>>62154

You can't get into a cunt off with her because she doesn't answer questions.

>>62165
She'd fit right in, then.

>>62166
Isn't she a woman though? I thought we agreed no more women.

>>62167

It's a one in, one out sort of deal, and I think the last one left after the insidious actual maritime issues, so we'll be alright.

>>62168
I think the problem is that we've got too many philosophers. According to the ancient Greeks the gods created woman as a punishment for man.

>>26945

/iq/ is a sfw board so that's probably it was deleted.

>>26945

You ballsed it up lad, it's .org that's been goatsed.

I have a list of favorite defacements as long as a very long cock, but I shall choose not to incriminate myself at this moment in time.

You all realise this isn't to do with thick people, it's to do with not wanting to get sued?

>>62157
Has there ever been a case of someone successfully Suing someone else because they were injured using a toaster and felt that they should have been properly trained to use it?

As with a lot of things that happen in this country, it seems based on what someone has assumed might happen when the reality is that they've just pulled it out of their arse. "We must do X or we might get sued" should read "I think we should do X because I'm afraid we might get sued, based on nothing other than irrational fear convincing me that it's plausible enough to happen".

We do live in a compo culture, but a lot of what happens is the "won't someone think of the children?" equivalent.

>>62158
>WHAT SOMEONE HAS ASSUMED MIGHT HAPPEN

The curse of the risk assessment.

>>62158

>HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CASE OF SOMEONE SUCCESSFULLY SUING SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE THEY WERE INJURED USING A TOASTER AND FELT THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN PROPERLY TRAINED TO USE IT?

PROBABLY NOT, BUT IT'S A LOT CHEAPER TO PRINT OFF SOME POSTERS THAN TO EVER FIND OUT.

Health and safety as a workplace practice is to minimise risk, be it risk of someone hurting themselves, damaging property, and so on. The threat of 'we might get sued' might be a minimal one like you say, but it's entirely plausible (have you had an accident at work that wasn't your fault? no win no fee) so having a clear SOP built into every single thing that is done at your workplace is an effective way to defend against that, while also simply informing everyone.

It might seem ridiculous, to us but as others have pointed out, there's probably a lot of none-british working in these places who might realistically have never used a toaster. Bear in mind most Americans have never used an electric kettle, so I'd not be surprised if Romanians all grill their bread instead of having a separate unit for it.

>>62158

Undoubtedly. Toasters are a surprisingly common cause of electrocution and fire. Even a relatively minor fire can cause chaos in a hospital due to the difficulty of organising a safe evacuation.

>>16820

Well my parents used to say that I would either be a firefighter or an arsonist when I grew up, because I seemed to have a pretty noticeable fixation on fire and explosions as a little kid.

I even managed to light a Mickey Mouse book on fire in the waste bin in my bedroom. It's been over 30 years, but everytime I go to my parents' house, there's still my old waste basket in my old room, slightly wonky on one side from the heat of the burning paper in it.


Sage for not being relevant to this thread in any conceivable way.

>>16822

So which one did you end up being?

Pretty much any surface that a number of different people will touch during a day will turn out to be massively unsanitary and crawling with germs if you really examine it.

I try to limit my exposure to other people's pathogens by trying to avoid such surfaces. Or washing my hands after touching them.

For example, one thing I always do is when I've ordered something by post and I have to sign for it, I wash my hands afterwards. That stylus with which you have to sign your name on the screen of that handheld thing the delivery lad carries has to be completely covered in all kinds of muck. And it will literally go through dozens of hands every day, very likely without ever getting a proper clean.

I also avoid eating the peanuts that you always get in a little bowl for everybody at parties or in a bar or what-have-you. I think somebody actually did a petri dish test once on some communal peanuts like that and found all sorts of things from flu viruses to faecal bacteria on them. Which kind of makes it even worse than a poo smeared touchscreen at McD. Well, unless you lick that screen from top to bottom.

>>16824

I always press the pelican crossing button, and things like that, with my knuckle. I make sure and get door handles halfway down my fingers. I push doors by making a fist first. Then if I need to rub my eye or something, my fingertips haven't been violated. I use antibacterial gel when I get back in.

The last time I got flu coincided with someone thrusting a communal pen into my hand before I could get my own pen out. Now if I expect to have to sign something I have my own pen ready. I only get flu about every five years or so.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jan/06/how-not-to-catch-the-norovirus

>>16826

I've thought about just keeping my own stylus ready next to the door so that when I take delivery of a package, I won't have to mess with deliverylad's stylus.

