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>> No. 450389 Anonymous
4th April 2022
Monday 8:11 am
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New weekday thread: Zool edition.
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>> No. 452400 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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I had one of those Refresher lollipops earlier, at work. I opened it up, and it immediately fell on the office carpet. I picked it up (three-second rule) and looked at it, and it looked fine so I put it in my mouth. After about a minute, I had sucked and chewed it down and found a sharp, stonelike substance embedded in it, like a tiny piece of gravel. Revolted and horrified, I threw it in the bin. But I had checked it after dropping it, and it was fine. Where did this small hard object come from?

Anyway, I have just discovered that a filling is missing from one of my teeth. Fuck.
>> No. 452401 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 10:29 pm
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Well did you find out where the grit came from? Don't leave us in suspense.
>> No. 452402 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 10:33 pm
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The grit was the filling. Sorry; I tried to tell the story so that would be the plot twist.
>> No. 452403 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 10:52 pm
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Honeycomb or cinder toffee?
>> No. 452404 Anonymous
7th July 2022
Thursday 5:51 am
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My neighbours are on holiday, so I've wheeled their empty bin out and put my own excess rubbish in it. This felt incredibly transgressive.

>> No. 425684 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 11:36 pm
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So am I the only one who is getting a bit annoyed by this whole Greta Thunberg cult, or am I just too much of a cold hearted cynic that the world would be better off without?

I don't doubt the legitimate concern of her generation over climate change, after all it will fall to them to sort out the utter fucking mess that we have left the planet in, but all the awards that she is now being showered with are IMO just middle aged and old people's guilt over their own failure to save the planet's climate despite having had decades of prior warning, and who lost their way and succumbed to high carbon footprint consumerism somewhere between 1990s road protest villages and today's school runs in a 4x4. None of it feels sincere or genuine, it's more like, yeah, just take all these awards and shut the hell up already.

And parents whose children now protest every Friday or so are now engaging in pissing matches on twitter and Instagram to show off which one of their kids gets the most involved. As one commenter said, nothing good has ever come of a youth protest movement that was applauded by parents.
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>> No. 452389 Anonymous
5th July 2022
Tuesday 3:36 pm
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Guess we're going to have to speed up our fusion reactor research to maintain any kind of edge on them in the future.


>A prototype fusion energy plant could bring huge economic benefits to the region - potentially generating more than £1b in gross value added (GVA), an economic report has concluded.

>If the proposed site to host the plant near Goole in East Yorkshire is given the go-ahead by the Government, it could also create more than 8,000 jobs during the manufacture and construction of the prototype power plant.
>> No. 452390 Anonymous
5th July 2022
Tuesday 4:21 pm
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Turns out that nearly a year ago we had a report that found UK space based solar power both technically and economically feasible too. One would've thought it would be bigger news with our greenlads.
>> No. 452391 Anonymous
5th July 2022
Tuesday 4:57 pm
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That's nice. Though in fairness we could have just gone all in on nuclear, and as long as we put the stations in East Yorkshire it would be totally risk free. The place already makes Chernobyl look welcoming.


One day you'll post something that actually exists. Points for effort though m8.
>> No. 452392 Anonymous
5th July 2022
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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Also, the wind from any nuclear incident would blow over the open North Sea. Maybe Norway would catch some of it, but not many people live there anyway.
>> No. 452393 Anonymous
6th July 2022
Wednesday 6:32 am
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City of Culture 2017, mate, you're just jealous.

>> No. 452363 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 12:04 pm
452363 Nakiri recommendations
I bought a nakiri about a decade ago and it went missing with a big move 3 years ago and I've missed it ever since. It's just nice having something like a nakiri that can do practically everything and have excellent control, sharpness and accuracy.
I've decided it's nigh time to get a new one, any cheflads/enthusiastic cooks out there to recommend one? As it's a big investment for something that'll last, I'm not shying away from the £100 upper barrier. Ta.
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>> No. 452371 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 6:55 pm
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This is a boring answer, but my Wusthof nakiri I swear by, but I've used Wusthof all though my cheflad career, so perhaps it's more familiarity than anything else.

In general for Japanese style knives my first reccomendation would be Shun, but they're definitely over budget. Seki would be my next recommend, they're make by the same people as Shun (Kai) but are a little more affordable. They have a traditional look but a lot of modern techniques go into making them. They're very nice.

