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>> No. 4012 Anonymous
14th December 2012
Friday 9:36 am
4012 spacer
Applying for JSA links
Both are a little out of date.
498 posts and 12 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12780 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 4:57 pm
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MD5 isn't secure, as people have found ways to modify inputs to give the same output.
>> No. 12781 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 5:13 pm
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You're confusing collisions with preimage attacks.
>> No. 12782 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 5:13 pm
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>100 meters
20, lad. Tell them you can't walk more than 20. Trust me.
>> No. 12783 Anonymous
8th December 2018
Saturday 10:12 am
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No problem, if I stay 2 days without taking 'prol and 'mide I am unable to walk 20 meters without gasping for air.

>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
1795 spacer
ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
3336 posts and 115 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12893 Anonymous
11th January 2019
Friday 8:30 pm
12893 spacer
He's right to be fair.

[Sub department] / [business area]
[Phone number] / [Email address if for some reason you ABSOLUTELY must have it and you sometimes email through different emails]

Never understand people with about 7 lines that include Linkedin, a motto, something about not printing emails to save the environment, their specific business area's area, their desk location, working hours, anything like that is just unnecessary.
>> No. 12894 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 12:20 am
12894 spacer
You forgot the accreditation logos, three business addresses, various registration numbers, a message from the virus scanner, and 3-4 other disclaimers.
>> No. 12895 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 1:20 am
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Where I used to work, there was a mandatory signature structure including pretty much everything in >>12894. It looked shite, but when I legitimately forgot to update it I got a right talking to. I suppose it's primarily legal stuff.
>> No. 12896 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 8:36 am
12896 spacer
>It looked shite, but when I legitimately forgot to update it I got a right talking to. I suppose it's primarily legal stuff.

It might just be an overzealous marketing department trying to justify their existence. The marketing team at my last place of work were an absolute nightmare for things like this (>>6201).

They'd try to dictate what you had to write in your out of office message and they'd spend weeks finalising something like the 'company' shades of red, blue and green to use, which didn't even match up with the actual shades used in the logo. They'd piss away shitloads of money getting someone else to design marketing material for them, with their only real contribution being the piss poor spelling and grammar, and they were also constantly sending out snotty emails saying we had to follow what they'd come up with, like the 'company' font, or the brand would be harmed; that was a particular favourite phrase of theirs.
>> No. 12897 Anonymous
12th January 2019
Saturday 2:17 pm
12897 spacer

I remember subtly doctoring one of the product advertisements we had to put in, because it went


so I changed it to


I hope that the marketing department is actually staffed by representative realists.

>> No. 12882 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 10:06 pm
12882 spacer
I've been offered a new job over email, not signed any contract or anything. Do I hand my notice in now or wait til I see a contract?
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>> No. 12883 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 10:10 pm
12883 spacer
Don't hand your notice in until you have the physical contract.
>> No. 12884 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 10:19 pm
12884 spacer
This. Wait for it in writing, and even after that if there are conditions like a medical/drug test.
>> No. 12885 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 10:23 pm
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>drug test
Is this a thing over here yet?
>> No. 12886 Anonymous
8th January 2019
Tuesday 10:32 pm
12886 spacer
Has been for at least twenty years for some industries, yeah.
>> No. 12887 Anonymous
9th January 2019
Wednesday 1:42 am
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You can usually find out the handful of common drugs they test for and do the piss test wrecked out of your tiny mind on a bunch of shit they don't test for, just for the hell of it.

Yes I get most of my joy out of feeling superior to others, no I wasn't aware there was an alternative.

neighbour spying.jpg
>> No. 12825 Anonymous
2nd January 2019
Wednesday 2:03 am
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How does the dole work? Could one half-arsedly apply for a bunch of jobs for the fortnightly visit to the job centre or is everything checked and verified online these days? Do they force you to accept a job if you're offered one? Basically how would one get bennies with the most minimal effort and interaction with other humans possible?
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>> No. 12849 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 12:48 am
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>then perhaps you aren't actually fit for work
I don't know, according to DWP a used tampon is fit for work.
>> No. 12852 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 2:35 am
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I last signed on five years ago. They had brought in Universal JobMatch, and said you have to spend 35 hours a week looking for jobs, and changed the advisor's job title to a "coach". When he told me, I had a vision of him wearing a tracksuit and blowing a whistle at me and surpressed a laugh and he looked stung.