But I guess I'm still a bit more worried I'll look like a cunt because of it than I am worried I'll catch some germs off it.

So I will probably just keep washing my hands thoroughly in the bathroom everytime I've signed for a package.

>>62138

I think she looks a bit like Mr. Burns in a wig.

Tension at g20 summit when it transpires there is only one bottle of water left.

Trump offers May a second pearl neckless.

>>62142
Winner winner, chicken dinner.

>>27924
There's also drivers who don't seem to know how to use their handbrake, so they wear their clutches out by slipping it and revving their engines every time they stop.

Some car headlights are just too fucking bright.

>>27941
Typically they're compensating for the driver.

>>27924
If a driver revs their engine while I'm crossing I go back and stand in front of their car until the lights go red again.

I think someone has been in my car last night, judging by the glovebox being open and things from there and the compartment next to the gearbox being on the floor. I suppose it was inevitable, having a car that tucks in the wing mirrors when it is locked and a scatterbrained girlfriend who doesn't always remember to lock the car. At least there was nothing for them worth pinching.

>>26938
Not him, but something something anonymous imageboard.

Fucking hell, lads. We should just stop trying to interact with each other. Look what happens when we do.

>>26941
We're .gs users, and therefore hardwired for cunt-offs.

>>26941

If only we had some sort of website we could post in, to talk to each other anonymously. That would solve a lot of our problems.

>>26943
Talking to each other is the source of all our problems.

>>62108
Christ I'd almost forgotten this one, what a blast from the past.

>>62109

I actually don't own a television and have not been watching live programming for at least 10 years.

>>62110

I've got an old CRT in a box I haven't looked at since 2008. Ditto for my skybox and freeview box. I have an RF modulator so reckon I could get it working. I'd have to retune everything. The digital switchover has happened in the meantime.

>>62111

I've been looking for a CRT for a while, I wanted one for playing retro games on but so does every other cunt these days so they actually cost a fair bit when you spot a good one on ebay.

I was rather salty when I found out my parents have thrown out the one I had as a lad. As well as all my fucking space marines the bastards, i knew they didn't love me

>>62112

I've got a bank of four black and white Sony monitors, only cost me a tenner

>>16765
I still remember that time I took out three pigeons.

>>16765
One time, in the Galapagos islands, I was feeling pretty backed up. The hostel was busy and I hadn't had a suitable opportunity to relieve myself. I'd taken the boat over to Espanola for the day. I arrived, and started to explore. Soon I found a colony of Blue-footed boobies. Although I wasn't sexually attracted to them, the combination of their name and my current situation just drove me wild. I had to nip into the bushes to quell myself. So there I was, having a grand old time, but the trouble was, the birds there have no predators, and so had no fear of me. A few waddled over to see what I was up to, but I was in full flow, I couldn't stop. It was like an oil slick. A week's worth of white oil, all over their feathers. I put the old beagle away and snuck off to look at the Albatrosses.

>>16769

Don't be such a tit

>>16769

I once actually knocked over a bird cage with my ex's birds in it while we were passionately making love on her sofa in the livingroom. At some point in the heat of passion, my leg somehow went off one end of the sofa and hit the cage stand with the cage on it which she kept near the sofa with a pair of budgies in it. The birds survived the fall unharmed, but probably got the scare of their lives.

And no, we did not resume our bonking. Not right away anyway.

>>16776
It's always ends in tears when you invite other birds into the bedroom.

>>4712
>>4713
> Diddl tack
It sounds like some kind of coefficient of diddling. Perhaps measuring how good she is at being diddled, or how much she was diddled as a child, or predilection to diddling herself.

>>4711
WHAT WOULD DIANA SAY?!

>>4716

I see viscous white liquid spurting out of a bellend.

It was Peter Griffin all along.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46431818

>>4718
hahaha - I thought the exact same thing when I saw the picture.

>>62130
Not all of us can afford a jenny to power a fridge to keep our foie gras cool in poshlad

>>62128
I see packed rice but there's not a trace of teabags and hobnobs. They might survive ITZ but will they consider it a blessing or a curse?

If you're going to prepare for itz then you need at least 200 packets of beanfeast Bolognese. Bloody amateurs.

>>62133
I'll take my chances outside, with the cannibals, if it's all the same to you.

>>62133
>Serves 2

Has a crueller lie ever been spoken?

Aldi's do a ripoff version that are exactly the same, but they're bigger and don't have as much of a 'stale' wafer texture.

>>62122
Then they aint the same m8.

