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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
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>> No. 422048 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 1:00 pm
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I had a dream that I was at a self service canteen type of restaurant, in the middle of lunch service, and suddenly they closed down the counter with the hot food for no apparent reason by putting a sign over it that said "We're sorry, this counter will be closed for 45 minutes". I was a bit upset that they would do that right in front of my nose, and then I moved down the line a bit and suddenly I slipped on a bit of water on the floor and fell right on my arse. I was furious and demanded to speak to the manager, but then for some reason I woke up.

I will never know what the manager would have said to me as an excuse for the shit way his restaurant was being run.
>> No. 422050 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 2:41 pm
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I dreamed I opened a can of Monster or Relentless or some other energy drink and before even taking a first sip I was thinking it was going to be way too much and I didn't really want the whole thing.
>> No. 422055 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 12:34 am
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I'd fuck Lauren Southern at half a chance just for the kink of shagging a bloke.
>> No. 422060 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 7:04 pm
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She kind of looks like a young Britney Spears had sex with a member of the Blue Man Group.

I'm sure she gives right-wing reactionaries plenty to spaff over.
>> No. 422061 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 7:06 pm
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She is cosplaying as Samus Arran from Metroid. Do people not know Samus? I thought she was relatively well known.

fuck man.jpg
>> No. 422056 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:22 pm
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>we have to FUCK people
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>> No. 422057 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:31 pm
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U wot m8?
>> No. 422058 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 5:47 pm
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Why do we have to do that?
>> No. 422059 Anonymous
18th November 2018
Sunday 6:42 pm
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I've found the video the still's from. It doesn't shed any light.


>> No. 420674 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 5:39 pm
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Weekend thread: low sun being a cunt edition.
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>> No. 422043 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 10:01 am
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Bring water wings.
>> No. 422044 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 11:30 am
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Amazon sent me a motorcycle lift instead of a set of dumbells and weights. I'm probably just going to flog it on eBay rather than complain seeing as it retails at about a tenner more than the weights would have.
>> No. 422045 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 12:06 pm
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Remember that eBay take 10% of whatever you sell your thing for, and you probably aren't likely to get retail value for it. That'll probably wipe out that extra tenner.
>> No. 422046 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 12:25 pm
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That did occur to me, but then I checked the tracking on my weights and it says they haven't even been delivered, so now I don't know what to make of it.
>> No. 422049 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 1:16 pm
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I ordered one USB A to B cable when I was at uni, and Amazon sent me a box of 100. They didn't seem to notice so I started selling them on eBay, made about six hundred quid, cheers Jeff.

>> No. 418310 Anonymous
2nd July 2018
Monday 1:01 pm
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New week thread.

What is happening in your life?
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>> No. 421947 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 4:30 pm
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A most magnificent hound.
>> No. 421997 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 8:42 am
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>I always keep mine in the sheath,

I bet you do.
>> No. 422014 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 1:32 pm
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I am in the early stages of a cold, from what it looks like. My throat is killing me, I've got a persistent dry cough, and my nose is beginning to feel a bit stuffy.

So I just went home from work to spend the rest of the day on my couch watching all manner of silly dolescum daytime TV.
>> No. 422030 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 3:58 pm
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Just tried on a casual collared shirt that I last wore about ten years ago.

It's too tight both around my shoulders and upper back and my stomach. Owed to the fact that I have been working out the last couple of years at a gym regularly, but also been putting on a few pounds around my waist.

So weirdly, I am both more in shape and more out of shape than ten years ago.
>> No. 422031 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 9:39 pm
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For the most part, strength is mass. Outside of athletes and people taking exogenous hormones, I think it's underestimated how much effort, care, planning and consistency it takes to be both big and lean.

At least, I'd consider myself into weight training and even though I'm a very practical eater, I find it hard to do anything but seesaw between big, strong and fluffy and leaner but flatter.

>> No. 422017 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:16 pm
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Can anyone who has lived in a block of flats or who has friends who live in a block of flats tell me what methods of payment for electricity are used to provide electricity to flats?
I may be moving to a single flat in Nottingham and I am wondering whether the bills are split and averaged between several flats, or whether each flat has a prepayment meter or a traditional meter. Do I pay the electricity company directly or the owner of the building etcetera?
What have you seen?
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>> No. 422018 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:18 pm
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Usually each flat has its own meter, though depending on the development there may be a shared meter room with all the meters in.
>> No. 422019 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 10:07 pm
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Depends. In addition to the things you've mentioned you also get councils operating as utility resellers who have to follow statutory and ombudsmen guidelines as to what they charge.
>> No. 422020 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 10:25 pm
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Set monthly payment for utilities to the landlord is what I've come to expect if you're renting something small for graduates. Sounds naff but it works out as a little cheaper in my experience. Be sure to check if the internet is included as that will mean you're locked into BT shite.

