>>64691
You didn't get the joke, poor thing.

>>64695
Didn't send it by Hermes by any chance, did you?

>>64696
True Hueligans know they use DPD for deliveries.

>>64697
I see you, playa.

>>64699
PURPHUEL/WHOEVER, WE NEED PROPER JPEG/EXIF SUPPORT FOR THE THUMBNAILER.

Put the new budget to work.

>>23221

It's been mainsteam since forever / The Internet Was Never Good.

The internet hasn't made the world worse, it has just made the world transparent. There have always been approximately the same number of arseholes and idiots, but now they have unfettered access to a global audience. As any teacher or nightclub bouncer knows, it only takes a few idiots to spoil things for everyone else.

The only cure is a return to elitism and snobbishness. This place is only halfway tolerable because it has a small user base and trigger-happy mods who will happily ban people simply for being thick or lazy. Social media has an open door policy, but we need more online communities that are run like a gentlemen's club, with membership criteria and strict rules of decorum.

>>23223
> we need more online communities that are run like a gentlemen's club, with membership criteria and strict rules of decorum

We have them, they're called fucking subreddits.

>>23219
Now that the site has Huel money (shoutout to Bill Burr), you'd expect that the staff writers could rustle up better threads than this.

>>23223

The problem is the ease of access. Make internet dialup again and the number of twitter contributors typing "<politician> is bad because <popular comedian joke> LOL" goes down tenfold. Mass anything is bad, the internet is just the worst example of it.

>>29232

Doncaster.

>>29230
Look, I get it. I get the anus is sensitive, and I get that the rectum can be tighter than a fanny, and I get that stimulating the prostate is pleasurable (apparently). But it's still the HOLE WHERE SHIT COMES OUT. How do people get past that? Or god forbid actually have coprophilia.

>>29232

Fetlife, 12-step groups, psychiatric outpatient services.

>>29235

Just wash your bum m8. Have you seen/smelled/tasted some of the disgusting effluent that comes out of fannies?

>>29235

Oh mate. Get the soap out, get in the shower, go to fucking town with your fingers. Enema with soapy water for good measure beforehand, but then yeah just clean that fucker out several times over. It's not like shit is secreted from the pores of your sphincter.

Then when she sits on your face it's like you can lick anything, it's fantastic. Wouldn't do ass to mouth, but just the outside and an inch or so inside? Yeah, sign me up.

And look for fetish communities or get lucky. Somehow every girl I've dated has been bloody kinky, possibly because I'm fucking weird and anyone willing to sign up has underlying issues. So yeah, try being a bizarre cunt too.

Be warned, don't expect hookups unless you're super fucking fit and charming, and even then the girls on there who want to hook up are usually pretty uninspiring. Think of it as a new group of friends who you may well end up getting intimate with.

>>29235

Most vaginal discharge is pretty fucking minging when you think about it, but I doubt that stops you. And you can't enema all the mucus out of a fanny.

>>20884
>So if there's no one there to press the button a second time, when it's flashing or making a unique beep, then the lights won't change.
So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?

>>20885

>So you're saying that we should keep the signals indicating that you should cross now, including the beeping for blind people, but just don't stop the cars?

Is that what I said? Fuck. I meant a different toned beep so blind people don't just walk in the road. The lights wouldn't change, neither traffic nor pedestrian, unless there's someone still waiting to cross after the initial press, since there's generally a delay.

>>20885

I get what he's saying, after the first press, at the time the lights would have changed instead a calming woman voice would say "Are you still here? Press again to confirm" and if it was pressed again the lights would change. It's a perfect system.

From the perspective of a motorist, though, watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.

As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.

>>20887

Thanks for being my wordsmith mate.

>watching the lights change as a direct reaction to some cunt stood there pressing the button would probably annoy me far more than them changing themselves while unoccupied by pedestrians.

Fuck, really? I've not driven in 10 years so I don't really know, I assumed it'd be more annoying to have them arbitrarily stop you with nary a punter in sight.

>As I type this though, I realise that I'm pretty sure many crossings already have pedestrian sensing cameras on them, so I'd be pretty fucking surprised if they didn't already simply not change if the crossing no longer has people stood at it.

Good point, though presumably this isn't super widespread, but still somewhat prevalent. Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess? Seems like something that could produce false positives depending on the method, do you know if that system is widespread?

>>20888

>Do you know that they would prevent a change occurring if detecting no pedestrian at the lights, or is that a guess?

It's just a guess, possibly based on fuzzy memories of observing them, but I feel like I haven't been stuck waiting at an empty crossing in a good long while.

Couldn't really tell you an more, but I notice just about every crossing in my particular town has camera/sensor things pointed at the pedestrians.

Bit of a weird one last night. I was a contestant on I'm a Celeb, and the other contestants kept asking me why I was part of the show, and told me they had never heard of me.

