Jizzum.

Arabian Goggles.

Witch hazel. If your eye bags are saggy and wrinkly rather than puffy, moisturise regularly.

>>5771
Sleep, steam rooms or Clinique.

>>5773
Jogggg on, you crazzzzzy diamond... doo doo dooo...

IPL will remove it permanently in most cases. It'll cost you about £50 for six sessions via Groupon.

>>5768
I've been strictly in bear territory since I was in my early 20s, but the shoulder hair only started in the last couple of years. I just shave it whenever I'm in the bath.

Baths are great things for keeping on top of all that. I use it to relax, then trim and shave everything that needs done and cut my finger and toenails. Then a quick shower, wash your hair, you've killed 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon. It's a nice little ritual.

I have sensitive skin and a raft of allergies, but Dove Men+Care roll-on seems fine. Unlike a lot of antiperspirants I've tried, it doesn't leave claggy stains on my undershirts.

>>5764
+1 Dove is good for that.

Mitchum advanced might be worth a try too.
Otherwise dove as the lad above said, and sanex both have versions for sensitive skin.

>>5766
I use Mitchum, it's very good. Never stink.

>>5757
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wahl-Afro-Baldfader-Mains-Clipper/dp/B000HC2MCK

Shave and be proud of getting old. I have one of these, it cuts the closest of all of them.

>>5758

>Shave and be proud

I have no qualms with that, to be fair.

Appreciate the shaver recommendation, but would you happen to know the best battery powered one? I'm an international businessman you know.

>>5759
>best battery powered one

Never seen a good one. You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave, when it is short it is stubbly and beardy and you need a perfect cut else it a) hurts and b) looks terrible. The baldfader is the best out there.

You can try razoring it too for a really close shave, but it takes a while to make it look good, a bit too long for me in the shower in the morning, so I use the baldfader on grade 0 twice a week, with grade 1 for the beard - it comes with all the attachments and doo-dahs. Use the razor for dates/interviews..

>>5759

>I'm an international businessman don't you know

>>5760

>You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave

Fair play. I've done a grade 0 on a generic battery powered one before, and it's alright but it's definitely a bit 'fuzzy'.

I'll get one, they're cheap enough too. There's a hilarious review of it on amazon, a bloke has posted three pictures of his head with a few tiny red splotches, and has complained in all caps about how it's nearly killed him. The shave looks great though.

>>5751
To a tailor, preferably multiple tailors, for a quote. You've not bothered your arse to give us an area so how can we recommend a place? Slaters don't make custom stuff, so you'll have to google it. It's not like there is convenient chain of tailors you can pop in and have a chat with, it's a high-end luxury market where only the very, very skilled survive as they are the only people who can justify charging more than an off-the-rack Lambretta suit that cost £200 and fits fine for most people's needs.

Genuine bespoke will cost you £2,000 minimum. £600 will get you something made-to-measure from the far east. A local tailor will take your measurements, your suit will be made up in some foreign sweatshop, then a couple of months later you'll have a final fitting and the option of minor alterations. Several high-street brands offer a made-to-measure service including Reiss and Massimo Dutti.

>>5752

I live in South Wales. It's a shame that there doesn't seem to be any local tailors around like in my granddad's day.

>>5753
>Genuine bespoke will cost you £2,000 minimum.

Aye, fuck that. Alterations to off-the-rack suits don't really cut it (I've tried). A made-to-measure will solve my problem just fine.

>Several high-street brands offer a made-to-measure service including Reiss and Massimo Dutti.

Great. Any of you lads have personal experience of using a made-to-measure service anywhere?

We used to have a good guide to buying suits from a few people who were knowledgeable in the area.

I've skimmed the catalogue and found >>4711 but I'm sure we had more than this.

>>5754
These are in Cardiff.

https://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/hawkes-bespoke-outfitters-cardiff

I can't speak for how good they are, but I'm also looking for a suit and was thinking of giving them a go.

"2 piece suit £699.99

3 piece suit £849.99"

https://www.hawkesbespokeoutfitters.co.uk/bespoke

I will just put a bit of shampoo and conditioner in my beard the same time as washing my hair. I also just use a normal comb to brush through a few drops of this stuff, once my beeard has dried. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bulldog-Original-Beard-Oil-30/dp/B01M1A2498 .

If your beard is puffy, a bit of beard oil really helps to just settle it down and stop you looking like a tramp. Beard shampoo and moisturiser doesn't seem to do much in my opinion.

>>5607

THANKS OBAMA.

(A good day to you Sir!)

I still have residual stubble with a safety razor no matter how many passes I do. Is it because I don't go against the grain?

>>5611

Some razors are quite mild and won't give a very close shave without an against-the-grain pass. If you have coarse stubble, you'll probably need an against-the-grain or across-the-grain pass with most razors. A super-aggressive razor like the Muhle R41 will give a very close shave in a single pass, but they'll rip your face to bits if you don't know what you're doing.

