Absolute fucking nonce case.

Oh, you're Santa are you? You've had "Santa Claus" embroidered on the lining of your jacket for all the little kiddies to look at? I bet you've got a special treat in your pocket, you dirty bastard.

https://imgur.com/a/7LzqUnA

>5894 he a harmless nutter unlike yourself

>>5893
TOO EARLY

Thought it was Moondog for a second.

>>5889

Just try to disobey, see what happens m8

>>5890
Jimmy Savile.

>>5891
*Saville

>>5877
If it was tax deductible, can confirm I would do this.

>>5899

It could end up being straight up profitable if you hired them as an apprentice. You could get paid by the government for it, as long as you pretended to teach them about business or something while they trail behind you with your groceries.

>>5851
Socks too. Why is nobody wearing socks any more and wearing short trousers to show off their ankles like it's some kind of Victorian protest? Looks daft as all hell.

>>5853
I get bad foot odour and quite like wearing short running socks. They never smell and are comfortable around the ankles. I'm quite odd in some ways, I also wear a Fitbit just because I like it yet I smoke 15 cigarettes a day.

>>5854

But without socks the foot odour just lives directly on your feet and in your shoes.

>>5855
Just as nature intended.

>>5855

You can buy low socks that just go over the feet, but not the ankles.

>>5835

YES THEY DO

>>5836
Does .gs support markdown?

# * **GAS THE LIPTONS TEA WAR NOW** *

>>5837
http://britfa.gs/help/features.html

>>5838
Just thinking out loud really. It's been many moons since I perused the funky gibbon page and somehow I never noticed the size modifiers.

>>5828
Yes, perfectly every time if you hang-dry them properly on a wide-shouldered hanger. Bloomin magical.

>>5820
>if you're not, then getting your dick wet is likely not the remedy

This is such a crucial point. I had a mate who got himself sorted out and finally landed a proper girlfriend at the grand old age of 27 only to immediately destroy the relationship with all the insecurities and misery he had refused to deal with thus far because just hitting the gym for about a year was enough for him to superficially seem more 'normal'.

He wound up dropping out of uni (for the third time) and getting sectioned when it all fell apart because he simply wasn't equipped to deal with it emotionally.

>>5823
Wow, so there is someone in my socio-economic demographic worse off than me.

It's been done to death, but unless you're just looking for a bit of action, the best advice is going to be just be yourself. Exaggerate a little in the profile, and put a half-decent picture on it. If you're not that interesting, work on becoming more interesting, if only because you'll probably enjoy life a bit more in general. If you'rea bit of a cunt, work on being less of a cunt.

If you are just looking for some quick action, it may be easier to just pay a professional.

If you just fancy a laugh, go look up Super Seducer 2 on YouTube for some obvious advice, like don't say you'll cut her family into tiny pieces of she won't sleep with you. If you want to see the fragility of the PUA ego, I can heartily recommend the "call Mahmud" option.

>>5825
> If you want to see the fragility of the PUA ego, I can heartily recommend the "call Mahmud" option.
Can you elaborate on that? I can't even try to figure out what you're onto here.

>>5826

A secret ending of a game series that was widely panned by critics.

I honestly feel like the bloke is a lot more self-aware than anyone's giving him credit for. The game is pure cringe but I think he might know that.

My last barber was brilliant. She used to be a world class stylist doing the London fashion week and stuff like that, but then had to give it up when she got pregnant, and when she started work again took an easier job as a mens barber. Now I've moved 40 miles away and suddenly decided I want a proper haircut. I might take start going on a 2 hour round trip back to my old town just to save myself the stress of trying to find a decent unisex salon who wont try and talk to me about the x-factor.

>>5785
>barbers where everyone has sailor tattoos and elaborate beards
That sounds exactly like the barbers I go to. Twenty quid for a haircut and a beard trim isn't that bad.

Considering I had long hair and never really got my hair cut for 20 years, that first hair cut took nearly 2 hours. It looks a lot better than it used to, because seeing a bloke who is almost 40 with a ponytail is just kind of sad.

>>5788
I haven't found a truly decent barber since moving town about four years ago. I usually fit in a haircut now when I go back home to visit my parents.

>>5784

It's my experience that finding somewhere that you can ask that question is hard as hell. I've had to book myself into a Toni & Guy's in order to find someone who can look at my bonce and come up with something that doesn't make me look like a ponce. Everyone below that level just asks me what I want done and when I say "give me a cut that's going to look good on me" look at me like I'm talking martian.

>>5791
Thanks, and thanks to everyone elses suggestions.

I think I'll try the local toni & guys, but for various reasons I'm sort of set on a high fade faux-hawk or sensible-ish mohawk, so I might go down the route of showing them a few photos and say "something that would suit me similar to these."

>>5301
You're not a girl, Steve, we've been through this.

>>5302
I've found a lot of Nivea ones are pretty good. I've used both the "men's" Silver one and their 48h Invisible for Black/White, I was quite impressed that they seem to live up to their claims of keeping pit stink at bay for well over a day.

>>4368

So guess what Garnier have just discontinued?

https://www.facebook.com/Garnier.UK/posts/hi-can-you-tell-me-if-the-garnier-deodorant-is-being-discontinued-i-cant-get-it-/1048045148588573/

Ugh. I couldn't find it in Sainsbury's yesterday and hadn't looked for it for a few weeks because I'd stocked up. I haven't run out yet but am not looking forward to it. I've been used to my deodorant working perfectly for years.

