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>> No. 4012 Anonymous
14th December 2012
Friday 9:36 am
4012 spacer
Stickied
Applying for JSA links
http://pastebin.com/5vJCh4HQ
http://www.urban75.com/Action/Jsa/jsa2.html
Both are a little out of date.
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>> No. 12229 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 4:55 pm
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>>4012
I've been disabled for the last couple of years, something I'm working on resolving, but I sometimes wonder how the DWP even functions.

They just called me, off their own back I didn't call them, to tell me that since fucking October I have been getting £75 a week LESS than I should have been (despite me questioning the amount at the time and informing them I thought it was a mistake) and they're chucking me an arrears payment of over £1200. How does a mistake that glaring go unnoticed for so long and who even noticed that it was wrong? Do they periodically assess claims? Bizarre.
>> No. 12230 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 10:29 pm
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>>12229

My deadbeat dad briefly worked for the DHSS back in the early 70s. Nobody bothered to tell him what his job entailed, he was just shown to a desk with a massive pile of forms on it. After fruitlessly spending all day trying to find out what he was supposed to do with these forms, he just shoved them down the back of the desk and went home. Next day, new pile of forms, same routine. He quit after three weeks, because he had run out of places to hide the forms.

I imagine that little has changed at the DWP, except the pile of forms is now a massive Excel spreadsheet that takes nine minutes to load and crashes whenever you try and scroll right.
>> No. 12231 Anonymous
25th April 2018
Wednesday 11:26 pm
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>>12229

I've long fantasized that we could sack every single person who works for the DWP, bring in a universal income, and still save money in the long run. Useless cunts the lot of them.
>> No. 12516 Anonymous
9th August 2018
Thursday 12:44 am
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>>12231
Unfortunately that would require the admin costs to be 110x higher than they currently are.

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>> No. 1795 Anonymous
27th May 2011
Friday 6:32 pm
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ITT: Workplace annoyances.

I'll get the ball rolling - having to bring in pastries on your birthday. I know it's cheaper if people bring their own in on their birthday instead of chipping in every time someone in the office has a birthday, but it's still fucking annoying having to fork out on your birthday.
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>> No. 12606 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 5:51 pm
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>>12605

Mid September is considered late for Christmas time? Holy shit. I don't know what I'm doing for dinner tonight and I have guests arriving in 30 minutes.
>> No. 12607 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 6:07 pm
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>>12606

When you're trying to book something like an office do for 50+ people, anywhere past June is getting late. Christmas is the busiest time of the year and it's hard to find places that cater for big parties.

My work hasn't booked it yet either, because nobody trusts last year's organiser, but nobody can be arsed to do it themselves either. Looks like my only half joking backup plan of going to KFC is going to become a reality.
>> No. 12608 Anonymous
13th September 2018
Thursday 6:51 pm
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>>12606

Most restaurants are fully booked for December by the start of September. Nicer places or those more routinely suited to large parties will be full often before summer. A great many companies will book their table an entire year in advance, it's very common for people to ask if they can book again for next Christmas while they're still sat there waiting for their dessert to arrive.
>> No. 12615 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 11:29 am
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EVERYONE IS COUGHING AND SNEEZING, SPREADING THEIR GERMS.
>> No. 12616 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 11:45 am
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>>12615
I've had the good sense to cancel everything this week, as I'm loaded with flu. Fucking honestly man, freshers are riddled. Missus started college and had a cold on the first day.

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>> No. 12568 Anonymous
3rd September 2018
Monday 3:09 pm
12568 Can somebody translate this?
Can somebody translate this sentence in plain English? It's the answer that I got after a job interview. I aced the technical part, but I struggled a bit with the chatting with the bosses.


"We felt you were very personable, however we did not feel that you are the right cultural fit for the organisation at this time."

