Thanks for the many suggestions, lads. Some of them are a bit too high-brow for the occasion, and given we'll be stoned in a hot tub when we watch, I'm not sure a foreign-language movie is our best bet either. I've given them all a look-see and try to get a better idea of the vibe with the wife.

>>23959
Cat People may end up being the one just based on Giorgio Moroder's involvement.

I just did a quick Google and it turns out movies4men was actually more action-focused, not the softcore porn channel that I was remembering. Anyone remember the name of the movie channel on Sky that showed all those low-budget softcore porn movies about a woman fancying her gardener? It was right down there with the Horror Channel (pic related, a few mates and I had a late one watching Rawhead Rex piss on a priest on the Horror Channel when we were about 17 and it's stuck with me). I know Men & Motors, but I'm sure there was another one.

>>23964

Bravo?

>>23964
I dunno, maybe skip the movie and focus on the pool/slide action?

>>23964
Channel 5? I'm afraid I can't give you a genuine answer; I was too busy watching all those "documentaries" following groups of friends getting really drunk on nights out, because I am a patrician intellectual.

>>23965
>>23967
No, it was definitely something a lot less memorable than that, and it was buried deep in the movies section. It's gonna bug me for ages.

>>69542

I think the natural variation from fanny to fanny outweighs the deviation of smoking and non-smoking on the same fanny.

in a controlled double blind test, I don't think you could reliably tell smoker fanny from non-smoker fanny.

>>69546
I bet you'd be able to whiff smoke before you even tasted anything.

>>69544
My piss smells and tastes distinct when I smoke regularly.

>>69542
I went down on a chain smoking woman, and her fanny wasn't particularly unpleasant. Kissing was another matter, like kissing an ash tray. Luckily I was also a smoker at this time, and had no issue with the taste of stale fags.

>>69553
Guess she didn't either.

>>69550
There is something very doleful about a double-decker. If they were a dog, they wouldn't bark but just lick you to death.

>>30992

I'm sure I'm repeating what others have said already but it doesn't sound like sociopathy, more something stemming from trauma maybe. Sociopathy isn't about being a loner, it's about a callous disregard and using of the people who you are around. I suspect sociopaths aren't worried about being sociopaths.

>>30993
>I'm sure I'm repeating what others have said
Yeah, i didn't really add much to the thread did i? Thanks for the response, i guess i was just complaining again.

>>30994
Maybe people would like you more if you could capitalise 'i'. I know this is emo but come the fuck on.

You just lack confidence in who you are as a person, probably suffer from being a schizoid and antisocial personality disorder like everyone else on the internet. Just accept who you are and learn to live the life that suits you best, plenty of schizoids still manage long-term relationships. I think women even treat it as a given that their man might spend most of his free-time alone.

Unless you really want to be surrounded by people from some perverse masochism in which case ditch the internet and get yourself a tropical wife.

>>30995
>Maybe people would like you more if you could capitalise 'i'
I'll admit I think I'm the cause of perhaps 90% of 'i' complaints across britfa.gs. Since a child I've wondered why anyone would think themselves important enough to capitalise it. I suppose you could comment that it's in effect a name so it should be capitalised, but it still feels weird to make the claim.

>>30996
>Since a child I've wondered why anyone would think themselves important enough to capitalise it.

You are important enough to capitalise it.

>>69520
Anotherlad here, but yeah, even 10 years leaves a huge culture gap between people nowadays, I'm in my mid 30s and have yet to come across a lass in their 20s who isn't over some sort of issue, and more importantly, has the same sort of cultural relations or framework that I grew up with. After dating and a couple of shags, there's nothing in common left. Makes me wonder about all these guys in their 60s who go get a Thai bride who rinse them of their money, apart from the occasional shag, what do they get? You wouldn't be able to chat with them about the Bay City Rollers being fucked over by their boss, or pit closures, or freddos being a marker for inflation.

>>69521
Addendum

Fucking alpaca cunt evading justice for 4 years. Should've capped the twat immediately. No sympathy.

