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>> No. 364298 Anonymous
14th November 2013
Thursday 4:47 pm
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ITT: Weird dreams you've had lately.

I actually dreamed last night that I was in Australia, visiting the two blokes from the Foster's adverts in their beach hut. Sure enough, they gave me a Foster's, and I said "cheers, guys"... and then one of them said to me "oh no mayt, we don't say cheers heere. We say 'You little ripper!'"

Quite bizarre... has this dream got any deeper meaning, or have I just been watching too much telly lately?
1708 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 422118 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 3:43 pm
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>>422071
She looks like any given D lister without the charm of being a D lister, and instead the handicap of being nuttier than squirrel turds. I don't understand you lot and your "hate fucking", it seems awfully unhealthy.
>> No. 422119 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 3:54 pm
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>>422118
I don't want to hatefuck her really, I want to spend a few days in bed with her smoking weed and listening to Ice T.
>> No. 422120 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 4:03 pm
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>>422117
I would absolutely smash that fucking head in with a sledgehammer.
>> No. 422121 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:02 pm
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>>422116

Weirdly it is quite a common political tactic for extremists, deployed by both sides of the spectrum, dictators, animal rights activists and vegans.

"Look how hot are women are, don't you want to fuck them? You might stand a chance if you start believing what they do". The fact that it works makes me fucking despair for the cognitive abilities of man kind.
>> No. 422122 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:13 pm
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>>422118

>I don't understand you lot and your "hate fucking", it seems awfully unhealthy.


I think the term was angry fucking. That's still a bit different from hate fucking.

Then again, maybe hate fucking IS the better word. Maybe angry fucking should be reserved for when you are having sex with somebody that you are angry at at that given time, but that you don't necessarily deeply hate.

Come to think, I did some pretty cracking angry fucking with one of my exes. At some stage in our relationship, not too long before we broke up, we really started spending much of our time together arguing with each other. And the whole thing then somehow often veered off into passionate make up sex, with me still feeling plenty of resentment for her all the while I was inserting my knob into her body openings. And she must have felt the same.

In a way, it was helpful, because for some reason, it was usually after one of our arguments when she was the most straightforward with me in bed as to what she wanted me to do with her. She wasn't normally one to give me many verbal clues that way, and many women aren't, but I guess with the gloves off after such arguments, it came easier to her to say what she really wanted in bed.

Too little, too late though. We did break up eventualy.
>> No. 422123 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:24 pm
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>>422121
I know, I'm just asking why he's doing it outside of that context.
>> No. 422124 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:29 pm
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>>422121

>"Look how hot are women are, don't you want to fuck them? You might stand a chance if you start believing what they do".


It may well have been during the 2008 Presidential campaign in the U.S. that that first became a thing. Sarah Palin was attractive to many on the political right because she was a, erm, hot milf who was good with guns. And that must have appealed to a whole segment of intellectually challenged, sexually repressed gun nuts. In other words, she was the personification of bucket loads of adolescent Republican wet dreams.

I actually remember a British news reporter asking some pimply high school younglads in a queue at one of her book signings before the 2008 election what they thought of her, and they were just completely fired up over her like she was the fulfillment of any horny 17-year-old's fantasies. Each in their own way, they said they were going to vote for her because she was essentially a hot milf with guns. Not because they thought her political views were of any merit or anything like that.
>> No. 422125 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:34 pm
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>>422124
>It may well have been during the 2008 Presidential campaign in the U.S. that that first became a thing
no
>> No. 422126 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:38 pm
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>>422124
>It may well have been during the 2008 Presidential campaign in the U.S. that that first became a thing.

That obviously isn't true and much of what else you said is also guff.
>> No. 422127 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 5:53 pm
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>>422122

Angry fucking is always good. My last ex I'd make her squirt all over the sofa sometimes, and practically ram my hand up her at others, such was the intensity of our angry lust.

I think angry sex taps into some primal kind of drive that's not particularly pleasant to rationalise nor politically correct to admit even exists. That feeling of putting a bitch in her place, taking the situation from her yelling at you about leaving a tray in the oven to leaving her in a shivering post-orgasmic mess. The pride and catharsis. I don't know, it just feels great.

