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>> No. 4012 Anonymous
14th December 2012
Friday 9:36 am
4012 spacer
Applying for JSA links
Both are a little out of date.
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>> No. 12125 Anonymous
23rd March 2018
Friday 11:57 pm
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Local elections in May, you know.
>> No. 12229 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 4:55 pm
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I've been disabled for the last couple of years, something I'm working on resolving, but I sometimes wonder how the DWP even functions.

They just called me, off their own back I didn't call them, to tell me that since fucking October I have been getting £75 a week LESS than I should have been (despite me questioning the amount at the time and informing them I thought it was a mistake) and they're chucking me an arrears payment of over £1200. How does a mistake that glaring go unnoticed for so long and who even noticed that it was wrong? Do they periodically assess claims? Bizarre.
>> No. 12230 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 10:29 pm
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My deadbeat dad briefly worked for the DHSS back in the early 70s. Nobody bothered to tell him what his job entailed, he was just shown to a desk with a massive pile of forms on it. After fruitlessly spending all day trying to find out what he was supposed to do with these forms, he just shoved them down the back of the desk and went home. Next day, new pile of forms, same routine. He quit after three weeks, because he had run out of places to hide the forms.

I imagine that little has changed at the DWP, except the pile of forms is now a massive Excel spreadsheet that takes nine minutes to load and crashes whenever you try and scroll right.
>> No. 12231 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 11:26 pm
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I've long fantasized that we could sack every single person who works for the DWP, bring in a universal income, and still save money in the long run. Useless cunts the lot of them.

>> No. 12418 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 5:05 pm
12418 Merchant Navy
Hi Lads, cadet from the travel-working thread here - I think the MN might be an interesting topic to discuss, especially as some other lads have questions.

I can only speak from the perspective of someone starting a cadetship, so can't contribute much, other than my agreement at the poster saying that it seems to be a good way out for someone without qualifications but a willingness to do the graft.
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>> No. 12422 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:19 pm
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I finished my cadetship nine years ago. I would've recommended it to anyone around then, but it can be a tough job market these days. If you're going to do a cadetship, I'd recommend the engineering route over deck, and if you're going to do a deck cadetship, try to get sponsored on an oil, gas, or chemical tanker, or some kind of DP ship like supply ships. Having specialised tickets from those ships will make it MUCH easier to get and keep a better paid job. Straight cargo is not recommended. Standby is okay, the pay is actually pretty good, but it can be a dead end career.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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Got any stories about cruise work? I've heard it can be low pay and the 4months on, 2 off ratio can become a bit gruelling. I wonder if the amenities really make up for it.
>> No. 12431 Anonymous
18th July 2018
Wednesday 1:48 am
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I've never worked on cruise ships but you're right. They don't sound like my cup of tea but I've heard they can be a good laugh. Tiny cabins, low pay, putting up with guests, long trips, and from what I hear surprisingly unprofessional. Plus junior bridge officers are basically just radar operators. You won't have many duties, so there's lots you won't learn. If you get a job on a standby boat, you'll be in charge of a bridge watch (not understudying) and you'll be doing the chart work and you'll be doing the safety checks, so you'll learn a lot faster.

If you work on a cruise ship, you'll have the opportunity to get pissed up and you'll meet some top international strange. So it's your choice.
>> No. 12433 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 4:56 pm
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I recall reading from a former cruise line employee that the underlings always have their own semi-official bar buried deep in the bowels of the ship that as a passenger you will never, ever be allowed to enter and it's basically a crazed, gin-soaked, all-hours bacchanalia. He evinced surprised that anyone was ever sober enough to do their job.
>> No. 12434 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 8:12 pm
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>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
1795 spacer
ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
3101 posts and 106 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 12426 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 7:52 pm
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We had a work experience lad in today and he couldn't even muster the fucking grace to at least pretend to be interested, and wouldn't pay attention to any of the instructions I gave him and assumed that as he'd been shown a similar process before, he knew all the software for this separate process, then fucked it up so I had to take the mouse off him and fix it every time. Fucking public school kid and all. Stupid haircut and those faded red chino shorts. Explains the massive sense of entitlement and complete faith in his own non-existent judgement.

