|>>|| No. 30830
We've been together years. When we first met, I feel like she misled me. She acted like she was really sex positive alongside our well matched personalities, and despite some obvious flags, like every idiot writing these things on the internet, I chose to ignore them.
We've become quite embedded as a couple, but she just isn't there sexually.She finds me hilarious, attractive (or so she says), and even orgasms every time we have sex. We cook together, go on holiday together, all the works. Sure we will have sex every week or so, but she'll never initiate it, she's quite frankly terrible at it and I never really feel she's all that interested. If we stopped having sex tomorrow I feel she wouldn't care. I have raised how mechanical and boring it feels and she blames it on me, despite being the only girl I've ever had this weird mechanic, motion grinding situation with.
I tried to talk to her about it a few months back, calmly, rationally and politely and she absolutely lost her shit. I just said I didn't feel sexually satisfied and found it frustrating. I mean really flipped her shit btw. Burst into tears just left in the middle of the night and walked around and didn't come back for hours. She said I was cold emotionally with her and didn't deserve rewards such as oral (another flag, hopefully she'd see sex as mutually enjoyable and not a reward system) because I wasn't as nice as I could be. She said in her old relationship she rarely had sex because she didn't find him attractive, but seems to think the absolute meagre offeirng we have is some sort of good thing.
Anyway a few months later, I've done my best for my part of the bargain but it's not picking up and it's fucking frustrating. It's like scheduling in a meeting at work. The other day, we were primed for it, 30 mins window, both hot and heavy and flirting and in various states of undress and then...nothing. She didn't think we had time, she didn't want me to get messy before meetings, the list goes on.
I quite frankly think I'm done, but I'm in London and I can't decide if it's worse being trapped in a sub par sexual relationship or going back to living with scruffy, man child like housemates. I really like my flat, I really like my current set up and if I could afford it alone I feel my choice would be an obvious one.
It worries me that in my 20s if I'm having these problems with her, it'd only get worse going on and I feel the only reason I won't pull the trigger is because I feel trapped by housing etc. I think I'm relatively desirable, women have and do hit on me and I've turned many down in this relationship because I care about her. She's beautiful, but it feels pointless because it's about as spontaneous and sexy as houseplants, it's not.
Has anybody any advice on what to do?
>Inb4 move out of London - for a myriad of reasons that isn't really an option for now.