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Subject   (reply to 6630)
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>> No. 6630 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 6:10 pm
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Hi, so basically I'm on the dole right now and have 4,000 in savings, under the threshold.

My parents gave me 6 grand and told me to fuck off out the house. I'm super frugal so while jcp sees massive savings I just see savings for my future/rainy day fund.

Problem is it's taken me over the threshold. Any advice how to obfuscate this cash or will I have to stash it under the bed or something?

I appreciate the help. No moralfags please... people are doing much worse things.
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>> No. 6631 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 6:28 pm
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Open an account with a different bank and put it all in there?
>> No. 6632 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 6:47 pm
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Can't they just look into your other bank accounts? Or do they only have the power to check the account you've officially declared to them?
>> No. 6633 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 6:56 pm
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This is what I heard, they get Revenue & Customs to do regular checks on all bank accounts you own.
>> No. 6634 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 7:37 pm
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Bugger. Pardon my shit suggestion, chaps.
>> No. 6635 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 7:40 pm
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>I just see savings for my future/rainy day fund.
It sounds an awful lot like it's raining, lad.
>> No. 6636 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 9:48 pm
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Convert to bitcoin.
>> No. 6637 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 10:06 pm
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>Convert to bitcoin.
Bitcoin is risky and unpredictable. Instead buy something more stable such as gold or diamonds, pay cash, don't declare them, and claim you lost the money gambling.
>> No. 6638 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 10:28 pm
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Just get a job lad.
>> No. 6639 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 11:02 pm
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There is always that.
>> No. 6641 Anonymous
21st September 2016
Wednesday 11:54 pm
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You'll still be eligible for benefits with £10,000 in savings, they'll just reduce your payments by £16 a week. The reduction is £1 per £250 over the threshold.

Be careful about trying to conceal the savings, because they can prosecute you for fraud. JobCentre staff are looking for any excuse, because they've got targets to meet.

If your parents gave you the money in cash, then I'd suggest just stashing it under the bed. If they made a bank transfer, I'd gradually withdraw the money in dribs and drabs rather than taking it out as one lump sum. Think up plausible excuses for spending the money in case you're challenged about it.

Taking it out in one go won't help; they'll say that you "deliberately deprived yourself of capital" and reduce your benefit as if you still had the money. The burden of proof is on you to show that you spent the money legitimately, not on the Jobcentre to show that you've hidden the money.

You can see the full rules at the link below, if you fancy wading through 191 pages of bumf:

>> No. 6642 Anonymous
22nd September 2016
Thursday 12:11 am
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That's why you save money you knobhead.
>> No. 6644 Anonymous
22nd September 2016
Thursday 5:24 am
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In my experience this never happens. Touch wood, etc. I've made six figure sums disappear from right under the eyes of the benefits lot.

Your best bet is to put the money in an account of someone you know who works, or even better create a trustee account for a child and stash the cash there. Not even HMRC can take money out of a child's trustee account.

If you can't do that for whatever reason then as >>6637 suggests either buy gold (or better yet, silver) or just withdraw the cash and stash it in a safety deposit box or whatever.

The benefits savings policy is one of my pet hates, it basically incentivises those on benefits to fritter money away rather than save it, and it penalises the assiduous worker who diligently saves up rather than pissing their paycheque up the wall when he is inevitably laid off. Unemployment benefit in this country needs a completely rehaul.

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