If you do it, make sure you do the expensive shit. Heroin is one of those drugs that comes in so many varied grades that if you want, you can get a hit for £10 but it will last about 3 seconds and you will basically be injecting mercury into your veins.
It's like most drugs. Do the quality shit or get fucked up. Its why movie stars and rock stars can get away with using it and not looking like someone from Swansea.
Not that I know how much a hit of that quality would cost but I imagine its ranging from £10 for the worst shit to about £300+ for more or less clean stuff. Just be careful and don't get it from your neighbourhood pot dealer since he won't know the difference.
>>5031 You generally get a bag for between £5-£15 depending on dealer/quality/quantity etc. How long it lasts depends on how you take it and the quality of the gear but you should be high for a couple hours although the peak may be over after half an hour or so. I never injected but I used to smoke a fair bit and would recommend not shooting it up especially if it's your first time. It's very easy to kill yourself injecting it and you can get a decent high just chasing it.
I've never heard of a "hit" of brown costing £300 plus or anyone cutting it with mercury and to be honest this guy >>5032 seems like he's talking bollocks and has just read about it on the internet.
I would also advise you to just not to bother, it's reasonably easy to pick up a habit and a lot lot harder to put it down.
If you stumble upon one of those crazy high-class dealers who have medical training and only stock the finest, cleanest quality gear, and will help you shoot up and so on so that you don't overdose, sure, give it a go.
It's a tad moreish though so be warned.
Just for the love of fuck whatever you do stay away from the street level shit and do not under any circumstances get any wise ideas about trying a night in shooting up by yourself. Very dangerous stuff here, it cannot be stressed enough.
Use as a very, very occasional opiate treat, never anything more.
People look at me oddly when I describe crack as moreish.
Anyhoo, OP, stear clear of the gear. I've lost too many people to it. Even those who still live are effectively dead. If you're really interested I can grab a forum post from a dear friend of mine explaining who he fucked 15 years of his life due to brown. He's also one of the most talented visual artists in the world, but his carteer was delayed by 15 years. He's also dieng of hep. He has about 18 months left.
Just out of curiosity, what makes someone want to try heroin? It's got to be one of the few drugs that the sort of drug users I regularly interact with would warn people away from, with the facts at their disposal, why would anyone want to try it?
>>5066 I imagine it's the intense high and if they're anything like me, a foolish desire to prove one possesses the mental discipline not to develop a habit. >>5037 has it right, in that we reach an age where most of life is behind us and it makes sense to throw caution to the wind and live life without regard for the personal consequences.
As with other drugs, there are many heroin users who are not problem users. I'm sure everybody assumes they will become one of those people if they try it.
I don't think many people genuinely respect the idea of addiction, despite everybody being aware that it exists.
It's a curious mental phenomenon, in that you are unable to understand it in any genuine capacity without first experiencing it.
People who have never been physically addicted to something either fear and demonise anything linked to it, in an almost primitive instinctual reaction (think of your girlfriend getting mad at you as though it'll turn you into a vegetable every time you smoke a bit of weed) or utterly disregard it as something trivial that only concerns other weak willed, inferior individuals (m8 i'm a caffeine addict lol can't go wivout a cuppa!)
For this reason I think it should be mandatory for everyone to smoke for at least a few months, to give the a sense of perspective and understanding about the psychological aspect of drugs.
Fearing addiction without experiencing it doesn't seem unreasonable, having just read through the whole of >>2130. When you're gambling with physical dependence as opposed to a psychological addiction (say, alcoholism), surely the stakes are that much higher that the risk almost always outweighs the benefits?
Indeed, I just can't stand when these people become preachy about something they do not grasp, you know?
Fair enough if someone wants to be a tee total vegan straight-edge puritan all their life because of that fear, they just better not spill their gravy in my ice cream.
Do some other opiates first man, heroin is like a last resort for desperate users who have withdrawals to shake off or a ridiculously high tolerance.
Try to get hold of some oxycodone first or something. Trust me, if you don't rattle badly for your next fix and you don't already have an opiate tolerance, then heroin provides only disadvantages. Get some clean medical grade stuff, and snort it. If you are going to do it, try to get some clean #4 and snort it. Slamming it just makes it much more likely you'll get sick or OD.
I'm slightly gutted that the entire time I was in swansea I never came across the stuff. :(
I 've done most of the other popular drugs they warn you about (crack in that) and I'm not entirely convince addiction exists in the way the propaganda tells you it does. it's like people have this sky is falling phobia about just trying something and they'll suddenly turn into mr Hyde, and equally people have a misconsception of what addiction means.
Most people watch TV as their hobby of chocie you wouldn't call them an addict if in their moments of bordem, out of habbit they resorted to watching TV.
The horror story addicts would be fucking drop outs anyway. They are the kind of people who don't have the mental tools or capacity or incline to manage their own lives, If the H didn't get them then the crack would if it wasn't that, then the alcohol would, or the glue sniffing, or they would find someway of destroying themselves with coffee. Quite frankly it doesn't matter what matters is the incline of the individual, if your mother is the kinda person who gives you heroin at 14 you didn't stand much chance at the start of the race, on the other end of the spectrum you have people like William Wilberforce, who felt no remorse over his habbit, and got shit done.