I have zero experience with the sort of knife you posted, with the super decorative handles, Damascus style blades and so on, but I've always been a little suspicious of them - to me they feel like they probably put form over function, but I have no hands on experience so really can't say for sure.

I also have a lot of time for ProCook. Their X50 range is ludicrously high quality for the price, and they last forever - they're definitely designed to live in professional kitchens. They do a posh damascus one now, I'm sure it's good, but I've only ever used their X50 stuff.
>> No. 452375 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 8:12 pm
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Controversial answer: get a vegetable knife (菜刀 - càidāo) from your local Chinese supermarket. It's basically a massive nakiri with a deeper blade, which also allows you to use it like a fish slice to transfer food to the pan. It looks a bit like a western meat cleaver, but the blade is much thinner with a finer bevel angle.

It's the only knife that most Chinese chefs and cooks use, so economies of scale mean that you can get a good one for about £20-£30. The cheap catering-grade knives look a bit rough, but they're made of good steel and will last a lifetime.
>> No. 452376 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 8:29 pm
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Yeah, this is the general sort of oriental cleaver I'm after, not quite so fussed about how it looks, more if it's suitable to act as a paddle to move food from the chopping board to pan/pot after doing some fine, good chopping, but I am still open to the £100 mark.

Heard good things about the Wusthof blades, I think the one I had in the past was another German brand nakiri from TK Maxx that I got for about £30 ~10 years ago, so I would imagine it would've been around the £70 mark.

I'll give it a fortnight of thought to make an informed decision. Cheers so far!
>> No. 452377 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 8:54 pm
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>Damascus style blades and so on, but I've always been a little suspicious of them - to me they feel like they probably put form over function
In theory they're putting the hard steel at the cutting edge and soft steel around the outside to make it strong and tough.
Great on a big sword or machete you're going to be chopping deer antlers up with, on a little kitchen knife though, ehhh probably is a bit of form over function. Perhaps a good damascus knife can be made much thinner without sacrificing strength which would be good for japanese style knives, but the cheaper ones probably aren't made that well.
Indirectly, damascus does at least serve as visual evidence that the steel is forged and has been extensively worked from the billet. This is very good for the properties of the knife although you don't necessarily need it to be damascus to get these benefits.

>> No. 452373 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 7:13 pm
452373 Why are Americans so stupid?
Lowbrow "humor" like this appeals to them
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>> No. 452374 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 7:49 pm
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I think raking over every stupid internet meme is beneath me. Will not be partaking in this thread.

Marg bar Amerika.

>> No. 450297 Anonymous
1st April 2022
Friday 2:33 pm
450297 We're saved
She's dead
The food shortage is over
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>> No. 452364 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 12:46 pm
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Why do you always have to bring his mum into it?
>> No. 452365 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 2:59 pm
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Yo momma so fat, the userbase of dot gee ess fancies her.

Anyway, while we're on the subject, why are women more likely to be fat than men? I propose it's because women are less capable of self responsibility, which we have already firmly established to be the root cause of fat.
>> No. 452366 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 3:45 pm
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It's all biblical innit, the first thing Eve did was stuff her face without thinking of the consequences.
Us blokes should set about finding Eden again and asking that big flaming sword of a doorman if we can get back in since it wasn't our fault we broke the rules, a fat bird put us up to it while we were in a state of diminished capacity.
>> No. 452367 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 4:53 pm
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Why does it have to be the fault of too much food, rather than not enough exercise? Society is undeniably more sedentary than it used to be. And while I absolutely could not ever walk my way to abs, it's worth considering that it's harder to eat while pushing a hoop down a cobbled street with a stick than it is to eat while watching TikTok in your bedroom.
>> No. 452368 Anonymous
4th July 2022
Monday 5:41 pm
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We're definitely less active than previous generations, but it takes a remarkably high level of physical activity to seriously shift the balance of calories. It's very easy to eat way too much and very hard to substantially increase your caloric expenditure.

You need to walk a mile to burn off the calories in a single chocolate digestive. If (as a lot of people do) you think nothing of scoffing half a packet of biccies over the course of an evening, nothing short of getting a job as a hod carrier is going to redress the balance. A single chocolate digestive per day in excess of your calorie requirements amounts to half a stone per year of weight gain.

