This thread is figuratively shit.

>>69276
No wonder. You've not put nearly enough thought into additional revenue streams. You need to engineer the device to capture the gasses, create an OnlyFans/eBay hybrid where you pair perverts with fart sellers and cream off a healthy cut for yourself.

Tim and Eric had this idea over a decade ago.

https://youtu.be/JfCTj7TGhTQ

>>69284
Ffs purp can you make the auto embed work with youtu.be links?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfCTj7TGhTQ

>>69284
And it was even less funny then considering someone gave them a budget.

>>5317
The Pug-Jack Russell mix eats so loudly it's honestly quite unpleasant, so I'd definitely notice.

>>5319
Not if they fed them sausages when you weren't home.

>>5320
So that's why it kept saying "walls".

>>5320
I don't leave the house.

>>5321
We'll fucking played.

>>14557
Global warming innit. Mr SnowShock is years ahead of his time.

>>14557

It's a running joke at work that I never wear a coat and only drink cold drinks. I am the Ice King and I will drink slush deep into winter. And as >>14558 points out, once the sun really starts to cook the earth in the coming years, you will all be lining up to trade your women and ammunition for a tall cool plastic cup of blue raspberry.

Also the heat generated by the twin compressors when it's running is borderline uncomfortable, I'm sure left on long enough it'll heat my garage up entirely so I can have a tropical winter.

I've always wondered why frozen carbonated beverages have never taken off in this country - apart from Tango Ice Blast, it seems to be unobtanium. I'd jerry-rig my own machine, but pressure vessels give me the fear.

>>14560

I'm with you, a frozen coke is a thing of beauty on a warm day.

>>13374
Polaretti are 99p in Aldi at the minute.

>>27954
That or they're not using it and just put it on the list of ones they posted here to get a response.

>>27955
Which is what I'd assume, considering some people have proven themselves very sensitive to such things on here. And it worked, so good for them.

>>27956
It only took three months but yes.

>>27953

Which one in the list does that?

>>27958

Emoji Now Emoji Keyboard.

>>445250

Explain how visual comparison to entirely undiscovered extra-terrestrial life can be factual.

>>445251

>entirely undiscovered extra-terrestrial life

That is evidently just your opinion.

>>445251

So is it safer at the train station or on the high st on one of those massive bicycle racks?

>>445291

The safest place to park your bike is next to a nicer bike with a worse lock.

The only bicycle locks that will actually stop a half-serious thief are the Kryptonite New York Fahgettaboudit Mini and the Abus Granit X-plus Mini 54. They're genuinely a pain in the arse to get open. Anything else can be popped open in about 15 seconds with a pair of long-handled bolt cutters or a bottle jack.

Some of the beefier motorbike chains will stop a professional thief, but they're hugely expensive and impractically heavy. Cable locks and folding locks are useless, chain locks are surprisingly easy to cut (they give the thief too much room to manoeuvre) and D-locks can only really be trusted if they've got at least a 13mm case-hardened shackle and they're just barely big enough to fit around the bike and post.

Fortunately you don't need to make your bike impossible to steal, just less attractive than the available alternatives. If there are two bikes on the same stand of similar value, a thief will go for the one with the worse lock. If there are two bikes on the same stand with equally good locks, a thief will go for the one with that is easiest to sell.

Making your bike harder to sell at a reasonable price is just as valuable as getting a better lock. Scrape off the decals, file off the brand names on the components, give the frame a really ugly re-spray with a rattle can. If you make your bike less attractive to a random bloke in a pub, you make it less attractive to a thief.

>>5581

That's an interesting hypothetical. If there were a magical alcohol-free scotch that tasted exactly the same, would I drink it?

If it tasted exactly the same, as in, somehow had the alcoholic taste without the other effects like Star Trek synthehol, if anything I would probably drink much more.

I've always liked the idea of having a ritualistic nightcap, but I am an absolute lightweight and would feel awful.

>>5585

You don't want a night cap. It is just a normalisation of alcoholism. Doctors say it actually disrupts the REM cycle, those doctors apparently undervalue what a disruptive fucker acute withdrawal is to sleep.

>>5577

I don't doubt your sincerity in liking it, but the post that provoked my stance was this >>5562 and doubt they were being anything other than pretentious.

>>5583
Two weeks later and I can report that I'm noticeably eating more but also that I've become much more popular on dating apps. The latter is as useful as a chocolate teapot at the moment but it's nice to learn that was the only thing holding me back. Unless Big-Aubergine boosts your profile when you quit.

What's worked for me is keeping score of the days and not wanting to break the streak. Last night I saw a couple smoking cigarettes and calmed the urge to go buy a pack by noting that I was near the two-week mark. Also drumstick squashies taste like shit now that I've stopped smoking.

I quit 7 months ago but now that it's summer the thought of a ciggie is just nice. Truly a horrible time of year, sunny out, benches in pub gardens ripe for sitting on and scantily clad women ripe for chatting to over a cigarette.

They need to invent a tobacco that's perfectly healthy and non-addictive.