Addicts in the popculture sense have nothing to do with a drug and everything to do with how a person manages their life I'm convinced.
I'm a fuctional member of society, with pleanty of experiance with addicts, the homeless, and seeing the problems of others. I've experiance with people who have taken drugs reguarly and it never be an issue for them and seen the others who used weed or a bit of beer to destroy themselves. And as far as I could tell it's always been the inner psyche that has really been the issue not the drug. These things opperating as an excuse often for someone to be what they want to be.
You might as well believe every cunt who uses the excuse that they were drunk as to why they beat up their wife if you are going to take that view. You condescending prick.
>>5085 >I've experiance with people who have taken drugs reguarly and it never be an issue for them and seen the others who used weed or a bit of beer to destroy themselves. And as far as I could tell it's always been the inner psyche that has really been the issue not the drug.
Nail on the head.
I pay £10 for around 150mg of brown, which for me is 2 hits. I usually buy 4 bags at a time and use it over a period of 2-3 days, but I keep my usage down to one period every 2-3 weeks, usually initiated by boredom. I have good self control and I don't feel the need to do it every day, and honestly when it comes to starting the road to addiction I think shooting up is a massive jump into that pool; you start to crave the sensation because it's so much more intense and than any other means of administration, but I've been through that struggle and I'm out the other end - some would say the fact that I still use negates that point, but users will know what I'm talking about. imo If you can use infrequently and me sober more often than not, you have a grip on things.
Smoking it will get you high, but IVing is a different game. It's got the better of me once or twice, and so I took a break because it started to effect my mood and I found myself doing dickhead things like waking up at my girlfriends house, being snappy and a cunt to her, then going home to shoot up and coming back happy and smiley like nothing had happened. I had the foresight to notice that instances like these are tell-tale signs that it's time for a break; if the drug comes before any other part of your life it's time to re-evaluate, an ethos I think is important when using any drugs, not just the heavier ones.
I wouldn't recommend IV use to anyone because once you've started it's hard to go back, but the golden brown isn't all that, I was pretty disappointed the first few times I did it. Now I have a penchant for it only because it's something I can do in the day and still feel compos mentis and functional. and it feelsgoodman.
I'm a bit torn on the nature of addiction. I do agree that the popular image of drugs insidiously snatching your life away from you and negating all control over your own circumstances is a bit silly (I heard it referred to as voodoo pharmacology somewhere, which I quite liked), but at the same time I am hopelessly addicted to nicotine. I've got no problem managing my life, I am in no way a fuck-up, and I've used all manner of drugs without even coming close to being a problem user, but that one fucking thing just got the better of me, despite my nature otherwise. It does make me wonder how easy it would be for me to become addicted to something else.
I wonder if it's just the nature of smoking, where you do it every day, that makes it so easy to become an addict before you've even realised it. I think with most drugs, you take them and then you have time to reflect on it while not under their influence, so it's easy to spot when you need to lay off for a while. I suspect people who are in a position where drug use is happening all around them all the time might simply be at risk because of their circumstances, rather than their psyche.
Unlike these other cunts I'm a proper degenerate addict. Can't function without drugs, have done a number of illegal things to get them in the past, spend damn near all my money on them.
It ain't something you really want to get into. Especially when you've got nasty fucking street heroin instead of pharmaceutical Oxycodone or something. Fuck that noise, nah'mean?
In addition, girls don't like drug users too much. I didn't read most of the thread as I'm high now but to expound on my post it's really nothing you want to get yourself into. The drugs feel pretty alright, as good as anything else, but that enjoyment fades and there's metric tonnes of bullshit that generally is intertwined with using them.
I've done all of the alleged worst drugs that they rail on about. I smoked meth once and it put me off and I never did it again. Coke and crack I've done maybe a combined few dozen 20 times since my first try about 6 years ago.
Opiates, on the other hand, hooked me from the start. It's obviously not an instant dependency but it's very easy to fall into compulsion and get there quickly. Friends of mine have had the opposite experience and thought opiates were shit and got hooked on speed.
Point being the hard drug experience is different for everyone, you don't really know what will happen and it's not worth the trouble. Weed, molly, etc should be fine for about anyone though.
>>5090 Where the fuck did you get meth from in the UK? I have never, ever encountered anyone selling it or anyone who's even tried it over here. The market appears to be tiny.
>>5094 Yeah sorry if I wasn't clear but I'm really not counting SR in this. I've met people who are into speed but never heard about much crystal meth usage in the UK. It seems be a very American drug.
>In addition, girls don't like drug users too much.
As with any generalisation about 50% of the population, this isn't particularly accurate. I've known lots of girls who (especially as teenagers) actively sought out the bad-boy druggie types, and on the periphery of my social circle there were definitely women who went for junkies, but then they were junkies too so I suppose that's par for the course.
I've never trusted myself enough to try smack or crack.
The hardcore gay scene in London was very into meth and GHB about five years ago. I also have no idea wtf they got meth from as it never really seemed to hit prominence in the UK despite all the scaremongering.