Bigger flats sort out their own utilities or if it's somewhere grubby you may even find one of those coin-slot things. This is a question for the agent/landlord.
>> No. 422024 Anonymous
15th November 2018
Thursday 5:11 am
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I've not had a coin meter since 1999. I've lived here ten years and it's a credit meter. In-between it was always prepayment meters with a paypoint card. With prepayment, they always lie to you and say you owe them money too. They send you a red letter after you move out. Last time I gave them my final meter reading over the phone they said 'whoops, we accidentally switched the rate 1 and rate 2 (12pm-7am) reading and you don't owe us anything.' They used the exact same excuse with my mate too.

I've known lots of people with prepayment meter who get periodic letters saying they owe money (How? It's prepayment.) and it's not an issue because they've not moved house or switched providers. In fast, they might do it to deter people from switching providers.

>> No. 421649 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 3:44 pm
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It's about that time of year lads. How do you plan on remembering our boys?
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>> No. 422009 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 2:01 am
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Clement Freud gave a talk at my school once. He was very funny.
>> No. 422010 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 5:26 am
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When I was about eight, my parents and my friend and I were walking around a lake. I'm a bit hazy on the details since it was a very long time ago. My friend and I were in a clearing or play area off the main path and my parents somehow didn't realise we were there and continued walking on the main path and got pretty far away. I could see them and they were shouting us.

This old man came up to us and asked what happened and we told him, and I said I could see them in the distance and they were shouting, and he said those people were too far away to be them and it was someone shouting his dogs.

I guess my parents started walking back towards us without us shouting back at them. I can't remember if the old man had asked us to go anywhere with him. When they arrived, he told them he thought my dad was shouting his dogs, and he laughed and replied that was true after a sense.

I said to my parents later I thought that was extremely suspicious he was trying to persuade me that wasn't them, but they were extremely dismissive and said he was a nice old man.
>> No. 422011 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 6:16 am
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>I said to my parents later I thought that was extremely suspicious he was trying to persuade me that wasn't them

He might have just been making one of those old man jokes that you didn't pick up on. My grandad says stuff like this all the time to the younger kids in the family, weird shit like "you're not Kevin, you're Chris, don't you remember?".

Maybe he wouldn't be trying to wind up lost kids in the park though.
>> No. 422012 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 7:07 am
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No point remembering those who shall not grow old because chances are they'd have turned into elderly paedos.
>> No. 422013 Anonymous
14th November 2018
Wednesday 9:07 am
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>> No. 421445 Anonymous
30th October 2018
Tuesday 8:25 pm
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Hello I got redirected from Russian board to here.
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>> No. 421452 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 3:53 am
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Incidentally, Brazil have their own containment board which is why we don't see much of them around here. The board itself, however, is beyond tedious (I mean the moderation makes Music with a bad hangover seem like a reasonable cunt) and literally 100% of the posting population are middle-upper level middle class (think "daddy earns £1 million / year" class of people. Anyway, I've said too much).
>> No. 421455 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 4:34 pm
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That's a common name for Germany in Slavic languages. Interestingly the similar word for Germans means 'mutes', so Germany is effectively called 'land of the mutes'.
>> No. 421529 Anonymous
1st November 2018
Thursday 7:53 pm
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ай сынк зат ус ту ху кан рид сырыллык шуд тайп лайк зис ту конфюз за оза лад.
>> No. 421581 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 2:50 pm
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Oh blimey, the infamous roulette threads.
>> No. 421780 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 5:14 pm
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One of my former coworkers was from Poland, and his name was Niemiecki. Which very simply means German.

>> No. 420448 Anonymous
20th September 2018
Thursday 5:54 pm
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Right then, you moangy farts.

How do we make Britfa.gs great again? You've been whining about the lack of activity so let's have at it.
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>> No. 421568 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 1:55 pm
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>where he paid to get mentally scarred by an IRC user who, well... you get the jist.

