Did you mean to post in the guilty would thread?

>>26949
I found a chinese that are consistent, but they are cash only so I always have to collect it and I've drove pissed to get cash and collect it before rather than order from Just Eat.

Even if they're good, there is always a catch.

Apparently it's a thing where a couple expecting a baby invite friends and family round and they pop a balloon with either blue or pink confetti inside to let everyone know whether it's a boy or girl.

>>26954
Yeah, that's a 'gender reveal party'. Pretty embarassing stuff, and also something I hope will go away as quickly as I became aware of them, thanks to the post-gender social justice movement taking the piss out of them.

>>26954

It's funny how I seem to live on a different planet to the human race I keep reading about on the internet. These hypothetical people have "baby showers" and babysit for one another.

In my circle of friends, when somebody announces they're expecting a kid, we stop inviting them out and never visit them again, so that they may not remind us of our increasingly unacceptable late 20s adolescence.

>>26955

That sounds like being glad that you have a brain tumour because it will distract you from worrying about your broken leg.

>>417676
>Might as well get Private Eye too when you're there.

I'm the lad who had a Private Eye subscription but let it lapse because they were printing them faster than I was reading them.

>>417674
I thought the drunk bakers were supposed to be worth the subs alone?

>>417676

Between Viz and Private Eye that was basically my printed reading material for years.

>>417678

All I have to do is try to bake a cake then look in the mirror.

>>417678

The author of Drunken Bakers has just written a book, if anyone's interested:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1903110548

>>417680

It pisses me off no end when a newly published book has no Kindle option, or (presumably) any digital download option at all. For all the love I have for paper books I simply can't be doing with lugging several hundred kilos of dead trees around with me; the really rare books - the rare first editions, the signed, the single editions, are all looked after safely but if I'm forced into buying an actual printed book then I usually find myself giving it to a charity shop the next time I move on and then pining for the fucker some time later.

Sage for any nothing of any consequence at all.

>>416839

I'm by no stretch of the imagination more than a 1.5 on the Kinsey scale Ok maybe a 2 on really good MDMA. but have been obsessed with Polari for years. I watched a good documentary about a radio comedy called "Julian and Sandy" which caused quite the furore in certain circles at the time.

>>416951

I enjoyed your second dream, made me chuckle.

Just woke up from a dream where the missus and I apparently had two kids, one was about four and the other seven. We'd just moved into a new house and we were all mucking about in the way that young families do. I felt indescribably happy and I honestly think I woke up because my conscious mind thought I had died or something. I'm feeling very odd about the whole thing, considering neither I nor the missus want kids at all. I've never felt so strongly in a dream though, or possibly in real life even. I'm rather shaken.

Maybe my biological clock has finally started ticking. Urgh.

Peggy Mitchell was having a conversation with Rita from Coronation Street, bemoaning the death of the high street and how people shop differently these days. Peggy told Rita she could close her shop early that day.

I'd been busy rimming my friend's mum in her living room after I propositioned her during a lift home, but I spoiled it when I anally fisted her as she got really mad that it would make all of her organs fall out. I then went to do a shift in a restaurant and everyone was about to leave because Peggy Mitchell told them they should close early so I had to remind them that we had a table booked for later. I then had to be a waiter to one person in an otherwise dead restaurant.

>>417670
I really enjoy the level of depravity that your subconscious mind ventured off to. Are you Clive?

>>417620
> I reckon most apps will ask for your Facebook login as it's a quick way to populate your profile with pictures and interests

There are still some apps (Happn for example) that still rely entirely on Facebook as their method of ID/auth, although I think that this will change if the Facebook exodus continues.

Regardless, as pointed out by another lad, asking for a phone number is a much more reliable method of ensuring your identity in any case.

My town's Gala day is today and I haven't heard a single flute band, Scotland is changing.

I'll miss the famine song being unashamedly blasted from the hall at the end of my street at 8am, I will, honest, but it's probably for the best.