Thanks, lads. Now I am going to get plastered. I really wanted that job.
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>> No. 12611 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 1:21 pm
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>>12609

This >>12610
IE, wear a ballgag and leather cuffs at the interview, works every time.
>> No. 12612 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 1:25 pm
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>>12580
Your analogy still essentially likens HR personnel to a U-bend, so ultimately it seems like we agree.
>> No. 12613 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 5:42 pm
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>>12610

I know, Amazon corporate culture is total shit. The job is marginally better because it is in tech support and not one of those slaves in picking/packing. I do not expect to stay long there, just about ten months to improve my CV. At least I am childless and alone, so I can devote myself fully to the workplace. The interviewer is going to appreciate it.
>> No. 12614 Anonymous
18th September 2018
Tuesday 6:02 pm
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>>12613
Tell them that you've licensed your intellectual property to an offshore company through which you'll have to be paid.
>> No. 12617 Anonymous
19th September 2018
Wednesday 5:22 pm
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>>12573
It could well be a cop out or template response, but it could be this exactly. You may all be on the spectrum IT nerds, but there are still people with different preferences and roles to play.

For example, having one person obsessed with process can be beneficial in keeping the rest of the team from cutting corners and building tech debt; have too many of those and they start downward spiral of process over progress. When that person quits, they may want another one.

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>> No. 12581 Anonymous
5th September 2018
Wednesday 11:17 am
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What are some things that you can get qualified for relatively quickly that would get you a job paying more than the minimum wage? The first thing that springs to mind is an SIA (security guard) licence course.

My definition of relatively quickly is fairly loose so feel free to suggest anything from one week to half a year, the higher resulting pay the better.
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>> No. 12593 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 2:19 pm
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>>12591

>It seems like it'd be a much more stressful job on our cramped roads.

I know what you mean, but at the end of the day, you can't control the traffic, so if someones having a go at you for being late, all you have to do is show them the congestion report from the M25.

I think what appeals to me about the job, other than the fact I find driving inherently relaxing, even on a deadline, is that you can only legally work so many hours in a day. Some of the jobs I've had, I'd have killed to be able to point at my tachometer and sit down in a corner for four hours. Plus I've never seen anyone cut up an HGV on the motorway.
>> No. 12595 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 3:22 pm
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>>12592
Isn't the military a bit funny about that? Also has laser eye surgery gotten safer over the last couple of decades, I seem to vaguely recall reading some horror stories about it as a kid.
>> No. 12597 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 6:56 pm
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>>12587

>I looked into the military but my shitty eyesight disqualifies me.

There's no barrier to entry on any eyesight issues that can be corrected with glasses/contacts, in any branch of the british military. There might be some restrictions for obvious things like being a fighter pilot, but other than that, you should get in.

Unless you're legally blind, but I feel like you would have mentioned that already.
>> No. 12598 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 7:45 pm
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>>12597
Even if he is, he could always go and work for the MoD's procurement division.
>> No. 12599 Anonymous
6th September 2018
Thursday 9:11 pm
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>>12597
Pretty sure all the branches set a limit of -6.50 on people who need to wear glasses.

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>> No. 12500 Anonymous
8th August 2018
Wednesday 12:21 am
12500 Probation
My contract states that during the 6 month probation period my employer can give me a week's notice. Under a different clause, it's stated that I must give a month's notice - regardless of whether I'm on probation or not.

At my previous place, during probation, it was a week each. Is this imbalance (my month's notice to my employer's week) unusual?
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>> No. 12517 Anonymous
9th August 2018
Thursday 2:30 am
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>>12513

Nah, just book your holiday. You don't owe them anything and you're playing by the rules. I doubt anyone will even notice what you've done, particularly if they don't know the timeline of this other offer.

Mind you if all you're doing is essentially transferring to another department, why do you think your manager wouldn't find out about it? And why would you need a notice period to get a different job with the same company?
>> No. 12518 Anonymous
9th August 2018
Thursday 6:55 pm
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>>12511

And any of that stops you from just not turning up how, exactly?

