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>> No. 9544 Anonymous
26th June 2013
Wednesday 10:29 pm
9544 Recipes only, no comments. Stickied

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>> No. 12387 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 8:45 pm
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The best pudding ever:-

• One sachet of chocolate mousse mixture. I recommend Green's.

• A few drops of orange extract. I recommend Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Valencian orange extract.

It's like an incredibly intense version of Terry's chocolate orange. Seriously, it's the tits.
>> No. 12388 Anonymous
26th November 2017
Sunday 9:56 pm
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>I recommend Green's
>> No. 12389 Anonymous
10th December 2017
Sunday 7:49 pm
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After a tiny bit of trial and error I think I've cracked the best vegetarian lasagna, if it can be classified as such.

• Roast peppers with a fucktonne of oil. I suggest two sweet red pointed peppers and three yellow/red/orange bell peppers.

• When you're done with the oil use it to fry five or six shallots. After they're nice and soft add in one tin of chopped tomatoes and one tin of plum tomatoes. Let them cook for a while before going at them with a masher. Add any tomato puree or salt as you see fit.

• Cook at least one big bag of spinach. When they've wilted mix in some form of soft cheese; ricotta works best but you can use any soft/cream cheese spread instead.

• Mix most of the tomato sauce with the peppers and use this for the bottom two layers of the lasagna. Use the cheesy spinach layer as the middle and the remaining tomato sauce on top.

• Top with cheese and/or breadcrumbs.

• Eat.
>> No. 12430 Anonymous
24th February 2018
Saturday 10:16 am
12430 Ultimate veggie carbonara
Step 1 - Remove stalks from a pack of mushrooms. Lightly brush them in oil, crushed garlic and black pepper. The best thing to do with them is to smoke them, which either requires living in the American Midwest, having a barbecue or either experimenting with your grill or burning something in the bottom of a wok (which you've double lined with tinfoil first) whilst having the mushrooms hovering on top on a wire rack with a lid over them.

Step 2 - Cook 500g of linguine until it is also dente.

Step 3 - Crack four eggs into a bowl and mix them together. Mix cheese, preferably pecorino or another Italian hard cheese but mature cheddar works too, until it's all thick and gloopy.

Step Four - Scoop out a cup full of the pasta water before draining it, but don't shake it completely dry.

Step Five - Mix everything back in the pan. The heat from the pan should cook the egg mixture without scrambling it. Add more cheese to taste and a little of the pasta water if it's not at the desired consistency.

>> No. 12690 Anonymous
29th August 2018
Wednesday 9:46 am
12690 Time for this year's fungal infection?
The rains have fallen, the fungus is sprouting.
Can't seem to find this chap in the guides - doesn't look that appealing. Any hints?
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>> No. 12736 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:37 am
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I'm not here looking for buttsex, btw. Just wondering if things I find while walking the dog will make a nice omelette, or kill me.
Got lots of these, f'rinstance, but they're just nice to look at, not particularly interesting for food or recreation.
>> No. 12737 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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The stipe is different in colouration, it has that giraffe pattern on a parasol even at the early stages of developement,where as OPs mushroom doesn't.
>> No. 12852 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 5:47 am
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If you cut the stipe on those ones and it stains reddish or rusty after a few minutes and eventually turns brown then they're great to eat. If its the kind with a greenish sport print then it awful and you'll get sick. The good kind used to be called Lepioda Rachodes, but mushroom taxonimists keep on changing it's official name so I don't know what its called these days, but its still edible regardless.
>> No. 12853 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 9:53 am
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Is this good eating?
Web doesn't seem to say, one way or another.
>> No. 12854 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 1:11 pm
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I'm no expert but have you considered setting up a GoFundMe instead?

>> No. 12845 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
12845 Espresso bollocks
My old man really likes that type of coffee.

I'm thinking about buying him a small semi-auto machine for a birthday gift. There's a wee problem here: I can't figure what exactly I should aim for. Advice on the Net differs: some say the bean quality and the grind uniformity are the things that matter the most, others state that one shouldn't even try to approach espresso without a machine on par with Gaggia Classic / Europiccola, not even mentioning a decent grinder.