>>69521

>even 10 years leaves a huge culture gap between people nowadays

Play up to it. For young women with absent fathers, going out with a man who has a vinyl collection and knows how to do woodwork is basically a protracted roleplay scenario. Pretending to be young and cool looks completely pathetic, but being mature and self-assured goes down a treat.

>>69521
>HAVE YET TO COME ACROSS A LASS IN THEIR 20S WHO ISN'T OVER SOME SORT OF ISSUE

There is a whole industry around telling people in their 20's that they have some sort of issue. Learning to ignore it is part of the challenge of being an adult.

>>69523

You're not wrong, in that women seek out older men usually for their maturity, for the fact that they have their shit together, and that they are just a lot more secure in their own personality. And, well, let's not kid ourselves, also a bit because as a middle-aged man, you tend to be more financially stable than in your 20s. A crippling divorce that will leave some men almost penniless notwithstanding.

What I can say about life in your 40s is that you have come to accept yourself, and you no longer try to be somebody just to fit in or please people around you. You feel like you are what you are, and whoever doesn't like it can go sod themselves.

On the other hand, being 40 and trying to act 25 is just sad, and it also isn't what a certain kind of woman who is into older blokes is looking for. They don't want a manchild who refuses to grow up. And why shag a 40 year old who is pretending to be 25, when you can shag an actual strapping 25-year-old lad in the first place. That isn't to say that some residual youthfulness at 40 won't go a long way. If you are 40 and you are fat, bald, grey and just worn out by life, then trying to get the attention of 25 year olds will be a losing proposition. But if you keep in good nick, watch your weight and get your exercise, then that's definitely a plus.

I'm still not sure I would go that route. Ten or fifteen years age difference, as >>69521 lad said, means there is going to be a huge cultural gap between you, and I am not sure how you would bridge it. It's not just that a 25 year old will have no concept of your favourite Britpop bands from back in the day. The whole way of thinking is bound to be vastly different in ways you can't even imagine while casually fantasizing about bonking a younglass.

>>94453
>It's basically an elected monarch and some nobles at the national level
I think of American politics more like a council of village elders who never change, but every four years you get to decide what colour ties they wear. And the village is obsessed with ties so that's all they ever see and don't notice that nothing ever changes.

>>94453

>No wonder they can't walk anywhere, they're probably traumatised without even knowing it.

Not traumatised, patronised. Capitalism is the problem with America, in short. Or to be more precise, perhaps, consumerism.

The unique thing about America, really, when you cut it to the bone and compare it to every other developed country, is that every single aspect of a human being's life in the United States is commodified. Every single little aspect of the human experience is a product, whatever human feeling or action you can imagine, there's something to buy and sell for it. America is the only country in the world where you can imagine some grubby businessman trying to marketise the air you breathe, and instead of a dystopian satire, conclude "Yeah, that's quite plausible actually."

I mean, we're not that far off, but in America it's truly pervasive, because the country is built on the foundational principle that that's exactly how things should be. They don't walk because they're encouraged not to- The car industry wants every penny it can make out of the population, so cars are woven into the very fabric of everyday life. They're not a vehicle to Americans, they're an essential appliance like your fridge or your central heating.

There's a lot of examples that'll come to mind if you start thinking about it. Their mad dentistry has already been brought up. Americans always use tumble driers, even when they live in the fucking desert- They simply never even think about putting clothes out to dry, because they've been sold a product to do it. If you watch telly in the states and sit through the adverts, it's mental. Even religious redemption is a product you can buy.

>>94457
>They don't walk because they're encouraged not to- The car industry wants every penny it can make out of the population, so cars are woven into the very fabric of everyday life

IIRC, there are parts of America where the motor industry bought out bus and tram companies to deliberately run them into the ground. They're also the reason they have the crime of jaywalking, to shift the perception of responsibility if someone gets run over from the car and driver to the pedestrian.

>>94458

America, as is usually the case, is the extreme example. But roughly the same pattern occurred here to a lesser extent.

