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>> No. 416056 Anonymous
10th March 2018
Saturday 10:05 am
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New weekend thread? New weekend thread.

How's it going, ladmates?
564 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 418614 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 11:55 am
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>>418611
Don't get too comfortable, it could have been a premonition.
>> No. 418615 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 12:04 pm
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My missus wants to start a vlog. I don't know if she'll ever have the consistency required to keep it going, but she's involved in a minor slightly obscure sport, and a disproportionate amount of her friends do the same thing, and apparently it helps them a lot with sponsorship and that.

I don't suppose any of you lot do anything similar? I know how to edit a video enough to show her the basics but it's been a decade since I opened Premiere or shot any video so I'm sure I've missed out on a lot.

I think I'm definitely going to use it as an excuse to finally get a drone, mind.
>> No. 418616 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 12:28 pm
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>>418614 Or he could still be in the dream, knee deep in piss.
>> No. 418617 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 12:31 pm
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>>418616

PISSCEPTION
>> No. 418619 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 6:47 pm
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>>418615
I haven't got a clue what to do, but I am intending to start a shite youtube channel that no one will watch.

Inspired by a lot of channels that are actually good, like hand-tool-rescue or this old tony, I'm just going to set up a camera and film random projects I get up to.
First project will be doing up the garage of the house I'm just about to move into, I have grand plans to make a proper man-cave, with hookers and blackjack classical music and the smell of burnt schmoo. Are we allowed to say man cave here or is that a bit too "bantz and cheeky nandos."?

>she's involved in a minor slightly obscure sport
What's the sport if you don't mind saying? I've got in my mind some ancient thing from the middle-ages involving horses and cordwangles.
>> No. 418620 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 7:24 pm
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>>418615

The basics of editing haven't changed much. YouTube audiences are remarkably tolerant of jump cuts, so you don't need to do anything special as long as you keep things tight. You can edit things on your phone these days, although I wouldn't recommend it for anything other than short clips. Davinci Resolve is free and very good, if you want a professional NLE suite but don't want to piss about with pirate software.

I would strongly recommend using a decent microphone, because bad audio is the kiss of death. People don't mind shaky camerawork or bad lighting, but they'll hit the back button instantly if you sound like you're trapped down a well. RØDE make a range of good, affordable microphones for use with a smartphone or DSLR.
>> No. 418621 Anonymous
12th July 2018
Thursday 7:41 pm
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>>418619

I think I'd watch anything produced by a britfaggian but that sounds ace in it's own right. Good luck lad.

>What's the sport if you don't mind saying? I've got in my mind some ancient thing from the middle-ages involving horses and cordwangles.

I wish it was that exciting, but it's just a quite specific form of cycling, not even bike polo or anything esoteric though. There's an oddly large number of criterium and track cyclists who vlog, I don't particularly understand why, and it's pretty funny as they're all in each other's videos all recording each other, but they seem to do alright views wise.

>>418620

Appreciate the tips, I was just planning on pirating something to be honest, as I doubt my CS5 license still works. I'll have a look into it.

Can't agree more about getting the sound right, I'm a former studiolad myself, so I know I have a nice Sony shotgun knocking about somewhere that'd be perfect.
>> No. 418629 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:32 am
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>>418620

The thing people don't realise is you need to properly process the audio post-recording. Slam it under a brickwall compressor for that radio-DJ flat sound. Filter out the hiss.

I used to do a Game Grumps type thing with a mate. I made an ace introduction sequence and it was just his job to edit together and release the videos. We used my £250 AKG microphone, but the videos still always sounded like shit because he was too lazy to compress and EQ it no matter how much I screamed at him.

I'm sure a lot of these fancy podcast mics have that stuff built in these days come to think of it, but I suppose I'm just the type who likes to micromanage things.
>> No. 418631 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 8:46 am
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>>418629


>I'm sure a lot of these fancy podcast mics have that stuff built in these days come to think of it

I think so too. They're all USB these days so they probably have cheeky processing built right into the DACs. I bet there's a 'podcast mode' on most of them ffs.

