently in because its making me ill. I've said the move will be a stepping stone to elsewhere but the time frame is 6 months to a year and I'm already regretting it.
>> No. 24531 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 7:43 pm
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I moved back in with my parents 6 months ago, and I am having trouble finding the motivation to move back out. Its comfortable here, and really cheap, I get on with my parents and younger sister, and everything is predictable and easy.
>> No. 24535 Anonymous
16th March 2017
Thursday 11:59 pm
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Congratulations, you've discovered why the traditional European family structure is superior to the pervasive and insular American "every man for himself" family ideology.
>> No. 24538 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 12:42 am
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What? Who the fuck gets on with their parents and siblings as an adult apart from this freak? We'd drive each other mad if I moved back in.
>> No. 24539 Anonymous
17th March 2017
Friday 2:16 am
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I remember being called a "teenlad" or something akin to that for moaning about how little I like my parents on here a few months back. I was just in a surly mood, but I still mulled over the conversation. Anyway, the conclusion I came to is that part of growing up is realising that your parents are just human beings, and that they are potentially as awful or as ace as any other human beings. One thing you do have to remember is that unless they're total scoundrels they still raised you, probably as well as they could. Shit, if you're a thirty-five year old loon who brags on his dick to strange men on the internet, they might still be raising you. What I'm getting at is, that for the last five months or so it's been my life long ambition to get rich enough to own a massive house to look after my one-day elderly parents in, and they broke up when I was seven, so it's going to have to be seriously massive.

Do you get me, man?

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