>>451581
I reckon you two would play with it for a couple days and then I'll be the one walking and cleaning up after it.

Got a new job as a lift attendant for a school, which had only two floors. Entered the lift, and a 20ish years old pretty blonde girl introduced herself as the school's rabbi. She says she hates her job so hides in the lift all day so I shouldn't spill her secret. I get off on the second floor and look out the window. Beautiful ocean surrounding the school. Go into one of the classes. Teacher talking about how Civ IV had a really good song. They search "Civ V opening theme". I say "just search Baba Yetu". She searches "Civ Colonisation theme". I once again say "the song you're thinking of is Baba Yetu by Christopher Tin". She searches "Civ VI Christopher Tin". I ran away and the dream ended.

>>451676

There's something quite likeable about her as the Fanny Godmother, giving out advice like some kind of menstrual Martin Lewis.

Also, why are all the other women incredibly skinny? Did they hire actors in their twenties to represent adolescents? Is there some kind of one-BBW-per-advert limit? Has Our Scarle been nicking everyone's dinners?

>>451680
Maybe she has it in her contract that she can be the only hefty lass in a scene.

>>31738
I get what you're saying, but there's a big gap between discussing a crush and smiling at your lass from a closet while she gets railed bareback by Pablo the barback. We've chatted about other people before albeit only from a physical perspective, kissed other people in front of each other, and discussed what we would feel comfortable with quite honestly.

I agree that there is a bit of cultishness around the progressivism in personal relationships, and I have no doubt the next generation will judge their predecessors for not being polyamorous by default, but that's simply not how most people are wired, and expecting them to be will just cause trouble.

It's definitely something I considered a while and tried to phrase delicately, and sharing it made it feel less significant in a way. Now she's almost just a random fit lass.

How realistic is it to blame your life circumstances on lacking one thing or another? It sounds self indulgent, right? If only I had thing, i could be happy, successful, or just plain 'better than this'. Happiness comes from within, but what about this Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Does avoiding sexual intimacy impact a persons ability to grow? Does that justify a life of minimal effort and care?

For years I've thought everything would be alright if I could just openly enjoy sex but I don't know if that's true anymore. I dare say the objects of my attraction would remain objects even if I could engage with them. It wouldn't change my heart - on the contrary it might corrupt it futher.

>>31741

I think problems can broadly be put into two categories. Things that you have the power to change, and things you don't. The difficulty lies in separating the two and understanding your relationship with them.

There are lots of things about your life that can and will affect your outcomes, things that are, in essence, "not your fault". Your social class, your race and gender, how encouraging your parents were, if you had good teachers in school or ones that didn't care, etc... I think it's just as healthy and important to recognise those things and take the burden of blame off yourself, as it is to regognise the things that are "your fault" and to pro-actively find solutions.

I notice a lot of people have an unhealthy attitude to life and their mental wellbeing as a result of veering too hard into one side or the other of that coin- My ex girlfriend for instance, was the classic Tumblr woke girl, so for her, everything in life was somebody else's fault. She had an excuse for everything, and retreated entirely into that mindset that she was always a victim, and there was nothing she could do about it, therefore she never did anything about it. It was as if she thought the very concept of self-improvement was inherently right wing propaganda.

By the same token if you go too far the other way, you're only going to end up disillusioned when your hard work doesn't pay off in some area of life, because some things are out of your control. Your boss will still snub you on that promotion for the arse-licker sycophant, you will stil get passed over on dating apps no matter how much you work out, people will still think you're less intelligent if you have a thick Northern accent, etc etc. A post a bit earlier on mentioned the cult of acceptance, the view that you can twist your brain like a contortionist into accepting whatever shitty circumstances affect your life and be at peace with them, but to me that's where the horseshoe meets in the middle for these two extremes.

I don't put a lot of stock in Mazlows heirarchy, because it's the heierarchy of Mazlow's needs, not your needs, or my needs.Beyond the very basics, I believe everyone's needs are different, and I don't think it's a heirarchy either. It's a balance of factors which you need to be in harmony. We're more like sims with little bars that all need to be at a comfortable level, and we get depressed when one or more of them runs low. Mazlow's heirarchy makes more sense when you're looking at society on a zoomed out macro level, not an individual person.

