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>> No. 420674 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 5:39 pm
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Weekend thread: low sun being a cunt edition.
373 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 423078 Anonymous
21st December 2018
Friday 1:21 pm
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>>423061

>Illegal drugs are still illegal at Stonehenge as they are anywhere else. The police will be on site during the access period and will take immediate action against anyone breaking the law.

That's disconcerting.
>> No. 423079 Anonymous
21st December 2018
Friday 3:50 pm
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>>423078
Police presence at large gathering shocker.
>> No. 423117 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 2:57 pm
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So this is what I missed today by not being able to go to Stonehenge.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwm_sAEvaVM

Worth driving to Wiltshire from London in the middle of the night? Your guess is as good as mine.
>> No. 423118 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 3:01 pm
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>>423117
The crowds would ruin it. Better to find some obscure site to go and take drugs with just a few people. There's no lack of standing stones or burial mounds in these isles, can't be too hard to find someplace that'll retain the magic.
>> No. 423120 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 4:13 pm
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>>423118

>The crowds would ruin it

To me the crowds would kind of be the point of going there. It may all seem a tad too happy-clappy in the video clip, but I'm sure being there in person, the atmosphere at sunrise could be quite something to take in.

I find crowds like these also good to practice my social anxiety compensation skills. I like to throw myself into cold water at times, in crowds of perfect strangers all on my own, because that way I get a feeling that not all hope is lost with me. Even a bit of lively small talk with a random person can make you feel like people value your company.
>> No. 423121 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 5:45 pm
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>>423120
Grand but you can talk to strangers any day. If you're making the trip to standing stones to bask in the pageantry and mysticism of pagan solstice rituals, a few hundred people standing around in parkas, wooly hats and mittens is going to ruin the whole thing.
>> No. 423124 Anonymous
22nd December 2018
Saturday 9:56 pm
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>>423121
They would be the worst kind of crusties too.
>> No. 423127 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 1:29 am
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>>423124

>crusties

Now, now. You will be old too one day.

Fun fact: Stonehenge is not an actual henge.

As per the archaelogical definition of a henge.
>> No. 423128 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 1:43 am
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>>423127
They may be different beasts but they serve the same function. Fuck's sake, lads. You really will argue over anything.
>> No. 423130 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 2:02 am
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>>423128

This was actually discussed on QI once. I think Stephen Fry asked the question "Can you name a henge", and they all fell for it.
>> No. 423146 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 6:26 pm
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It's the bisexual furry mental breakdown lad back again, it's been a while.

So after swearing I'd never go with a guy again. I think I've fallen for that guy who put his gender down as "both".
Met him a few times, but the trouble is he's even more socially awkward than I am, and chronically depressed, and pretty much hasn't left his bed at all since he finished work.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ME AND MY STUPID HEAD
>> No. 423147 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 6:34 pm
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>>423146
Welcome back lad - you know exactly what we're going to say to support you - Consider if you are truly mentally and emotionally capable of supporting a partner with their own mental health issues.
>> No. 423148 Anonymous
23rd December 2018
Sunday 6:35 pm
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>>423147
Oh that is word filter of the year, well done everyone.
>> No. 423154 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 12:25 am
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>>423148

Testing based on my suspicions:

Consider if you are truly mentally and emotionally capable of supporting a partner with their own mental health issues.
>> No. 423155 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 1:36 am
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>>423154

Someone needs to dig out the first instance of that wordfilter, because it's automatic PoTY material.
>> No. 423157 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 3:56 am
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>>423154
It's a Festivus miracle!
>> No. 423160 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 9:40 am
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Avoid mental slugs
>> No. 423161 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 9:48 am
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3QEjMq6e68
>> No. 423162 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 9:52 am
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>>423160

Consider if you are truly mentally and emotionally capable of supporting an apparently shell-less terrestrial gastropod mollusc with their own mental health issues.
>> No. 423165 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 11:38 am
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>>423160

Me, I'm more scared of Metal slags.
>> No. 423166 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 11:44 am
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Some idiot woman let her dog loose on me. I knew something was off just from the first sight of her, not the slightest idea what exactly though. Just a gut feeling, confirmed when she said, 'Give me money [back], or I'll release the dog' and started to unmuzzle the bloody animal.