You sign a jobseeker's agreement which says you have to visit certain recruitment sites every day and apply for a certain number of jobs every day or something. You have to go on UJM every day and log that and give the advisor access to your account. You have the legal right to not give access but then you're making yourself a target for them to fuck with you and it's better to fly under the radar as much as possible.

My agreement just said to visit the recruitment sites every day and there was an "implication" I would apply for a lot of jobs. I got a different advisor every time and they were wildly inconsistent about what is or isn't acceptable and it's harder to comply with an "implication". I think the people with one nice advisor must either be in a small place or signed on a long time ago.

In my experience, they have a stronger dislike of graduates and the middle-class because they feel you're going to look down on cleaning jobs and things.


It isn't but it's different from JSA ten years ago when you did your jobsearch on paper and the advisors were nice.
>> No. 12855 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 9:50 am
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I've mentioned this here before but one of my advisors was a Chinese guy named Ming but he was a nice one and not merciless at all. He never heard me make idiotic jokes about his name though.
>> No. 12874 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 11:00 am
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>How does the dole work?

Watch "I, Daniel Blake" tonight at 9:45pm on BBC 2 and find out.
>> No. 12875 Anonymous
6th January 2019
Sunday 11:10 am
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The last time I tried to sign on was a year or so ago when I had just got back from bumming around Europe in the summer, I was sleeping outside and hiking so it was very affordable, even managed to land a little cash in hand work to get a little spending money, had a great time. Got back and started looking for work so I figured I'd sign on, only to be told that I needed to be living in the UK for 3 months before claiming, when I called up to ask about it and say I was a British citizen they seemed really surprised but did nothing.

Good job I had family to crash with otherwise I'd have been fucked. Fortunately I found a job within a week on my own too so fuck 'em.

>> No. 12807 Anonymous
21st December 2018
Friday 1:54 am
12807 Online Applications
How do I apply for jobs online? What sites should I use and which should I avoid? I don't anything about nothing, man, and I'm just looking to apply for everything and anything.
9 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12820 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 5:48 pm
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How can it be the same site if both coexisted at the same time, it's operated by different people and never shared any code or data.
>> No. 12821 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 11:26 pm
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How can the hms Trafalgar and the HMS Ark Royal have both been flagship of the British navy when they have both been around at the same time?

I imagine the underlying data and project are the same but one is the updated version of the other.
>> No. 12822 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 11:44 pm
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So you reckon Monster donated their source code to competitor Adzuna? You think they shared data but forced everyone to reregister, reupload their CVs and repost job ads for the fun of it? They shared data and yet no user was able to see any evidence of this.

Or is it that you don't have a fucking clue but feel entitled to argue anyway using ridiculous analogies?
>> No. 12823 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 11:51 pm
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>You think they shared data but forced everyone to reregister, reupload their CVs and repost job ads for the fun of it?
It involves the DWP so that is in no way an unreasonable assumption.
>> No. 12824 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 11:51 pm
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They may be different beasts but they serve the same function. Fuck's sake, lads. You really will argue over anything.

>> No. 12669 Anonymous
8th November 2018
Thursday 3:20 am
12669 Hello
Are call centre jobs as bad as people say?
18 posts and 3 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12716 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:22 pm
12716 spacer
>Turned out to be some kind of fat neck-beard poor sod in his early thirties, living with his ma.