Or normal sex life was by no means bad, but I think it should tell you something about a person that you only enter such a level of passion when you're both pissed off at each other either way. It's just very rare to find someone who inspires that in you without having to start an argument first I guess.

in before dominance in a sexual act results in being accused of woman hating
>> No. 422128 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 7:05 pm
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>>422127

>Or normal sex life was by no means bad, but I think it should tell you something about a person that you only enter such a level of passion when you're both pissed off at each other either way. It's just very rare to find someone who inspires that in you without having to start an argument first I guess.


I think when you're in bed with your partner and you're in a very harmonic mood, it tends to be a bit more about the other person and satisfying them sexually because you care about them. But if you have sex with somebody not long after an argument, it brings out your selfish side more. It's about you having your fun, and not primarily about doing something that the other person will like. And that kind of brings out facets of your personality that normally lie hidden. Because normally you might be afraid to tell your partner or worry what they will think of you. Or you're just in a kind of romantic mood where you don't need it rough.

So if your last ex craved your whole hand up her minge at times when she was angry like that, it may well be that that kind of thing was one of her latent underlying desires, but which she was afraid to ask of you at times when you were in a more lovey-dovey mood together.

One thing that some women have found kind of curious is my obsession with their pelvic floor. When I am in an angry or otherwise devious mood in bed, I love it when a woman squeezes her clunge as tight as she can with my knob in it. Maybe there's some unchecked S&M tendencies knocking about with me, I don't know. Anyway, it's something that I don't normally mention to a woman because as I said, some think it's a bit odd. But when I am having angry sex, I have no problem telling her to squeeze my knob in her vag as if her life depended on it.

One lass I was with kind of brought me to my limit once though. She was a premie, with a very delicate build for a 23-year-old. And all of her lady bits were small as well, with my knob barely fitting all the way inside her even when we were having vanilla type sex. So when I asked her one time to give my knob a good squeeze, I really thought it was about to snap right off. On top of being naturally tight down there, she was also a gymnast and in pretty good athletic shape.
>> No. 422129 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 7:22 pm
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>>422128

>Maybe there's some unchecked S&M tendencies knocking about with me, I don't know

Why check them? It's all good as long as it's consensual.

I mean I'm definitely a kinky bastard myself. Maybe with her, those angry occasions were the only time I really let that go on her- Even though I know she would have liked it in "normal" sex too, she never made me feel like I wanted to. I don't like a walk-over sub, I like a bit of cheek and provocation.

I did used to make her practice her kegels on my knob. I share your fondness for a bit of cunt tensing. Only thing is she was piss poor at it, she could never keep it up, and I never had the heart to "punish" her for it like you would in a proper kinky relationship. Even though she would have probably liked me to. Again, it's a weird one.

I think she was always just far too insecure for me to feel right making that sort of filth a regular feature of our love life. It wouldn't have been wholesome consensual kink, it would have been her basically allowing me to abuse her because of her low self esteem. An important distinction.

It's definitely a weird one, psychologically. But then so is most sex.
>> No. 422130 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 9:44 pm
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>>422129

>I think she was always just far too insecure for me to feel right making that sort of filth a regular feature of our love life.

That's what I meant. It is that way with many couples, and it's not always just the woman. You are often afraid to ask your partner to do something with you, or to you that's one of your secret fantasies, for fear that they will think different of you or just think you're plain weird.
>> No. 422131 Anonymous
20th November 2018
Tuesday 10:53 pm
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>>422127
I would say that's totally different to shagging someone who thinks the kind of things the alt-right does though. You had a prior emotional investment that ex that changes the manner in which you're angry with them, but perhaps this all comes down to the detached way I try to treat politics, it's more like philosophical maths in my mind.

Also she was totally correct in having a go for leaving the tray in there, I smoked out the entire flat when someone did that to me, you big daft git. Stop looking at me like that.
>> No. 422132 Anonymous
21st November 2018
Wednesday 12:04 am
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>>422131

I knew a lass at uni who was a social science student, kind of a left wing radical, and also a quite fervent radical fisherperson. Just about everything about her views was vomit inducing to me. Unbelievably, we were sort-of friends because we had mutual friends that we hung out and went to parties with. I have to admit there was some sexual tension between us at times, and I think at least a small part of her felt that same way. It was just in the way we argued about our diametrically different views together. And at times I thought, either I'm going to smash your head in right now for all the horrible stupid things that you keep spouting, or I'm flat out going to ask you if you fancy a shag.

