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>> No. 25951 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 6:29 am
25951 Homelessness
Any and all resources and information regarding being homeless in the U.K would be appreciated. A lot of advice online is very US-centric and a lot of the laws are different here, not to mention I'll be in London and not the wilds of Colorado or wherever so I don't envision needing water purification tablets or whatever. But I'm terrified I'll think of something obvious the moment I fuck off out of this house for the last time and sling my keys down the nearest drain, for example I forgot to put a sleeping bag on my list of supplies until just now.

Please bear in mind, I'm not looking for advice on how to avoid homelessness. I just want to fuck off forever but can't kill myself (except maybe slowly, drinking myself to death under a bridge) so this is it.
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>> No. 25952 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 6:55 am
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I didn't know hipster homelessness was a thing.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 25953 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 8:18 am
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>>25952
I'm not a hipster, I'm seriously mentally unwell and apparently no support of any kind exists for me. Thus I have come to the decision, in my opinion a rational one, to simply give up on life. Thanks for the flippant attitude though, it's very helpful. I remember when we used to actually help people here.
>> No. 25954 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 8:25 am
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>>25953

I would argue that it isn't a very rational decision. There's a reason a great deal of homeless people are mentally ill, and a lot of it is to do with them reaching the same conclusions you have, but all you'll be doing is making it worse. You won't find any relief or support on the streets either, so why not keep a roof over your head?

What sort of mental problems are you having, and why can't you get the support you need? Please talk to us for a bit before you make this life altering decision.
>> No. 25955 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 9:53 am
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>>25953
Mental people don't go around making what they consider to be irrational decisions.
>> No. 25956 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 10:08 am
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>>25954
To be honest, I'm not going to get any actual help with my mental health issues here. I tried that years ago and seeking help only made things a lot worse as I came to realise my parents were genuinely malicious actors rather than well-intentioned incompetent eccentrics who were perhaps a tad overzealous on the old "physical discipline" because they grew up in a time when child abuse was basically legal. They are the reason I don't just kill myself, they could beat me but they will never defeat me, they will never get to play the poor grieving parents who did everything they could at my funeral.

I'm sure I'm not the only person here with experience of being fobbed off by our overstretched mental health services. I don't even care about this anymore. I appreciate your concern, really I do, but I am more than done with allowing myself to believe that I could ever get better. I know feeling like this is a symptom of depression but it's quite obvious to me that, deep down in their hearts, 90%+ of the population, including people who work in mental health care, simply don't really believe in depression even if they claim otherwise.

Most people have no concept of privacy or boundaries either. Hell, at least a third of people don't understand consent and will happily tell you so to your face if you ask them (about half of those will notice your disgust and immediately backtrack). So I might as well live out exposed, it will be good for me in some ways as a semi-agoraphobic to have no choice but to keep moving from place to place. A kind of turbo-powered exposure therapy if you will. Everyone has always told me my problem is that I don't actually have any real problems so let's find out.

I'm already an alcoholic (or so close to it I might as well be). I'm already doing nothing with my life. I already can't look after myself. If I showed you a photo of my bedroom or told you about my personal hygiene you would lose all sympathy with me immediately. My tenancy runs out next month and I could never really afford to live here anyway so it makes sense, it's not even a decision as much as it is me finally accepting my fate.
>> No. 25958 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 11:06 am
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>>25956

Former homeless alkie lad here.

Don't chuck your keys down the drain, you'll just trade your current problems for a worse set of problems.

>Everyone has always told me my problem is that I don't actually have any real problems so let's find out.

Those people are cunts. Don't listen to them. You have real problems and there are real solutions to your problems.

>If I showed you a photo of my bedroom or told you about my personal hygiene you would lose all sympathy with me immediately.

No I wouldn't. I used to live in a bin. One of those big red Biffa ones. I once had to be cut out of a pair of socks, because they'd started to meld with my skin. Have you ever been arrested because you've blacked out in a library and shat yourself? I have.

