>>421308

A petrol reservoir under the seat that can be set remotely to combust and fire a 'piston' right up through the seat.

I'll call it the Bum Bandit.

>>421312

I had a bum bandit once, but it was fine after I replaced the head gasket and cleaned the carbs.

>>421313

I've been reading Zen and the art of motor cycle matance if this is real that might explain why the authors son is constantly agitated.

>>421314

>>421279
This is appalling.

That's what a lack of police resources will do. Also I didn't realize they can knock them off. I heard somewhere that the police can't pursue mopeds but that may just be with the driver without a helmet on.

>>4506
You know how reasonable doubt works. Lay out a plausible alternative for us that accounts for two deaths, three seriously ill, and the presence of two positively identified GRU operatives in a residential area of Salisbury in the vicinity of the target's home and nowhere near the tourist trail.

Or alternatively, save yourself some money by bulk-buying incontinence pads on AliExpress.

>>4507
I can't question the validity of a claim unless I offer an alternative? Sorry to say it, but you're being silly.

Could it be that the specifics of the murky world of international espionage are simply unknown to a bunch of ill-informed pseuds on an imageboard? You're wanting a certainty that is far beyond any of our clearances.

I merely pointed out how those who don't accept the inconsistent narrative offered by the British state, are subsequently (and routinely) smeared by establishment media. This shouldn't be a surprise. But perhaps, to you, it is.

>>4508
>I can't question the validity of a claim unless I offer an alternative?
Correct. That is generally how scepticism works. If you want to question the explanation, you need to explain what doesn't add up or what isn't accounted for. All you've in before "that wasn't me" done is spot empty incoherent conspiracy bollocks.

>a bunch of ill-informed pseuds on an imageboard
PKB, lad.

>>4508

Well lets look at what you've actually claimed and go from there...

>The laughably incompetent assassins of the world's most nefarious security state (completely subverting our rather bloated GCHQ) - run simultaneously by a decentralised "Wild East" oligarchy and the iron will of that modern day Napoleon, Putin -

>The laughably incompetent assassins of the world's most nefarious security state (completely subverting our rather bloated GCHQ)

GCHQ is not omnipotent and this isn't a group of eskimo teenagers plotting a jihad on Facebook. The Russian agents understand how to use secure methods of communication. It would be like claiming that 9/11 couldn’t happen because the US air force exists.


>run simultaneously by a decentralised "Wild East" oligarchy and the iron will of that modern day Napoleon, Putin -

I'm not quite sure what you are trying to claim here, it is almost like you are trying to say the attack couldn't have happened because it is impossible for the Russian state to exist and operate even though it plainly does as we see it every day. Those 2 ideas are not as contradictory as you think that is basically how the Roman Empire operated for hundreds of years.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>4509
Is that name of the .gs intelligence agency? The PKB?

>>2175

I love how casually he stands above it and tips a bottle of meths on top.
I'm not at all averse to using the more advanced BBQ lighting techniques, but I at least do it at arms length and use safety-squints.

That time of the year again lads.

Winner can annoy purps into making the winner the /uhu/ banner and get one free shitpost.

>>2468
I made a very small OwO pumpkin this year as I was feeling lazy. Any candle in it goes out almost immediately due to it not being big enough and it's already starting to crumple.

>>2469
Apparently cutting the hole from the bottom of the pumpkin and carving it from there rather than the top helps them last longer and not fall in on themselves, as does coating the insides in lemon juice after hollowing them out. Also, if you put cinnamon on the sides after when you go to put a candle in it it'll smell like the flat of that girlfriend that left you.

>>2470
what part of "lazy" don't you get?

>>27810
I've always hated the "we'll only replace it with an identical part, or no refunds until it's gone back to the manufacturer themselves" policy that Scan has.

I am so tired. I've generally been sleeping half 10 until half 6 so a decent eight hours but it's not feeling like enough. Am I going to turn into my Name and go to bed at about 8pm?

>>27812
Noel Early?

>>27809
In just 4 minutes of video I've swung from absolute disbelief to full acceptance: there is no way that woman is from Birmingham, but the bit where the general says "everyone is treated the same when it comes to...dying" is fantastically bleak and accurate for the armed forces. Other highlights were when he nearly tripped up on the second time he said "negro" and it ended up sounding more like "nigg-ros". So close. Amazing.

>>27813
You bastard, I spat coffee all over my keyboard.

