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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 28749 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 9:18 am
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Due to mild obsessive-compulsive disorder, I am constantly plagued with odd sentence fragments, like a song stuck in your head. For the past few weeks, the words "cum dungeon" have popped into my mind several hundred times per day; they are slowly being replaced by "wreck my shitter".

>> No. 28753 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 12:27 pm
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Does anyone want to be my second referee on a volunteering application? Or send me fifteen pounds, please. Or what's a good way to work up enough of a head of steam to top yourself?

Okay, get back soon, bye!
>> No. 28754 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 12:39 pm
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If you don't want the horrible joyless casual sex, I'll take some.
>> No. 28755 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 1:36 pm
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>> No. 28757 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 2:58 am
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Anyone else remember when the arctic monkeys were cool? No, just me? Ok. But way back then Alex Turner wrote a pretty good lyric: "how can you wake up with someone you don't love and not feel slightly fazed by it?". It pretty much sums up how I've started to feel about waking up mid afternoon next to the third stranger I've had unprotected sex with that week: fazed as fuck.

When I was in my twenties it felt like a vainglorious conquest, these days it just feels like the only thing that's been conquered is something that used to live inside me and is long gone.

It's a fucker when the first person you've actually related to and invested emotionally in heavily for the first time in five years turns out to be even more mental than you and fucks you off on a bizarre whim because her psychologist told her she was making your life hard like you're some kind of child who can't make his own decisions. Honestly everything feels so fucking futile right now I'm finding it extremely hard to express, or even relate to anything emotional except looping the same song for hours on end.

Not even sex distracts you from that. Maybe it's time to cash in my pension plan and finally get into heroin.

"Glass of petrol, vodka, gin, it feels like breathing methane / throw yourself from skin to skin and still it doesn't dull the pain."

>> No. 28678 Anonymous
27th June 2019
Thursday 10:38 pm
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I seem to have removed myself completely from my original social background. I come from Shithole Post-industrial Town, UK, where my mum and dad continue to work unhappily. I've run the full gamut of postgraduate degrees and well paid corporate jobs. I've now secured a medical research job abroad.

I guess the effect was predictable enough in hindsight, but I realised recently that I now spend all of my time rubbing shoulders with academics, doctors, lawyers, engineers. And it's not just what they do, either. Their parents are always academics, doctors, lawyers, engineers.

It also goes beyond work. The girls I date, the friends I make at university, the people at my job, they're all thoroughly middle class. I don't think anyone realises how keenly I feel the differences, how painful it can be to notice them, or how much extra effort I've had to put in just to get here.

It's frustrating because it comes up in constantly, sometimes in really tangible ways (they'll always have savings accounts well built from their childhoods, will always have the money to go on expensive trips and eat out, they are not stressing about their next rent payment even when they're short) and sometimes more subtlely (social cues, general levels of comfort, confidence, and optimism, acceptance of status quo worldviews).

People back home don't care to understand what I do or why I moved. At the same time, even my most intimate friends here look at me as though I'm from a different planet when I talk about my life experiences.

I feel like I've achieved everything I wanted but I have no one to truly share it with.
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>> No. 28745 Anonymous
10th July 2019
Wednesday 10:48 pm
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I'm not complaining at all, I'm using it solely in retort to someone accusing me of not understanding because their pain and sadness is greater than mine. I really don't care how you feel about it or 'get' it because it doesn't matter. What I care about is the wallowing OP et al. about how people can't get them, when there is really no need to.


People who actually don't resent people don't feel like saying "your dad was a fucking orthopedic surgeon". You clearly do resent her, it is kind of like the way no one who isn't a racist saw the harm in Danny Bakers royal baby tweet your thought pattern betrays you in that that even occurs to you to matter. You have arrested development, either realize it doesn't matter and move past it and adapt to your new culture, or stop dating uptown girls and go back to your industrial town and have a honest sneer.
>> No. 28748 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 5:45 am
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>You have arrested development, either realize it doesn't matter and move past it and adapt to your new culture, or stop dating uptown girls and go back to your industrial town and have a honest sneer.

This is a false dichotomy. It's going to matter because it's a part of me -- you're telling me that my choices are either to never bring it up or go back to my hole and 'sneer' about it. Is it not possible to talk about the first twenty-odd years of my life without making others uncomfortable?