I am unsure if she's addled or had someone nick a tenner from her for real. She definitely called me 'a bandit'. I'd vouch for being barmy, though when the police involved - they popped out of nowhere - she claimed that she wouldn't have released the dog if I had started backing off.

Too bad I didn't hear clearly what she told me when she began to approach. No sane individual would let loose their dog without properly assessing the situation. I doubt she's blind enough not to recognise that I'm not the person she'd been looking for. And her speech delivery was just too calm for someone being distressed over a stolen tenner.
>> No. 423168 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 12:11 pm
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>>423161

Is this for real?

Even for a creature feature, that just seems pretty shit.
>> No. 423169 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 12:34 pm
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Just popped down Tesco for some Croissants and witnessed scenes of chaos.
>> No. 423170 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 12:37 pm
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>>423146

Listen pal. I'm the furfag around here. The fuck off my patch.
>> No. 423171 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 12:41 pm
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>>423168

Yes. I remember the Horror Channel, the free channel on Sky had all kinds of stuff like that.
>> No. 423173 Anonymous
24th December 2018
Monday 4:22 pm
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>>423171

Right, I think it was called Zone Horror first and then CBS Horror. They also had Zone (later CBS) Action, where they repeated old episodes of COPS every day.

And I got into CBS Drama for a while, where they reran the entire original series of Dallas.

There are a bunch of free to air channels on BSkyB/Freesat that you don't normally take notice of. There's even a whole handful of religious channels on there, like the God Channel or the Shamanism Channel.

The God Channel used to be fun to watch when I came home from a night out off my tits looking for something mentally unchallenging to wind down to before going to bed. There's just something about sneering at "y'all" simpleton redneck TV preachers that makes you feel just the right amount better than everybody else. At least when you've come home after eight pints.
>> No. 423228 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 12:00 am
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Well great, my plans for new years eve just fell through. The party I was going to go to got cancelled and my few other friends already have plans for something else where I can't tag along.

Fuck.
>> No. 423229 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 12:19 am
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>>423228
That sounds like a result though.

New Years parties are fucking awful.
>> No. 423232 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 10:42 am
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>>423228
Go to an escape room on your own with a bottle of vodka and as soon as they lock you in, start drinking until you pass out.
>> No. 423233 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 11:21 am
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>>423173
Watch Talking Pictures, it will change your life.

>>423228
I'd say the majority of the .gs userbase spends their New Years at home making noise complaints so you won't be alone. Normally I just put a film on.
>> No. 423234 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 11:23 am
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>>423233
>I'd say the majority of the .gs userbase spends their New Years at home making noise complaints so you won't be alone.

Who can forget the usual contest to make "last post of the year, lads"?
>> No. 423235 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 12:25 pm
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>>423232

They've got CCTV in those rooms, they'll chuck you out if you start boozing and/or shagging.

Don't judge me for knowing that.
>> No. 423236 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 12:36 pm
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>>423235
I don't think they care too much about whether you follow the rules. I've done one steaming drunk where you were only meant to use the equipment they provided you with but used the torch on my phone the entire time and they didn't give a shit.
>> No. 423240 Anonymous
29th December 2018
Saturday 1:05 pm
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Good news, I just managed to secure myself another party for new years eve.

It's going to be a bit of a drive, about an hour from here, but it is better still than staying home and feeling miserable.
>> No. 423245 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 3:16 am
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>>423232
>>423235
>>423236

I won't do it over New Years Eve, but I'll make a point of taking a team where we've all dropped a bunch of clonazepam and quietapine and start drinking vodka or gin out of water bottle the moment we get in there.

