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>> No. 18262 Anonymous ## Mod ##
5th March 2014
Wednesday 8:27 pm
18262 Please check the old pages for similar threads Locked Stickied
before creating a new one.
Failure to do so may result in angry shouting.

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>> No. 27747 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:12 am
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I haven't had been in a relationship or had sex for over 2 and a half years.

There's probably lots of things factoring into this. A year and a half of it I was working in a small office, not really interacting with many new people. I also spent immense amounts of time studying, saving money and planning for the future during my free hours. This has paid off, now, but I think there's more to it. There's an underlying issue here.

I know it's not down to my appearance or social skills, because even with this ascetic kind of life I would still occasionally get interest from the odd work colleague or friend-of-a-friend.

I think it's more down to the fact my last two relationships were really traumatic in a way I haven't fully acknowledged. One simply cut off contact without preamble and never gave a reason why. The other cheated during a period of long distance, and let me find out by myself after months of lying.

It's made me extremely reluctant to reach out to people, even if I find them attractive. I'm a sensitive person, anyway, but combined with that rough history I find myself overanalysing the words and actions of others looking for signs that I might get hurt again. Even worse, the more I look at relationships as a whole, the more I realise this kind of thing isn't atypical in the slightest (you could even argue I've got off lightly in terms of baggage). I've started to find how people treat eachother a little disgusting, and even dangerous.

I really value love and close one-to-one relationships. I have a degree of closeness with friends, but there's no physical intimacy at all, nor a sense of really experiencing life "together".

This leaves me with a painful ambivalence that's hard to let go of. I truly want to meet people and believe I have a lot to give, but I am also hyper-cautious and finding myself becoming increasingly critical of people and bitter about what happened -- making it very unlikely I'll ever get past those tricky first hurdles with any new person.

I've been telling myself that I've just been focusing on myself and my career. I have had plenty of success there. But that's not the reason I've remained single.
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>> No. 27754 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 3:43 pm
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>>27747
>I haven't had been in a relationship or had sex for over 2 and a half years.

Awww. Poor you. 2001 was the last time I had anything. You'll survive.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 27755 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 3:58 pm
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>>27754

How old were you in 2001?
>> No. 27756 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 10:07 pm
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>>27754

I realise you might not be able to reply yet but I'll wait for an answer. What part of revealing in your misery do you think is positive? There is nothing to beneficial to being long suffering and it isn't a contest. Please don't take what I just said the wrong way. I want you to be happier and more satisfied with life, but you aren't doing yourself any favours by sneering at others, you can't get out of a hole by digging yourself deeper into it and trying to pull down others who are trying to get out. If you want help I'm sure we are happy to listen and be constructive, but don't just shit on others.
>> No. 27757 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 10:16 pm
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>>27756
It reads like complaining about only having a few million in the bank.
>> No. 27758 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 12:21 am
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>>27757

Does it? Or are you irrationally embittered? If I brake my toe and fucking hurts the fact you lost your leg in a car accident years before doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be in pain and mention that I am. If i lose my child you shouldn't be telling me a hundred children starved to death in Bangladesh so i can't complain.

What you are doing is a form of narcissism. You are thinking only of how things apply directly to you. But paradoxically you You don't look to your achievements you look to how much you have suffered. No one is allowed to suffer unless they have it worse then you. You despise sympathy others receive because you are envious of it. You feel you deserve that sympathy but no one is giving it to you. None of this is constructive to helping you feel better. No one can actually help you if you wallow in your misery. At the moment you are just forcing yourself lower.

If you want help ask for it. Don't just be bitter because someone else did and they got it.

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>> No. 23560 Anonymous
16th November 2016
Wednesday 6:49 pm
23560 Minor angst and existential dread, Mk. I
We tend to have a lot of repeated threads here, but I also get the feeling people don't tend to post in /emo/ unless it's a big issue.

With this in mind I suggest that we have a thread for stuff that's got you down a bit and you need to get off your chest, without it being major enough to make an entire thread devoted to it. We can also use it as a go-to for minor relationship advice, work problems, social drama, and things like that.