>People who actually don't resent people don't feel like saying "your dad was a fucking orthopedic surgeon".

This is /emo/ and I was venting. I'd never actually say this to her, because I know it would come across that way. What I'm expressing here is that I want her to acknowledge that her life experiences aren't like mine, that there is a world of shit that is invisible to her because she had protections; not that she should feel bad for having a bit of cash and a stable upbringing, and definitely not that it somehow lessens her achievements. Just getting her to acknowledge other life experiences exist would be a start.


Again, I know having a dad with a decently prestigious professional job doesn't make you 'landed gentry' or a member of the elite. It doesn't fully protect your kid from bullying, or a relative getting cancer, or you getting sick, or any of life's other general hardships. It's just that all of those things can and do happen to people who have fuck all, too -- and it's more likely to bring about additional difficulties for that reason.

And again, to repeat myself, I don't want a pity party about how hard I've had it up until now. I just don't like feeling alienated and alone as a result of my success.
>> No. 28750 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 9:34 am
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You seem to really, really want to talk to people about your formative years. That's not very middle class. It's done, survived it. Got buggered senseless at Gordonstoun or one of the minors, played a bit of rugby. Here we are.
It's possible the reason that people seem uncomfortable talking about it is that they'd be slightly uncomfortable with anyone, and your non-pattern-fitting tale is only adding 10% or so.
>> No. 28751 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 11:06 am
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>This is /emo/ and I was venting. I'd never actually say this to her, because I know it would come across that way.

But that's exactly the point it occurred to you. If someone pisses me off I don't immediately think "bloody laplander/coon/chink/white people" because I don't consider race a defining factor, but to you, the job of the person who spunked inside the person who crapped you out is a defining factor. Whether you suppress it or not, you have the thought pattern of a class snob.

>This is a false dichotomy

Well lets look at your options
1. get someone to understand the pain and sadness they have no frame of reference of.
2. stop treating it as something you need.
3. find someone who satisfies that need.

You've tried nothing but 1, and it hasn't worked, your options are to accept that (2) or find someone who treats you how you want to be treated (3) or to keep doing 1 even though it hasn't done anything so far, and will probably damage the relationship.

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>> No. 28752 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 11:45 am
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>>28748 I just don't like feeling alienated and alone as a result of my success.

Ah, hang on. You're feeling all middle class, alienated and alone?

Not sure what you were expecting, but reforming the entire middle class into an over-sharing episode of Are Jezza might take a while. No fucker talks to anyone except when so hogwhimperingly drunk that it'll be forgotten in the morning.

>> No. 28694 Anonymous
3rd July 2019
Wednesday 10:26 pm
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My girlfriend is deep in a manic depressive episode and has come to the conclusion that she should end her life in the near future once she has 'a few things in place'. I think mainly financial and childcare type things as she has a child in primary school. There have been ups and downs before but in the past she was adamant that no matter how bad it got she would never consider suicide.

She is still sending me messages but has made it quite clear that we probably shouldn't be together anymore - 'find someone better than me etc.'

She has struggled for a while and is under a crisis team but won't reach out to them and is also refusing to take her meds. I think she has only told me about her intentions so far.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I've been there and talked her out of dark times before, but this seems pretty final.

I've kept this to myself for the last day or so because we're still communicating and it's something at least. I know the first name of her nurse in the crisis team and also can get in touch with a relative she is close to if need be. I think it would cause a lot of pain to her and her family if they knew.
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>> No. 28696 Anonymous
3rd July 2019
Wednesday 10:29 pm
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> I think it would cause a lot of pain to her and her family if they knew.

Apologies for being blunt, but it'll cause exponentially more pain if she kills herself. Get in touch with these people as soon as you can.
>> No. 28697 Anonymous
3rd July 2019
Wednesday 10:39 pm
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I know and I'm leaning towards this. I guess I'm just hoping there's a more delicate way forward.
>> No. 28698 Anonymous
3rd July 2019
Wednesday 11:08 pm
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It's reasonable to hope there's a more discreet path to take, but ultimately, somebody who is suicidal isn't in their right mind and they are unpredictable. It will cause alarm and she'll be pissed off, especially at you if she knows it was you, but they need to know, someone in this state of mind needs people in physical proximity who can support them and stop them doing anything daft.