You say that as if that's not a perfect description of any .gs regular.
>> No. 12723 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 8:04 pm
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Worked in one for over two years, I eventually quit over stress issues and how I was basically being berated for being on antidepressants. High turnover of staff, a real cutthroat culture among people who have actually climbed up to higher roles and a total disregard for communication, despite this being for a major telecomms company (shock horror). Massive amounts of double standards and favouritism at play too, a 4-on-4-off nightshift in your standard warehouse is probably a much better experience.
>> No. 12724 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 9:25 pm
12724 spacer
> how I was basically being berated for being on antidepressants

I might be a complete introvert but my mental health issues would be something I wouldn't bring up with my employer. There is still a ton of negative prejudice towards most mental health issues and unless you need to invoke your status as part of some work scheme or other I'd probably choose to suffer in silence.
>> No. 12725 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 4:55 am
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That's not necessarily an option if a) you need time off work for medical appointments and b) you work in an Orwellian shithole.
>> No. 12726 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 9:28 am
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Bit hard when it's your doctor telling you to take 2 weeks off with a notice and then prescribing you.

>> No. 12706 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 6:44 am
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Morning lads, I have an issue that I think everyone has faced at some point involving new job anxiety. I think typing this out will ease my worry in itself but if you had any sage wisdom it would be most appreciated.

My new role is seemingly perfect, professional and I feel very lucky to have gotten it. I've also moved to a new city where I don't know anyone so it's a big step. The problem is that I worry I will either be fired or end up not making any friends at work. That would be heartbreaking and at 30 I feel less able to afford messing this up when I'm trying to put my life in order.

This isn't without some basis. I'm coming back into work after a long period hiding in academia and before that I struggled to hold down a job much less make workplace friends (I’m a little shy/awkward). University fixed that in more ways than one from building my self-confidence and people skills to simply getting me out of the call centre/data entry hell. Of course, I must acknowledge that university life is also very different to the real world so I don’t know how much my luck will have changed.

Anyway, I’m sure this is all very tedious to read but you can understand my cause for concern. How do I fit in and achieve job security? Would baking some cookies at the end of the week for everyone send the wrong signals as the rational part of my brain suggests?
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>> No. 12707 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 7:00 am
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This'll sound daft, but talk back to people when they talk to you. If someone asks about your weekend then ask how theirs was.
>> No. 12708 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 7:23 am
12708 spacer
>How do I fit in and achieve job security?

You're the new lad. You're not the first new lad and you won't be the last. Everyone is expecting that it'll take you a while to settle in to the job, learn the ropes and get to know everyone. Nobody is expecting you to be a total whizzkid or to be the life and soul of the party; trying to be either will just alienate people.

Be polite, be friendly, show willing and try to avoid any properly massive fuck-ups. If you can manage that, you'll be fine.

If you don't make any friends at work, that's no great tragedy. They might not be the kind of people you want to spend your free time with and there are plenty of other ways to meet people. If the job doesn't go as well as you hoped, that's no great tragedy either. Unemployment is at a record low and there are plenty of decent jobs for qualified people like yourself. As long as you don't literally burn the office down or bankrupt the company, you'll get a decent enough reference.
>> No. 12709 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 10:10 pm
12709 spacer
> at 30 I feel less able to afford messing this up when I'm trying to put my life in order.

Logic dictates that you do not need to feel this way. You can afford to fail.
>> No. 12712 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 11:29 am
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I've recently changed jobs too. I don't feel exactly comfortable as I tend to feel that I was taken because of no other candidates. I have to note that I don't have much evidence for that so maybe it's just a self-doubt. But maybe not.

I'm also not the most personable lad and a bit awkward and I really wish I could just carry it being aloof and not feeling uncomfortable. For some reason awkwardness usually takes over and I try too hard to appear 'normal'. The outcome is of course anything but that; about a year ago some other lad asked me if I could to not do that, in almost exact words 'you look like a tryhard, don't, you are okay'.

Sage for /emo/ bollocks.

>> No. 12682 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 12:47 am
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I'm 26, have been working full time for two years and already feel as though I'll be stuck in this career forever and have no idea how I could ever leave it, I want to find something else to do because I never chose this line of work, it was just the only job offer I got out of university, and the idea of changing what I'm doing altogether seems insurmountable. Who would hire me? Why? I don't get how I'm supposed to get anything off the ground.

