>>8825
>it's going to be fucking awesome.

Kill yourself. He's a dumb, racist, joke, as are you by association.

>>8828
Oh no not dolphin rape.

>>8829
*low flying aeroplane sounds*

>>63184
You've got to head to Poundland for proper British confectionery. At least, I'm assuming their knock-off Percy pigs are made in this country.

>>63185
I don't care how many quavers you're offering. I'm not putting a dog dinky in my mouth.

>>63186
They're not meant to go in your mouth, you div. There's not nearly enough muscular tension in your tongue to truly appreciate a good knot.

>>63183
I'm surprised you can't get vegetarian pork pies yet. Quorn scotch eggs are the only processed veggie food that actually taste similar to the real thing, although you can make your own kind of passable ones if you wrap sosmix around a boiled egg and cover it in breadcrumbs.

>>63189

There's a certain firm toothsomeness in a pork pie that I'm not convinced you could replicate with a vegan solution.

>>8817
All he did was touch the fanny of a more than willing lass. Admittedly that lass was in Year 10, but she looked considerably older than Greta Thunderbird does now. It's not like he diddled actual children; he's not a monster.

>>8821
It's also said that she lied about her age. What was he supposed to do, ask for ID?

>>8822
She didn't lie about her age. He asked when she was 16, she told him November (the following year), he Googled the age of consent again and continued grooming her.

>>8824
The Terriers scoring is certainly controversial, a worthy bump.

>>8826
Shows how much Solskjaer (I've probably got that wrong) has lost control of the dressing room. Pogba in particular is the sort of Drogba-esque prima donna who needs a good slapping down. Ole strikes me as too nice a manager, great at motivating a team that's already doing well but terrible at whipping an underperforming team into shape when they're demoralised.

I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the works of Sir Terry. You can tell that Pratchett and Gaiman were challenging themselves to make the other laugh when they were writing it; it's the most fun I've had reading a book in quite some time.

Bar the typical American fashion self-help giddy bollocks it's been an interesting story so far (I'm 6-7 chapters in).
There about half a chapter where he muses about the reasons he'd got into this shit (namely BUD/S training). I still have a hard time fully grasping all the self-imposed suffering. Not that I don't understand it; three Hell Weeks and the rest of that spec ops training plus the 100 mile marathon in 24 hours without any bloody preparation - it's just so much for one human being that I cannot fully comprehend it as a grand scheme.
Stone tough and fucking mad.

>>6861

>>6982
It's annoying that it's not going to be on the BBC for another six or seven months.

>>6981

Yeah I liked his interview on Impact theory. As far as yanks go, he's a pretty interesting one.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78I9dTB9vqM

If I enter a pay and display car park without dedicated motorcycle parking, can I just park in an empty strip of space somewhere out of the way or do I need to pay to use a dedicated spot for a car? I see plenty of people park the former way but I'm wondering what the likelihood of getting penalised by a car park attendant is.

>>4323

I know this is a shite answer but it really does just depend on the car park, who runs it, and possibly how much of a cunt the attendant feels like being.

Logically the company should want you to park outside of a bay because that means they have room for another customer. I reckon as long as you're not blocking anything (I'm sure you're not) then you'll probably be fine, but really the only way to know for sure is to ring whoever runs the car park and ask.

>>4322

I bought one. I think I was making clients nervous showing up to places in my rusty dodgy looking Micra so my internal justification is that a Mini always looks quite nice and normal and a car you'd expect a consultant to show up in at your place of business, but it's actually still almost as cheap as a Micra.

>>4331
> but it's actually still almost as cheap as a Micra.
Wait till you supercharger goes!

- @14:47 Have you got it up yet?

- @31:57 Dick Seaman - Race Car driver.

- @38:48 I've been banged around enough on this show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvW90UbvKb8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABr38zn8klo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-2j9ZqCtt0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it9vKeJgAoA

Sorry for Vimeo but this video's amazing. I can't believe I'd never seen it before.

https://vimeo.com/24191501

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHCE_hSKhFQ

There is nothing guilty about ARE SUE. What kinds of high standards do you people have?

>>40751
>>40756
An understandable cognitive dissonance with nude “celebrity” leaks and as incorrigible (and illegal) leaking them is, it does remind that we are all just fallible people.

>>40757

Well I am guilty of having dreams of her having willies where her nipples would usually be.

>>40759

What the hell is wrong with your subconscious m8? She has such lovely nipples.

>>40760

Dicknipples are a very old school hentai/furry internet fetish.

You only have to be worried when it becomes shitting dicknipples.

I'm going to be blunt with you here ladm9. I want you to understand it's out of kindness, but the prognosis doesn't sound good, from what you've told us.

The fact she's starting to feel like you're less invested in the relationship, coupled with her existing anxiety issues, and the stress of distance on top, is not a good combination. Distance itself is enough to bring a relationship to its knees. I think perhaps what you need to ask yourself is how easy it would be to resolve the distance problem. Is it just a temporary state out of necessity, or would there still be an issue of separation after you're both finished with your course and moving on?