I had a mate top himself earlier on this year. He had two kids with an awful bitch of an ex who was half the cause of it; but after all has been said and done it's those kids who will grow up without a dad who will suffer the most. He attempted it a couple of times before he succeeded, and we thought he'd come through the worst of it when it happened. The trouble is you can't take your eye off someone for two minutes in case they decide to string themselves up; never mind when their closest friends live a substantial distance away and couldn't reasonably be there for them if they wanted to.

You might think it would do more harm than good to get her family involved, but if she goes ahead and does it anyway you'll forever regret not doing something.
>> No. 28699 Anonymous
3rd July 2019
Wednesday 11:54 pm
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She has a medical problem and needs treatment. The nature of that medical problem means that she's unlikely to seek treatment of her own volition right now. Making sure she gets treatment is the moral equivalent of giving CPR to someone who has just gone into cardiac arrest - it's not technically consensual, but it could save their life and it's your duty to do so.

Contact the crisis team and let them know that she's off her meds and is actively suicidal. If you get a message that really worries you or the messages stop abruptly, call 999 and ask for an ambulance. She might not thank you for it right now, but doing nothing might play on your conscience for the rest of your life.
>> No. 28700 Anonymous
4th July 2019
Thursday 1:20 pm
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Well, I've called up the crisis team. It seems like they'll follow up with her but due to data protection and whatnot I have no further involvement. The lady on the phone was almost nonchalant asking whether it was self-harm or suivide she was threatening and how soon she might do it. Quite surreal, really.

I've also told her cousin and sent a few screenshots of messages. She's fucking fuming at me now.

I'm worried that she will lie and be deceptive when dealing with the people I've told.

>> No. 28675 Anonymous
23rd June 2019
Sunday 1:49 pm
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I keep running up against a wall in my relationships with others, romantic and platonic, and a recent talk with my girlfriend made this clear.

In short: I internalised the fact that I am very much alone in the world from a very young age. A degree of emotional independence might be healthy, but I take it much too far. I struggle with the idea that anyone really has my back or wants to (or even can) support me. I have a lot of confidence in myself, not so much in others.

I could examine every little reason for and aspect of that, but I don't feel like I need to. I think it's a typical story: boy in a shite industrial town, hard-working but depressed parents. Lots of toxic relationships and traumatic experiences. Didn't or couldn't have much faith in the adults around me. Truthfully, for a long time I did not have anyone, so handled it by keeping things to myself. I'm sure this can be pathologised as avoidant personality or disordered attachment or whatever label you like, but that kind of analysis doesn't really interest me much.

The other side of the coin is that I'm also pretty bright, emotionally expressive, and sociable. I have a lot of interests and have mixed with many kinds of people. I like talking to and sharing life with others. I have built a very good life for myself in another location and am loving meeting people here.

The result is that I have a lot of friends and enjoy the companionship, but as soon as something rubs me the wrong way or I feel that people are no longer an "ally", the switch flips and I quite literally feel nothing for them but a very cold sense of distance. The best way I can describe it is anger, but viewed through a telescope.

I sometimes feel as though the same sensitivity and awareness that makes me so good at gabbing and becoming close with people is the exact same sensitivity which will put me on high alert if anyone indicates they might hurt me or let me down.

This understandably upsets and confuses people, especially girls I've become involved with. I really hate this. I hate hurting others. And to be quite honest, it doesn't seem fair to open up and unleash my "issues" on people, even if they want to know and help. Treating friends and partners like therapists is rarely a good idea.

I want to handle this responsibly. I don't see any romance in "damaged but charming" or any other stereotypee. Money is a bit tight for proper therapy right now, and I've found most therapists woefully inept in dealing with young men in particular. I know at least one of you will suggest CBT, and I won't reject it out of hand but it seems like an extremely dry and mechanical process. I have my reservations about it. So, what do I do?
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>> No. 28676 Anonymous
23rd June 2019
Sunday 2:47 pm
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I'm going through something very similar. I think the only way you get over that wall is by making yourself vulnerable.

>And to be quite honest, it doesn't seem fair to open up and unleash my "issues" on people, even if they want to know and help.

Your friends are there for you to open up to and it's a little rude to keep people away like that.

>Treating friends and partners like therapists is rarely a good idea.