Alcohol also causes physical dependence and associated tolerance, notable in that unlike heroin, the withdrawal is both incredibly uncomfortable and also possibly fatal (about 14% mortality rate without treatment, I think, after 5 years of heavy alcoholism)
Not preaching btw, I drink all the time, it's just worth noting that maybe the drugs that da gub'mint allows us to consume in great amounts aren't the best things for us.
I'm sure a great many people these days realise that to be true. I still don't get why people think I'm joking when I say it's because the legal drugs are the ones which most effectively subdue the population.
I don't even mean it in a tinfoil-hat, the MAN is out to opress you, kinda way, just... Stands to reason, if I was in charge of 60 million cunts I'd rather have them out on the lash every Friday and Saturday, before returning to their drone existence through the week, than have everyone taking E or smoking weed and suddenly coming to dangerous realisations about society and themselves, and even in some cases developing an alarming case of open-mindedness.
>>5102 They do want people to smoke weed though. The sort of person who doesn't have a lot of respect for authority, it's great. They just make it illegal but hardly enforced, then anyone who's at all likely to experiment with breaking the law or going against the system starts smoking this drug that's essentially a sedative which causes paranoia and triggers latent mental illness. It's an absolutely genius way to subdue your anti-establishment population. As soon as weed gets legalised it loses it's allure and the problem-people start taking stuff that not only brings those realisations home but lets them act upon them. Not likely. How paranoid and/or mad do I sound right now? That's exactly it!
You know I reckon you might have a point. They make the illegal drugs illegal because they still want people to use them, but their illegal status makes it easier for them to target teenlads and anarchists... The plot thickens...
>>5102>>5104>>5105 as entertaining as those were to read, that kind of hidden-agenda idea is giving the government far too much credit. They're not smart people, they don't even think about things long enough or deeply enough to understand that mass consumption of particular substances could be used as a means of political control. They're too busy trying to appear tough on drugs so that old ladies don't live in fear of smacked-out yobbos bricking their windows, or trying to appear measured and cool and down-with-the-kids-but-firm when talking to school children - they'll do whatever they think will win them the vote. They're gurning cunts the lot of em.
>>5593 yes, it's a fair equation too. you could also substitute diamonds and other precious stones & metals, anything with a tantalum capacitor in it (mobile phones, tablets, laptops etc), cheap clothing, petrol, anything containing palm oil, in fact, some of those are probably considerably WORSE than the heroin trade.
>>5606 "Two wrongs don't make a right" is tu quoque. If someone responds to a tu quoque with a tu quoque, for the first person to turn around and say "But that's tu quoque!" is absurd and the only logical response is yet another tu quoque.
>>5607 It isn't, because it accepts the other person's argument (in this case, the trade in commodities and etc is also seriously dodgy).
My point is that there is no getting away from the fact that self-involvement in the heroin trade is immoral. Positing in response that self-involvement in diamond trade/sweatshop clothing is immoral is not in itself a rebuttal to that argument.
>>5610 As >>5600 points out, all of us are almost certainly involved in trades still more immoral than the heroin trade, so you must be mistaken. Are you sure your reason isn't more to do with social conditioning?
In fact, by the credo of "Be the change you want to see in the world", the truly moral thing to do would be to become involved in the heroin trade but in such a way that the immorality of it is factored out.
>>5611 That doesn't making funneling money into the heroin trade right.
'Social conditioning' be buggered.
>>5612 I'd agree. If a lifetime's supply of heroin materialised in front of you then you wouldn't be participating in the heroin trade.
>>5613 >That doesn't making funneling money into the heroin trade right.
For the second time; no one has said it does.
However, it is less morally wrong than things you do funnel money into. So why are you picking up on the heroin trade as wrong for moral reasons, specifically? I can think of plenty of good reasons not to be involved in the heroin industry, but morality doesn't rate very highly among them. Yet you're only objecting to it on moral grounds. Can you give an explanation for this contradiction that doesn't relate in some way to the social consensus that selling drugs, heroin in particular, is bad?
>>5613 You could manufacture your own in humane conditions, or even campaign to have it legalised so that people who don't resort to immoral methods can compete on the smack market and put out of business those who do.
>>5614 >So why are you picking up on the heroin trade as wrong for moral reasons, specifically?
Er, because this is a thread about heroin.
>You're only objecting to it on moral grounds.
If you really want to swallow the red pill then I'll raise you the argument that all things concerning choice are ultimately about morality.
>You could manufacture your own in humane conditions, or even campaign to have it legalised so that people who don't resort to immoral methods can compete on the smack market and put out of business those who do.
Sure. That's not what I'd object to. I'd rather heroin was decriminalised and available on prescription to help addicts / problem users alongside needle exchange programmes and the like too.
£10 but I hope you are joking. By the tone of your post you at least seem to be joking.
I say this as I have plenty of experience with this stuff. I have just recently quit and it was very hard.
If it doesn't kill you, you will soon fucking wish that you were dead, believe me.
Any more questions, please do not hesitate to ask, I will gladly help you out.
BTW, you asked how long it lasts. At first it lasts plenty long enough, but once you have a habit you will need to fix at least twice a day to stay well.