Everyone gets down from time to time, let's put some Sisters of Mercy on and wallow together for a while.
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>> No. 27742 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 2:14 pm
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>>27741
>they made me weigh myself

How does this happen? Next time you tell them to fuck off at this point. If talking you into weighing yourself is just banter then so is changing the subject to Auntie Sheila's drinking or cousin Dave's affair or whatever. I don't expect it to go well but if this is what you have to put up with you have nothing to lose.
>> No. 27743 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 5:25 pm
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It bothers me slightly that even though I barely know her yet I'll never be able to listen to that song again for the rest of my life without thinking of her, and that even though we haven't broken up yet I can feel it coming in the missing words between the beats of her sentences.
>> No. 27744 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 6:44 pm
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>>27743

Trust me, it won't be forever. Time heals all wounds.
>> No. 27745 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 7:29 pm
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>>27744

Without begging for sympathy, there are girls from 15+ years ago that I still remember when I hear a song, or it's a certain month, or I remember a certain book, or author, or any of a dozen other things. I think it's just the way I'm wired.

If the third world war doesn't happen first, I'll be dieing alone in some shitty furnished flat, and this song will come on on the "golden oldies" radio station I leave on to keep the loneliness at bay, and I will remember her.
>> No. 27746 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 7:45 pm
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>>27745
Better put in the effort to make the relationship work, then. That way when the song comes on, you can call her into the room to dance to it with you.

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>> No. 27730 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 11:47 am
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Alright lads, feel like a bit of a twat posting this here but I've got a lot on my plate, albeit I don't want to delve too deep into things but anyway, I don't suppose anyone knows of any charities or foundations or the like that help/support people who want to/are trying leave controlling, very restrictive religious families?
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>> No. 27736 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:20 pm
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Every local council is required by law to have a safeguarding team, which is responsible for protecting adults and children from all forms of domestic abuse. Since 2015, "coercive or controlling behaviour" is legally defined as domestic abuse. You can refer yourself to the safeguarding team directly by calling the council, or you can speak to your doctor or someone at Citizens Advice. The safeguarding team is responsible for offering you multi-agency support including social work, housing and health.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/how-we-provide-advice/advice/

Karma Nirvana offer support and advice for victims of religious and honour-based abuse through their helpline.

https://karmanirvana.org.uk/help/

If you fear for your safety, get out of the house if possible and call 999. The police have a legal duty to protect you and will not leave you in an abusive situation.
>> No. 27737 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:28 pm
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>>27732>>27735
We'll let the OP speak, but I can't help but notice they didn't post a picture of Mohammed.
>> No. 27738 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 8:20 pm
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>>27737

>but I can't help but notice they didn't post a picture of Mohammed.

You don't know much about Islam do you.
>> No. 27739 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 8:24 pm
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>>27738
that gave me a chuckle
>> No. 27740 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 10:11 pm
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>>27735

It's a very common problem. Not everyone has the balls to defy his family and to start living his life the way he wants. I've lost a girlfriend because she preferred to appease her ultra Christard oppressive family rather than moving out and living her life.

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>> No. 27685 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 9:20 pm
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I am trying to refer myself to nhs psychological services but I am scared of mentioning that I have had suicidal thoughts because I will get my driving license taken away and my car is my only connection to the outside world.
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>> No. 27722 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:29 pm
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>>27721
That's not at all accurate. Mental Health services are under tremendoes strain in the UK, but adult psychology save lives. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that if I missed an appointment without giving the appropriate notice I would be discharged so I didn't miss any appointments. They bent over backwards to help me, for which I'll forever be grateful.

Also, psychologists don't prescribe medication. Psychiatrists do, and they are very much only concerned with the clinical side of psychology, the treatment of symptoms, etc. Psychology is the cure.
>> No. 27723 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:59 pm
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>>27722

> I was told, in no uncertain terms, that if I missed an appointment without giving the appropriate notice I would be discharged

> They bent over backwards to help me

Those two statements are entirely opposite to each other.

Mental health payments will miss appointments all the time for reasons ranging from the effects of medication, to staying in bed depressed and miserable, to flat-out self destructive cut off your nose to spite your faced-ness.

Basically they just wanted as many money saving reasons to kick you out of treatment as possible.