Asking friends to pick up some milk once in a while is fine, but expecting them to do your grocery shop week in, week out is rude. It's the same with talking about issues, friends do want to help and be helped.

I made the mistake of thinking that any opening up (or vulnerability) was wrong (that I shouldn't put my problems on other people, etc.). But, I greatly underestimated my own emotional intelligence.

I don't think you need therapy and I don't really see what it'd achieve. I think you just need to work on making yourself a bit more vulnerable here and there.
>> No. 28677 Anonymous
23rd June 2019
Sunday 4:18 pm
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You might want to read up on attachment theory.


>> No. 27801 Anonymous
29th November 2018
Thursday 6:15 pm
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I met a girl on holiday and we clicked earlier this year, I think she is great and we had lots of great sex (exactly the kind I'm into).

We kept in touch and she discussed coming here to see me, even though she lives across the world and wants to carry this on until one of us can make a move to be with the other in a few short years. We skype and message all day every day but obviously the distance is a bit bonkers.

Meanwhile I also met another girl at work who is great but is very boring at the old sex, likes me to slowly grind into her and doesn't like oral sex, anal or anything beyond really vanilla stuff.

Both are attractive, both are lovely, both are really interested, girl from work is probably slightly more conventionally attractive. More importantly, she is also here with me and available now.

What do I do? Do I take the easy route and take the girl who si attractive and be grateful because she's here and there's a realistically good relationship there or do I try and get something to work with the person who is closer to my soulmate but lives across the world and I would somehow only see once or twice a year for the next few years at least whilst we work something out?

Help lads, decision needs to be made soon.

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>> No. 28668 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 7:57 pm
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Lads - I come with an overdue update. I probably also need a sense check. Vitriol, disappointment or even just some pat on the back and a 'you made your bed' would be nice, even appreciated.

I took the cowards option by the way. I am heartless, I lack courage and I went with both. I'm disappointed in myself and sometimes feel a rush of guilt to the head, but then it subsides. I let the girl come and see me from holiday and manufactured some distance between me and the girl here so we didn't see each other that much.

Holiday girl came to visit, we hung out, it was a great fun and when holiday girl went to see friends elsewhere in the country, I would drop by with other girl to say hello and that was it.

Holiday girl went home, I had one very close shave where they caught wind of each other but I managed to diffuse it.

I carried on speaking and hanging out with both, one in person, one over the internet when she returned and acted like nothing was up.

Now is the time again for holiday girl to visit if we are realistically likely to keep this going. She is still, and always will be my ideal, but again I am no closer to being with her in any consistent capacity in person, although we vaguely talk about making a move to where she is.

The other girl can't understand my reluctance to make substantial plans, but she's lovely, getting better to be around and is actually nice.

I have to bin one off, commit to a plan with one this week, if I say no to holiday girl visiting it's over, if I say yes, I obviously have to say goodbye to the girl here. They both have unending patience for my sometimes Jekyll and Hyde attitude to life and them which comes from me having to balance them both. I can't pull off another visit without the other clocking on something is up. Time is up, the decision has to come.
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>> No. 28669 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 8:36 pm
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b) - but don't out with the non-holiday girl, you wouldn't be sniffing around holiday girl if you liked her enough, and compromising on that will rapidly breed resentment and what-if-onlys.
>> No. 28670 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 8:42 pm
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So you're saying sack them both off and be alone? I may as well take the chance with one of em.
>> No. 28671 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 8:42 pm
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Definitely B), career before fanny until you're at least 35. Unless you can find a good job opportunity wherever holiday girl lives? Then you get your cake and eat it.

But like the other chap says, you'll likely only ever see non-holiday as a compromise and that'll fizzle out anyway.

You sound young enough (and indecisive enough) that you'll have forgotten both of these girls in a handful of years. Please don't chuck anything away for either of them.
>> No. 28672 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 10:32 pm
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That's exactly what I'm saying. Secretly you don't like either of them, otherwise you wouldn't be having such a quandary over it all.

When you find someone you really like, trust me, you'll know. Career is more important.