For instance sex is very important to me, and having a good sex life is a cornerstone of my self-esteem. Some clever cloggs fisherperson academic out there might tell me this is "toxic masculinity" and I should "work on myself" until I'm fine with being a sexless loser or a cuckold or whatever, but fuck that. Having good sex frequently makes me happy, and that's about as simple as I need it to be; it seems absurd to me to suggest that I should brainwash myself into not needing sex when it would be far simpler and more fulfilling to simply seek out a partner who will give me good, reliable sex. It's not up to anybody else to tell me if that's right or wrong, that's just how my individual psychology works.

Think about what your goals are, think about what you can do to get there, and make a plan. Be realistic about what obstacles you will face, and don't blame yourself if those obstacles cause you problems along the way.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

There's this chubby gal who desperately wants me to bang her but I'm not totally feeling it. She's okay looking and has a fun personality, but I have literally never fapped to a chubby chick in over 16 years of being a wanker.

Is there a way around this conundrum? Should I start fapping to porn with fat chicks to condition myself to this untapped vein of desperate and horny portly birds?

>>31743

Fill your boots m8.

>>/x/42587

here's a funny cat picture i found

I don't see why I, an embittered and miserable bachelor, am posting assistance to help the rest of you fucking pussy-patrollers get laid yet again. Perhaps I should only post bad images from now on.

>>70971

That's the thing lad, the worse they are the more birds like them. It's like dad jokes, but memes. Dad memes.

>>95884
>If the landlords hate it so much, why don't they just work more hours or get a better-paying job?
On a phone call with my letting agency, they told me that some rent arrears were negatively affecting my landlord and I asked them if the landlord had tried budgeting.

Also landlord related, Priti Patel rejected a recommendation from the Grenfell Tower inquiry that renters have what are called personal emergency evacuation plans, or PEEPs for short. They are exactly what their name suggests. As best as I can tell, translating from the governmentese, the "counterproductive" part of implementing these plans would be that landlords would have some responsibilities to their tenents. Patel also heaps blame on the fire service, without explicitly blaming them. Merely stating their need to learn lessons and so on, despite an official one-size-fits-all stay put policy dooming them to failure in the instance of another Grenfell-like event. Conservatives create unsafe housing regulation, cut fire and rescue services to the bone and then reject measures that might prevent the exact same situation from arising again in the future, before blaming the men and women who went into a pitch dark with smoke building trying to rescue people, despite the concerns of some that it could have collapsed around them such was the intensity of the incident. It's actually beyond sickening, it's disturbing. It's institutional callousness at the highest levels and I'm so frustrated that it's only freaks like me who are paying attention to any of it.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/may/21/grenfell-families-enraged-by-plan-to-keep-stay-put-policy

>>95886
I try not to pay too close attention to what she's doing because it's always something disgustingly cruel. She's so far beyond the pale.

>>95887
I understand entirely. However, it's important to remember that May or Javid would have been unlikely to have taken a different decision. The only difference is Patel's perma-smirk makes the passive villainy of Conservative inaction more transparent than ever.

>>95888
My previous statement could probably apply to the entire party.

>>451669

>As long as the bottle remains sealed, wine is safe to drink pretty much indefinitely.

I guess there's a difference between being enjoyable to drink and being toxic to the point of a health risk.

Wine ages, and a lot of the time, not in a good way. Most table wines you buy have a plastic cork, which means a lot of oxygen diffuses into the bottle over time and reacts with the wine and oxidises it. There are white wines that will go off within three or four years of bottling. Yes, you can still drink them after that, but the smell and taste of oxidation will not make it pleasurable. These are wines that are meant for somewhat immediate consumption. When my nan died, we found a bottle of white wine in the back of her livingroom cupboard, it was fifteen years old, and the smell and taste when we opened it was pretty rank. Granted, a livingroom cupboard is no place to store any wine for any length of time. Least of all in an upright position, which causes the cork to dry out and let even more oxygen in.

Red wine, on the other hand, contains plenty more antioxidants than white wine, especially tannins and phenols, and they protect the wine from oxidation, to the point that a well-stored red wine with a full natural cork can indeed last decades and in some cases centuries. Capping it with wax, like in the video, can also greatly increase a wine's lifespan.

A red wine of that age will have little in common with one you've just bought in the shop. I've never had one that was aged multiple years or decades, but they're said to taste quite profound and earthy, and much of the fruity notes will have been replaced by flavours that are more akin to a port or sherry.

>>451656
>I spent more than £300 on a pair of fitted suits today

Not that bad for a couple of suits. I paid that 10 years ago and they're still with me despite becoming a patchwork of repair stitches that I can no longer button up.

