>>426539

>roughly the same sort of person who shares Bake Off memes on Facebook.

I always thought the fan base of Eurovision was mainly poofs. Or do gays do that as well these days?

Yesterday you lads had me to throw away a tenner on this and the picture of Greta eating hummus wrong influenced me into eating some myself before bed which, in turn, led to heartburn and a poorly tummy for most of the day.

Is this all part of your masterplan?

>>426523
What's it like living in a world without campy fun?

>>426548

Is this all part of your masterplan?

Of course. DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!! FEED THEM SLIGHTLY UNHEALTHY AMOUNTS OF HUMMUS!!

Did we win?

>>426808
No

>>426784

>YoMi'kmaqki

Quality wordfilter, mods. I meant to say "yoshi aki".

>>426785

I have no clue what either of that means, or why it would even necessitate a word filter.

>>426784
Speak English.

>>426785
You missed the space between the two words, forming another word in the middle of them.

>>426795

I'm just going to type Mi'kmaq to confirm to myself I've worked that out correctly.

I need to stop doing deep-dives into bigoted teen eskimo Tweeter. Shit's too retarded.

>>28565

I'm learning to be obsequious in Mandarin. It probably won't save me from the forced labour camps, but it might earn me an extra bowl of rice while I'm there.

>他做到了！ 杀死叛徒！

>>28567
You turncoat bastard, I'll have your hide before I take their rice!

>>28567
我的气垫船装满了鳗鱼

The cyclist today who saw an older lady crossing the road at a t-junction and approached it at near full speed, purposefully moving so his path was aligned with hers so he could go 'Watch it!' before cycling straight out of the junction and nearly being sidelined by a taxi with right of way.

I am a huge, huge fan of getting more people to cycle but some London cyclists can be a little bellicose at times and misunderstand their commute to work for the first stage of the Tour De France.

>>63284

I think part of reaching a truly mature understanding of politics and the impact of sensitive, controversial, and divisive subjects like race, is reaching an understanding of why and how otherwise decent people can come to hold beliefs you find abhorrent. my younger self, and it seems in similar way you, would have found it irreconcilable to think that people with opposing beliefs to my own might have an equally valid position, but morality is entirely relative.

i think i reached a kind of self-discovery during a debate about cultural imperialism. would it be wrong of the west to intervene in a country such as saudi arabia, where a great many things we would see as human rights abuses are just part of daily life? the present day mainstream western aversion to race issues can be perceived as nothing more than a wish to stuff the issue in the back of a cupboard, out of sight and out of mind; and like white people always have done, we feel like we have the right and the duty to impose our way of thinking on everyone.

i'm not saying you should have let your uncle be racist, but i reckon you might find it easier to interpret and navigate those situations if you give some consideration to how the mind of a racist works, without the presupposition that they are indeed just a nasty old racist. i've spent time with many people of different ethnic persuasions over the years, thanks to working in places full of asians or living in areas of high immigration- and the one thing they all seem to have in common is a much less precocious attitude about race than your average middle class white person, who is terrified that they might one day do or say something that could be seen that way, and expresses shock or concern on other people's behalf.

i'm not sure where i was going with this so i'm saging.

What's with all the lengthy shitposting on this board lately? How am I supposed to show my badass genius in response to such diatribes?

>>63286
We have always encouraged a better class of verbose, grammatical, polite shitpost. It's our raison d'etre.

>>63287
FUCK OFF CLEANPOST

>>63284


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RovF1zsDoeM

>>13123

Just so we're clear, you're not talking about a fruit n' nut chocolate bar?

>>13123
I fucking hate the word "candy". I can't help but hear it in a comically exaggerated American accent in my head.

>>13123
This sounds like the build up to someone going postal.

>>13124
Raisins with my chocolate, it's healthy and a snack. What's wrong with that.

just fruit and nuts crushed into a bar

>>13126
I just hate people using me as an excuse to do something. If they want to eat the biscuits just eat them. I hate this pretence that somebody doing something normal has 'forced' them or the whole thing where I bring in a breakfast roll and they pretend that they are fighting an inner battle not to go get one when we all know they will.