My diet consists mostly of tea, rollies and half-eaten sandwiches, but for normal people it's incredibly hard to maintain a healthy weight in our current food culture. There are too many cheap and tasty treats on offer, too many inducements to eat, too many well-meaning people who foist food on others out of a misguided sense of generosity.

>> No. 450329 Anonymous
2nd April 2022
Saturday 5:24 am
450329 New Weekend Thread
How's it going, lads?

What are you up to this weekend?
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>> No. 452334 Anonymous
3rd July 2022
Sunday 2:49 pm
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hot, humid mid summer day?
Best grow some wings and hide under a paving slab, antm8s.
>> No. 452335 Anonymous
3rd July 2022
Sunday 2:50 pm
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Angela Rayner is peng.
>> No. 452342 Anonymous
3rd July 2022
Sunday 5:08 pm
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Keir Starmer's probably staying as close to her as possible because at least he knows she's definitely a woman.

And if he loves LGBTQIA+ activism so much, they've really missed a trick by not calling him Queer Starmer.
>> No. 452343 Anonymous
3rd July 2022
Sunday 5:33 pm
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Well thank you for reminding me that whilst Labour's messaging has been weak these past couple of years, it could have been much worse.
>> No. 452346 Anonymous
3rd July 2022
Sunday 6:31 pm
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Is he a queer charmer or a queer harmer? We'll never know.

Also, if you were busy thinking of a political dig rather than enjoying that magnificent hourglass figure, you should probably check to see if you've dropped your gay card.

>> No. 426868 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 5:49 pm
426868 Dream Thread Mk. II
Fitter when she was fat edition.

You know the drill lads. Here are a few helpful links in order to help you further your proficiency at dreaming, and hopefully elevate the quality of discussion about our nocturnal adventures:



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>> No. 451680 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 11:29 pm
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There's something quite likeable about her as the Fanny Godmother, giving out advice like some kind of menstrual Martin Lewis.

Also, why are all the other women incredibly skinny? Did they hire actors in their twenties to represent adolescents? Is there some kind of one-BBW-per-advert limit? Has Our Scarle been nicking everyone's dinners?
>> No. 451682 Anonymous
23rd May 2022
Monday 7:10 am
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Maybe she has it in her contract that she can be the only hefty lass in a scene.
>> No. 451683 Anonymous
23rd May 2022
Monday 12:48 pm
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>Sounds like you're definitely not putting it up far enough
>> No. 451895 Anonymous
5th June 2022
Sunday 4:57 pm
451895 spacer
I'd been frozen for several millions years and when I awoke the world had ended in some technological cataclysm that had left only a few fractured remnants of humanity. It wasn't a nuclear war or AI but something had subtly altered the physics of the universe like in Stalker leaving little physical destruction but everything as slightly broken in some irreparable way "like a clock stuck on a continual tick".

I was wandering the silent world contacting isolated groups of about 5-10 people to acquire parts to build a time machine to go back and stop whatever happened from occurring. They were reluctant to help me aside from the leaders who were aware that the genetic bottleneck is such that humanity is doomed over the long-term anyway. Given the length of time that had elapsed I was wondering both the Earth but also time where the latter could only be judged by the movement of the stars and the size of the Moon and shine of the Sun in the sky.

In my second dream I was dating a woman who was a murderer who liked to kill mothers and sons by poisoning. Rather than stopping her I joined her in killing a group of people we both knew and who trusted me, staying one step ahead of anyone finding out while also cheating on her with another woman.
>> No. 452290 Anonymous
1st July 2022
Friday 6:31 am
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I made up a song in my sleep, but the more I try and recall it the more it eludes me. It was an absolute banger. I can vaguely remember the music video.

>> No. 448288 Anonymous
10th December 2021
Friday 12:55 pm
448288 Guess the word
I will post a new image once a correct guess is registered.
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>> No. 448379 Anonymous
14th December 2021
Tuesday 7:08 pm
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You know I tried a dozen times to get purple aki to work and didn't get anywhere.