I don't think the age gap is really a big deal necessarily. I think generally once people have reached a certain age, they're about as "mature" as they're going to get, and it's a fallacy that you grow considerably wiser with age. You learn from mistakes and have invariably made more mistakes when you are older, but that doesn't mean someone younger is unable to relate. The core of it is, as you say, you feel like this isn't the right situation for you right now. If you're being honest with yourself, you just want to add a few more notches to your bedpost.

While I don't think the two of you are completely doomed, I don't think it would be wise to continue the relationship in its current course. Given the distance, maybe it's a good idea to suggest a break or some sort of open relationship arrangement while the two of you can't be physically together. Now, of course, I realise that if you suggest that, it has the potential to go down about as well as a sack of lead on a pool toy, but if you don't take some form of action you could well be heading for a miserable and heartbreaking split.

If you can persuade her it makes sense to temporarily put things on the back-burner until you're both in a position to make it a more real, physical relationship, you might just avoid that. In the mean time you'll get to boost your confidence and make up for some lost time. Naturally there's the risk either of you could meet someone else, and of course you have to accept that if you're going to be free to sleep with other people, so will she. But that's just the way these things go I'm afraid.

I think if you are both truly right for each other you'll overcome those things. If not, fate simply took its course.

>>13106

The curriculum and course material look reasonably good. It's not quite as in-depth as FreeCodeCamp, but that's potentially an advantage if you have limited technical experience or you're intimidated by the sheer scope of the FreeCodeCamp course. FreeCodeCamp definitely have better materials on getting hired, particularly their partnerships with non-profit organisations to help students build a portfolio of real-world projects.

Remote tech support lad here.

My pay has now reached £23 an hour.

I've become proficient enough that I logged onto work when blackout drunk after being out on the piss the other day (literally didn't even know I'd done the work and logged on till I checked the dashboard).

My customer satisfaction rating went up.

>>13111
How many hours per week/month do you get?

>>13113
As many or as little as I want.

I'm working 10 hours a week at the minute. Pays the cheap rent in my provincial shithole and keeps me in Aldi lager and skunk.

>>13114

Winning

>>22615
And only two Monkey Islands!

Michael Barrymore's said he isn't doing pantomime this year. I did Aladdin a few years back and I've never heard the end of it.

>>22617

You don't like curse?

>>22618

>>22619
No, although it was a long time ago. The graphics were too good, I didn't like that he now had a voice (turned it off), and just my general possibly-unfair-but-perhaps-not sense of things being shit when the original creator leaves.

>>7524
The value might get wiped out in a bart, the exchange you buy from is probably shady as shit if they're not doing KYC checks and are liable to just run off with the cash and your crypto before you can shift them, and the exchange you cash out from might suddenly develop "technical difficulties". Then there's the minor point that the blockchain being entirely open means that even if you do manage to cash out your explanation won't hold water.

>>7528

I think you grossly over estimate the risks and the traceability. It is like you don't even know what cryptocurrency is mostly used for.

>>7529
AIUI, it's mainly used for taking money from suckers these days, hence its uselessness for anything else.

>>7532

Bitcoin maybe, but something like Monero is still very useful for buying drugs on the internet.

>>7533
>Monero
Then you're back to just getting any money out the other end at all.

Three great late twentieth century female writers: Muriel Spark the very quirky borderline insane Catholic convert, Kathy Acker the patron saint of all bad girls and adventuresses, Andrea Dworkin the intolerant anti-porn feminist who could put a sentence together like no-one else in the world whatever you may think of her views.

And I'd say the Bronte sisters are the absolute cornerstones of femaile literature, and all three of them are very much worth reading and surprisingly different in style and viewpoint.

Have you heard of a writer called J.K Rowling? She seems to be quite popular and is very cutting edge, she even releases errata’s to her books via twitter.

>Jane Austen

I never thought I would like Jane Austen purely based on the topics but there is a cynical sense of humour in her work I find wonderful. Plus you can read versions of her books with added monsters for the easily bored.

>>6970
>errata's

[sic]

>>6963
If you're into genre fiction, Ann Leckie (Ancillary Justice etc) and N.K Jemisen (probably mispelt her name, but it's close to that) are both very good.

For some kinder, softer, sci-fi have a look at Becky Chambers, starting with 'A long way to a small, angry, planet'

>>6963
Read Defiance and Gold In The Furnace by Savitri Devi.

Well, I'm not going to tell you how to commit crime. But if you really do want to build and run mathematical simulations then VBA is certainly not the way to go. It's clumsy, and you'll be stuck doing anything beyond the rudimentary.

C++ is the go-to language for this sort of thing (in my experience, though I expect to start an argument) but as a novice you'd be better off studying Python. It has a more intuitive syntax for developing your own algorithms. Get to grips with the basics of the ubiquitous NumPy package. And try following guides like this hastily-googled one:

https://towardsdatascience.com/monte-carlo-simulations-with-python-part-1-f5627b7d60b0

I've just read up about the algorithm here
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/montecarlosimulation.asp

And honestly it seems quite simple. Much simpler than formula I've built in the past.
It isn't a crystal ball for predicting the future and I'm not sold on its value as an investment tool. It clearly has real world applications but I think you would be better looking at events rather than presuming because a snapshot of the sales of pumpkins shows a significant increase of sales in October they will continue to rise in November.