>> No. 28619 Anonymous
13th June 2019
Thursday 7:02 pm
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I've been at university as an undergrad for way too long. During that time I've changed course, and repeated various years multiple times. Uni have been very supportive, offering me multiple chances to try again and again, but my mental health has been rapidly deteriorating over this period. I'm on my final chance at taking this year, and I have so much outstanding work they're unlikely to let me do the work over summer. My mental illness is pretty crippling, rendering me unable to do anything, let alone academic work. So in a week's time, I'm likely to be told my time is up.

How do people come to terms with failing uni? Going in there was so much pressure put on me, I was the first of my family to go to uni, I was going to get a good degree and have a £50k salary. But it looks like I'm not going to live up to my family's expectations. I'm in the process of applying for jobs and benefits, the Jobcentre have been surprisingly helpful. I feel I'm maybe not cut out for uni, at least while I battle my demons, but it's hard to come to terms with the fact that I'll forever be known to my loved ones as the child that failed uni. The only thing I was good at growing up was academia, but I don't even have that anymore. I feel like I've completely lost my identity.
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>> No. 28623 Anonymous
13th June 2019
Thursday 11:21 pm
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>How do people come to terms with failing uni?

I failed my Masters and had a similar experience of losing my identity as an academic. Don't worry, soon as you get a career you will have that label to live within and nobody will give a shit about school.

Obviously remember that leaving uni won't magic away your problems though. One of my uni mates dropped out of his undergraduate degree, fell into a decent job in banking but that slipped through his fingers because he still had the same issues.

>I am now a civil servant, earning shitty wages

There's no need to repeat yourself.
>> No. 28624 Anonymous
13th June 2019
Thursday 11:41 pm
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>There's no need to repeat yourself.
I thought that too until I met cunts who don't know how to use a computer and are senior, earn ridiculous amounts with a very fat pensions and redundancy packages...
>> No. 28651 Anonymous
15th June 2019
Saturday 5:20 pm
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I'm in my mid 30s. The only one of my mates making reliably over £30k dropped out of uni and has plodded his way up the ladder as an accountant.

Failing uni feels huge when you're in the midst of it, but it's nothing like as big a deal to anyone else as it is to you.
>> No. 28656 Anonymous
15th June 2019
Saturday 6:54 pm
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>There's no need to repeat yourself.

My mate's a civil servant and he's on 80k a year.
>> No. 28667 Anonymous
16th June 2019
Sunday 11:55 am
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>The only one of my mates making reliably over £30k dropped out of uni and has plodded his way up the ladder as an accountant.

I'm 30 and I'm the only one of my mates from school/college earning over £30k, possibly even £25k. I do have a degree but I ended up taking an entry level admin job on £12k and working my way up, doing industry qualifications (which are far more valuable than my degree) as I went.

I guess it's all relative. My parents never earned much more than £20k (I think my Dad peaked somewhere around £22k, my Mum a bit less) and we were better off than most of my friends so, when I was growing up, I saw earning more than £20k as 'making it' whereas some people would have gone to university with six-figure starting salaries in mind.

>> No. 28595 Anonymous
1st June 2019
Saturday 12:18 pm
28595 Long Term Mental Illness
I'm trying to sort out my thoughts before going to the doctors. I want to find the core problems that keep cropping up for me.
My mental health has never been good (in school it was absolutely terrible) but these days I have enough coping mechanisms that I can make myself feel good enough when I need to. Which I think masks the problems I do have, until I get to a crisis point where I'll suddenly be hit with some clarity. But all it takes after that is the smallest bit of optimism to completely erase what I'd been trying to figure out about my problems, I just can't think of myself as being sick when a lot of people clearly have it worse.

One of the core components is talking to people.
I am ok with it now but it leaves me with a lot of unease, even with people I'd like to consider friends. I think this is quite visible, as people do seem quite reluctant to engage with me. I try to mask my issues as much as possible, and I try to be friendly, but I struggle a lot with banter so I think I seem a bit cold.
It also leaves me quite open to more immature colleagues to target me and make me feel like shit. It's a problem in most jobs just because I constantly feel drained in typical minimum wage, highly social workplaces.
Another thing is a lot of the time in situations I do talk to people I feel a bit of a headrush of a sort. I think due to stress.
And aside from anything else I stumble over my words frequently.