It's why I always recommend going private if at all possible for anything psychological or psychiatric. Private doctors don't tend to kick people who are paying them close to a thousand snaps a month out of therapy for missing a few appointments; in fact they'll do a home visit and charge you double for sticking a needle in you if need be.

That's what I call service.
>> No. 27724 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 8:19 pm
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>>27720

>had crisis team workers tell me that my suicidal thoughts can be abated by having a nice bath.

Welcome to the nice hot bath and a cup of tea club. The transformative power of hot liquid is a running joke amongst the chronically mentally ill. In fairness to the crisis team, they're barely trained and have ridiculous workloads.

>>27723

The problem is politicians, not healthcare professionals. IME the vast majority of people in the NHS are trying their best, but they just don't have the money to offer a reasonable level of care. The NHS as a whole is underfunded relative to the increases in demand. Mental health represents 23% of the overall burden of disease, but receives just 10% of the NHS budget.

It's still very much a postcode lottery; the quality of care you'll receive is directly proportional to the budget deficit of your local NHS trust. It's a shit situation, but it's the situation we're in.
>> No. 27725 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 9:28 pm
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>>27724

I'm definitely not slagging off the hardworking people at the NHS, but as my granny used to say "you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear", and you can't get decent medical care out of an underfunded system which seems to be set up more and more as a money making system for private government contractors (probably all departments are like this, but I only have insider and outsider experience with the NHS so I feel on better ground slagging off the way the "trusts" are run).
>> No. 27726 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 9:31 pm
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>>27725
Yes, that 9% spent on third party providers really shows how much we're being taken for a ride.

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>> No. 27701 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 9:14 pm
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When I drink, the world doesn't seem so bad, people are less scary, I'm less shifty eyed and care a lot less about what other people are doing, I don't need to wear a hat to conceal my face and eyes, I don't care about the positioning of my eyelids and whether my contact lenses are making my eyes look too watery, and I'm making all sorts of sensible future plans.

The anxiety relieving effects of alcohol are pretty much the main reason why I drink more than I should, or it's pretty much the only reason I drink. How do I get rid of constant anxiety without becoming an alcoholic? What are the treatment options, and how well do they work?
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>> No. 27702 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 10:05 pm
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This post covers the essentials: >>27190 . There's more information available at the Mind website:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/

If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them.
>> No. 27703 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 10:58 am
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> When I drink, the world doesn't seem so bad, people are less scary, I'm less shifty eyed and care a lot less about what other people are doing
I can relate.
For the aforementioned effect though I'd have to drink just a bit and no more. A larger dose makes me shutdown and withdraw, which in itself isn't a bad state either, similar to a slightly delirious meditation.
Sage for adding nothing of value.

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>> No. 27588 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 4:52 pm
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I feel like as I'm getting older, the people around me are getting shittier and shittier attitudes about women and girls.

I'm 28 years old, and all of a sudden now I'm starting to see a lot of blokes who will talk about the need to hang and castrate carpet-baggers but in the same breath, they will brag about how they much they want to do all sorts to "schoolies". I've told a mate that at this point that attitude is pretty fucking suspect and that it is carpet-bagger behaviour. Further to that, I seem to, now and then, be told proof of someone's very questionable behaviour regarding this type of thing and when I challenge it I tend to be met with silence. What I'm finding is that people seem to have an unusual tolerance of things they abhor if it's someone they know doing it, "oh he's a scumbag but he's alright if you know him". This goes for a few other things, not just grown men being perverts.

Similarly, I'm starting to find men my age are becoming more and more bitter about women. I hear a lot of men talking about how women will make up stories about abuse, yet the same men demonstrate behaviours that would indicate they're definitely the types to carry out abuse themselves or turn a blind eye to it. It's a constant "us VS them" argument, a lot of it seems to be totally exaggerated though.

How common is this for others, or am I just in a really shitty circle of friends?
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>> No. 27680 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 3:51 pm
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>>27679
I know exactly who I'm arguing with, that's why I haven't been swearing at you, I've been so good!