Shame it took us this long mind.
>> No. 448380 Anonymous
14th December 2021
Tuesday 7:13 pm
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That's because the prompt wasn't "purple Aki" but something like "Black man".
>> No. 448382 Anonymous
14th December 2021
Tuesday 8:00 pm
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Yep, but I just used his full name "Akinwale Arobieke", instead of purple Aki.
>> No. 448383 Anonymous
14th December 2021
Tuesday 8:49 pm
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Tbf i've been trying to generate something I could post in /x/ but no luck.
>> No. 452288 Anonymous
1st July 2022
Friday 2:59 am
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You know they are getting really quite good these days.


>> No. 430053 Anonymous
31st August 2019
Saturday 8:53 am
430053 Literal "what are you feeling right now" thread
Shamelessly stealing the very excellent idea from >>/101/28964

Here is a place to post utterly inane observations about your current state of being.


I like birds but starlings are a massive noisy pain in the arse.
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>> No. 451941 Anonymous
9th June 2022
Thursday 10:42 am
451941 spacer

old men in the locker room.png
Home nudism, reactionary politics, revisiting all the music you listened to as a teenager, obsessing over large women, you lot are measurably turning into old men.
>> No. 451942 Anonymous
9th June 2022
Thursday 10:45 am
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Wasn't the discussions on balding, erectile disfunction and wetting the bed enough of a clue?
>> No. 451943 Anonymous
9th June 2022
Thursday 11:09 am
451943 spacer
Calm down granddad, reruns of The Young Ones are on.
>> No. 451947 Anonymous
9th June 2022
Thursday 4:16 pm
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Coupled with the rampant shed enthusiasm, it should have been.

>> No. 452151 Anonymous
21st June 2022
Tuesday 6:03 pm
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I turned off the age barriers on my dating profile and now I'm getting bombarded with likes from older women in their late-30s and 40s. Sadly I've now realised that it's not nearly as sordid as I like to think given I'm also in my 30s.

>> No. 449104 Anonymous
21st January 2022
Friday 6:35 pm
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Dustbinman's going down the street, eventually he gets to a house who haven't put their bins out. He knocks at the door and a Japanese man answers. He can see some suitcases in the hallway behind him.

"Alright, mate, where's ya bin?"
"I've bin to Tokyo!"
"No, mate, where's ya dust bin?"
"I've dust bin to Tokyo!"
"You've not getting it, mate, where's your wheelie bin?"

The Japanese man, frustrated at not being listened to, stamps his feet and shouts "I've wheelie bin to Tokyo!"
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>> No. 452130 Anonymous
19th June 2022
Sunday 4:10 pm
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Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds.

“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.”

The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank's president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan. One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?"

The man replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"
>> No. 452133 Anonymous
19th June 2022
Sunday 5:18 pm
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I've heard this joke but with a Mr Goldstein instead of Mr Singh. Is there a stereotype that Sikhs are frugal?
>> No. 452134 Anonymous
19th June 2022
Sunday 7:21 pm
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What's got four legs and goes "ssshhhhhhhhh"? Rod Hull's telly.
>> No. 452144 Anonymous
20th June 2022
Monday 12:44 am
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

- to get the fuck out of Ukraine.
>> No. 452146 Anonymous
20th June 2022
Monday 1:00 am
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Getting that joke makes me feel very old.

>> No. 451705 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 4:49 pm
451705 Family secrets
Have you ever discovered or been told anything shocking about family members or relatives? We all remember Phil’s mum, but dogging is normal these days.

I found out recently that my great great grandfather was imprisoned for piracy in North Africa, but the king of Sweden bailed him out for some reason. He was then later accused of being a pirate in Argentina and his ship came under fire. Mostly due to having a very international crew.

I also found out that my cousin worked as a very overpriced escort when she was at uni.
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>> No. 451706 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 5:26 pm
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One of my great-grandads was a habitual felon in the early 1900s and went to prison several times for offences like fraud, extortion, forgery, grievous bodily harm and lewd conduct. My grandad somehow came by some of his old prison medical records, and in one of them, it said something like, commitment to a mental institution should be considered due to the unregenerate nature of the inmate.

Nobody really ever talked much about my great-grandad in my family, also because my great-grandmother eventually divorced him. She then married somebody else, who was from much better social circles and allowed my grandad to enjoy a solid upper middle class upbringing.