Or, if you think they're going to sue you over contract law and you were mug enough to sign a contract specifying a three month notice period, turning up and putting your feet on the desk and farting like a complete cunt every minute or so while playing angry birds on your phone, taking half hour fag breaks every 15 minutes and a three hour lunch every day, from which you come back smelling of cheap whores' perfume and stale Stella? They'll soon ask you to just stop coming in.
>> No. 12522 Anonymous
11th August 2018
Saturday 1:57 pm
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>>12517
You still need to work notice periods even transferring between departments. I know this, as that's how I transferred into this job. I also know exactly who will be interviewing me, and how sodding lazy they are about actually pursuing references. Typing it all out made me realise that if I did try to leave them in the lurch it would just be an attempt at cheap revenge, which might not stand me in the best stead for ever going back at a later date. I think I will still book the holiday, but make up some shit about my parents taking me to Italy for a long-overdue summer break (which, actually, they have offered to do) and act like I'm sorry I'm leaving. Y'know, if I get the job. I really need to get the job. I haven't spoken to anyone else about it in an effort to keep it hush so you two are getting all my pent-up mulling over on the situation, sorry. Thanks.
>> No. 12558 Anonymous
16th August 2018
Thursday 6:22 pm
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>>12522
An update, for anyone who cares: my current role have just offered me a potential change of contract, offering more hours and more responsibility. Someone has fucking snitched on me, I know it.

Bugger and blast it all.
>> No. 12559 Anonymous
16th August 2018
Thursday 6:24 pm
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>>12558
Could be worse.
My last employer let me work my full months notice with barely a word to me, then offered me a raise on my very last day.

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>> No. 12447 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 8:20 pm
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I get really bored when I'm not at work.

Anyone else?
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>> No. 12468 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 12:56 pm
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>>12467
I'm not heavily into programming so can you tell me, for example, why you've referenced Python and Perl in the same context - by which I mean, you've used two languages to do the same thing, so why is that? Can you not do everything in one language? Why do you need both?
>> No. 12470 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:34 pm
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>>12468

Programming languages are designed for different purposes, have different design philosophies and have particular strengths and weaknesses. A large proportion of programming involves working on existing code rather than writing stuff from scratch, so you need to know a variety of different languages. If you're working with a team that prefers Perl, you need to know Perl; if you're working on a project that was written in Python, you need to know Python.

Python and Perl are both scripting languages, meaning that they're relatively easy to write but not particularly efficient in terms of processor power. They're generally used for small bits of "glue code" that join together different systems. Python is a relatively modern language and has a reputation for being very clear and easy to read. Perl is a more terse language, which allows expert users to write useful one-line programs but makes it harder to read.

If you're writing a program that needs to be as fast as possible (e.g. a computer game or an operating system), you need to use a low-level language like C or Rust. These languages are designed to closely match the hardware of the computer, so they're easy for the computer to process but harder for a human to understand. Languages like Java and Go split the difference - they're much faster than Python, but easier to write than C.

If you're writing a web application, you have to use Javascript (or a language that can be translated to Javascript) because that's the only programming language that web browsers understand. If you're writing an iPhone app, you have to use Objective C or Swift.

Fortunately, most programming languages use fairly similar concepts, so it's not very difficult for an experienced programmer to pick up a new language. The specific syntax of a programming language is relatively simple compared to the underlying abstract concepts. The core challenge of programming is figuring out how to break down a complex task into lots of small, precise, repeatable tasks; everything else is really just admin.
>> No. 12471 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 2:12 pm
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>>12470
None of that explains why the poster used both Python and Perl for the same thing.
>> No. 12472 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 2:57 pm
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>>12468
Mostly because the interpreters were available on that machine and it's relatively easy to add more modules without root access if I need them.

The second reason is that I didn't know how to bootstrap pip (Python's package manager), how to install modules into my home directory and if the modules I needed were even available. Quite contrary with Perl.