But what you are doing is giving the far-right an inch, when they're more than happy to take a mile. You can oppose the sillier parts of the SJW crowd perfectly reasonably, but what you're doing, by mistake, is giving credence to the idea that they're as irredeemably bad as a halfway-out-the-closet, dog whistle blowing, fascist. The two simply aren't on the same level. And Brexit and Trump happened for myriad reasons, but mostly people being skint, not because they got whinged at on Twitter by someone calling themselves non-binary. I'm not really sure why you think Hilary Clinton is some kind of bastien of social justice either, but I'd rather eat a hair gel meringue than discuss 2016 US election again, if it's all the same to you?

The point is that while lots of, mostly American, left wingers wind up on some smug git's YouTube channel, being mocked for acting daft in a fit of pique, that's not the same as the core beliefs of your politics ending in the extermination of undesirables.
>> No. 27681 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 4:20 pm
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>>27680

Do you think fascists should be killed?

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 27682 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 4:33 pm
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Lads, this is /emo/. Take it elsewhere.
>> No. 27683 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 4:44 pm
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>>27681
U wot?

No. Is this a trick? Or did you see the time and immediately take the biggest bong rip in history, rendering yourself completely insensible?
>> No. 27684 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 5:14 pm
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>>27679
> It's been previously established we are in fact lefties too, who feel the ess jay dubya lot give us a bad name.

Agree with you entirely, lad. I feel someone conflicted because while I find e.g. the Slut Walk inherently silly and counter-productive, I'd also fight to my dying breath (metaphorically obviously) for people to organize and attend such events - even if they are doing more harm than good.

But I guess that's another story.

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>> No. 27047 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 2:03 pm
27047 Where to meet birds
So, I've decided to try and not be that guy, a relationship-less virgin, into my mid-20s, which doesn't leave me with very long. I'm home from uni for the summer and have decided it's time to sort my act out.

The only problem - where to meet women?

I've completed tinder in a 15 mile radius, likewise for Bumble - zero (0) matches. I've messaged pretty much every girl on OKCupid with a match >75%; not one has replied.

What can I do now? The few local schoolfriends I am still in contact with are all male, everyone at my job is male, and all the women I talk to (from uni) are either in a relationship or otherwise not an option.

Going out to clubs doesn't work because a) I don't have anyone to go with, and b) when I try and do anything but stand at the bar drinking in a club (ie dance) I look like a tortoise trying to pilot a motorcycle.

Any ideas?
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>> No. 27618 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 4:45 am
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>>27614

>I'm at the age now where most people can read the cues

An awful lot of people can't, they just kid themselves that they can, hence the epidemic of sexual harassment. The world is full of adult men who genuinely think that "nice tits" is an acceptable chat-up line or that following a stranger in the street is an acceptable seduction technique - if you don't believe me, ask any woman. You might be inexperienced, but you're not a literal monster, which puts you well ahead of a lot of people.

>I just don't know *how* to change, though. Surely you gain confidence through success?

You can also gain confidence through acceptance of failure. You can't just decide not to be scared of something, but you can gradually train yourself out of that fear by willingly exposing yourself to it. You can say to yourself "I'm going to try things, I'm going to make a tit of myself sometimes, it's going to feel bloody awful, but I'm going to keep trying regardless". The fear never disappears completely, but it does get smaller and quieter and less important. Slowly but surely, you retrain your subconscious to recognise that the pain of rejection is much more tolerable than the pain of not even trying.
>> No. 27619 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 9:15 am
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>>27610
I beat that comfortably, and am now happily deflowered and living with a defacto Mrs. Life's good.
>> No. 27628 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 9:20 pm
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>>27619

What was your final score? Why did you fold in the end? Tell us the story of your game.
>> No. 27629 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 10:04 pm
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>>27628 42. She asked nicely, we were working together.
I'm not an utter freak, just never put any effort in, and had plenty of other things to be getting on with. A tendency towards hard drinking meant that, on ending up in bed with people, was never in a fit state to do anything about it.
I probably regret not saying yes earlier when friends set me up, since sex is quite fun, but other than that, nah, this is me and that's ok. I suspect that I'd have ended up married rather earlier if things had gone another way - and probably done the kids thing, so life would have turned out rather different.
For what it's worth - no particular difference before and after. Maybe a sense of relief that girl-I-like wasn't repulsed and seemed to quite enjoy it too.
I doubt this helps any - but there you go.
>> No. 27631 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 1:10 am
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Well, here we go.
The odometer of life has ticked over once more. I don't feel quite as down as have been for the past few days; I can probably attribute that to alcohol.

