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>> No. 425247 Anonymous
18th March 2019
Monday 1:45 pm
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New mid-week thread.

I've got the feeling I was meant to look something up but I can't remember what and it's bugging me.
521 posts and 98 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 427014 Anonymous
22nd May 2019
Wednesday 8:37 pm
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I was nearly convinced to attend my local Mormon church when I was stopped in the street by two stunning Mormon girls. One was Asian American, the other a blonde Australian. We swapped phone numbers, and they texted me to ask me to come to church, but my autism got the better of me and I ignored them because I am socially inept and feel I would have humiliated myself at Mormon church.
>> No. 427015 Anonymous
22nd May 2019
Wednesday 9:44 pm
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There's a racist furry who comments on a YouTuber's videos I watch and I was mean to him the other day, I haven't seen him post a comment since and even though he's a racist furry I still feel bad. No bugger becomes defined by their desire to shag anthropomorphic antelope in SS get up because everything's going swimmingly for them, do they?

I really envy our pre-historic ancestors. My monkey brain just hasn't developed for this kind of quandary.
>> No. 427016 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 6:48 am
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As I understand it, mormons are strictly forbidden from sex before marriage, to the extent that some churches consider masturbation just as bad. So I suppose it could have gone one of two ways - they would have had their legs closed tighter than a bear trap, or they'd have been horny as fuck and lusting for you to teach them the ways of the secular flesh. It was probably worth the gamble.

The two american mormon girls that showed up to my door were incredibly attractive, too, and so friendly/flirty that I immediately got the sense that I was being primed for a cult. They were truly very pretty though, enough that I still remember them years later.
>> No. 427017 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 11:34 am
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>I've no idea how to flirt with a german anyway so I'm sure I'll never have the chance to find out.

German women are tough to flirt with. On the upside, they will give it to you pretty straight when they are not interested. So there isn't much wavering about and letting you off easy. You will know when you've got no chance.
>> No. 427018 Anonymous
23rd May 2019
Thursday 1:17 pm
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The nazifur lot aren't necessarily racist, in my experience. It's just a wierd uniform fetish, and you have to consider that when you're already into animal dicks it really isn't as big of a jump to make. Then there's the added irony that furries themselves are subject to a considerable degree of discrimination.

I think it's really quite unfortunate that furries are victims of that and yet widely viewed as acceptable targets, when they're completely harmless. They don't actually fuck animals, they're into cartoon porn. They're not deviants in any way comparable to peados or rapists. Who has ever heard of a furry committing a mass shooting or bombing? Why do people feel so comfortable in hate against them?

Anyway he might well have been a racist, for all I know, just felt like putting that out there.

>> No. 425684 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 11:36 pm
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So am I the only one who is getting a bit annoyed by this whole Greta Thunberg cult, or am I just too much of a cold hearted cynic that the world would be better off without?

I don't doubt the legitimate concern of her generation over climate change, after all it will fall to them to sort out the utter fucking mess that we have left the planet in, but all the awards that she is now being showered with are IMO just middle aged and old people's guilt over their own failure to save the planet's climate despite having had decades of prior warning, and who lost their way and succumbed to high carbon footprint consumerism somewhere between 1990s road protest villages and today's school runs in a 4x4. None of it feels sincere or genuine, it's more like, yeah, just take all these awards and shut the hell up already.

And parents whose children now protest every Friday or so are now engaging in pissing matches on twitter and Instagram to show off which one of their kids gets the most involved. As one commenter said, nothing good has ever come of a youth protest movement that was applauded by parents.
314 posts and 32 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 426990 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 8:49 pm
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Most people don't need to deal with them, because they either don't owe or aren't owed enough money for them to get involved. Their proper title these days is High Court Enforcement Officers.
>> No. 426994 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 9:30 pm
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Pretty sure those were called bailiffs in the compilation.

No, I mean this lot, who continue to exist.
>> No. 426995 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 9:36 pm
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Bailiffs enforce judgments from the County Court.