The third reason is that I'm not really a programmer and don't know both languages even mildly decently.
>> No. 12477 Anonymous
5th August 2018
Sunday 12:44 am
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>>12470

Not you again longstorylad

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>> No. 11860 Anonymous
10th January 2018
Wednesday 11:38 pm
11860 Moving into IT
Lads, I want to start a real career and I'd like to ask for your help.

I've been working as a private Mathematics tutor for nigh on five years now and I'm in a rut. Due to a combination of immaturity and personal issues whose details I won't bore you with I underperformed at uni and walked away from Manchester with a third in Physics. Not brilliant, but my own fault. I stumbled into the tutoring lark while looking for jobs but once I'd found I could make a comfortable living doing it little has changed in my life. I've been happy enough cruising through my twenties with my own place, girlfriends, , plenty of free time, all that good jazz, but something terrible has happened.

A few days ago I woke up and realised I'm hurtling towards 30 without any kind of solid career and little idea on how to retrain and at what level. As much as I enjoy being a tutor there isn't much in the way of progression and it's something I now feel I'd be happier doing to stay active when I'm retired. My friends have developed this alarming habit of getting married, one git actually has children as well, and I'm getting more left behind every day. I'm at the stage where people I know are always getting promoted or discussing mortgage and when I'm asked what I'm doing I start to wince at hearing myself repeat the same story.

Despite my third I'm not a complete thicko. I'm very good at Maths, as is expected of me, and I can write basic programs in quite a few languages, mostly C++, Java and Python. But my CV is all but empty spare for my tutoring and a clutch of very good A-levels which I'm sure count for fuck all. I have no references, no internships, essentially no indication that I can do much at all. I've been forbidden from entering teaching proper, not that I'd fancy doing it anyway, so for any other line of work I look like a blank slate.

Beggars can't be choosers and I'm not fussy about what area of IT I'd train for but would prefer something neither crushingly dull or likely to be automated within a few years. If I had the freedom to choose it would be something like data analysis, since I actually enjoy identifying statistical trends and building models based on them. What areas would you recommend and what qualifications are worth pursuing/ignoring?

Apologies if this is all a bit vague. Any guidance you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
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>> No. 12469 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:01 pm
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>>12390

An MSc probably won't pay off, because it's an expensive course and it's not massively more valuable to employers than a BSc. Your physics degree already demonstrates that you can deal with complex abstractions, which is the key aptitude across the IT industry.

Broadly speaking, good employers are more concerned with practical experience than formal qualifications. Being able to say "I did x, y and z at my last job" counts for more than "I learned x, y and z in a classroom". The kind of people you want to work for are capable of sussing out your real level of competence at interview. They also know that it's possible to bullshit your way through an academic qualification even if your practical skills are weak or nonexistent. It's a known problem that many Computing graduates are completely incapable of actually writing code [1]. Companies that really care about qualifications tend to be more bureaucratic and have non-technical managers, neither of which is good for workplace morale or your promotion prospects.

There are also a range of industry certifications that are much less costly than a Masters and highly respected - in the case of security, the CISSP and the CCIE Security Track. There are also some much less respected certifications that might impress a non-technical manager but are mickey mouse to the nth degree, so tread carefully.

[1] https://blog.codinghorror.com/why-cant-programmers-program/

>>12466

Avoid recruiters like the plague. Everyone in the industry despises them. They're cynical opportunists who are just trying to scam employers out of a referral fee by spamming them with hundreds of candidates. Try to learn some stuff off your own back, apply for real vacancies and network as much as possible - if you live near a city of any real size, there should be plenty of IT meetups and networking events.
>> No. 12473 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 7:09 pm
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>>12469

Yeah, thanks, I already knew about that. The problem is that 99% of the job offers that I see online are from recruiters/agencies. I will try to look for some meetups, that's a good idea.
>> No. 12474 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 8:52 pm
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>>12473
Ask around for recommendations when it comes to recruiters. People in your area will typically know who are the ones that know their stuff and who to avoid. I got my current job through a recruiter that was recommended to me, and the process was surprisingly light on bullshit.