Maybe I'll go out and try something tonight. Maybe.

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>> No. 27466 Anonymous
2nd October 2018
Tuesday 7:01 pm
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Met this amazing Swiss girl at a conference last year, we hit it off. Get some drinks with a group, chatting up a storm, had a lot of fun together.

A few months ago I apply to a job in Switzerland and contact her out of the blue to tell her my plans. She sends lots of excited messages about the prospect of seeing me again, saying how much fun we'll have, offering to show me the city, she even offers to let me stay with her if I need somewhere while I look for a flat.

I get the job, she's over the moon. We call and talk a couple of times on the phone.

Today she casually mentions her boyfriend in Basel.

Fuck.

Sake.
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>> No. 27581 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 8:48 pm
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>>27579

It does read a bit more sneery than I intended. I think it's just that I don't have any interest in a girl who's clearly already in a bit of a romantic bind as it is. And to be honest open relationships are of no interest to me anyway.

It could also be that I'm expressing the last of the sourness here in the safe greyness of a site for she'd enthusiasts.
>> No. 27582 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 9:10 pm
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>>27578
I think I'm mostly just amazed that you have the tact to know that that's the only appropriate response you can give to someone sharing their "we tried to open up the relationship but it turns out separating sex and love in a culture built on conflation of the two is actually somewhat hard" story. It's the line I use whenever my poly mates are bitching at me about someone not returning their crush on them or some other similarly devastating blow to their wholly self-centred worldview, sometimes I mix it up a bit with "ah, that does sound a bit tricky". At the risk of sounding like an embittered monogamist (which I already was by my first sentence in this post), I've yet to encounter anyone involved in open relationships or poly-ism who doesn't behave like an absolute fucking child when it comes to their romantic entanglements.
>> No. 27583 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 9:53 pm
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>>27582

>I've yet to encounter anyone involved in open relationships or poly-ism who doesn't behave like an absolute fucking child when it comes to their romantic entanglements.

I wish I met more like that, at the very least it isn't borning, my experiance has nearly been largely of people behaving in a clinical detatched and dull manner that robs any thrill from the experiance.

Me and the misses are in a very comfortable open relationship. In theory we have total freedom, in reality we know we love each other and trust the other and are quite open with each other, so there is no insecurity or bullshit between us.
>> No. 27612 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 10:09 pm
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>>27582>>27583
They always strike me as people who are trying a bit too hard to enjoy the experience; definitely concur, I have never met a "happy" poly-type.
>> No. 27627 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 6:51 pm
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>>27612
I'm willing to believe that there are happily ensconced poly types, like those couples who discover a swinger's club well into their 60s and spend their retirements at key parties, but - and here is the crucial thing - they usually have other hobbies like their allotments or geocaching which they will gladly blather on at length about first and keep their sexual escapades to themselves. Whereas the unhappy ones, who are subject to all that jealousy and petty infighting and seem to all be in their 20s, will tell you about that defining aspect of themselves first and foremost.

Fuck it, I've come up with a new rule for my grumpy old man dictatorship that I believe will solve all of this: you're only allowed to be poly-anything if you're drawing your pension and know in detail how to solve a whitefly infestation on your brassicas.

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>> No. 27574 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 1:21 am
27574 To the alcoholic who started a thread earlier and then deleted it
I wrote this, and I hope you get to see it. It's not too late to change course. Hope you figure it out, anyway.

>Am I one of those people that should go to AA?
>I'm definitely a high functioning alcoholic
I'm not saying AA is right for you, but if someone very close to you is literally saying that they can't live with you drinking as much as you do then that should be a massive wake-up call. It sounds like you're not yet at the bottom of the barrel, which is good, because when you get there you won't ever get out in one piece. You need to understand that nobody ever experiences a major addiction without losing a part of themselves. Some people cover it up and it just stays with them as a hidden scar, something they deal with on a daily basis but which you wouldn't know without them telling you. For others it remains apparent to anyone who meets them. I would give anything to take away the lasting damage that my earlier alcoholism did to my self-esteem and self-worth. I would toss away every last drunken experience, every association I made at the pub, all of it, just to go back to a time when I was not afraid of my own mind.