I got my life sorted out. It was a long battle, but I did it. It's all baby steps. If you do one thing every day that makes your life a little bit better, it starts to add up like compound interest. I went to rehab, then moved into a hostel. I got a flat from the council. I went back to college, did some voluntary work and eventually got a job. I did an OU degree course while working in a shop, then I went to university and did a Masters, then a PhD. It took the best part of fifteen years, but I went from living in a bin to lecturing at a university. My journey was littered with relapses and panic attacks and the occasional sectioning, but I got there eventually.

Instead of bedding down for the night in a shop doorway, go to A&E and refuse to leave until you've been seen by the crisis team or the community mental health team. Be completely candid about your situation. They'll put together a package of care that suits your needs. You can get access to mental health care, but you can also get treatment for your drinking and help in sorting out your living situation. If you're at risk of losing your tenancy, they can get your benefits sorted and find you a place you can afford.

You've already decided that you've got nothing to lose. If you believe that, why not take a chance on something that might make your life better? Get on the bus and take yourself to A&E. If you don't feel like you can do that, then call an ambulance. You deserve help, so go and get it.
>> No. 25959 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 11:13 am
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>>25956

>I tried that years ago and seeking help only made things a lot worse as I came to realise my parents were genuinely malicious actors

I'm truly sorry. I'm not going to pretend that growing up like that hasn't made you much worse off. You'll probably never escape that, as much as I wish that you could. However, that doesn't mean you have to be unhappy forever. I can tell you're in such a bad place right now that you'd rather check out, but you say it yourself -

>I know feeling like this is a symptom of depression

I'm sure we suffer differently but in my experience I can go from rock bottom to basically normal in a matter of days. I don't believe that you'll always feel the way you do right now, I think you'd concede that too. I'm sure you have bouts of wanting to sort yourself out - I certainly do - can you imagine trying to do that from the streets? If you TRULY believe you will feel the way you feel right now, for the rest of your life, then I can't suggest anything else. But I think you know that you won't feel this bad all off the time. You're wanting to escape right now and I know that feeling well - you're desperate, and that's pretty much confirmed by the fact you only just remembered you'd need a sleeping bag. Chucking your keys away is a symbolic gesture I relate to a lot as well. It'll feel like you've done something, made a decision, which can be powerful, but it's a decision you can't really take back. Once you're homeless you're almost certainly going to stay that
way. I can't claim to know very much about you, but I can guarantee all the things you've said about it being good for you, it's just rationalisation. It won't.

>90%+ of the population, including people who work in mental health care, simply don't really believe in depression even if they claim otherwise.

I understand where you're coming from here, and GPs can be notoriously bad for this sort of thing, and anyone who has never had depression will never truly understand, but I know the people in mental health DO believe in depression. They know empirically it's a suppression in your brain chemistry. I don't think that's in any dispute.

It's frustrating you haven't received the care you need, but as you say, it's been years since you tried, and it sounds like you resisted it, or at least had a hard time processing what you needed to come to terms with. That's understandable, but again, I don't think it's cause to throw it all to the wind just yet. I think what you're doing is essential suicide, except you'll be even more miserable.

I don't know much about your area but it seems there's a trust called West London Mental Health that seems aimed at people like yourself. http://www.wlmht.nhs.uk/services/help-in-a-crisis/. You owe it to yourself to exhaust all possibilities, right?

I'm getting hints you might just think it's all too painful to deal with, and are resisting the help you deserve because of that. I think that's a mistake, and if you have the wherewithal to post here I think you shouldn't count yourself out.

>I'm already doing nothing with my life. I already can't look after myself. If I showed you a photo of my bedroom or told you about my personal hygiene you would lose all sympathy with me immediately.

I've attached a picture of my bedroom from about two months ago.
>> No. 25961 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 3:44 pm
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>>25958
What are you a doctor of, out of curiosity?
>> No. 25962 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 4:59 pm
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>>25961

Applied maths, but my area of expertise straddles the line between maths and computer science.

