I like HP Sauce sandwiches.

I don't actually enjoy my food

95% of the time I just smother it with basic condiments

I love cooking, but rarely eat.

Sometimes I just drink HP sauce from the bottle.

When I was younger I'd eat butter. I don't do it any more but I wouldn't mind it.

I lick the knife after I've used it.

>>3271 >>3267
I do both of these things, I have no shame.

I realy too heavily on freshly ground black pepper, mustard, mayonnaise and garlic in almost all of my cooking. It is like the meals I prepare are characters in a book, and I am unable to create a realistic personality for them without a critical dependency on one of the flavours above.

I seldom use salt, however, and that is the way I like it.

I can easily eat a whole pound of pickled onions in a day. I love the tangy taste. Sometimes I have even drunk the pickling juice from the jar.

>I seldom use salt, however
What...
but...
does that...

I don't understand. I don't understand! You can't cook without salt.

I'm a vegetarian

>>3277
Snap. "Butter"/whatever spread we have doesn't last long here. Between me eating bits of it and spreading it an inch thick on bread and toast.

>>3302
NOWT TO BE ASHAMED OF LAD

>>3290

I bought a very disappointing jar of supposedly tangy pickled onions a few weeks ago, and the experience has rather dulled my feelings towards them. I am now a gherkin man.

>>3294

Oh but of course you can! Most dishes do not require salt, or the saltiness of the ingredients works well enough! I always think twice and then three times before adding salt to a meal. There are of course some dishes which absolutely demand a pinch, but those are truly few and far between. I will more readily add bacon than salt, and that applies to nearly any of the dishes I prepare.

>I bought a very disappointing jar of supposedly tangy pickled onions a few weeks ago, and the experience has rather dulled my feelings towards them. I am now a gherkin man.
My sister was given a jar of pickled lemons for Christmas. She was thrilled, I was merely glad I will never have to suffer such an atrocity.

>Oh but of course you can! Most dishes do not require salt, or the saltiness of the ingredients works well enough! I always think twice and then three times before adding salt to a meal. There are of course some dishes which absolutely demand a pinch, but those are truly few and far between. I will more readily add bacon than salt, and that applies to nearly any of the dishes I prepare.
Whence this aversion to, you know, just using salt instead of adding a salty ingredient? Seems... obsessive, for lack of a more suitable term. When you boil up potatoes or pasta, do you throw in some bacon? They just don't taste right without a liberal salting.

In seriousness, anything that takes genuine preparation usually requires salt. Heresy though it may be to say it, you can't add bacon to everything.

>>3305

>bought
>pickled onions

That's your problem right there, pickled onions should never be bought, apart from at country fairs/farmers markets and the like.

If you do decide to make your own, which is the best way, I would recommend using shallots as they stay crisper. Add all colours of peppercorns, chilli flakes/dried chillis and pickling spices to standard malt vinegar and bob's your uncle.

>>3307

No he isn't, he's a mate.

>>3267
The thought alone is making me gag.

>>3326
Pic related it's what I do but without the bread

>>3306

Perhaps I come accross as slightly more hardcore than I really am. Despite my best efforts, you are correct - it is impossible to add bacon to everything instead of salt. A pinch is required here and there, for baking and so on, but I find that there is too much salt in many recipes, and that it is completely unwarranted in some.

I find that there is a trend in cooking to rely too heavily on salt. It seems a little crude for every flavour to orbit this one, rather crass ingredient - instead I put a salt grinder and a pepper grinder on the table, and if I have failed to let the ingredients speak for themselves, my guests can help themselves to a crunch or two.

>>3328
Replace table salt with MSG.

>>3330

I don't like MSG, and it seems to trigger headaches in some people. I don't even like what it does to food really, and it doesn't suit the kind of stuff I normally cook - pretty much traditional English fare, as well as continental shenanigans.

>>3330
There's a time and a place for MSG, but being a table condiment is definitely not one of its acceptable uses.

>>3332

I've never used the stuff - what's the proper way? Just lob some in during cooking? The web's just full of shouty anti-MSG rants and trolling.

>>3333
Yeah, use it to 'season' sauces, etc. Not too much though!

>>3334
In salt-style quantities?

>>3335

Eurgh no.

>>3336

OK, so tiny amounts, then?
Does it have instant effect, so you can taste it when adding, and stop when satisfied, or is it delayed action?