>>7526
>C++ is the go-to language for this sort of thing (in my experience, though I expect to start an argument)

In my experience regardless of how obnoxious and clunky it maybe, people want these things modled in excel (not even VBA) on the vague presumption they can follow your working out. They don't trust the magic black box of 'programming'.

BEEFY ED BALLS

ED BALLS

>>63172
I don't believe this is really a photo of Ed Balls.

>>63174

ED BALLS IS A HEEL.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06fhfvs

>>63175

Amazing. Balls for PM.

>>22822

So Rimworld?

>>22822

It's just a map view of an old server. All pretty things and no actual life save for the players.

>>22739

Was this the one with the BBC (obnoxious obsidian tower at spawn) in it? That was the one I ran and I do miss it. I don't have the time now but I suppose if you're all fine with the owner cheating a bit I'll start it up again.

It's entirely possible I still have the world, but don't hold your breath.

>>22825

I'd love to go back and have a look around if you do find it.

I'm not really a Bike Guy but this sounds like a solid plan to me, too, as long as you're confident you can get the parts and keep a bike that old running.

Also I've never seen a bike with sidecar park in a motorbike bay, you'd probably end up taking up two or three spaces.

>>4326
I like the plan in many ways, but the only problem is that with a sidecar you lose one of the primary benefits of having a bike - filtering through traffic; you would essentially be the width of a small car, and so would end up sitting in a lot more traffic than you would on a normal bike.

Have always wanted one too (particularly some of the old BMW ones) but not as a main/commuting bike.

>>4328

The handling of a sidecar outfit is really fucking weird. You're totally asymmetrical and the weight distribution changes radically depending on who or what is in the sidecar. It's not like you have to totally re-learn how to ride, but there is a fairly steep learning curve and a lot of your instincts can get you into trouble.

>>4327
I think pretty much every old Soviet machine was designed to be easily fixed with a hammer and some basic tools...but I've heard that the biggest problem is that you'll be doing a lot of fixing. I've never seen a sidecar in a motorbike bay either, but I've also never seen anyone riding a sidecar bike either.

>>4328
Very true, that's why I emphasised it being an alternative to a small car in this very specific set of circumstances. There isn't much benefit if you don't need to haul a bunch of shit within central London, or greater London if the ULEZ extension in 2021 proceeds as planned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eudsYr0iER0

It didn't fill me with trepidation, unlike the Artemis Fowl trailer, so I guess that's a plus.

World Book Day: Parents spend more on outfits than they do on novels

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/world-book-day-parents-outfits-14097200

That doesn't surprise me. Most of the kids I've seen going to school this morning seemed to be dressed as superheroes or Disney princesses.

>>6961
Carpet-bagger.

https://fairytale.ink/book/grimms-fairy-tales

>>6961
>Parents spend more on outfits than they do on novels
That's not really surprising. Clothes are expensive, books are not.

IT'S YOUR BRAIN WORMS. THEY GET OUT AT NIGHT AND HAVE A GOOD WRIGGLE IN ORDER TO GET OXYGENATED. IT HELPS YOUR MIND STAY ACTIVE.

You didn't take your makeup off.

Stop leaving your jizz in there during the night, mate. It's unhygienic

>>426187

Not sure jizz is supposed to look like that.

>>426182

Bingo. Your prize is the illustrious chair picture.

>>62673
I think Grayling might have tried to shag her, but being so incompetent he got his cock stuck in her ear.

>>62673
How do you square your conspiracy theory with the BBC's decision to write and prominently feature a story on nothing but Grayling's "record of mishaps and mistakes"?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47419505

>>62675
Deflecting the blame from the government solely onto failing grayling.

>>62669
>£33M HERE, £13.7M THERE, EVENTUALLY IT'LL START TO ADD UP.

P&O Ferries is suing the government over its £33m settlement with Eurotunnel, in the latest controversy over the Department for Transport’s fraught no-deal Brexit preparations.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/apr/26/po-sues-over-33m-eurotunnel-payout-in-brexit-ferry-fiasco

>>63168
>P&O
>P 'nd O
>Pee 'nd Ohh
>PaedO

They 'ferry' children into international waters, where the laws of man don't apply.

>>10779

This looks delicious.

>>10785

The I was going to make a clever post about how their sugar, as in actual glucose, is made out of corn but that hit a little too close to the truth and now I feel sad.

>>10783
>"We planned to top the pizzas with actual garbage but by judging to our findings people will probably eat those too"

>"Dr Mores said he had initially had moral issues with conducting the tests on humans but has since come to see the subjects as 'cheese and sauce consuming beasts' "

>"In international news; the equivalent of 5 americans were killed in Afghanistan today"

At first I thought it was an advertisement for Dominoes until I noticed 'The Onion' logo. I'd forgotten about that site.

You either end up with undercooked pizza or burnt Quorn.

>>12994

At least the "meat" on this isn't going to be a load of barbecue-flavoured floor sweepings with seams of Transglutaminase. That shit is enough to make a bloke go veggie.