I'm almost glad to be going to a funeral tomorrow instead of having to spend time with him again. I hope he gets bullied back at Prufrock Prep or wherever the upper classes board their turds, the little git.
>> No. 12427 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 7:58 pm
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>I have a towel in the car I put on the steering wheel. I also leave the windows slightly ajar.
None of us really want to know what you get up to in car parks at night.
>> No. 12428 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 8:16 pm
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>Explains the massive sense of entitlement and complete faith in his own non-existent judgement

Whilst many public school kids are twats, this unwarranted faith in their ability isn't just limited to them. If we ever hire a graduate fresh out of university then they generally don't take notes when they're being trained because they're confident they can remember it all, which inevitably leads to them monumentally fucking up about the second or third time they attempt to do it; the company I work for prefers to employ graduates who've spent a year or so in a dead-end job because they're far more grounded and switched on.
>> No. 12429 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 8:21 pm
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I've just escaped after 4 years in a shit graduate job and I still don't take notes.
>> No. 12432 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 11:43 am
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Not gonna lie mate but at 16 or however old I was when I did work experience I didn't give a fuck either, sure you didn't too.

>> No. 12399 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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World citizens, tell me about your experiences living and working (or travelling) abroad. I'm not well travelled myself, and it is something I'd like to do. I'm at a "career junction" at the moment, and I have FOMO - that while I'm tappity tapping away at my keyboard and supping instant coffee in an airconned open-plan, there's a mad rush of "real activity" and opportunity in Africa, China and India.

Apologies for the duplicate post.
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>> No. 12413 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
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Is 24/25 too old to get on board (mirth) with something like the Merchant Navy? I'm a web dev by trade but I feel that it's much more suited to a hobby. I'm in good physical shape but not so much mentally and I figure a lot of that is down to my dissatisfaction with the state of the country and my own career.

Any advice or anecdotes would be great, especially those focusing on South-East Asia (Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, etc.)
>> No. 12415 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:06 pm
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A narrated video guide for what you can expect:

>> No. 12416 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:20 pm
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Not too old. There's no requirement to be in physical shape. I have no advice as I didn't stick it long. Being a webdev is cushy, being in an engine room not so much. While the ETO cadet who has been working shit jobs since he's 16 will appreciate solid hours and qualifications (and qualifications is why you do it - not for travel, because there's no guarantee of shore runs in any ports), you may not. The best companies are BP, Shell and the RFA, followed by the "big container companies". That said, for the college portions of the training the point is moot, as you all study at the same colleges (Warsash, Fleetwood or somewhere in Scotland) and take the same modules. Start a MN thread if you want to discuss this.
>> No. 12417 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 5:00 pm
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Isn't this the point of the thread, to talk about the MN, and any other jobs which involve travel?
>> No. 12423 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:23 pm
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Being a deck officer can be a bit cushy. 90% of the job is drinking tea, smoking fags, and staring out of the window.

>> No. 11860 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 11:38 pm
11860 Moving into IT
Lads, I want to start a real career and I'd like to ask for your help.

I've been working as a private Mathematics tutor for nigh on five years now and I'm in a rut. Due to a combination of immaturity and personal issues whose details I won't bore you with I underperformed at uni and walked away from Manchester with a third in Physics. Not brilliant, but my own fault. I stumbled into the tutoring lark while looking for jobs but once I'd found I could make a comfortable living doing it little has changed in my life. I've been happy enough cruising through my twenties with my own place, girlfriends, , plenty of free time, all that good jazz, but something terrible has happened.

A few days ago I woke up and realised I'm hurtling towards 30 without any kind of solid career and little idea on how to retrain and at what level. As much as I enjoy being a tutor there isn't much in the way of progression and it's something I now feel I'd be happier doing to stay active when I'm retired. My friends have developed this alarming habit of getting married, one git actually has children as well, and I'm getting more left behind every day. I'm at the stage where people I know are always getting promoted or discussing mortgage and when I'm asked what I'm doing I start to wince at hearing myself repeat the same story.