To my knowledge the only country with a system of governance anything like the US which hasn't suffered a coup is the US itself. Everywhere else the specific system of checks and balances between the legislature and the executive which seems to be fellated by americans and a certain kind of non-american leads not to some desirable system of liberal, responsible, hands-off governance, but to the president and the congress deadlocking (each claiming legitimacy from the electorate) until one side goes "bugger this" and gets on the phone to the army to shell the other lot. (Unlike in Westminster systems which resolve this using the crazy idea of having the PM call a snap election or having parliament hold a vote of confidence, leading either to a new government or a snap election. Or European systems which are their own odd thing.)

There's an incredible gulf between the quality of outcomes their system generates (no coups yet, but the government still shuts down every so often in a ridiculous piece of political theatre) and the reputation it has. (Maybe cargo culting around the fact it happens to be used by a global superpower, even if it is one who'd do much better to scrap their entire system of government and steal Australia's.)

There's a very high chance that if it's a PhD studentship at some institution you have no connection with, they've already had someone lined up internally (or via a collaborator) for the project, and are just advertising the position because policy says they have to. Truthfully, this is how the majority of academic positions are generated and filled. A lot of institutions do have a waiver process for the advertisements, but they'd rather not bother using it because it's more work for them than just ignoring anyone who applies -- honestly the fact that you got an email at all is surprising.

I've been on both ends of this schtick myself, and in fact I currently am waiting on a contract "offer" for a job that was decided on months ago.

Have you considered striking up a conversation with a specific academic? Even if you apply for something on FindaPhD.com, it's best to email your CV over to the academic directly in addition, and establish yourself as a real person. Otherwise, just finding someone whose research interests match what you want to do, and then outright emailing them to see if they have funding for a student (or could get funding) is a much better tactic, and much more agreeable for academics as people than the more formal application processes.

Shit one that you've been blanked, mate, but they're practically giving PhDs away these days so I'm sure you'll find something.

>>6438

Just from curiosity, if what you're saying applies directly here, what are the odds that any of the things I sent never actually crossed the eyes of either of the supervisors?

>>6439
If they're not entertaining applicants because they've designed the entire project with a student in mind - as is often the case - then the odds they didn't see your application at all are fairly high, though a lot of them will look anyway even though they've verbally committed to taking on a particular student.

My PhD was one of those. I approached the lecturer as he was new and I knew that my uni had programmes for new staff to get funding for students to help establish their research, and we had been in communication about it for about a year before the formal studentship was posted online. I'm fairly sure that him getting the funding in the first place was contingent on having an appropriate student lined up, which makes the university policy of advertising even more stupid.

The informal route is best in academia, especially for junior positions like studentships and postdocs. If you thought you were a good candidate for the group you applied for, there's no harm in emailing the PI directly with a copy of your CV and expressing your interest, they may have some funding somewhere else, or they may seek some out on the basis that they have a student and project in mind.

>>445723
That's an absolutely excellent example of the genre.

>>445724

"It's a pity people coudnae just come in, gie you £40 and piss off" is peak grumpy landlord.

Years and years ago there was hysteria about deep vein thrombosis and it was always in the news but you never hear about it at all these days.

>>445727
I fully agree with this sentiment. 90% of the public are cunts when they've had a drink, which is an increase on 85% when they haven't.

Honestly nothing better than turning the telly and music off and sitting down with a pint without any shoes on after putting up with knobheads for 12 hours solid.

Never worked in a club before, but I can imagine that your dealings with the public are primarily serving booze and then people having blazing rows over the change from a fiver because they can't understand pound a pint doesn't extend to expensive brandies, but with none of the in-between of the mind numbing, inane shite people insist on sharing every single day that you get in a pub, just pulling pints and telling thickos they don't understand promotions.

>>445976

That's just because none of us are flying in planes anymore...

>>8936
>I have been informed that getting multiple mortgages in principle is a bad idea; it fucks your credit rating right up.