It was just really weird. I can't say I hated her, because when we weren't talking politics, she was quite bearable as a person. But again, passionately arguing politics with her was sexually arousing in the strangest way ever. There was a weird kind of attraction between us, which at least for me constantly flip flopped between complete and utter disgust and a raging erection in my pants.
>> No. 422151 Anonymous
21st November 2018
Wednesday 7:28 pm
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I was in a TV show in which the main character was Roy Chubby Brown, but he was played by Steve Pemberton. In the show I was escorting Chubby out of his house and walking into the village with him, but it was a very wintry day with lots of ice and snow. After some distance, Chubby would slip on the ice and fall. Then we'd be back at the beginning, leaving his house to walk into the village, but this time it was the next day and the snow had partially melted. This repeated 5 or 6 times, and by the time we were on the seventh or eighth day, the snow was gone completely.

This turned out to be a dream within a dream, I woke up from the Chubby Brown dream and told my partner about it (she doesn't know who Chubby Brown or Steve Pemberton are). Then I woke up for real.
>> No. 422154 Anonymous
21st November 2018
Wednesday 10:30 pm
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I watched one of those science programmes with Brian Cox late last night on the iPlayer where he talks about the possibility of alien life. And then in my dream, I was suddenly accompanying him through some sort of barren polar landscape, and as he said, to help him look for clues that there were aliens about. And then suddenly I turned around and he was kneeling over a boulder on the ground and spreading out two lines of cocaine, both for him and for me. And then he said, "Well then, let's do what we really came here for!". Probably some weird throwback in my subconscience to that one clip on youtube. But I imagine it'd be fun to do coke with Brian Cox out in the polar.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30ruBtLIvJM
>> No. 422172 Anonymous
22nd November 2018
Thursday 11:29 am
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Dreamed about eating pussy. Can't remember whose or what the context was but it went on for a long time like that.
>> No. 422177 Anonymous
22nd November 2018
Thursday 11:48 am
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>>422172

And how would you rate cat compared to other meats?
>> No. 422189 Anonymous
22nd November 2018
Thursday 6:57 pm
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>>422177

Better than eating dog but then your mam paid well enough for that.
>> No. 422307 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 7:54 am
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I was working as a carer for a paraplegic woman in her late teens. She initiated a conversation about how her disability meant that she'd never been able to truly explore her body and sexuality, insinuating that she wanted me to do something about it. I said that would be crossing clear ethical boundaries, but agreed that I would help her browse sex toys online so she could get to know her body herself. The next time I visit the sex toy had arrived but she was complaining about not being able to use it properly so, after much conversation, I agreed that I would try it on her. It didn't take long for her to say that she'd much rather feel actual physical human skin on her body rather than just a toy. I blindfolded her and then started slowly kissing her body; her neck, her nipples, her torso, before finally ending up on her clit. After licking her out I majorly had the horn so I whispered in her ear "I'm going to fuck you now" before having my way with her stump of a body.

I woke up with a massive stonk on, wondering if there's any local disability organisations I can volunteer at.
>> No. 422308 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 10:47 am
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>>422307
>the sex toy had arrived but she was complaining about not being able to use it properly
I know it's a dream, but - did you expect more from a paraplegic?
>> No. 422309 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 11:00 am
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>>422308
I'm either an idiot, naïve or driven by my subconscious a lot. A fair number of things happen to me where I don't fully consider what I'm doing, but when I reflect on them with hindsight I must have wanted it to happen all along because it's the only logical explanation for how I behaved.
>> No. 422311 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 1:02 pm
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>>422307

Wasn't it in the Netherlands where their health service pays for prostitutes if you're a cripple and can't get laid on your own?