Despite my third I'm not a complete thicko. I'm very good at Maths, as is expected of me, and I can write basic programs in quite a few languages, mostly C++, Java and Python. But my CV is all but empty spare for my tutoring and a clutch of very good A-levels which I'm sure count for fuck all. I have no references, no internships, essentially no indication that I can do much at all. I've been forbidden from entering teaching proper, not that I'd fancy doing it anyway, so for any other line of work I look like a blank slate.

Beggars can't be choosers and I'm not fussy about what area of IT I'd train for but would prefer something neither crushingly dull or likely to be automated within a few years. If I had the freedom to choose it would be something like data analysis, since I actually enjoy identifying statistical trends and building models based on them. What areas would you recommend and what qualifications are worth pursuing/ignoring?

Apologies if this is all a bit vague. Any guidance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
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>> No. 11865 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 4:08 pm
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My grandfather spent most of his late twenties picking through the rubble of Berlin looking for plump rats. We're doing alright.
>> No. 11866 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 4:22 pm
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My parents spent their late twenties shopping for a three bedroom semi in which to raise their two kids, while my father worked a secure job and my mother started working a secure job. You can shove your rats up your arse.
>> No. 11867 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 4:45 pm
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>You can shove your rats up your arse.

Those devious bloody Germans.
>> No. 11870 Anonymous
11th January 2018
Thursday 5:37 pm
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My dad is 59 now and nevet had a proper full time job until he was 27, he just coasted until then. He's doing alright now.
>> No. 12390 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 10:11 pm
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I want to thank everyone in this thread who offered advice and encouragement. I've landed an interview for the position of Graduate Data Analyst on Monday, the first opening I've applied for. They responded within hours of my email.

My search for Data Analysis/Science resources led me to kaggle.com which is an excellent place if you already know extremely bog-standard stats and programming. The free courses there vary in quality but there are some fantastic user-made tutorials as well. After a few patchy months of learning here and there, I buckled down and focused on publishing a full project on a dataset with all the bits and bobs. Exploratory analysis, data cleaning, creating maps, visualisation, imputation and predictive modelling all in a full write-up. I'd post it here but it has my real name on it.

I'm really chuffed but not pinning all my hopes on the preliminary 'informal chat' with the Head of Analysis. I fully expect to go in and find out my knowledge is severly lacking in ways that embarrass me. But they'll be lessons learned for next time, and if I can get called in for one such position why not a hundred more? There are plenty of openings across the country. This has been a real confidence booster so cheers lads. I hadn't resolved to this path before asking around here so you really did help - and the more I've learned about this field the more I find I enjoy it. It's the perfect combination of disciplines for me. For the first time in a long time I'm finding happiness in education.

Now I'd like to ask for some help in a rather different matter. Keeping my options open I've also been shopping around for one-year masters in various subjects that interest me and I've recieved an offer from a decent university for their Cybersecurity MSc. Having spoken face-to-face with the lecturers they're satisfied with my capabilities and are happy to bend the rules so they can take me on board. Even better, if I land a full-time job the course can be done part-time over two years instead which takes off the pressure.

But here's the thing. The course in many ways looks fantastic, and the lecturers I've spoken to are well accredited. A couple I haven't met yet were 'public sector' employees. The topics are cutting edge and cover everything from Advanced AI in Security to Digital Forensics. Every syllabus is updated yearly. It isn't a Mickey Mouse enterprise by any means. What concerns me is that the course doesn't require any specific programming of your own, nor any real mathematical expertise since it doesn't cover the nitty gritty of cryptography. Now, I like the idea of becoming a data analyst while studying a comprehensive primer to security principles. My instincts tell me that the combination would dovetail into rather specialist roles. But I suppose what I'm asking is, it worth doing when I don't come from a strictly CS background? In the tech sector, is such a Masters worth anything, or is it greeted with the certain derision that overly-specialised qualifications can sometimes expect? I'm sending an email that addresses my concerns to the main lecturer I spoke to, rather more delicately mind, but obviously bias comes into play so I thought I'd ask the resident techies here. Is someone with an excellent overall knowledge of security, but sans the ability to code these sorts of tools himself someone who'd be offered work?

As before, any help greatly appreciated.