Just how important is having a proper coffee hipsterenthusiast endorsed machine? I sense that their advice might be truthful per se but could it be something with diminishing returns compared to a mildly bog standard espresso maker?
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>> No. 12847 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 2:17 pm
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The question I would ask, before a pair of inexplicably qualified coffee expert arrive here, is that are you sure your dad will enjoy the faff, fiddling, and 'experience' of being a home barista, or would he actually just want to press a button and get coffee? Be honest.
>> No. 12848 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 2:21 pm
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Why not just get a Moka pot?
>> No. 12849 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:15 pm
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He might. He did all that jazz on his previous job. As far as I can judge it wasn't too much nuisance for him, perhaps even some sort of a rather pleasant ritual.
He has one, I think. It's a good little thing but the coffee it makes is of different kind, despite being brewed by pressure too.
>> No. 12850 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:38 pm
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The middle ground option would be a semi-automatic machine with a capsule-compatible portafilter. That gives you the choice between doing everything yourself, or just dropping in a capsule if you can't be arsed with grinding and tamping.

As regards the original question, I think that entry-level machines have improved greatly in recent years. Cheap fully-automatic capsule machines make a perfectly decent espresso, they just lack the level of control that hobbyists want.
>> No. 12851 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>> No. 12807 Anonymous
10th November 2018
Saturday 9:39 am
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What's the best method for making tomato sauce?

I usually slowly cook a few tins of plum tomatoes, but it doesn't quite taste as rich and strong as I'd like. Should I be adding in tomato puree?
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>> No. 12840 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:05 pm
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I wonder if this is our biggest claim to fame. I know there's been some vague celebrity suspicions over the years, but other than Bezos giving one of us a shoe once, I think this might be the most notable.
>> No. 12841 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:10 pm
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Noel Edmonds.
>> No. 12842 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 3:16 pm
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My ex girlfriend's cousin was the tramp that got his ear bitten by Alan Davies.
>> No. 12843 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 5:37 pm
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Happy to assist a fellow man of culture:


You can buy almost every REAL italian food from there. The "bulk deals" have a lot of excellent ingredients for a very low price.
>> No. 12844 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:40 pm
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Thank you very much, I didn't know about them.

>> No. 5883 Anonymous
6th April 2011
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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Why do a lot of people seem to rave about Nando's?

My friends think I'm a freak because I very rarely eat Subway or Nando's; as far I can tell it's just, not especially good quality, grilled chicken that has been marinated in peri-peri sauce. Am I missing something here?
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>> No. 12802 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 8:30 pm
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I don't think I've ever actually had KFC in my life.
>> No. 12803 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 9:42 pm
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You're not missing anything.
>> No. 12804 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 1:56 am
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I didn't think there was anything wrong with the old ones, the problem wasn't the fries, it was their shite employees not bothering to chuck old stale ones out that had been wilting under the hot lamps for ages. When they're fresh out they're as good as any other.
>> No. 12805 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 2:43 pm
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what in the everliving fuck am i looking at here
>> No. 12806 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 5:49 pm
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Finger licking chicken lung.

>> No. 12576 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 1:41 pm
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Is cultural appropriation even possible when it comes to cooking?
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>> No. 12796 Anonymous
1st November 2018
Thursday 8:15 pm
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I got that very same vibe too.

I cannot, however, sign off on your misuse of the word 'divulge'.
>> No. 12797 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 1:07 am
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He made a bad joke in an email to a journalist, while working for a company who is currently undergoing a core marketing push to offer more vegan/vegetarian options. This isn't a question about a man losing his job for making a joke, it's about a man being so fucking incompetent at his job that he didn't realise the implications of sending an email to a JOURNALIST offending an entire important demographic of the company he works for.

It's also not a 'private email'. She pitched him an idea. That's a business email.

