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>> No. 420674 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 5:39 pm
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Weekend thread: low sun being a cunt edition.
Expand all images.
>> No. 420677 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 6:24 pm
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Finishing a huge pile of work so I can go on holiday next week. I shall be on here all weekend, I suspect. Expect drunken moaning late on Sunday.
>> No. 420685 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 7:55 pm
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>>420674
It's being a cunt but I love this time of year.
>> No. 420687 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 8:04 pm
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Have to get my car ready for MOT this weekend. It needs new brake fluid, and possibly new front wishbone bushes. The car is an S reg MGF.

Not sure about the bushes yet. They move a little bit when I stick a long screwdriver into the wishbone and try to move the bushes a bit, but they don't seem as bad yet. I think I'll chance it because that's really a fair bit of work on the MGF and requires lowering the front subframe.

The brake fluid does need a change though, I've got one of those electronic, pen-type brake fluid testers and it goes all red when I dip it in the brake fluid. I think I'll buy one of those DIY brake bleeding kits from Halford's.
>> No. 420688 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 8:11 pm
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>>420687

I wish I knew enough about cars to do stuff like this with my car. It's nearly ten years old and I've probably put as much money into servicing as the thing is worth over the last couple of years.

How do I find a garage that won't rip me off? I do feel like I might be getting ripped off.
>> No. 420689 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 8:21 pm
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>>420688
>How do I find a garage that won't rip me off?

Pot luck. I've used three different garages where I live and two of them I'd trust completely. The other, a recommendation from a neighbour, I'd avoid at all costs.
>> No. 420691 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 9:38 pm
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>>420688

I've heard various tricks for finding out if you mechanic is a cunt, but they all seem to assume prior car knowledge, things like de-gapping a spark plug and seeing if they try to charge you for an engine rebuild, stuff like that.

It seems like it's mostly luck as >>420689 says. I find google reviews and such to be mostly useless, as there always seems to be as many glowing reviews as there are ones with AVOID and SCAM in block capitals.
>> No. 420692 Anonymous
28th September 2018
Friday 10:21 pm
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>>420691

You definitely have to be on your toes.

One thing you should never do is give your car to them and tell them to "get it MOT ready". That's just an invitation for them to charge you an arm and a leg and fuck with you any way they please. When I was a bit more naive many years ago, that's what I did, and they charged me 20 quid once to change two £1.20 indicator light bulbs.

I was able to prevent much worse, when they called me and said my tyres probably weren't going to make it through MOT, and that they were a special size that would be particularly expensive. They said it would be £120 per tyre, and that all four needed changing. So with that info, I called a Volkswagen garage (I was driving a Golf estate at the time), and the mechanic at the other end broke out laughing and said my tyre size was THE bog standard of all bog standard tyre sizes that a Golf came off the assembly line with at the time, and that any garage worth its salt was going to be able to order premium-brand tyres for a little more than half that.

My advice is that if you have any kind of technical inclination, start working on your own car. Familiarise yourself with the mechanics of it, and especially if you drive an older car, they are still usually quite easy to work on.

I've been fixing my own cars for 20 years, at first because I was at uni and didn't have a lot of money to always take my cars to the shop, but it grew from that, and nowadays, probably the only thing I wouldn't do on my own car is complicated engine repairs. Because anything that involves disassembling half your engine block and all that kind of thing is really best left to somebody who really knows what he is doing.
>> No. 420698 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 8:00 am
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I've had the opposite problem.

A few years ago the bushings on one of the offside suspension arms wore out, leading to an almighty rattling when I went round bumpy corners, it was coming up to its MOT and got repaired then.
When the same problem arose on the kerbside a year later, the garage said "no no no you've got loads of wear left in it", just nipped up the bolts a little, and now it's worse than ever.
>> No. 420699 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 10:55 am
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>>420698

I've never been too worried about my garage outright ripping me off by doing unnecessary work. But it has occurred to me that they might be leaving stuff to deteriorate further so it costs more when they do bring it to my attention.

I think once I've got as much as I can squeeze out of this car, stuff it, I'll just get one of those PCP things where all the work is included and you get a new one every other year. It's not as cheap but it seems like less hassle.
>> No. 420702 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 12:02 pm
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With PCPs, what happens if you do something daft?
I ran over a parking ramp recently, and battered the front of my (crappy) car, breaking the radiator, bumper and grille.
A bit of fixing up and it's all good enough.
I take it that the PCP terms include fixing stuff properly (invoking insurance, given the price of repairs done properly).
Then I got a stone thrown up, did for the new radiator a couple of months later. Is that another insurance claim?
While I quite fancy a shiny new car and no maintenance, I get the feeling that I should stick with running £2k cars into the ground over a few years?
>> No. 420707 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 12:44 pm
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>>420702
>invoking insurance, given the price of repairs done properly

Car insurance is increasingly becoming a racket.

A few months back my other half very slowly bumped into another car; she'd anticipated they'd set off at a roundabout when they didn't. There was a slight crack on our number plate but, from the pictures I've seen, I couldn't see any damage to their car. Nevertheless the other driver decided to claim for it on their insurance as it was a brand new car; we initially offered to pay for it but the garage she went to quotes about £1,200 for a new bumper, replacing all the rear parking sensors and all sorts of other bollocks. The total cost through the insurers came to just shy of £5,000; around £1,500 for the repairs and over £3,000 to cover the cost of a courtesy car. They must have given her a Lamborghini or something.
>> No. 420709 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 1:07 pm
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>>420707

I had something similar happen in a traffic jam on the M3 once. It was stop and go traffic, and at some point for some reason I bumped into the guy in front of me lightly. Meaning, at barely 3 mph. There were slight scratches in the plastic on the underside of the guy's rear bumper, which was an almost brand new Ford Focus estate.

There clearly really wasn't a lot of damage at all, but the guy insisted on calling the police, even though I assured him that with my name and address and insurance details, he would have all the information he'd ever need to get his damage fixed. The police clearly weren't happy that they had to drive five miles through a traffic jam for a few scratches on a bumper, and thankfully lectured the guy that this kind of thing didn't normally require police help.

We exchanged details and went back on our ways as the traffic jam cleared up. Then a few weeks later, I got a letter from my insurance saying the damage was £970. The lad had the entire bumper replaced and a new one painted, plus a courtesy car for a few days. I was livid, but there isn't much you can do when somebody decides to go that route. He apparently had the repairs done at an authorised Ford garage, and it'll always be hard to argue with them.
>> No. 420712 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 1:22 pm
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>>420688
Ask some local cabbies. Their vehicles rack up a lot of miles, and so need a lot of attention. They bring a lot of repeat business and they talk amongst themselves. They'll generally know who to avoid.q
>> No. 420725 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 3:42 pm
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Thinking about it, why don't garages offer cashback when you dump a car with them for insurance funded repairs? or 'next service free' or something? There's clearly padding on the invoices - although, is it that they do extra work at standard rates, rather than just making shit up?
Either way, I'm surprised there's not more, rather than less, scamming involved.
>> No. 420733 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 5:07 pm
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>>420725

>Either way, I'm surprised there's not more, rather than less, scamming involved.

The possibilities for scams are indeed manifold. And sometimes, it's just a matter of how you frame certain things.

One of my friends had an old Merc that got totalled when somebody slid into his boot from behind on black ice. The other guy's insurance indiscriminately said it was only worth £4,000 in an undamaged state up to that point, and the repairs would exceed the car's residual value and the car would therefore be a £4,000 writeoff. My friend then got the help of an independent appraiser, who valued the car at £6,800 due to its very good state and extras. The repairs were then just over £5,000, and my friend got his car back almost good as new.

Now in my friend's case, the car really was plausibly worth much more than the four grand the insurance initially wanted to pay. All I am saying is, with the right appraiser, somebody could force you to pay for expensive repairs to a car you've damaged that should actually be written off for much less.
>> No. 420743 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 6:29 pm
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I flew a kite today, first time in my life. It was actually quite fun.
>> No. 420744 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 6:34 pm
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>>420743

I remember when I was incredibly young I had one of those stunt kites with the two strings so you could steer it and that. The thing was far too big for me and pulled me over a few times. Great fun considering what a ludicrous idea they are when you really think about it.
>> No. 420746 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 6:41 pm
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I've always wanted an MPC and have never really got around to buying one. I noticed their prices are slowly creeping up on eBay so I feel like I should get one now. Thing is it'd probably just gather dust since I have so many other things that do the same job plus more and also better, Maschine, Push 2, MPD's etc.

I almost want one just to keep it as an investment at this point, but I wonder if anyone would even give a shit about an MPC 1000 in a decade.
>> No. 420748 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 7:03 pm
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>>420746

I'd be confident in the long-term investment value of an MPC 60, but less so for the later MPCs. An s900 is also probably a sensible investment. If you didn't use an MPC the first time round, I think you'll be rather disappointed at how clunky and slow the MPC workflow is compared to Maschine or Push. There's no way I'd use one in 2018, there are just so many better options available.

If you're after a musical toy, I can highly recommend the Novation Circuit - it's the most fun I've had with a piece of gear in years.
>> No. 420751 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 8:03 pm
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>>420748

>I think you'll be rather disappointed at how clunky and slow the MPC workflow is compared to Maschine or Push.

That's what I assumed, as well. More than anything, I just wanted to 'know' what it was like - I've made hundreds of tracks that sound like they were made on one, so I might as well try it. And I do subscribe to the idea that deliberate limitations can often benefit my creativity. I find that my giant Maschine and Live libraries can trip me up and I end up spending hours just scrolling and clicking and then I give up. Sometimes I still use a cassette Portastudio for this very reason. Get ideas away from the terabytes of distractions, then build it all back into Live when I have something interesting going on.

Having grown up with Ableton (I started on Live 6) I realise nothing will ever be more useful or familiar to me than Live and Push together, Honestly I doubt I need anything else now. But I've been curious for long enough, I think. I reckon I could buy one and resell it in a month when I'm bored and possibly even profit from it. But like you say, it's probably not even worth the effort.

I hadn't even heard of the Circuit. I think I might have seen one and assumed it was yet another control surface. That does look like a shitload of fun,
>> No. 420752 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 8:04 pm
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>>420743

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNSler7jBWs
>> No. 420754 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 8:50 pm
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>>420751

My circuit goes everywhere with me. Precisely for the reasons you've mentioned, I tend to come up with more ideas sitting on the train with my Circuit than I do in my studio. I once wrote an entire track on the toilet. It's just barely enough to be useful - two synths, four drums, a step sequencer and very little else.

You might also like the Korg Volca range. They're plasticky little toys that look a bit like a Stylophone, but they sound brilliant.


>> No. 420755 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 9:02 pm
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In a hostel in Scotland, place is full of limp Euro Beta males, thank fuck I voted Leave. Off to climb mountains and do manly stuff.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 420763 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 10:14 pm
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>>420754

>Precisely for the reasons you've mentioned, I tend to come up with more ideas sitting on the train with my Circuit than I do in my studio. I once wrote an entire track on the toilet.

Yup, I'm the same. I find often I'm the least creative when I'm sat with all my toys, paralysed by choice I suppose. I used to have great fun with the Electribe iPad app, it ended up being really rather productive for me. A lot of my best work has come from just chopping stuff up and sound designing on planes and trains. I suppose that's the sort of thing I was hoping would come from the MPC, but once an idea starts to form I'll likely be annoyed that I lack the options to roll with it.

I've fiddled with a Volca and it's certainly on my list, too, that and a Circuit would probably be fairly powerful.

