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>> No. 28571 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:05 am
28571 Minor Rants and Piss-Offs, Mark VIII
It appears largethreadmodlad has also locked the previous iteration of this thread; Mark VIII it is, then.

I take perfect care of my nails. I don't bite them, I cut in the standard flat formation every 3-5 days, and scrub under them in the shower. So why the actual fuck are my cuticles bleeding? Putting the plaster over to catch the blood means I can't play my bass properly, and that pisses me off.
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>> No. 33222 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 6:50 pm
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>>33221
That sounds horrible. Have you tried hitting him?
>> No. 33223 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 7:13 pm
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>>33222
I'm trying to make a change to let a child have fun without some 'orrible adult shouting at him at every turn. If he wants to make noises after a hard day at school then fair enough, at least he's not one of those prats revving a motorcycle.

But the rage will eventually boil over and I'll throttle the life out of the little cunt.
>> No. 33224 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 7:32 pm
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>>33221>>33223
The kid across the street from me is properly feral. At the weekend he was lifting up the manhole cover on his neighbour's driveway and throwing things down there. He was also throwing footballs repeatedly at his house while his mum was out, he'd just been dumped on the street, and they kept hitting cars when they bounced back. I'm surprised he didn't get a bollocking, but you can always hear his mum screaming at him.
>> No. 33225 Anonymous
24th May 2022
Tuesday 11:02 pm
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>>33221
That sounds horrible. Have you tried moving from Povvo Street?
>> No. 33227 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 7:05 pm
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I don't have Adblock on my work computer. I am listening to a song that's around ten minutes long (Finished Symphony by Hybrid) on YouTube, and it just cut out after six minutes for an advert.

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>> No. 32916 Anonymous
22nd March 2022
Tuesday 1:08 am
32916 Dating Moans
I thought we should just make a thread to moan and talk about the dating scene. There seems like 2 of us who are now on the arse-end of it in our 30s so I thought we could at least serve as a warning for others.

My moan is that a lass has just set a date for next Tuesday. I understand people are busy but I'm cynical enough that I'll let you know when she inevitably backs out for putting it too far into the future.
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>> No. 33181 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 9:49 pm
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>>33180
You're thinking about it from the perspective of an absence and not instead a world of choice. Even in Mexico there's vast differences between states.
>> No. 33182 Anonymous
16th May 2022
Monday 10:09 pm
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>>33181

It's all a bit of a swings and roundabouts thing when it comes to the difference between nice countries and shitholes, though. You might sit here thinking "why the fuck would somebody move to Britain and not New Zealand or Canada or Switzerland Germany, they must have really loved Doctor Who as a kid", but there are as many downsides to those countries as to our own. The reasons people chose to move to a place are often entirely pragmatic, not desire based.
>> No. 33183 Anonymous
17th May 2022
Tuesday 1:14 am
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>>33178

>The perception of infinite choice has made us less tolerant of the flaws that make us human.

Exactly. And I'm not sure people are ready to accept them the way they did in our grandparents' generation, where people stayed together for many decades and just lived with the fact that whoever they were with may have been an absolute git in certain areas, but was in the greater scheme of things a good and decent person to be with.

My nan grew up in a Yorkshire village and married somebody from three towns over. It was more or less what everybody did. Back in them days, you had very limited choice, more often than not as a young person there were realistically two or three potential partners for you where you lived, and that was it. You then almost inevitably ended up marrying one of them. And I can't say my grandparents ever seemed greatly unhappy with each other. My nan even forgave my grandad after he had a few affairs.
>> No. 33184 Anonymous
18th May 2022
Wednesday 12:21 am
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>>33183
If you put away the rose-tinted glasses though you soon see that such a world is fucking horrible. The problem isn't with the selection but that people are bad at knowing what they want in a partner and what really matters in general.

Start with the man in the mirror and embrace that fat lass who liked you on Hinge. Give her a shot. It's what otherlad did and look at how happy he is. If she's horrible then you leave her and try someone else, maybe having grown a little from the journey or at least having had some fun.
>> No. 33226 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 3:44 pm
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>what do your parents do?
Every time. I didn't notice before. Class lad is always right.