>>5780
Tesco has it.

>>5781

thanks

I still have residual stubble with a safety razor no matter how many passes I do. Is it because I don't go against the grain?

>>5611

Some razors are quite mild and won't give a very close shave without an against-the-grain pass. If you have coarse stubble, you'll probably need an against-the-grain or across-the-grain pass with most razors. A super-aggressive razor like the Muhle R41 will give a very close shave in a single pass, but they'll rip your face to bits if you don't know what you're doing.

I'm sick of wet shaving. I think I'll buy the Aldi shaver. Is this a bad idea?

https://www.aldi.co.uk/visage-rotary-shaver/p/080149175078100

>>5746
The Aldi hair clipper I bought was unsatisfying. Technically worked, took ages. Relegated to spare of last resort, with a proper one bought for thrice the price.

>>5555
Can I pick these up anywhere on the high street?

Jizzum.

Arabian Goggles.

Witch hazel. If your eye bags are saggy and wrinkly rather than puffy, moisturise regularly.

>>5771
Sleep, steam rooms or Clinique.

>>5773
Jogggg on, you crazzzzzy diamond... doo doo dooo...

IPL will remove it permanently in most cases. It'll cost you about £50 for six sessions via Groupon.

>>5768
I've been strictly in bear territory since I was in my early 20s, but the shoulder hair only started in the last couple of years. I just shave it whenever I'm in the bath.

Baths are great things for keeping on top of all that. I use it to relax, then trim and shave everything that needs done and cut my finger and toenails. Then a quick shower, wash your hair, you've killed 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon. It's a nice little ritual.

I have sensitive skin and a raft of allergies, but Dove Men+Care roll-on seems fine. Unlike a lot of antiperspirants I've tried, it doesn't leave claggy stains on my undershirts.

>>5764
+1 Dove is good for that.

Mitchum advanced might be worth a try too.
Otherwise dove as the lad above said, and sanex both have versions for sensitive skin.

>>5766
I use Mitchum, it's very good. Never stink.

>>5757
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wahl-Afro-Baldfader-Mains-Clipper/dp/B000HC2MCK

Shave and be proud of getting old. I have one of these, it cuts the closest of all of them.

>>5758

>Shave and be proud

I have no qualms with that, to be fair.

Appreciate the shaver recommendation, but would you happen to know the best battery powered one? I'm an international businessman you know.

>>5759
>best battery powered one

Never seen a good one. You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave, when it is short it is stubbly and beardy and you need a perfect cut else it a) hurts and b) looks terrible. The baldfader is the best out there.

You can try razoring it too for a really close shave, but it takes a while to make it look good, a bit too long for me in the shower in the morning, so I use the baldfader on grade 0 twice a week, with grade 1 for the beard - it comes with all the attachments and doo-dahs. Use the razor for dates/interviews..

>>5759

>I'm an international businessman don't you know

>>5760

>You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave

Fair play. I've done a grade 0 on a generic battery powered one before, and it's alright but it's definitely a bit 'fuzzy'.

I'll get one, they're cheap enough too. There's a hilarious review of it on amazon, a bloke has posted three pictures of his head with a few tiny red splotches, and has complained in all caps about how it's nearly killed him. The shave looks great though.

>>5751
To a tailor, preferably multiple tailors, for a quote. You've not bothered your arse to give us an area so how can we recommend a place? Slaters don't make custom stuff, so you'll have to google it. It's not like there is convenient chain of tailors you can pop in and have a chat with, it's a high-end luxury market where only the very, very skilled survive as they are the only people who can justify charging more than an off-the-rack Lambretta suit that cost £200 and fits fine for most people's needs.

Genuine bespoke will cost you £2,000 minimum. £600 will get you something made-to-measure from the far east. A local tailor will take your measurements, your suit will be made up in some foreign sweatshop, then a couple of months later you'll have a final fitting and the option of minor alterations. Several high-street brands offer a made-to-measure service including Reiss and Massimo Dutti.

>>5752

I live in South Wales. It's a shame that there doesn't seem to be any local tailors around like in my granddad's day.

>>5753
>Genuine bespoke will cost you £2,000 minimum.

Aye, fuck that. Alterations to off-the-rack suits don't really cut it (I've tried). A made-to-measure will solve my problem just fine.

>Several high-street brands offer a made-to-measure service including Reiss and Massimo Dutti.

Great. Any of you lads have personal experience of using a made-to-measure service anywhere?

We used to have a good guide to buying suits from a few people who were knowledgeable in the area.

I've skimmed the catalogue and found >>4711 but I'm sure we had more than this.

>>5754
These are in Cardiff.

https://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/hawkes-bespoke-outfitters-cardiff

I can't speak for how good they are, but I'm also looking for a suit and was thinking of giving them a go.

"2 piece suit £699.99

3 piece suit £849.99"

https://www.hawkesbespokeoutfitters.co.uk/bespoke

I will just put a bit of shampoo and conditioner in my beard the same time as washing my hair. I also just use a normal comb to brush through a few drops of this stuff, once my beeard has dried. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bulldog-Original-Beard-Oil-30/dp/B01M1A2498 .

If your beard is puffy, a bit of beard oil really helps to just settle it down and stop you looking like a tramp. Beard shampoo and moisturiser doesn't seem to do much in my opinion.