I think I've been coping with this poorly. It's difficult for me to figure out my plans for the future because I always have this specter of social ineptitude over my shoulders (would I even be able to get hired? Will I fit in to any company?), and it saps my motivation. I've been trying hard to improve but it's so insidious I feel like I can't get rid of it.
At least I'm lucky to have finally found a girlfriend that cares about me, she suffers a lot of the same but has had it managed better since high school, so she keeps my hopes up.
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>> No. 28596 Anonymous
1st June 2019
Saturday 1:22 pm
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By the sounds of it, you're a bit socially anxious and a bit lacking in confidence. I'm not sure to what extent you're actually clinically ill, rather than just struggling to find your feet.

It might be useful if you can complete these questionnaires and post your scores, as it'll give us a better idea of your problems and their severity.




This comment >>27190 gives a fairly good overview of what your treatment options are for generalised anxiety.
>> No. 28597 Anonymous
1st June 2019
Saturday 3:32 pm
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The social anxiety result has given me 'marked social anxiety' in every attempt, and I usually score a little in the depression test.

It's just been ongoing for so many years that it's seriously diminished my life quality by now - I'm still 'finding my feet' and I'm nearly 30.
I'm such a disorganised mess too, chronically indecisive to the point it causes me difficulty oranising myself day to day, planning things, completing things. I think I need to start looking at meds to help me out.
>> No. 28598 Anonymous
1st June 2019
Saturday 6:46 pm
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Could be social anxiety, could also be autism (they go hand in hand)? You sound very similar to me, struggling with banter to the extent of coming across as cold/aloof/rude. I struggled with that all my life, and it wasn't until I had a breakdown when I was 19 that I got diagnosed as a sperg (and it's taken 7 years from that point to actually get specialist support for my condition which isn't great).

Might be worth going to your GP and seeing if they can put you on mirtazapine or something to help with the mental health and anxiety.

>> No. 28562 Anonymous
27th May 2019
Monday 2:59 pm
28562 Office banter
All right, mates, I need some help.

I had a long period of complete social isolation following serious health problems. I've found a pointless office job, in two weeks I will start. My problem is that I have completely lost my "social banter" function. Whenever I am in the middle of people I just want to be somewhere else or to strangle every single one of them. I can find nothing to talk about, and I have no answer for what they tell me. When they share experiences, they are so different from mine that it's like speaking with a creature from another species. Any clue? What are office people bantering about? GoT? Football?
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>> No. 28573 Anonymous
27th May 2019
Monday 6:48 pm
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I had to do online courses on Safeguarding, Inclusiveness and Equality and Diversity to be eligible for the job, so the image is quite representative.
>> No. 28574 Anonymous
27th May 2019
Monday 7:24 pm
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>> No. 28576 Anonymous
27th May 2019
Monday 10:17 pm
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No, no BBC for me.
>> No. 28577 Anonymous
27th May 2019
Monday 11:46 pm
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I mean, you have to do those for any job these days; but that has never stopped anyone making an off colour joke when they know their colleagues will take it as such. Just make sure you don't have any of those Twitter moral guardian types around to spoil it.

I have worked in places where apparently nobody has any sense of humour, but I can't imagine the torture it would be to work there. That's the kind of place I'd simply prefer to be the antisocial cunt who doesn't talk to anyone. They can't sack you for being quiet, but if your colleagues are boring why bother.
>> No. 28586 Anonymous
30th May 2019
Thursday 12:39 am
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It's a common trend in HR, if you cannot fit with the "spirit" of the company you are not "a good cultural fit" and you must be kicked out during the probation time, no matter how skilled you are.

>> No. 27047 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 2:03 pm
27047 Where to meet birds
So, I've decided to try and not be that guy, a relationship-less virgin, into my mid-20s, which doesn't leave me with very long. I'm home from uni for the summer and have decided it's time to sort my act out.

The only problem - where to meet women?

I've completed tinder in a 15 mile radius, likewise for Bumble - zero (0) matches. I've messaged pretty much every girl on OKCupid with a match >75%; not one has replied.

What can I do now? The few local schoolfriends I am still in contact with are all male, everyone at my job is male, and all the women I talk to (from uni) are either in a relationship or otherwise not an option.

Going out to clubs doesn't work because a) I don't have anyone to go with, and b) when I try and do anything but stand at the bar drinking in a club (ie dance) I look like a tortoise trying to pilot a motorcycle.