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>> No. 5103 Anonymous
22nd September 2011
Thursday 9:56 pm
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THERE'S TRAFFIC AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE JUNCTION BUT INSTEAD OF LETTING YOU PULL OUT I'M GOING TO CREEP MY CAR FORWARD A FEW METRES AND BLOCK YOU IN BECAUSE I'M AN INCONSIDERATE CUNT WHO WOULD RATHER INCONVENIENCE OTHERS JUST SO I CAN SPEED UP MY OWN JOURNEY BY A FEW SECONDS.
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>> No. 33042 Anonymous
17th April 2022
Sunday 7:42 pm
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>>33041
I dunno, lad. The Animals of Farthing Wood was pretty brutal.
>> No. 33043 Anonymous
17th April 2022
Sunday 7:48 pm
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>>33042

Because of the humans. It would have all gone very differently if the humans all died in the second episode, in a crossover with Threads to make the most traumatising TV show possibly imaginable.

Fox of Farthing Wood was clearly one of history's greatest and most noble leaders. We could al learn a thing or two from him.
>> No. 33044 Anonymous
17th April 2022
Sunday 8:03 pm
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>>33042
Well look who's never seen Watership Down.
>> No. 33045 Anonymous
17th April 2022
Sunday 8:05 pm
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>>33044
I don't remember any foxes in Watership Down.
>> No. 33046 Anonymous
17th April 2022
Sunday 8:23 pm
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>>33043
>Fox of Farthing Wood was clearly one of history's greatest and most noble leaders. We could al learn a thing or two from him.
These bloody furries on this site, man.

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>> No. 5003 Anonymous
6th September 2011
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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>> No. 32499 Anonymous
29th October 2021
Friday 10:23 pm
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Mashmallow.
>> No. 32511 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 1:32 pm
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My girlfriend is adamant that people from Hull use words like 'bokkle' instead of bottle and 'cuggle' for hug but I lived there for 25 years and don't think I ever heard them used.
>> No. 32512 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 2:42 pm
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>>32511
My grandma would say bokkle when we were kids. She would also say kekkle and watter, which my dad would take the piss out of her for, I always assumed it was an in-joke.
>> No. 32513 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 3:22 pm
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>>32511
The cleaning lady at my work says "lickle". She's from Manchester, though.
>> No. 32514 Anonymous
31st October 2021
Sunday 4:00 pm
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>>32511
My old history teacher was from Cheshire, and he would say "hospickle" and "lickle". Fucked me right off.

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>> No. 30617 Anonymous
7th August 2020
Friday 9:22 pm
30617 American Express
Who the fuck, apart from posing twats, uses one of these that ends up charging the retailer a stupid amount for a 50p can of pop at a corner shop?

I hate the fucking things.
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>> No. 32475 Anonymous
18th October 2021
Monday 5:39 am
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I pay for everything on Amex becsuse I get 0.5% cashback on it all. Sorry.

As of last week though I don't because now I get 1% on my Chase debit card.
>> No. 32476 Anonymous
18th October 2021
Monday 9:06 am
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>>30648 The bloke selling frozen fish out of a van still has one. Or did 3 years ago.
Mid 90s, I pointed out to a checkout lass that she should probably be putting the card in the machine before dragging the roller over. She looked, and had a morning's worth of blank but signed slips.
>> No. 32477 Anonymous
18th October 2021
Monday 3:02 pm
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>>32476
>She looked, and had a morning's worth of blank but signed slips.

Actually cringing at the thought.
>> No. 32581 Anonymous
21st November 2021
Sunday 12:06 am
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Dunno whether other card companies do this or how many loopholes they try to exploit but Amex promises to insure purchases against accidental damage and theft for 90 days. People who think credit cards generally are predatory, wise to avoid or in fact have any negative monetary cost whatsoever are dumb as bricks (or are just making lame excuses for their own lack of self control).

In other financial news I learned this week but slightly too late to be of use personally, the government will give assorted dolescum £1200 over four years if only they can rub two pennies together. The scheme's called Help to Save.
>> No. 32582 Anonymous
21st November 2021
Sunday 12:32 am
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>>32581

Can I, an ordinary working class person with adequate personal finances, take advantage of this in the same way companies that still had their employees working took advantage of the furlough scheme?