>> No. 12376 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 3:59 am
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My usual summer job of nights at ASDA has fallen through so I've found myself working in a supermarket distribution centre.

It's absolutely gruelling I wouldn't mind it particularly if they didn't enforce six hours without so much as a cig break being allowed. The shifts are nine hours and only one 30 minute break is given, when the manager says you can.

I thought the H&SAW1974 specified a 5 mins break for every hour?

Pic taken in the bogs at the place.
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>> No. 12386 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:22 pm
12386 spacer

Look what happened to Elvis.
>> No. 12387 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:25 pm
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No it's the Middle Eastern enrichers, our first world toilets are confusing for third world poopers.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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It's absolute tedium. Even when "busy" - it's the most mind numbing work that in a lot of places has been automated. 9 hours feels like 9 months. I have insoles.

The supermarket was about £3 over minimum wage - night work.

The break was, across 8 hours, up to 30 mins (unpaid) for dinner break, and another 10 min (paid) break towards the end of the night, but you could take them whenever you felt like. If you took less break you'd be paid.
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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I should also add I've worked in a car factory - 9h30 shifts with regular, timed breaks and allowances made for small rests. The union was particularly strong there, thought.
>> No. 12391 Anonymous
19th June 2018
Tuesday 7:26 pm
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Well, the job has brought my long-dormant joint problems back - I had to crawl up and down stairs; that's the end of that, I guess.

I tried explaining this to the agency and the first time they didn't listen to a word I said, offering me the job I'm already on. When I said everything again, and asked if they had any less physical jobs - driving, or data entry for example, I got the world's blankest look, like I'd spoken to them in Klingon.

I've said I can't work until I get a doctor's appointment. Trying to fight for a doctor's appointment is battle royale on the phone lines.

Looking for temporary jobs, you either need a class C+ licence to drive, or it's the same brutal warehouse work which my own body will not let me do.

Guess I'll just have to keep looking.

>> No. 12310 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 7:14 am
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I attended a couple of session with an employment advisor for disabled people. I honestly want to get back to work and I am about to get a qualification. He gave me some advice:

* Go to civil service portal and apply to all office based jobs, even those that I am completely unqualified for.

* Also, not having a clue of how to do the job or even what the job entails is completely not a problem.

* Go to a charity and ask them for advice. It turned out that the charity had absolutely nothing available and was specialised for older people asking their employers to make workplace adjustments.

* Apply for everything under the sun. If I cannot do my job, lose my benefits and get fired, that is not a problem. "You have got to accept some risks if you want to improve your situation."

* Try to wheedle more money from the local council.

* Be more positive, smile more.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 12312 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 10:04 am
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I had the same idea. Well, at least we ticked a lot of boxes, we made a lot of paperwork and we managed to keep another useless person employed. Holy fuck, this country is so fucked up that it makes the Administratum from 40K look sane.
>> No. 12313 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 1:24 pm
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I think the problem here is that 9 out of 10 people going to see these advisers do actually need that level of advice.
>> No. 12314 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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I think you got it right. I never thought that some people could sincerely need this kind of help.

By the way, I know people under ESA and all of them are perfectly able bodied, working cash in hand and enjoying the benefits. Probably the people that honestly want to get back in the workforce are a minority.
>> No. 12375 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 3:08 pm
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Jesus Fucking Christ

I had the last meeting with the advisor, and finally had enough. I told him to fuck off. I've never seen so much uselessness in a single place.

First, he tried to contact several government offices. None of them answered, assuming that he made the enquiries in the first place.
Second, his winning advice was to print paper copies of my CV and sent them to random employers, since "an email can be deleted immediately, a paper CV has more value." Some employees answered, all telling him to just email a CV in the website.
Third, when I asked what incentives are being given to the employers to hire disabled people, he answered "no tangible benefits apart for gaining potentially a great employer and good publicity for the company". I tried to tell him that money talks, bullshit walks, but he answered that "you only have to get lucky once".

That program is a total scam. More than one million pounds have been spent in an useless program that gives no real, tangible help to disabled people. This is Third World level of corruption and mismanagement.

