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>> No. 424669 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:35 pm
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Weekend thread: bangers and mash edition.

If that lad with all the instant mash is about then I may have a business proposition for him; I went a bit overboard buying wholesale bags of Quorn sausages from Farmfoods.
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>> No. 425396 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 3:07 am
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I ate some mushrooms and went to a fetish club on my own. It went as you might expect.
>> No. 425399 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 6:39 am
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I would wager there is also paracetamol in there, and obviously too much of that won't end well for you at all. Check the label before you neck anything, unless you're really after a very painful death.
>> No. 425400 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 6:59 am
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>a very painful death
The irony.
>> No. 425401 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 8:20 am
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A terrible waste.
>> No. 425402 Anonymous
24th March 2019
Sunday 11:57 am
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I think the lad in the National Action thread was right when he said that young people used to find their tribe, or attempt to fit into one, based on specific genres of music whereas nowadays, particularly with the affect the internet has had on social interactions, people are increasingly getting a sense of community and belonging from political ideologies.

I suppose with Watson she was always going to get her head rotted by Hollywood luvvies. Not everyone can be as level headed as Grint or a raging alcoholic like Radcliffe.

>> No. 425247 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 1:45 pm
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New mid-week thread.

I've got the feeling I was meant to look something up but I can't remember what and it's bugging me.
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>> No. 425372 Anonymous
21st March 2019
Thursday 5:57 pm
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It breaks down into roughly one-third things I'll achieve simply by turning up, one-third things I was planning on implementing anyway and one-third things that are largely outside of my control and depend on the overall performance of the company. There's nothing that'll require me buzzing around like a blue-arsed fly.
>> No. 425373 Anonymous
21st March 2019
Thursday 6:17 pm
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Would the lump sum payment be conditional on each of the targets being achieved?

Depending on whether they know their arse from their elbow at your work or not, the safer bet may be to opt for the ad hoc payment and then just trusting yourself to transfer it into a different account or hide it under the floorboards until you are ready to splash out.
>> No. 425374 Anonymous
21st March 2019
Thursday 7:26 pm
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It's not conditional on meeting them all.
>> No. 425376 Anonymous
22nd March 2019
Friday 8:41 am
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I would get that bit in writing then lad. Agree with other posters caution about OTE, it's just another form of zero hours work, for sales people.
>> No. 425381 Anonymous
22nd March 2019
Friday 12:10 pm
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Not just sales people. I took a job with about ten grand tied to profit targets, and about a month into the job they raised those targets significantly - a 10% raise in GP targets. For context they were essentially asking me to find an extra 30k a week in profit, overnight.

I don't think they moved the goalposts specifically to fleece me, they just were being daft with their projections. But nonetheless it was basically a pay cut so I left. The sad irony being I probably capable of hitting that target, that sort of thing has been the foundation of my career. If they'd paid me the extra ten grand as regular salary I'd have happily done it, or at least tried very hard to do it. But instead I wandered off within my probation period.

>> No. 425195 Anonymous
17th March 2019
Sunday 12:08 pm
425195 thinking
What is the best thing you have learnt from this, or similar, sites?

I guess one should ask the worst, too.
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>> No. 425355 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 7:55 pm
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Best and worst things to learn from this site? Probably exactly which qualities in my fellow shitposters make them absolutely untenable candidates for long-term relationships, and which ones can lead to a successful marriage.

Three years, babe. Love you.
>> No. 425356 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 8:27 pm
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I don't remember this, at all.
>> No. 425357 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 8:30 pm
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Just listen to Necro's "Dead Body Disposal" for a basic recap.
>> No. 425359 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 8:50 pm
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I moved into student housing my second semester, and we had our own subnet server on which we could share folders. I downloaded ludicrous amounts of music, but also stand up comedy and other material off other people's folders. There was an American studentlad living in the same building who had plenty of George Carlin and Chris Rock audio stand up material in his folder, and that was pretty much the first time I heard of either of the two. Movies in decent quality were few and far between around the subnet, and this being the days of 100 Mbit intranet bandwidth shared by up to 255 users, file transfers could be slow at peak times. But with our own T2 line to the outside world and file sharing clients slowly gaining a following, you had all the movies you wanted at your disposal off the Internet. Well, until student housing informed us of new copyright guidelines that both commanded server admins to block most HTTP ports used for filesharing, and meant that we had to sign agreements that we would not use the subnet server or the Internet connection to violate copyright laws regarding films and music. And that was kind of when all the fun stopped. By then I was just a month away from moving out, but it kind of ruined the fun for everybody else. Enforcement of the new rules was hit and miss I was told, but you could risk losing all user privileges.