Absolutely never approach an agency through the front door though. Get a name and contact that person directly.
>> No. 12475 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 9:04 pm
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>>12474

Sound advice, but easier said than done. I do not know anyone in the area apart from my former teacher, but he's a complete idiot more interested in box ticking than in actually teaching.
>> No. 12476 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 10:19 pm
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>>12469
I agree with your advice on qualifications, particularly in information security; experience is far more important than any certificate. Another good way people get started in security is to actually work in an operations or support department of IT - those are are very good places to start "at the bottom" and work your way up in.

I don't agree so much with your recruiter advice though - you're definitely right that most of them are wankers, but they're still a necessary evil. Even if you start by looking directly at the various job-sites, nearly everything is done through a recruiter, very few companies actually recruit direct (civil/public servants excepted).

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>> No. 12358 Anonymous
10th June 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Have any of you lad/lassm8s held a regular job while being a spare time military reserve?

I'm learning nothing new in my bland corporate job, so I'm thinking of trying for something like communications in the RAF.

Tell me why this idea is silly/great.
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>> No. 12366 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:28 pm
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OP here. The more I search this idea, the more appealing it becomes. I was also looking for paid work to do in my off-time.

I imagine that most companies aren't particularly thrilled to hear you'll be signing up. How can I break this to them gently and not lose my bland corporate job?
>> No. 12367 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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>>12366
I think thats the easy part actually - most employers will be pleased you're doing something like this out of work, even with the attendant risks. Also, I think its totally illegal for them to try and get rid of you while you're a reservist.
>> No. 12369 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:51 pm
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>>12366

You'll need to check your contract of employment - some contracts have a clause restricting your right to work elsewhere. The MoD will inform your employer that you've signed up, so you do need to tell them.

If you do get deployed, your employer is legally obliged to keep your job open for you, but they don't have to keep paying your salary while you're away. The MoD will pay most of the costs of recruiting and training a temporary replacement, so they won't be significantly out of pocket unless you're genuinely irreplaceable.

All reservist units have an Employer Support Officer who can advise you on how to talk to your employer about enlisting. Serving as a reservist can be sold to your employer in positive terms - you'll gain teamwork and leadership skills, you're doing your bit for the country etc.

It's also worth checking to see if your employer has signed the Armed Forces Covenant.

https://www.gov.uk/employee-reservist/financial-support-for-employers

https://www.armedforcescovenant.gov.uk/get-involved/who-has-signed-the-covenant/
>> No. 12444 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 6:51 pm
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It’s alright, more work than you might want and it can get repetitive but then you’re also being paid to have a laugh with your mates. Best bet is to pop in for a few evenings and do a weekend, see how you feel about it.

>communications in the RAF

I thought you wanted to be involved with the military?

>>12359
>but you could easily get called up into a war zone

Keep this a secret from wives and employers but you can easily say no. It’s not like the American national guard, you volunteer.

Only time you'll be at risk of being 'called up' is if Ivan’s dropping little buckets of sunshine all over the midlands but the internet will probably be down anyway.
>> No. 12446 Anonymous
1st August 2018
Wednesday 7:34 pm
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>>12444

>Keep this a secret from wives and employers but you can easily say no. It’s not like the American national guard, you volunteer.

Check your contract m8. Historically they have asked for volunteers, but the Army 2020 Refine made it clear that the intention is to draw more heavily on the Army Reserve to allow for a substantial reduction in the number of regulars. Mandatory mobilisation did happen in the early years of Herrick and is far more likely in future.

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>> No. 12435 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 1:27 pm
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Have any of you managed to work at a nightclub and yet maintain an existence fit for a human being? I've not been at it long, but my weight has yo-yo'd (probably have a diagnosable binge eating disorder now) and while I get a bit of a buzz from the long hours of exhausting work, I now feel like a zombie most of the time.
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>> No. 12441 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 6:55 pm
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>>12440

Sorry mate, they're not really designed to block out noise as much as a comfortable pair of headphones to sleep with.

