If you want something to spice up your middle class chocolate lifestyle I recommend lindt 'touch of sea salt' (its not as bad as it sounds). Otherwise I would stick with a nice Topic which is a bit cosmopolitan and nice to dip into tea.
If you're a SPAM looking for some exotic British 'candy' then try Ripple. Its very sweet and silky instead of being big, black an 'ard like most of our more industrial chocolate varieties.
The fake chocolate like what you get off the sides of a KitKat or a Wagon Wheel. Or those little "chocolate" footballs you used to be able to get in the penny sweets trays.
Pretty sure that stuff is dog chocolate. It might well be cornflour and corn syrup dyed brown.