Self sage for derailing the thread. Do talk more about what you've learnt on here.
>> No. 425360 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 9:26 pm
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Walk quietly among other men but know their power for they are your enemies; quietly crush them as you work diligently through the night. Pay attention to the man behind the curtain for he is your ally. Drink deeply and lustfully from the foamy draught of evil. Do it to the other guy before he does it to you. Generally just be bad to the bone.

Thanks ladm8s

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>> No. 425340 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 8:05 am
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Hypothetically speaking, would it be legal to download the video of the Christchurch shooting?

(A good day to you Sir!)
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>> No. 425341 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 9:28 am
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I could give you the answer but the lack of honesty of your post sickens me.

I don't know why people think saying stupid phrases before what they intend somehow removes culpability.
>> No. 425342 Anonymous
20th March 2019
Wednesday 10:35 am
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Not sure why you would want to, but why would it be illegal? There are death and shock videos all over the web. We are not in the dark ages of the video nasty era anymore.

>> No. 425307 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 4:02 pm
425307 A picture is worth a thousand words
Anyone seen this before or know where it was taken?
That's evelyn de rotschild poking charlie in the chest btw - seriously, who could get away with this?
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>> No. 425316 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 5:51 pm
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"I fucked Diana, I fucked Camilla and I fucked your mum."
>> No. 425318 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 5:59 pm
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>> No. 425323 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 10:32 pm
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Not the first time ol' Charlie got fingered. Allegedly.
>> No. 425324 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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Someone else was his tampon?
>> No. 425327 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 11:01 pm
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He's clearly about to do this, and Charlie is having none of it.


>> No. 424829 Anonymous
7th March 2019
Thursday 10:33 pm
424829 Such a great image
Almost poetic.
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>> No. 425230 Anonymous
17th March 2019
Sunday 9:05 pm
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Is that you, author of How to Lose Friends and Not Influence People?
>> No. 425297 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 8:24 am
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I repeat call centre jockies' names back to them when I greet them - semi-sincerely because I know they are only instructed to tell us their name, but I bet hardly anyone else remembers what it is when they are told it so what's the point otherwise.
>> No. 425300 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 11:28 am
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If you have a problem, it's good to know the name of the person you spoke to, so I make a note, and acknowledge their name. At the end of the call, I thank them by name for their time. If it's a complaint, I remind them that it's not personal. It also helps me remember that behind the script there's an actual person, and the poor sod has probably had to put up with all kinds of bullshit from other callers. I'm not naive or self-centred enough to think it'll be the highlight of their day, but I would like to think I haven't made their day any worse.
>> No. 425302 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 12:39 pm
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When I have to ring another company at work I always take a note of the name of the other person at the other end of the line; often you can tell they're pleased you remembered their name if use it later on in the conversation. I mainly do it because I'm primarily ringing life companies like Prudential so I'm talking to young Scottish lasses and their accent seriously gives me the horn.
>> No. 425303 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 12:54 pm
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This is probably the right way about it, but there are some absolute Carnegie Cunts as t'otherlad puts it, the sort of person who'll try to crowbar your name into every other sentence. That sort of shit makes me rapidly dislike someone, it's obvious they're just trying to be manipulative.

What Carnegie said about using people's names in terms of naming projects or whatever after them to make them more motivated to do the work relating to them well sounds like decent advice however.

>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
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>> No. 425282 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 10:46 pm
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It's a gaming mouse, so it's marketed as such, they put the numbers rather than just printing the numpad because the latter would probably look odd from a gaming perspective. You want 12 programmable buttons, not a plus and minus button, and someone looking at it might assume that's their only input function if they were labelled as such. I think this way makes sense in the context of it being sold as an MMO mouse.
>> No. 425283 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 10:49 pm
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The original Naga had a switch on the bottom of the mouse to change the mode, the current one (with the interchangeable button panels) seems to be numpad by default. At least mine is. It's all done in software, so I suppose it just depends how you have your profile set up at this point, perhaps it's churlish to suggest there even is a default mode.
>> No. 425284 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 11:06 pm
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There's also a zoom function and I have one of the buttons set up as CTRL+F, I can't really remember what the other buttons do.
>> No. 425285 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 11:32 pm
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I thought F didn't work.
>> No. 425286 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 11:41 pm
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That's just on the keyboard.