>>451671

So does it get you more pissed the older it is?

I got sucked down a rabbit hole a bit ago of watching people dry age steaks. Seems to have been a fad at one point. They always describe it as "funky" smelling, then cut off a little sliver and eat it raw. It always looks fucked to me, but none of them are dead, so who the fuck knows. Can I just crack open a thirty five year old tin of Spam I found at my nan's and it's a delicacy now?

Only adds credence to the idea of things going off being a myth made up by Big Fridge.

>>451678

>So does it get you more pissed the older it is?
No.

The past is a foreign country.

>>14992
Is Leeds Live a newspaper? Is that review likely to have been printed on actual paper? This would be the final insult to trees if so, to know your brethren were felled to accommodate a manchild's blog post about McDonald's.

(Obviously I am very sorry if the shite journalist in question happens to post here).

>>14993
A lot of local newspapers have fallen under the 'Live' umbrella, e.g. the Hull Daily Mail is Hull Live online, the Birmingham Mail is Birmingham Live online, the Stoke Sentinel is Stoke Live online, etc.

They're all owned by Reach, who also own The Mirror, Daily Star, Daily Express and OK Magazine, amongst others, which is why you'll constantly see stories regurgitated from one of the local papers they own into the nationals and vice versa.

Actually, looking into it, I think Leeds Live are completely separate and are just looking to piggyback off the Live branding.

McDonald's drive-thru in Leyland blocked by angry man who refused to wait for sausage and egg McMuffins

The stalemate began at around 9.30am shortly after the customer, Stuart Yates, 55, drove up to the restaurant on Churchill Way and requested the two breakfast meals.

He said: “A week ago I got made to wait in the car park for over 15 minutes. A lad spotted me and said ‘oh, it’s him again’, because last time I complained. They said go and wait in the car park… I said ‘I’m not going anywhere until I get my food’.”

The drive-thru lane has been closed and police have been called to the scene.

https://www.lep.co.uk/news/people/mcdonalds-drive-thru-in-leyland-blocked-by-angry-man-who-refused-to-wait-for-sausage-and-egg-mcmuffins-3704035

>>15145
"I want breakfast".

>>15146
After blocking the drive-thru for two hours and being moved on by the police he went home and ordered a couple of Big Macs through Uber Eats.

https://www.lep.co.uk/news/people/unhappy-mcdonalds-customer-moved-from-drive-thru-after-two-hour-hold-up-3704078

>>33200
I think DS4Win might have been the problem, yeah. I closed it at one point and it didn't have an effect, but preventing it from starting on start-up has stopped any silly business. I swear that programme was perfect two years ago, but it kept getting updates anyway.

You guys are so fucking petty it's unbelieveabe. Do you want people to use these boards or not?

>>33202
People, not Americans.

>>33202

No, go away.

I did a load of sniffing at the weekend and now my nostril is clogged, a bit sore and I'm incredibly tired. Quite parched as well.

If supermarkets weren't shut early on Sunday I'd have a chocolate éclair right now.

A thread died for this.

>>13162

Jamaican Patois can be pretty unintelligible at the best of times, and being sung by a German, it's not going to help much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcFmo_v81IU

>>13164

Reminds me of


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkqDK-i-smM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd3wLR_UUeo


The percussion was later recycled for Spiller's Groove Jet (probably around 5:47).



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npJTeRjRX-8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EKspREtVZQ



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGNK-cOtxSs

>>13155

I guess it's also to do with the kind of music they're making. Most bands evolve and age with their fans. While Scooter have spent the last 28 years since Hyper Hyper making Eurotrash dance music for deliriously drunk 18 year olds. I mean seriously, if you're in the kind of age group that was young in the 90s, would you still go to one of their concerts today? Take That have their market segment cornered catering to middle-aged mums with fond memories of their own youth these days. But remembering those times you woke up drunk on the beach in Magaluf with vomit stains on your shirt after partying to Scooter probably doesn't have the same appeal.

>>13156
Scooter have evolved. They used to be good. But for the past 15 years or so, they really haven't been.

>>13157

>They used to be good.

Bit of a strong word there.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAiHEQblKeQ

This song was fucking. everywhere. all. the. time in mid-1997. We were on holiday in Alicante and every two-bit beach bar was playing it five times a day. Children in the street were singing it and clapping to it.