There's a woman who constantly takes up about a fifth of the fridge because she'll bring in a massive bag for life full of food to sustain her during the three days per week she actually works. For some reason, I'm assuming because she's elderly and has been here longer than anyone else, most people see this as one of the 'cute' things she does.

>>22730
It's not the worst offender, but it does have its fair share of orange and teal going on.

>>22731
It's not "orange and teal" it's just grey. It looks like my telly's knackered.

Dunno' lads, this show seems a bit shit, the tone's all over the shop. I might just watch A Touch of Frost again.

A fuckin' kddie just robbed the shoes off a lynched drug dealer, Robocop isn't this OTT.

>>22732
That's the "teal" half of the equation. Evidently there isn't much sunshine on the Central Police patch. Lots of the indoor scenes have a red-orange look to them, as do the night scenes (understandable with sodium lighting).

Not really a proper spoiler, but in later series we see inside the Deputy Chief Constable's office, and it's heavy on wooden panelling. Very orangey.

Finally reached the end of series 5. Turns out I'd pegged the "who" very early on even before the massive hint that she'd been a defence solicitor previously. I've already got my suspicions about the sequel hook. If the "fourth Dot" is the PCC or the DCC I'll be somewhat disappointed.

>>7954

The more you watch it the better you get at following the puck. Better quality streams help:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjDuVdyRHEXEmeCpWaLkF_g/live

Unbeaten, top of the league, bloody brilliant. Home game against Sheffield Steeldogs next Sunday, going to be rowdy no doubt.

Britain made it through to the IIHF world championship for the first time since 1994. We're playing Germany tomorrow at 15:15.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/ice-hockey/47308076

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming- hockey's coming home.

>>7954
It's one of those sports (like cricket) that you can't really deeply comprehend unless you have been physically present in a stadium and understood how fast, distant, difficult the shots are.

A single day at Lords will completely change your view of Test Match Special on Radio 4, as you'll have a deep understanding of what they're describing - I think it's the same with hockey and basketball on video, you don't really understand or appreciate what is going on until you've seen the entire picture in person.

Hockey is easier to understand on TV, as they actually explain what a power play is if you're new to the rules and you get to see the same replay the ref sees during call challenges.

I regularly go watch EIHL games and I'm a Glasgow Clan fan. The British team is managed by our manager, Pete Russel.

>>22627
It’s a parody film, so you need to have at least a passing familiarity with the source material to get it.

It was like a really, really, really boring version of Crank.

>>22636

I remember being disapointed when I watched it. Is it just that the acting is awful, or is it just bad writing? It reminded me of pre turn of the millenium videogame with a bad translation for all the wrong reasons.

>>22637
My main issues with it were too much shaky cam and the violence being so repetitive that you disengage and lose interest. It did suffer from poor writing, as the film dragged and there was very little reason to care about Henry, his backstory and his quest to uncover the truth/seek vengeance.

Just rewatched Letterkenny.

It's one of the only shows that makes me consistently laugh out loud. Some of the cultural references and slang take a while to get (or you need to look them up), but it's endlessly quoteable and so intensely deadpan.

My one qualm is that lead character is also the writer and director, and always writes himself getting the girl and winning the fight. There is very little tension.

It slightly reminds me of a flapper hat.

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=visor+beanie

>>5997

thanks

I posted a while ago about some of the older Total War games updating to include all their DLC. It was mostly unit packs so I wasn't too bothered, but I decided to check out Napoleon's Penisular campaign and it's realy good fun. I thought it'd be the regular capaign only on a different map, but because it's the same amount of provinces with fewer resources, you actually end up conquering differently. Agents feel more important because of the pro or anti-French sentiment you have to manage, and it's far harder, at least so far, to reach the tipping point that occurs in the main campaign where you become on unstoppable wrecking ball, mostly because there's always something slipping past your big armies to raid something. As the British you can also recruit local Portugese and Spanish forces, which I like to see because it really diversifies what your army can do, and what it looks like (that sounds minor but endless rows of redcoats and the same two cavalry units can get very boring, very fast). And I haven't encountered any perfectly flat areas of the map yet, which is a major bugbear of mine about the main campaign, as all of Southern Italy and the British isles are perfectly flat for some reason.