My grandad only really started sharing stories about his dad in his old age because he felt they needed to be passed on before he went. I guess at some point when my grandad was an adult, he got back in touch with his biological dad because he felt sorry for him.
>> No. 451707 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 9:01 pm
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Lewd conduct means noncing?
>> No. 451710 Anonymous
25th May 2022
Wednesday 11:51 pm
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Could be. What is known is that he married my great gran when she was 17 and he was approaching his late 30s. But if I remember the stories correctly, there were also rumours that he was a bit of a closet bumder and had occasional relations with young men, which surely would have counted as lewd conduct back then.
>> No. 452102 Anonymous
18th June 2022
Saturday 6:08 pm
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How'd you find stuff like this out? It sounds like you've been on Who Do You Think You Are?. I know finding out about your ancestry is technically something anyone can do, but not everybody has a television production crew following them around.
>> No. 452105 Anonymous
18th June 2022
Saturday 7:47 pm
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Unless you're told all those details by your parents or grandparents, I'm sure most of it will just be forgotten about as generations pass, unless your ancestor was actually in any way famous and/or a public figure. Even if you find out via some ancestry site who your great-great-grandparents were, in all likelihood all you'll ever have is their name, but not much information about how they lived out their lives.

>> No. 451884 Anonymous
5th June 2022
Sunday 2:28 am
451884 Fuck the Recursive Bible!
Have any of you ever spent so much time with fundamentalists that you started thinking characters from the Bible decided to read the Bible itself to figure out what they had to do next? FUCK THE RECURSIVE BIBLE! Also, days were less than 24 hours long in the distant past, "red" was sometimes used in the Bible to describe brown objects, and most Bible-thumpers might secretly be porn addicts.

(A good day to you Sir!)
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>> No. 451896 Anonymous
5th June 2022
Sunday 5:05 pm
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Timestamps are often stored and communicated alongside their time zone.

>> No. 451897 Anonymous
5th June 2022
Sunday 5:20 pm
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Yep. There's also a system to synchronise everyone's clocks.


If you need really accurate timekeeping (usually for finance or distributed database applications) you'll use a GPS-disciplined atomic clock.

>> No. 451898 Anonymous
5th June 2022
Sunday 5:46 pm
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>>451897 If you need really accurate timekeeping

Nah, if you need really accurate distributed time (because your experiment is hundreds of kilometers across and you care about times in the nanosecond range or less), you want something like white rabbit - accurate to ns, precise to ps,
glorious madness. None of this pissing about with time zones - is the time at your head the same as the time at your toes? Light takes a while to get there, does time?
>> No. 451901 Anonymous
6th June 2022
Monday 9:05 am
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Why hasn't this Q-drop tier spam been reported yet? It's being spammed all over the shop.
>> No. 451902 Anonymous
6th June 2022
Monday 9:49 am
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>> No. 451674 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 8:28 pm
451674 Ironic photograph Locked
Post your reaction to this image

(A good day to you Sir!)
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>> No. 451675 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 8:47 pm
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A thread died for this.

>> No. 451186 Anonymous
30th April 2022
Saturday 10:19 pm
You knows it.
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>> No. 451651 Anonymous
21st May 2022
Saturday 12:58 am
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>another man who doesn't really believe women have to deal with even half the shit they complain about

No, you're still missing the point. I absolutely believe her. I just don't think it's a big deal.

If you'd ever been in a relationship with one, you'd be well aware half the shit they complain about is bollocks.
>> No. 451652 Anonymous
21st May 2022
Saturday 1:49 am
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>you'd be well aware half the shit they complain about is bollocks.

Maybe your testicles are just subpar then.
>> No. 451665 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 12:36 am
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>women really do absolutely feel like their life is in danger whenever they see a willy they weren't expecting

So do guys when they see a knife they weren't expecting. More men die from knife violence than women from rape. I'm not counting numbers here.
>> No. 451667 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 1:29 am
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Go and threaten someone with a knife then, if it's the same. See if you get in more trouble, less trouble, or the same amount of trouble.
>> No. 451668 Anonymous
22nd May 2022
Sunday 1:49 am
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Even Arr Greenandpleasant is making jokes along the lines of "I wish he'd shown me instead, I could do with $250k".

When even Rudgwick turbo-lefties are making light of it, I think it's probably worth picking another issue to show off how much of a woman respecter you are.

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