OP is a monster.

Beef is shit compared to lamb.

>>3337

You can taste it when adding. It is pungent, very salty. It does blend in and homogenise flavours though, which is why I avoid it. For example when you add salt to tomato, it sort of evens out, but with MSG it just makes salty, tangy tomato.

It isn't nice. You use much less than in salt, and I can't see somebody being able to add a small enough quantity to, say, a sandwich. One simply couldn't sprinkle gently enough.

Mutton is much better than lamb.

>>3344
'specially in a Madras.

>>3345

True that.

On that note though - WHERE HAS ALL THE MUTTON GONE?

Britain has always been one of the big wool producers and mutton was a staple until not long ago. What happened to it? There are still sheep being bred. Presumably they die at some point. I don't see it for sale as much as I should, considering how many of the beasts are around. I see more duck, turkey and goose.

Lamb also used to be relatively cheap. Now it is absurdly priced (especially considering the lacklustre taste). I blame doing the dirty on NZ and OZ with the old trade agreements being dumped. They used to be big sources for it and it was at least cheap.

Bring back this British staple, I say. Good for traditional dishes and for more exotically themed ones (such as the previously mentioned Madras).

>>3347

Pork is extremely cheap now, and of a very high quality. Avoid the Danish stuff and buy British, slow roast it with black puddingz and sweet potato and cider... Mmm.

Lamb is imported now. Although Romney Marsh and Welsh lamb are among the nicest meats in the world, most of our lamb is from New Zealand. This is fiercely gay and again I would implore britfa.gs to buy more Blitish Lamb.

I'm looking into producing mutton on a commercial basis. Quality, old fashioned mutton. We have the technology to make it delicious, and I'm sure there's a market out there. Sadly there's not much scope for it being as cheap as it was, because of increasingly intensive sheep rearing methods just being generally consumer unfriendly in that respect.

>>3347
By my reckoning, they no longer get a good price for the wool, because it's all processed abroad, so the sheep only generate money when slaughtered. Land has a certain capacity to support sheep, and if a sheep is kept for mutton, it must live, let's say three times as long. So if I am a farmer and have three fields, I can turn it to lamb and get three lots of meat, or keep them on as mutton, and get one lot of twice as much meat, leaving me one third down on the meat front.

>>3352

That isn't quite how it works. Wool was never particularly valuable, for most breeds at least. The rare breeds with fancyfluff can fetch a bit but normally you'll hardly cover the cost and effort of shearing hundreds of miserable, suicidal, paranoid animals.

Traditionally proper mutton has been a three year old ewe, so it'll have grunted out some lambs in that time. It can also be a three year old male sheep, provided it has no balls.

Hogget is another traditional meat. It is older than a year, but cannot have given birth to anything. There are rules about how many teeth it needs to have too.

You're right about it being less efficient though. It is only efficient if you can sell the old mummy ewes as meat, and they aren't fetching much money these days.

I'd have thought that selling adult sheep would bring more money because they are bigger and fatter and so more meat. There's bugger all on a lamb. Last time I saw a lamb chop served up it was the size of a tortilla chip. Crap.

Wool WAS valuable. HIGHLY valuable. England had great wealth from it in medieval times. It wasn't glamorous, but it was good money.

Must be tough for the jews and muslims and other religious types if they can't get sheep and goats and pork is the cheap food of choice here.

>>3354
Mutton (quite unfairly, in my opinion) doesn't exactly have the best reputation when it comes to its flavour and it takes longer to grow mutton than it does to grow a lamb. Combine the two and the added weight won't necessarily make up for those disadvantages.

>>3357

So why was mutton worth growing before then?

>>3358
Because we couldn't have filled up the land if we tried. Or so I would have guessed.

>>3359

That doesn't sound right at all.

Get your farming hats on tomorrow chaps, I'll explain everything.

>>3358

Because if you killed all your sheep when they were lambs, you'd have no food when it rotted and then you'd starve to death, I imagine.

>>3347
>>3352
>>3354
>>3355
>>3357
>>3358
>>3359
>>3360
>>3363

Basically, mutton was a reasonably profitable byproduct of lamb farming until quite recently. It became unfashionable, and with a hike in slaughter costs there was just no point in preparing them anymore. The whole idea was that a ewe would give birth to lambs for three or four years, and then when she was spent she'd be eaten. Nowadays there's not much point in that, what with increasingly industrialised farming methods and a commitment to profit margins.