The big daddy of toilet tunes I would assume would be an OP-1, but I've not even seen one in the flesh and as they're pushing eight hundred quid I'm a bit scared of them. Looks like an amazing sketch pad, though.


>> No. 420764 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 10:19 pm
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>>420755
>In a hostel in Scotland, place is full of limp Euro Beta males
Aviemore? It's usually Aviemore.
>> No. 420765 Anonymous
29th September 2018
Saturday 10:39 pm
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>>420763

If you're happy working on the iPad, Korg Gadget is brilliant. It's a bit pricey for an app at £40, but it's good value at that price. The included softsynths sound excellent and it has very tight integration with Ableton Live. There's a free LE version available on the app store if you want to try before you buy.

https://www.korg.com/uk/products/software/korg_gadget/for_ios.php
>> No. 420782 Anonymous
30th September 2018
Sunday 10:42 am
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I don't think I'm ever going to get a flat stomach.
>> No. 420863 Anonymous
1st October 2018
Monday 11:45 am
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It's week-end for me already, clouded by the fact that I'm ill. Maybe I'll start recovering tomorrow, it was at its toughest yesterday and this night.

Came to my father's house today. He was absent; there was a blanket laying on one sofa. I covered myself with it whilst sitting there and fell out of reality in a blink for about three hours. Couldn't even remotely re-call how and when did I fall to sleep.

Gimme a bit of your cunty sun, it's annoyingly cold here.
>> No. 420915 Anonymous
1st October 2018
Monday 7:37 pm
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>>420782
You will. You just have to keep doing it for a bit longer than you think.
>> No. 421081 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 6:04 pm
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It's here it's here it's here.

Plans for my evening include cooking myself a lovely cider and black garlic risotto (just as soon as I can be bothered to get off my arse to go buy some cider), finishing off a report for work as I'm presenting at a conference in Worcester in Nov, and doing loads of fucking ironing. Even the fact that my Friday slice of chocolate banana bread from the farmer's market got crushed in my bag can't bring me down.

I bloody love ironing.
>> No. 421083 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 6:35 pm
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Having defined weekends was the only tolerable thing about working full-time. As a Master's student, I'll be doing what I do every other day. Tons of work until I can't really focus any more, then drinking.
>> No. 421087 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 9:27 pm
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>>421081
You sound like a smeeeee... Like a smeee-heeeeeeid!
>> No. 421088 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 9:44 pm
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Just remembered that lovely walk I went on was a year and half ago. My life really is an empty husk of fuck all and I should kill myself as soon as possible.
>> No. 421089 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 9:58 pm
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>>421088
You should go for another walk. Walking is lovely.
>> No. 421090 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 10:06 pm
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>>421089
Oh, I've been on plenty of walks since, but now they're just another period of time between being asleep for me to be reminded how hopeless and lonely I am. I may as well stay in bed.
>> No. 421091 Anonymous
5th October 2018
Friday 11:11 pm
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Just booked a week in Gran Canaria yesterday. I'm going at the end of October.

This is the time of year when the island is usually jam packed with wrinkly British, Swedish and German pensioners, but maybe there will at least be some other people there as well.

If what I have read is true, the weather is still lovely there in October, with often more than 25 °C still. What's treacherous though is the sun in the Canaries. Despite the islands' temperate climate considering their location just north of the Tropic of Cancer, you've got the searing tropical sun burning down all year long. So that even at 23 °C air temperature, you can burn to a cinder if you walk around in the sun too long without proper sunscreen. Happened to me once, I was walking less than a mile from our hotel to a supermarket and back in the mid-day sun, but it was enough to give me a savage sunburn down the back of my neck.

I couldn't go anywhere this summer because I had to make some expensive household related purchases, but I've been able to raise some money again lately as my budget for a one-week holiday. Better than braving the cold weather here.
>> No. 421093 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 3:16 am
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>>421091

Do let us know how the potatoes with red sauce are this time. We are always agog as to their piquantness.
>> No. 421097 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 2:30 pm
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>>421093

The quality of that red sauce can indeed vary shockingly from restaurant to restaurant.

Good restaurants make mojo rojo (the red sauce) fresh and from scratch every (other) day, but you can tell when somebody uses mojo ready made from the supermarket. Because the ready made stuff tends to taste really quite bland and has far too much cumin in it. My suspicion is that much of the flavour is destroyed as the sauce is cooked to sterilise it. Fresh mojo rojo is from fresh raw ingredients and tastes like it, although it probably won't keep as long.

Fresh mojo rojo is really quite easy and inexpensive to make, which is why I don't understand that some places buy it in. All you need is fresh red chili pepper and red bell pepper, copious amounts of fresh garlic (half a head of garlic goes into about half a litre of mojo rojo), vegetable oil, vinegar, tomato paste, salt, sugar, paprika, a dash of cumin, and a squirt of lemon juice. And maybe some wheat flour, bread crumbs or corn starch to thicken it a little.

If you buy these ingredients in bulk as a restaurant, then it should cost you a fraction of the price of the ready made sauce. And your customers, at least the connaisseurs who know good mojo rojo when they see it, will appreciate it.

The ready made stuff is even sold in the souvenir shop in the departure area of Gran Canaria's airport. I think they wanted about five euros for it the last time I was there. But as souvenirs go, it's really quite shit. If you want to treat somebody at home to mojo rojo, invite them for dinner and make it fresh yourself.

See the picture for a good mojo rojo. It's supposed to have a thick creamy texture, but it's not a uniform mush and you can still make out things like seeds or bits of chili or bell pepper.
>> No. 421098 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 3:10 pm
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I must have slept funny last night because I'm in quite a lot of discomfort with my neck. Looking at certain angles or even bending down are completely out of the equation at the moment.
>> No. 421099 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 4:13 pm
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>>421098

That's usually caused by awkward positioning or a shit pillow. The worse thing you can do is avoid those actions, FYI. Just keep stretching and do sympathetic exercises. So if you're stretching the sore side, do the other side as well so you don't lock or freeze the joint.
>> No. 421100 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 8:02 pm
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Got back from Edinburgh yesterday. Had a whirlwind few days with a 1 in a million Swiss girl that I met whilst there, one of the special ones. Kind of beat up by going our separate ways.


>> No. 421101 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 8:03 pm
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>>421100
What is it with you lads and Swiss girls?
>> No. 421102 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 9:54 pm
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>>421101

I thought the same thing. I'm almost expecting my own Swiss fling next weekend.
>> No. 421103 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 11:09 pm
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What the fuck is going on here lads? I actually met a Swiss girl for the first time last weekend, we were sniffing round each other a fair bit I'd say but were a both little shy and cautious. Added her on social media today and she is giving love reactions to my posts right away.
>> No. 421104 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 11:11 pm
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SWISSFA.GS
>> No. 421105 Anonymous
6th October 2018
Saturday 11:46 pm
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The most beautiful woman I've ever seen was when I was on holiday in Switzerland. She was working on one of the trains at Montreux.

She must have been around 6 foot tall. Her blonde hair was in a couple of French plaits. Full lips. Soft skin. Thighs that could have crushed a watermelon. When she spoke in French she sounded like a Goddess. Then she realised I was English and her deep accent was truly terrifying.
>> No. 421106 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 6:14 am
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My girlfriend is swiss. What the actual fuck, lads.
>> No. 421107 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 9:52 am
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I like swiss chocolate for what it's worth lads.
>> No. 421108 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 10:43 am
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Trying to get with a fat Swiss art student this weekend. Wish me luck, lads
>> No. 421109 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 11:36 am
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Bloody Habsburgs, I won't be taken in!
>> No. 421110 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 12:17 pm
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As a child I had a versatile pocket knife that I think was made in Switzerland.
>> No. 421112 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 12:43 pm
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>>421107
That's all they have. Nazi gold, chocolate and cuckoo clocks; and eligible women it would seem.
>> No. 421113 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 3:07 pm
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I had a rather nice piece of Fior Delle Alpi the other day, which is a Swiss cheese.
>> No. 421114 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 7:56 pm
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I, for one, welcome our new Swiss overlords.
>> No. 421116 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 10:38 pm
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I've started preparations for my holiday in Gran Canaria. Haven't booked a hire car yet, not sure yet what kind to get. I would like a convertible, but I had one the last few times, and what I've noticed is that when you venture to the areas where native Canarios are more among themselves, they tend to think of you as a rich tourist cunt in a New Beetle convertible, which for the average Canario equals more than two years' wages (average income in the Canaries is around €17,000/yr). A New Mini convertible would also be available, but I absolutely fucking hate the New Mini in any way, shape, or form, and I'd rather walk or take a bus than have one as a hire car.

A New Beetle can be had from Hertz or Avis via price comparison sites from about £150 to £200 for a week, so you aren't really being a rich cunt by renting one. Considering that you do get a full size convertible for that money, I think it's not too bad for one week. Especially if you get a good deal on your package holiday in the first place.
>> No. 421117 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 11:10 pm
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>>421116
In what sense is a Beetle, even the obese newer ones, "full size"?
>> No. 421118 Anonymous
7th October 2018
Sunday 11:56 pm
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>>421117

As a convertible, it is. If you look at other convertibles anyway. And the New Beetle is generally much more roomy inside than you would think.

I'd never buy one for myself though. Just not a very manly car, you always kind of feel like a doctor's wife while you are driving in it.

They used to have the Volkswagen Eos for hire in the Canaries as a convertible, but when VW discontinued it in 2016, they switched to the New Beetle. I was much more impressed with the Eos really. Especially the later model years with the bold new headlamps and grille made it a sharp looking car. I feel tempted to get one here in the UK, with prices now having dropped below £15K for good 2014-16 ones.
>> No. 421119 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 1:13 am
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>>421118
Do they have the Opel/Vauxhall Cascada? While it has the name of a popular chav artist from the mid-2000s, it's bigger than the Beetle and you don't have to drive a Beetle.

Weirdly, it's still based on the D1 Astra, but the D2 Astra has been out for about 3 years now.
>> No. 421120 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 2:58 am
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I fucking hate these Heisenbergian moments where I don't know if I'm developing a panic attack, a migraine aura, or a fucking stroke. All I can do is eat some clonazepam, an aspirin, put a few beers in the freezer and sit by the phone waiting to see if my face starts drooping or I start slipping out of consciousness.
>> No. 421123 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 10:57 am
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>>421119

I'm not sure I have seen them there. They do seem like a more desirable car.
>> No. 421124 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 12:12 pm
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>>421120
Well why don't you measure your position or momentum but not both.
>> No. 421125 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 1:23 pm
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Saw this and thought of you cunts
>> No. 421126 Anonymous
8th October 2018
Monday 3:34 pm
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It's week-end for me and it's been a day to live so far even though nothing special really happened. I don't care; the sole fact that it's a day off feels like a rock off my chest. My previous three workdays were total and utter pile of steaming shite. Glad they're behind now.

I can't shake the feeling that nearly every shift has been SNAFU for about three to four months in a row.
>> No. 421150 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 9:11 pm
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>>421125

I used to want to join them when I was a young 'un. They're sort of like a very direct action Greenpeace.

Now that I think about it, it's a bit disturbing that not only I'd be happy to go out firing rocket propelled grenades at a Japanese whaling fleet, but that I've felt that way every since I was a kid.