Weekend of stress, waiting for a tenancy application to be approved, so the bank holiday means an extra day of waiting.

>>417656
I just had a shitty experience with an application too.
Turns out the agency has a policy of taking multiple applications before choosing a tenant. It started with a phonecall after I viewed the property saying "we've just took another application so get here quick". I should have just said no at that point but I really wanted this house. Next I had to sign waivers giving them permission to give my details to virgin media, and to a company that would act as a middle-man signing me up to the utilities when I moved in. Again I should really have said no. Then I was told that my application was successful but I had to move in on the 31st or earlier (2 weeks away at that point.) So I drew the line there and said 2nd week of June or never. So they gave the tenancy to someone else instead.

Fucking dog downstairs was howling again the whole evening. That dog is a real nuisance. My neighbours downstairs in the flat, an early middle aged couple, both work shifts at the nearby factory here. So when they work late shift, that dog doesn't know what to do with itself and just howls at the door from the inside all evening, which then travels up the entire stairwell in the building.

I'm not aware that they work weekends also, so I guess tonight they just went somewhere without the dog.

That dog kind of strikes me as a bit thick everytime I run into my neighbours. I don't know, it just seems like it's not really "with it". Maybe there is such a thing as retarded dogs. My uncle's German Shepherd was one of the smartest animals I've ever known, but this dog (a poodle) somehow just comes off a little dim. Hard to really give you examples... it just does.

>>26495
Are other consumer routers similarly vulnerable? Is there a router that isn't leaky like a sieve?

>>26496
> Are other consumer routers similarly vulnerable?
Yes. Both home/small business and corporate.

>Is there a router that isn't leaky like a sieve?
For home or small business use you want OpenBSD with PF and a copy of https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-PF-No-Nonsense-OpenBSD-Firewall/dp/1593275897/ or something very much like it.

Most corporate risk analyses assume that the network is compromised and work on segregating data, incident response, and "need to know" policies. In other words I wouldn't trust a Cisco more than a Juniper more than I would MS Word 2007 - they're all heaps of shit to begin with before we even start talking about bugdoors.

>>26498
> For home or small business use you want OpenBSD

Running on what? Look for something small, fanless and entirely libre and OpenBSD compatible and options quickly shrink.

>>26569

Can't you just throw OpenBSD on a rpi and be done with it? What do you need "libre" anything for? Everything you want in a routing / firewalling setup comes pretty much out of the box.

Of course if OpenBSD never got around to doing an ARM port just ignore my ignorance and try buggering around with iptables on a locked down Linux instead.

You can get loads of PFsense boxes on ebay.

>>26694

Can you be trusted about tying your own shoelaces when you cannot understand what an example is?

>>26695

You keep posting shitty meme pictures though, so I'm pretty sure it was your fault that the relationship ended. People who like normie memes are doomed to die alone, that's a God damn fact.

>>26696

If my experience on POF and Tinder has taught me anything, "normie memes" are the lifehack for getting into millennial girl's pants. One minute you're sending them doggos and the next minute they want to sit on your face.

>>26696
>>26698
I just searched "normie memes" and Google synonymised it with "harambe".

>>26698

This made me laugh far more than it should.

>>8311
You say you only know what your own team is up to, and then you go on to say you know what a load of other teams are up to. I think you're being disingenuous. I know what 'supporting a football team' and it isn't what I'm talking about.

>>8312

I never said I only know what my team is up to, I said I only care about what my team is up to.

>>8309
Nope. I shitpost on the Grauniad, but rarely on the football pages.

>>8303
If you want to know why people don't like Ronaldo then watch his reaction to Bale's second goal. He's visibly annoyed the ball didn't rebound out so he could tap it in and that Bale would be the one grabbing all the headlines.

>>8311

People who are very severely depressed tend not to kill themselves, because they just don't have the energy. The most dangerous time is when they've just started to recover. They still feel that life isn't worth living, but now they've got the will to actually do something about it.