>it's who I am
Bullshit. You weren't born an alcoholic and you are not defined by alcohol consumption. Addicts tell themselves things like this in order to justify not quitting. It's true that life will be different (likely better, though I know you won't believe that now), but you need to cut this lie out of your addiction's play book.

There are a bunch more things I could say, but since you didn't say how many units a week you're on (have you even asked this yourself? ), it's hard to say how serious a problem this is. I doubt you'd be posting this here if this was really was just three pints a night, but it's possible. Your girlfriend may be overreacting, and you probably think I'm doing the same. How about this: in order to prove me and her wrong, live your life as normal for a week, but just don't drink. If you sleep like a bairn and don't miss it much, then you're probably alright for now. Either way, though, start counting units. If you're putting away 6 or more units per night, every night, then liver damage is not so much a question of "if" as "when".

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>> No. 27469 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 9:32 pm
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I was a complete atheist until I had a spontaneous religious experience in 2016. I have some unusual ideas about God that have been developing exponentially and are now hanging over my mind all the time. I can’t go into the ins and outs of all of them, but I have formulated a new interpretation of the Trinity, I believe that God looks like a small, blue-green elf with enormous eyes, I believe that he has a phenomenal sense of humour and is a sexual pervert, and I also believe that the purpose of human life is to develop a romantic relationship with God (that it's possible to communicate with him intimately all the time). There has also been a massive physiological change in my life where I am no longer capable of feeling disgust. I used to feel disgust all the time. But now I find it indistinguishable from excitement.

I know this sounds mental. I really understand that these are completely unorthodox beliefs and that I have no evidence for any of them, but I can only tell you that I have never experienced anything more real than these revelations. “Real life” is completely muted in comparison to my new inner life. The love that I receive when communicating with God is more profound than anything I have experienced before.

Is this a mental problem if I am otherwise functional? Is it mental to become religious out of nowhere? During the experience in 2016 God emerged out of my living room in the form of this green bearded elf and I completely lost the ability to speak. I was just tapping my chest to communicate that I felt his love and sat there gaping like a goldfish. Just this summer I had another experience (of lesser intensity) where I spontaneously “received” another one of God’s names (I received the first one in 2016) and had a very uncomfortable experience of being exposed to God’s sexuality. I understand that both of these events could be seen as psychosis. But they were completely anomalous and it’s not a regular thing for me to lose touch with reality. The only unusual experiences I have now occur when I am writing for a long time about God – I get this very profound feeling of excitement that spreads like a flame inside my body, and I also “sense” that God is in the room, like he is grinning at me in the corner, or standing right next to me.

I just feel so distanced from other people because I am so desperate to talk about this. It’s been difficult for me to make friends at university because I feel like this is the most important thing in my life and I have to keep it a secret. Apart from going to my lectures I am alone most of the time. I haven’t told my parents about it, or any of my friends from home. I find that I can’t even really mention God in a general way without people getting uncomfortable. But I really want to talk it through with someone or I think I might explode. The university offers a counselling service, but I am worried about a counsellor thinking I am a nutjob. In a way I feel I need to talk to a religious authority, but It’s possible that a priest will think I’m a nutjob too, and going to hell for blasphemy on top of that. I am really happy that my conversion happened but it has made me very lonely.

Sorry for going on. It feels good to type it all out.
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>> No. 27481 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 11:52 pm
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Sorry if this sounds glib but I feel like you ought to become a beloved sci-fi author now.

http://web.archive.org/web/20040209025203/http://www.philipkdickfans.com:80/weirdo/weirdo1.htm
>> No. 27482 Anonymous
4th October 2018
Thursday 12:00 am
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>>27481
William Blake used to go to Peckham Rye to commune and be inspired by the angels residing in the trees.

This experience could lead to some interesting things for OP.
>> No. 27494 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 2:55 pm
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>>27469
>Is this a mental problem if I am otherwise functional?