I've obviously never had anything to live for that felt more exciting than blowing up whaling boats in the Antarctic.
>> No. 421154 Anonymous
10th October 2018
Wednesday 10:48 pm
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>>421150
Actual RPGs? You having a laugh? What kind of warheads?
>> No. 421156 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 3:26 am
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>>421154

Mate this is a fantasy I had when I was thirteen, I was hardly poring over Jane's figuring out exactly what kind of firepower I could purchase from Africa in order to sink Japanese fucking ships in what would probably be a literal war crime / crime against humanity.

I assumed big men with beards and endless supples of Fishermen's Friends would deal with all that and all I'd have to do would be to load myself up with explosives and nut the smeggers to oblivion.

I was a simple lad, albeit one with latent psychological issues.
>> No. 421157 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 6:34 am
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>>421150>>421156
FUCK YOU WHALE.
>> No. 421159 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 2:33 pm
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>>421157

Can you really blame them for hating them?
>> No. 421160 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 6:15 pm
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I'm going to Alton Towers for the weekend. Any decent pubs/restaurants in Crewe?
>> No. 421161 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 6:20 pm
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I'm back at uni and it's so full of attractive girls it's really distracting. I just want to bury my face in their arses. I can't focus on lectures because I'm just constantly fantasising about women.
>> No. 421162 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 6:32 pm
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>>421160

I changed trains at Crewe a few times on my way to Liverpool. In fact once I had to wait so long for my connecting train that I managed to get half pissed at a little bar/cafe place right there on the Platform. Talk about convenient.
>> No. 421163 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 6:58 pm
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>>421157
>> No. 421164 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 9:03 pm
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>>421162

I'm halfway convinced that Crewe is just an elaborate hoax. I've been through Crewe station on dozens of occasions, but I've never actually met anyone who has lived in Crewe. I think it's just a railway terminus pretending to be a town.
>> No. 421165 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 9:30 pm
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>>421164
I often wonder whether or not Cheltenham is real or just a front for GCHQ.
>> No. 421166 Anonymous
11th October 2018
Thursday 9:51 pm
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>>421164

Maybe Crewe is our version of the Bielefeld Conspiracy.

Go on, google it. You know you want to.
>> No. 421167 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 12:46 am
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I am from near Crewe and spent many an afternoon hanging about in the town centre as a teenager, I can confirm it's real. It's no Northwich, but it's definitely there.
>> No. 421168 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 12:52 am
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>>421166

I come to Britfa.gs for long and erudite posts about an area of knowledge nobody should really have that much concern for, not to google it myself and read the flavourless Wikipedia version. You have let me down tonight.
>> No. 421169 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 2:00 am
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>>421168
Sorry, lad. Crewe is that flavourless in real life
>> No. 421170 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 2:22 am
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>>421165

I know people who at least pretend to work at Microsoft's Cheltenham office, and others who have made trips to the doughnut. No one I know claims to have actually seen anything resembling a town.

Then again, when I went to Oxford all I saw was a ring road. The lads at the company I was visiting promised that the "real oxford" was on the other side of the river, but I didn't have time to check.

I also don't recall if Oxford had a bar right on the platform because I dropped two banging Es right as I left their offices and to be honest I was just trying to do my best to find the train station before I turned into a gurning idiot.


The plot thickens.
>> No. 421171 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 3:06 am
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>>421168
I'm not sure why you bother. These days we don't have much time for shedposting, what with all the Corbyn discussion, guilty woulds and constant cunt-offs about sexual assault.
>> No. 421172 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 7:49 am
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Fucking hell, lads. First I've got a sore throat, then the weather's gone to pot and now this. Next thing you know Crewe won't be real and...
>> No. 421173 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 10:32 am
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>>421172
I don't know if there's any more room for further heartbreak after Judge Rinder and his husband split up earlier this year.
>> No. 421179 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 5:50 pm
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Well lads, there is a town claiming to be Crewe approximately where you would expect it to be. However, it's basically just a great big industrial estate so I'm still suspicious.
>> No. 421180 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 6:07 pm
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>>421179
It's definitely real, a local takeaway got a mention on The Guardian Football Weekly. Why, I ordered a fisherman's breakfast from them just the other week.
>> No. 421181 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 6:53 pm
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>>421180
I don't think I'd ever get a fisherman's breakfast from a takeaway; you'd probably end up shitting out a lung.
>> No. 421182 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 7:23 pm
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>>421180

That could all be part of the plan of making people believe that Crewe exists.

A takeaway shop isn't that difficult to set up. Those who seek to perpetuate the Crewe conspiracy will certainly not stop at such a simple thing.
>> No. 421184 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 8:03 pm
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I've had vintage red leicester cheese for the first time today. Fuck me, it's delicious. I'd written off red leicester as a bit bland and nothingy, but I've been wrong all this time. It's making me wonder which other cheeses I'm missing out on from only trying supermarket/brand versions.
>> No. 421191 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 11:45 pm
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>>421184
Where did you get it?
>> No. 421192 Anonymous
12th October 2018
Friday 11:46 pm
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>>421191
The cheesemongers.
>> No. 421193 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 1:11 am
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>>421184
I reckon supermarket red Leicester is basically just mild cheddar with dye in it. Proper red lezza has a nutty quality to it.
>> No. 421194 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 7:31 am
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>>421193

>Proper red lezza has a nutty quality to it.

I find most lezzas a bit nutty.
>> No. 421202 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 8:04 pm
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No matter what I'm watching on YouTube at the minute it's always recommending Weezer & Weird Al's cover of Africa by Toto.
>> No. 421207 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 10:08 pm
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>>421202

Somehow lately I always get recommended age old videos by Lazy Game Reviews, Techmoan or the 8 bit guy.

They're all very good youtube channels, but why does youtube recommend videos by them that are five years old?

Speaking of Techmoan, if you don't know him, he does slightly more than mildly funny puppet sketches at the end of some of his videos.

See from about 12:25 -


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMu-BoECblE
>> No. 421208 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 10:29 pm
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>>421207
Five year old videos have the most views so obviously they're the best/most popular
>> No. 421209 Anonymous
13th October 2018
Saturday 10:38 pm
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My current favourite YouTuber is Paul Sellers. He does traditional woodworking with hand tools. His videos are quiet and gentle and oddly comforting, like a shed-based Bob Ross. I'd like to nominate him as the honorary granddad of .gs.


>> No. 421210 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 8:18 am
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The number of friends who've tried to kill themselves is getting close to a dozen. Some successfully, most not. Is this an abnormal amount?
>> No. 421211 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 10:06 am
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>>421210

I guess for one thing it depends how many friends you have and how old you are.

As far as I'm aware only my grandmother succeeded in drinking herself to death. But I've seen some spectacular failures, a cousin tried to blow his brains out and is now blind. I'd say around Half my friendship group suffers some form of depression and at one point or another circles the drain.
>> No. 421212 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 12:12 pm
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>>421210
In a healthy society, yes, that would be highly abnormal. Under neoliberalism, this is what we have to expect.

>But the individual in himself is not sufficient as an end for himself. He is too small a thing. Not only is he confined in space, he is also narrowly limited in time. So when we have no other objective than ourselves, we cannot escape from the feeling our efforts are finally destined to vanish into nothing, since that is where we must return. But we recoil from the idea of annihilation. In such a state, we should not have the strength to live, that is to say to act and struggle, since nothing is to remain of all the trouble that we take. In a word, the state of egoism is in contradiction with human nature and hence too precarious to endure.
Durkheim
>> No. 421213 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 1:12 pm
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>>421212
That doesn't sound like a political problem but one of pure over population. Like we've entered the behavioural sink.
>> No. 421214 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 1:17 pm
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>>421213
Oh look, it's the 'highlight "overpopulation" and offer no answers' bloke, how totally useless as ever.
>> No. 421215 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 1:37 pm
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>>421213

Neoliberalism is absolutely a valid target for criticism, in fact it's been shown repeatedly that the 'free market' philosophy or 'market fundamentalism' (as it's been called) has a causal relationship to worsening health indicators, and may extend to violent behaviours and other social problems: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953614008399

Though this is more correlative, fiscal austerity policies in Greece following the 2008 financial crisis coincided with a dramatic rise in suicides: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953614002433

Even globally, the idea of 'over population' is open to debate. I'd highly recommend looking up the work of Swedish doctor and statistician Hans Rosling on this:


>> No. 421216 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 1:44 pm
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>>421211
As I made that post I was wondering if gs was really the right place to ask what normal is.
>> No. 421217 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 2:03 pm
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I'm after a new mechanical keyboard and I've fallen down the nerd rabbit hole of agonising over which sort of switches I want.

I've only ever used blues, which are nice, but loud, and I honestly don't need a clicky key as I really don't mind hammering on the keyboard like a madman and bottoming the keys out anyway.

Anyway I'm thinking about the reds now, maybe even the silent ones, to lessen the chances of my girlfriend leaving me.

But I'm starting to suspect that the anorak hysteria around which keys are the best is akin to audiophiles and their speaker cables. Ultimately they're all going to feel and perform excellently, aren't they?

I might end up ordering one of those samplers.
>> No. 421218 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 2:06 pm
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>>421210

Statistically I believe the national average for suicide attempts is around one in nine, so unless you have a couple of hundred friends that does seem excessive.

I can think of maybe two of my 30-ish close friends who have attempted and two who succeeded.
>> No. 421220 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 2:25 pm
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>>421215
>Income inequality and health: A causal review

I think it is a false comparison to say Neoliberalism = Income inequality or to even label our society as Neoliberal because it isn't we have a very large state. Plenty of other systems will promote income inequality in the system.
look at these 2 lists.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_income_equality
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate#List_by_other_sources_and_years_(1985%E2%80%932017)
You would presume based on your assumption that a country with low inequality would have low suicide but that simply isn't true. Slovenia has the lowest income inequality of any country in the world, but has the 6th highest suicide rate. Hungary has the 2nd lowest income inequality and the 8th highest suicide. I’m not saying it doesn’t have an effect on suicide but there are other factors that are clearly more significant.

>The impact of fiscal austerity on suicide: On the empirics of a modern Greek tragedy
That has really nothing to do with neoliberalism and everything to do with a society being broke. Another system wouldn't allow them to conjure resources they don't have or not over borrow.
>The Overpopulation Myth
I'm familiar with Dr Hans Rosling, I haven't seen him ever properly explain that over population isn't a social problem before only that global population is stabilizing, I haven't watched that particular documentary I promise I will.
>> No. 421221 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 2:32 pm
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>>421217

Reds are definitely better for gaming, but they're less than ideal for typing. Mechanical switches actuate about halfway down the key stroke, so the tactile bump has a functional purpose - it lets you know that you've actually pressed the key. If you do hammer like a madman and bottom out hard, you totally negate the noise benefits of having no tactile bump.

If you want a quiet all-round keyboard, I'd recommend Gateron browns (they're smoother than MX browns) with o-rings. The o-rings make a big difference if you habitually bottom-out. Look for a keyboard with a thick aluminium backplate, because keyboards with plastic or pressed steel backplates tend to be more resonant and rattly.
>> No. 421223 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 3:20 pm
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>>421220

Your point about income inequality not directly meaning neoliberalism is well taken, but at the same time it can be shown pretty conclusively that neoliberal policy increases income inequality. The evidence for this is everywhere, but here's an example of the IMF, of all organisations, making this connection: https://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/fandd/2016/06/ostry.htm

That said, you have given me some pause for thought, I'll go into more below...