Sorry to hear that lad.

Do you have any idea if there's a trigger behind them? I had some pretty brutal ones and I found that a few simple CBT sessions really cleared them up.

>>27547
I've suffered from night terrors for years and they are usually induced by times of stress. I have abnormal stress responses anyway, so I think the nightmares are an extension of that. I've been given a few different medications over the years to help me have a dreamless sleep, with differing success. Therapy is by far the best method of combating the mechanisms which induce nightmares.

If you're really in a bind though, high doses of Diazepam and even small doses of Amitriptyline have helped me.

>>421323
Rat killer, friend of biketheiflad and Crab killer.

>>421323

Best way to catch a rat is with a long box or cardboard poster tube. What you do is place it by the edge of the wall in the opposite direction from where you are coming at the rat. When you spook the rat it will run for the nearest place that it thinks you can't get to it, which will be in the box/tube.

>>421322

that is a pretty good treat.

>>421321
I honestly didn't know you could get an Asian girl with an English lass's arse. Like all the bulk went to her chest first and left nothing behind.

Pun intentional.

>>421324
Let's not forget the fiendish Beach-Litterer

I sometimes use a mask I purchased for this very purpose from the Cambridge Mask Company.

One noticeable difference while wearing it out and about is that people are unable to see you smile at them. So if you catch someone's eye and want to be friendly, or bump into someone and want to look apologetic, you can't. It's quite dramatic how being bereft of that single facial expression can suddenly make you a social outcast, quite apart from wearing something odd in the first place.

>>4679
u wot m8. Hijab's would cover the mask, so OP-lad wouldn't need to be self-conscious about his mask. Hijab's are the most socially acceptable way of covering your face that I could think of, hence the suggestion.

>>4677
>>4679
Oh look, the flagbearer for the perpetually offended brigade has arrived.

>>4686
Fuck you granddad.

Stop being twats in /fat/...s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDHMjO7UbMo

>>27541

>apart from the fact they all look the same

I had considered that - but none of my friends are bald, and from now on I'll just be careful to never befriend or be seen with any other bald bloke (sorry purps), to avoid the comparison.

I don't wear glasses so that separates me from the moby, moby, moby, micheal stipe etc. of it all.

>>27541
I thought that was the principal from community before reading your post.

28 years on this Earth and I have finally figured out how to deal with arseholes. It's so fucking simple I just never thought of it before...

Ask them about their dads. It's as simple as that. They crumble like a house of fucking cards. They won't bother you again. They'll just be done.

I have father issues myself but jesus, if someone is offering you unsolicited, brutally honest, "advice" this will knock em for six. If someone is moody and expects the world to just kind of fall in line... same deal. I literally asked my father about his father (a man he was once happy to tell me all about whilst beating and torturing me) and suddenly he had better things to do. It's so fucking easy I feel like it has to be a cheat somehow.

>>27546
Could you provide examples?

>>61751

Oh my.

>>61751

I always assumed I liked that song based on the samples in the show.

Turns out the rest of the song is utter shit.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQx-H2av1PM

>>61754
I like it.

>>61754

This is pretty sick lad cheers

>>8121

Thanks. I'll strike that off.

I've also considered going back to piracetam and that type of drug, but didn't notice much of a difference on first try a few years ago.

What's their legal status?

>>8122

If you can't get high from it, then you can (almost certainly) legally import it for personal use.

>>8120
>>8121

Doctor Shopping is getting harder and harder. Sometimes your best bet is a day trip to a less privileged EU member state; as long as you have a personal amount on your and you have a valid prescription to go with it then you should be OK.

I've literally been pulled aside for super extra mega checks because one of my pieces of hand luggage tested positive for something or other used in explosives and no one even cared to investigate my clearly labeled transparent "medications" ziplock.

>>8123

It's all miserably subjective; I defy anyone to get high off Pyrazolam but that doesn't make it any more legal under the PSA.

>>8106

I dabbled with modafinil at Uni.

The first time I used it I was able to make a lot of progress on an essay all through the night, and it was one of my highest scoring essays too. Modafinil can give a push to really get into the research, reading and writing needed for academic work.

However, this was not always the case. There were times where I would take modafinil and just get distracted doing other tasks and I'm fairly certain one my worst essay was also written on modafinil too.

SocialialIy I became more irritable on it, with less patience for others. This meant that seminars were no fun at all on it.