I dreamt that I was thinking of things to purchase with a gift card and then I went for a walk around Doncaster admiring all the Georgian architecture that I think my brain completely fabricated.

Thanks, lads.

I was standing at the sinks in a hotel, which were in a room adjacent to their public toilets. A man came in with his two sons and I told them to avoid the shit someone had left protruding upwards on the floor; the eldest son, in his late teens, almost stood in it. I then made small talk with them, something about getting the receptionist to bring a jug of drinking water. The man then started berating his kids for blowing a sales opportunity. It turned out he was a children's author and he had a number of his books strapped to his body underneath his jacket; they looked like very simplistic Biff, Chip & Kipper books but with a massive review on the front claiming the author was better than Roald Dahl. The text underneath was so small that I couldn't see who that quote was attributed to. Then I works up.

Last night I had a dream that I was driving down a motorway and got to a city whose name I somehow couldn't make out on the signs, and then I was in the city centre, and it quite comically had a dual carriageway bridge running right across its town square where all the quaint little shops were. I told some of the locals that it looked peculiar, but they just said, "Oh, don't mind that, it's just what we're known for here". I then started wandering around the city, and then when I eventually wanted to get back to my car, I realised that I had no clue what the name of the street was where I had parked it, so I then kept asking people if they'd seen my car by any chance.

I was in some sort of shakespearian/dickensian village, watching the Cratchit familys joy at inheriting a whole load of money.

The best part was while i was hiding in someones castle, watching a group of people conspire against Nancy, when one of the members began placing gigantic wheels of cheese on top of the wardrobe where i was hiding. I ran when they saw me, shouting "you enjoyed it, well i cum in it!" This absolutely hillarious joke woke me up in a fit of laugher.

Something about a big sweaty, moulding cheese ripe for a dicking.

Bumping to star in the unlikely case there's anyone left that fancies idling an empty Discord joining.

>>23215
Part of me wants to but every other part of me is saying it'll just be a shitshow.

>>23216
Well give it a go. If we're cunts you can just leave, ya know?

>>23215
Well it's only been five days since I took you up on your offer, but I have to say, absolutely sound group of lads. And since it's Discord apparently you can all sit in a voice channel with muted mics and listen to tunes played by a bot. Modern technology, eh?

RIP IRC

>>13181
Oh was parched not a Peter Crouch Podcast reference?

Garlic Bread.

Really thirsty.

If only there was some sort of nutritional drink that gave you all the benefits of a full meal, but in liquid form.

>>13185

Energy in a liquid form like a sort of fuel, for humans. I'd buy it. You know I think there's a product like that called Soylent.

(A good day to you Sir!)

>>64666
I am playing no part in this, and only hope we have a fucking affiliate tag on all the links so we make a couple of quid.

Highly amused by it though.

>>64669

I thought we all knew his real name anyway?

_{Simon Bennett isn't it}

This Huel joke has been one of the most quality ones going here in years.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

>>64673

JOKE?

>>64674
HE IS EXPERIENCING A PAUCITY OF PERTINENT INFORMATION PEPELAUGH

Oxford city centre reporting in!

Kidlington massif!

er...

>>987

Thame-worker reporting. Hope I'm not too late...

It's very expensive here.
This thread is more than a fucking decade old.

>>3531
So are you.

>>433562

Isn't Huel that brand with the most amazing first purchase free goodies?

>>433563
Free gifts you say? What do you get?

>>433564
Does it even matter when all that separates you from a lifetime of complete and healthy nutrition is a few keystrokes?

>>433577
Loads of people have them at work, in boxes. I'm going to have to fucking try one now.

>>433581

Thank you for your custom. Have a Hueeeeeeeeeeeeellicious day good sir!

that's a shame, I used to like watching TV burp

>>64659
Reason For Relinquishing Title: Not Racist Enough

>>2635
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1428408/Suicide-by-DIY-guillotine-and-an-ingenious-timing-device.html

>>2636

That doesn't answer either of my questions it's just general guillotine related news.

>>2637
You're absolutely correct in your description of my link.

>>2637
>guillotine related news

Oh come on, that's a site just asking to be created.

>>7069
He's 12 now right? Yeah that's a good age for Hitchhiker's, most of my school mates had read it by then.

>>7069
Dirk Gently seems an obvious choice. Pratchett too.

>>7070
Yeah. A week today and he's a teenager.

>>7071
I'm not actually sure if I've got any Dirk Gently books, I've certainly got other ones by Adams but I have a feeling they're others in the Hitchhiker's series. He's got around 15 Discworld books plus a few others by Pratchett, such as Dodger and the Nome Trilogy; I'm looking to get more but you see surprisingly few Pratchett books in second-hand and charity shops considering his volume of output.