If you are very rich, heroin addiction will never be a problem for you at all. The problem with heroin comes when you cannot afford to buy it. That is why smack heads are the way they are. A rich smack head looks and functions completely normally.
You can get anything anywhere. We all know this. All you have to do is persevere.
Sorry about quoting so many posts but this subject matter evokes a strong emotional response in me. It's a dangerous issue to deal with and should not be taken lightly. No matter who you are, or how strong you think you are, heroin will fuck your life up.
And no matter how much you delude yourself, you CANNOT use this shit recreationally.
Glad to hear you're on the road out lad, hope it goes well for you.
>I've done some very fucked up shit.
Care to share some stories? Mostly out of a sort of morbid curiosity, I guess. Did you feel guilty over them at the time, or is it only in reflection that you feel shame?
>>5685 >If you are very rich, heroin addiction will never be a problem for you at all. The problem with heroin comes when you cannot afford to buy it. That is why smack heads are the way they are. A rich smack head looks and functions completely normally.
Does the high never diminish then? I thought the more you did it, the more you needed each time to achieve the same high, which is why the addiction gets worse over time.
When you become addicted to heroin, you don't ever actually get high any more, and I do not know where >>5688 gets his information from but heroin tolerance builds extremely quickly. The only other drug I have experienced that builds a quicker tolerance is Valium.
So as I was saying... When you start taking heroin, you do get high, yes it's amazing etc etc. But here is the kicker, and it is very subtle indeed... Hmm, it's fucking difficult to put into words, so forgive my writing style here... I'm drawing on all my experience here to tell this how it is so no one else makes an uneducated mistake...
I will tell it how it happened to me. At first, I was smoking the shit on tin foil, once a week, and then that slowly transformed into daily use, and I found that I had to use more to get the same effect from it. Then one day, I went to the people's house that had introduced me to the shit, and I did not actually have heroin on my mind. I did NOT know at the time that I was addicted. I felt like I had a cold and I was sneezing. Obviously this was the first steps of addiction so the feeling was not that bad at the time.
The people in the room, who were experienced smack heads started laughing at me, and saying, "hahaha you're clucking mate!". So I asked what this meant and they briefly explained it to me. So I scored a bag of heroin there and then, and as soon as I smoked the first line the feeling of malaise that had beset me immediately went away.
It was here that the vicious cycle of heroin addiction really started. Because in my mind I now knew that to get rid of the nasty feeling all I had to do was take some gear!
As time goes by, without realising it, you lose the high pretty much altogether. All you are doing is taking the shit to get rid of the fucking god awful withdrawal symptoms. The best way to explain it would be to compare it to having an awful flu. And say you had this flu, if you knew you could take a magic substance to instantly banish it you would. So you get into this vicious circle of keeping the wolf from the door on a daily basis.
So here you are, now trapped in this vicious cycle that I describe above.
Your life slowly crumbles around you without you even realising it.
>Fucked up shit
Here we go with this part of the story of heroin.
This shit completely destroys your moral compass. It can happen to anyone. I come from a middle-class-wannabe-scum family and I have a good education, to degree level.
I sold all of my property, and I fucking mean everything. I even sold my fridge freezer (lol). Computers, laptops, jewellery, anything you can find. You will find shit lying about that you would not even think has a value, but you will take it to the pawn shop anyway and get whatever you can for it.
Once everything is sold, thats when the borrowing starts. Once you have exhausted your lines of credits, be it with banks, family, credit cards, whatever, that is when the stealing starts. I've stolen off of my family (very sad, and very wrong), stole and sold my fucking great grandads silver pocket watch. Once I could not steal off of them any more I became a professional burglar. I cringe when I think now the things I've done years ago (I had a ten year clean period, and just finished another 4 year addiction but this time was nowhere near as hardcore). I would not think twice about BLATANTLY walking up to a door, knocking on it, and if there was no answer, I'd basically kick the bastard in and rob whatever was inside that I could get my hands on.
Obviously this cannot continue forever, and the inevitable prison comes along. It done me a favour actually as this is what helped me beat the addiction the first time around.
I will now continue to tell you about the current addicition which I have now thankfully left. I will mainly describe the fucked up shit I have done to feed the addiction and things that have happened.
The thing I did that probably made me feel the worst... I started begging... Ugh... I can't fucking believe it. I hate beggars, what a hypocrite, huh? So anyway, I started begging at Buchanan bus station in Glasgow. To make things easier I crafted a sign that said I was deaf and dumb and approached people with it to get money from them. Easy pickings, but you can only get away with this for so long. I stopped doing this pretty quick, and here is why it made me feel bad. I approached my target and showed her the sign, and she fucking started speaking with me in SIGN LANGUAGE. OMG! What a situation. I don't know fuck all sign language. She told me what a bad fucking person I was and I felt terrible, really terrible. It's because I have these feelings that I was not cut out for:
>Dealing smack on the streets of Glasgow.
So I decided to become a dealer to fund my habit. This was actually the easiest way to raise smack money. But obviously with anything that reaps easy rewards there is a significant risk. I will continue below...
So yeah, I was dealing smack on the streets. Having it relatively easy, selling about £600 worth of smack a day. I can't tell you how much profit I made, because I did not take profit in cash, I took it in free product.