I think those fancy-pants types are called High Sheriffs.
>> No. 426997 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 10:03 pm
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High Sheriffs used to have responsibility for enforcing High Court writs until 2004, when that was transferred to the court itself. Naturally the lads and lasses with daft ruffs didn't go out dragging road protesters out of trees and seizing vans, they deputised it to their own bailiffs. They're still technically responsible for overseeing local elections, but that gets deputised to the returning officer.

We're British, we're obliged to have loads of archaic institutions that used to have a practical purpose but are now merely ceremonial. I imagine that in the far future, we'll send a frazzled-looking woman to Brussels every year to ask for an "Article 50 extension"; nobody in that part of China will have a clue what she's on about, but they'll give her a fancy bit of paper with a big wax seal because the tradition is cute.
>> No. 426998 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 11:24 pm
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>I imagine that in the far future, we'll send a frazzled-looking woman to Brussels every year to ask for an "Article 50 extension"

Audible mirth.

I mean, you're taking the piss but that really is how most of our wierd parliamentary traditions came to be, and it's daft enough that one day you'll sit with your head in your hands despairing how accurate of a prediction it was.

>> No. 424669 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:35 pm
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Weekend thread: bangers and mash edition.

If that lad with all the instant mash is about then I may have a business proposition for him; I went a bit overboard buying wholesale bags of Quorn sausages from Farmfoods.
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>> No. 426950 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 2:57 am
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Frank Zappa 6, Hitler 1.

>> No. 426968 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 2:39 pm
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Hitler also has an extinct cockroach named after him.
>> No. 426971 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 3:27 pm
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There's a bleak poetry to that fact.
>> No. 426993 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 9:24 pm
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>> No. 426996 Anonymous
20th May 2019
Monday 10:00 pm
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Shove your Facebook memes up your arse.

>> No. 426868 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 5:49 pm
426868 Dream Thread Mk. II
Fitter when she was fat edition.

You know the drill lads. Here are a few helpful links in order to help you further your proficiency at dreaming, and hopefully elevate the quality of discussion about our nocturnal adventures:



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>> No. 426886 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 12:03 pm
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Turn auto-capitalisation on, m9. Fuck sake.

Also, it's weird we've both had that dream. Do you suffer from a generalised anxiety disorder? I had assumed it might be an anxiety dream.
>> No. 426887 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 12:04 pm
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Guess you will.
>> No. 426888 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 12:26 pm
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I was watching this youtube video some young man with frizzy hair had made, it was a short creepy thing where he went down into some basement he shouldn't (looking for a valve to turn off something or other) and found a strange white-painted complex of tunnels and labs where there was one person (who looked like Juggarnaut made flesh, his shiny bald head domed down to his shoulders) doing all the roles of security, scientist and some exercises for some reason. He mainly just aggressively shouted at the youtuber to leave, which he tried but kept having these weird blackout flashes which would take him further into the complex. The strange man seemed to be playing all the roles at once so you'd see more than one of him at the same time in different positions like clones but still with the sense it was just the one person, hard to tell if there were two+ of him at once or the blackouts just made it seem that way. The video ended and the youtuber started explaining how he'd made it, given the actor directions and such but the blackouts kept happening and I was having hallucinations of the weird guy trying to come in through the window, sort of the way you do when you're half awake and having hypnogagic stuff happening in your real home. The video was called something to do with Everest, three-four words and one of them was Everest but I forget what. "The Steep Climb to Everest" maybe.
Then I woke up and the blackouts stopped.
Mainly notable because the whole thing was so note-for-note like a creepypasta someone might come up with.
>> No. 426889 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 1:56 pm
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I was walking back to my student flat, walked up the stairway and through the front door and there was some fat middle aged alco just lying half passed out on the floor inside. I tried to wake him and move him on and he shuffled slowly towards the door but I started to suspect there was more to this and accused him of trying to burgle us.
This flicked a switch in the guys mind as he'd been busted, turns out it was an act and he just improvised when I came in. After being rumbled he started throwing comically small knives at me, then left through the door and I chased him a bit until he produced a larger knife and then started chasing me. Through a gigantic shopping centre with cathedral like proportions and a buffet bar the size of a great hall, but with seating only around the walls.