Depends on the detail the perform. Most will advertise the fact they don't do a credit check and just do what amounts to some fag-packet maths on what you give them for income and expenditure etc. you can always ask first if unsure but I know Barclays offers a 10 minute response.

Mortgages in principle aren't binding, can be extended and it's based on you so if you have an offer of x amount you can use it for browsing elsewhere.

>I'm the invisible man and have only ever made one credit card purchase ever and the only regular payments I make are a £15 phone contract, so that could count against me and it's making me worried

Banking-lad may have some insights but honestly this stuff is black magic if you ask me. It might be worth opting for a more detailed check anyway just to know for sure before you make any offers on a house. At any rate for future reference:

1. You can use your credit card online you' know, just set it to pay off every month to dodge interest.
2. There's a do-dad you can do with your landlord where the rent you pay is recorded. Google it.
3. £15 is well expensive.

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>8937
I assume that when you sell a house, you sign an agreement that if the house sells at all, the estate agent gets the commission. But then some houses are being sold by multiple estate agents. In any case, this particular house has nobody living in it; it was rented out previously and the tenants have moved out so the landlord, landlady, landfamily, whatever, are selling it.

>>8938
Thank you so much for your assistance so far. I found something on MoneySavingExpert which might be a good mortgage for me (no initial fees, available from a bank that's near the house I want, costs about the same as all the others from what I can tell) and it performs a "soft credit check", which seems to be a credit check that totally counts, but is invisible and therefore doesn't count. If I trusted banks at all, I might be able to infer more information, but alas they are rattlesnakes so I'm left to my own devices.

>Have you ever known someone working sales who wasn't a thick twat?
There are plenty of people, including myself when I was younger, who are just shit at finding a proper job and wind up doing these things temporarily. But this estate agent, which is called [Company Name] Homes, replied to my email and didn't sign it with a name, and even wrote "[Company Name] Hoes" instead, like they deal in prostitutes or garden tools. I laughed for hours before remembering I need them for probably the most important transaction of my life.

I've just applied for a mortgage in principle aaaaaaaagghhhhhh

My strategy was to get this sorted tonight and then reply to the email and hopefully get in before anyone else offers the actual advertised price. TSB said they'd do it in 20 minutes. I blazed through it, handed over all my details so they can check me and wonder if I'm an undercover spy from Turkmenistan with no dependents or other loans, and the very last page said, "Thank you; one of our friendly agents will contact you within 48 hours."

Now I'm really wondering if it was the brilliant idea I thought it was to smash a triple measure of neat gin before I started this.

>>8941

The most surprising part of this post is that anyone on .gs measures their gin. Good luck with the mortgage, potentialhomeownerlad.

>>69474
It is normal, and you're right. It is the most over-rated drug. It's useful for two things - if you're feeling very drunk, a quick line and you get right back to normal, secondly, it makes everyone talk, particularly women.

>>69477

I USED TO THINK COKE WAS OVER-RATED TOO, BUT THEN I REALISED THAT AS YOU GET OLDER, THOSE TWO SPECIFIC QUALITIES ARE EXACTLY WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT IT. I HAVE NOTICED THAT PEOPLE TEND TO GET MUCH MORE INTROVERTED AND RESERVED AS THEY AGE, NOT TO MENTION YOUR TOLERANCE FOR LONG DRINKING SESSIONS STARTS TO WANE, SO WHAT WAS ONCE OVER-RATED BECOMES A LEGITIMATE WONDER DRUG.

FOR ONLY £60 AND THE MORAL WEIGHT OF KNOWING YOU'RE A DIRTY DRUG PUSHER, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR GROUP OF MID-30S WORK MATES OUT, PASS A BAG AROUND, AND SHOW THEM THE KIND OF NIGHT OUT THEY HAVEN'T HAD SINCE THEIR FIRST YEAR OF UNI.

I LOVE DRUGS ME.

>>94421

Borland Database Engine.

>>94420
>A statement from clubnight, Pipe, said: "Thanks to all the amazing people, and Michael Gove..."
Brilliant.