The main problem is that the campaign AI still sucks, and the Portugese and Spanish allies themselves don't do much of anything, and will sometimes actively impede you by sitting on a brige and forcing you to go around the entire river. I've also seen a couple of French doomstacks just wander by my armies like pillaging a farmstead was more important.

Thank you for reading my review of a eight year old DLC, please give it a like and check out my Patreon linked down below.

https://www.patreon.com/HHHolmes

>>22784

Napoleon is my favourite Total War of the lot, I reckon, and I say that even as a lifelong Warhammer nut. I'm not sure if that's because it was actually good, or if it was just the last one before the series itself went to shit, but I have a massive soft spot for it.

It suffers from some similar problems to Shogun 2 where the factions feel too similar (ooh, these foot regiments have an accuracy stat of 85 rather than 80, good grief. How unique) but ironically I think it was a type of warfare and an era that suited the engine and the turn based strategic overview best. I enjoyed how it was more manoeuvre based than just charging your rock/paper/scissors blobs of guys at each other.

I did hate some of the quirks, like how the AI would sometimes just sneak something like a single unit of foot on its own past your armies and you'd end up with this annoying little army just walking around teabagging all your farms and universities at the furthest corner of the map. But at least it didn't quite so blatantly cheat to appear challenging, like it has to in the recent ones.

"Baba Is You". It's a neat little puzzle game. In a Sokoban style playing field, there are items and a few kinds of "rule" blocks. These consist of nouns, verbs and attributes and can be arranged to change how the game behaves. The aim of the game is to get the noun that is "YOU" to be on the field that is "WIN".

Screenshot is a (badly stitched together, mea culpa) tutorial level. The "Baba is you" near the bottom left means that Baba, the white rabbit character, is currently you, the player. The other existing chain "Wall is stop" means walls stop things (including the player). Use the rabbit to punt any of the words from "Wall is stop" out of alignment and the rule no longer applies, i.e. "wall" is no longer "stop". From there, you can assemble "Flag is win" and hop onto the flag for a simple solution. If you're feeling a bit more whimsical, though, you could arrange it as "Wall is you" and "Baba is win" and then move the wall onto the rabbit. Or declare that "Wall is flag" to turn every wall tile into a flag, then declare "Flag is win" and take your pick. I hope you get the idea.

The only contraint is that something must always be "you". You don't lose immediately if nothing is you, but you can take no further action unless something else re-assembles an "X is you". It's quick to reset the maps and you can rewind as many steps as you want at any time, even after "death".

>>22771
After 60 hours or so played it's hard to argue I don't enjoy the game, but your sentiment of
> The previous games made me feel like I was being taught, here I feel like I'm being told. That's alright, but it's not as fun.

hits the nail on its head. I've reached the final boss of the Immortal Severance ending and I think I might drop it here. I enjoyed the non-boss content of the game right to the end but for the most part the bosses were challenging not (just) because they are difficult but because fighting them quickly became tedious. The boss I'm on right now for example has a phase one which, after a few tries, is just a tedious chore and delayed attacks after telegraphing, quite reminiscent of DS3's Nameless King.

A minor correction here from my earlier comment, by the way: "proper" boss runs are universally short, mini-boss runs on the other hand range from fine to dreadful. They often involve clearing the arena before it's safe to engage and, of course, if you fail then it's time to do it again, stupid!¹ Juzou the Drunkard and Seven Ashina Spears are particularly egregious examples, in my opinion.

> a particular unblockable sword skill

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

Started playing Trails Of Cold Steel. It's supposed to be about 60-80 hours long, which is a big investment, but so far it seems fairly interesting. Came with a decent sized full colour manual, which is a rarity in this day and age. Brought back memories of going into town with my mum as a kid, buying a new game, and reading the manual on the way home. It's a shame most big publishers have done away with manuals.

Continuing to spend my time on UT2004. I've discovered Onslaught maps that feature the bloody Leviathan.
It's tough. Lots of armour - 5,000 hp, compare to 800 hp of the Goliath, the in-game tank variant, which is a formidable opponent itself. Still, not that tough if used incorrectly or left without ground/aerial support. The main plasma cannon delivers devastating damage at the cost of making the vehicle stationary and precluding the driver from using homing rockets. That makes it rather vulnerable to air and artillery attacks.