People are working very hard to make this anything other than him being incompetent. If you got an email from a client/supplier/potential customer and you replied sarcastically about killing them or people like them, how do you think it would go?
>> No. 12798 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 1:25 am
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>If you got an email from a client/supplier/potential customer and you replied sarcastically about killing them or people like them, how do you think it would go?
One would hope they aren't overly-sensitive card-carrying members of the Professionally Offended Brigade and can take a fucking joke.
>> No. 12799 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 1:56 am
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You don't have a job, do you? You seem to have no idea how the professional world works.
>> No. 12800 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 8:26 am
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This is fair, I'm sorry I put you in an awkward position.

>> No. 12184 Anonymous
30th December 2016
Friday 1:56 am
12184 Beef Jerky
I got one of these for christmas so I made some beef jerky.
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>> No. 12277 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:29 pm
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Have you tried using tamari instead of soy sauce? I have a feeling it'd work well with one of these; more umami.
>> No. 12279 Anonymous
11th April 2017
Tuesday 2:46 pm
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No. I'll have a look for it next time I'm at an Asian supermarket.
>> No. 12740 Anonymous
12th September 2018
Wednesday 9:38 pm
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I just got one to do my glut of figs. They've been going for 30 hours so far, and still have some way to go. Testing them from time to time - Mmm, warm, concentrated figgy goodness. Even if they don't dry out properly (I just quartered them), they're ridiculously nice.
Apples next, once the fig glut is cleared.
>> No. 12741 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:27 pm
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Figs are pretty big, I hope you sliced them up first.
>> No. 12742 Anonymous
14th September 2018
Friday 4:31 pm
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>>12741 (I just quartered them)

they came out great, very happy with the results. Will be drying out all sorts of things now.As a way of smoothing out peaks of stuff from the garden, it's got a lot going for it - saves ramming the freezer full of stuff that isn't improved by freezing. Still throwing out over 200kg of duff apples a week, it's been a really shitty year for that, with the mad weather.

>> No. 12571 Anonymous
17th August 2018
Friday 5:57 pm
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Are there any decent cookery channels or videos online? I'd be surprised if there wasn't, but I don't know of any.
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>> No. 12730 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 12:24 am
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His cats might be very well behaved by western standards but to the japanese those cats are practically feral

>> No. 12731 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 1:04 am
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IRA subliminal flashes
>> No. 12734 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 11:02 am
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Do you not know what the Indian flag looks like?
>> No. 12738 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:05 pm
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Depends what you're looking for really.

Alton Brown doesn't really release on YouTube anymore but his back catalogue — and Good Eats series if you can find it — is a must-watch. Yank Heston Blumenthal with less of the pug-faced wanker snobbery.

Chef John's Foooood Wishes dot cooom is punny, technique-focused experimental cooking for the home kitchen. He's a good laugh.

Barry Lewis' My Virgin Kitchen is a bloke from Weston who used to be shit at cooking and is now quite good. Does a lot of those one-shot kitchen gadget vids too which can be entertaining.

Sorted and Jamie Oliver's channels are alright too.

For everything else (and entertainment value ramped up to 11,) I'd recommend Binging with Babish and his Basics with Babish side-series. The latter teaches you essential culinary skills in an easy to digest format. Not to say you're thick but you probably are if you're coming to us for help, let's be honest.

RIP Francis-san. It's not been the same since.
>> No. 12739 Anonymous
2nd September 2018
Sunday 6:54 pm
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Alex-French-Guy doesn't quite fall into the normal category of a cooking show, but he can be quite entertaining. There are a lot of mad and highly detailed ramblings about simple things like boiling eggs.