>>94420

Good to see that Gove is handling his divorce with dignity.

TBH I wouldn't be surprised if this was some sort of guerilla marketing campaign to put people off going to nightclubs.

>>94420
Apparently he tried to get out of paying the entry fee by saying he's the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster.

This is his attempt at creating a 'Boris' style public persona, isn't it? GOVEY, WHAT A LEDGE.

>>94425
There's absolute no way that any reasonable human being wouldn't/shouldn't attempt to get away with skipping a five quid entry fee by using that particular aspect of their arsenal.

"But mate, I'm a knight of the realm, can you give us 2 for a fiver"

Awonga, you say?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80yq9pJ8D4w

>>69444

Are you basing that on the fact he used to be called Fagottron or something else?

>>69440
It's to have a good time.

>>69449
> I’m going to be totally straight up with you… I came up with Fagottron because I’ve always had a very thorough dislike of homosexuals

Yes, basically. He's undeniably in terms of his musical ability, but I don't think I'd ever want to meet the guy.

>>69451

I don't know anything about this bloke other than these videos that have been posted, but if his music is mostly based on sampling fucking disney princesses, then I think he doth protest too much.

>>69434

>>69435
He's checking for weapons. You never know where these naked ladies might be hiding them.

SHE'S TOP TIER VIRTUE SIGNAL
BEATS THAT HAIRY FANNIED BREXIT MENTALIST THOUGH

>>69434
Why has she got a sticker on her smallpox scar?

>>69447

Dunno. Can't imagine she's vain or anything.

>>4625

>Really? Has the market gone up in the last couple of years since I bought a car?

Yes, quite brutally. The cars I bought two or three years ago are worth about 20% more than when I bought them, which is something I've never seen happen before.

>>4627
I know a few people who have bought a car on finance, made the balloon payment because it's less than they'd be able to sell the car on for due to prices going up, made a bit of profit and then got another car on finance.

>>4628

Yeah, my friend did that - he made about six grand profit on a PCP Mercedes, the mind boggles.

I know this is the wrong thread for this, but similarly if you bought a Rolex in 2018 you'd be fucking laughing now. It's not even just that the prices have shot up, you simply can't walk into a shop and buy one right now. And I'm sure we all know about graphics cards etc.

I wonder if this stuff will have any noticable effect on the economy in the medium term.

>>4629
There's a watch shop in Whitby with lots of Rolexs for sale in the window, if you can put up with the crowds.

>>4630

There's definitely some Rolexes for sale right now, but new ones are on back order, particularly the big hitters like submariners and GMTs.

Anyway I don't really want one - all luxury watches are a bit overpriced, but a Rolex these days you're paying upwards of 8 or 9 grand just for the badge, on top of what the watch should actually go for. I'll stick with the merely moderately ludicrous Omega pricing instead.

I've just seen part of an American news report on Afghanistan. I didn't realise they said "Islom" and "Islomic".

>>32208
How else would one refer to the religion of the Tauhlibauhn?

>>32208
They even say mom.

>>32208
It's clearly K'bull, too. Not Carble. Stop saying Carble; there's no way it's pronounced like that.

I'd like to complain about there, their and they're. Lately I keep making the same typos and it's making me look unedumacated. If I had access to the word filter I'd switch them to upset people.

>>25045
Aldi had them for £230 last Black Friday and I believe Tesco did the same, but I could have sworn that they were cheaper than that before prices shot up due to lockdown anyway.

>>25044
I absolutely remember Argos having an offer in April because I budgeted for it. They were immediately out of stock because they'd all been bought up by scalpers and then sold for considerable mark-ups. Same story on Amazon where retailers were sold out and all you could get were scalpers or companies in HK where you'd be waiting for months if it arrives at all.

Then I realised that there's nothing on the Switch I'd want to play that couldn't be bought for my laptop and I have no use for a portable device.

>>25046
What is going on here? Why is the mascot for Black Friday a Christmas carrot? Why is L I K E the most important word in that copy?