It's lots of fun to drive it on the ONS-Severance. All it takes to win is to get to the enemy base with enough hitpoints to deploy the main cannon and waste the core in just two shots. That 'just' will be a tense time period as the cannon charges slowly; the road towards the core even more so, it's the whole fleet of tanks, helos and other battle machinery against you plus the small arms fire. You're golden if you managed to grab a Redeemer en route and hopped off just before the tank explodes from incessant fire. Very annoying for the opposing side even if you didn't blow the core right then.

Sage because I feel like that HL2/cake lad from the XKCD comic strip.

>>22819

You seem angry that video games are becoming more affordable and accessible. Did you really think the £60 AAA disc release was the optimal, fairest solution to gaming?

I'm not a fan of micro-transactions and will pretty much avoid any game that has made them integral to the experience - I will never play Shadow of War, even though they've 'fixed' that now, but you know what, that's okay, because I also now get to pay six quid a month to access an increasingly impressive digital game library.

I will be annoyed if the prices of digital releases don't drop in the next few years, mind. I'd much rather every single game in the world had a cosmetic loot crate system in it if it actually subsidised the sticker price of the game, but as it stands it's still slightly more expensive to download a game than it is to get the disc, which is all sorts of daft. I do have hope the shift towards disc free consoles will herald a more 'steam sale' approach to the digital console marketplaces. Time will tell.

>>22831

They're still adding microtransactions to £60 AAA titles. They're selling £100 premium versions of those games, because loads of content has been carved off as day-one DLC and £60 doesn't get you the full game. The whole industry has gone fucking mental.

>>22828

No lad. Just pirate it instead of paying. Were fortunate enough to live in an age where you can have your cake and eat it- You can vote with your wallet and still have the game. If you pretend that that's somehow morally wrong then you're either sheltered, naive, or both.

Videogames make silly money. If we want them to improve the only way to do it is to stop incentivising the greed by buying into it. You're not going to be putting some poor starving Dev out of a job- There's a separate discussion to be had there about unionisation for developers and rebalancing the role of publishers and executives etc.

Indie games gave us a brief hope but they're really just AAA lite by this point. Support small devs. Think of it like you would the music industry- You support the bands you like by buying their shit and going to gigs, but they make fuck all off your Spotify subscription so you literally might as well pirate it. The only benefit you get from that is the moral high ground.

>>22831
>>22833
I mean on this theme
>Did you really think the £60 AAA disc release was the optimal, fairest solution to gaming?
I'd have to answer yes. If your disposable income is near zero, £10 is as inaccessible as £60. If the whole game is on one disk, you get a pretty equitable breakdown where people who could afford to pay usually did, and people who couldn't would pirate. It's something I've always appreciated about games as a hobby in a way - other than the hardware costs there was a sort of equality about it all that you don't find in a lot of other hobbies.

There's perhaps an argument that it's not sustainable but I'm increasingly coming to the view that most of the best games have already been made.

>>22834

There was always preowned, too. The live service/digital distribution model conveniently kills that dead.

I can only see it as entitlement on the part of the publishers. They were already making plenty of money but they see it as their right to make even more money, year after year, forever. Not just in games, to be fair, but other digital software. We've lost the inherently democratic nature of a product being something you buy and subsequently own, and can do as you see fit with. It baffles me really that people are just fine with it.

In our hellish dystopia of a future, you're going to have to pay a subscription for the DRM on your Google Mind, and every time they release a patch you'll go blind until they reboot the servers. This is how it starts.

>>13011
>the cafe worker asked if I wanted it with beans, peas or 'mushies' and I am still not convinced that referring to mushy peas as 'mushies' is actually a thing
You know how sometimes a weed dealer will work in fast food and give you a bag if you use a code word when ordering your food?

>>13014
No.

>>13015
Let me rephrase;
You know how sometimes on TV a weed dealer will work in fast food and give TV people a bag if they use a code word when ordering their food?

>>13015
>>13016
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-bristol-37864218/gang-which-dealt-350k-worth-of-drugs-from-bristol-takeaway-is-jailed

>>13016

It happens in real life too. If you ask for the special pizza at the Happy Chip in Newcastle they'll sell you pills.

Who wore it best?

>>425679

You mean which turd has been polished the best?