Then later on this chubby chap returned in my dreams but this time I was in a 4 storey tall terrace house. Suspecting that there were burglars casing places along the road I switched the lights so that it looked like nobody was downstairs, then went and watched our front window. Sure enough the guy wandered past our living room window and sneakily checked it out, I caught him doing this then burst out the door and gave chase. He had throwing knives again but I managed to chase him around and down some alleyways where he then ran into his own home. So I broke into his home and had a knife fight with him. Can't remember the result.
>> No. 426893 Anonymous
17th May 2019
Friday 11:55 pm
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All the talk about Scarlett Moffatt lately made me dream last night that I was sitting on her couch with her on the show Gogglebox and she was giving me a hand job under a blanket while we were watching TV and moaning about it. So I said, "are you sure your parents won't mind?", but then I looked and saw that there was nobody there besides the two of us.

So yeah, Scarlett Moffatt wanked me off on national TV in my dream last night. I can't remember if it was any good though.

>> No. 426723 Anonymous
12th May 2019
Sunday 9:14 pm
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If you could go back in time and give your younger self advice what would it be?
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>> No. 426875 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 6:50 pm
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Katoey, you say?
>> No. 426876 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 6:57 pm
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I know... if it walks like a bloke, and talks like a bloke...
>> No. 426877 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 6:58 pm
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Isn't that just a flowery way of saying tranny. It still identifies them as other. When I assume a lot of them want to be card carrying women.
>> No. 426878 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 7:08 pm
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Aye but my saying is if it looks like a woman, I'm going to fuck them.
>> No. 426879 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 7:16 pm
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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
1996 posts and 174 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 426823 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 9:33 pm
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Had an utterly filthy sex dream about a long-time friend who I've never considered very attractive. She's not an uggo or anything, she's just never really caught my eye. But obviously now I've had this dream I definitely want to shag her, just in case she's as rampant as she was in the dream.
>> No. 426830 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 11:43 pm
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I wouldn't call it a 'weird' dream but quite a vivid one where I was shouting at a load of familiar people how I was so sick of being lonely, seen as stupid and useless and subhuman. They seemed taken aback but that was all. Then I woke up.
>> No. 426834 Anonymous ## Mod ##
16th May 2019
Thursday 12:21 am
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2000 posts and 6 years, lads. Crikey. Time for a new thread, should anyone feel like sharing the minutiae of their sub-conscious they can have the honour of making it.
>> No. 426859 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 3:50 pm
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I had a dream that I was part of a small village, we were building this amazing, intricate building, interwoven with stories and thoughts from our deepest subconscious. All the townsfolk were proud of the building, and how it took years to construct. Whenever people visited, they were impressed with the quality and longevity of the work.

Then some cunt came over, barred the doors and set it on fire.

I wonder what it means?
>> No. 426870 Anonymous
16th May 2019
Thursday 6:17 pm
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>> No. 426479 Anonymous
7th May 2019
Tuesday 4:54 pm
426479 Name of the song?
Just placed my first ever proper bet. Come on Darude, don't let me down!
31 posts and 1 image omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 426540 Anonymous
8th May 2019
Wednesday 5:48 pm
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>roughly the same sort of person who shares Bake Off memes on Facebook.

I always thought the fan base of Eurovision was mainly poofs. Or do gays do that as well these days?
>> No. 426548 Anonymous
8th May 2019
Wednesday 6:36 pm
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Yesterday you lads had me to throw away a tenner on this and the picture of Greta eating hummus wrong influenced me into eating some myself before bed which, in turn, led to heartburn and a poorly tummy for most of the day.

Is this all part of your masterplan?

What's it like living in a world without campy fun?
>> No. 426558 Anonymous
8th May 2019
Wednesday 10:15 pm
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Is this all part of your masterplan?