Any ideas?
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>> No. 28533 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 7:18 am
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Find the thread in the catalogue. Slimming World is genuinely one of the prime places for meeting women once you've reached the age where your social opportunities dwindle.
>> No. 28534 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 7:39 am
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Fat women, surely?
>> No. 28535 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 7:42 am
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We cover this in the thread.
>> No. 28536 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 7:43 am
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Plenty of women who aren't fat go to slimming clubs. Find the thread and be enlightened.
>> No. 28537 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 7:45 am
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For reference.

>> No. 28484 Anonymous
10th May 2019
Friday 6:45 pm
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How do I improve my social skills?

I am absolutely terrible at talking to new people and building up a rapport with them. More often than not if a stranger tries talking to me then my mind will go blank so I'll probably laugh or smile and say "yeah", killing the conversation dead. It isn't shyness or anything like that; my mind literally goes blank and I cannot think of a single thing to say. I guess I'm not quick-witted or good at thinking on my feet.

I've no problem with having conversations with friends or work colleagues, although I'm much better talking in a group than one-to-one, which may be a comfort zone thing. My girlfriend has the ability to strike up a conversation with just about anyone she meets, which seems completely alien to me.

My lack of social skills have hampered me in my career so far and I imagine they will continue to do so unless I do something. Thinking about it, I think I've picked it up from my Dad so this is probably number #694 on the list of how I'm slowly turning into him.
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>> No. 28499 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 6:15 pm
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Simon Amstell is the only thing in that clip that doesn't seem like contrived insanity.

I don't even know where to begin deconstructing what's wrong with bringing along 4 mute motionless Japanese people along to an interview.
>> No. 28500 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 6:41 pm
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They do move a bit and I bet they're not really mute.
>> No. 28501 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 7:19 am
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Well you certainly put me in my place.
>> No. 28502 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 10:05 am
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Might not even be Japanese either!
>> No. 28503 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 11:10 am
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Well they say they are are. Now you are just presupposing dishonesty in Gwen.

>> No. 28411 Anonymous
16th April 2019
Tuesday 8:34 pm
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Okay fellas, I have no major problems going on in my life right now, in fact since January I've been doing pretty well.

That said, I've just gotten home from the gym and wanked for two hours straight, after telling myself I wouldn't do the same thing I did yesterday which was wank for two hours straight after work.

This is after wanking a shitload on the weekend as well.

It's fucking with my routine and making me squash my days. I like to have a wank to a sexual fantasy now and then, but fuck sake I hate doing it for two hours.

Just someone give me some support to not do this for the rest of the week.
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>> No. 28473 Anonymous
4th May 2019
Saturday 1:40 pm
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OP here again, thought I'd check up on this to see if there was anything new.

You've probably got the most relevant outlook to me here, dunno if I made myself clear but I don't really watch porn all the time, in fact I end up wanking a lot due to what you said, wanking while chatting to lads and lasses.

There's some good news though, since this thread I've been exhibiting a lot of control. The other night I got it over with in about 15 - 20 minutes after a week of not even doing it, without becoming an overstimulated mess. I've been controlling it a lot better after the gym too.

On that note as well, haven't really bothered chatting to anymore to get off because it tends to be a black hole for me where I just wanna keep going. Gonna keep on with how I've been doing.
>> No. 28482 Anonymous
10th May 2019
Friday 3:58 pm
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I wank 5 times a day and have a one terabyte porn collection. I want to abstain from porn and only wank using my imagination when I'm legitimately horny like I did in the good old days before the internet. How do you tell the difference between wanting to have a wank to relieve boredom and when you're legitimately horny?
>> No. 28483 Anonymous
10th May 2019
Friday 4:06 pm
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I think there's a lot to be said for a week of cold turkey and seeing how you feel.
>> No. 28494 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 4:51 am
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I think you have to relearn the difference between that mate.
>> No. 28498 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 12:42 pm
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>have a one terabyte porn collection
Weak shit my dude and this is after a significant recent prune. But I see myself as more of a "curator" than some fevered wank-addict.

>> No. 28349 Anonymous
13th April 2019
Saturday 6:58 pm
28349 Aphantasia: mind-blindness
Hi all. This is the first time I've ever posted in /emo/ since I'm becoming increasingly sure that I may have a condition that's been tentatively dubbed 'aphantasia'. This revelation has actually made me rather upset.