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>> No. 22678 Anonymous
10th May 2016
Tuesday 4:44 pm
22678 Estate/ Letting Agents
How is there not a thousand post long /101/ thread on these fuckers yet.

I'm currently having the privileged of negotiating a letting contract with them. Which they are insistent they cannot change. But it doesn't matter that my wishes for use of the property and that I informed them of originally are contradictory with because 'they just won't enforce that bit it's just legally required we put that in there' (it isn't).

This is a deal on a property where we should be moving in in 4 days they gave us the 40 page contract last night and insisted we should be signing by the end of the night that makes reference to agreeing we have seen documents they are yet to provided us with.

Oh yes and they want £150 of fees for providing this standardized contract that they seem incapable of understanding amending, or are being deliberately obtuse as to the implications of 12 months down the line and about £500 more just because.
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>> No. 30590 Anonymous
4th August 2020
Tuesday 10:51 am
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>>30588

Don't you dare compare rats to vermin like estate agents lad. That's just below the belt.
>> No. 30597 Anonymous
4th August 2020
Tuesday 3:01 pm
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>>30590

I apologise to you and to the rest of the rat community.
>> No. 30654 Anonymous
10th August 2020
Monday 1:13 pm
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The one I'm dealing with right now literally does not read my emails.

"Hi, I've sent the deposit, please confirm you have this. I also have filled in the form you wanted, please find it attached as well as the utility bill you requested."

>"Hi,

>Please send the deposit to this bank account <>. Please also >complete the form and return it along with a utility bill."

"Hi, I have already sent the deposit, utility bill and forms, please confirm you received them"

>"Hi,

>I've received the deposit. Please send the first month's rent."

"Hi, I have now sent the first month's rent. Please confirm."
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>> No. 30721 Anonymous
24th August 2020
Monday 12:22 pm
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Is it legal for my letting agent to release my phone number and email address to third party maintenance companies?
>> No. 30722 Anonymous
24th August 2020
Monday 12:49 pm
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>>30721
Depends - a specific third-party maintenance company who is involved in the maintenance of the building you're in - yes it is. Under GDPR this would qualify as "performance of a contract".

To a bunch of non-specific third-parties who then sell/market to you, no it is not.

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>> No. 30430 Anonymous
8th July 2020
Wednesday 5:40 pm
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I don't think I can take much more of this. My friends use this in almost every line of text conversation. All of them.
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>> No. 30435 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 4:00 pm
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I actually think they can be pretty handy to convey the tone in which I want some lass to read my awkward messages.
>> No. 30436 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 4:20 pm
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>>30435

Yeah, they're essential for talking to birds so they know when you're joking, or else they will genuinely just assume you're some kind of serial killer. The British sense of humour doesn't translate well to text unless the person reading it is quite sharp.
>> No. 30437 Anonymous
9th July 2020
Thursday 11:10 pm
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>>30432
> If only they knew emoji originated in Japan...
What difference would that make? Many of them see Japan as an example of a model society.
>> No. 30439 Anonymous
11th July 2020
Saturday 7:57 pm
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>>30430
Genuinely upsetting.
>> No. 30440 Anonymous
11th July 2020
Saturday 10:25 pm
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MSN Messenger winks were really just as egregious. To remember using these after school with mates.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqGJUKaaLU4

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>> No. 28764 Anonymous
23rd July 2019
Tuesday 4:48 pm
28764 Summer
Fuck off sun

It is 34 today, it'll be 37 on Thursday.
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>> No. 28845 Anonymous
27th July 2019
Saturday 3:29 pm
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been sweating my ass off all week welding in this heat. but 3 hours before i leave the fucking weekend rain starts again FML.
>> No. 30075 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 12:57 am
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My nemesis hath returned once more and with him always seems to follow the sweary season on britfa.gs

Let us remember to repeat this mantra "is this person actually an insufferable cunt or is it simply too fucking hot"?
>> No. 30078 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 3:41 am
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I want it to be winter again
>> No. 30079 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 3:55 am
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>>30078
Give it a couple of months.
>> No. 30080 Anonymous
23rd May 2020
Saturday 7:49 am
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>>30078
Days start getting shorter in less then 4 weeks. ITZ COMING.