I mean I've paid for worse to be honest.
>> No. 421572 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 2:00 pm
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>The canal pusher theory comes from here
>we were the first place I seen
Bulletproof logic.
>> No. 421575 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 2:13 pm
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We were the only place discussing it at one point, I checked at the time to see if we'd actually uncovered something. I remember us playing amatuer detective and blaming andro. It very likely did come from here and possibly from the pusher themself.
>> No. 421602 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 7:16 pm
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> I remember us playing amatuer detective and blaming andro

Her puny arms definitely lack the strength to fuck anyone over the age of say 7 or 8 into a canal. Time to blame the " "shy" bangladishi lad " imo. The insane commute would more likely to throw the rozzers off the scent.
>> No. 421603 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 7:24 pm
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For what it's worth, I'm fully capable of murder and lived in West Yorkshire during the attacks, but it wasn't me, honest.

I try not to brag about my crimes. They're always listening.

>> No. 420756 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 9:14 pm
Any ladm7s watch gore? In my day it was the secret snuff VHS which had the social implications of handling underground weapons grade uranium but now thanks to the internet you can see Mexican cartels chopping up people alive and Indians chopped in half on railway tracks.
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>> No. 421462 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 8:43 pm
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I've no idea what this is but I'd bet my house that Garth Ennis has something to do with it.
>> No. 421463 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 8:44 pm
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Yeah. Crossed "Wish you were there".
>> No. 421464 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 8:57 pm
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Not gore, but I found myself down the rabbit hole of watching "anti-Paul Joseph Watson" videos the other day.

What really fucked me off is that Septics cannot pronounce Nazi. Notzi. Posta. Kozakhstan. Holloween. They cannot properly say words where the second letter is an a.
>> No. 421466 Anonymous
31st October 2018
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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Well, they're saying that /a/ correctly. It just sounds out of place because their other /a/s are all over the place. If your pronunciation of "NAFTA" somehow has an /e/ in it you're doing it wrong.
>> No. 421477 Anonymous
1st November 2018
Thursday 10:03 am
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I loved that. Followed it from start to finish. It's a lot more than just gore.

>> No. 421268 Anonymous
16th October 2018
Tuesday 11:06 pm
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A m8 of mine delivers food in London and he wants to protect himself from youths after his steed.

He already has a massive chain and padlock but apparently it's not as effective of a weapon as it seems because of the recovery time after each defensive action when faced by multiple youths. What's his best option for an innocuous tool that he can attach to his scooter that would come in handy in an emergency?
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>> No. 421331 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 6:58 pm
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There was a moratorium on pursuing motorcycle riders after the death of Henry Hicks in 2014. That policy ended in 2017 after the four officers who pursued Hicks were cleared of gross misconduct.
>> No. 421332 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 7:42 pm
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I see, thanks.

I actually saw this on Police Interceptors, where they halted the pursuit when the rider chucked his helmet.
>> No. 421333 Anonymous
19th October 2018
Friday 7:45 pm
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Police Interceptors is like the moon landings: all filmed in a television studio. Broadcasting footage of genuine criminals would be against their "human" "rights".
>> No. 421334 Anonymous
20th October 2018
Saturday 11:45 am
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>bright pink scooter with yellow polkadots.

And the horn just goes "BLOBBYBLOOBBYBLOBBBY!!" really loudly.
>> No. 421337 Anonymous
20th October 2018
Saturday 1:47 pm
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>> No. 418197 Anonymous
27th June 2018
Wednesday 1:20 am
418197 Things which are mildly amusing but not enough to warrant their own thread.
I was in a meeting tonight and two people walked in late during a minute's silence. I was just thinking how truly weird it must have been for them to walk in and everyone was sitting there in dead silence.
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>> No. 419691 Anonymous
19th August 2018
Sunday 5:25 pm
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Your mum is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
>> No. 419698 Anonymous
20th August 2018
Monday 12:49 am
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Your mum is so fat, time slows down when you get near her.
>> No. 421059 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 5:16 am
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I was at a meeting yesterday with someone called Peter Knight.
>> No. 421149 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 8:44 pm
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I work with a French guy, often after hanging up on customers he quietly signs off with "off you fuck".
>> No. 421183 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 7:33 pm
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I was at a company retreat once where somebody from another office introduced himself as Richard Ryder.

He insisted on being called Richard.

>> No. 420703 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 12:10 pm
420703 Kids
How does .gs feel about children? It's a topic I don't think I've ever seen discussed on here before.