No I don't know what I want to do. How the hell would I, I haven't done it before.
15 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12700 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 6:11 pm
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What's even going on? What are we getting angry about?
>> No. 12701 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 6:14 pm
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A mod is getting angry because he thinks /lab/paedo's tactics have been taken to a new level by the "Alt Right" who are now making apparently genuine threads that are actually just subtle methods to convert us to right-wing thinking, and that once they find their foothold in here they'll be all over us like "flies on shit".

Personally I think he needs to eat 2mg of Risperdal and sit in a darkened room with no internet for a bit.
>> No. 12702 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 6:18 pm
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He's not a mod.
>> No. 12703 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:32 pm
12703 spacer

My apologies.

Someone acting rather proprietorially towards the board is getting angry...
>> No. 12704 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:40 pm
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He's not getting angry.

>> No. 12618 Anonymous
23rd September 2018
Sunday 9:19 pm
12618 Contracting
Where I work we have a lot of contractors. They do they same work as permanent staff, presumably being paid a lot more, and they stay up to two years, which I suspect is longer than the average tenure for a permie. I have also seen a lot of them that are much worse at their jobs than the average permanent staff (and they don't get fired)

It seems like that in a place full of contractors, being a permie is a shit place to be: more responsibility and less pay. Senior management recognise that contractors are costing them a lot (they mention it during all-hands meetings), but seem to have no plan to increase benefits for permies to try and encourage them to stay. It is very hard to hire good permanent people.

As a result of this, lots of permanent people are leaving to become contractors. I am thinking of joining them.

Does anyone have experience with such situations?
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>> No. 12619 Anonymous
23rd September 2018
Sunday 9:38 pm
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Beware of IR35. If HMRC think that you're just pretending to be self-employed for tax purposes, they will fuck your shit up.


As a contractor, you have no statutory employment rights. You might be paid more, but you have no entitlement to sick pay or holiday pay and your contract can be terminated with no notice. If your client decides to fuck you over, you have no recourse to an employment tribunal.

Becoming a contractor can be advantageous, but there are risks and downsides.
>> No. 12621 Anonymous
23rd September 2018
Sunday 9:47 pm
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A good part of this is to do with budgets. Permanent staff have to pay for themselves, whereas contractors can be considered a capital expense. The two are handled through different channels by different business functions with differing levels of baggage (HR vs purchasing). One of the reasons I left a previous job was that I was underworked and underpaid, and my employers found excuses instead of doing anything about it, but somehow still managed to hire a contractor at a not-insubstantial day rate to do things I could have been doing.
>> No. 12622 Anonymous
23rd September 2018
Sunday 10:44 pm
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It depends on your industry. In cheffladding, self-employed is the way to go, as there is ALWAYS work for you, multiple extremely established agencies who you know are dependable, and due to the nature of the job you can pretty much wander into a new workplace or environment every other day and still know what you're doing. It would basically be impossible for a semi-skilled chef near a large urban area to run out of work.

Your industry might be very different. As already said, you're looking after yourself from then on out, and it's hard to quantify just how useful holidays and sick pay can end up being. If the extra money you'd be getting as a contractor isn't much more than, say, six weeks extra pay, then a holiday off work and a bit of illness could see that extra money wiped out anyway.

>> No. 12568 Anonymous
3rd September 2018
Monday 3:09 pm
12568 Can somebody translate this?
Can somebody translate this sentence in plain English? It's the answer that I got after a job interview. I aced the technical part, but I struggled a bit with the chatting with the bosses.

"We felt you were very personable, however we did not feel that you are the right cultural fit for the organisation at this time."