>> No. 426808 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 8:41 am
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Did we win?
>> No. 426809 Anonymous
15th May 2019
Wednesday 11:18 am
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>> No. 425508 Anonymous
30th March 2019
Saturday 10:00 am
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This might well be a daft question but, if I flew to Japan, bought a bike there, stuck it in a bike bag as my luggage and flew it back here, am I supposed to declare that? It'd be taxed if I had it delivered, so I assume so. But would they notice? Would anyone figure out I'd just bought the bike over there and hadn't just been returning with my own bike? It'd be hard to prove either way which country I bought it in as it'd be second hand anyway.
15 posts and 2 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 426785 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:01 pm
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Quality wordfilter, mods. I meant to say "yoshi aki".
>> No. 426786 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 1:13 pm
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I have no clue what either of that means, or why it would even necessitate a word filter.
>> No. 426793 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 6:49 pm
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Speak English.
>> No. 426795 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 7:37 pm
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You missed the space between the two words, forming another word in the middle of them.
>> No. 426796 Anonymous
14th May 2019
Tuesday 7:49 pm
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I'm just going to type Mi'kmaq to confirm to myself I've worked that out correctly.

>> No. 426175 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 9:46 am
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Why does my pillow look like this?
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>> No. 426185 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 12:55 pm
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>> No. 426187 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 1:35 pm
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You didn't take your makeup off.
>> No. 426204 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 4:11 pm
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Stop leaving your jizz in there during the night, mate. It's unhygienic
>> No. 426208 Anonymous
24th April 2019
Wednesday 7:23 pm
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Not sure jizz is supposed to look like that.
>> No. 426288 Anonymous
27th April 2019
Saturday 2:02 pm
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Bingo. Your prize is the illustrious chair picture.

>> No. 425967 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 2:14 am
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so porn is comming to an end my friends


what are you going to do now
29 posts and 2 images omitted. Expand all images.
>> No. 426053 Anonymous
19th April 2019
Friday 7:05 pm
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One of the two main providers owns the majority of the free "tube" sites, and are less than rigorous when it comes to enforcing the copyright of their paid competitors whose content end up uploaded to said sites, so if they want to be competitive they'll have to do more than the bare minimum to get by.
>> No. 426101 Anonymous
21st April 2019
Sunday 8:45 pm
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Why the fuck am I paying taxes again? Surely at this point it'd be better to just burn the money.
>> No. 426119 Anonymous
22nd April 2019
Monday 1:18 pm
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If, and only if:

- I can go to a shop and flash my driving licence and buy a porn pass with a minimum of fuss, and
- it doesn't have a stupidly short duration before it expires, and
- they do not store ANY of my personally identifiable information when I purchase it

I will not overly care about this new law.
>> No. 426133 Anonymous
22nd April 2019
Monday 3:35 pm
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The problem is that your third bullet point is the main, if not only, reason this law is being passed at all.

I don't want to make this into one of those posts, but the current Tory line-up is bent as all fuck. Mrs May and her fella have fingers in all kinds of pies, including but not limited to medicinal cannabis. What we have here is pure US style cronyism, disguised under the thinnest veil of moral guardianship.
>> No. 426141 Anonymous
22nd April 2019
Monday 4:34 pm
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So do they have shares in MindGeek then?

>> No. 425307 Anonymous
19th March 2019
Tuesday 4:02 pm
425307 A picture is worth a thousand words Locked
Anyone seen this before or know where it was taken?
That's evelyn de rotschild poking charlie in the chest btw - seriously, who could get away with this?
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>> No. 425971 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 2:46 am
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You more likely got banned for using 'tactical' where 'strategic' is the correct term.
>> No. 425974 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 3:05 am
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hillary begging.jpg
Seriously though, why was I permanently banned and my post memory-holed for posting this image?

It's no real skin off my nose since I just got a VPN in preparation for the upcoming porn blockage so I'm just curious about what motivated the mod to do it.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 425975 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 3:17 am
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Because you're being a tedious cunt. WTF cares about some email that Hillary wrote to someone else? This is a British site and this bullshit is absolutely nothing to do with us, and you're a tedious cunt.
>> No. 425989 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 11:15 am
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Obviously because the mods are a cadet branch of the Rochchild dynasty and need to keep you shtum so the servers can stay funded.