That's what being a Sunderland supporter is like. I can take the despair - it's the hope I can't stand.

Stewart Donald had better not fuck it up.

>>60729

This is one of my workplace gripes, people will spend all day dicking around having pointless conversations whilst you sit working but god forbid you leave 20 minutes early (20 minutes you made up for whilst they were fucking about with the coffee machine and talking about where they're taking their kids for the weekend) and you get 'HURRR HALF DAY IS IT??'

>>60731
Contributing to making a workplace pleasant if not enjoyable for your coworkers is 10% of any job.

>>60732

The false assumption there is that standing around gabbing makes the office a more pleasant place for everyone. Or that socialising is always a positive thing (gossiping and bitching are also social activities).

Poster >>60731 is bang on the money, people can coast once they've become a part of the social fabric of a workplace, regardless of whether their influence is positive, benign, or utterly toxic.

>>60732

I completely agree and am not 100% innocent of it myself, but there's a difference between a casual laugh and taking an interest and the people who spend 5 hours pressing their coffee or waiting for somebody to make a mistake so they can gossip.

It's doubly (is doubly a word? I'll take the risk) annoying when they then seem annoyed that you don't stay until half 5.

I only drink water and it takes me about 20 seconds to fill my flask 4-5 times a day, yet people going for a tea break take about 5 minutes, that's like 25 mins of time there alone.

I'm not bothered, I'm not one of these people that tracks everybody coming and going and gets incensed about it because I don't really care, but I do care when people seem mad that i leave early despite me getting there 30 mins before them and not spending half of my time messing about.

Whilst we're at it, people who seem to think every meeting needs a meeting about a meeting about a meeting about a meeting. Not everything needs a meeting and some people enjoy sitting in meetings just talking inane points of contention that don't actually matter, but somehow suck everybody in like a bad troll in a good thread here.

>>60734

We've got a full thread wherein your specific woes have been outlined three or four times already.

I work for the NHS (non-clinical) so time wasting is seen as something of a perk of the job. Everyone mutually turns a blind eye to everyone else's utter disregard for the concept of time keeping, but you always get that one bad egg who thinks they do more work than everyone else and know the job better than anyone else and never shuts the fuck up about it, when in reality we'd all be better off without them.

I think this sort of thing is universal, except possibly in germany.

>>15491

*per half

>>15491
The objectives are at each end of the pitch, not at the sides.

>>15493

Right, but it's still ground to cover, and you were the one who brought up the the size of the pitch to suggest that football players aren't fit.

>>15494
No they play the match with the ground covers off.

>>15495
Okay.

>>417638
I'm very happy to hear you've been experiencing a confidence boost but really mate, do not shag anyone you plan to still be working with 6 months down the line. Don't shit where you eat and all that.

I want to set fire to a van and smash someone in the face with a brick every time I leave the house. I'm such a prick.

>>417638
>The girl at work can't keep fighting off dinner invites from other people too, which makes me all the more flattered when she joins me to listen to me talk shit.

There's a reason she's letting you know all about the other lads interested in her. She wants you in her clopper.

Fuck. I just spent almost ten minutes putting 500 cotton swabs neatly back in their box which I dropped on the bathroom floor. I was going to just throw them back in the box indiscriminately, but this being a brand new box, they just didn't fit in it that way. Instead, I had to replace them neatly, a few at a time. Fucking annoying.

I had the strangest drunk experience last night. I had about 6 pints, alone, which is usually enough to make me a bit of a state, but I didn't even feel physically drunk.

Just absolute, crushing despair; past the point of crying even, just grim acceptance that whatever happens, I'll still be me and I can't escape that. I don't know what happened but I usually drink to escape those thoughts, not amplify them to deafening levels.

Ah well, I'll be drinking all day at a event tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Cineworld has changed their partner restaurants for Unlimited subscribers, so now I can't get 25% off F&B and Pizza Hut any more and they're changing it to 6 restaurants that don't exist in my town. However, Nandos apparently honour it despite not being officially affiliated so I'll probably start eating there and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

>>12534

Nandos is certainly a lot better than Frankie and Benny's.