>>34814
I know a few art spaces in semi-industrial areas that have people living in them for ... I don't know how long but they always seem to be there.

>>34807

You do need planning permission to convert a commercial property into a residential one, but as of next month it'll be a permitted development right under Class MA.

https://www.planninggeek.co.uk/gpdo/changes-of-use/class-ma/

>>34817
I'm curious how squatting rights intersect with planning rights, and if that's getting abused. If some interest wanted an industrial area turned into a residential development, could they secretly fund a commune to live in that area and "allow" them to build and develop amenities for a decade and then turn around and "buy them out" and go ham because now it's residential?

>>34818

You could in theory, but you wouldn't really need to. The new reforms to the planning system give the presumed right to convert most commercial properties to residential use. Council planning departments have a very short list of grounds to object to such a conversion, otherwise they have to give you permission.

If you wanted to develop on a large scale you'd need to jump through some hoops with regards to transport impacts, your development needs to have natural light in every habitable room, but otherwise there's really nothing they can do to stop you.

I'm currently looking for a suitable light industrial unit to convert, because I've always wanted a house with three-phase power and a loading dock.

>>34821
You're still constrained by building standards, though. If you're planning to build hutches for students, they have to be able to stretch their legs out and express natural behaviours such as shitting in buckets. It's a low bar.

It's going to be fascinating to see some of the horrendous conversions. My local council already (8 years ago?) converted a load of their city centre offices into student hovels in a strange arms-length deal. The conversions done with cardboard, string and piss buckets will be much more fun.
I'm pretty much in favour of it as a plan - have people actually live in city centres again, it's just the implementation that's going to be grim at times.

>Two schoolboys who ambushed a 13-year-old and stabbed him to death after a dispute on social media have been found guilty of murder.

>Olly Stephens suffered fatal stab wounds to his chest and back in a field in Reading, Berkshire, on 3 January. He had been lured there by a girl and was then attacked by two boys carrying knives, Reading Crown Court was told.

>The girl, 14, admitted manslaughter. She will be sentenced with the two boys, also both 14, at a later date.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-57901344

>>34805
>He had been lured there by a girl and was then attacked by two boys

I wonder how many men have been caught in such a trap throughout history. There's no defence.

>>29923

I don't follow the footy, and I'm fucking thick.

>>34805 >>34806
This is why I don't hang out with 14-year-old girls.

>>34810

That's what I don't get about paedos, you should have learned at school that you can't trust women, even when they're kids.

>>9713
I usually watch a women's event as a bit of a teenage tradition. Unfortunately I might give it a miss this year as staying up late to ogle women's abs feels a bit wrong'un.

You can just watch an illegal stream. I imagine they will be called something like 'olympicstreams' possibly using the .me.

>>9720

The Paralympics is always good for a questionable wank.

>>9719
> Some hobby sports are now being picked up as niche events, like climbing and skateboarding.

I tend to enjoy those "niche" competitions a lot more than the more mainstream events as for the first couple of events at least the former tend to fit closer to the modern olympic idea of "amateur athletes" that's been completely lost in the established disciplines. While there's undeniable beauty in seeing athletes perform asymptotically closer to the maximum the human body can achieve, I find more fun and joy in seeing a slightly scrappy performance by people who are quite good and really try hard.

>>9722
The Paralympics is outstanding in every conceivable way. My all-time favourite sporting moment is from the Paralympics (the 200m in London 2012; I forget the name of the disability category but you'll know it when you see it). Also, they're all niche sports; it's the ultimate hipster tournament. Sure, sprinting and hurdles and cycling are pretty generic, but not when you have no legs.

>>6368
>Adidas Gazelle

I don't know anything about dyeing them - but Gazelles are my favourites and I have a few pairs, so definitely into that.

>>9687
>You ever notice how when England does really well at the start we always drop the ball.
If you think that's bad, wait until you notice how when England does really shit at the start they get knocked out.

>>9687
I don’t think getting to the final is that at all. We’re now the second best team in Europe and were fourth at the previous World Cup. I’ll take that any day over the Decade of Misery that England endured from 2006 to 2016, a time during which the team looked clueless on the pitch and off it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBrKxF3bnUY

>>9686
Yeah. He replied to a picture of the, very black, England U17 squad saying 'Coonwatch' and that if he had a racehorse he'd name it 'TooManyCoonsInTheGame'.

>>9687
I have always been of the opinion that England needs to lose a group-stage match to remind them that it is actually possible to lose. They always smash the qualifying stages against Albania and San Marino, to the point where it feels to me like they forget to compete in the actual tournament. They show up under the impression that they have already won, and just trot around like it's a victory lap and that beating Iceland is a foregone conclusion. And then look what always happens.

Then I caught myself and realised I was doing two very strange things. First of all, I had magnified a drawing of an ejaculating penis and some testicles, and some swear words, and had been poring over them for an hour or so, and all in an attempt to smash dolphin rape. There was a decorator in the kitchen. What if he came in and saw what I was doing? How would I explain that this was part of my work and that I was a professional writer, not just someone who enlarged drawings of penises and testicles and sat staring at them all day on a screen while only wearing pants and a T-shirt? Would he recognise what I was doing as a form of “work”?