Or you're a dickhead.
>> No. 425991 Anonymous
18th April 2019
Thursday 11:24 am
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Why would Hillary's email address be HDR22 on her own website? I feel like the real conspiracy here is who are HDR 1-21???

>> No. 425809 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 7:47 pm
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Confess, lads.

My brain has been addled from watching so much porn that whenever one of you recommends CBT I assume you're advocating a Cock and Ball Torture session.
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>> No. 425897 Anonymous
14th April 2019
Sunday 10:58 am
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I wonder if its a smell thing. I've definitely met people like that.
>> No. 425898 Anonymous
14th April 2019
Sunday 11:46 am
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Does she look like your son's girlfriend?
>> No. 425899 Anonymous
14th April 2019
Sunday 1:29 pm
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I think you might be right. Now that I think about it, I must have seen her on Instagram etc before meeting her, and don't remember going mental just looking at those. So she must just have the exact sort of pheromones that I like. I suppose that means we'd make exceptionally good children together, though I have absolutely no interest in doing that, either.
>> No. 425900 Anonymous
14th April 2019
Sunday 1:53 pm
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Do you want to give her a good old fashioned Arse Pissing?
>> No. 425915 Anonymous
15th April 2019
Monday 12:16 am
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There is one of my missus female friends with a similar things, but with an ugly twist: it looks like everybody wants to beat and/or rape her. She always looks like she has just been scared into submission. AFAIK, every one of her boyfriends either beat her like a punching bag or raped her. I cannot deny that I feel some strange urges every time I look at her, and she's not attractive or offensive at all, there is no reason why I should feel like this. No idea, I just keep her as far away as possible and I tell the missus that I do not like her.

>> No. 425579 Anonymous
31st March 2019
Sunday 10:48 pm
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Which of these looks best, lads?

Number one's fade should actually look as gradual as all the others, I'm just shit at photoshop, so bear that in mind.
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>> No. 425793 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 1:13 pm
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Just noticed there's no battery in that kit. I knew the price was too good to be true.
>> No. 425794 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 1:38 pm
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You can buy a (very good) electric kick-scooter for about the same price. They're technically illegal to use on the road in the UK, but you aren't going to get any bother unless you ride like a twat.

>> No. 425795 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 1:51 pm
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I don't want a scooter though.
>> No. 425798 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 2:54 pm
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Honestly, they're brilliant. E-bikes aren't great for long-distance stuff, because the battery conks out after an hour or so and you're left lugging a load of useless weight. They aren't great for short-range stuff, because they're too bulky to take inside. If you get a cheap kit, the waterproofing won't be great and you risk short-circuits if you leave it parked outside; if you get a fancy bike with an integrated Bosch drivetrain, it's too nice to leave locked up outside work.

Electric scooters are absolutely effortless for last-mile transport around town. Undo one clip and it folds up small enough to take on the bus or carry into a pub. You do look like a bit of a bell-end, but they're so much fun that you won't care.

I'd rather have a Brompton most of the time, but electric kick scooters just make a huge amount of sense.
>> No. 425808 Anonymous
11th April 2019
Thursday 7:02 pm
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You ever tried to do the groceries on a kick scooter? I didn't ask about ebike kits because I wanted a scooter m8.

Having said that I was in Austin last year and they have those Lime rental scooters all over the shop, they're great, and a much better solution than owning one. Far superior to the Mobikes up here.

>> No. 425641 Anonymous
4th April 2019
Thursday 6:29 pm
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Lads, it's that time of year again. Choose your filly.


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>> No. 425679 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 9:11 pm
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Who wore it best?
>> No. 425680 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 9:19 pm
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You mean which turd has been polished the best?

Those flabby tits on the left look a bit sad.
>> No. 425681 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 9:57 pm
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I think it's more a case of sprinkling glitter on a turd than polishing it.
>> No. 425682 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 10:07 pm
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It's still going to stink either way.
>> No. 426560 Anonymous
9th May 2019
Thursday 11:49 am
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Once we are going to have a generation of grandmas with wrinkly arses and tarty tats about them.

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