>>29639
Or if you want to be a sarcastic online teenager, "cOvId-19"

>>29639
>As far as I'm aware the WHO named the coronavirus "Covid-19", but people keep writing it as "COVID-19"
u fkin wot m8

People who keep spelling martial law as marshall law, as if they expect Eminem to show up and start running things.

>>29687

The Chinese virus needs Chinese solutions

Americans writing "Antifa" as though it was an acronym (i.e. ANTIFA). I can accept any other variation, but this one is irritating.

>>23233
Did they have chicken in stock?

>>23234
Yes.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/28/uk-records-largest-single-day-increase-in-covid-19-deaths-to-1019

>The UK has recorded its biggest day-on-day increase in the number of people to die of Covid-19 infection since the outbreak began, taking the total to 1,019.

>Department of Health figures reveal that at 5pm on Friday the toll had increased by 260 from 759 the day before.

>The 34% rise is the largest day-on-day percentage increase since 18 March, when the total rose by 46% from 71 to 104.


ITZ!!!

>>23235
Weird, usually the stock is separate.

We're now at 645K corona cases worldwide.

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/


My suspicion is still that the real, undocumented number is in the tens of millions worldwide.

>>29704
I don't think my scrum master (yes, they're actually called that) would appreciate me telling him that his job isn't particularly necessary. I might moot changing it to a Monday-Wednesday-Friday structure, but we have client-side people who sporadically join in and I think they like knowing they can check our progress on any random morning.

Besides, while I'm a specialist, I'm still the newest joiner on my team. I'd rather not rock the boat since I have no interest in office politics and prefer to just do my work.

>>29705

>I'm still the newest joiner on my team

Maybe that's the problem, this seems more like a system for programmers.

We read out sales from about 10 different areas every Monday to Wednesday. The best part is that most of the people doing the reading are reasonably shy or not wonderful at English. It tends to be quite enduring to stand through and I stand far away so I often don't hear anything. There are days when people read out the figures entirely wrong and we all just let it happen.

I can see the potential for 1-2 morning meetings a week but they really should be short and sweet.

>>29707

There's a thing in aviation like that, where everyone gets on a conference call once a week just to read out the number of delays they've had that week and why. They're stopped because of this bollocks and I hope they never come back - they make no sense. The delays are already common knowledge and fed back to the airline's operations departments by email, movement messages, and ACARS feeds daily anyway, so these calls are, I assume, literally there to shame people, or because upper management are too lazy or thick to look at the reports.

>>29705
>I might moot changing it to a Monday-Wednesday-Friday structure

Never organise catch-ups on a Monday. You won't have much of an idea of how your weeks going to go and therefore the whole team is so focused on not looking a dosser that they don't listen to other people. Likewise, nobody wants to do a meeting on a Friday - don't be a dick.

I don't work in programming but I do work in an industry with too many managers. What worked for me was to moan about it with other people so that when you send the email it has some weight to it without naming names. Then you convince them to make the meeting on a Tuesday afternoon when everyone is so busy that it never happens again.

>>435706

Was anyone in there taking advantage of the exotic atmosphere to knob their girlfriend?

>>435707

>taking advantage of the exotic atmosphere to knob their girlfriend

I vaguely remember that this must be a reference to something someone posted here a while ago, but I can't be arsed to figure it out.

>>435708

I think he's referring to that one cunt off about the lads who need to speak a bit of Spanish to get in their girlfriend's pants, and the other lad who takes her in the bathroom at Nandos.

>>435714

Getting someone for a shag in a pub toilet in Blackpool is certainly the bigger challenge.

>>435708
I think it's just normal for Blackpool.

>>5123

Mirth. You should take that to the Harry Potter subreddit and send the resident Marxist lunatics into frothy ravaging meltdown.

Romanian deadlifts might be the answer?

>>5121
It's to make you want to slither in.

>>5125
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality fixes most everything about the universe.

>>5125

Fiction is totally unrealistic, how could there be a person called indiana jones that looks identical to Harrison Ford that would be statistically improbable also it is impossible genetically that a man that looks identical Sean Connery could be his father. Are we supposed to just suspend all logic and reason and knowledge of biology? Wow I really hope someone got fired for that blunder.

