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>> No. 25702 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 11:43 am
25702 "Shut the fuck up."
I've been dating this girl for a little over a month and talking for two. She's been over at my place near enough every weekend and we've quickly become accustomed to one another's presence. It's been rocky due to her being quite a "spirtual" person and leading by gut instinct in comparison to my prim and proper logical approach. Naturally with new couples a lot of the tiffs can be chalked up to miscommunication or not being aware of the hard boundaries of your significant other. Fair enough.

She's currently on the rag. We were in bed last night and we got to talking about how she wanted to have sex despite it being her time of the month. We'd already done so earlier in the day. She said she wanted to try 69ing (something I've not tried in the past due to a fairly vanilla sex life) and I explained how I wasn't really comfortable with it due to my germaphobia and not wanting to risk ingesting rotting fucking uterine lining. She went into overdrive and started running off about how I always hurt her when we had sex in her favourite position and how it risked bruising her cervix. I covered my face with my hands and interrupted her mid-diatribe with a firm but casual "shut the fuck up." The atmosphere between us changed immediately. What was a sexually heated session turned debate quickly soured into an icy silence.

"Don't tell me to shut the fuck up," she replied from somewhere in the murky darkness to my right. "I don't tell you to shut the fuck up."

I explained to her that since we had begun dating — and she had consequently become more comfortable around me — she'd started to interrupt me a lot more, often to interject with her own premature opinion or some tangentially related tidbit about a friend or family member. I also explained that she often lacked the ability to rationalise and explained to her that the health risks associated with ingesting the blood of others isn't even in the same field as cervical bruising. I don't need to go into the details but I'm sure you'll agree.

She promptly turned over and refused to talk to me until the morning where I walked her to the station and kissed her goodbye for work.

This probably seems like some silly teenlad / copypasta shite and I totally get why you'd think that but I'm currently in my mid-twenties and haven't had a stable relationship in a while due to my on again, off again relationship with depression, a faltering career (already), and general lack of self worth from abusive previous relationships.

Do the actions described above make me a toxic or controlling person, especially losing my temper so early on? Is she the one that's fucked? Does this mean we're not compatible as a couple? Have you made a similar exclamation to a significant other and if so how did it turn out?

☑ Moan because I feel like I spend more time asking you two for advice than I do sorting my own problems like a Man™.
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>> No. 25703 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 1:10 pm
25703 spacer
>>25702

It sounds like you are incompatible in the long run to me. The problems you describe sound more fundemental then miscommunication.

Also I've never been one to shy away from sex on a peroid but oral at that point crosses the line for me and probably most people.

>Do the actions described above make me a toxic or controlling person
There is nothing controling about not wanting to do something. If anything it is controling to insist some should do something they don't want to. It sounds more like she is the controling one to me.

Toxic? I don't know, attacking people character is generally a no no, but the fact that she is randomly finding unrelated things to attack you with because she isn't getting her way, sounds far more toxic.
>> No. 25704 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 1:18 pm
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You should really be able to figure this out by yourself. Honestly, yeah you sound like an irrational cunt and pretty toxic to boot.

Firstly, you didn't politely decline her offer to earn your red wings, you went on a mad rant about germs like that is anyones problem but yours. Then she had a bit of a go which I imagine means you offended her, easy to do given how people are with their sex organs, but you seem not to have realised this.

Secondly, she brought up a legitimate sex complaint and you just brushed it off by scaling it with your frankly sissy health concerns. If you don't want to ever have sex with her again there are better ways to go about this.

>I also explained that she often lacked the ability to rationalise

Why in fucks holy name would a rational person do all of the above and why would they say something incredibly irrational like this. Have a word with yourself and start looking at your girlfriend like she's a human being.