If an in-ear type earphone isn't cancelling out the noise, then it's difficult to know what to recommend. It's probably similar to what you've got already, but maybe: https://www.flareaudio.com/collections/isolate
>> No. 12442 Anonymous
29th July 2018
Sunday 9:28 pm
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>>12440

In-ear headphones have less sound-blocking power than ear plugs, because there needs to be a channel for the sound to reach your eardrum.

Ideally you'd get a pair of custom-fit earplugs, but they're rather expensive. I have a pair of ACS custom plugs that I'm very happy with; they offer plugs specifically designed for sleeping for £79.

https://acscustom.com/uk/products/hearing-protection/other/sleepsound

If you're using normal foam earplugs, the ability of the plugs to block sound is hugely dependent on finding a pair that fits you well. I'd suggest buying a selection pack of different styles, which will help you find the best compromise between noise blocking and comfort. This assortment includes 11 pairs for £3.49. Once you've found a good fit, you can buy them by the box for very little.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Disposable-Variety-3M-Honeywell-Moldex/dp/B00B1STC2C

It might be possible to double up with earplugs and ear defenders if you sleep on your back and don't move much during sleep. The least bulky option is the Peltor Optime I, which is available with either a normal headband or a behind-the-neck band. The combination provides an astounding level of noise reduction, equivalent to being profoundly deaf.

https://www.arco.co.uk/products/247100
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>> No. 12443 Anonymous
30th July 2018
Monday 12:33 am
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I used to work in a nightclub. Horrible job.
>> No. 12462 Anonymous
2nd August 2018
Thursday 2:49 pm
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>>12440
Don't work nights if you can - it's terrible for your health.

https://www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/2015/oct/28/night-shift-three-million-workers-health-risks-obesity-cancer-diabetes
>> No. 12463 Anonymous
2nd August 2018
Thursday 5:07 pm
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>>12462
I loved the first little exchange in the comments. Tom fucking Jones.

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>> No. 12418 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 5:05 pm
12418 Merchant Navy
Hi Lads, cadet from the travel-working thread here - I think the MN might be an interesting topic to discuss, especially as some other lads have questions.

I can only speak from the perspective of someone starting a cadetship, so can't contribute much, other than my agreement at the poster saying that it seems to be a good way out for someone without qualifications but a willingness to do the graft.
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>> No. 12422 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:19 pm
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I finished my cadetship nine years ago. I would've recommended it to anyone around then, but it can be a tough job market these days. If you're going to do a cadetship, I'd recommend the engineering route over deck, and if you're going to do a deck cadetship, try to get sponsored on an oil, gas, or chemical tanker, or some kind of DP ship like supply ships. Having specialised tickets from those ships will make it MUCH easier to get and keep a better paid job. Straight cargo is not recommended. Standby is okay, the pay is actually pretty good, but it can be a dead end career.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
17th July 2018
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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>>12422

Got any stories about cruise work? I've heard it can be low pay and the 4months on, 2 off ratio can become a bit gruelling. I wonder if the amenities really make up for it.
>> No. 12431 Anonymous
18th July 2018
Wednesday 1:48 am
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>>12430

I've never worked on cruise ships but you're right. They don't sound like my cup of tea but I've heard they can be a good laugh. Tiny cabins, low pay, putting up with guests, long trips, and from what I hear surprisingly unprofessional. Plus junior bridge officers are basically just radar operators. You won't have many duties, so there's lots you won't learn. If you get a job on a standby boat, you'll be in charge of a bridge watch (not understudying) and you'll be doing the chart work and you'll be doing the safety checks, so you'll learn a lot faster.