Hm, yes it does, apparently.

https://www.popdust.com/the-netherlands-pays-for-disabled-citizens-to-have-sex-with-prostitute-1890879447.html
>> No. 422312 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 1:08 pm
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>>422311
I didn't realise Ariana Grande was Dutch.
>> No. 422356 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 1:08 am
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>>422311

Do you think they pay for people who are just too fat, ugly, or odd to get a shag anyway?
>> No. 422357 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 5:17 am
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>>422311
>>422312

This video went viral a few years ago.

https://vimeo.com/124403671
>> No. 422358 Anonymous
26th November 2018
Monday 8:15 am
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>>422356

If you're "a bit odd", try to get it diagnosed as Asperger's, and you should be golden.
>> No. 422421 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 1:14 pm
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I had a dream last night that I was actually getting married to one of my exes. It was our wedding day, and right from the beginning I was feeling uneasy about the fact that I was actually getting married to her. And then at some point at that wedding, she pulled me to the side and said, "What the hell is your problem? You have been ignoring me all evening, and you didn't even spend any time sitting at the bride's table with the rest of us!". So I said, "well, that's because we broke up years ago. I shouldn't even be here today, you know. None of this should be happening!". So she said, "Oh you'll be sorry. You'll be sorry as hell!".

And then next thing in that dream, I guess we were separated again, and she decided to take on a modeling career and became famous and even starred in some sort of movie. I then saw her in a TV ad, all dolled up, and I remember thinking "Well that's slightly disconcerting".


I don't know why that ex keeps popping up in my dreams now and then. And it should also be noted that she was the one that broke up with me. I then began to ghost her after our breakup, true, which made her very sad because she "really wanted us to stay friends", as womenfolk do. But after being shot down by her when I asked for a second chance on my knees, I thought I was well within my moral rights to swear to myself at that moment that that'd be the last she'd ever see of me. And I largely kept that self-promise.

So I guess her telling me in my dream that she was upset that I was avoiding her on our wedding day was just a garbled version of my memories of what really happened back then.

There were rumours back in the day that she began to waver in her decision of not wanting me back after about a month or two of me disappearing entirely out of her life. One of her friends even told me that she said that breaking up with me was "probably a bad mistake". Then again, as they say, some doors shouldn't be opened. I'll never know, and it will remain one of the unanswered questions of my life. No point digging up the past now, because these days she is actually married to somebody else and has a child. It's not for me to disrupt that just because I've got some nonsense like that going around in my head.
>> No. 422422 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 1:41 pm
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I dreamt that I was going around Scotland telling people to listen to Big Country. "LISTEN! THEIR GUITARS SOUND JUST LIKE BAGPIPES. YOU'LL LOVR IT!"
>> No. 422457 Anonymous
29th November 2018
Thursday 7:31 pm
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There's been some discussion in this thread about lucid dreaming.

I've been using Sleep as Android and it comes with a lucid dreaming function. When it detects you are in REM, it will say "You are dreaming" and hopefully you hear it in the dream and take control.

I imagine there are other apps that do this too. Anyone ever tried it?
>> No. 422462 Anonymous
29th November 2018
Thursday 8:36 pm
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Have you ever had a dream in which a song you knew was playing the whole time, and really in great detail as if it was on the radio?

I had a dream last night during which the song Ever Fallen In Love by The Buzzcocks was playing almost throughout the entire dream.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51OB2YoC4sg

The dream itself was unremarkable, just me walking through the city centre here and looking at shop windows. But why was that song playing?
>> No. 422574 Anonymous
4th December 2018
Tuesday 6:41 pm
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>>422457

The times I've successfully lucid dreamed, I've been fully aware it was a dream from the start. I felt myself slip into the dream whilst retaining my conscious thought, essentially. Last time it happened there was an elaborate kind of transnational phase where I went from watching the colours on my ceiling and influencing how they moved, to full on hallucinations and vivid imagery I could picture at will. Then I allowed myself to float up into the ceiling window and explore the worlds within.

I do have those dreams where I realise it's a dream part way through, but that's not the same as lucid dreaming usually- I'll never take the initiative to do anything with the realisation, nor do I feel as though I have any control. It's essentially that you're stuck in your subconscious and becoming aware of it. Proper lucid dreaming is the other way around, you retain awareness as you sink into your subconcious.

Sage for acid-head ramblings.
>> No. 422585 Anonymous
4th December 2018
Tuesday 11:36 pm
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Utterly bizarre dream the other night, I need to stop reading the fucking news.

Dreamt I was with vlad Putin and my mates in a car, with my good mate driving, I remarked on how good the rear view camera in the car was to Putin but he didn't really comment (he never spoke once in my dream), he just sort of smiled in acknowledgement.

Then, in the rear view, I could see a car crashing into other cars before it hit the back of us.