Thanks, lads. Now I am going to get plastered. I really wanted that job.
14 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12611 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 1:21 pm
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This >>12610
IE, wear a ballgag and leather cuffs at the interview, works every time.
>> No. 12612 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 1:25 pm
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Your analogy still essentially likens HR personnel to a U-bend, so ultimately it seems like we agree.
>> No. 12613 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 5:42 pm
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I know, Amazon corporate culture is total shit. The job is marginally better because it is in tech support and not one of those slaves in picking/packing. I do not expect to stay long there, just about ten months to improve my CV. At least I am childless and alone, so I can devote myself fully to the workplace. The interviewer is going to appreciate it.
>> No. 12614 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 6:02 pm
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Tell them that you've licensed your intellectual property to an offshore company through which you'll have to be paid.
>> No. 12617 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 5:22 pm
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It could well be a cop out or template response, but it could be this exactly. You may all be on the spectrum IT nerds, but there are still people with different preferences and roles to play.

For example, having one person obsessed with process can be beneficial in keeping the rest of the team from cutting corners and building tech debt; have too many of those and they start downward spiral of process over progress. When that person quits, they may want another one.

>> No. 12581 Anonymous
5th September 2018
Wednesday 11:17 am
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What are some things that you can get qualified for relatively quickly that would get you a job paying more than the minimum wage? The first thing that springs to mind is an SIA (security guard) licence course.

My definition of relatively quickly is fairly loose so feel free to suggest anything from one week to half a year, the higher resulting pay the better.
8 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12593 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 2:19 pm
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>It seems like it'd be a much more stressful job on our cramped roads.

I know what you mean, but at the end of the day, you can't control the traffic, so if someones having a go at you for being late, all you have to do is show them the congestion report from the M25.

I think what appeals to me about the job, other than the fact I find driving inherently relaxing, even on a deadline, is that you can only legally work so many hours in a day. Some of the jobs I've had, I'd have killed to be able to point at my tachometer and sit down in a corner for four hours. Plus I've never seen anyone cut up an HGV on the motorway.
>> No. 12595 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 3:22 pm
12595 spacer
Isn't the military a bit funny about that? Also has laser eye surgery gotten safer over the last couple of decades, I seem to vaguely recall reading some horror stories about it as a kid.
>> No. 12597 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 6:56 pm
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>I looked into the military but my shitty eyesight disqualifies me.

There's no barrier to entry on any eyesight issues that can be corrected with glasses/contacts, in any branch of the british military. There might be some restrictions for obvious things like being a fighter pilot, but other than that, you should get in.

Unless you're legally blind, but I feel like you would have mentioned that already.
>> No. 12598 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 7:45 pm
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Even if he is, he could always go and work for the MoD's procurement division.
>> No. 12599 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 9:11 pm
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Pretty sure all the branches set a limit of -6.50 on people who need to wear glasses.

>> No. 12500 Anonymous
8th August 2018
Wednesday 12:21 am
12500 Probation
My contract states that during the 6 month probation period my employer can give me a week's notice. Under a different clause, it's stated that I must give a month's notice - regardless of whether I'm on probation or not.

At my previous place, during probation, it was a week each. Is this imbalance (my month's notice to my employer's week) unusual?
9 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12517 Anonymous
9th August 2018
Thursday 2:30 am
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Nah, just book your holiday. You don't owe them anything and you're playing by the rules. I doubt anyone will even notice what you've done, particularly if they don't know the timeline of this other offer.

Mind you if all you're doing is essentially transferring to another department, why do you think your manager wouldn't find out about it? And why would you need a notice period to get a different job with the same company?
>> No. 12518 Anonymous
9th August 2018
Thursday 6:55 pm
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And any of that stops you from just not turning up how, exactly?