I mentioned I was in Glasgow, right? Well I'm a Londoner, so I stick out up here like a sore thumb.
The police soon got to know me as a new face on the scene but did not think I was selling the stuff. One day I was doing the circuit at Glasgow Central station (any Glaswegians here?) walking round and round the block. I had my stash of gear in my mouth, and decided to take a fag break outside the entrance to the station. I was standing there smoking away when two plain clothes coppers came up to me. One of them mentions that he has been watching me walking round the block and he wants to know what I am up to, so I told him I was just there to score. He didn't believe me and asked to look inside my mouth. I opened my mouth and offered him a cursory glance inside, and I thought that my shit would not be visible. Well I was wrong, he saw it and asked what it was. So quick as a flash I swallowed the parcel and told him it was a sweet. Needless to say he did not believe me at all. They took my name and done some checks on me, all was ok so I was let on my way.
This next part is where I had a fucking very close call. You can get a long time if you are caught dealing smack, at least 3 or 4 years for first time offenders, which ain't a pretty prospect.
So... Couple of days later I am heading up the town to go and sell my shit. I had a few bags in my mouth and a larger "parcel" in my pocket. I had a feeling that day that maybe I should be more secure with my stash so I decided to bank it (stick it up my arse). 17 bags in total banked up my arse.
I got to town and met a few punters, and within a short amount of time, I looked like the fucking pied piper, with a trail of junkies following behind me. Still had a few bags in my mouth... We all stopped by the co-op near central station, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed some people making a bee-line for me and the guys I was with. It was the fucking pro-active policing team. Before they even got to me I had swallowed the shit that I had in my mouth. One of them was the cop that had me up outside the station only days earlier. Turns out my cards were now marked.
Everyone else got sent on their way, but they arrested me for a strip search. I got taken to the police station at Stewart street and made to strip etc. Normally this is where a strip search ends, but they blatantly told me that they suspected I had something banked (up my arse). Fucking luckily for me that I was inexperienced in "banking" shit and had stuck it further up than one would normally wish!
Basically, I had to bend over, spread my arse cheeks and cough. Luckily for me, I was in the clear. But when I was getting released, the copper had a word with me and basically told me to quit why I was ahead, and they had not caught me on that day but they knew what I was up to. He said he could see that I was an intelligent lad and that if I were to continue, the law of averages would catch up with me, and that they would eventually catch me out.
I agreed with what he told me and took it on board and decided to stop dealing.
From then I only made deals with friends to get cheap gear for myself. For example, because I had a "connection" to someone selling bulk, a very valuable thing that by the way, I would arrange some friends that would want say, 4 or 4 bags, and then I would go to the bulk dealer and buy a 16th of smack for 45 - 50 quid. I would give them their bags and keep the rest for myself...
>More fucked up shit LOL, fuck this keeps getting longer, I keep thinking of more.
I had been "out on the earn" with a friend all day in the town centre. Fuck this is two stories in one lol... What this earner entailed was, long story short:
>Go to town
>Go in mobile phone shop
>Steal dummy display phones
>Most expensive model possible
>Take screen apart and insert black card
>Put back together
>Find greedy mug on street
>Purport to sell them £500 "flat battery" stolen phone for £20
>Buy Heroin
>????????
>PROFIT!!!!
So we had been out doing this and it took all fucking day, in the cold, with the worst rattle (withdrawal) I had had in a long time.
>Went to this new dealer
>£20 bag
>Went home
>Shitty disposable lighter with metal clip missing
>Heating heroin solution in spoon
>Lighter "pops"
>Shit goes everywhere
>ragecomic.jpg
So you can imagine I feel pretty fucking awful at what has just happened, and not a single bit was able to be salvaged. When you read the next greentext bit you will see what I meant when I said I was too nice a person. BTW sorry for the greentext format, it's just I have typed a fair amount now.
>£20 bag from new dealer was shit anyway
>Raging due to accident after being out all day
>No more money
>Lightbulb moment, lets rob the dealer.
>Call dealer, tell him I want £100 worth to get him interested.
>Get baseball bat
>Go to dealers flat
>Shitting myself, never done this before.
>He pulls out an 1/8th of gear, turns his back
>I take my opportunity and crack the fucker over the head and he drops the goods.
>I grab the goods and his money
>He's crying on the floor and begs me not to leave him without his money.
>Me being not cut our for this game, I GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING MONEY BACK.
>Go home with the gear, and actually feel guilty.
>Get high
>Feels good man
So, I hope that I have provided a good insight into what it is like to be on heroin. If you would like to share in the same experiences, simply apply at your local smack dealer.
I will gladly take any further questions. Thanks for reading. I'd also be interested to hear any comments you may have.
Oh yeah, one last thing I forgot to say, how I got off it.
I signed up with the local addiction services and I am currently on 16mg Suboxone daily.
This shit is amazing, cause it gives NO BUZZ at all, like that shit methadone, so it does not cloud your head, I don't have any cravings whatsoever and Suboxone has a blocking effect which means that I could take any amount of opiates right now and I would not feel a fucking thing!