Not that it's remotely on the cards for me right now, but I really don't want children of my own, at least not right now, which is odd, because about a year or two a go I felt basically the opposite. I think my initial "I would like kids" feeling came about after worrying that if I left it too late I'd up with old man spaff that would produce a terrible, half porpoise child, but that's not really a problem if you don't have them to begin with.
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>> No. 421131 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 8:54 pm
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My daughter's brought home a letter about a school trip. £235 for a two night residential. Fuck sake. She's only in Year 4.
>> No. 421133 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 9:01 pm
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Bill Bryson:

>When I made reference to someone in Britain attending a state school, an American researcher said to me: "But I didn't think they had states in Britain."

>"I meant state in the rather broader sense of nation state."

>"So you mean public schools?"

>"Well, no, because public schools in Britain are private schools."

>Long pause. "You're kidding."

>"It's a well-known fact."

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>> No. 421134 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 9:24 pm
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They seem to be doing stuff like that a lot younger nowadays. Same with proms and leavers hoodies. It's weird seeing primary school kids doing this stuff that people wouldn't be doing until they were 16. Maybe I'm just jealous I missed out on all that stuff.
>> No. 421135 Anonymous
9th October 2018
Tuesday 9:32 pm
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Her brother's at a different school and the only time he had a residential trip was in Year 6, which was about £265 for three nights. Then again, he's off to France with Scouts next year and that's £300 for a full week.

I've got the feeling her school do a longer residential trip in Year 6. Fuck sake.
>> No. 421145 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 3:27 pm
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In my humble opinion, Bill Bryson's exhaustive research into trivial 'that's interesting' things is easily and objectively the most boring thing anyone has ever written. Besides asoiaf.

>> No. 420986 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 7:41 pm
420986 The year is 2018 and a new dance craze is sweeping the globe, this isn't it Locked
No one else has posted this anywhere yet so I thought I would shitfuck the board up a bit.

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>> No. 421082 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 6:21 pm
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Someone screaming that what we're chatting about somehow "doesn't count" whilst contributing absolutely nothing relevant to the topic certainly helps.
>> No. 421084 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 7:08 pm
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>For what it's worth, "sensible politicians" lad didn't credibly back up his assertions either.
Exactly which assertions were those?
>> No. 421094 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 10:44 am
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If you think showing your working is more important than getting the right answer in something as ad-hoc as politics, you can bugger off.
>> No. 421095 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 1:32 pm
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How exactly do you propose to know you've got the right answer?
>> No. 421096 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 2:15 pm
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It is arguably the single most important thing when it comes to anything not black and white. Showing your working is how you justify yourself and exhibit that you've used reason and logic to reach your conclusion.

This thread is now beyond irredeemable. Congratulations, you cunts. You're exiled to /pol/. Again.

>> No. 420821 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 9:39 pm
420821 Uncle Boris
I've seen Boris Johnson while strolling through Birmingham, he was directing a pitiful Remain rally. I never thought that he was so short, he's even shorter than me and grotesquely obese. Also, he acts and speaks like a retard. There were two (2) armed security agents with him, but they were more interested in chatting with the tourists than in guarding him. He just looked like an useless, obese, mentally damaged old uncle, the one that you pretend to listen to in a family gathering to humour him. He just looked obsolete, useless, the kind of person that will be forgotten five minutes after his funeral, it's difficult to explain. Sage for bad English and confused thought patterns.
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>> No. 420974 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 12:18 pm
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I have a friend who works in the treasury and described George Osborne as a smug cocky wanker when he was giving a speech to the staff.
>> No. 420975 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 12:34 pm
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He wasn't wrong.
>> No. 420977 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 2:21 pm
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One of my friends used to work part time for a catering service, and one time, they were hired for a campaign event for Gordon Brown's 2010 election campaign. He got to meet Gordon Brown in person in the VIP area, where Gordon Brown had a quick chat with all the staff. My friend said he quite honestly never met a person who was as dull, boring and wooden as him.
>> No. 420978 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 4:17 pm
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I hope this is real because it genuinely made me laugh too.
>> No. 420984 Anonymous
3rd October 2018
Wednesday 6:50 pm
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I promise you it's real. I'd be very surprised if I didn't post about it on here back then. I think was two or three years ago.

He does seem to still love the film though, he posts references to it on his social media and likes all the related comments.

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