If nothing else it'll make for something to tell the grand kids.
>> No. 423246 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 10:30 am
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My neighbour who works in the kitchen of a psychiatric hospital has given me a 20kg sack of short-dated instant mash. I dunno what to do with it, might just tip it all in the pond. Any ideas?
>> No. 423247 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 10:43 am
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>>423246

Eat some? A bit of sausage, mash, some onion gravy? Magic.
You could also freeze some, but twenty kilos? Bloody Nora.
>> No. 423248 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 10:43 am
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>>423246

That'd make at least 60kg of mash, maybe more. Dump it in the pond immediately, or maybe a local swimming pool.

I suspect dried instant mash is the sort of thing that never actually really goes off, so you could just keep it and probably have a decent year or so of mash.

Or you could start a fetish website where women (or men, why not) wrestle in the stuff. Or you could launch a YouTube career by remaking Bodger and Badger episodes. The world is your oyster now.
>> No. 423249 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 10:47 am
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>>423246

Get on YouTube with this video :

World's biggest Mash pool - 60kg INSTANT MASH in SWIMMING POOL

Don't forget to try and swim in it!
>> No. 423251 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 11:00 am
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>>423248

Actually now that I've done a bit of fag packet maths, based on the recommended values for Smash - 180g of Smash takes 900g of water, meaning it's actually, what, 110kg of potential mash on your hands?

That's fucking mental. I'm a cheflad and I can't even visualise that much potato. It's probably at least six large wheely bins.
>> No. 423252 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 11:06 am
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>>423248
>you could launch a YouTube career by remaking Bodger and Badger episodes

I could get behind this. You could also invite the local homeless for a decadent mash potato party. Feed the needy whilst letting them have some much needed fun.
>> No. 423254 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 11:14 am
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>>423246
Sell it to students as MDMA.
>> No. 423255 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 1:01 pm
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>>423254
It'll get them SMASHED.
>> No. 423257 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 1:15 pm
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You could just sell it. Smash is 73.2p per 100g on ocado, that's at least £400 worth. Just knock up some labels on a printer.
>> No. 423258 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 1:20 pm
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>>423257
It's short dated, so you'd have to discount that by around a third. Plus you'd have to set up a market stall or something to sell the mash, with all of the logistics and added costs that entails. It wouldn't be worth the effort.

I reckon you should go back to your supplier, OP. Presumably you're not the only person they are trying to offload the instant mash on and they may have more they want rid of; see if you can get more off them.
>> No. 423260 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 1:52 pm
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>>423258

>see if you can get more off them

I've already got about 19.5kg more instant mash than I know what to do with. Why would I want more? I don't want to be going round the markets flogging bags of moody mash. My life is complicated enough without getting hassle off the council inspector about use-by dates and fucking EU labelling laws.
>> No. 423262 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 2:31 pm
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>>423260
Well, if you have enough of it leftover you could just let it all loose from a tall hill on a wet and windy day. I'm sure local residents will see the funny side once they set out on their surreal morning commute.
>> No. 423267 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 6:07 pm
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>>423260

If you cook all the mash and freeze it you can get around the law. Then you can just carve mash chunks off and stick it in the microwave to sell to students. Open a trendy mash bar, like people have done with cereal and crisp sandwiches. Give your neighbour 5% off the top to keep delivering you the goods, and once you've sold about half of your original haul you can likely afford a mash assistant to make the mash for you. Then you can concentrate on menu design and marketing (I can help you with that, my rates are scalable) If you're in a studenty area you could absolutely command about £3 per bowl of mash, that's three grand of pure profit per sack. You'd sell that in a fortnight at the very least in a populated city.

Once we've sold probably three or four sacks of short dated mash, your profit margin will likely allow for an overhaul of the premises, and the use of real, live potatoes, at which point the quality and perceived value of your operation will increase exponentially.

At this point you would hire an experienced chef to perfect the mash menu and start aiming for your first mention in the Michelin guide. While doing this we'd also be shopping for other locations and putting in place a plan to expand the business as a chain, or talking with food producers to strike a deal to sell an instant version of your famous mash in shops.
>> No. 423268 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 6:21 pm
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>> No. 423269 Anonymous
30th December 2018
Sunday 6:44 pm
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When I was in primary school they used to do mash potato with cheese on top as a rare treat. Do that.

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