I'm sick of wet shaving. I think I'll buy the Aldi shaver. Is this a bad idea?

https://www.aldi.co.uk/visage-rotary-shaver/p/080149175078100

>>5746
The Aldi hair clipper I bought was unsatisfying. Technically worked, took ages. Relegated to spare of last resort, with a proper one bought for thrice the price.

>>5722
>>5723
Personally I always go with Joop! Homme but I'd trust anything under the brand. The ladies certainly seem to like it without it being the aftershave equivalent of Lynx Africa.

Sage ticked because OP has already gone out and bought some but I still want to add my voice to the choir for any lads looking in future.

>>5729

While you're there, see if they've got any Denim.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5TuGQcXgc8

>>5718

Old spice

>>5741

Thanks, grandad.

>>5706
Can you recommend any specific shoes or shops?

The only shoe shop (selling formal shoes) I know is Clarkes and their range is poo.

>>5732
What's your budget? The last pair of decent smart shoes I bought were about £80 from Harvey Nichols.

If you use shoe polish on Crocs it looks leather.

>>5733
I spent around that on my last pair

>>5706
So I suppose this would fit the bill right?

http://www.harveynichols.com/brand/bobbies/204779-le-splendide/p2903417/

Get a different beard trimmer? A lot of them have detachable heads so you can probably just buy a slightly longer blade protection thingy.

Get it trimmed by a barber.

>>5712

Pop down to your nearest Brantanos before they close for good. You might find something.

You couldn't press "ctrl+t" and type "shoe" into your browser? I find it hard to believe you wear clothes.

>>5712

Last time I checked it's about £20-25 for new heels at Timpsons. If you can find an independent cobbler near you it might be a little cheaper.

As long as the uppers aren't falling apart, it's definitely worth it, you're doubling the life of the shoe.

Thanks lads. Apart from you, >>5714. You're a wrong 'un.

>>5715
Plus one for Timpsons - they're actually very sound.

>>5681
How long does one of the 100g ones last?

>>5683
Four showers/baths.

OP, I've been thinking about this over the past few days, and I think the correct answer to your question is that you've misunderstood the problem.

The "oily film" that you feel with a shower gel is not necessarily the result of any oils or moisturisers in the gel.
Ordinary soap (sodium tallowate/sodium stearate etc.), is very very bad at dealing with water hardness. Soap draws the calcium out of the water and forms soap scum. That "squeaky clean" or dry feeling you have after using soap is the film of soap scum left behind on your skin.

Modern shower gels have chealating agents added (commonly some variety of EDTA), this keeps the hardness dissolved in water, which leaves your skin feeling slick after it's cleaned. Even in the "sensitive" gels such as the Sanex which don't have a chelating agent in, the main sufactant (SLS) is much less affected by water hardness than a traditional soap, so it still gives more of an oily feeling than soap.

Try this experiment: Buy a pack of borax substitute. Dissolve a few teaspoons of it in a bowl of water, and then wring your hands in it. You should notice that the water feels weirdly slippery. It's not making your skin oily, it's because it's stopping any of the minerals in the water from sticking to your skin.

>>5686
You are awesome. I tried your weird experiment and it was great. Never thought sticking my hand in slippery water would be so therapeutic.

I also went and checked the water hardness of the area I live in, and it is really bad. All in all, I guess you are right Chemistlad. I went back from using soaps to my cheap shower gels, since the slippery feel isn't me just being dirty.

>>5686
I love posts like this.

>>5633
Neither of us did.

>>5633

A chanologist went over to Nepal for his Buddhist cult. He told everyone he met there to use britfa.gs.

>>5637

You too could look as dashing as this chap.

>>5629

No. He doesn't know the site exists, although he does know of his status as piemaster. He sent me a Timpsons apron and a signed pic of himself. I've not got a pic of the apron at hand, sorry if this is a problem.

Incidentally OP pic is not him, but another fat guy with a smile.

Regards,
Memeforcelad

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>5547
This isn't going to end well.

>>5547
Is Gilly in the bunny suit?

It didn't take Columbo to work out that this is the work of some "Master Troll" who has stolen images that, glaringly, are of all different resolutions, sizes and image quality. They've assumed this poor, hapless furry fella's identity and as they have al been uploaded from the same Apple device (hence the image.jpg on every picture) it's not difficult to work out that, yes; OP is a shitehawk.

Do with this information what you will, lads.

>>5551
Furry? He's clearly just on some Chinese excursion. I've visited an Asian Tiger myself and there are loads of people dressed up in animal costumes promoting things in transport hubs.

>>5551

If OP is a bellend and /poof/ is a sfw board...