It would always destroy my sleeping pattern (even if I only took half a tablet) and my god, walking home from the uni library after been awake all night and 'coming down' off that stuff damn near gave me panic attacks. I could not handle hearing or seeing other people, I was incredibly anxious and scared, and I believe downers were needed to calm me down when I got home (this was when you could still get etizolam legally).

I must have finished what I had by my third year, and then just stuck to red bulls, coffee and ciggies, if I needed stimulation to help me cram. I felt all the better for not taking modafinil and still got pretty similar marks on my essays. There's not many drugs I'd be happy to never do again, but modafinil is one of them.

>>8106
I've used it regularly (and still do semi regularly) as either modafinil or armodafinil. I'm slightly happer with the latter.

For me, it works like a strong coffee that lasts 8-12 hours without any chance of the jitters. It's no wonder drug and it does not make me more "intelligent" or "smarter". What it does do is allow me to concentrate for longer and be less susceptible to distraction with one major caveat: I need to be motivated to work on the right thing in the first place. It's just as good at sustaining a pointless wiki deep dive on Burmese basket weaving as it is to get work done.

I take 100mg Modafinil or 75mg Armodafinil first thing in the morning and had no trouble sleeping using this approach.

The only downside I've noticed is mild bruxism during the day.

>>12744

unSurprisingly Waitrose allow me to buy tampons despite their not being marketed to me. Silly moo.

>>12750
>despite their not being marketed to me

Waitrose called it Gentlemen's Smoked Chicken Caesar Roll because it contains gentlemen's relish, or at least Heston's take on it, rather than because they were aiming it at men.

>>12751

Then the noise is even more stupid. Even if a sandwich were marketed at men it'd be no more sexist than having different shaving razors marketed to men and women.

I realise I'm preaching to the choir here guys, sorry. I'm just a bit flabbergasted - unless that twitter account is a troll account in which case well done them they got me to bite.

>>12752
>unless that twitter account is a troll account

Nope.

>>12753

I mean, in one sense of the word 'troll' it is.

I'd received an email today which was signed off reminding me that great people don't see problems, they see solutions.

In this particular instance I'd had to tell my colleague that I couldn't do any work with what they've provided me because it was a steaming pile of shite, with the only conceivable solution being for them to do their job properly.

>>12661

"reminding me that great people don't see problems, they see solutions."

Which great person if any has ever said that? You know who did have a solution though? Hitler.

>>12662
It's one of those bullshit sayings used by knobhead managerial types because they think they're sharing profound wisdom when they tell it to people, like "I'd rather be a leader than a swallower" or "assume makes an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'".

>>12663

There's no "i" in "team" but there's a "u" in "cunt".

>>12663

That fucking picture of the 'leader' and the workers dragging the workload, I've seen that thing posted by so many fucking ineffective managers in my time.

>>84502
Is that the woman who accused Clarence Thomas? He fascinates me. Apparently he went something like 20 years without saying a word on the bench because he feels judges should be listening, not talking.

>>84503
Judging, surely, is the prime adjective of the judge?

>>84498
A lower calibre of politician. Even in 1997, The Times was calling Theresa May out on being a Robo-Politician.
Blair, Brown and Prescott were equally a step down from men like Callaghan, Healey and Benn who'd fought in the war, and even they were the B-team to Attlee and Churchill.

The other problems are economics and time. You've already got weaker raw material (political personalities), now you've got to satirise them on a shoestring budget, and you need to have the whole thing written, filmed, edited and on telly by next week because we want it to be topical and even on this timescale, by next week your satire is going to seem dated. Under these circumstances, is it surprising you get so many out-of-touch, received wisdom, this-isn't-very-funny takes on Trump, May and Corbyn from people in the same social circle?

>>84499
I think even apart from alternative news, it's partially the collapse of mass media. Even if you stick to a single news site, the non-linear way you can explore it means we could both come out of a visit to the BBC News site with a completely different impression of the world. Compare with television where you'd got 4 broadly similar channels and you had to pick one of them even if it meant sitting through a documentary about flower arranging.

>>84501
On Trump, I like the line a friend gave me from the Simpsons: The pie gag only works when the sap's got dignity!
The Clinton campaign shooting itself in the foot was quite funny, if you're a bit of a political wonk type of a certain persuasion, but Trump clowning around wasn't funny because he was just an undignified clown. He couldn't lower himself, and Bush had already lowered the office.