>What can I do?

Get outside, the internets isn't real.

>>29019
>Chan boards? Infested with alt-right mouthbreathers

As someone that's been on a certain imageboard on-and-off for what'll be ten years in 2020, I know how you feel, m8. I hate these people about as much as those redditors you mentioned. I just saw that this meme (a meme that was part of the reason I really grew sick of the place) is apparently now so ubiquitous that it's trended on knowyourmeme:

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-eternal-anglo

Maybe I'm also just getting older, but the lack of any kind of civility online is just tiring to me, now. The internet has rarely ever been civil, but *at least* I knew there was an element of freedom of expression, as older people still didn't quite understand what kids did. Now we're not even gonna have that. All the places I've browsed for years are full and under a corporate thumb that once wasn't there, and if they are there, the place quickly becomes full of childish ideologues and oh-so hilarious memers.

What I will say is that I agree very much with this lad >>29030. I'm very lucky that I have a friend who thinks similarly to me, but he's admittedly also a lot more socially mature, less anxious. He thinks many of the things I think, but he's also just a kind, grounded person. He was once a lot more addicted to chans and the internet, but he hasn't been for years, now. He focuses on the outside world, and he just seems happier for it. Thinking of him keeps me remembering that the world outside, at least as it currently is, doesn't really give a shit about most of us, and that those that concern themselves with the internet too much are the ones ultimately doing themselves harm. They think they're so smart, so learned, so funny, but they're rarely making the difference that they think they are.

I guess to just summarise: The world does keep turning. And unless we hear nuclear sirens going off or you see tanks rolling down your street; then you've got the rest of your life to go out and enjoy it. I'd recommend getting the money together to visit national parks, forests, museums, etc. Don't mind the weather, just give it a go. It'll at least remind you that you're alive.

>>29028
Ive had the same thoughts recently.

This might sound a little forward, but I feel a weird affinity with you after reading your post and I feel like I'd love to get to know you

In the space of fifteen years, online discourse has gone from isolated communities astonished to discover how many different points of view there are around the world, to becoming a hyperpartisan, hyperpolitical clusterfuck.

I don't post much any more, because I can tell that taking sense isn't doing any good. And that's, reassuringly, why arguing on the internet has got worse- because millions of us have attained enlightenment and bugged out of it. There are lots of us out there but we don't realise it because we've stopped communicating our presence.

I think a lot of us have used the internet to cathartically purge ourselves of a lot of the ugliness we see in others and have gone on to start families and have careers and such.

Meaningful conversation with the good guys tends to be brief. The good guys don't argue. They politely inform one another of facts, briefly research to confirm veracity, and thank each other for shoring up one another's ignorance. Conversation with the bad guys is a Sisyphean exercise in masochism, where they learn nothing and the only lesson you can learn is to not bother. So their rambling bleats tend to dominate message boards and such like.

Try getting pen pals. I had one for a while a few years back where we solely communicated via email and I found it rather cathartic. A nice break from everything else online where you're generally getting instant responses and quickly disposable stimulation; you can properly reflect and think about what you're trying to say.

>>27411
I don't think much of that outro music.

Christ, that's a women.

>>435705

Right, with social distancing right now, it's going to be pretty rough going for many a younglad. Anybody who's not in a relationship will pretty much have to just keep knocking a few out every day.

Which is all the more reason to expect that once the coronavirus restrictions have been lifted, people are just going to become lost in a continuous, several months long, booze and drug fuelled countrywide bonk of everybody with everybody.

And that could then actually go a long way giving even the most self-pitying shut ins a shot at getting laid.

>>435709
https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-health-coronavirus-malaysia-karex/condom-shortage-looms-after-coronavirus-lockdown-shuts-worlds-top-producer-idUKKBN21E1PK

>>435709

If this goes on for more than a few weeks, I predict an epidemic of incest.

>>435711
So we will be Baby Boomers 2.0

>>435709
Don't give me hope, lad.

>>8354

I thought you could here? There used to be booze-and-fags delivery places on HungryHouse that were open until 4am and charged exorbitant prices. Granted I gave up drinking in 2017 so maybe they've been banned since.