If you ever see a leaflet or a poster in a public place advertising a gov't program to help disabled people to go into work, run away. It's a scam, and it is geared towards stopping your benefits since you are well enough to look for work by yourself.

Fuck my life.
>> No. 12381 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 1:27 pm
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Back in the day, 40k was satirical to some extent. What do you think they based all that on

Now let's all go watch the Adam Curtis documentary about the grace of caring machines or whatever it was called. Sums things up nicely. We individual humans are now little more in input/output units in some cont'd spreadsheet.

>> No. 12215 Anonymous
23rd April 2018
Monday 12:33 pm
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Lads, does an 'informal' interview warrant a suit? Call centre job.
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>> No. 12368 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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Always. Dress for the job you want.
>> No. 12370 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 10:43 am
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I went to my last interview dressed like Batman and I got kicked out of the reception by security. So that piece of advice is obviously bollocks.
>> No. 12371 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 11:59 am
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Alright, which comedian did you nick that off? If you didn't prepare to see Lee Mack saying it on Live at the Apollo soon.
>> No. 12372 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 5:14 pm
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>> No. 12373 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 12:34 am
12373 spacer
Fair enough.

>> No. 12358 Anonymous
10th June 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
12358 spacer
Have any of you lad/lassm8s held a regular job while being a spare time military reserve?

I'm learning nothing new in my bland corporate job, so I'm thinking of trying for something like communications in the RAF.

Tell me why this idea is silly/great.
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>> No. 12364 Anonymous
10th June 2018
Sunday 9:55 pm
12364 spacer

There are minimum health and fitness requirements for all branches of the forces. Regardless of your role, you may be required to carry out strenuous physical tasks or operate in remote environments with minimal medical facilities. There are obviously significant variations in what might be required of you, which will be taken into account during a medical examination and physical fitness tests.

An engineer on a submarine doesn't have to do much running about, but they might have to perform physically demanding tasks on heavy machinery in a very cramped compartment. The submarine fleet has some of the strictest medical requirements, because of the need to operate covertly while on patrol. If someone falls seriously ill, arranging a medical evacuation might take days or even weeks. You don't have to be super fit to serve on a submarine, but relatively minor health problems like a food allergy or a heart murmur might disqualify you, because they could prove life-threatening in that environment.
>> No. 12365 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 11:30 am
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Hang on, 'pedia says it's also called' super kidney'
Is that something they tell kids, or is that what you write on your navy job app?
>> No. 12366 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:28 pm
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OP here. The more I search this idea, the more appealing it becomes. I was also looking for paid work to do in my off-time.

I imagine that most companies aren't particularly thrilled to hear you'll be signing up. How can I break this to them gently and not lose my bland corporate job?
>> No. 12367 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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I think thats the easy part actually - most employers will be pleased you're doing something like this out of work, even with the attendant risks. Also, I think its totally illegal for them to try and get rid of you while you're a reservist.
>> No. 12369 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:51 pm
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You'll need to check your contract of employment - some contracts have a clause restricting your right to work elsewhere. The MoD will inform your employer that you've signed up, so you do need to tell them.

If you do get deployed, your employer is legally obliged to keep your job open for you, but they don't have to keep paying your salary while you're away. The MoD will pay most of the costs of recruiting and training a temporary replacement, so they won't be significantly out of pocket unless you're genuinely irreplaceable.

All reservist units have an Employer Support Officer who can advise you on how to talk to your employer about enlisting. Serving as a reservist can be sold to your employer in positive terms - you'll gain teamwork and leadership skills, you're doing your bit for the country etc.

It's also worth checking to see if your employer has signed the Armed Forces Covenant.



>> No. 12198 Anonymous
22nd April 2018
Sunday 6:35 pm
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Is the Financial independence Retire Early (FIRE) idea a fantasy?
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>> No. 12304 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:25 pm
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It's not very profitable, especially if you earn money elsewhere since it's taxable income now.
>> No. 12305 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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It's always been taxable income. The ongoing change removes the mortgage interest deductible which, yes, will increase taxable income for many.
>> No. 12306 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:34 pm
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Only if you declare it.
>> No. 12307 Anonymous
22nd May 2018
Tuesday 10:59 pm
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Sure, double down on the dickishness by dodging your dues too.
>> No. 12308 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 2:18 pm
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That's lovely alliteration.