The second strange thing was more bewildering and more telling. For a moment, I realised that I was trying to make the word, whatever it was, look plausibly like the word “black” in my mind’s eye, so that the column I had already filed would make sense. I was every rightwing commentator’s idea of the liberal comedian, looking for evidence of prejudice where there was in fact only an ejaculating penis and some swear words and testicles. For a moment, I wanted that little corner of Manchester to be a worse place than it was, so that my joke would work better. But yes, although the word could be “black” it could also be “sock”. Or even “bag”. I amended the online edition of the column to allow for doubt, which made it weirdly funnier, relieved that on Sunday I was going to camp in a dense woodland for a week, beyond the reach of the internet, so I would have no idea what social media made of my confusion.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jul/25/did-i-cock-up-over-marcus-rashford-mural-stewart-lee

Nice bit of introspection from Are Stew.

Have you considered discussing this with the health professional who approves your prescriptions?

>>5829
She told me to go cold turkey and no I'm not joking.

The half life of citalopram is meant to be about 35hours, this means that even though you go 2-3 days without a dose, there's probably a bit left in your body that's enough to prevent withdrawal symptoms starting (I discovered with sertraline -half life of about 26 hours- that the withdrawal symptoms only started after about 2-3 days after going cold turkey and were bad enough that I had to start taking it again). So I think it would be a good idea for you to try and just take a tablet every 3 days and see how you feel after a couple of weeks. Then if possible try and split the dose by half and keep on taking it every 3 days for a while.

Ultimately you can try and taper the dose down so slowly that you don't notice, or you can try and cut down until you notice withdrawal effects and just take a small enough dose to stave them off for a little longer.

The doctor has told you to go cold turkey, and she's probably right to say that the withdrawal effects aren't dangerous, but whilst not dangerous they can be incredibly unpleasant and last for weeks after you stop taking it so tapering off is better.

I tried to kill myself then threw them all in the bin.

>>5832
Glad you're still with us.
Remember to check back in over the next few days and let us know how you're doing.

Hard drugs.

We already had this discussion here a few weeks ago.

if you do what you were told in school you follow bodmas which means you multiply and divide before addition and subtraction, but in the real word people who do maths for a living always write out equations in a way that the order or operations is obvious. (And if you write formulae in excel you just use brackets absolutely fucking everywhere so nothing is left to chance)

>>4931
November was more than a few weeks ago.

>>4932
Time travels more slowly in /science/ lad.

>>4933
* /lab/ lad

>>4930
I like drawing up tables of video game data and using Excel to try strategies based on the numbers. Essentially playing the game without any of the fun. But I am deeply wrong so you're spot on.

I can't remember the last time I heard someone say "oh, bollocks" for something going wrong.

Is bollocks dying out?

>>69255
The Irish use it to mean someone nasty or unpleasant, much how we'd use prick. "He's a bollocks" never fails to get a giggle out of me.

>>69255
I'm a bollocks user, so to speak.

>>69256
Prick is probably used even less these days.

I worked with someone who'd say "you can bollocks" instead of fuck off.

>>69258
Truly we live in a renaissance age of the word bollocks.

>>34754
>Patel said she was “determined to give the police the powers they need to crack down on perpetrators and carry out their duties to protect the public whilst providing victims with the care and support they deserve”.

Well done Priti, now when I speak out against your repeated efforts to increase police powers, I'll be labelled a sexist. n1 m8

>>34755

They already pulled that one on Labour for some stuff that supposedly protects women in the policing bill.

>>34754

Pretty consistently, about three quarters of homicides in England and Wales are committed against males.

We are being played like a fiddle.

I don't know why it's never occurred to me that they only cynically push this shit as an excuse for the ever creeping tendrils of authoritarianism, but it makes sense. I actually thought the government was full of cloud cuckoo land fisherfolk who think making a law will stop wolf-whistling.

>>34768
It's not exactly "creeping" at this point.

>>2946
That looks really fine as a repair - no landlord is going to complain about that.

Well, from one cock up to another. A routine lightbulb change has gone tits up. I fucking hate these cunting downlighter things. It's now hanging out of the ceiling at an angle, the lightbulb is just flopping around inside it, and if I pull straight down I can hear the plasterboard start to strain, and I'd rather not put a massive hole in my ceiling. If I try and push it back up it just falls down to this position here.

The spring loaded 'wings' appear to be twisted from what little I can see.

Is this something I can call the landlord to sort out, or will they say it's my fuckup and I'll have to pay an electrician to come sort out?

>>2948
You just have to fiddle with the clips for long enough - doesn't need an electrician.

>>2949
This doesn't look right, but I can't get a better angle to look at it than this.

>>2950
Well, I managed to free th bulb and change it but it simply won't go back up into the ceiling.

There's something about this story but I just can't put my finger on it.

>>34748

Neither could he.