>or to even label our society as Neoliberal because it isn't we have a very large state

Here I totally agree with you, the United Kingdom has a massive state. The rhetoric about 'free markets' is only selectively applied. Where our government chooses to spend is a matter of policy -- it has provided massive subsidies to areas such as high-tech industry and simultaneously cut public services for decades. Particularly relevant to the point about suicide is cuts to mental health services: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-38852420

>You would presume based on your assumption that a country with low inequality would have low suicide but that simply isn't true.

This is a pretty interesting observation, but you're also right in pointing out that there are certainly other factors involved. I would be willing to bet, though, that better income equality probably mitigates suicide.

I will concede to you here that maybe income inequality isn't the best example of how neoliberalism specifically increases suicidality. A better way of arguing my point may be that neoliberal policy increases a large number of the factors definitely are known to result in increased suicidality: unemployment or precarious employment, social isolation, personal debt, and as already mentioned, cuts to public services.

Researchers like Ted Schrecker and Clare Bambra annoyingly don't have much in the way of their published research online, but they have an excellent book, Neoliberal Epidemics: How Politics Makes Us Sick that draws a far more convincing causal relationship than I've been able to here.

>That has really nothing to do with neoliberalism and everything to do with a society being broke.

Here I disagree again. Fiscal austerity is directly related to neoliberal policy -- not just in terms of how to handle an economic crisis when it hits, but also in being a direct cause of economic crises. Your explanation about Greece being 'another system that wouldn't allow them to conjure resources' seems a bit like handwaving, and I'd argue that the effect is very much observable in a wealthy country like the UK.
>> No. 421224 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 3:25 pm
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>>421216
I think it's been a while since anything odd or depraved has been posted to remind me what a bunch of robot moon ovens you are. If anyone starts a confession thread, we haven't had one in ages, then I'll immediately lower the tone by mentioning what I did to those toothbrushes again.
>> No. 421225 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 4:28 pm
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I'm sat on a train with those fancy window shutters. The sun's being a cunt. Except I can't do much about it because it's a reflection off two tables down across the aisle.
>> No. 421227 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 7:00 pm
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I've just had my arse stroked by an old-ish woman in Tesco Express.

I was bent forward looking at the reduced stuff and I felt something on my arse. I looked up and she apologised for knocking into me and she was holding her basket in a really funny way. It was definitely a hand that touched me rather than the basket and it was almost the entire way across my arse rather than accidentally bumping into something and immediately moving off.
>> No. 421228 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 7:16 pm
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>>421227

You should have winked and invited her back to your place, then had some tea and scones with her. You thought I was going to say "and then piss in her arse" didn't you? You sick fucks.
>> No. 421229 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 8:01 pm
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>>421228
>You thought I was going to say "and then piss in her arse" didn't you?
Well, no, because it goes without saying, doesn't it?
>> No. 421230 Anonymous
14th October 2018
Sunday 9:09 pm
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>>421221

>Reds are definitely better for gaming, but they're less than ideal for typing.

I've read this a lot, but my question is, is it still better for typing than a standard cheapo dome keyboard by miles, even on reds?

As it happens my research did lean me towards (MX) browns with o-rings. I'll look into Gateron, for sure.

This is all very exhausting. I'm convinced whatever it is I'll get used to it. If I can type on a Macbook Pro chiclet I can type on anything.
>> No. 421239 Anonymous
15th October 2018
Monday 12:11 pm
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>>421207
I got recommended something called buzzfeedblue once.
I would have ignored it and moved on if not that fit brunette lass they have.
I'd buzz her blue, aye.
>> No. 421246 Anonymous
15th October 2018
Monday 9:43 pm
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>>421239

Their true crime stuff is quite entertaining.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVAvUrL_VQiPeLg4qvBFnsdW4KBESD3Xt

It does provoke the recommendations algorithm to recommend you a load of other Buzzfeed shite though.
>> No. 421392 Anonymous
26th October 2018
Friday 5:19 pm
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There's a woman at work and she would be so shaggable if she put some effort in.

She wears frumpy clothes and her hair is always a bit greasy and tied in a huge scrunchy that makes her look a bit council, but you can see it in her face that if she tidied herself up and took care of herself she would be eminently shaggable.
>> No. 421393 Anonymous
26th October 2018
Friday 6:10 pm
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Well I've bought an old turntable, some mediocre bookshelf speakers.
I bought a "spares or repairs" pioneer amp off ebay to have a go at fixing it, took the cover off, and while it does power up and seems okay, it's apparently been sitting in a puddle for a while and it's got a bit of a rust problem.
So I've set that on the "long term project" shelf, and now I've got an excuse to buy one of those shitty £20 oscilloscopes off Banggood, and other miscellaneous electronics chaff.
And I've just ordered an old Marantz amp in working condition to use now.

While I'm waiting for that to be delivered I've ordered some audiophile grade screws for the headshell cartridge (not really, they were a few quid, but the self-tapping screws that are on it now are a bodge and need to come out), but I forgot to print out a protractor while I was at work today.

(I'm probably still going to be listening to music through my PC 99% of the time, but it keeps me occupied.)
>> No. 421412 Anonymous
27th October 2018
Saturday 4:18 pm
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I've tried Tin-eye, and Google Image Search, but I can't for the life of me find the version of this where it's been made into a meme with text along the lines of "when you've just dropped a massive pinger in the rave and your friends are calming you down" and a speech bubble from Theresa May saying "just have some water mate" that I swear I saw doing the rounds last year and it is pissing right over my weekend cornflakes.
>> No. 421415 Anonymous
27th October 2018
Saturday 4:29 pm
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>>421412
Isn't it a photo of the picture in a newspaper that's been drawn on?
>> No. 421421 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 7:35 am
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>>421412
If you remember all the text, couldn't you just recreate it yourself?
>> No. 421422 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 11:48 am
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>>421415
Nah, not from what I remember. Or did you see someone do that with a newspaper print?

>>421421
There's other bits I can't, and my description is wordier and far less pithy than the original. I'm not going to explain autistic fixation, mate, I assumed the other two of you on .gs would understand.
>> No. 421423 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 12:15 pm
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>>421422
>I assumed the other two of you on .gs would understand.

I'm too autistic to muster the required empathy.
>> No. 421424 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 10:54 pm
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"Gordon Ramsay on Cocaine" doesn't quite deliver on the initial mental image.
>> No. 421425 Anonymous
28th October 2018
Sunday 11:55 pm
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The shitty chair in my shitty cheap student accommodation proved its shittiness by breaking. The landlords are fucking useless so my chance of getting another from them is close to nil; for the moment I've got two spanners acting as support bars but it's looking like I'll have to "rescue" one of the many office chairs that get thrown out from various buildings around me.
>> No. 421426 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 7:14 am
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>>421425
Even if you get a new one yourself, make sure that you still put in a written complaint to your landlord. If you don't bother then they're certain to charge you for breaking it when you leave.
>> No. 421427 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 8:54 am
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>>421424

It really annoyed me, him pretending to be shocked that chefs do coke all the time. Disingenuous fucker.
>> No. 421444 Anonymous
29th October 2018
Monday 11:04 pm
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>>421427

And that doesn't even address the fact that you'd be forgiven for thinking that his own kind of personality can only be explained by copious cocaine consumption.
>> No. 421615 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 9:36 pm
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Vintage hifi wanker lad here.
My newish amp finally arrived, and it's pretty good. Volume knob is a tiny bit scratchy, and the balance knob is only working on the left channel, and given that I'm in a semi-detached I can't really turn it up loud enough to be at its best.
I've listened to the grand total of 2 modern records I've got, and the shitty old classical records I bought from oxfam are shitty and old and who wants to listen to classical anyway. So now I'm back on the PC again, drunk on a pint of beer, sweeping my existential dread, my loneliness and my even bigger fear of not being lonely under the carpet for a little while longer.

People I work with have often told me I'm the most chilled person they've ever known, and I think some suspect I'm a stoner which is slightly funny because I've never even touched weed once. Truth is I think revealing my crippling anxiety is more terrifying than the anxiety itself which is an intriguing situation to be in.
Sometimes I just want to be angry with something, with anything, but the instant I ever feel I could lash out, suddenly I just feel silly and it goes.

I wish I was a cat, do cats have inner turmoil or are they actually chill? They can scratch peoples faces off and still be loved.
>> No. 421616 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 10:00 pm
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>>421615
Well that post took a neck snapping tone change.

For the mechanical problems, spray some contact cleaner into the potentiometers and give them a jiggle. Wait a few minutes for them to fully dry and you should be golden. For the personal problems,
might I suggest /emo/, lad?
>> No. 421617 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 10:06 pm
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>>421615
>Truth is I think revealing my crippling anxiety is more terrifying than the anxiety itself which is an intriguing situation to be in.

I concur.
>> No. 421618 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 10:12 pm
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>>421616
>For the mechanical problems, spray some contact cleaner into the potentiometers and give them a jiggle. Wait a few minutes for them to fully dry and you should be golden.
That's the plan, I think I bought a couple of cans before Maplin went under, but my garage needs a lot of organising first.

>For the personal problems, might I suggest /emo/, lad?
I'm fine, mostly, at the moment. I've got a good sense of direction.
When I make an /emo/ thread, it's going to be about A) how do I split up with my long distance boyfriend without the guilt breaking me, B) how the actual fuck am I going to find a woman who wont be freaked out by my collection of silicone sculptures. I'm not throwing them away, they cost too much.
>> No. 421619 Anonymous
2nd November 2018
Friday 11:00 pm
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>>421618

>how the actual fuck am I going to find a woman who wont be freaked out by my collection of silicone sculptures

Fetlife or Ferzu would be a decent start
>> No. 421621 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 2:00 am
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I am thinking of attending the winter solstice celebrations at Stonehenge next month.

Being somewhere between agnostic and atheist, the winter solstice to me has always been an event of far greater significance than the alleged birth of Christ three days later. The winter solstice to me symbolises the end of the winter darkness and the rising sun of soon to come spring. Seriously, what could be a greater cause for celebration than the fact that winter has seen its height and that the days are getting longer again.

Having said that I don't really believe in a god, I can kind of see the point of ancient cultures that worshipped the sun as their god. The sun to them must have felt much more tangible and much more real than the abstract idea of a god in heaven who never actually shows himself, and whose presence must be inferred from vague equivocal signs, if any. The Sun quite verifiably gives light and warmth and pretty much is the origin of all life itself on Earth. It would only follow that you would see it as your creator and as the supreme deity that rules over you.
>> No. 421622 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 2:08 am
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>>421621
> the end of the winter darkness and the rising sun of soon to come spring.

While the days will get longer, winter hasn't been at its worst, there's always a lag behind the solstice. The worst winter month by temperature is January, and the worst winter weather usually happens around that time, too. So, for me, the end of that is the equinox.
>> No. 421623 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 2:30 am
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>>421622

Fair point, but the days ever so slightly getting longer from early January really gives you something to look forward to.
>> No. 421624 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 8:26 am
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>>421619
>Fetlife or Ferzu would be a decent start

I made a diagram to highlight the issue here.

(Seriously, thanks for the advice, mental is fine.)
>> No. 421625 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 9:07 am
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>>421624

If a key relationship criteria is "will tolerate my intimidatingly huge collection of intimidatingly huge arse dildos", you're going to have to accept a certain level of mental slaggishness. I think you're just aiming for a sweet spot between "refreshingly dirty" and "will definitely cut your dick off".
>> No. 421626 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:35 am
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>>421625
> intimidatingly huge arse dildos

Why? Just why?


> aiming for a sweet spot between "refreshingly dirty" and "will definitely cut your dick off".

Pic related
>> No. 421627 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:44 am
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>>421626
Please don't post such awful, trite, boring memes, if have to post any at all.