I'm well aware that most people don't give a shit about bitrate or general quality of sound, but there's so many youtube videos that are unlistenable (and every other comment mentions it) put out by people who do this for a living and it's just unreal. Bad wind noise, buzzing, pops, even sometimes the old 'only sound in the left channel' gets uploaded and never seems to get fixed. I was listening to an old episode of a podcast recently, and one of the guys channels seemed to be panning hard from left to right when he was talking, it was quite possibly the most disgustingly annoying thing I've ever had to listen to on headphones. I made it about five minutes in.

More heinous crimes than vertical video, really.
>> No. 418633 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 10:10 am
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>>418631
>>418629
>>418620
There is the danger of going too far the other way, as well. There are people who compress, gate, and EQ the shit out of their audio until they sound almost robotic.
>> No. 418635 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 11:09 am
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>>418629

>The thing people don't realise is you need to properly process the audio post-recording. Slam it under a brickwall compressor for that radio-DJ flat sound. Filter out the hiss.

God no. Post-processing is always a sign of failure. Good recordings sound good straight out of the preamp. Sometimes you can't get things right at source and need to salvage it in post, but if all your recordings need to be processed heavily then you're doing something badly wrong.

Large-diaphragm condensers are usually a bad choice for domestic recording environments, because their high off-axis sensitivity means they capture a lot of ambient noise and room reflections. Most podcasters would be better off with a dynamic mic - an SM7B or RE20 if you've got the budget and a good preamp, or a Prodipe TT1 if you're skint. Lavaliers and shotguns are usually the best option for video and have fallen dramatically in price over the last few years. A pack of rockwool and 10 metres of calico costs about £50 and will do miracles in a small room; a cheap polyester duvet draped over a lighting stand also works very well.

Heavy compression is very fatiguing to listen to. Commercial radio stations use it to boost intelligibility in conditions of poor signal strength or listening environments with high ambient noise, but the vast majority of podcast listeners use headphones and will tolerate much higher dynamic range. Waves Vocal Rider is a much better choice for achieving consistent vocal levels, because it doesn't introduce compression artifacts. It's only £25 from Thomann.

Izotope RX is very useful for spot-fixing common recording errors, but it's always better to fix things at source. Pop shields, wind shields, shockmounts and gobos will give you better results and save you hours of effort.
>> No. 418637 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 11:33 am
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>>418635

>God no. Post-processing is always a sign of failure. Good recordings sound good straight out of the preamp. Sometimes you can't get things right at source and need to salvage it in post, but if all your recordings need to be processed heavily then you're doing something badly wrong.

Bear in mind we're talking about field recording for a vlog here.
>> No. 418638 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 1:58 pm
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>>418637

Use a Smartlav+, experiment with placement to get the best sound, use a windjammer where necessary. If you're a fancy dan, use a Tascam DR-10L or a Zoom H1 to record the lav and post-sync the audio with PluralEyes. If a lav isn't practical, use a hotshoe mount mini-shotgun or a Videomic Me clipped to a phone, again with a windjammer where necessary. Give a modicum of thought to your location and the ambient noise conditions.

A Vlog isn't all that different to ENG and the same processes apply. Figuring out how to get good sound at source is an up-front investment of time and money, but it gives you the best results and it's a huge time-saver in the long run.
>> No. 418641 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 3:30 pm
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>>418638

As mentioned I've already got an ECM-CG60 knocking about, the audio's not really ever going to be an issue. A camera you can reliably hold on a bike is probably the most important part of the equation, going by the style of existing vloggers in the niche.
>> No. 418643 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 5:02 pm
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The scantily clad tourist and immigrant women in London are far too attractive. I need to move to a majority English city where I don't want to fuck almost everything that moves.
>> No. 418645 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 5:51 pm
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>>418643

Just go an hour on the train to Basingstoke and wake up each morning trying to cut your wrists with a blunt spoon instead.
>> No. 418649 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 6:47 pm
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>>418645
Jesus H wot m8. I get that train quite often.
>> No. 418668 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 9:04 pm
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>>418649
ME TOO
>> No. 418669 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 9:07 pm
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>>418645>>418649>>418668