If you work on a cruise ship, you'll have the opportunity to get pissed up and you'll meet some top international strange. So it's your choice.
>> No. 12433 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 4:56 pm
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>>12431
I recall reading from a former cruise line employee that the underlings always have their own semi-official bar buried deep in the bowels of the ship that as a passenger you will never, ever be allowed to enter and it's basically a crazed, gin-soaked, all-hours bacchanalia. He evinced surprised that anyone was ever sober enough to do their job.
>> No. 12434 Anonymous
19th July 2018
Thursday 8:12 pm
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>>12433

weyyyyyy

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>> No. 12399 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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World citizens, tell me about your experiences living and working (or travelling) abroad. I'm not well travelled myself, and it is something I'd like to do. I'm at a "career junction" at the moment, and I have FOMO - that while I'm tappity tapping away at my keyboard and supping instant coffee in an airconned open-plan, there's a mad rush of "real activity" and opportunity in Africa, China and India.

Apologies for the duplicate post.
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>> No. 12413 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:24 pm
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Is 24/25 too old to get on board (mirth) with something like the Merchant Navy? I'm a web dev by trade but I feel that it's much more suited to a hobby. I'm in good physical shape but not so much mentally and I figure a lot of that is down to my dissatisfaction with the state of the country and my own career.

Any advice or anecdotes would be great, especially those focusing on South-East Asia (Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, etc.)
>> No. 12415 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:06 pm
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>>12413
A narrated video guide for what you can expect:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGuy0jievs
>> No. 12416 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:20 pm
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>>12413
Not too old. There's no requirement to be in physical shape. I have no advice as I didn't stick it long. Being a webdev is cushy, being in an engine room not so much. While the ETO cadet who has been working shit jobs since he's 16 will appreciate solid hours and qualifications (and qualifications is why you do it - not for travel, because there's no guarantee of shore runs in any ports), you may not. The best companies are BP, Shell and the RFA, followed by the "big container companies". That said, for the college portions of the training the point is moot, as you all study at the same colleges (Warsash, Fleetwood or somewhere in Scotland) and take the same modules. Start a MN thread if you want to discuss this.
>> No. 12417 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 5:00 pm
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>>12416
Isn't this the point of the thread, to talk about the MN, and any other jobs which involve travel?
>> No. 12423 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:23 pm
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>>12416

Being a deck officer can be a bit cushy. 90% of the job is drinking tea, smoking fags, and staring out of the window.

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>> No. 12376 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 3:59 am
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My usual summer job of nights at ASDA has fallen through so I've found myself working in a supermarket distribution centre.

It's absolutely gruelling I wouldn't mind it particularly if they didn't enforce six hours without so much as a cig break being allowed. The shifts are nine hours and only one 30 minute break is given, when the manager says you can.

I thought the H&SAW1974 specified a 5 mins break for every hour?

Pic taken in the bogs at the place.
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>> No. 12386 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>12378

Look what happened to Elvis.
>> No. 12387 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 8:25 pm
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>>12384

No it's the Middle Eastern enrichers, our first world toilets are confusing for third world poopers.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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>>12385
It's absolute tedium. Even when "busy" - it's the most mind numbing work that in a lot of places has been automated. 9 hours feels like 9 months. I have insoles.

>>12383
The supermarket was about £3 over minimum wage - night work.

The break was, across 8 hours, up to 30 mins (unpaid) for dinner break, and another 10 min (paid) break towards the end of the night, but you could take them whenever you felt like. If you took less break you'd be paid.
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
15th June 2018
Friday 12:48 am
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>>12388
I should also add I've worked in a car factory - 9h30 shifts with regular, timed breaks and allowances made for small rests. The union was particularly strong there, thought.
>> No. 12391 Anonymous
19th June 2018
Tuesday 7:26 pm
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Well, the job has brought my long-dormant joint problems back - I had to crawl up and down stairs; that's the end of that, I guess.

I tried explaining this to the agency and the first time they didn't listen to a word I said, offering me the job I'm already on. When I said everything again, and asked if they had any less physical jobs - driving, or data entry for example, I got the world's blankest look, like I'd spoken to them in Klingon.