Those flabby tits on the left look a bit sad.

>>425680
I think it's more a case of sprinkling glitter on a turd than polishing it.

>>425681

It's still going to stink either way.

>>425666
Once we are going to have a generation of grandmas with wrinkly arses and tarty tats about them.

His face looks like it's made out of the same plastic as cheap shopping bags.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThOzJ09wYLg

I thought that was a tin-foil hat.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fESq5xcEzqU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJBbEqIFh7Q

>>4801

Is he trying to get a copyright strike?

>>4802

If he did, it would plainly be Rupert Murdoch in collusion with the police and YouTube causing his copyright strike. He made a diss song to his trolls using D12's Shit On You instrumental and it's completely disappeared now so I'd guess that was a copyright thing.

>>63219
You are Sam from Wendover and I claim my £5. Or a free year of whatever you're selling this month.

>>63221
HE'S FROM OSSETT, BECAUSE EVERYONE IS FROM OSSETT.

>>63222
I genuinely know of someone moving from Ossett to Flockton because there's too many non-white faces in Ossett. That's 98% white British Ossett.

>>63221

Afraid not. Tell me about this Sam though. Sounds like a character.

>>63223

you'd have thought he wants to get further away from huddersfield/dewsbury if it's the browns he hates. is he dense?

tell him he wants to move to wakey. we don't have many of them here at all, but all the shops sell tyskie.

Not if you have a phobia of corners.

No it is scandalously controversial. He most likely didn't invet it and took credit for it like one of his many other outrageous claims, like having a golden thigh, telling off a bear, and being the son of Apollo.

>>5758

>Shave and be proud

I have no qualms with that, to be fair.

Appreciate the shaver recommendation, but would you happen to know the best battery powered one? I'm an international businessman you know.

>>5759
>best battery powered one

Never seen a good one. You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave, when it is short it is stubbly and beardy and you need a perfect cut else it a) hurts and b) looks terrible. The baldfader is the best out there.

You can try razoring it too for a really close shave, but it takes a while to make it look good, a bit too long for me in the shower in the morning, so I use the baldfader on grade 0 twice a week, with grade 1 for the beard - it comes with all the attachments and doo-dahs. Use the razor for dates/interviews..

>>5759

>I'm an international businessman don't you know

>>5760

>You actually need quite a lot of power to get a good head shave

Fair play. I've done a grade 0 on a generic battery powered one before, and it's alright but it's definitely a bit 'fuzzy'.

I'll get one, they're cheap enough too. There's a hilarious review of it on amazon, a bloke has posted three pictures of his head with a few tiny red splotches, and has complained in all caps about how it's nearly killed him. The shave looks great though.

>>5758

It took me more than a year to take your advice but I finally bought a Baldfader - the slightly updated version to the one linked, apparently it goes a whole 0.1mm shorter now.

It's fantastic, I should have got one sooner. I've gotten used to shaving my head in the shower with a Mach 3, but it always feels like a waste of time since I still end up having a stubbly head six hours later anyway.

I thought I'd drag this thread out just in case anyone else has gone bald in the year or so since this post.

>>4785
Just looked it up. Two days, apparently. Fair enough, might give it a go.

>>4786

Two or three days. A lot of people say you'll suffer flu like symptoms for up to two weeks at the start, but personally I never have.

>>4785
You may not lose weight for the first few weeks, but it's enough to get a taste of what the diet is like.

>>4788
I don't think I entered ketosis until a month had passed, and I went "cold turkey". I monitored with keto urine sticks. It's a gradual process, but I'd expect longer than 2 weeks for most people.

>>4789

You don't store a month of carbohydrates in your body, you will be in ketosis within 24 hours realistically, if you don't eat any carbs. Everyone is different but under 20g per day of carbs seems to be the magic number that all but guarantees ketosis. It might take much longer for you body to get 'adapted' to this new process, but as the liver can only store about 100g of glycogen, it does not take very long at all to end up in ketosis. It might well take a few weeks before you 'feel' any different, but biologically you'll burn the last of your excess carbs within a day or two.

For the record those keto urine strips aren't particuarly useful as they don't measure nutritionally correlated ketones, the only way to do this is with a blood ketone meter.