>>13158
I still hear Samba de Janeiro every so often even now. It's a classic. Meanwhile, BBC2 had a documentary on the music of 1998 earlier, and it briefly played a clip of this song, which was also everywhere for years afterwards but which I had since completely forgotten about.

I don't know why it's been scrubbed from history; it's just as good as Samba de Janeiro and it's almost the same song. Perhaps it was written by paedophiles. Although, according to the comments on that video and confirmed by Wikipedia, Would You..? was actually written by the same man who wrote the BBC News theme tune. Mad if true.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Lowe_(television_and_radio_composer)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZXRV4MezEw

>>43033
Sauce please?

>>43034
Found under the unapealing title of "TianasTummy".

>>70959
>A 20FT TALL ALIEN CENTIPEDE THING
It was a bunch of normal-sized cockroaches if I remember correctly, rather than one specific alien. On an unrelated note, large groups of insects are probably very good at counting, and they're honestly probably quite good at maths in general.

>>70963

I'd sprinkle my vinegar on her tripe iykwim.

>>70961
How else would you do it? Magic seams at the back are only a thing in 3D porn comics found on t'internet.

>>70964
Nah it was definitely one big bad bug, but he did have shitlods of roaches inside his sleeves for some reason. Maybe he was bug jesus and they were his flock.

>>70967
Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be a female bug? A queen?

Build Back Better hehe

Enjoy your WEF puppet

Ozzie Macron

God I wish we had AV over here. I don't know much about Aussie politics but by the sounds of what I heard on the radio, it at least makes elections a lot more interesting. None of this endless hung parliament gerrymandering shite like we get over here.

>>95876
One thing I have found out, and like, about Aussie politics during my passing interest with this election is that they have a ban on politicians employing spouses and relatives. It never occured to me you could just stop it like that. I'd never have to hear about £60,000 a year of public money being laundered through some oafish MP's missus.

>>95877

What I find, being from Yorkshire, real Aussies will speak their mind. Call you a cunt until you put in the yakka. Metro Melbos fucked it.

>>95876
ABC coverage was available to stream on YouTube. You'll see the legend that is Antony Green talking through the numbers from time to time. He's like John Curtice but less academic and more techy.

A couple of years ago I met him and he described how it all works. The AEC decides in advance who the top two candidates are going to be. Ballots are counted at polling station, and they initially report the first preference totals and the two-candidate preference totals. If it turns out they guessed wrong or there's a closer run for second place than expected, then they stop reporting 2CP and just report out the full count, which takes longer as they need to wait for all the stations to count each round individually. They were waiting days for a result in 2016 because the AEC got a lot of their 2CP calls wrong, and so both sides were stuck in the 60s with a dozen full counts to do.

Green's evaluation of the UK going to AV was that we would need to be prepared to give up election night if we insisted on bringing all the ballot papers to count centres and only putting out numbers when complete rounds of counting were completed. He's able to make projections after a few hours only because numbers are available for individual locations.

Lost a few days, probably going to lose a few more. My spellimg is faltering, so I give up.

>>8549
You and me both (am I talking to myself). Easter was a loss, went down Friday, cam up Tuesday, barely in time for work. Should not have bothered. Should just have died.

>>8550
I managed to verify that I'm talking to myself.

I have spells of sobriety. They last 1 or two days, then I fall into the abyss. Work is accomodating for now, but I doubt thery'll put up with it much longer.

I've been drinking for 25 years now. I gained a lot in cameradery, but sometimes I still wish I'd never touched that first drop.

Because it opened the doors. I smoked weed for a while, then started growing my own weed and vaped it, I've taken DPH and DXM. All those, but it's only alcohol that has me coming back. I wish I could be the fun drunk in a pub.

>>8551

How much does the habit cost you, out of curiosity?

>>8552
Right now about £10/day by drinking 9% cheap beer (Karpackie). I've sort of graduated from Debowe and Perla (both around 7%). Fortunately, there's an Aldi near by that has 0.7l of 37.5% "Tamova" vodka for around £11. So £300 per month, depending on how bad it gets. As addictions go, I suppose that's relatively cheap and affordable and I don't think I'll escalate much further.

>>38467

Go away mate. You haven't uncovered The Truth, you've just concocted your own reality to make yourself feel clever. I assume that the mods are all out on the lash, because you've been getting away with murder over the last couple of hours.

>>38467

>>38468

I'm not surprised that being a fingerman you deserve being pointed at, scorned, and deservedly a comeuppance with clenched fingers.