>>421624
>"Normie"

Right, you're really pissing me off now.
>> No. 421628 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:46 am
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>>421626

>Why? Just why?

Because god gave you a prostate gland.
>> No. 421629 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:51 am
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>>421628

God gave me nostrils that doesn't mean I should shove crayons up them.
>> No. 421630 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:55 am
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>>421629

To think. There are men out there who go their entire life without knowing the pleasure of prostate pressure. What's the matter, afraid you'll catch the gay?
>> No. 421631 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 10:58 am
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>>421629
You might if it made you cum your pants though. In fact you definitey would, as would every bloke on the planet, and we'd be forced to start wearing nose clips as a matter of public decency.
>> No. 421632 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 11:12 am
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>>421627
>Right, you're really pissing me off now.

Sorry, I don't make great decisions at that time of the morning. Consider that word struck from my vocabulary.
>> No. 421633 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 12:01 pm
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>>421631

Because all blokes are sex-craved lunatics who enjoy spaffing themselves in public, right?
>> No. 421634 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 12:03 pm
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>>421633
If there was a button up their nose that made them cum, yes, they would be.
>> No. 421635 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 12:27 pm
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>>421621>>421622
For some reason I always could relate to the Sol Invictus thing.
But then, I'm also the kind of person who, when going to sleep and accidentally seen the moon in the sky through the window, could spend about half an hour just standing there and staring at it.
It's something almost medidative to me, and I could never be arsed to meditate properly.
>>421624
The mental-prudes quarter is empty, why is that?
>> No. 421636 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 12:38 pm
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>>421635
>The mental-prudes quarter is empty, why is that?
I dunno. Maybe they're all on Twitter?
>> No. 421637 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 12:38 pm
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>>421635

I can only assume the lad who made it simply doesn't know of that kind of site.

Christian dating maybe?
>> No. 421638 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:05 pm
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>>421636
No idea lad. I've never visited Twitter.
>>421637
That might be, and that only makes it more interesting.
>> No. 421639 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:09 pm
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>>421637
I thought that was what Eharmony was.
>> No. 421640 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:23 pm
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>mental-prudes
>> No. 421641 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:25 pm
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>>421640

https://www.christianconnection.com/
>> No. 421643 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:36 pm
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I've agreed to go out with some previous work mates.
I don't really drink and the thought of going out annoys me since I know I won't enjoy it but I've brushed them off enough times in the past that I feel I have to go out tonight.
>> No. 421644 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:47 pm
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>>421643

>I don't really drink and the thought of going out annoys me since I know I won't enjoy it

Maybe this is your chance to leave your shut in days behind you.
>> No. 421645 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 1:58 pm
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>>421644
I like my shut in days, I get to spend my time how I want to.
I left my drinking days when I stopped being a youth.
>> No. 421646 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 2:18 pm
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>>421645
Are you me?
>> No. 421647 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 3:21 pm
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>>421645

>I like my shut in days, I get to spend my time how I want to.

This is why .gs is in the state it's in.
>> No. 421648 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 3:22 pm
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Jo Brand wrote a film, "The More You Ignore Me" and it's pretty good.
>> No. 421656 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 5:27 pm
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>>421648
Another long wait for the DVD release.

Fuck Cinemas
>> No. 421657 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 5:30 pm
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What the fuck has Sheridan Smith done to her face?


>> No. 421659 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 5:40 pm
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>>421656
You can stream it already.
>> No. 421662 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 6:14 pm
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>>421657

She has come a long way from being one of my favourite chav girl wank fantasies during the days of Two Pints.

I am intrigued by the tattoo on her left hand.
>> No. 421671 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 7:13 pm
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I am still in bed.
>> No. 421672 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 7:24 pm
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I am worryingly infatuated with Amelia off of Chicken Shop Date. That disgusted look of hers gives me butterflies.


>> No. 421686 Anonymous
3rd November 2018
Saturday 11:32 pm
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>>421662
The irony there is that she is posh as fuck.
>> No. 421687 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 1:01 am
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>>421657
>>421662
Jesus H Chipshops, I saw a picture of her on Yahoo! news the other day (only after signing out of mail, would never go there otherwise), and didn't recognise her, and didn't know her name other than "bint off two pints".
>> No. 421688 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 1:26 am
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>>421687

Omg stop Brexit
>> No. 421698 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 12:05 pm
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>>421687

>I saw a picture of her on Yahoo! news the other day (only after signing out of mail

You've already tightened the noose around your neck by admitting to using yahoo mail in the first place.
>> No. 421705 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 6:12 pm
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Sitting here at my parents' house attempting to fix quite persistent Windows 7 issues on their computer. I shut the computer down normally about an hour ago and I remember seeing on the screen that it said it was executing a Windows update before powering itself off.

And now an hour later, the fucking thing won't boot and the system restore tools off the Windows DVD are proving useless as well, because none of the recent system restore points seem to work.

Thanks a lot Microsoft, because naturally my parents are blaming me now because I was the last one to use the computer. It's no use telling them that Windows is just being a cunt as always.
>> No. 421706 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 6:41 pm
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>>421705
Never had a problem with it myself.
>> No. 421707 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 7:11 pm
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> restore tools off the Windows DVD are proving useless as well, because none of the recent system restore points seem to work

No, lad. Boot up using the rescue disk then go into patch management and remove / revert all the patches that were installed last time windows did an update.

Googling something like "revert / remove patch tuesday patches using rescue disk" or something like that should help, I hope.
>> No. 421711 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:09 pm
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I got another sextortion e-mail today. The piss poor English in the e-mail is once again really somewhat entertaining.

>A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a small amount of money to unlock.
>But I looked at the sites that you regularly visit, and came to the big delight of your favorite resources.
>I'm talking about sites for adults.

>I want to say - you are a big pervert. You have unbridled fantasy!

>After that, an idea came to my mind.
>I made a screenshot of the intimate website where you have fun (you know what it is about, right?).
>After that, I took off your joys (using the camera of your device). It turned out beautifully, do not hesitate.


No!! Not my joys!!
>> No. 421715 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:29 pm
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>>421711
Who the hell has the time or interest to check their spam folder on a daily basis? Are you Yahoo! Mail lad?
>> No. 421716 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:58 pm
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>>421715

I occasionally check my spam folder before deleting its contents. You never know if an important e-mail got caught in it because somebody was being inept as fuck at writing a proper e-mail to you.
>> No. 421717 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 12:01 am
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>>421715
No that wasn't me.
>> No. 421720 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 12:54 am
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>>421711

The economy is getting tough out there in europe, I got this one from a Spanish Lad (I can tell from the vocab):

>He‌y the‌re‌
>I a‌m the‌ ha‌cke‌r who‌ bro‌ke‌ yo‌u‌r e‌ma‌i‌l a‌nd de‌vi‌ce‌ a‌ se‌ve‌ra‌l mo‌nths a‌go‌.
> Yo‌u‌ e‌nte‌re‌d yo‌u‌r pa‌sswo‌rd o‌n o‌ne‌ o‌f the‌ we‌b si‌te‌s yo‌u‌ vi‌si‌te‌d, a‌nd I i‌nte‌rce‌pte‌d i‌t.
>Thi‌s i‌s the‌ se‌cu‌ri‌ty pa‌sswo‌rd o‌f <my email> u‌po‌n mo‌me‌nt o‌f ha‌ck: <*********> <--- a blank-o password I use on sites where I don't care if my account is compromised.

> No‌ do‌u‌bt yo‌u‌ ca‌n wi‌ll cha‌nge‌ i‌t, o‌r e‌ve‌n a‌lre‌a‌dy cha‌nge‌d i‌t.
> The‌n a‌ga‌i‌n i‌t wi‌ll no‌t re‌a‌lly ma‌ke‌ a‌ di‌ffe‌re‌nce‌, my pe‌rso‌na‌l ma‌lwa‌re‌ u‌pda‌te‌d i‌t e‌ve‌ry ti‌me‌.

>Do‌ no‌t co‌nsi‌de‌r to‌ co‌nta‌ct me‌ pe‌rso‌na‌lly o‌r e‌ve‌n fi‌nd me‌, i‌t i‌s i‌mpo‌ssi‌ble‌, si‌nce‌ I se‌nt yo‌u‌ ma‌i‌l fro‌m yo‌u‌r e‌ma‌i‌l a‌cco‌u‌nt o‌nly.
> Throu‌gh yo‌u‌r e‌ma‌i‌l a‌ddre‌ss, I u‌plo‌a‌de‌d ma‌lwa‌re‌ co‌de‌ to‌ yo‌u‌r Ope‌ra‌ti‌o‌n Syste‌m.

> I sa‌ve‌d a‌ll o‌f yo‌u‌r co‌nta‌cts to‌ge‌the‌r wi‌th fri‌e‌nds, co‌lle‌a‌gu‌e‌s, re‌la‌ti‌ve‌s plu‌s a‌ co‌mpre‌he‌nsi‌ve‌ hi‌sto‌ ;ry o‌f vi‌si‌ts to‌ the‌ Onli‌ne‌ re‌so‌u‌rce‌s. As we‌ll I i‌nsta‌lle‌d a‌ Ma‌lwa‌re‌ o‌n yo‌u‌r syste‌m.

> Yo‌u‌ wi‌ll no‌t be‌ my o‌nly pre‌y, I typi‌ca‌lly lo‌ck pe‌rso‌na‌l co‌mpu‌te‌rs a‌nd a‌sk fo‌r a‌ ra‌nso‌m.

They're getting more and more common; he then started on about "sites calientes" and wanted 900 snaps in BTC otherwise he'd email all my "piquant" data to all of my contacts.

It's actually a bit of a laugh if you watch these wallets and see how many people pour money into them. There's one born every minute, I guess.
>> No. 421727 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:12 am
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>>421720

>The economy is getting tough out there in europe, I got this one from a Spanish Lad (I can tell from the vocab):

My two sextortion e-mails came first from Poland and then last night from France, going by the IPv4 addresses in the e-mail source codes. Makes you wonder if these scams are all perpetrated by the same people who just hijack and use different devices, or if it's a trend that has seen many copycats.

As scams go, this is one of the morally lowest ways of nicking money off people.
>> No. 421732 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 3:36 pm
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>>421727

Oh they're definitely using "hacked email accounts and probably a vpn or tor to connect to them.

Even if it started with one person, once other people see it (and I've been getting these emails since last year, I think) the more it snowballs and pretty soon you've got dozens of different documents apparently bounced through google translate and back.

If blockchain.info is still a thing you can check the money coming into a wallet as people fall for the scam.
>> No. 421733 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 3:44 pm
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>>421727
>As scams go, this is one of the morally lowest ways of nicking money off people.
It's low-effort, low-risk, and high-reward. If you were setting out to scam people, and therefore already have low moral standards, why wouldn't you do it?
>> No. 421735 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 5:11 pm
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>>421733

Maybe I just wouldn't be a good scammer then.
>> No. 421738 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 5:31 pm
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>>421735

A complete lack of scruples is a fairly important requirement if you want to be a con man. Or an estate agent.
>> No. 421744 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:27 pm
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>>421738

It probably helps to fit the clinical description of a psychopath.

Also, most people are simply suckers for a good lie. And many will believe whatever they want to believe, they will throw all caution to the wind, and they will fall even for the oldest scams over and over again. Just read this here:

http://theconversation.com/why-nigerian-prince-scams-continue-to-dupe-us-98232

>They wrote back and forth, starting chatting on the phone, and a relationship blossomed. Her new love interest had a son who was studying at a university in England, and the man said that he was looking to retire to Sweden. They made arrangements for a trip to meet in person there. However, before heading to Europe, Johnny needed to take a side trip to Nigeria for a job interview.