>>62122

The Aldi knockoff is too light, it's just a Blue Riband with a bit of caramel. A Caramel Wafer is supposed to be chewy and dense.

>>62125
By the Old Gods and the New I hate Blue Riband. It's almost approaching the kind of austerity I actually quite like in a sweet, but it's actually just shit.

I think I might lose the will to live if anything happened to Tunnock's.

>>8754
Robbed. Fury is not human.

>>27760

Look at how clean their PPE is, they're obviously management.

>>27763
They fact that they even have their PPE on and so clean means they're probably Management. Cunts.

This advert has come with baffling clip-art every time I've seen it.

>>27819

Although it taught me you oughtn't pelt apples at ice-skaters because that's what happened in the top image from the looks of it.

For victims of rickets.

>>62115
Only for shouting his mouth off on telly when he's on shaky ground. Not for buying one.

Who the fuck knew you could drive a minibus in London bus lanes?

>>27820

> It's incredibly tiring being around her because quite literally everybody hits on her,

I've had a girlfriend or two like that before. The red flag is if she automatically flirts back almost on auto pilot. That's my cue to fucking leg it out of there immediately.

>>27825

>The red flag is if she automatically flirts back almost on auto pilot.

I briefly dated a lass like that for a few months. When we were in a pub together, guys would hit on her all the time and even though she tried her best to conceal it, she really quite often flirted right back at them, with me within earshot or even right next to her. When I called her on it, she usually rolled her eyes and told me I was making myself look like an arse and that she was "just being nice".

She kept doing it and I kept complaining to her about it, so in the end we just went our separate ways again. She was no keeper, and apparently neither was I to her.

Sage for derailing the thread with my own nonsense.

>>27825
>>27826

> Sage for derailing the thread with my own nonsense.

I hope we're not derailing the thread exactly. It is a massive red flag because if he's auto-pilot flirting with other guys with you sitting right there (and feeling trapped half way between storming off in a huff and ramming a pint glass into this other cunt's face), imagine what she's doing when you're not around.

I could tell you some stories about numbers and texts from people I'd never heard of, hurriedly hidden skype windows and all the rest but I won't because that would be derailing the thread.

>>27827

Yes, I suppose there's "being nice", and there is actually making your boyfriend look bad and still feeling the need to gauge your appeal with other men.

"Being nice" is more like, "Thanks for offering me a drink, but I'm not sure my boyfriend here will be all to happy about it". And not, "You like my blue eyes you say? That's so cool, because yours look pretty handsome as well!"

OP is in a bit of a pickle here, granted. In the long run, he should ask himself if there isn't a third option for him. There should be plenty of lasses where he lives, who aren't half a world away but also don't put out when they are out with their fella.

Bin off your job, get on a plane and go and wreck her dirtbox. Life's too short.

>>3467

I suspect you're lonely because you're such a repellent cunt.

>>3467

I've got to admit you've lost me with that particular non-sequitur there, ladm80.

>>3468
I think that unlikely, since I'd have to meet people first.

>>3469
Alright ignore it. I didn't mean girls and fleeting relationships anyway, I mean social circles in general. Support networks. People to have a beer with.

>>3471

> I mean social circles in general. Support networks. People to have a beer with.

Isn't that what was basically described in post >>3466 ?

Just because a person is female doesn't mean you can't be friends and definitely doesn't mean you can't penetrate (ahem) her social circle.

>>16680

Theories?
Everything is bigger in Australia.
Spiders, Birds and so on. no surprise the Cows have got in on the action.

>>16682

When humans grow extremely tall, it can be caused by a benign adenoma (tumour) on the pituitary gland which then produces excess growth hormones. The condition is called gigantism and can lead to body heights well in excess of 7ft.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gigantism

Maybe cows can get it as well.

>>16678
At the risk of repeating what literally everyone else on the internet has already said, that steer is an absolute moonit.

>>16695

Kind of a moo-t point you are making.


I'll get my coat.

>>5548
Looks very nice. I imagine a bit spendy though.

>>16623
If someone wants to go to a tabloid with an account of how their dad gave them a demonstration on the proper way to perform oral sex on a woman then I guess that's their prerogative.

>>16624

There seems to be a double standard that I don't fully understand. The tabloids frequently use coy phrases like "steamy romp" and "sordid sex act" when they actually mean "had sex" and "wanked off in a Greggs", but they're happy to publish this? I dunno where their line is.

>>16628
I think they're trying to appeal to the Take A Break demographic.

>>16630

Which isn’t difficult.

>>16631

That's genuinely disturbing.