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>> No. 25338 Anonymous
2nd June 2017
Friday 10:09 pm
25338 Terrible product/marketing photos
Nothing can so easily send me into apoplectic rage and simultaneous fits of laughter as non-nonsensical photographs in advertising and marketing. I couldn't decide where this thread belongs best as it's both irritating and entertaining at the same time.

Lidl has some brilliant examples, for instance this picture of a woman who is clearly off her tits on some research chems and is seeing hallucinations of vegetables flying around her head.
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>> No. 29459 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 2:59 pm
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>>29457

My ex still calls emergency vehicles "nee naws" as in, oh, pull over, here come the nee naws.

It was sort of funny but mostly very odd.
>> No. 29460 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 4:13 pm
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>>29458

I was just thinking their cultural literacy must be as impressive as whoever thought [word redacted because I just got banned for an hour for posting it] was a good name for Woolworths kids beds. It's not like when you used to see accidentally goatse-looking logos and think oh well, the designer's just oblivious to memes. That was a bit enviable.
>> No. 29461 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 4:23 pm
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>>29460

Maybe someone at Cummings just thought it was finally time to address the company name with a little nod.
>> No. 29462 Anonymous
24th January 2020
Friday 6:47 pm
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>>29456
>> No. 29469 Anonymous
26th January 2020
Sunday 11:33 am
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>>27716
I used to read a trade mag called Computing. They had a long-running gag about "black women with routers". And it was true, almost without fail every advert for a router used to have a very happy-looking black woman holding it.

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>> No. 29018 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:39 pm
29018 Magazines
I get that magazines are more or less obsolete now, except for a few silly sods like me who impulse buy them from time to time.
But how exactly have we ended up with the "November" issues hitting the shelves in September?
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>> No. 29019 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:40 pm
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It's called a quarterly.
>> No. 29020 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:44 pm
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No, it's definitely monthly.
>> No. 29021 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 9:46 pm
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It's four weekly.

https://www.practicalfishkeeping.co.uk/store/back-issues/practical-fishkeeping
>> No. 29022 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 10:19 pm
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It's mainly for the benefit of WH Smith. Nobody likes buying old magazines, so releasing the "November" issue in September extends the shelf life. Also, international subscribers feel like they're getting the latest issue even if it takes six weeks to arrive by surface mail.
>> No. 29023 Anonymous
27th September 2019
Friday 10:54 pm
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The cover date is for the newsagent, not you. It's the date when they're supposed to withdraw the issue from sale. Typically a monthly magazine will publish either 12 or 13 issues per year (the latter usually includes a Christmas issue). In this case, the November issue goes on sale from 25/09, and will be removed from the shelves around 01/11, by which time the December issue should have turned up.

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>> No. 29001 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 1:28 am
29001 Shit neighbours
Fuck me, the dolescum that live in the "affordable housing" block (see: corporate slumlords) next to me insist on being as loud and obnoxious as possible next to an open window that then reverbs around the close well into the early hours of the morning. It wouldn't be an issue if this wasn't the fourth night this week they'd done it and the countless of several weeks on the trot.

They've had the police called on them for noise disturbances to no avail and doubtlessly have been reported to the housing association (£££) more than once but is there anything that I, personally, can do to stop it? I've asked them nicely countless times (through my window with the blinds closed at night, naturally) only to be met with profanity and increased noise disturbance. I may have snapped at a particularly bad day today and screamed for them to shut the fuck up but it didn't seem to do much except likely irk my neighbours further. And yes, my intended recipients definitely heard.

FWIW affordable housing is great but underclasses that are content being underclasses taking up flats more proactive people could use fucks me off to no end.
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>> No. 29002 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 4:36 am
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Tip the police off that the house is being used to sell drugs. Scum like that always have drugs anyway so the rozzers are bound to find something nickable.

Bear in mind that snitches get stitches and now you've screamed at them they'll probably blame you for anything like that. I know it's obvious advice but keep your head down, save what you can and fight tooth and nail for a better job that lets you move far, far away.
>> No. 29003 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 6:29 am
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Is this the first time you've actually had to encounter the great unwashed? Your options are either to join in with them or do what everyone else in the country does by getting as far away from them as possible. You will not change their behaviour.
>> No. 29004 Anonymous
20th September 2019
Friday 9:36 am
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I find I'm okay with it if I just think of it as an ongoing drama that I catch snippets of.