>That’s when things took a turn.

>Maria received a desperate call from Johnny. He and his son had been mugged, the son had been shot in the head, and they were in a Lagos hospital without any money or identification.

>They desperately needed funds transferred into his British bank account to pay for medical expenses and a lawyer, and Maria eagerly obliged.

>Several thousand euros later, she realized that she had been had.
>> No. 421745 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:32 pm
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>>421744
As someone who often refuses to press the button at a zebra crossing because it will slow motorists down, just knowing psychopaths exist (and are probably running the world) fills me with horrible despair.
>> No. 421746 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:40 pm
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>>421745
Zebra crossings have buttons now?
>> No. 421747 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:43 pm
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>>421745

I sometimes press the button just to spite motorists.
>> No. 421749 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:49 pm
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>>421746
I deliberately put zebra instead of pelican because I knew it would annoy pedantic cunts like you.
>> No. 421751 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 10:01 pm
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>>421749
And you said you're not a psychopath.
>> No. 421752 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 10:02 pm
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>>421749
Weird flex but ok.
>> No. 421754 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 10:28 pm
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>>421747

>I sometimes press the button just to spite motorists.

You... psychopath!!
>> No. 421755 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 10:31 pm
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As a child, the police would always warn us every autumn to avoid the psychopath in the park. Something about the leaves making them particularly slippery.
>> No. 421766 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 11:28 pm
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>>421755

Hm. All they told us was just to beware of the paedos.
>> No. 421767 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 12:06 am
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>>421755

I thought mentalbreakdown lad was back for a second, then I realised what you'd done there. Bravo.
>> No. 421783 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 6:37 pm
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>>421767
Don't worry, I'm still here, just lurking until Friday comes and I can have another half pint of beer and breakdown again.
>> No. 421784 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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>>421783

How many mentalbreakdown lads do we have here?
>> No. 421786 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 6:56 pm
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>>421784
I think it's three?
>> No. 421788 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 7:05 pm
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>>421786
Yes, all three.
>> No. 421793 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 9:23 pm
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So... is it the weekend again yet?
>> No. 421798 Anonymous
6th November 2018
Tuesday 10:27 pm
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>>421793
It always feels like the weekend when you're with your Britfa.gs Buddies™!
>> No. 421801 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 1:42 am
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>>421798

And there I was thinking was the 800mg of seroquel I'm on per day. Silly me.
>> No. 421881 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 6:53 pm
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Happy Friday .gs
>> No. 421882 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 6:59 pm
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>>421881


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0
>> No. 421883 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 7:18 pm
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>>421882
I take it back.
>> No. 421884 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 7:27 pm
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>>421882


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0LeL9BUPtA
>> No. 421885 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:03 pm
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>>421884
>Everyday is like Sunday

Bloody Dolescum.
>> No. 421886 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:17 pm
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>>421881
AND TO YOU LAD
>> No. 421887 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:25 pm
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>>421886
It's fucking windy and it's just blown some of my electricity away. I'm not sure if my old hard drive is going to cope with many more powercuts.
>> No. 421888 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 8:37 pm
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>>421885
He was looking for a job and even found one, but heaven knows it made him miserable.
>> No. 421889 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 9:05 pm
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>>421887

I invested in a UPS with 30 minutes go go gadget juice. Basically gives me enough time to shut down gracefully. Cost the best part of 200 snaps though, so it's not for everyone. I'm just sick and tired of replacing hard drives in my desktop. They're not fucking cheap, and the data on them is often a pain in the arse to replace.
>> No. 421890 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 9:08 pm
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>>421885

Never thought of this as a song about unemployment.

Always thought he was just being his usual self loathing cunt and celebrating the bitter sweetness of being a socially awkward misfit kind of exactly like .gs.

And maybe something about armageddon in Southend.


All that said, I think this year's single "Spent The Day In Bed" by him was the best thing he has recorded in well over 20 years.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rmAi9XmlIo
>> No. 421893 Anonymous
9th November 2018
Friday 9:32 pm
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>>421887
That's just happened in my village and knocked out the half of it that I don't live in. Might pop round to see if anyone needs some candles.
>> No. 421948 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 4:33 pm
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(one of the) mental breakdown lads here.

Thanks to the advice of some folk in this thread, I've somehow landed a date with a person describing their gender basically as "trans/both".

I love you bastards.
>> No. 421954 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 6:50 pm
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>>421948

Get in there lad. I wish you and your massive dildo collection all the best.
>> No. 421958 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 9:08 pm
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I'm finally watching the last Hobbit film. Fuck me, what a mess.
>> No. 421961 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 10:57 pm
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>>421958
It's so bloody boring, isn't it? I'm watching They Shall Not Grow Old right now. Heartbreaking stuff.
>> No. 421962 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 11:23 pm
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Spent all day having a proper tidy up and beginning to fix up my old iON turntable. There's a persistent 50Hz hum, which today I found out caused by the transformer. For now, I've used two silicone earphone covers as makeshift o-rings to reduce vibration caused by it.

By the look of it, everything works from an 18V DC after rectification. I plan on getting an 18V DC plug and jack off eBay and soldering the supply wires onto the rectifier output, and then tearing out the current AC -> cleanup -> transform -> rectify setup.

I've lubricated the cue mechanism, as it was getting stuck below the tone arm and not actually lifting it up, and other times would get stuck on the crusty old grease and then launch the tonearm up.

Next thing is to get the power supply sorted, and then probably add a ground wire leading out so I can connect it to my amp. Then I'll drill two holes leading down to the speed adjustment pots so I don't have to tear the thing apart to set the speed - that, or put two twist pots on the side somewhere.

Then I'll put a decent cartridge on there, the GrooveTool on there is still on the 10-year-old original stylus, and any replacements I've found online have been of really poor quality. I'm thinking an OM-5E; I borrowed a m8's (thank fuck for P-mount) and it sounded so much better.

I've been hunting around eBay for a decent direct-drive Technics or something for a while but now is really not the time, what with all the hype, so I might as well make this one the best it can be.
>> No. 421963 Anonymous
11th November 2018
Sunday 11:30 pm
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>>421962
>decent direct-drive Technics

They're silly money, as everyone thinks they want to be a superstar DJ.
>> No. 421964 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 4:19 am
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>>421963

They're silly money because they're aimed at the actual superstar DJs who use them, or more accurately, used to. There's also the unfortunate fact that analogue musical gear tends to never really depreciate, despite it being a lot less relevant these days.

I'm not entirely sure if it's even possible to use vinyl, or digivinyl like serrato, in even a moderate club setting, let alone a big festival stage. Even my local club has a Funktion one soundsystem that is far too powerful to use something so vibration sensitive. I've played there before and it shook one of my hard drives to death.

The future is pad grids, not only are they cheap, vibration proof, and visually interesting, once they're plugged into Ableton Live or your weird homebrew Max patch, as intended, your DJ set is suddenly more of a composition you can work on, while still retaining freedom to improvise.

I've no idea who this woman is but it illustrates my point quite well:


>> No. 421965 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 4:21 am
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I'll likely be accused of engineering a cunt off because of this, but I've been thinking long and hard and have come to the decision that Lebkuchen is much better than Stollen.
>> No. 421966 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 5:08 am
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>>421964

>I'm not entirely sure if it's even possible to use vinyl, or digivinyl like serrato, in even a moderate club setting

Course it is mate. Club culture is a lot older than CDJs and Traktor. You put the decks on concrete blocks, you put the concrete blocks on halved squash balls, job's a good'un. As long as you're sensible about your monitor levels, you won't get feedback or skipping. Valve Sound System always played out on vinyl and they were brutally loud.


>> No. 421967 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 5:27 am
421967 spacer
>>421966

Sure, but if you're on the same bill as a couple of other more modern acts, then the very best you can hope for is making everyone on crew hate you.
>> No. 421973 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 12:58 pm
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>>421964

As an analogue musician of the instrument playing variety but who also dabbles in electronic production, could you explain a bit of what those funny looking Lights Out toys enable you to actually do?

I feel like they definitely push a DJ's set into the realms of actual performance rather than just playing a mix off your laptop to impress a bunch of plebs who don't know better. But I'm still not sure entirely how.

I've seen youtube videos where producers make it look really fancy pushing the buttons and the lights all flash but I've no idea if it's actually impressive or just something redundant they're doing to look flash.
>> No. 421975 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 1:32 pm
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>>421965
I would agree with this.
>> No. 421976 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 2:27 pm
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>>421973

The first caveat is that ultimately, they're just MIDI controllers, the pads are just buttons that you can program to do absolutely anything, so it's impossible to boil it down exactly, but the most common use case is as a way to trigger clips in Ableton Live, and typically these controllers are designed primarily with that in mind.

If you're not familiar with Live, the thing that sets it apart from other DAWs is 'session view' which allows you to assemble a grid of samples, loops, midi tracks, effect automation, you name it, into little clips, and trigger them individually, much like an old school sequencer/sampler. I'm sure you can imagine the possibilities of that alone, then you add in one of these grid controllers and suddenly you have a physical way to trigger and control all those little clips.

This is a random video I found that I think makes a pretty intuitive example of how it works in it's most basic form :



A DJ set in Ableton could look like anything from literally just full songs stored in clips that you can crossfade between, to cut up phrases and parts of the songs in your set, to entire deconstructions and midi additions, like playing an interactive version of a traditional producer remix. And you can do all of that, at the same time. The controller just makes it feasible to control in real time, though much like finger drumming, they've become an outright skill in themselves.

This is a fantastic performance on the first model of Launchpad, before they had multiple colours and shite. It should give a pretty good idea to a musician or anyone else who can pick out the different phrases he's triggering:


>> No. 421977 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 2:35 pm
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>>421973

>I've seen youtube videos where producers make it look really fancy pushing the buttons and the lights all flash but I've no idea if it's actually impressive or just something redundant they're doing to look flash.

While the flashing lights are typically functional visual feedback as seen in >>421976, the more modern devices do have the ability to do all sorts of flashy patterns to look good too. I've noticed there's a lot of performers who will program their own lightshows, so they like to make the pads do crazy reactive patterns while they trigger stuff. I feel like that would get very confusing, personally, but I suppose electronic musicians have been dabbling in visuals for decades, so I'm not going to be too bah humbug about it.
>> No. 421978 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 2:36 pm
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>>421975

Thirded. Stollen is just a slightly shit bara brith IMO.
>> No. 421984 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 6:52 pm
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Speaking of all this, I've had an idea for a "new" way of DJing: .MOD files. There is software released in the past couple of years available for the old Amiga 500/1200s that allows you to DJ using .MOD files, but of course these are limited by their relatively short sample length and 26KHz sample rate.

I've looked around and I haven't found any modern equipment to do the same thing, but think of the possibility - each file essentially being a container for 4 WAV/MP3/whatevers, with as much metadata as you want.