>>8351

They were welding people's doors shut in China so I imagine that helped.

>>8356

To be fair, if someone could weld me in on my tod with 500 bottles of vodka and not turn my water off until it's over I'd be stoked.

>>8355
You can definitely still get booze delivered (for about twice as much as an offie or supermarket charges). There's a 24/7 cornershop near me so it's never been tempting until now.

I am running low. All I got is a half rum. I felt bad, but then I realised, I am happy when I drink. So I started again. I blame corona.

All I am missing is a hooker, but they don't wanna come out any longer. Sad state of affairs.

>>13262

So many guilty wanks to this one.

>>13265

Have you tried SARAH MILLICAN'S SQUELCHY FANNY CUSTARD yet?

God, Sarah Millican is gorgeous but her reliance on toilet humour is a real turn off. I'd still eat her arse, though, no guilt about it.

I've finally got around to trying the No Chick Strips from Iceland's vegan range. A lot of brands that try to replicate the texture of chicken with layers of layers of hydrated soya protein fuck it horribly by making it too chewy or too watery but these were spot on. In fact, they might be the best veggie chicken I've tried but they should be at that price.

>>435594
It's not nice to remind people of their advanced years in times like this.

>>435594

Yeah you're a good generation younger than me and probably went to a school with a lot less urban yootz. Good for you lad.

One of you left a post that was also an envelope full of money for people to take as and when they needed it. I don't really need anything, but I liked the dream logic of being able to post a physical wad of cash onto the net, so I'm telling you all about it now.

>>435653
I got a chuckle out of this picturing myself being paid for dreaming overtime - cash in hand.

I'd probably do overtime in my sleep if I could.

I've recently been having dreams where I've been living entirely alternate lives.

The other day I woke up feeling like Arnold Rimmer in "Thanks for the memory" after having spent the whole night dreaming about a perfect girlfriend who never existed.

Last night I was dreaming that I was in uni as a foreign exchange student. Not only were all the popular birds dead into me and my ability to speak their language but I was training with and doing private lessons daily with one of my jiu jitsu heroes.

I don't think I have to get on the old ouija board to Sigmund to figure out what's going on in my subconscious lately.

>>65174
u fuckin wot m8?

>>15313
This won't result in phone networks getting range banned again will it?

>>15315
Depends how badly you abuse them.

>>15313
What are you gonna do, huh, what the FUCK are you gonna do when the world runs out of IP addresses for you to ban? The website will be empty because no-one will be able to post here. Didn't think that through eh?

>>15317

>The website will be empty because no-one will be able to post here

THE DREAM

>>15317
>>15318

In this light, my approach to idiots on my social media this last week and modlad's approach to idiots on his SpudChan seem eerily similar.

Only a carpet-bagger needs a quick response.

Have they changed Wotsits? They pack I had wasn't very puffy.

>>435655

They're running low on puff gas because of corona.

>>435655
Pretty sure squares have got thinner as well. Not nearly as crunchy as they used to be.

>>435668
If squares got thinner they'd be rectangles.

>>435669

They should really be called cuboids, not squares as a line has no thickness in geometry innit.

>>65150

I love the scots verdict of "Not proven". I always think it's the court saying "He dunnit and we know 'e dunnit but we can't prove it so on with yer".

>>65161

Which is pretty much what Michael Jackson's jurors said after his trial ..."We're sure he did it, we just couldn't prove it on this occasion."

>>65161
You seem to have completely misread the post you are replying to, which is itself a refutation of yours.

That post is saying that the verdict means the prosecution's case is so rubbish that there is virtually no charge to answer to begin with.

>>65169
that was my first post in the thread, i didn't bother to read the rest of it.

anyway:

"Both in the "solemn" and the "summary" acquittals, not proven is interpreted as indicating that the jury or judge, respectively, is not convinced of the innocence of the accused; in fact, they may be morally convinced that the accused is guilty, but do not find the proofs sufficient for a conviction. One reason for this is the rule that in such cases the evidence for the prosecution must be corroborated in order to permit a conviction. Thus, there might be a single plaintiff or witness for the prosecution, which the jury or judge believes is both truthful and trustworthy, but no other witness or circumstances against the accused. By Scottish law, the accused then should be acquitted, but often will be so by the verdict not proven.[1]"

that's not the same thing as having 'no charge to answer'. I think you're happily choosing your own interpretation here.