>> No. 12171 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 5:19 pm
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On a works night out a female manager kicked me in the balls twice, lots of witnesses, I work for a very large food chain retailer, Could I sue?
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>> No. 12177 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 7:01 pm
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Why did she do it?
>> No. 12179 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 8:12 pm
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I'm guessing 'banter'
>> No. 12181 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 1:10 am
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You need to report her to the police before HR really. It's assault.
>> No. 12183 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 1:55 am
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I'm calling bollocks.
>> No. 12187 Anonymous
18th April 2018
Wednesday 9:29 am
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Stop being a silly fanny, she wants the cock.

>> No. 12159 Anonymous
8th April 2018
Sunday 9:19 pm
12159 Big Softie
Hi guys. I'm pretty unhappy at work. I've been a software developer for 6 months. My team contribution is negligible. I doubt the value of the work, and particularly the value of my work. I'm quite isolated. I stay late most days and take work home for the weekend. It's a big open-plan but I say maybe 3 sentences in a day. I want to ask my manager if I can move onto a different project where I'm able to contribute but it feels inappropriate. I'm not sure if I'm learning anything, and if I am, whether what I'm learning is valuable. I don't want to leave because if I can't hack a job sitting on my ass for 9 hours, what job can I hack. It seems as though people would kill to get into software, so shouldn't I be counting my blessings?

After my whinge, can you tell me about crises and direction changes in your careers?
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>> No. 12166 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 6:50 pm
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Is it a dick move to take a full time permanent job, with the intention to leave after four months? I suspended uni for the year, managed to get a full time job offer this month, but I'm planning on returning to uni in September.
>> No. 12167 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 7:07 pm
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Depends on the job, how easy to replace are you? If the answer is very, don't sweat it.
>> No. 12168 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 7:59 pm
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I recently interviewed for a community health organisation who said they were desperate to staff their temporary role because as soon as they train someone up they leave for a permanent position elsewhere. So I'd say yeah try not to fuck people around if they are doing good work.
>> No. 12169 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 9:30 pm
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I am a software developer of ~10 years.

> It's a big open-plan but I say maybe 3 sentences in a day.

Open plan offices are less sociable than small ones, in my experience: its more difficult to have a conversation with the people in your team when you can hear five other people talking and you have people constantly walking around you.

It can also be hard to get to know people in a big office where everyone seems to be working on something different. You have to make an effort to talk to people, ask them what they are doing, how long they have worked there, how their weekend was, etc.

> I want to ask my manager if I can move onto a different project where I'm able to contribute but it feels inappropriate. I'm not sure if I'm learning anything, and if I am, whether what I'm learning is valuable

Ask your manager to move, and tell them what you feel about not learning anything. Dealing with requests like that is part of their job as your manager. Its not inappropriate.

You could try a different company, too. Work environment and the friendliness of your colleagues vary *alot*.
>> No. 12170 Anonymous
9th April 2018
Monday 9:52 pm
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How big is the company you work for, and the dev team within that?

I've never worked for a big company, but I can imagine hating it. Both jobs I've had in software have been for small companies (10 or so people), and I've found it generally decent. I get on well with everyone, support guys, sales guys etc. It's a whole different culture: basically just get shit done, without too much management bollocks in the way.

>> No. 12145 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 3:39 pm
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In Jan I had a weird incident when driving, it was like a blackout for <1 seconds but it was enough to be noticable. I may have just fallen asleep.

Anyway I've been referred to the neurological unit about it. I just learnt an 'unexplained' blackout can be liable to having your driving license revoked for 12 months.

This is utterly devastating. I cannot operate without my car, I live 45 miles from work for fucks sake and public transport would take me 3h one way at best and cost a shittonne to boot.

How do I dig myself out of this

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>> No. 12153 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 5:33 pm
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>Fuck all that 'putting other people at risk' shit, if it happens I'll be sorry then
Well, yeah, if that happens being unable to drive for a year will be the least of your problems.
>> No. 12154 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 5:59 pm
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Yes, it will, but until then I am able to support myself. After that I will not.
>> No. 12155 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 6:18 pm
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It's all making sense now.