Vlad got out to discuss details with the other driver and armed soldiers turned up. Making no sense as dreams do, we walked through a weird town and ended up back in the lobby of a hostel. Probably the weirdest dream I've had in ages, I think it's from seeing so many pictures of his smug fucking face and my general dislike for him morphing into a nightmare.
>> No. 422596 Anonymous
5th December 2018
Wednesday 11:14 am
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I had a dream that I was at an ice cream parlour, and for some reason they had three different counters with different flavours in them. So somebody said to me, "Get something like vanilla or walnut, the other flavours are really cheaply made and taste like crap". So I ordered vanilla and walnut in a cone. The girl behind the counter was kind of being rude to me, and then when she said it was going to be £5, I said "Hold on, let me count my change". When the boss saw that I was going to give them loads of small change, he said "Oh no, forget about that. We don't want your pennies". So I said, "I'm sorry? Is this not money, same as a £5 note, which is really quite expensive to begin with for two tiny scoops of ice cream?". So he said, "Not to us here, it isn't". So I said, "Ok that's it, I'm out of here. Stick your ice cream up your arse. Give me a call if you ever want to know how to run a business properly".
>> No. 422601 Anonymous
5th December 2018
Wednesday 3:42 pm
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I dreamed again that I was repairing an industrial machinery. After taking the panel out I started following the power to find where the connection was broken. Sometimes in my dream I manage to summon some ultra detailed imagines, I have no idea how my fucked up brain does that. I have almost no visual memory when awake. All of a sudden, a pipe broke down and all the factory was under four meters of water. I started swimming to the surface, but I could not draw a breath even if my head was above water. Then my oximeter alarm woke me up, my blood oxygen was around 80%. Fuck my life and that NHS Non Invasive Ventilation machine, it's fucking useless.
>> No. 422809 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 6:55 am
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There were aliens, but they didn't land on the land. They landed in the sea and lived underwater so they were undetected.
>> No. 422810 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 1:26 pm
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>>422809

>They landed in the sea and lived underwater so they were undetected.

Sneaky bastards.
>> No. 422814 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 2:26 pm
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>>422809
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kraken_Wakes
>> No. 422815 Anonymous
10th December 2018
Monday 2:37 pm
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>>422809
Vigilo confido.
>> No. 422824 Anonymous
11th December 2018
Tuesday 1:53 pm
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>>422809

Did you dispatch XCOM units to intercept?
>> No. 423490 Anonymous
9th January 2019
Wednesday 9:30 am
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The entire thing was that someone on here had posted about having rust spots on their kitchen knife and I made a lengthy post on how to deal with that. There's not really that much to it, but I seemed to get a good few paragraphs out of it. Also, instead of my actual real life girlfriend being in the room with me as I posted, there was someone that, in the dream at least, I identified as being a britfa poster I had met on IRC.
>> No. 423491 Anonymous
9th January 2019
Wednesday 9:43 am
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Sleeplesslad from /101/. Spent the entire night drifting in and out of an awful waking fever dream about trying to get things back to people bbut being completely unable, then getting out of bed at 6am to violently throw up. Fuck my lifem
>> No. 423498 Anonymous
10th January 2019
Thursday 1:21 am
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>>423491
It's fucking norovirus. My head feels like it weighs 400kg and I haven't been able to eat anything for 30 hours. My legs require a herculean effort to move.
>> No. 423614 Anonymous
16th January 2019
Wednesday 12:57 pm
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I don't know what's wrong with me, but I keep fantasising about Grace Millane. Nothing weird or anything like that, just slipping her one.
>> No. 423615 Anonymous
16th January 2019
Wednesday 1:06 pm
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>>423614
>nothing weird
>> No. 423616 Anonymous
16th January 2019
Wednesday 1:16 pm
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>>423615
She's fit and looks like she was a game girl.

There's something about her that seriously gives me the horn and there's nothing wrong with thinking about slipping her one.
>> No. 423617 Anonymous
16th January 2019
Wednesday 1:28 pm
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>>423614

She looks a lot like a girl I used to go out with.

She always seemed the type to go and get herself murdered, too.
>> No. 423639 Anonymous
17th January 2019
Thursday 1:01 pm
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>>423616
>nothing wrong
>perfectly normal

yikes

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 423667 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 1:17 pm
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>>423639

Blimey.

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