>>25048
I can't explain the LIKE - maybe they're saying you will LIKE their bargains? Pretty pisspoor if so - but Kevin the Carrot has been Aldi's Christmas mascot since 2016, and Black Friday is considered the start of the Christmas shopping season.

https://www.aldi.co.uk/kevin

Laddo has bought a Switch. I forgot how expensive Nintendo games are because they rarely go down in price.

>>27972
As you're that big, you should really try some out first. I would spend the money with these guys, have used them, and if you're lucky one of their stores is near you.

https://www.backinaction.co.uk

I've recently stopped using my Aeron and now use a Varier kneeling stool, or have the desk at standing height. I know this is heresy.

>>27972

The Size B and C Aerons are suitable for users up to 158kg. You'll probably want the Size C, which has a generous amount of extra width.

>>27973
Unfortunately all those shops are in the SARF. My arse isn't wider than any standard office chair I've sat on so far, but it's close. I intend to lose the weight again (I lost 35kg 2014-2016 and kept most of it off until 2019), but I've been saying that, well, since 2019. Anyway, that's a conversation for /emo/ and /fat/.

I'll have a hunt round ebay and the like and see if there are any local.

>>27975
Well, it went from 'starting to go' to 'gone' in short order. Since I need to work I went to the local furniture recycler and got a standard office chair dealie for £40 delivered. It's fine.

Someone's been listening to my phone calls - only today i was complaining about this standing desk.

>>6373
Only issues I've heard about with seikos is that the SKXs (now discontinued) had been having problems with misaligned dials.

>>6374
>Also you can get some really nice after-market leather straps so don't rule anything out just because of the strap it comes with.

That is a very good point, especially as I read something the other day that said you should always change the strap when you buy a watch so if you sell it on you can put the original back on to make it look in mint condition.

>>6375

I did see one of the more prominent (well, everything is relative) watch youtubers complaining about Seiko quality control in regards to the new lines of Seiko 5's.

However, I'd not let it put you off, provided you can be arsed to return a watch if you're not happy with it. I find watches are one of the easiest things to either have fixed under warranty, replaced or refunded with basically no drama - watch retailers are usually passionate about the products so understand the concerns, and everyone else is a megaretailer who has automated, no questions asked returns policies, backed up by the distance selling regulations.

It's a shame they seem to have been having issues, though, Seiko are perhaps my favourite watch brand.

What do you lads think of the Casio duro watch? It's about £50 on Amazon but it'd have to be imported from America as it isn't sold here. My main concern is it looks massive.

>>6378 here again.

I saw one in an antique shop earlier today for about £40. They are indeed fucking massive.

>>445686
My girlfriend bought a revolving spice rack but she insists on having it right in the corner of the kitchen, meaning you can't actually turn it unless you pick up the rack and move it elsewhere. We've also got more spice jars than will fit in the rack so there's at least a dozen of them lined up on the wall next to it.

>>445689
That's strange, I don't remember writing this post.

And the bloody revolving spice rack came with its own bottles, which have really awkward lids which never feel quite flush with the groove.

Is there any real point to air freshener or is it closer to snake oil with the whole "nose blind" scaremongering advertising campaigns? I think I've only really been to one house that had a bad smell to it and that's because my friend is a bit of a slob.

>>445920
Plug-in and continuous 'fresheners' are far fouler than any house I've ever been in. Nasty fucking things.

>>445920

It's all bollocks. I find a strong "pleasant" smell just as offensive as a strong unpleasant one. Ideally you want a room to just be smell neutral.

I throw the windows open for a couple of hours every week to let air circulate through, and occasionally go around with a squirt of febreeze after I've tidied up. If I don't do anything the whole flat starts to smell of cooking because we don't have an extractor in the kitchen, but you shouldn't need to do much more than that.

If you smoke in the house and have carpets you're fighting a losing battle, so just don't bother. Only smoke in rooms that have laminate or finished wood flooring, there's less for the smell to stick to then.