It was all a bit of an accident, if I'm being honest. I stumbled into maths mostly out of a lack of self-confidence. I had a shit time at school, my parents were a bit cunty and my later experiences just reinforced my distrust of other people. There's not much room for subjectivity in maths, which is weirdly comforting if you're lacking in confidence and a bit paranoid.

If you've written an English or history essay and get bad marks, there's the possibility that your tutor just doesn't like you. In my mind, that possibility could easily snowball into a cycle of paranoia and self-loathing. This is shit, I'm shit, these cunts are out to get me, I don't belong here, they're going to make sure I fail, I deserve to fail, I'm worthless, I'm wasting my time trying. A mathematics tutor could hate your fucking guts, but they can't really argue with your work - either it's right or it isn't.

By some fluke, I turned out to be a fairly competent mathematician.
>> No. 25963 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 9:14 pm
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> I went to rehab, then moved into a hostel. I got a flat from the council. I went back to college, did some voluntary work and eventually got a job. I did an OU degree course while working in a shop, then I went to university and did a Masters, then a PhD. It took the best part of fifteen years, but I went from living in a bin to lecturing at a university.

That is pretty amazing.

OP, right now I feel similarly. Like the whole world is conspiring against me and that anything I do to improve my lot will be nullified when people discover the "real" me. I want to escape too, so much - but the wilds of Colorado sound more appealing than London!

There are certainly mental conditions that people have that society is apparently not interested in dealing with - and for which the response of people in aggregate is to condemn or ignore.

There is hope, however, because many individuals within society do in-fact care about you, and will be able to relate to you and help you. Yeah, its just really hard to find these people, because on the surface they look just like all the others, but they are out there.
>> No. 25964 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 11:06 pm
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>>25963

>That is pretty amazing.

It sort of wasn't though, which is what amazes me. Each individual step was quite scary, but not massively difficult. The hardest step by far was the first - listening to a support worker who offered to send me to a rehab unit. Everything else just sort of happened. The rehab unit referred me to a hostel, the support worker at the hostel got me into a flat, the JobCentre sent me to a college open day and then to a job interview, my supervisor suggested that I try the OU, my OU tutor suggested that I do a masters, my masters tutor encouraged me to apply for a PhD.

I don't want to downplay the amount of hard work involved, but all of the critical moments in that journey were just a matter of asking for help and taking whatever was offered. It's a cliche, but when you've hit rock bottom then the only way is up. I reached a point in my life where I was willing to give anything a go, because I was more afraid of the status quo than the unknown.
>> No. 25965 Anonymous
14th December 2017
Thursday 11:14 pm
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>>25956

>my parents were genuinely malicious actors

Mine too, they are completely and utterly insane. Destroying themselves and their own family has been the single most important thing in their lives for some odd reason, they're true scum.
The frog and scorpion fable really is accurate, evil people will destroy themselves in order to destroy others. You would think that having kids that turn out better than them might be some source of pride and will at least get them some reflected glory, but they are sub sentient and can't entertain something as abstract as that. It isn't even abstract to a real person, it's instinct.

>I'm sure I'm not the only person here with experience of being fobbed off by our overstretched mental health services.

I've come to the conclusion that aside from prison, loony bins, or some kind of emergency, there actually isn't any unless you pay. I think the NHS puts out propaganda to oversell itself to justify the funds it wastes, and physically offers little in that regard. It's also become extremely fashionable to be into solving mental health issues right now so there's a hightened pretense that something is being done. People can get prescribed some anti depressants fairly easy, and I've heard it works for a fair amount of people but it's important to find a type of pill that suits you.

As for people not believing in depression, the problem is the title. It has become associated with basic gloom or sadness and is hijacked at times by attention seeking pretenders who keep that going. In my experience it's more like powerful bodily and psychological emptiness, and is for the most part aside from any emotional dynamic. It feels like being a piece of metal so rusty that it's got holes in. The word depression is too vague and low intensity for my liking, it needs a more accurate word.

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