But to give up you MUST have the correct mindset. I haven't once thought about taking the shit since starting my suboxone course. And to the major surprise of addicition services, I have not given a single dirty urine sample!!
I hope that this has provided a useful insight into the not-so-glamorous world of heroin addiction, and it is something I now feel very strongly about.
If anyone wants any private advice due to a problem, or a potential problem, just hit me up in this thread.
Fortunately for me I never saw him again. Remember how I said he was a new dealer to me? He didn't know me or where to find me, so I was probably lucky there cause he was a nasty looking fucker that would probably fucking stab you without a second thought.
Yeah I apologise for that, lad. Please forgive me, it's just that I may have forgottent my .gs etiquette whilst writing that wall of text. But I really wouldn't want to annoy on purpose, not here anyway.
I am still living with the weegies, yes, but it doesn't really matter as I am no longer on "the scene" so to speak. Also, the guy is that much of a junkie, he's probably too out of his fucking nut to remember what I look like!
Could you remember what someone looked like if you only met them twice, and on the first occasion you were out of your nut on valium and smack, and on the second occasion you were equally out of your nut and also smacked over the head with a baseball bat?
I still feel bad about it :( That's why I'm not cut out for that lifestyle, I'm too nice to people. I even took a homeless couple off of the streets of glesga and let them live at my flat for over a month, ugh...
It has helped me to get out of the lifestyle. No one that meets me can believe that I have been a heroin user, on account of most drug users fitting the stereotypical look, which thankfully I don't. I have been taken advantage of on quite a few occasions though due to my good nature. But that's all part and parcel of the world of heroin really.
No matter how good your intentions when you get into "the game" (lul?) it always goes the same way.
On my second time around, I made the fucking idiotic mistake of thinking that because I had experience, I would be able to control the drug. Well, now I have the fucking experience to say that no matter how much experience you have of the drug, you will never be able to control it.
The subtlety with which it took hold was just as great, or maybe even greater this time around. I will NEVER fucking touch the shit again.
I'm not religious or anything like that, but here is a little story of how I got back into it. I was driving along listening to some shit on Radio 1 and they were talking about drug addiction. They were talking about "the ten year relapse". It had pretty much been exactly ten years that I had been clean. I fucking consciously said to myself in my head, "that'll never happen to me!". Well fuck, I should never have said that. I don't know what dark forces were at work in the universe that day, but just a couple of days after that event, I met an old friend. He had never had anything to do with heroin before but when I met him and took him back to my place he plotted up in the kitchen and started to roll a joint. I noticed him putting some powder in the joint and questioned him as to what he was doing. He told me he was putting some brown in the joint. I lectured him on the error of his ways etc etc. However, I ended up taking a puff anyway.
The way it felt when I inhaled just one puff felt amazing, due to the fact I was clean. It all took off again from there. Initially I was just smoking with him when I met up with him, but then I ended up meeting the dealer so I started partaking on my own.
It was all downhill from there. I'd never tell anyone what to do or what they should and should not experience, but whoever is reading this and thinking of taking heroin, please don't, unless you actually want to destroy your life.
>>5706 It is not my first time here I.te been here for a long time. There is not a single lie written here. What do you think I lie about. And what makes you think I'm new. I'm on my phone now I will address this later
The "you must be new here" was a response to your "not realising this thread was so geriatric". The entirety of .gs is renowned for its corpselike relaxed pace.
I simply wanted to call bullshit because it sounded like a whole lot of detail for one junkie, and attention-whoring through stories of drug abuse isn't exactly unknown on the Internet. I'm just a cynic.
When I mentioned not realising "this thread was so geriatric", I was referring to the age of the thread. I didn't realise it was so old.
And with regards to the detail in my writing, this is wholly due to the events within being highly significant within the past couple of years of my life, so obviously I am going to recall them with a reasonable level of accuracy.
As for calling me a junkie, well that may be, but I like to think that I am changing that now. It's only been six weeks completely drug free so I don't want to tempt providence!
And if I was attention whoring, it would not be through stories about my being a fucking junkie would it? Hardly glamorous is it, admitting to being one of the lowest of the low of today's society? If I were attention whoring there are plenty of other true stories that I could write about, such as the fact that I am quoted in a true crime, non fiction work called "Essex Boys, The New Generation", or the couple of years I was a professional identity thief fraudster and took HBOS for £2,500,000, or the time I worked for a Saudi Arabian Princess by the name of Sara bint Talal bin Abdul-Aziz al Saud and earnt a small fortune. And just a couple more besides that too.
But I am glad you found it a good read, because that obviously means that my brain is still working to a level that I can still express my thoughts coherently and my memory is still functioning.
Seriously, I was thinking of writing a book about some of the things I have experienced, I might consider writing a short story and posting it here. Would you read it if I did? It would be 100% fact seeing as I am writing it anonymously, and I would appreciate input as to the quality of the actual writing itself.
>>5711 Not that guy but as long as it was posted in /lit/ I would give it a read.
Also as someone who smoked brown for about 4-5 years I don't think your stories sound far fetched at all, I wasn't involved in but heard about far grislier shit when I was using.
Try keep off it mate. Life's much nicer without.