>> No. 423717 Anonymous
21st January 2019
Monday 9:10 pm
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How'd you lot find Blue Monday then? Apparently today was the most depressing day of the year and Maccies is giving out free cheeseburgers to stop us all offing ourselves.

I thought it was a bit shit. Not gonna lie.
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>> No. 424067 Anonymous
7th February 2019
Thursday 3:27 am
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Chartering a private jet at short notice is very much a thing. There is an entire industry set up to get wealthy people from anywhere to anywhere as quickly as possible in the lap of luxury. Sticking a £15m asset on a knackered plane being flown by someone without a commercial license is, to say the least, a questionable decision.
>> No. 424245 Anonymous
16th February 2019
Saturday 11:42 am
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There is a whole "underground" market for taking plane trips in small planes that skirt around the usual compliance requirements for operating aircraft commercially. It is based around whether or not the plane owners, or the pilot, are receiving commercial reward for the flight, or whether it is just done for reasonable expenses. It's a slightly grey area of legislation that has been exploited to the maximum. Additionally in this case there are big questions around the ownership of the plane, its US registration and the US-flagged license that the pilot was flying on - he almost certainly wasn't correctly license for flying a plane of that type, at night, in bed weather. I'm sure this will all come out, in detail in the AIIB report - they are very thorough.

See: Wingly for an example

I expect this crash will result in the CAA changing the regulations around what private pilots can and can't do - its going to get even murkier post-Brexit as our laws (and pilot licensing) will be out of line with Europe. It's quite possible post-Brexit without any changes, that private pilots (and UK-registered General Aviation aircraft) will have a difficult time flying across the channel.
>> No. 424289 Anonymous
16th February 2019
Saturday 8:42 pm
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I hope you've been stockpiling!
>> No. 424290 Anonymous
16th February 2019
Saturday 8:59 pm
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>> No. 425236 Anonymous
17th March 2019
Sunday 11:18 pm
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>> No. 425159 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 12:53 am

May he have plenty of proper sex with girls in Heaven
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>> No. 425160 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 9:12 am
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This is really scraping the barrel in terms of celebrity deaths.

>> No. 425161 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 9:52 am
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>> No. 425173 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 9:41 am
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Don't lad me just coz use a sadlad.
>> No. 425174 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 9:46 am
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Don't lad the sadlad just because use a madlad.
>> No. 425177 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 11:53 am
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I'z a madlad but not a mad madlad, i didn't lad the sadlad, the sadlad lad me, lad.

>> No. 423594 Anonymous
15th January 2019
Tuesday 5:12 pm
423594 Mid-week thread
New mid-week thread for the new year.

What is, or isn't happening in your life, .gs?
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>> No. 425137 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 5:59 pm
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> she makes noises that she's enjoying her food
That he did too, in addition to chewing audibly. I don't even want to remind it myself.
Seems you're in hell right now, laddie.
>> No. 425151 Anonymous
14th March 2019
Thursday 5:35 pm
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My girlfriend and I have been thinking about moving for a while and I've spent a few days just driving around aimlessly finding nice looking areas and that sort of thing.

When I suggested a lovely place overlooking the river and right next to the marina, I mentioned it separately to my girlfriend, my mother, and my closest friend, and they all said almost exactly the same thing - "Yeah but you'll end up spending loads of money on a boat, won't you?"

I don't know where I gained this reputation for being such a financially irresponsible prick enthusiastic, broad minded hobbyist, but I'm not sure I enjoy being so predictable. They're completely right, too, I had already looked up docking fees.

My girlfriend wants to either move to the seafront or closer to the airport, I'm not sure she appreciates just how far my sickness goes, though. I'll either be lost at sea or have a pilots license by the end of the year.