>> No. 12349 Anonymous
13th October 2017
Friday 3:44 pm
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Are there any other nice hot drinks that take milk? I understand how retarded that sounds but I'm starting to get sick of normal tea and coffee.
Hot chocolate is nice and all but not something I can drink all the time.
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>> No. 12542 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 11:57 am
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I too am known to be partial to a nice bit of red bush.
>> No. 12543 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 12:01 pm
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On a serious note, one of my colleagues has recently switched to this stuff in an effort to battle her caffeine addiction. Initially I was quite skeptical but she made me a mug of it and I was pleasantly surprised at how bearable it was. Tastes somewhere between a barley malt drink like Horlicks with some of the bitterness of coffee from the chicory. Holland & Barrett.
>> No. 12544 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 6:58 pm
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Didn't they used to call it Mellow Birds bitd?
>> No. 12545 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 7:22 pm
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Mellow birds bifter?
>> No. 12546 Anonymous
30th May 2018
Wednesday 8:24 pm
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Mellow Birds was (and is) just an incredibly bland instant coffee. Camp Coffee is mostly chicory, inexplicably liquid and markedly less racist than it used to be.

>> No. 12522 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 8:55 pm
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Does anyone know what the full recipe for this roast veg recipe is? I've had a look on the Newcastle can website but didn't see it there.

It starts at 42:10



4 x Carrots
3 x red onions
3 x potatoes
4 x parsnips
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
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>> No. 12523 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 9:06 pm
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If it's Hugh then it probably involves wrapping a sleeping woman's hair around your cock whilst you wank off.
>> No. 12524 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 10:57 pm
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Wanking with someone's hair just sounds weird and uncomfortable. Why can't he wank off with that person's mother's or sister's knickers instead like a normal person.
>> No. 12525 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 1:25 am
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I don't see where he's used the potatoes. My professional assumption would be you'd roast the potato in with the other root veg, and the grated stuff at the end looks a lot like squash (or carrot) and cabbage, though celeriac and carrots would have much the same effect. He calls that bit a salad, so one would have to assume he's mixed a bit of vinegar and oil together for a classic vinaigrette dressing.
>> No. 12526 Anonymous
16th May 2018
Wednesday 9:49 am
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Let's hope, it's as delectable as Noble implies.

>> No. 12499 Anonymous
27th April 2018
Friday 8:57 pm
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There isn't a better biscuit than this. Sure, you may prefer others. Objectively though, this is the best. It's an all round work horse that doesn't disintegrate when dunked and maintains it's integrity when bitten meaning the can be eaten in bed when unwell or depressed.
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>> No. 12517 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 5:59 pm
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You may not like it, but Rich Teas are what peak performance looks like.
>> No. 12518 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 7:13 pm
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My vague understanding of the history of Western military conflict suggests the opposite; I thought simple biscuits or "hard tack" kind of things were what most armies tended to march on [in their stomachs]?

Sage for inevitably bringing our Corrigan out, I know mil-history lad can smell a boring discussion opportunity like a shark can blood in water
>> No. 12519 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 11:05 pm
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Another reason they're a terrible leisure biscuit. Rich Teas are basically council estate hard tack.
>> No. 12520 Anonymous
28th April 2018
Saturday 11:46 pm
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You can't win a war with a belly full of custard cremes, too rich, ironically.
>> No. 12521 Anonymous
29th April 2018
Sunday 12:29 am
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If I was blindfolded and someone fed me a Rich Tea, I'm not sure I could even identify it as food. They offer nothing remotely enjoyable to the palate and their very existence is a source of continuous bewilderment to me.

>> No. 12463 Anonymous
1st April 2018
Sunday 10:32 pm
12463 Cook books
Evening, lads.

What cook books do you recommend? I know you can get recipes online these days but it doesn't seem the same to me as having a proper cook book. I'm toying with getting Persiana by Sabrina Ghayour as I've heard Iranian cuisine isn't too dissimilar to Indian food, but with much less heat.
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>> No. 12464 Anonymous
1st April 2018
Sunday 11:01 pm
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I say get it, experimentation is the spice of life. If you're looking for something to give you a grounding in a lot of different home grown dishes, then The Hairy Bikers do a cookbook I like.

All their recipes were on the BBC at one point, but no longer.
>> No. 12465 Anonymous
2nd April 2018
Monday 1:21 am
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Most cookbooks end up taking space on a shelf with only a handful of recipies attempted and don't really teach the techniques and thinking behind creating tasty meals.