The player I imagine to be like the picture, it would allow a whole new world of mixing.
>> No. 421985 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 7:36 pm
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Lebkuchen > stollen > brandy butter mince pies
>> No. 421986 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 7:54 pm
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>>421985

Those Germans certainly know how to celebrate Christmas.
>> No. 421988 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 10:29 pm
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>>421986

I was able to sample some Dresden Stollen on a business trip to Germany a few years ago. If I remember correctly, Dresden is where Stollen first originated, and Dresden Stollen may only be produced by certain members of the local Dresden bakers guild. We spent an afternoon at Emile Reimann's bakery just across from Dresden's famous rebuilt Frauenkirche church, and their stollen was amazingly delicious. They told us they also mass produce it for supermarkets in Germany. It is slightly more coarse and a bit less sweet than the stuff that Lidl have in the UK, but with loads nore flavour. If you ever happen to go to Dresden around Christmas time, it's definitely something you should try.
>> No. 421990 Anonymous
12th November 2018
Monday 10:51 pm
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>>421984

Traktor Stems, m8. It's the flagship feature of the world's most popular DJ software.




>> No. 421992 Anonymous
13th November 2018
Tuesday 12:54 am
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>>421990
I guess my Google-fu isn't as good as I thought it was. Traktor is shite, anyway.
>> No. 422032 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:01 pm
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FRIDAY NIGHT BRITFA.GS

WAHEYYYYYYYYYYYY

LADS LADS LADS
>> No. 422033 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:03 pm
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>>422032
I wish I'd never been born.
>> No. 422034 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:04 pm
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>>422033

You can still right that wrong.
>> No. 422035 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 7:06 pm
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>>422033
Cheer up, lad. Pudsey's on telly tonight.
>> No. 422036 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 8:03 pm
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>>422032
A long estranged mate who was always terrible with money has only gone and cancelled his plans to come over because he has no money. Can't say I'm shocked, but as it was planned for a while I thought things might be different as it's my best bud's birthday tomorrow and having him there would have been a nice surprise. Oh well.
>> No. 422037 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 8:07 pm
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HOORAY FOR FRIDAY
>> No. 422038 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 8:10 pm
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Things are somewhat ok
>> No. 422039 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 8:53 pm
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Anyone else heading into central London tomorrow?
>> No. 422040 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 9:17 pm
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>>422039
For what purpose?
>> No. 422041 Anonymous
16th November 2018
Friday 10:01 pm
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>>422040
Checking out the bridges.
>> No. 422042 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 12:53 am
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>>422041

Thinking of upgrading from canals to rivers?
>> No. 422043 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 10:01 am
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>>422041

Bring water wings.
>> No. 422044 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 11:30 am
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Amazon sent me a motorcycle lift instead of a set of dumbells and weights. I'm probably just going to flog it on eBay rather than complain seeing as it retails at about a tenner more than the weights would have.
>> No. 422045 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 12:06 pm
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>>422044
Remember that eBay take 10% of whatever you sell your thing for, and you probably aren't likely to get retail value for it. That'll probably wipe out that extra tenner.
>> No. 422046 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 12:25 pm
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>>422045
That did occur to me, but then I checked the tracking on my weights and it says they haven't even been delivered, so now I don't know what to make of it.
>> No. 422049 Anonymous
17th November 2018
Saturday 1:16 pm
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>>422044

I ordered one USB A to B cable when I was at uni, and Amazon sent me a box of 100. They didn't seem to notice so I started selling them on eBay, made about six hundred quid, cheers Jeff.
>> No. 422063 Anonymous
19th November 2018
Monday 9:52 am
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Haven't heard this track for a long time.
The little coffee shop just across the street from the place I live had it playing when I came in. Probably the reason why I spent a tad more time there and about one coffee above my usual morning dose.
The owner is a proper lad too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsJSwGc4lsA
>> No. 422236 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 6:13 pm
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>>421948 here again.

I missed last weeks update, but don't worry I didn't get raped and buried in the woods.

It was a guy, obviously, but nothings going to happen between us and now I've got a real life friend and it's not weird at all. Which is a good start I guess.
>> No. 422240 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 6:26 pm
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>>422236
Fill your boots, lad. God speed.
>> No. 422256 Anonymous
23rd November 2018
Friday 10:21 pm
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>>422236
>it's not weird at all.
Totally not weird at all, despite the flirting.
Urgh.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwyuM0PODuY

>>422240
Thanks lad.
>> No. 422272 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 2:27 pm
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Just downloaded GIMP 2.10 and playing around with it. I have to say I am impressed.

Previous versions used to be a pretty shit poor man's Photoshop, but 2.10 just really feels quite well thought out. From what I've read, it is based on a whole new engine, which among other things can do 24 bit colour depth per channel. Still no full CMYK support though from the looks of it. Conversion plugins seem to exist, but native CMYK support is one of the things where Photoshop undoubtedly still has the edge over GIMP.

But still, the new GIMP looks a million times more sleek and professional than its predecessors. If you are looking for a graphics suite but are a skint pauper don't want to spend any money, GIMP could be your friend.
>> No. 422275 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 3:02 pm
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>>422272
Just how big is current Photoshop distribution?
I still pretty much make do with the 7th or 8th - or maybe the first CS, don't recall exactly - version. Enough for my meagre needs.
I remember trying CS3 when it just came out and I wasn't impressed - it was a bit bloated and came with a lot of stuff that was of no use to me. That was many moons ago and I had a 80GB disk so free space wasting was an issue, yes.
>> No. 422278 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 3:36 pm
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>>422272

These days, I'd recommend Affinity Photo for any sort of serious use. It's cheap, it does the job and it isn't a total pain in the arse.

https://affinity.serif.com/en-gb/photo/desktop/
>> No. 422279 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 3:43 pm
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>>422275

>I still pretty much make do with the 7th or 8th


The newer Photoshop versions are really nothing that the layperson will ever need. They are jam packed with professional tools, but if all you want is just to tidy up some of your smartphone pictures, then Photoshop Elements is already plenty.

One problem with switching to GIMP is that while the general layout of the interface may be quite similar, the way you get to doing particular things can be vastly different. This is why PS users generally say they hate GIMP. Not only do menu items have entirely different names for the same thing and appear in completely different submenus, but the whole workflow can be completely unlike PS. And when I switched to GIMP from PS7, it was the same for me, to the point where I would shout and scream at my screen because GIMP was just being a willfully thick cunt as far as I was concerned. But once you've overcome that initial hurdle, then GIMP can be a very efficient and potent graphics tool. And then when you think that you get around 75-80% of Photoshop's functionality and it doesn't cost you a penny, then you begin to like GIMP more and more every day. The general consensus on the web now seems to be that the new GIMP 2.10 is a very noticeable step towards direct competition with Photoshop.
>> No. 422290 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 6:42 pm
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>>422279
Photoshop is a lot like Excel and Powerpoint - you only need to learn about 10 things that you do most often to get value out of them; there will always be hundreds of features that you won't go near.

Agree in spades with >>422275 that Photoshop stopped being useful after about v7 - back in the day I used to actually pay for it (!!) but soon stopped when I realised the upgrades weren't worth the cash.
>> No. 422293 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 8:53 pm
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>>422290

>Agree in spades with >>422275 that Photoshop stopped being useful after about v7 - back in the day I used to actually pay for it (!!) but soon stopped when I realised the upgrades weren't worth the cash.


I used to work for an ad agency, and they often gave us employees older software licences so we could work from home. So I got a PS 7 licence at some point and thus had an all legal PS on my computer at home. At the office, we were already working with the first Adobe CS versions.

When I stopped working for them, they asked for their PS7 CD back and the registration code. They didn't say anything about me deleting PS from my computer, so I kept using it for a number of years until my hard drive broke and I bought a new one.

Adobe now has much more convenient subscription price models than they used to have. Fifteen years ago, a proper full version of Photoshop 7 would cost you around £800 to £1,000. And when PS7 was phased out, the going price for a used PS7 full version was still up to around £250 on eBay.

Back then, Photoshop was really the undisputed leader of the pack in image editing software. But there are much more affordable alternatives nowadays, so in many lines of cretive work you don't actually have to have Photoshop. What still sets PS apart though is that if you really want to go pro, and if you're a professional photographer or somebody who otherwise has a job where they have to make photos look as stunning as possible, then Photoshop really still offers a kind of functionality that the others don't.
>> No. 422294 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 9:11 pm
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>>422293
That, and Lightroom. There's nothing quite as good as Lightroom for processing and editing CR2/RAW/DNG files. Darktable is quite simply wank in comparison.
>> No. 422295 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 10:12 pm
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I may have to go to Cardiff next week. It's not certain yet.

Can you lads recommend any good bars or cafés there? And what else can you do there during the week to have a bit of fun in the evening?
>> No. 422296 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 10:27 pm
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I've been needing to re-stain my fence and shed, but the past couple of weekends the weather has been shocking. I need at least 3 dry days to do it all, but I want to get it done before we get anymore frost, otherwise the wood is going to start splitting.
>> No. 422299 Anonymous
24th November 2018
Saturday 11:56 pm
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If I start a Patreon will you lads pay me to keep posting here?
>> No. 422301 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 2:36 am
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>>422299

Depends, are you any good? When's the last time someone awarded you the POTD/POTM/POTY?
>> No. 422302 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 2:47 am
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>>422296
You left it a bit l8 m8.
>> No. 422305 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 2:54 am
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>>422296
Just put the fence in the house for a few days.
>> No. 422317 Anonymous
25th November 2018
Sunday 2:15 pm
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>>422278
.gs are at it again, offering something I didn't know about. Thanks mate, I'll check that thing out.
>>422290
I wouldn't go as far as claiming that it stopped being useful. To me, yes - upgrading offered really diminishing returns. To someone more proficient getting CS might make sense.
Way back I found a CS5 re-packaged by some Russian pirate into a mini version - just a photo editor without all the useless [to me] things. It was about 80-130 MB big and a breeze to work with when they fixed the Text tool bugs. Then I migrated to Linux for a few years and had to make do with GIMP but that's another story.
I have to note that >>422279 is right about GIMP.
>> No. 422407 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 12:52 pm
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>>422317

>Way back I found a CS5 re-packaged by some Russian pirate into a mini version - just a photo editor without all the useless [to me] things.

I came by Macromedia Flash MX in a similar way, back in the day. I was a web developer with serious ambitions back then, circa 2004, and could not have afforded working with a pirated version. At the same time, a full version of Flash MX was really quite expensive, and I spotted a place on eBay that sold the update version of Flash MX at around 150 quid or so, together with a slightly dodgy full version of Flash 3. The Flash 3 CD was merely in a paper sleeve with a serial number on a sticker on the back of it, and the printing on the top of the disc looked a bit off, but I was assured that it was an original. Good enough for me.

It's kind of a shame that Flash got such a bad rep the last couple of years. For what it was, at its time, it was a pretty powerful tool to create dynamic web content, and it produced very small file sizes, which mattered in the early 2000s because not everybody had high speed Internet yet.

The real problem was that Flash's native script language ActionScript became more and more complex and allowed a whole host of ways of inserting malicious code into a web page. This was a design flaw that they maybe could have avoided by setting certain limits to what ActionScript could do. But they didn't, and Flash increasingly became a security risk. But the real death knell was probably when Apple decided to no longer support Flash on the iPhone and youtube switched to HTML5.
>> No. 422412 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 4:30 pm
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>>422407

The complexity of Flash was partly deliberate, because it stymied efforts to build compatible tools and players. Microsoft did something very similar with the old Office document formats prior to ISO/IEC 29500. It gave Adobe a dominant market position for interactive web thingies, but it also gave other companies a compelling interest in abandoning the format.
>> No. 422413 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 5:32 pm
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>>421962
Finally sorted it all. The infernal hum, finally banished.
>> No. 422414 Anonymous
27th November 2018
Tuesday 5:51 pm
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>>422412

> Microsoft did something very similar with the old Office document formats

"Old" Composite Document File Format documents work almost like a FAT file system in a file. The idea was to make working on them almost impossible for any layperson or small company that wasn't going to invest a sizable amount of time and money into reversing the system and building a replacement engine - unless they purchased MS Office (which used to cost an absolute mint). It also made file access a fast as shit on computers that weren't exactly fast, back then (it's the same reason MS built their own heap allocator for Office <= 2010 - because the Windows heap implementation prior to LFH was just too slow for office, even with the FAT32 document format).