The rumours on /iq/ about Peter Kay. A thread here about potential brain defects and talk of joining a car pool. There's news articles today about the finale of Peter Kay's Car Share. It's all adding up. Keep your eyes open, lads.

We've been invaded by subliminal advertisers, lads.
>> No. 12156 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 6:24 pm
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In that case, I hope you like it up the bum.
>> No. 12158 Anonymous
7th April 2018
Saturday 8:47 pm
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My advice blackoutlad is to take a look at yourself and not be another Harry Clarke. He was the fatty binwagon driver that also experienced blackouts due to a medical condition and held it back from his employer to keep his job. You just don't know what's going to happen. I've just been through a central nervous system issue and I know how these changes can affect the quality of life you led before your body or head decided to shit on you, picking up the pieces and adapting afterwards can be right fuckabout. I know it's a depressing mindfuck but I'd never be able to live with the thought that I'd blacked out on the road and wiped out a family or some kids on the way to school. I wish you the best otherlad but sometimes you have to accept the inevitable and live with it amongst support and love. All the best mate and hope you don't go proper mental.

>> No. 12126 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 7:55 pm
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Evening, lads.

I've found myself in the position where I'm responsible for recruitment for my department at work. The main problem is that I really despise recruitment consultants and I know that the moment I place an advert on traditional job websites they'll start hounding me. I really cannot underline how much I hate them. Consequently, I want to consider alternative forms of recruiting and I can only think of two off the top of my head:-

• A staff referral scheme. They had this at the place I worked before and I'd have said almost a third of staff in the equivalent department were recruited in this way; a payment of up to £3,000 was made for each person you referred, depending on their skills and experience, and this was a lot cheaper than recruitment consultants.

• Targeting universities. This would be playing the long game as we'd be talking at least 2/3 years of entry level work before they'd be grounded enough to take a trainee position in my department but there's no harm in getting the ball rolling now. I wouldn't be arsed to go to any careers fairs, but I know universities these days are competitive and like to do all they can to improve their graduate employability figures so I could probably place an advert with them and let them do all the running.

Anything else you lads can think of?
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>> No. 12140 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 10:49 pm
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> What's wrong with the likes of implementing a staff referral scheme

You run the risk of people dragging in anyone with a pulses in hopes of getting them hired for the bonus, coaching them for phone screens and interviews using insider knowledge. Additionally, it can cause friction if you chose not to hire a referal with whom your existing employee has a good relationship or otherwise thinks highly off.

But then again, a referred candidate likely has a decent idea of what the job involves and is thus more likely to apply for the job because they want that role in particular. Additionally, if suitable candidates are scarce, it gives you an in with people already employed elsewhere who might be tempted to switch jobs.

Overall its a reasonable method to find candidates, but it's certainly not a no-brainer.
>> No. 12141 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 11:35 pm
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>people already employed elsewhere who might be tempted to switch jobs
Bear in mind that you'll have to pay a substantial premium for these, which together with the referral fee might eat up any savings you make against the cuntsultant's commission. Certainly if I were the person being referred for a fee, I'd be wanting a similar amount myself as a signing-on bonus, on top of an above-market salary.
>> No. 12143 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 2:11 am
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I always just put 'NO AGENCIES - no finders fee available' at the bottom. If any agents ring just tell them you already stated no agencies and hang up. It's not that big a deal, and you'll probably not get any contacting you.
>> No. 12144 Anonymous
5th April 2018
Thursday 7:49 pm
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Make it a good place to work, then advertise the fact. Simple.
>> No. 12180 Anonymous
17th April 2018
Tuesday 8:22 pm
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I rang around recruitment consultants yesterday morning. They really are masters of bullshit. Most of them have placed job adverts with almost entirely fictitious descriptions of the company. Some have inflated the salary on offer by over £20,000 despite this being discussed clearly on the phone. It's also apparent that a number of recruitment consultants we don't have fee agreements with have cloned the adverts, so any candidates who send their CVs over to them will be utterly fucked if we don't agree to their terms.

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