>>38466
Does he have incredibly pointy fingernails, or is that her hand? It looks horrifying either way. If I was the original wife, I would leave just to avoid getting my eyes sliced open like Un Chien Andalou.

>>38467>>38470
I'm not sure what relevance the ugly Hitchens brother has to do with this. Given his opinions on the western interventions that took place before his death, I doubt he'd oppose the current stance NATO and pals have taken.

>>451649

>another man who doesn't really believe women have to deal with even half the shit they complain about

No, you're still missing the point. I absolutely believe her. I just don't think it's a big deal.

If you'd ever been in a relationship with one, you'd be well aware half the shit they complain about is bollocks.

>>451651

>you'd be well aware half the shit they complain about is bollocks.

Maybe your testicles are just subpar then.

>>451650
>women really do absolutely feel like their life is in danger whenever they see a willy they weren't expecting

So do guys when they see a knife they weren't expecting. More men die from knife violence than women from rape. I'm not counting numbers here.

>>451665
Go and threaten someone with a knife then, if it's the same. See if you get in more trouble, less trouble, or the same amount of trouble.

Even Arr Greenandpleasant is making jokes along the lines of "I wish he'd shown me instead, I could do with $250k".

When even Rudgwick turbo-lefties are making light of it, I think it's probably worth picking another issue to show off how much of a woman respecter you are.

Use a VPN and Tor so you don't get done by the Malicious Communications Act if someone has a teary.

Buy the dip, stick a few grand on Twitter Inc. It's flatlining due to Elon weeding out the socialist workforce, no drive that milk the advertising revenue and push bots. Once Elon acquires and develops the platform through ecommerce (open market - free speech = advanced society), Twitter will no longer be held to ransom by corporatists.

>>451661
You appear to be confused. OP asked for advice about doing something retarded, not advice from someone who is retarded.

I enjoy sending @beefybotham a picture of his own cock.

>>451662

I don't think how you know how spergs think.

Some drag queens can look pretty hot (no homo)

>>42942
See, I prefer a nice crossdresser to a trans. Drag has become passé and probably the wrong word but I'd rather fuck dominate a bloke in a crude wig and dress than the alternative. If Rome wouldn't call it homo then it's no homo.

I'd post another example but 99% of them are 40 year old blokes.

>>42943
In antiquity you would be considered more of a poof for licking a minge than fucking a man.

I prefer crossdressers to bonafide trannies as well. Gender bending is hotter when they don't cheat with drugs or surgeries and can blur the lines between gender instead of fully hopping across.

Just want a bubbly blind gf. Real like Katawa Shoujo.

>>43031

Stop watching anime, wash your knob and volunteer at your local RNIB.

https://www.rnib.org.uk/volunteering/find-volunteering-opportunities-near-you/search

>>8687

IF CAN'T WE DO BIG BLACK LIPS WE CAN'T DRAW A FAT DICTATOR

Andy Murray's found a novel way to broadcast a dick pic to the world.

Another slam for the former titty monster.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/61401519

>Wimbledon: ATP & WTA strip ranking points from Grand Slam over ban for Russians and Belarusians

>Players will not receive ranking points at Wimbledon following the decision to ban Russian and Belarusian competitors from the tournament.
>Players from the countries have been banned by the All England Lawn Tennis Club from all UK grass-court events after the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

>"The stance we are taking is about protecting the equal opportunities that WTA players should have to compete as individuals," added the WTA, the women's governing body.
>"If we do not take this stance, then we abandon our fundamental principle and allow the WTA to become an example to support discrimination based on nationality at other events and in other regions around the world."

And my personal favourite highlight:
>The ATP decision means Serbia's Novak Djokovic - the defending men's champion - will lose his status as the world number one.
>Djokovic, a six-time champion at the All England Club, will be unable to retain the 2,000 ranking points he earned by winning the title last year and is only 680 ahead of nearest rival Daniil Medvedev.
Daniil Medvedev is Russian. Oops!

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>9861

Alternative compromise: Russian players can still compete, but every available surface of the players and court is emblazoned with the words "Vladimir Putin is a homosexual" in Russian.

>>15139

That's half the protein and 50% more expensive than the Peak Supps one.

The first Heck veggie sausages I've had that aren't utter shite.

>>15141
They've done a good job at making them look like literal utter shite though.

>>15142

Eat less spinach.

>>15142
There's definitely worse out there. I can't even remember which brand they were but a while back I fried red ones that looked like I was cooking a pan full of used tampons.