Thanks. Always helps to get input from someone that is in the know.
I think I am going to post something in /lit/. I would be looking for feedback on writing style and grammar etc. I am DEFINITELY staying off of "that" stuff. Since being on Suboxone, I haven't even looked back once. The stuff is a godsend. And when it comes to getting off of that, it should not be a problem due to the fact that does not give me a buzz, so my brain has not connected it with reward/pleasure so hopefully coming off should go smoothly. Much better than that fucking methadone shit. You may as well stay on smack IMO as it is only a replacement. Suboxone on the other hand does not give you a buzz or cloud the mind. It's like jumping back to reality at warp speed.
Oh, I just wanted to add that writing all this shit here has been a very cathartic experience. I often find it helps to make you feel better when you can get things out in the open.
>>5715 I find that also, especially since it's all anonymously and you're free from restraint whilst typing it.
Gives us something to read if it's interesting enough.
I enjoyed reading those stories a lot. As a 28 year old who has occasionally wondered if I would do smack if it was ever offered out in front of me, it made interesting reading.
I've had very minor experiences with opiates. Codeine, Tramadol (at least i think that's an opiate) and dried poppy pods. Strangely, I got the biggest high of the poppy pods. First time I did them, I crushed them up, did a tea and it tasted absolutely foul. I had an incredible high though which lasted into the next day. I felt incredible, so relaxed and content. I believe I experienced 'the nod', and kept sleeping for small amounts of time, feeling so warm and cozy between them. I was amazed who good i felt the next day too, still warm and calm, not groggy at all. The effect gently disappeared with no type of come down i could tell.
I enjoyed it so much i was determined to do it again, and thought about it solid. However, when i made some more, i didn't get the same effect, i just felt sick. I bought some more and again, crap effect. So i gave up with it all.
I know this is no where the same league as smack, but i guess experiencing an enjoyable opiate type high has made me at least a little curious about smack and pharmaceuticals like Oxycontin. However, it's been a while since I've done any drugs, and don't have a strong desire to go out looking for either. Not sure what i would do if i know i could get some extremely easy, especially Oxy.
>>5719 From the opiate addicts I've met, addiction to the pharmaceuticals is just as nasty and consuming as addiction to street heroin, and as difficult to come off; one bloke I knew a long time ago switched from oxy to heroin when he could no longer afford pills. I'd avoid getting a taste for opis in general if I were you.
You have had more than minor experience with opiates from what I can see from your post. Tramadol is a synthetic opioid for future reference.
You got the best buzz from the poppy pods because they are the base material from which all other opiate-based drugs are made from. They are very fucking strong and they deserve a lot of respect. People have OD'd from poppy pods before, they are no joke.
I have used poppy pods as a detox method before. You could call them a substitute for methadone, even. They are very long acting indeed.
With regards to your desire to seek out opiates, I would say that this is a very strong effect caused by your (at the time) recent consumption of them. They are a strange drug group. Taking an opiate will make you feel sick but you will still want to do it again. This is also evidenced in your post.
Opiates will make you feel very good, yes. But they WILL DEFINITELY make you feel very bad. Think of them like this; they are like a credit card where you can take and feel good sensations in advance, but you have to pay them back and balance the books with equipotent bad feelings. To deepen the analogy, you could also compare this with a government debt, like council tax. All other debts can be avoided, but this fucker will follow you everywhere, and you WILL pay it back.
If you no longer have the desire, forget it. You have experienced all there is to experience, especially if you have experiences the nod. It is all downhill from then on in. Your memories of heroin will not be tainted by the stark reality that is addiction because you have only seen one side of the coin, and it's best kept that way too.
Yeah I came off twice using subutex/suboxone. It's definitely a better alternative than methadone all of the smackheads I knew who got on it basically never got off, and just used on top. The good thing about subs other than them being hard to catch a decent buzz off is they're half opioid blocker or whatever so it's not even worth doing any gear.
Saying all that it's not a pain free withdrawal. It's not nearly as harsh as just stopping brown suddenly if you're doing a lot but I think it tends to last longer although I only know that anecdotally as I've never come straight off brown. It did seem to drag on though. Just saying don't expect no WDs whatsoever, they're tolerable though in my opinion.
Also the second and hopefully final time I came off(been like 6 maybe even 7 years clean) I didn't go through official channels, I just bought a load of subs off some bloke and slowly tapered to almost nothing over the course of 4 months or so. I found when I went through my local drug services(the first time) it was a fucking pain in the arse. Supervised consumption plus not having any control over how fast you taper, they generally seem to want people to stay on maintenance for as long as possible. But horses for courses and all that I realise it works for some people, I just found it easier to do myself.
Also also while we're doing junkie chat, the worst I ever fucking felt whilst using was when I took some subutex too early when the heroin hadn't left my system. Jesus fucking christ that was horrible, tried to have a bath, by the time I got out I knew I was in deep shit. Managed to stumble to my dealer shaking, shivering, sneezing eyes watering etc basically a fucking wreck, waiting in some pissy stairwell for this cunt to turn up, got like 9 bags and just burnt through them trying to overpower the blocker(naloxone?), after all the bags I still felt like absolute shit, shivering, running nose and just 'that fucking feeling' of deeply deeply physically needing something to take the pain away. Was fucked.