Have we shifted from ossetfa.gs to basingstokefa.gs? Fucking southerners.
>> No. 418672 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 9:15 pm
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>>418669

I'm still Welsh.
>> No. 418676 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 9:35 pm
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>>418672
I don't even know what I am anymore.
>> No. 418677 Anonymous
13th July 2018
Friday 9:38 pm
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>>418668
Fucking 'ell I hope not the 9:12 for CJ.
>> No. 418724 Anonymous
14th July 2018
Saturday 6:38 pm
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Back on the subject of shitty vlogs...
For someone who is a complete cretin who doesn't want to use his phone to film videos, can anyone recommend a good-enough camcorder that doesn't cost a fortune (if there is one). Say something around £50, or maybe £100 if that's what I need to spend.


These ebay specials look like they'd either be surprisingly good, or so so bad that I wouldn't even stick it up my own chocolate bon-bon factory if you gave me double my money back.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Incosky-1080P-FHD-Digital-Video-Camera-Camcorder-16-Zoom-TFT-LCD-Screen-DV-24MP/111950480928?epid=1895356921&hash=item1a10c4c620%3Ag%3AMMIAAOSwSlBY30w0&_nkw=camera&_from=R40&rt=nc
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WiFi-4K-Ultra-HD-24MP-30X-ZOOM-Night-Vision-DV-Digital-Video-Camera-Camcorder-DV/153027573620?hash=item23a1277774
>> No. 418725 Anonymous
14th July 2018
Saturday 7:21 pm
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>>418672

There's lovely.
>> No. 418733 Anonymous
14th July 2018
Saturday 10:14 pm
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>>418725

Diolch.
>> No. 418734 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:22 am
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Alright, which one of you lads did this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-44819316
>> No. 418735 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:49 am
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>>418724

> that I wouldn't even stick it up my own chocolate bon-bon factory if you gave me double my money back.

Some people would call that a win-win scenario.
>> No. 418736 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:59 am
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My neighbour downstairs had a visit from the police yesterday who searched his flat. They came at 7 am with two police vans and a few uniformed and plainclothes officers.

He is kind of a recluse and nobody really knows much about him, including just why exactly the police searched his flat yesterday. Being a ginger Brit, he is probably not a eskimo daft militant wog or anything like that. My neighbours next door said tonight that they heard something that it was related to drug charges or something. Who knows. It just occurred to me that he has lived in this building for probably two to three years and in all that time, I never really learned much more about him than the name on his door. He doesn't seem to be home often. He has said hello to me every time we've passed on the stairs, but that has really been it.
>> No. 418739 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 1:31 am
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>>418734
>Man drove car sitting on bucket and steering with pliers
Apparently Chaka Demus doesn't know what a bucket seat is.
>> No. 418741 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 1:41 am
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>>418734

And to think that I got stopped for a badly cracked front bumper once and was told pedestrians could hurt themselves on the cracks if I hit them.

That was good thinking. You don't want them cutting themselves on those cracks while they're flying up over your bonnet at 30 mph.
>> No. 418744 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 7:22 am
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>>418736
>Being a ginger Brit, he is probably not a eskimo daft militant wog

U wot?
>> No. 418745 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 8:48 am
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>>418741

You'll fail your MOT if you have any 'sharp edges or protrusions' on your car, so yea, you're lucky if you didn't get fined.

Would you rather be hit at 30mph or hit at 30mph while half the flesh on your shin gets ripped off?
>> No. 418746 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:01 pm
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>>418745
I'd rather not be hit at 30mph at all.
>> No. 418747 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:03 pm
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>>418746
TOUGH SHIT. YOU'RE GETTING HIT.
>> No. 418750 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:29 pm
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>>418746

Tell that to this bint.


>> No. 418751 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 12:51 pm
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>>418750

Public service announcements will do anything to shock you.

That's probably not even a real corpse there at the beginning.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0xmSV6aq0g
>> No. 418870 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 3:47 pm
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My chili peppers are starting to ripen.