Haven't ever had Pizza Hut so I can't comment on that, but even a shite pizza is pretty good so perhaps that's a shame.

>>12535
Pizza Hut have a free salad bar, so you can fill up on salad and ask for your pizza to be boxed up. Two meals for the price of one.

>>12535
Pizza Hut has an obnoxious menu, but the free salad bar and the topping selections makes up for it. The Vegi Hot One with chicken is a cracking pizza.

F&B wont be to much of a loss, I suppose. I'll give Nandos a try.

>>12537

As grim as Nandos is as a venue, there's really nothing wrong with chicken and rice, it's a solid meal for sure.

>>8103

Well, I'm on my way to a month without drinking and so far so good. If I manage to make it to two months it'll be the longest I've gone without a drink since 2004. If I make it to six maybe I'll even have the guts to go and get my liver tests and other biomarkers redone.

It's been two Thursdays in a row that my sponsor hasn't turned up to AA, and she hasn't made any contact. I don't know at what point the line revolves and it becomes my moral (even if not pastoral) duty to turn around and contact her, although my guts say about a month of AWOL.

>>8105
> Is there any reason you can't change AA sponsor for someone a bit more reliable? Maybe a decent older bloke [...] If there's anyone like that in your AA group, maybe go for them. I feel like they'd be a bit more relatable and dependable for someone in your situation.

I have no real idea what the protocol is, to be honest. I'm finding the whole AA thing a bit odd, to be honest. There are people there who've been sober for twenty five years but still turn up every single day after all that time. I don't know if their inner demons are that strong that they have to keep coming back to remind themselves of where they were, to see the newcomers shaking and sweating and be reminded to never go back back, or if their drive and zeal to help others is that strong that they feel a need to show up and open the doors even when no one comes like the fucking priest in Eleanor Rigby, or if they simply can't think of anything better to do of an evening.

I'm keeping my own head down as much as possible, turning up once or twice a week; I don't want this to become a replacement for the life I lived before my last, near fatal, bout of hardcore drinking and drugging - I just want to be healthy enough to go back to how I was living before I slipped and fell down that particular sinkhole, and that involves a whole lot of activities beyond AA.

Maybe I get a new sponsor or maybe I don't, either way there are people I can call. Maybe I can get more numbers for if things get grim. But for right now I'm just happy to be waking up in the mornings and my first impulse not being to grab the box of pills and the bottle wine and blow myself back into the fucking void for another six or eight or twelve hours.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>8115

>or if they simply can't think of anything better to do of an evening.

I suspect it's a lot to do with replacing one ritual with another.

>>8116

I fear you may be right. Perhaps some of these people have been using alcohol so intensely for so long that any pre-alcoholic life seems like a dream or a fuzzy memory of some kind.

With nothing from the past they can, or perhaps want to, go back to then maybe sitting drinking coffee with other lost souls trumps sitting in a shitty run down pub drinking beer with other lost souls and all the associated problems that come with that, the same ones that always lead us back to where we began and begin again.

>>8117

It might be a bit more positive than that, like the way a lot of ex-smokers like to preach after they've quit. They know how much better they feel so have a compulsion to make other people understand too. I know it's not quite the same, but when I lost loads of weight in my early twenties I really felt the need to tell others how to do it too, and I can't quite say why other than I wanted other people to feel better and improve their lives like I did. That's waned over the years though, so maybe it's different.

>>8115
However you're achieving it, that still sounds you're on a good trajectory. Maybe if you feel well enough, you could ring your sponsor next Thursday to find out where she is. I'm not sure if the sponsor-sponsee relationship is at all like one with a therapist, but in therapy you're meant to do the work together rather than the therapist doing it for you. It's meant to be a two-way process, if that makes sense. Might well be that she could do with hearing from you too.