People did eventually reverse the protocol and introduce them into things like Apple's iWork, Openoffice and so on, although MS eventually releasing the document format specs no doubt helped a lot.

Sage for rambling. I need some more tea.
>> No. 422415 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 10:09 am
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>>422412

>The complexity of Flash was partly deliberate, because it stymied efforts to build compatible tools and players. 

There were simple third-party software tools though with which you could make simple animations and save them as Flash files for browsers (*.swf). Granted, none of them offered the level of functionality as Macromedia/Adobe Flash.

I think what killed Flash in the end was both that it was a wide open door for malicious code and that in the case of streaming video, technology had simply moved on. HTML5 makes it far easier to stream video directly in your browser using HTML and script languages than before. And Flash was always a usability nightmare. If you didn't have one of the latest Flash versions installed or if for example your employer had Flash deactivated on your work PC, menu bars could be immaneuverable, so as a good web developer, you had to create an additional non-Flash version of your site, which meant double the work.

Another reason was also that Flash was just overused for pointless intro screens and all kinds of silly moving bits and bobs on web sites. Tastes have definitely changed in that respect. Today's web sites are much more pared back and static again in a way. Appealing visuals are achieved much more with good typography and simple, large photos.
>> No. 422416 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 12:20 pm
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You were all warned about walls of comp-sci text outside /g/ before lads, you have a board for this.
>> No. 422417 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 12:28 pm
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>>422416
Are you also going to make all the car posters actually use /mph/ as well?
>> No. 422418 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 12:47 pm
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>>422416

Point taken. I thought we were just doing some superficial tech banter here, but you are of course right.
>> No. 422419 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 12:54 pm
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>>422417
I actually considered making a thread in /shed/ demanding this but decided against it.
>> No. 422420 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 1:03 pm
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>>422419
It's probably best if someone just starts a 'cars' thread on /mph/ and then let them use it as they see fit.
>> No. 422425 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 3:12 pm
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>>422416

I see no "comp-sci" here. Get back to us when someone starts comparing O(log n) complexity of various algorithms.

Seriously though, this was all "average computer user" level stuff especially if you compare it to the serious talk about rotary motors and what not the carlads are getting into in the "Week" thread.

Sage for being miserable git
>> No. 422427 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 3:17 pm
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>>422295
What's your idea of "good"?
>> No. 422435 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 7:09 pm
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>>422425
Both are inappropriate uses of the respective threads, lad. Both types of autists have their own boards, so stop being apathetic whingers and make threads about what interests you.
>> No. 422436 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 7:23 pm
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>>422435

In both cases here, though, the discussion came out of natural conversation. The car stuff only went in depth when someone asked a question, and went from there.

The original comment about GIMP might have arguably been better as a new thread, but I'm not really against the conversation that followed, either, it felt just as relevant as anything else we've nattered about in this thread.

I do want us to use the boards properly, but I get the sense that the car discussion would never have happened at all elsewhere, and the computery one would have likely been much shorter in /g/. What I'm saying is I've no idea how to fix that.
>> No. 422437 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:17 pm
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>>422436

> What I'm saying is I've no idea how to fix that.

There is no way to "fix" it beyond breaking the board's natural "nattery" culture.

I wonder if >>422435 is the same pillock who had multiple tearies when drugs were brought up in weekend threads a few years ago; I mean shock fucking horror - people do drugs at the weekend, people use computers and cars during the week and want to natter about it to like minded people.

It's not as if the week/weekend threads actually have a topic to begin with - they're general purpose talk about what's going on in your life threads.

>>422435

If I jumped into a thread in /fat/ to spam 30+ posts about the technical ins and outs of my new workout tracking app I might get your point, but in a week/weekend general I feel like anything pretty much should go unless the conversation is definitely and definitively moving towards a single divisive topic, at which point it's better taken to its respective board before the inevitable cunt-off begins.
>> No. 422438 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:36 pm
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>>422437
Or one of the many lads who complained not long ago about inaccessible discussions on computers and computer programming in /shed/, maybe? Nice strawman, regardless; points for effort. Niche board discussions aren't "natural natter" to 99% of the population.

It's not hard to make a thread, go make a thread now. I'm sure you'll get replies, but you're obviously too cripplingly insecure to put yourself out there and say "discuss this with me" for fear of rejection... on an anonymous imageboard... for a reason unbeknownst to anyone as /g/ is one of our most used boards.

This is yet more evidence for why these generals are complete wank.
>> No. 422440 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:38 pm
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>>422436
>The car stuff only went in depth when someone asked a question, and went from there

Couldn't someone have asked a question to start a new thread on /mph/?
>> No. 422441 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:41 pm
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You lot are only complaining because it's GIMP. I don't know why there is an overwhelming prejudice against open source software here but it's pretty nasty at times like this to be honest.
>> No. 422442 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:50 pm
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>>422438

>I'm sure you'll get replies

This is the thing, I'm not sure you would.

There's more discussion about mechanical keyboards in one of these weekend threads than there is on the /g/ post about mechanical keyboards, and the latter was there earlier. I lurk here enough to know that specific topic threads on specific boards just don't get the same replies as the week/end threads, so it makes sense that people are more willing to contribute their thoughts here.

I don't necessarily think this is a good situation, but it's the one we're in. Clearly encouraging people to make new threads doesn't work, so we could start moderating the week/end threads more heavily, moving applicable posts from here and reposting them as new threads on relevant boards, but my instincts tell me that wouldn't be effective. I'm not against trying, though.
>> No. 422443 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 8:52 pm
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>>422441

I too have noticed the insidious creep of anti-open source here. I've mentioned it a few times but just get shouted down. I worry that it's so subtle that it's affecting people's attitudes without them even realising.
>> No. 422445 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 9:21 pm
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>>422443
Audible mirth.
>> No. 422446 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 9:23 pm
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>>422443
Yeah - we're all in the pocket of Big Software.
>> No. 422447 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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>>422446

>Yeah - we're all in the pocket of Big Software.

And they post on anonymous image boards to discourage people from using open source.
>> No. 422450 Anonymous
28th November 2018
Wednesday 11:03 pm
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>>422447


Yeah - this guy is a fucking hero.
>> No. 422451 Anonymous
29th November 2018
Thursday 12:23 am
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>>422425
Why would I be comparing two O(log(n))s? Complexity is always measured by scalability, you can't split hairs there.

Appropriately the box was labelled 'autism'
>> No. 422452 Anonymous
29th November 2018
Thursday 12:49 am
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>>422451
Saint Ignucious to the rescue
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sJUDx7iEJw
>> No. 422532 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 1:42 pm
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>>422440
To ask somebody who popped in a 'general bants' thread at the right time? Seems mildly counter-productive, given that I didn't seek to derail the thread - the conversation happened naturally and fell into oblivion just exactly.
Now if I had something I'd like to have a proper discussion about, I'd go to the right board. That's only reasonable.
>> No. 422537 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 4:38 pm
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An MP has resigned from Labour because she gave her son a £50,000 job despite him being convicted for drug dealing and then getting caught out lying by saying she didn't know of his crimes when she appointed him when it turned out she'd written a statement of character to the judge. When a journalist confronted her about this she threw a bucket of water over them and threatened to smash their face in with a baseball bat.

I've had a look at the resignation statement on Twitter and the majority of the replies are showing solidarity or complaining about journalists [having the audacity to ask the judge who wrote the reference letters for her son]. I do not understand blind tribal loyalty. If someone was caught out being dishonest and became aggressive when they were called out on it then they wouldn't get my unwaivering support.
>> No. 422538 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 6:46 pm
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>>422537
>and the majority of the replies are showing solidarity or complaining about journalists
Would I be correct in assuming that this is a coloured lady?
>> No. 422539 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 7:13 pm
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>>422537
>I've had a look at the resignation statement on Twitter and the majority of the replies are showing solidarity or complaining about journalists

Well, duh... it's their Twitter, who do you think is following her? Her supporters. It's like when people host Twitter polls over some matter of opinion and low and behold, ninety-percent of your followers agree with you.
>> No. 422540 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 7:52 pm
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>>422538

You would indeed be correct.

Amusing how easy it is to guess right off the bat.
>> No. 422541 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 7:54 pm
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>>422538
Yes. I know the likes of Kate Osamor and Fiona Onasanya have been up to no good, but it does feel like black politicians, particularly female ones, are under a greater degree of scrutiny and expected to behave to a higher standard than others. Diane Abbott and Dawn Butler are hardly the only MPs to spout bollocks, but they seem singled out for it.

>>422539
I don't browse Twitter often, but most of the time when I see people responding to a Tweet they're disagreeing and hurling insults. Then again, I guess certain people in the public eye are lightning rods for that sort of thing
>> No. 422542 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 8:04 pm
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>>422541
Misogynoir is unfortunately very common in this Trumpist era.
>> No. 422543 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 8:04 pm
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>>422537
I misread this the first time and now I've learned I have much more sympathy for judges than for journalists.
But more importantly I can't stop wondering: why was there a bucket of water nearby? There's something inherently comic about it. Until disillusioned, I'm going to imagine an MP carrying a bucket of water everywhere they go just in case they ever see a journalist.
>> No. 422544 Anonymous
1st December 2018
Saturday 8:16 pm
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>>422540

I'm not trying to be a bleeding heart or a contrarian here, but I genuinely imagined she'd be white - I think that probably just says more about what I imagine the default politician to look like than anything else, though.

>>422543

>I can't stop wondering: why was there a bucket of water nearby?

I had imagined they'd tried to corner her outside her house, it's the only thing that makes sense. It's also pretty funny if that's the case.
>> No. 422557 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 2:47 pm
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My other half has said that all granny smith apples are picked around October time and are then kept in giant chilled units, where they stay fresh all year round, before being delivered to the shops as and when required. Is she having me on?
>> No. 422558 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 3:02 pm
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>>422557

Apples, and most fruit and vegetables, are very often stored in a chilled, modified atmosphere environment which prevents the propagation of ethylene, which is the primary factor in ripening fruit. Most of the fruit we buy is months old, and apples in particular can be stored this way for almost a year. I don't know for sure that all granny smiths are picked in October, but there's no reason they couldn't be.
>> No. 422559 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 3:29 pm
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The self-service tills in Poundland (at least) have been given Santa's voice, and it makes terrible Christmas puns. It's even more obnoxious that you are probably imagining.
>> No. 422560 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 4:15 pm
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>>422559
The other month they were doing an Elvis voice for some reason. They were painful to use.
>> No. 422561 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 7:45 pm
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>>422560
Did it leave you all shook up?
>> No. 422563 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 8:28 pm
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>>422558

I know that apples in particular require a special kind of atmospheric environment to stay fresh for a year. This largely means that the air they are stored in must be oxygen free or have at least a very low oxygen content. Therefore, those warehouses usually have signs warning you that the air in the storage areas is not safe to breathe.
>> No. 422565 Anonymous
2nd December 2018
Sunday 10:36 pm
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>>422561
uh huh

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