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>> No. 28995 Anonymous
19th September 2019
Thursday 1:47 pm
28995 Bluetooth
Did you know that bluetooth is named after King Harald 'Bluetooth' of Denmark. Supposedly because he succeeded in getting the tribes of Denmark to communicate with each other and unite with each other? This in spite of the fact that a meaningful modern "kingdom" as we would understand the term didn't really emerge until another 50 years or so after his death and in fact he simply consolidated the Jutland peninsula? When I try to make my computer and my speakers communicate with each other I can tell.

Also he was ovethrown and forced into exile by his own son for being so crap. The son, Sveyn Forkbeard, would later go on to conquer, and become king of, England (which actually was a real kingdom already). Bluetooth has been giving me shit for over a thousand years.
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>> No. 28996 Anonymous
19th September 2019
Thursday 3:47 pm
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Just plug stuff in, lol.

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>> No. 28784 Anonymous
23rd July 2019
Tuesday 10:47 pm
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The next round of Marvel films is going to have Natalie Portman as Thor, Goddess of Thunder; a gay superhero; a deaf superhero; a Chinese superhero; etc. etc. It's going to be diverse, in short.

I'm not posting this to moan about that. I'm posting this pre-emptively to moan about all the moaning. It's coming, you can tell. People can't just shut up and watch their fucking kid's films about aliens and magic, whatever gender or colour the people in them happen to be.
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>> No. 28819 Anonymous
24th July 2019
Wednesday 8:12 pm
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I've seen far, far more "moral imperative etc." about I, Daniel Blake than anything Hollywood has ever made.
>> No. 28820 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 2:27 am
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>>28817

The problem with Ghostbusters 2016 as an example is that it's pretty difficult to argue that the political agenda didn't get in the way of it being a good film. That film was fucking shit, and it wasn't shit because it had women instead of men. It was fucking shit because they were clearly more bothered about subverting expectations and forecasting shipping than they were about writing a good script or hiring actresses who could actually carry a joke.

At best it made no impact at all and everyone has just forgotten about it, but at worst it's had a negative impact for the people it was trying to help.
>> No. 28821 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 12:39 pm
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If I wanted to watch Ghostbusters but not Ghostbusters then I'd watch Evolution. It's a very underrated film.
>> No. 28822 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 1:42 pm
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>>28784
>I'm posting this pre-emptively to moan about all the moaning. It's coming, you can tell.
And come it did. Well done, OP.
>> No. 28823 Anonymous
25th July 2019
Thursday 1:47 pm
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>>28820
I wasn't addressing why it was shit, but I still think you're wrong in your reasoning on that matter. I can't be arsed going through it though, you'll just have to imagine me being all smart and long-winded.

Too hot to talk about Ghostbusters 2016. Too bloody hot.

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>> No. 25832 Anonymous
24th September 2017
Sunday 10:16 pm
25832 BRITFA.GS /101/ MARK VII Locked
The old thread is well over 30MB, so I think we're due a new one.

Some cunt threw a firecracker in front of my bike today. If I hadn't seen the little scrote and his little scrote mates running I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late.
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>> No. 28566 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 8:31 am
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I need to stop doing deep-dives into bigoted teen eskimo Tweeter. Shit's too retarded.
>> No. 28567 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:07 pm
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>>28565

I'm learning to be obsequious in Mandarin. It probably won't save me from the forced labour camps, but it might earn me an extra bowl of rice while I'm there.

>他做到了! 杀死叛徒!
>> No. 28568 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:22 pm
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>>28567
You turncoat bastard, I'll have your hide before I take their rice!
>> No. 28569 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 2:03 pm
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>>28567
我的气垫船装满了鳗鱼
>> No. 28570 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 5:27 pm
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The cyclist today who saw an older lady crossing the road at a t-junction and approached it at near full speed, purposefully moving so his path was aligned with hers so he could go 'Watch it!' before cycling straight out of the junction and nearly being sidelined by a taxi with right of way.

I am a huge, huge fan of getting more people to cycle but some London cyclists can be a little bellicose at times and misunderstand their commute to work for the first stage of the Tour De France.

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