Or, if you think they're going to sue you over contract law and you were mug enough to sign a contract specifying a three month notice period, turning up and putting your feet on the desk and farting like a complete cunt every minute or so while playing angry birds on your phone, taking half hour fag breaks every 15 minutes and a three hour lunch every day, from which you come back smelling of cheap whores' perfume and stale Stella? They'll soon ask you to just stop coming in.
>> No. 12522 Anonymous
11th August 2018
Saturday 1:57 pm
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You still need to work notice periods even transferring between departments. I know this, as that's how I transferred into this job. I also know exactly who will be interviewing me, and how sodding lazy they are about actually pursuing references. Typing it all out made me realise that if I did try to leave them in the lurch it would just be an attempt at cheap revenge, which might not stand me in the best stead for ever going back at a later date. I think I will still book the holiday, but make up some shit about my parents taking me to Italy for a long-overdue summer break (which, actually, they have offered to do) and act like I'm sorry I'm leaving. Y'know, if I get the job. I really need to get the job. I haven't spoken to anyone else about it in an effort to keep it hush so you two are getting all my pent-up mulling over on the situation, sorry. Thanks.
>> No. 12558 Anonymous
16th August 2018
Thursday 6:22 pm
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An update, for anyone who cares: my current role have just offered me a potential change of contract, offering more hours and more responsibility. Someone has fucking snitched on me, I know it.

Bugger and blast it all.
>> No. 12559 Anonymous
16th August 2018
Thursday 6:24 pm
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Could be worse.
My last employer let me work my full months notice with barely a word to me, then offered me a raise on my very last day.

>> No. 12447 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 8:20 pm
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I get really bored when I'm not at work.

Anyone else?
16 posts omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12468 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 12:56 pm
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I'm not heavily into programming so can you tell me, for example, why you've referenced Python and Perl in the same context - by which I mean, you've used two languages to do the same thing, so why is that? Can you not do everything in one language? Why do you need both?
>> No. 12470 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:34 pm
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Programming languages are designed for different purposes, have different design philosophies and have particular strengths and weaknesses. A large proportion of programming involves working on existing code rather than writing stuff from scratch, so you need to know a variety of different languages. If you're working with a team that prefers Perl, you need to know Perl; if you're working on a project that was written in Python, you need to know Python.

Python and Perl are both scripting languages, meaning that they're relatively easy to write but not particularly efficient in terms of processor power. They're generally used for small bits of "glue code" that join together different systems. Python is a relatively modern language and has a reputation for being very clear and easy to read. Perl is a more terse language, which allows expert users to write useful one-line programs but makes it harder to read.

If you're writing a program that needs to be as fast as possible (e.g. a computer game or an operating system), you need to use a low-level language like C or Rust. These languages are designed to closely match the hardware of the computer, so they're easy for the computer to process but harder for a human to understand. Languages like Java and Go split the difference - they're much faster than Python, but easier to write than C.

If you're writing a web application, you have to use Javascript (or a language that can be translated to Javascript) because that's the only programming language that web browsers understand. If you're writing an iPhone app, you have to use Objective C or Swift.

Fortunately, most programming languages use fairly similar concepts, so it's not very difficult for an experienced programmer to pick up a new language. The specific syntax of a programming language is relatively simple compared to the underlying abstract concepts. The core challenge of programming is figuring out how to break down a complex task into lots of small, precise, repeatable tasks; everything else is really just admin.
>> No. 12471 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 2:12 pm
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None of that explains why the poster used both Python and Perl for the same thing.
>> No. 12472 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 2:57 pm
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Mostly because the interpreters were available on that machine and it's relatively easy to add more modules without root access if I need them.

The second reason is that I didn't know how to bootstrap pip (Python's package manager), how to install modules into my home directory and if the modules I needed were even available. Quite contrary with Perl.

The third reason is that I'm not really a programmer and don't know both languages even mildly decently.
>> No. 12477 Anonymous
5th August 2018
Sunday 12:44 am
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Not you again longstorylad

>> No. 11860 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 11:38 pm
11860 Moving into IT
Lads, I want to start a real career and I'd like to ask for your help.

I've been working as a private Mathematics tutor for nigh on five years now and I'm in a rut. Due to a combination of immaturity and personal issues whose details I won't bore you with I underperformed at uni and walked away from Manchester with a third in Physics. Not brilliant, but my own fault. I stumbled into the tutoring lark while looking for jobs but once I'd found I could make a comfortable living doing it little has changed in my life. I've been happy enough cruising through my twenties with my own place, girlfriends, , plenty of free time, all that good jazz, but something terrible has happened.