Prince charles is bringing it all back though, along with his merry brigade.

>>3364

God bless Charles.

>>3365
The Royal family will save Britain eventually; Charles fighting capitalism and saving our farms, Philip on Islam.

Britain will fight back against those Capitalist GM food selling Muslims.

>>3367
Oddly enough, it's only been in an ASDA surrounded by a sizeable Muslim community in Nottingham that I ever saw mutton stocked in noticeable quantities.

>>3367

That's given me a terrific idea.

>>3368

They do seem to like the mutton and I heard it has increased in popularity and presence in shops because of them. Will Simon feel this makes up for everything else?

Scrambled egg is the high of my culinary skill. Also I put brown sauce on everything.

>>3371

:|

I put balsamic vinegar on everything when I have it.

>>3381

It's you! You're the one encouraging this hideousness.

>>3381
I like balsamic but it is the over-used ingredient of the Noughties.

>>3384
Well, the craze started earlier than that, really, but otherwise I agree. Balsamic has it's definite uses such as (oil/balsamic/pinch of pepper)-salad dressing, or when making a tomato and mozzarella starter. Stuff where the flavour of the vinegar really really makes a diference.

Other than that, though? Soon as it's cooked for more than 10 minutes the taste difference between balsamic and malt vinegar is negligible.

>>3386

I don't really like balsamic on most of the things it seems to be supplied with. On an ordinary salad, a vinaigrette of olive oil and red wine vinegar is superior, plus mustard and salt of course. Balsamic goes fantastically well with tomato and onion "salad", if indeed you can call that a salad.

What I don't like is when it is poured all over normal salads, or subtle salads whose intricacies are demolished by the rather overpowering mouth-stench of balsamic vinegar.

_{http://thepauperedchef.com/2009/12/is-salad-dressing-the-perfect-sauce.html}

This particular link should provide you with all you need to know about salad dressing.

I really do detest vinegar. Tastes rotten and poisonous to me.

>>3409

All vinegar?

>>3409
You eat your chips without sah vinga?

I recently started using rice wine vinegar a lot more in dishes, not enough that it all tastes of vinegar - but it really can lift or balance some foods (yin and yang cooking philosophy is important ;). Salt and vinegar crisps aren't nice to me though.

>>3415
Dearie me, it's been years since I've had chips from a Chinese or Chinese-owned chippy.

>>3416

There's an excellent place near me called "Double Happiness". It is a Chinese establishment consisting of both a Chinese takeaway, AND a chip shop. If memory serves, it even has a drive through.

The name is particularly fitting, and I always chuckle at the way it is reminiscent of those dodgy eBay listings offering "many good fortune" to the buyer.

>>3419
Haha, great!

I had a look on Just Eat and there appears to be a Chinese takeaway+Chip shop nearby... I must try them.

>You eat your chips without sah vinga?
"Lots of salt, no vinegar, cheers love"

>All vinegar?
Any vinegar. If I can taste it chance are I won't like the dish. Stuff that contains small amounts of vinegar, like baked beans, mayo etc is alright.

>>3421

Well in a lot of cases, the vinegar is just there for structural reasons. A couple of sauces I make use vinegar though, sort of for flavour... not so you taste the vinegar but to balance something. I dunno.

I prefer vinegar to salt, by miles. Sometimes I have no sah and lots of vinga...

My boyfriend pours half a bottle on mince pies, the stench makes me want to gag.

>>3425

I thought of the Christmas version and was like "LOL WTF" then I thought of the mince version and was like "hmm okay".

These blighters are the superior canapé.

Vinegar is king of condiments. Any treasonous dogs that do not like HRH Vinegar should be killed.

>A couple of sauces I make use vinegar though, sort of for flavour... not so you taste the vinegar but to balance something. I dunno.
It's widely used as a preservative, especially in sauces, which is to say that bacteria think it so foul as to not be edible.

Did someone say mince pies and vinegar? Really?

>>3434

Yeah, I think they meant pies containing minced meat. Otherwise we'd have a problem on our hands. The ambiguity of the word mince is bewildering and frankly dangerous.

Plus, I've typed "mince" too many times in the last five minutes to take it seriously as a word. Haha, mince.