The prosecution gambit was to get him under the Moorov Doctorine - if a lot of people say he's a sexual criminal, then all of their claims (absent other evidence) can corroborate one another and be entered as evidence. What actually happened is when they went trawling for claims (interviewing over 400 women) they had to really reach, drawing in things like "tugging on hair" to try and get a reasonable number of cases in. I think including farcical charges like that undermined their whole case, the jury thought it was bollocks and threw the whole lot out.

The whole business with SNP factionalism around this is very interesting. Sturgeon clearly wasn't on his side and expressed no gladness he'd been found innocent (unlike some other SNP representatives), the Scottish Government has already been sued by Salmond for cocking up their internal investigation into his behaviour - but Sturgeon gets on with the civil servant who was in charge of it and re-appointed them. It'll be interesting to see what evidence of a conspiracy Salmond presents, having claimed he's got it but couldn't enter it into the trial.

I have the same thing, with Three? They seem to let it slide until I try to post something.

I'm not the admin but I'm willing to bet it's an ISP issue not a .gs one.

>>15302
Agreed, Three are always trying to tell me the content filter is on when it isn't.

>>435644

Modsontheblob.

>>435643
> The movement behind the walkouts, Fridays for Future, has told strikers to conduct protests virtually due to the pandemic, which Thunberg said was a collective decision taken at an emergency remote meeting.

How do you do a virtual strike against school while in lockdown? Do you actively go outside or do you just put on a very stern face indeed and livestream yourself playing videogames (because you were doing your schoolwork at home the rest of the week, honest).

It's all such total nonsense at this point. Utter tosh.

>>435648

>How do you do a virtual strike against school while in lockdown?

Pretty obvious and easy to do if your school is doing virtual lessons.

>>435649

Jesus wept, does that actually happen? I thought everyone was home-schooling (or watching Loose Women and Love Island while pretending to anyway). Well that's me well telt anyway. Good luck to them.

Some genuinely good news for a change:

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/25/global-efforts-on-ozone-help-reverse-southern-jet-stream-damage

>The new paper, published in the journal Nature, shows that the Montreal protocol has paused the southward movement of the jet stream since the turn of the century and may even be starting to reverse it as the ozone hole begins to close. Last September, satellite images revealed the ozone hole annual peak had shrunk to 16.4m sq km, the smallest extent since 1982.

>>65160
>His name is slightly exotic

How dare you! Idris is a traditional Welsh name, It is name it is the name of a red hot dragon not one of your lumping great fairy tale dragons but a small chime heraldic welsh dragon who lives on smoke hill he does. Jones the steam found him up there you see.

>>65162

I always associated Idris with Fiery Ginger Beer.

Idris sounds like a contagious skin disease that gives you flakey eczema on your eyelids.

>>65165
Not really, it's a really old name and one familiar to anyone with a passing knowledge of Shamanism.

>>65167
wotevs, idris

>>23460
Seconding all of these.

Also if you were into platform games on the PC back in the early 90s then you might have encountered Jill of the Jungle and Bio Menace. Neither were stand-out titles in the shareware era in particular but the former is notable for being programmed by Tim Sweeney, who went on to found Epic, program the Unreal Engine and steer its course from Quake competitor to industry-wide middleware dominance, and then do Fortnite for 250 million kids or whatever it is now. He makes me feel like a right lazy cunt. Bio Menace is just pure Apogee nostalgia. Strangely gory, actually. I quite liked it back in the day.

>>23456
Beneath a Steel Sky is hilarious and well worth a playthrough. Some of the dialog is brilliant, though the accents on the voice acting can be a little distracting at times. Can't say anything for the other games.

>>23465
Joey was such a little shit.

>>23467
That's not very nice, Rob.

Drawful 2 is currently free on steam
https://store.steampowered.com/app/442070/Drawful_2/

The jackbox games are largely terrible and you only buy each pack to get one game out of them, and now they have made the best one free.