Anyway so glad I'm not in that place anymore, It's nice being a sort of normal person and just going to the pub with mates and having a laugh and stuff.
Sorry for the long rambling post, hope some of the suboxone stuff is vaguely useful to know. Best of luck mate.
Hey there, thanks for the reply and the info within.
I know what you mean about addiction services, they do seem to want you to stay with them for a long time. I think that this is to with money and referral fees earned by chemists et al. But that's another story altogether eh?
I like the subs for the reasons you mention, ie: the blocking effect that they seem to have on other opiates. Sorry to hear that you experienced precipitated withdrawal. Fucking nasty stuff ain't it?
By the way, Subutex does NOT have the chemical blocker called Naloxone in them. Suboxone however does have this. It is a bit of a con really, let me explain why. The naloxone in Suboxone is not active when taken correctly, ie sublingually, but if you snort or inject it, it is definitely active then. BUT the buprenorphine, which is the active ingredient in these drugs has a HIGHER affinity for the mu receptor than the actual naloxone. Apparently it is designed this was to make more money. However, if you take this drug intravenously with heroin or other opiates in your system you will go into precipitated withdrawals due to the naloxone. Naloxone is the same stuff that they use to bring people round from opiate overdose. BUT due to buprenorphine having a higher affinity for the mu receptor, the naloxone is ineffective if being used to combat the effects of a buprenorphone overdose.
The stuff is a godsend though, this is my first time using it through addiction services. I, like yourself first went down the black market route but ended up using again after a couple of months because I was not mentally ready to kick the habit. Now I am with addiction services i have not given a single dirty piss test. This is mainly because of pride. I would feel embarrassed if I gave a dirty sample and would feel like a let down, so that psychological factor seems to be helping. All said though, when it comes to giving up, no matter what substitute is prescribed, you will not succeed unless you have the correct frame of mind to do so.
When I read the part of your post that says, "waiting in some pissy starwell", it reminded me of why I have given up. That whole cycle of clucking and then scoring etc and all of the baggage that comes with it. I don't want to sound like any kind of snob, but ugh, the fucking people you meet in the brown game are just fucking awful, don't you think??
I am glad to hear that you are off and doing well. You are right when you say it's nice being a sort of normal person. I have really come back to life in the past few weeks and I'm geting a kick out of just doing normal stuff. I've just been to Morrisons and had a "big breakfast" and I felt like a king doing so, whereas normally I would have been to the cash machine, and then straight to the dealer and then plunging a fucking long "blue" needle into my femoral vein in my groin and then proceed to sit about the flat all day scratching myself like a flea bitten dog!
>>5729 >I don't want to sound like any kind of snob, but ugh, the fucking people you meet in the brown game are just fucking awful, don't you think??
Yeah, you meet some incredibly scummy fuckers and all around shady people. Not surprising given the nature of the drug or at least the consequences of criminalising it but that's a whole other discussion.
I generally tried to stay out of my local "scene" as much as possible while I was using, I was still holding down a job for most of the time so didn't get too involved in having to make a raise and shit. Still inevitably end up in some silly situations ie waiting around in pissy stairwells at 1 in the morning in the middle of winter just because you need a couple of bags. It's fucking shit.
Glad the suboxone seems to be working for you lad. I remember when I got clean this last time and it was a couple months after I'd not touched anything and I went round to a mates house and just had a couple beers and a laugh with a few lads and I remember getting home and just thinking "I can't remember the last time I've actually laughed". Simple pleasures and all that.
>>5721 >Taking an opiate will make you feel sick but you will still want to do it again.
My main experience with opiates was a week in which I blitzed my way through a box of "hens and chicks" poppy pods, chasing the high that >>5719 had told me about. It was shit. I felt mildly nauseous and vaguely submerged, and that was about it; each time I figured I'd just not done enough (the recommended dose was two or three pods) so eventually I ramped up to a dozen pods per brew but it never got enjoyable. At that point I did actually throw up and decided the experiment was over.
The other times in my life I've experienced opiates I've had more or less the same response so I'm guessing they just don't agree with me. Which is fine, really, better that way.
The only opiates I've ever tried are codeine/dihydrocodeine.
With the codeine, the most I took was ~480mg (extracted, so probably a bit less) and I hardly felt anything really, though in both senses of the phrase I guess. It just made me sleep. I was pretty drunk at the time though.
Same with the dihydrocodeine. Once I took 360mg (exact, I had been prescribed the tablets with dhc only) and slept for about 15 hours. Never really remembered feeling particularly high at any point.
So yeah, they don't seem to do a lot for me either. I know these are essentially baby's first opiates, but still. I did continue to take the codeine regularly though, which I guess is kind of odd seeing as it didn't seem to do a lot for me beyond pain relief. It was good for that though, it just didn't really give me any euphoria etc.
Opiates are definitely something of an acquired taste. The pleasures and pains are rather more subtle than most other drugs, especially in modest dose. It's one of their great hazards - people often badly underestimate the life-wrecking potency of opiates because their early experiences can be underwhelming.