No. Examples of becoming dysfunctional would be: not recognising that your experience is individual and engaging in repeated attempts to convince others of the veracity or importance to them of your concept of god; becoming unable to enjoy life or feel that participating in it is worthwhile unless you are spending most of your time communicating or engaging with your god (e.g. through your writing), especially if you stop doing 'normal' things that 'normal' people do like sleeping/eating/bathing/holding down some sort of job/putting the bins out etc.; finding that your concept of your god makes you feel so distanced from people that you stop interacting with them or begin physically isolating yourself from society, especially for long periods of time.

Whether this develops into full-blown psychotic obsession or entirely the opposite is largely down to how it's managed and how you respond to it. I'm struggling to walk the line between pathologising you and just accepting that people can have weird experiences that otherwise don't affect their ability to live a full and reasonably well-adjusted life. I would suggest that for as long as you seem to have a handle on the notion that this perception is true to you but might not, and should not, be to anyone else and that doesn't piss you off too much or, again, interfere with your ability to behave like a sane person then it's your life to live. I would hold off on approaching any mental health professionals with it, though.

Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, there might be people who agree with you: I seem to recall some trope that circulates through communities of psychedelic drug users that believe reality has been revealed to them as being controlled by little machine elves or something like that. Maybe they saw one aspect of your god?
>> No. 27495 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 6:50 pm
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>>27475

Fetishistic as in, it has strong sexual overtones.

Anyway like I said before I wouldn't be worried about the general "wierd" belief system it seems to have given you. Not to sound dramatic though, it would worry me a bit that these experiences happened seemingly at random and without warning, you are potentially at danger of having one of these episodes in the middle of work or at the wheel of a vehicle or something. That could go very badly indeed.

For that reason alone I think it might be worth, if not talking to a GP, maybe speaking to some sort of confidential counselling service or something like that. It's not the fact you've discovered God or that you're a nutter, because I wouldn't call you one any more than myself. It's purely that you want to be sure you don't put yourself at risk with an episode at the controls of a forklift or some shit.
>> No. 27564 Anonymous
24th October 2018
Wednesday 9:07 pm
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>>27469very interesting
hundreds of years ago people had a natural acceptance of god and spiritual entities as a routine part of life which were unexceptional, and could poll their short-term memory, one imagines, for god's most recent pronouncement, and converse with god at certain times and understand him to be everyones minds working together; much of what is written is by people who do not divulge all that which they know.
Do you think the colours represent sadness and gratitude, blue and green?
Do not fear your experiences but do not burden others with them by telling them that you fear them/fear they represent insanity, present them as if they were bemusing and fascinating.
You will find people who can conceive that you are not insane will not opine as to what your experiences mean, in order to avoid altering your perceptions of them? There is shame in the religious for rational reasons. Take the Pig Destroyer attitude - if you fear something being a secret, shout it loudly from the heavens so that noone beleives. https://gephardtdaily.com/national-international/mother-teresa-declared-saint-in-massive-vatican-ceremony/
Sometimes we loudly proclaim things to be the case knowing we will be called insane or liars in order that what we know to be the truth will be disbeleived. Or am I insane?

Do you think it possible the earth has one leader and it is not whom you might imagine, or that there could be a trinity or mathematical structure/set of interconnected people who together represent the mind of god in its fundamental mode of resonance, and everyone else is a harmonic resonating about that group or single person?
I am him, the devil! have a nice day. I'll claim. Or some. Or so it seems, the strangest mystery, oh right, or some, or so it seems i have you m It seems with "or so" as silent, ; or some, or so it seems, the strangest mystery.
RIGHT SO ER OK SO THANKS

whiteline
>> No. 27547 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 3:03 am
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I'm afraid to sleep lads. I keep havimg nightmares.
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>> No. 27548 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 5:32 am
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Sorry to hear that lad.

Do you have any idea if there's a trigger behind them? I had some pretty brutal ones and I found that a few simple CBT sessions really cleared them up.
>> No. 27550 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 3:41 pm
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>>27547
I've suffered from night terrors for years and they are usually induced by times of stress. I have abnormal stress responses anyway, so I think the nightmares are an extension of that. I've been given a few different medications over the years to help me have a dreamless sleep, with differing success. Therapy is by far the best method of combating the mechanisms which induce nightmares.