I feel I should stress from the outset that I'm not the sort of person who shops around for psychopathologies or neurological quirks, rashly concluding 'Aha! I must have that!' since it sounds interesting, or vaguely describes some of my behaviour in specific circumstances. I'm not prone to self-diagnosis and would describe myself as quite mentally healthy. But the description of this apparent condition sounds exactly like my ordinary life, and I can't imagine how wonderful the alternative is.

Basically the word 'aphantasia' means the inability to voluntarily create mental images. I don't have a 'mind's eye', I cannot form 'mental pictures'. All my life I have assumed those terms were metaphors for holding concepts and ideas in one's head. It is mind-boggling to me that other people can apparently form actual pictures in their minds that they can then look at, whether they're memories or daydreaming or the result of reading fiction.

I can't summon images of people I've known or places I've been. I can tell you if a picture of something I recognise looks wrong, but not by any form of internal comparison - I would just sort of know. I've had people say to me that the film representation of so-and-so or such-and-such looks wrong, and I've agreed, but not because I have ever been capable of imagining what they look like. I've always just remembered the words from the book, and noticed the disconnect onscreen.

Take a look at this BBC article on the subject:


One of the first sentences is 'Most people can readily conjure images inside their head - known as their mind's eye'. You have no idea how shocking that is to me, the way it's written so curtly and obviously. I never imagined that people other than savants could do this sort of thing at all. There's a semi-official test for aphantasia by a research group at the university of Exeter here:

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 28425 Anonymous
17th April 2019
Wednesday 12:05 pm
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I meant I was wondering whether many more people listen to him rather than read his books.
>> No. 28426 Anonymous
17th April 2019
Wednesday 12:09 pm
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You sound a bit like that guy who was awaiting a lung transport and got banned for being a grumpy cunt. (Although I kind of thought he had the right to be a grumpy cunt, considering.)
>> No. 28427 Anonymous
17th April 2019
Wednesday 12:54 pm
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I think that they almost certainly do.
>> No. 28428 Anonymous
17th April 2019
Wednesday 9:00 pm
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>Also, I do dream in images.
Ah, right. I was wondering about that.

I wonder if dreams are (therefore) a different part of the brain. Dreaming is like being plugged into the Matrix, it replaces your sensory function entirely, which isn't quite the same as conjuring mental images while fully conscious.

Ooh, interesting thought - if you dream and then wake up, you can't imagine what you were just seeing, even though it was a product of your imagination in the first place. Now that's some fuckery.
>> No. 28429 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 2:52 am
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>if you dream and then wake up, you can't imagine what you were just seeing

I can. Unless I really try and preserve it, the image fades quickly. In some memorable cases, I remember dreams from 15 years ago.

>> No. 28324 Anonymous
9th April 2019
Tuesday 8:16 pm
28324 Apprenticeship Pleb
I applied for an apprenticeship at the BBC but my application was rejected and now I just have no idea what to do. I just feel like going to bed forever. The cycle is finaly broken; try, fail, rinse, repeat. There won't be another go around, I'm in my mid-20s, I've got a wasteland for a CV and a threadbare education, before long I'll have tossed away another two years with nothing to show for it. When I remember all the chances I've bungled there is a din that runs throughout my brain and leaves me feeling half-conscious.

I've got one pair of trousers and no hope left.
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>> No. 28343 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 7:30 pm
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>If any of you recommend CBT for that I'll egg your car/pub bike.
Joke's on you. I don't have either.

So, ... maybe try CBT?
>> No. 28344 Anonymous
12th April 2019
Friday 10:21 am
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>Sure, you post Pepe the frog comics and dig up month old posts because you're such a winner.

I didn't do either of those things you ad hominem using nutter. I have something called a memory and my browsers has this thing called find. I just typed "the BBC" into it after being on the right thread. Took me less time then it took you to come up with that witty comeback.
>> No. 28345 Anonymous
12th April 2019
Friday 10:44 am
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So you did dig up a month old post?
>> No. 28346 Anonymous
12th April 2019
Friday 11:03 am
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If using Google is trawling the entire internet, sure why not.
>> No. 28347 Anonymous
12th April 2019
Friday 6:10 pm
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Lads. Stop it.

All cuntoffers below this post will be deleted.

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