I'd talk over compatibility issues and go from there but add that you could do with learning from her and that you probably make a balanced team (toxicity aside). Apologise for being a pig, mention that it's only been a month and you snapped because of how fast things have been going, you're a little inexperienced etc. Then you listen to her and be polite. Isn't life wonderful when you act reasonable.
>> No. 25705 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 1:32 pm
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- Not wanting to go down on a girl during her period: Ok!
- Telling your girlfriend to shut the fuck up: Stupid twat!
>> No. 25706 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 1:49 pm
25706 spacer
>>25704
>Then she had a bit of a go which I imagine means you offended her
>she brought up a legitimate sex complaint and you just brushed it off by scaling it with your frankly sissy health concerns

You seem to have all of the excuses in the world for her behavior and none for his.
>> No. 25707 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 3:15 pm
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>>25706
His behaviour doesn't have an easy excuse, she got offended not by a polite no but in the way in which OP voiced the objection as anyone would.

You could argue that she should understand why he was freaking out but that expects too much from people and anyway, your hang-ups are nobodies problem but your own rather than a way to shoot down others problems.
>> No. 25709 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 3:36 pm
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>>25707
>His behaviour doesn't have an easy excuse

Sure it does; he was consumed by his disgust at the idea and spoke his mind unfiltered. Then he told her to 'shut the fuck up' because no one deserves to have to stand there quietly and be berated.

>You could argue that she should understand why he was freaking out but that expects too much from people and anyway.

That's exactly my point. You expect him to understand and accept her problems. But you aren't holding her to the same standard.

When she brings up issues that she never brought up until this point I see that as her digging around for ammo to throw back at him, but you describe it as "a legitimate sex complaint", her problem is not that she lacks understanding of him, it is that her way of dealing with being offended is to find fault in the other person and attack.

If she accepted his point about "rotting fucking uterine lining" wasn't a personal attack but badly worded decline she could have been the better person, but she isn't. Neither have good people skills.
>> No. 25710 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 5:09 pm
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I have to agree with >>25703 in that you two don't seem compatible in the long run, at least from what you've told us there. Yes you probably shouldn't have told her to shut the fuck up but she also should have understood why you didn't want to 69 while she's on her period. If anything I'd just advise that you both work on your communication skills.
>> No. 25711 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 6:08 pm
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>>25702

>not wanting to risk ingesting rotting fucking uterine lining.

Fanny.

Just break up for fuck sake, it's been a month, I can't imagine you've already merged your sodding bank accounts. I didn't even get a third of the way through your pointless novella and it's obvious.
>> No. 25713 Anonymous
2nd October 2017
Monday 8:40 pm
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Well this is quite a cunty /emo/ thread. Sounds like you're all on your rag. And no I don't want to lick your bloody fanny.

Anyway OP.

>Do the actions described above make me a toxic or controlling person, especially losing my temper so early on?

I don't think so personally. Telling her to shut the fuck up is a bit harsh though, especially if you've only been going out a month. I'm not surprised she then got a bit defensive.

You then continued to dig your own hole with all the stuff about her interrupting, health risks blahblahblah. For a rational person you should realise that this was silly. Of course she's going to get upset with that sort of shit, especially if she's on the rag.

>Is she the one that's fucked?

Pressuring you into doing something sexually you're not comfortable with is a bit of a cunt move but then so is telling someone to shut the fuck up and sperging out.

So I'd say you're probably both a bit fucked, everyone is really. You're both just flawed damaged human beings like we all are and it sounds like a shitty argument. It needn't be a big deal, which lead onto;

>Does this mean we're not compatible as a couple?

Only you can really answer that mate. None of us know either of you or the dynamics of the relationship. To me it doesn't sound like a particularly big deal though.

Personally I'd apologise for snapping but try to tactfully explain that pressuring someone into something like that is a bit shitty, could maybe ask how she'd feel if you were pressuring her into sucking your knob when she didn't want to or whatever. Up to you though really, it's an impossible question to answer on a place like this.


>Have you made a similar exclamation to a significant other and if so how did it turn out?

Only really in jest and when I'd been with the person for a while and was comfortable enough to call them a dickhead or shut the fuck up and received similar in return. It's actually quite nice when you can call your significant other a twat and you can both laugh about it.

Not been in your specific situation though. So can't really give you anymore of my half baked waffle I'm afraid.

As I say personally I'd probably just apologise and then sex it all out of your systems.

Best of luck.
>> No. 25714 Anonymous
3rd October 2017
Tuesday 10:19 am
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>>25711

Listen to this man, OP. You’re not compatible, just break up and move on.

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