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>> No. 1950 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 8:22 am
1950 spacer
So my toilet seat keeps falling down. I read online that you can remove the screws and move the seat forwards to prevent it happening. I'm not sure that applies to this case. Any ideas?
Expand all images.
>> No. 1951 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 8:27 am
1951 spacer
>>1950
In your case you would take the fixings, turn them 180 degrees so the bit sticking up is at the front, and reattach the seat there.

Or you could just stop leaving the seat up when you're done.
>> No. 1952 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 1:50 pm
1952 spacer
>>1951

I'm going to assume you are a woman and therefore don't understand the desire not to have a block of wood/plastic come crashing down on your bell end mid stream.
>> No. 1953 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 2:02 pm
1953 spacer
>>1952
#SmallDickProblems. Stop standing so close to the toilet.
>> No. 1954 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:06 pm
1954 spacer
>>1953
That doesn't make any sense.
>> No. 1955 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:06 pm
1955 spacer
>>1954
Think harder.
>> No. 1956 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:46 pm
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>>1955
1. The length of the penis has no bearing on how close you stand to the toilet because the speed with which the urine leaves the penis is controlled by the bladder. If anything, a bigger penis would have more drag on the urine, meaning those with big penises would have to stand closer.
2. Regardless, small penises would be less likely to be hit when the lid closes because they'd be more shielded by the hands, clothing and potential height advantage. There's just less of them there to be hit.
Hashtag fuck you, you're an idiot.
>> No. 1957 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:48 pm
1957 spacer
>>1956
You're still missing the obvious.
>> No. 1958 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:50 pm
1958 spacer

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>>1957
I've illustrated it so you can understand more easily.
>> No. 1959 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:55 pm
1959 spacer

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>>1958
>If anything, a bigger penis would have more drag on the urine
Sure thing, Einstein.
>> No. 1960 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 4:56 pm
1960 spacer
>>1959
Those barrels don't have weight on top of them pushing them closed.
>> No. 1961 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:01 pm
1961 spacer
Bell ends, the pair of you.
>> No. 1962 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:06 pm
1962 spacer
>>1961
At least I'm the bigger bellend.
>> No. 1963 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:07 pm
1963 spacer
>>1960
Who is pushing your cock down? What? How can you say that a longer cock doesn't have any bearing on the speed of your piss? You could stand further back if you have a massive cock. If you don't, well then you would have to sit down like a fucking woman.

You obviously have #SmallDickProblems and insecurities surrounding it.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 1964 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:13 pm
1964 spacer
>>1963
The mass of the penis pushes down on the urethra. There's no correlative relationship between the width of the urethra and the rest of the penis.
>You could stand further back if you have a massive cock
You could, but the end of the penis would be no closer or further from the falling toilet seat.
>> No. 1965 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:21 pm
1965 spacer
How fucking high is your toilet or how fucking short are your legs that you are at series risk of having your penis clattered by the toilet seat and not just at risk of making a massive mess of piss if it falls?
>> No. 1966 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:26 pm
1966 spacer
I think at least one dirty bastard here has a devil may care attitude to getting piss on the bathroom floor, standing 4 feet away and performing a spray and pray. Me I consider myself a man of class but not a Nancy boy, consequently I will stand close enough to the toilet to ensure the piss goes in but wouldn't dream of sitting. I therefore consider it highly within my interest to ensure there aren't any dangerously faulty toilets about that will scrape the bell end of sophisticated gentlemen like myself but will leave these yobbos genitals intact. From a pure evolutionary perspective I loathe the idea of a society where only those who sit and those who piss all over floors are left in a reasonable state to reproduce.
>> No. 1967 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 5:32 pm
1967 spacer
>>1966
This may be the suavest thing I've ever read in my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpGFESbLMKU
>> No. 1968 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 6:09 pm
1968 spacer
>>1966
How many hands does it take to piss? Would you not have one spare to keep the seat in check?
>> No. 1969 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 6:22 pm
1969 spacer
>>1968

Ah, you see that requires leaning forward over the bowl which although doable is undeniably inconvenient.

It also realises on local knowledge, by the time you realise for yourself that the toilet seat spontaneously falls it has already slammed down and one grazing of a John Thomas I think we can all agree is one too many.
>> No. 1970 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 7:00 pm
1970 spacer
>>1969
>It also realises on local knowledge
Lift the seat, wait and see if it falls. If it doesn't go down in a matter of seconds, it's safe.
>> No. 1971 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 7:03 pm
1971 spacer
>>1970
Mate, if it were that easy, why did I go and buy this annotated map of all the local toilets complete with seat safety rating? Do you think I'm stupid or something?
>> No. 1972 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 7:29 pm
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>>1971
You got mugged mate. You could have used opentoiletmap.org for free.
>> No. 1973 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 7:29 pm
1973 spacer
Several of my mates have (or in the past have had) toilet seats that don't stay up.

It's a five minute job to permanently fix, vs. having to hold the thing up and stand at a weird angle every single time you take a piss.

It's such an obvious choice, I just don't understand.
>> No. 1974 Anonymous
24th August 2015
Monday 7:43 pm
1974 spacer
>>1973
You need better friends.
>> No. 1975 Anonymous
25th August 2015
Tuesday 1:15 am
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>>1973
>It's such an obvious choice, I just don't understand.

one could say...

They are taking the piss.
>> No. 1976 Anonymous
25th August 2015
Tuesday 5:34 am
1976 spacer
>>1951
>In your case you would take the fixings, turn them 180 degrees so the bit sticking up is at the front, and reattach the seat there.

Ok, I'll try that.

>Or you could just stop leaving the seat up when you're done.
It's not that. It falls down mid-stream as >>1952 alludes to.

>>1973
Would you suggest the same as >>1951

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