A few days ago I woke up and realised I'm hurtling towards 30 without any kind of solid career and little idea on how to retrain and at what level. As much as I enjoy being a tutor there isn't much in the way of progression and it's something I now feel I'd be happier doing to stay active when I'm retired. My friends have developed this alarming habit of getting married, one git actually has children as well, and I'm getting more left behind every day. I'm at the stage where people I know are always getting promoted or discussing mortgage and when I'm asked what I'm doing I start to wince at hearing myself repeat the same story.

Despite my third I'm not a complete thicko. I'm very good at Maths, as is expected of me, and I can write basic programs in quite a few languages, mostly C++, Java and Python. But my CV is all but empty spare for my tutoring and a clutch of very good A-levels which I'm sure count for fuck all. I have no references, no internships, essentially no indication that I can do much at all. I've been forbidden from entering teaching proper, not that I'd fancy doing it anyway, so for any other line of work I look like a blank slate.

Beggars can't be choosers and I'm not fussy about what area of IT I'd train for but would prefer something neither crushingly dull or likely to be automated within a few years. If I had the freedom to choose it would be something like data analysis, since I actually enjoy identifying statistical trends and building models based on them. What areas would you recommend and what qualifications are worth pursuing/ignoring?

Apologies if this is all a bit vague. Any guidance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
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>> No. 12469 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:01 pm
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An MSc probably won't pay off, because it's an expensive course and it's not massively more valuable to employers than a BSc. Your physics degree already demonstrates that you can deal with complex abstractions, which is the key aptitude across the IT industry.

Broadly speaking, good employers are more concerned with practical experience than formal qualifications. Being able to say "I did x, y and z at my last job" counts for more than "I learned x, y and z in a classroom". The kind of people you want to work for are capable of sussing out your real level of competence at interview. They also know that it's possible to bullshit your way through an academic qualification even if your practical skills are weak or nonexistent. It's a known problem that many Computing graduates are completely incapable of actually writing code [1]. Companies that really care about qualifications tend to be more bureaucratic and have non-technical managers, neither of which is good for workplace morale or your promotion prospects.

There are also a range of industry certifications that are much less costly than a Masters and highly respected - in the case of security, the CISSP and the CCIE Security Track. There are also some much less respected certifications that might impress a non-technical manager but are mickey mouse to the nth degree, so tread carefully.

[1] https://blog.codinghorror.com/why-cant-programmers-program/


Avoid recruiters like the plague. Everyone in the industry despises them. They're cynical opportunists who are just trying to scam employers out of a referral fee by spamming them with hundreds of candidates. Try to learn some stuff off your own back, apply for real vacancies and network as much as possible - if you live near a city of any real size, there should be plenty of IT meetups and networking events.
>> No. 12473 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 7:09 pm
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Yeah, thanks, I already knew about that. The problem is that 99% of the job offers that I see online are from recruiters/agencies. I will try to look for some meetups, that's a good idea.
>> No. 12474 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 8:52 pm
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Ask around for recommendations when it comes to recruiters. People in your area will typically know who are the ones that know their stuff and who to avoid. I got my current job through a recruiter that was recommended to me, and the process was surprisingly light on bullshit.

Absolutely never approach an agency through the front door though. Get a name and contact that person directly.
>> No. 12475 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 9:04 pm
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Sound advice, but easier said than done. I do not know anyone in the area apart from my former teacher, but he's a complete idiot more interested in box ticking than in actually teaching.
>> No. 12476 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 10:19 pm
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I agree with your advice on qualifications, particularly in information security; experience is far more important than any certificate. Another good way people get started in security is to actually work in an operations or support department of IT - those are are very good places to start "at the bottom" and work your way up in.

I don't agree so much with your recruiter advice though - you're definitely right that most of them are wankers, but they're still a necessary evil. Even if you start by looking directly at the various job-sites, nearly everything is done through a recruiter, very few companies actually recruit direct (civil/public servants excepted).

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