>>84505
>You've already got weaker raw material (political personalities), now you've got to satirise them on a shoestring budget, and you need to have the whole thing written, filmed, edited and on telly by next week because we want it to be topical and even on this timescale, by next week your satire is going to seem dated.

HIGNFY gave up long ago and is now largely "here's some things we hastily found on Twitter."

>>84505
> Even in 1997, The Times was calling Theresa May out on being a Robo-Politician. Blair, Brown and Prescott were equally a step down from men like Callaghan, Healey and Benn who'd fought in the war, and even they were the B-team to Attlee and Churchill.

Hear, hear.

She does look pretty off-kilter but maybe it's a bad photo. It is her Facebook profile pic however.

Newer photos:

>>16112

>>16112
Why does she look like she has a massive head in this one?

>>16110

>so probably wouldn't appeal to paedophiles

Speak for yourself m8

>>16093
Mornington Crescent

She isn't to face a retrial, so the papers can now reveal that she's a massive tart.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6288243/Past-revealed-teacher-Eleanor-Wilson-clear-claims-sex-pupil.html

Waheyyyy!

>>16114
If those are the most salacious photos they can dig up on her from Facebook she's practically a saint.

>>16115

So the Catholic church is now not only covering over the crimes of paedophiles but giving them sainthoods too?

>>16115
I have wanked to the picture twice but I agree. Its so tame that they are ohviously reaching and that makes it really obvious theres nothing to say.

>>40639

Knock yourself out, kidder.

thats u sorted

(A good day to you Sir!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ia3baO8qHQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehYU6p3aIZQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c7bISLhVl8

I imagine this has been posted before but I was reminded me of it today. Brings a chortle to my face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99HAe8PxFdA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHZcj4txc7c

I always thought they would make it big.

Well, it sounds spurious, but I hope she gets the cash. Being paralysed sounds crap.

>>16103
Why should the bed company have to pay for her clumsiness? Sure, nobody wants to be quadraspazzed mid coitus, but I'm not sure the bed maker's on the hook for anything other than 4cm of wood.

Although - Berkshire Bed Company Ltd - trading as Beds Are Uzzz
whyyyyyyy?

>>16104
>whyyyyyyy?

It's a common method of depicting sleep.

>>16105
Christ, I'm thick sometimes.

Well they've both got defective lumber lumbar, get it tee hee hee

>>421259

Last night I dreamed I was somewhere with my last real ex, of four or five years ago. Sitting on stairs I hugged her and whispered "I still love you". She whispered back "I know" then threw up watery vomit on my shoulder. Even though I initiated ending it, it doesn't seem to be getting any better or letting up at all. I can't find or build any attachment like that to anyone else in order to move on. This is just how I live now.

For the Susie Dent fans:

>>421262


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peLXmKePK-Q

>>27746
>elitism and snobbery

Welcome to britfa.gs m8

>>27749
I'd be inclined to agree with you but this gets more playtime than it deserves and it's even won an award. The lyrics are what especially piss me off, just droning on and on repeating the same phrase. I listen to the radio daily and whilst there's a lot of contemporary music I don't like, I wouldn't say it's the same level as this song.

>>27780

Repetition and simplicity are two major features of successful modern pop music. I'm not saying that means you have to suddenly like the song, but you shouldn't be so surprised it's a popular song.

The production on it is really good, it's about as gritty, sampled, and hip-hop as you can get away with making a chart hit sound, and as the lad was originally a rapper and cut his teeth in the High Focus stable, that shouldn't come as much of a shock. His unique (in mainstream music at least) voice probably caught some people's attention too.

The song gets on my tits now because, as you say, it's ridiculously overplayed. But I think I thought it was pretty catchy the first two or three times I heard it. Now after the 800th time, it can fuck right off.

Sage for not supporting your hatred entirely.

Reminds me of the Gnarls Barkley song. Fine in it's own right, nods to a genre beyond just "pop", subsequently played to death.

Isn't this thread about a year late?

But yeah he's bollocks, it's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

You can tell it's an intentional marketing construct by the fact his album had adverts on the telly. Telly adverts for an album. Just let your mind roll over that for a moment.

>>27783

>It's just one of those pop songs that comes out occasionally that's just fresh enough to properly blow every chart-listening cunt's head off. You know how normal wankers think a trip to Nandos is a bit of an adventurous treat? That's exactly what a fat tattooed bloke is to the pop market.

Very, very well put.