< This (maybe out of print) is the only book I've referred to more than a couple of times.
>> No. 12466 Anonymous
2nd April 2018
Monday 8:18 am
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Go to the works and have a hunt around.
You'll probably find something along the lines of >>12465 this one that might be good.

You get far more use out of something like that, than some flashy celebrity cookbook, or one of the many books that are quite specific (i.e. desserts, or Italian, etc.)
>> No. 12467 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 2:06 am
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If you want Persian food then try Ottolenghi's books.

Do not attempt before really understanding the principles of cooking as outlined in >>12465.

Disclaimer: I am by all the metrics mentioned above probably a shit cook, and only mention Ottolenghi because he got me to buy pomegranate molasses and put it on vanilla ice cream and for this I feel indebted to him.
>> No. 12468 Anonymous
4th April 2018
Wednesday 6:24 am
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Why do something in 5 steps when you can do it in 45 instead?

>> No. 12431 Anonymous
20th March 2018
Tuesday 10:56 am
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What are the most bitter, widely available nonalcoholic drinks you can think of?

I love bitter flavours and want something I can sip throughout the day with an almost medicinal taste.

At the moment I drink black coffee and grapefruit juice quite regularly, but would like more choice.
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>> No. 12458 Anonymous
21st March 2018
Wednesday 9:46 pm
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How about some Marmite tea.
>> No. 12459 Anonymous
22nd March 2018
Thursday 1:34 am
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I used to like old-school Bovril though, the few times we ever had it. My nan convinced me one day that an Oxo cube was just as good.
>> No. 12460 Anonymous
22nd March 2018
Thursday 2:19 am
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My grandad maintains that the RAF ran on Bovril back in the war. He still gets hold of the cubes from somewhere.

I recently discovered that Bovril has been vegetarian for nearly 15 years. Can't say I ever noticed.
>> No. 12461 Anonymous
22nd March 2018
Thursday 2:37 am
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> My grandad maintains that the RAF ran on Bovril back in the war.

Bovril was just Officer code for methamphetamine hydrochloride.
>> No. 12462 Anonymous
22nd March 2018
Thursday 3:35 am
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>Bovril has been vegetarian for nearly 15 year

Also, Bisto. Changed our lives.

>> No. 12052 Anonymous
2nd August 2016
Tuesday 8:29 pm
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I'm reading a book by Neal Stephenson where he describes the emergence of coffee houses in England. He doesn't mention how do they prepare (steep?) their coffee though. And that is the question that bothers me a bit more than it should.

Any ideas? I tried feeding that to search engines. Got a few references to an old book but it's all that funny Old English, add being spectacularly non-specific.
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>> No. 12075 Anonymous
7th August 2016
Sunday 9:15 pm
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Learn to read annotations [1].

[1]a critical or explanatory note or body of notes added to a text.
>> No. 12076 Anonymous
7th August 2016
Sunday 9:17 pm
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It's not necessarily more bitter. A moka pot extracts more flavour from the coffee grounds than an espresso machine, so naturally bitter coffees will taste more bitter when prepared in a moka. IME you want a slightly lighter roast and a slightly coarser grind than you would use for espresso.

I think a moka is the best way to prepare coffee at home. It's not espresso, but it can produce excellent coffee with very little fuss.
>> No. 12077 Anonymous
8th August 2016
Monday 9:49 am
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By the way lad. What do you exactly mean when you mention strength? The aroma or the caffeine content?
>> No. 12402 Anonymous
25th January 2018
Thursday 9:40 pm
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I actually bought myself one. I'm satisfied; the coffee it makes is flavourful in its own way. A decent addition to a cezve and a cafetiere I already possess.

Not all beans taste remarkably well in it though. Coffee made from the last batch of beans I'd milled tasted bland; brewing the grounds in a cezve produced a noticeably better result.
>> No. 12570 Anonymous
4th August 2018
Saturday 1:23 pm
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This thingy - exactly like the one on the picture - turned out to be a bit more finicky than its steel counterpart. The latter is straightforward, the aluminium one has caused me some grief. I can't reliably catch the moment when enough is enough. Several times I've steamed my coffee into a way too bitter substance.

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