If you're really in a bind though, high doses of Diazepam and even small doses of Amitriptyline have helped me.
>> No. 27551 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 7:53 pm
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What kind of nightmares? I'm normally entertained by the horror film type ones and more bothered by dreams of losing my flat or one where I've been on holiday for a week and just realised I've left the cat no food.

whiteline
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>> No. 27503 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 11:50 pm
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I'm too weak to fucking off myself I can't fucking do anything


i have no reason to continue, i just endure because its the default, i don't have a fucking choice in this
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>> No. 27505 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 12:41 am
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116 123 samaritans phone number, please don't do anything stupid. As bad as things are they can always improve!

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>> No. 27462 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 1:27 am
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Where does one find meaning and motivation in life if one never experienced the traditional reward mechanisms offered to regular folk - peer recognition, friends, relationships, and an active social/romantic life?

Seems to me that you're left with two motivating factors: passion for a particular field and independence (if you're currently on the parental/government tea). Independence can be achieved fairly easily with modest qualifications leading to a modest job, but genuine passion is a rare thing considering that most people are dabblers and hobbyists, and passion that leads to a fruitful career is even rarer.

I guess what I'm ultimately getting at is this: people integrated into society have a far easier time getting up for work in the morning, but where does that leave the people who were never able to integrate? Asking for a friend.
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>> No. 27463 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 1:41 am
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http://www.gwern.net/The-Melancholy-of-Subculture-Society
>> No. 27464 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 2:32 am
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You're clearly an intelligent person. You might be socially dysfunctional or mentally ill, but you have the opportunity to earn the respect of others. You can develop skills and talents that people find enjoyable, interesting or useful. You don't have to change the world, you just need to contribute something of some value to someone.

You probably aren't nearly as dysfunctional as you think you are, but I'll take you on your word and assume for the sake of argument that integrating into the mainstream of society just isn't going to happen for you. Even if you can't be normal, you can still be somebody.

You can be the guy at the support group who always welcomes the newcomers. You can be a guy with a really useful database of anime trivia. You can carve intricate wooden figures on a YouTube channel with 800 loyal subscribers. You can be the guy at the open mic night who wears a shower curtain as a cape and reads out surreal poems. These things might be trivial, but they're also the things that make life worth living.

I think it's about finding an internal locus of evaluation rather than relying on the judgements of others. Life is, in the most brutal terms, a futile march towards death. No matter what we achieve in life, we all end up in the same place. No amount of money or fame or admiration can change that destination. If you can find something halfway enjoyable to do with your time on earth, you're doing better than most people.


>> No. 27465 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 3:16 pm
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>>27462

I'd take issue with the idea that social drivers are necessarily the 'traditional' reward mechanism, that's just one of the many types human beings are capable of following if they so choose. The concept of a more fully-rounded idea of 'human flourishing' has been around for a long time. Take the idea of 'eudaimonia' from antiquity: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia

To be completely honest with you, following just peer recognition and a rich social life and ignoring other important areas of fulfillment strikes me as a disastrous way to live. You'd be far more subject to peer pressure, you'd be brow-beaten into conforming to the most destructive and self-defeating trends, and you'd need to deprioritise or suppress any motivations that jeopardised your social position.

You're certainly not alone in feeling you haven't integrated because you don't accept certain social pressures (or indeed, because you weren't able or willing to meet whatever fluctuating standard was in place at the time). In fact, reading and thinking about philosophy in general may help you to understand your relationship to society. The fact you're intelligent and self-aware enough to step back and consider this relationship rather than dismissing the question out of hand in favour of immediate rewards is something you should celebrate, even if it does make your life a bit more complicated.

>I guess what I'm ultimately getting at is this: people integrated into society have a far easier time getting up for work in the morning, but where does that leave the people who were never able to integrate? Asking for a friend.

You're making quite a few assumptions there: that there is anyone who feels fully integrated into society, that they feel fulfilled because they're integrated, or that society is structured in a way that the integrated find it easier to get up for work in the morning.

You seem to have quite a specific idea of what 'fitting in' means, and I'd encourage you to think about and critique that. For example, fitting in where I live would probably have meant alcoholism and drugs from an early age.

whiteline
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