They are Tabasco-type chili peppers, a capsicum frutescens cultivar.

And they're not just spicy, but spicy as fuck. They grow to about 5 cm, and one pepper is enough to make spicy chili con carne for four people.

I am in the process of making a homemade arrabiata pasta sauce to have with linguine noodles in a little bit. The sauce is fucking delicious, but it really feels like my mouth is on fire.

I love spicy foods though. I guess it is true that capsaicin releases endorphins.
>> No. 418871 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 3:54 pm
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>>418870
>I guess it is true that capsaicin releases endorphins.

Filthy spice addict.
>> No. 418872 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 4:18 pm
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>>418871

I love it, as I said.

I think I will make some pineapple chili sauce next week, like I did last year. It goes well with prawns but also some other types of seafood, or even chicken.

You basically take some diced pineapple, a bit of pureed pineapple, a touch of fresh mango and peach if they're in season, then add finely chopped onion, fresh garlic, your chili peppers, and a few other things like paprika, salt, vinegar, a bit of fresh ginger, vegetable oil, and a squeeze of lemon or lime. Maybe a small pinch of cumin if you are feeling adventurous. And then you gently cook it up with a bit of corn starch for five to ten minutes. If you then put it in sealed jam jars, it will last for months.
>> No. 418873 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 5:19 pm
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>>418870 Looking good!
How do you keep the bastarding whitefly off?
>> No. 418874 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 5:55 pm
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>>418873

No whiteflies this year. Had some aphids, but a few squirts of acetamiprid killed them right off early on in the season. Also effective against witeflies, if you have them.

Rose Clear Ultra Gun contains acetamiprid, but you can try a few places online for other products.
>> No. 418875 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 6:13 pm
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My parents have dropped off my birthday presents today. I can see there's a box with something from the 'Ministry of Chaps', which is almost certainly going to be awful.
>> No. 418876 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 6:40 pm
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I am going to a rave in an illegal location tonight and feeling way too old for this shit and likely to sit there drinking in a corner talking to no-one instead of dancing, but ladies of loose morals will be present and it is better than staying in. Possibly. Let me get back to you on how bad an idea this was later.
>> No. 418877 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 6:44 pm
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And I should have posted this horrific mug really, commiserations on your birthday present >>418875 - these really are the worst novelty items ever made.
>> No. 418878 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 7:07 pm
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>>418876

>I am going to a rave in an illegal location tonight

1988 just called.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpeRShWMdYM
>> No. 418879 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 8:31 pm
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>>418870
Nice. I normally grow them, but haven't got any this year. Partly because I've got hopefully enough to last me the year in my freezer already. It's a shame though, I'd have got a bumper crop in this weather.


>>418871
>Filthy spice addict.
Takes one to know one.
>> No. 418880 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 8:51 pm
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>>418879

This is also a high yield cultivar, and I can expect to harvest some 50 peppers per plant this year. The weather has really been great this year. For pretty much everything.

I'm really not sure what to do with 150 chili peppers, but I guess I will end up making loads of sauce from them. One of my specialties is mojo rojo, the Canarian spicy red sauce with plenty of chili and garlic.

And you can dry chili peppers too without a problem. Just leave them in a dry and warm place where they can't catch mold, and they will keep for up to two years. After that, they will probably lose flavour.

And a few peppers will go to a few friends who want some seeds to grow their own plants next year. I'll have to give them some pointers though, because Tabasco chili peppers aren't ideal for beginners. They are a bit more sensitive to the right or wrong conditions than other cultivars.
>> No. 418881 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 9:10 pm
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>>418876

Disco in the back of a truck?
>> No. 418884 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 11:02 pm
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>>418877

>whistles and glowsticks

Ah, good times. It's kind of those things that I miss about being old.

That, and being able to dance all night, get pissed off my tits, and pull untold numbers of 20-year-olds. And then go to class again at uni on Monday morning as if nothing happened.

These days, I need the whole weekend to bounce back if I drink half a bottle of red wine at a dinner party Friday night.
>> No. 418885 Anonymous
21st July 2018
Saturday 11:20 pm
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Coal, not dole

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