And yes it is a brilliant preservative, for sauces as well as pickles. Do the vinegar-free community in this thread dislike pickled onions, gherkins etc?

>>3436
On the subject, can someone provide a recipe for mincemeat involving minced meat, like it used to be? I've bought a good few books on traditional english cooking, but thus far in vain.

>>3437

I've never tried it, but there's a reliable enough looking recipe here:

_{http://www.recipezaar.com/-Traditional-Mincemeat-For-Pies-42933}

>>3436
i avoid vinegar like the plague in its condiment form but love pickled onions, although i presume pickling vinegar is somehow varied when compared to your malt vinegar.

The idea of putting both kinds on my chips still revolts me.

I have some brilliant red cabbage in my kitchen at the moment which was pickled in a liquor made from malt vinegar, white wine vinegar, balsamic vinegar, red wine, chillies, black and pink peppercorns, star anise, cinnamon, sugar, bay and cloves. I challenge anybody not to enjoy it, three kinds of vinegar be damned.

(Recipe can be found as part of this wider-ranging recipe if anybody fancies the challenge: _{http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/lonklamblancashireho_91265.shtml})

>>3439
Pickling tends to use spirit vinegar.

>Yeah, I think they meant pies containing minced meat.
Good God, I should've figured that out. Sorry /nom/. I blame the vinegar-loving contingent, their everyday culinary perversions make such notions seem plausible.

>Do the vinegar-free community in this thread dislike pickled onions, gherkins etc?
Wouldn't be much of a vinegar-hater if I liked things pickled in vinegar, would I?

>I challenge anybody not to enjoy it, three kinds of vinegar be damned.
We were in trouble at "red cabbage" which isn't a personal favourite, but then you pickle it in vinegar and add sugar and sweet spices; in doing so, going from very bad to somehow worse. I'll take the wine beforehand, you do what you will with the rest.

>>3442

Well I think pickled stuff is regarded in a misleading way, because what has been pickled is often of a different strain and quality to how we encounter it when fresh.

For example, pickling onions are a specific type of onion. Likewise, the red cabbage they pickle is normally less nice than the stuff we buy fresh.

>>3454

It'd make sense to use up that sort of stock or old stock for pickling. Much in the same way as it would have been done to save excess stocks and harvests for leaner times in the old days.

>>3438
Brilliant, that looks just the thing; thanks.
Also, anyone else using this recipe, one variation I have eaten but never made myself is adding a bit of stilton to the filling; it's not at all bad.

>>3256
I like mint sauce on any kind of roast.

I've often wondered what mutton is like, and would like to try it, but never see it in shops.

>>3467

If you nip in to any decent butcher and ask for it then they will get some in for you. It'll be cheap as you like too, probably.

>>3467
I think Halal butchers have it.

>>3468
Seconding this; there's almost always more of a variety of meats than what's on display/advertised. Also, I hear that halal meat has a different flavour. Not a bad thing, per se, but not your run-of-the mill mutton.

>>3477

Halal refers largely to the way the animal has been slaughtered, and it is the different methods that affect the way the meat tastes at the end of it. Pretty grim shenanigans.

Likewise the halal meat eating populus have different preferences in terms of flavour, fat content etc, as well as different cooking methods. Prince Charles probably cooks his differently to Abed Waliyudeen at Best Madras curry house.

>>3477
>>3471
>>3468
>>3467

Sadly, mutton isn't as cheap as it has been historically. This is because sheep are now reared specifically for mutton, rather than it just being a tidy byproduct.

Also, halal butchers don't have mutton as we know it. Different cuts, different flavour, different slaughter method. The animals suffer a fair bit under halal rules, but that kind of thing is for the end user to decide about I suppose.

I have had a fucking MASSIVE craving for a bowl of tripe & onions all day...

Sweet jeebus that rubbery slithery texture may be an acquired taste, but I fucking love it.

>>3588
>tripe and onions

YUCK

You're a savage.

>>3589

Nah...

you cook it up in a stew pan with onions, potatoes, 50/50 milk/water and loads of black pepper... it's fucking heavenly...

>>3590
I'd really like to try tripe, but would like to taste it cooked properly first before attempting it myself, so I know what to aim for.

>>3588
I've never been tempted to try tripe, I imagine it tastes offal.