As an aside, I've always held the probably innacurate idea that living on the seafront is a nightmare in terms of your house rotting away from rust and saltwater erosion. But the view would be nice. But then so would being able to walk to the airport.
>> No. 425152 Anonymous
14th March 2019
Thursday 6:01 pm
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If the seawater doesn't ruin everything, the seagull plop will. Also, after recently revisiting the seaside town where I grew up (and hadn't lived for about ten years), the first thing I noticed was that the sea STINKS.
>> No. 425156 Anonymous
14th March 2019
Thursday 10:46 pm
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Which seaside town?
>> No. 425158 Anonymous
15th March 2019
Friday 12:01 am
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>Which seaside town?


>> No. 424490 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 5:23 pm
424490 Speed Dating
Any of the you lads tried speed dating before? Any tips or stories to share?

I'm thinking of giving it a go as I moved to London recently and haven't had much luck with meeting women through friends-of-friends. I must admit though, the thought of scorecards is a bit unsettling but maybe it's a sign of the more serious searching for a partner that I should be doing. Will give you an update if I find the bottle for it.
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>> No. 425111 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:29 pm
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>Oh, is that it? I thought it was people who got off on being smothered.

That's also a thing, where they just sort of sit on you so you can't breathe. It's hot if you're into that sort of thing.

The effect is pronounced enough when my 7st girlfriend does it, I can't even imagine a massive woman doing it, I'd probably just feel like I was definitely going to die.
>> No. 425112 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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I've been told to correct that my girlfriend is 8st 2, so "they don't think I'm anorexic"
>> No. 425113 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:44 pm
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I'd imagine it's smellier with a hefty lass.
>> No. 425114 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 9:30 pm
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Pardon the interruption but there's a nice lass I met who would like to go out on another date. I thought that maybe my matches had simply ticked everyone but I guess there's a 3-day rule on these things. Speed-dating can work it seems.

Anyway, bit of a /map/ question but does anyone know a decent idea for a date around Croydon? The area is a bit out of my way but she came all the way down for the speed-dating so I thought maybe I'd return the favour. Google is proving rather challenging with the question and it might be a bit weird to ask a girl out and then ask her to suggest the venue.

Oh, and:
Don't wear a suit. You'll look like a dickhead and everyone will ask if you've just finished work.
>> No. 425138 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 6:02 pm
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>If you want to know what my upper limit is, I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap. 100% worth it.

Jesus lad. Well each to their own. Also what do you think of this:


>> No. 425024 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:44 am
425024 Wake up
You fall unconscious for a week.

You wake up and see these people looking down at you.

What do you do?
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>> No. 425029 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:31 am
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Probably seek some water fast, If I haven't already died of dehydration.
>> No. 425033 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 9:26 am
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Probably ban OP for crossposting again.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 425035 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 9:43 am
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You're meant to report posts rather than whine people should be banned.
>> No. 425102 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:33 pm
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Who are these people?
>> No. 425115 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 9:33 pm
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Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 14.46.04.png
>> No. 424260 Anonymous
16th February 2019
Saturday 2:46 pm
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Lads, this might be actual science at work.
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>> No. 424611 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 7:01 pm
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It was the former, yes. However, I do actually like Cross.
>> No. 424613 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 7:28 pm
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If they have trouble with your accent, just give them a quick ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT and see how they respond.
>> No. 424935 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 10:44 pm
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why is the southeast made out of pizza?
>> No. 424965 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 12:22 pm
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The streets are paved with ham and pineapple down here lad.
>> No. 424966 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 12:26 pm
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Italian immigration innit. That's how they build their cities.

>> No. 423374 Anonymous
4th January 2019
Friday 10:04 pm
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New weekend thread. First weekend of the year edition.

How's it going, lads?
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>> No. 424746 Anonymous
5th March 2019
Tuesday 6:05 pm
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Around Wakefield.
>> No. 424758 Anonymous
6th March 2019
Wednesday 7:23 pm
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Can we do something about there being a midweek thread and two separate weekend threads?

I was sceptical about the need to break a general 'how's your week going' thread into week and weekend, but three just seems too much.
>> No. 424759 Anonymous
6th March 2019
Wednesday 7:32 pm
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Stop using this weekend thread and post in the new weekend thread? Only on weekends, obviously.
>> No. 424760 Anonymous
6th March 2019
Wednesday 7:32 pm
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You've bumped the old one, for a start.

ATTN ALL: please continue your slandering of Wakefield etc in the new Bangers and Mash weekend thread. As you were.
>> No. 424761 Anonymous
6th March 2019
Wednesday 7:35 pm
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He seems a bit one note, if you'll excuse the pun.

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