Of course, if she's gone entirely off the deep end don't use that as an excuse to follow her. You've been doing really well.

>>26563
You say what they are doing "works every time", and you've illustrated it with an image suggesting they are 'shooting themselves in the foot'.

Well which is it?

Very happy we are finally here with it.

I've managed to get a handful of GDPR emails from sites I've never used, so now I can see where people have used my details or which idiots don't know their own email addresses.

>>26566

There's an american bloke who has the same name as me, and it seems his email must have an underscore or a dot in it somewhere but is otherwise identical to mine, so I keep getting emails about the warranty expiring on his Buick and the occasional forward from his family when people type it wrong.

>>26567
I think it is gmail which ignores the dots - have seen the same.

Interesting that they say he was "the first time we spoke to someone who is not an idiot".

Boris must be the only politician who comports himself in private better than he does in public.

>>60720
It is a shocking lapse in security.

Quite interesting, yeah, but how much can you make of a sexually abused girl as basis for a series of comics?

Reading these things one after the other it just becomes a bit grim; I don't really see what the author is trying to acheive.

>>2591
It isn't an actual series though, it's just a small part of Deep Fried.

>>2203
reddit.com/r/SadComics

Well now I feel sad.

>>2584
Never trust a soft toy.

>>26675

>My overall impression is that as long as you are alive and breathing unaided, the NHS regards you as "healthy enough". Correct me if I am wrong.

To a certain extent you are correct, but you have to understand that there are a lot of, for lack of a better word, time wasters clogging up the service's resources. This unspoken rule has developed in order to filter some of that out.

Having said that though, this doctor sounds like a dickhead. I know we would like to think doctors are all hard working and compassionate, but with GPs especially, I would never rule that possibility out. Have you had a second opinion?

>>26680

I tried with two different GPs and they told me the same thing. I think it's a matter of protocols and procedures rather than dickheadness. Probably NHS resources are stretched so thin that there is no way to handle anything except absolute emergencies or situations that can be addressed with little investment.

By the way, AFAIK getting mental healthcare is more difficult than winning the Eurolottery. I live in a city that cannot even care for paranoid schizos with histories of violence:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10358251/Truth-about-dangerous-mental-patients-let-out-to-kill.html

>>26685
I'll throw in my anecdotal evidence that no one cares about:

A few years ago I had a cyst on my neck that had been growing for years, it got to the point where it was causing me pain, got infected and started leaking pus, and forced me to get a prescription for antibiotics. I got referred to a consultant surgeon, who with a dead-pan delivery, told me that it was "cosmetic". I then asked about going private, and he straight away said "yes I've got an appointment free next week."

>>26685

If you're referred for non-urgent consultant-led treatment, there's a waiting target of 18 weeks. If your NHS trust fails to treat at least 92% of patients within that time, they're subject to fines. That quickly turns into a vicious cycle - missed targets, less money, lack of resources, missed targets, less money. In that regime, there's a strong incentive to refuse referrals just to keep people off the waiting list.

>>26686

How much did you had to pay, if you don't mind me asking?

Manchester because I've seen fuck all about Lee Rigby until this post.

>>60715
You clearly don't associate in the right circles.

I don't know how to quantify how many ordinary lives one soldier is worth. If it was how many footballers lives a soldier was worth I'd have no problems working it out.

it's not the 7th yet, what's this about

>>60717
You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.

>>60717
Are we nearly there yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-btFjK-zUao

My music taste complete changes during exam period. I don't like jungle normally.

The guy behind Ratboy Genius is great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcTQyvuzH8U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-KlLriSLRs

>>417623

I'd choose the latter too, if I could only get a shag.

>>417624

Oh, yeah... shit.

>>417622

>or shagging your way to money

How does the saying go... you can get a person out of a council estate, but you will never get the council estate out of that person. Or something.

The Americans call it "white trash with cash".

>>416958
Fuck is that man

>>417627

her makeup certainly borders on that of a drag queen.