>>7071

Seconding Pratchett here. I read his truckers/diggers/wings trilogy in primary and loved it and started into discworld at 15 although I'd say an intelligent kid could definitely get it much younger than that.

>>7071

Dirk Gently always felt a bit more adult, even if I did read them as a Young Adult. Likewise I first read HHGTTG at 14-16 and probably didn't really appreciate them properly.

Sigh because my lad's just hit four and while he loves story time he has the attention span of a goldfish and I suppose I'll be here in a couple of years asking what you can read to an ADHD 6 year old.

I mean I would sit and listen to whole chapters of the Alice, Narnia, and Wind in the Willows when I was 3, I knew I never should have spaffed in his mum. Sage.

Did anyone actually watch all of His Dark Materials? It's been a couple of months and I'm still struggling to find the motivation to get around to the second episode.

>>433491
I believe the term is”pusher”.

>>433492

Actually, big huel refer to us as 'hueligans'.

>>433493

Mirth.

>>433493

Hweyligans? I don't get it.

>>433499
Hwey the lads!

>>20000

>>20599
Have you ever seen old people? They all have weird fat ears.
Everyone's ears actually carry on growing bigger through their entire life, which would probably explain what people think they are seeing.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/jeffrey-epstein-was-murdered-former-medical-examiner-michael-baden-claims-nzn99wdzn

>>20874
https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-chrome

>investigates high-profile deaths on a long-running television series and was hired by Epstein’s brother, Mark

So now he's being paid to say more than he was prepared to say contemporaneously?

>>15235

That isn't a counter argument unless you consider "no it isn't" to be one.

This is someone performing a transaction with people they have never met. It isn't revenge porn anymore than sharing copyrighted porn owned by a company is revenge porn.

>>15236

When I did "you show me yours I'll show you mine" on snapchat with your mum it was someone performing a transaction with someone they've never met but it would still be revenge porn if I posted the screenshots.

>>15234
Go on, lad. Cavort with Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters.

>>15233

Guess what though, if you posted a thread with links to torrents for Star Wars films, we'd delete that too.

>>15239

mods = boring sods

>>15222
Oh well done! I doubt it but will have a look.

I've never been one to care where things get posted but how is this /pol/?

>>88859
"HE SAYS IT LIKE IT IS!" is the cornerstone of modern politics.

I dunno, people keep posting /v/ threads on /iq/ instead so everything has gone all topsy-turvy.

>>88855
This is as /v/ as it gets. He put the screen actors guild on blast, but otherwise it was just really witty.

Was it funny? No, but I agreed the fuck out of it.

>>88871

I don't think it was meant to be funny, it felt quite fucking vitriolic to be quite honest with you.

Regardless, OP probably posted it in /pol/ here because it was all over /pol/ on the other place for the last few days and he felt like fitting in.

I'll get a belljar soon to help protect any future displays from dust and prospective occupants.

Are you a serial killer? Because your windowsill makes you look like a serial killer.

How does your moss stay so fresh? I would assume it would die. Also have you thought about investing in a plant pot?

>>2789
I thought the same, so i put it in my bathroom which is often steamy and fairly moist with condensation from the window - It's been going since last autumn i think. It's a shame to have removed it but i don't really want that many grubs in my house.

Pictured gave me the idea - though i'm now wondering if it would become likewise infested.

>>2788
They were dead when i found them.

>>2790

I suspect moss mats are probably deeply impractical in reality, highly slimy and your feet end up dirtier than when you started. I think it is one of those ideas that people buy because of the romance of it but turns out to be in reality awful.

When I was young people identified, and sub categorised themselves by what music they liked and what drugs they took, and it was all deadly serious.

All evidence points to this being the exact same bollocks to me. Society has taught them that the hetronormative status quo is awful just for existing and being something else is special and fighting a cause, and if there is one thing young people have always loved it is rebelling against the status quo and being special. If I was young I might decide the fact that you can identify who I am just by looking at me might be a problem too. Of course the more someone is dismissive the way I am being the more they will double down. The beauty of most of these genders of course is it requires no effort on your part to be one and a huge amount of accommodating on other peoples part to not be triggering.

Remember when politics wasn't an absurd false dilemma between either Trump or hating that you were born normal. I miss that.

I always knew post recession there would a rise in the extremes I just never expected how alienated I would be from the left.

>>64644
>>64602
I'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks this. What we need is a label.

>>64645

No mater what label you pick it will be co-opted. 'Alt-right', started as a middle ground group of people who weren't sold on the new left social theories, and very quickly it was tore apart from both sides from nazis rebranding themselves as alt right, and from online think pieces saying it was all just phlegmatic dog whistling for nazis.

Also creating new lables appears to be the bloody problem here.

>>64646

What if you made a label for someone else then co-opt it yourself?

>>64647
Isn't that what the gays did with fag?