I've said I can't work until I get a doctor's appointment. Trying to fight for a doctor's appointment is battle royale on the phone lines.

Looking for temporary jobs, you either need a class C+ licence to drive, or it's the same brutal warehouse work which my own body will not let me do.

Guess I'll just have to keep looking.

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>> No. 12310 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 7:14 am
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I attended a couple of session with an employment advisor for disabled people. I honestly want to get back to work and I am about to get a qualification. He gave me some advice:

* Go to civil service portal and apply to all office based jobs, even those that I am completely unqualified for.

* Also, not having a clue of how to do the job or even what the job entails is completely not a problem.

* Go to a charity and ask them for advice. It turned out that the charity had absolutely nothing available and was specialised for older people asking their employers to make workplace adjustments.

* Apply for everything under the sun. If I cannot do my job, lose my benefits and get fired, that is not a problem. "You have got to accept some risks if you want to improve your situation."

* Try to wheedle more money from the local council.

* Be more positive, smile more.


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>> No. 12312 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 10:04 am
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>>12311

I had the same idea. Well, at least we ticked a lot of boxes, we made a lot of paperwork and we managed to keep another useless person employed. Holy fuck, this country is so fucked up that it makes the Administratum from 40K look sane.
>> No. 12313 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 1:24 pm
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I think the problem here is that 9 out of 10 people going to see these advisers do actually need that level of advice.
>> No. 12314 Anonymous
3rd June 2018
Sunday 2:51 pm
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>>12313

I think you got it right. I never thought that some people could sincerely need this kind of help.

By the way, I know people under ESA and all of them are perfectly able bodied, working cash in hand and enjoying the benefits. Probably the people that honestly want to get back in the workforce are a minority.
>> No. 12375 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 3:08 pm
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Jesus Fucking Christ


I had the last meeting with the advisor, and finally had enough. I told him to fuck off. I've never seen so much uselessness in a single place.

First, he tried to contact several government offices. None of them answered, assuming that he made the enquiries in the first place.
Second, his winning advice was to print paper copies of my CV and sent them to random employers, since "an email can be deleted immediately, a paper CV has more value." Some employees answered, all telling him to just email a CV in the website.
Third, when I asked what incentives are being given to the employers to hire disabled people, he answered "no tangible benefits apart for gaining potentially a great employer and good publicity for the company". I tried to tell him that money talks, bullshit walks, but he answered that "you only have to get lucky once".


That program is a total scam. More than one million pounds have been spent in an useless program that gives no real, tangible help to disabled people. This is Third World level of corruption and mismanagement.

If you ever see a leaflet or a poster in a public place advertising a gov't program to help disabled people to go into work, run away. It's a scam, and it is geared towards stopping your benefits since you are well enough to look for work by yourself.

Fuck my life.
>> No. 12381 Anonymous
14th June 2018
Thursday 1:27 pm
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>>12312

Back in the day, 40k was satirical to some extent. What do you think they based all that on

Now let's all go watch the Adam Curtis documentary about the grace of caring machines or whatever it was called. Sums things up nicely. We individual humans are now little more in input/output units in some cont'd spreadsheet.

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>> No. 12215 Anonymous
23rd April 2018
Monday 12:33 pm
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Lads, does an 'informal' interview warrant a suit? Call centre job.
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>> No. 12368 Anonymous
11th June 2018
Monday 7:35 pm
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>>12215
Always. Dress for the job you want.
>> No. 12370 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 10:43 am
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>>12368
I went to my last interview dressed like Batman and I got kicked out of the reception by security. So that piece of advice is obviously bollocks.
>> No. 12371 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 11:59 am
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>>12370
Alright, which comedian did you nick that off? If you didn't prepare to see Lee Mack saying it on Live at the Apollo soon.
>> No. 12372 Anonymous
12th June 2018
Tuesday 5:14 pm
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>> No. 12373 Anonymous
13th June 2018
Wednesday 12:34 am
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>>12372
Fair enough.

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