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>> No. 424490 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 5:23 pm
424490 Speed Dating
Any of the you lads tried speed dating before? Any tips or stories to share?

I'm thinking of giving it a go as I moved to London recently and haven't had much luck with meeting women through friends-of-friends. I must admit though, the thought of scorecards is a bit unsettling but maybe it's a sign of the more serious searching for a partner that I should be doing. Will give you an update if I find the bottle for it.
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>> No. 424690 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:47 pm
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>>424670
Ah cock. I waited until 3 to book the ticket and by then they only had female ones going spare - 10 by the looks of things so really I think I dodged a bullet for a 25 person event.

Maybe next weekend and I'll try and do some selfies for OkCupid in the meantime.
>> No. 424943 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:08 am
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>>424690
To give you an update: I just got back from an event and while I had no idea what I was doing there weren't any major embarrassments.

I will say that 4 minutes isn't long enough at all unless you're looking for doing chat-up lines. In a best case scenario you just manage to get the conversation flowing and then you have to abruptly move and it's back to square one. I can't remember half the people I spoke to and the lads who clearly did well were the ones who arrived with a game-plan much like pulling random fanny at a nightclub. Makes you wonder what the point is really.

If I was going to do it again I would admit to the shame of going 'nerd dating'. It got awfully tedious getting asked about travelling and holiday plans for the umpteenth time and I was tempted to start a cunt-off by pointing out it's just empty consumption. If I was being honest I could strike out everyone on those grounds.

Oh well, I got pretty hammered and a pencil out of it.
>> No. 424944 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:37 am
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>>424943
>I can't remember half the people I spoke to and the lads who clearly did well were the ones who arrived with a game-plan much like pulling random fanny at a nightclub. Makes you wonder what the point is really.

I have never been to such an event - but I imagine the point is, when you meet someone you like, they're generally very easy to talk to and conversation flows easily. An awkward first four minutes probably isn't going to turn into something wonderful, given more time. I think that's the point of speed dating. If I were you, I would be brutally honest about how travelling and holiday plans were empty consumption - you need to quickly find the person who feels the same way about it, by the sound of it; maybe don't make it sound like a cunt-off though.
>> No. 425039 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 10:26 am
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>>424943
> I was tempted to start a cunt-off
Audible mirth.
>> No. 425050 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:33 pm
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Join Slimming World or one of the other fat clubs. Seriously, you will be drowning in fanny batter.
>> No. 425057 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:50 pm
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>>425050

Then shortly after he'll be suffocating for other reasons.
>> No. 425059 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:53 pm
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>>425057

Slimming World has a pretty decent success rate. It's a pretty smart move to get your hooks into the Slimmer of The Month while she's still fat and doesn't have any self esteem yet.
>> No. 425060 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:04 pm
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>>425059
Never change, .gs.
>> No. 425061 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:05 pm
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>>425060
Think about it. It's the ideal place to meet women.

A lot of them aren't even fat. You don't want the type of fat woman that goes to a fat club, though. Go for the reasonably sized ones.
>> No. 425065 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:09 pm
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>>425050

I'm only nine stone. I don't think I could pull it off. Shame really, because I love a fat bird.
>> No. 425071 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:21 pm
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>>425059
>It's a pretty smart move to get your hooks into the Slimmer of The Month while she's still fat and doesn't have any self esteem yet.

If you ever read the likes of Love It then they regularly have stories from women who were fat, lost a lot of weight and then decided to ditch their loyal husband and friends because they've decided they're now better than them and are getting attention from loads of other blokes.

If you go to Slimming World to pick up women you don't go for the huge women actually losing weight. You go for the ones who are a healthy size already. If you're into fatties then go for the one who was feeling bad so she polished off a pack of biscuits.

Drowning. In. Fanny. Batter.
>> No. 425077 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:07 pm
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>>425061

Exactly this.

I've actually had first hand experience in these groups. You're often the only bloke there, or one of a very, very small handful, you have something in common with all the girls there, and it might seem daft, but you're seen every week to be working towards and achieving a goal, which is a fairly attractive trait to have. Not to mention that men often lose weight faster than women by grace of body chemistry, so you end up painting yourself as a dedicated sort of chap without really trying.

And, as you allude to, 'fat' means something very different to women than it does to men. There's women there who only really want to lose a bit of a belly, or think they're half a stone too heavy, and many people continue to attend the group even when they're at their ideal weight and are maintaining - they highly recommend you do this in the group, and they waive all group fees if you're within 3lbs either way of your target weight, so you're almost guaranteed there's women there every week who are at their target weight and very enthusiastic towards others still losing. There are of course much bigger people there, but it's not even close to a majority in a typical group.

Not to mention being stuck in a church hall with 45 women every monday night for an hour and a half is an excellent way to hone your banter skills, even if you don't fancy anyone at the group.

I call it the 'whale method'
>> No. 425080 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:16 pm
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>>425077

How would you rate the effectiveness vs. the 'ostrich method'?
>> No. 425082 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:24 pm
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>>425080

I think they're both very valid and effective methods, but the ostrich method is going to provide you with a better opportunity for casual sex with multiple women - my methodology is, admittedly, more geared towards a singular sexual or even romantic partner. It's a lot harder to play the field when the field all meets once a week to gossip. There are ways around this, such as going to different groups, but really to undertake the Whale method you must be prepared to be stuck with one partner until she either succeeds, or gives up on that last five pounds entirely, or eats enough cake that she's too embarrassed to go back.
>> No. 425083 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:29 pm
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>>425065
>> No. 425087 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:50 pm
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>>425077
This lad. This lad gets it.

>they waive all group fees if you're within 3lbs either way of your target weight

That's one of the key things about these fat clubs. They charge you if you lose too much weight. They want to encourage positive and sustainable lifestyle changes rather than dramatic changes in weight where you might end up piling it all back on again because they've not fundamentally got rid of bad habits. This even gives our resident 9 stone lad a way in to the weigh-in; being skinny doesn't mean you are healthy so you're interested in healthy lifestyle choices and being better.

Seriously, there is no better way to meet women. FEAST, LADS. FEAST LIKE KINGS UPON THE WOMEN.
>> No. 425088 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:52 pm
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>>425083
Wot the bloody fuck?
>> No. 425094 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 4:17 pm
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>>425087

>FEAST, LADS. FEAST LIKE KINGS UPON THE WOMEN.

Fanny is syn free, after all.
>> No. 425096 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 4:31 pm
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>>425083

I know a bad photoshop when I see one.

If you want to know what my upper limit is, I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap. 100% worth it.

>>425087

>This even gives our resident 9 stone lad a way in to the weigh-in; being skinny doesn't mean you are healthy so you're interested in healthy lifestyle choices and being better.

Nice angle, I might give that a punt.
>> No. 425099 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 5:08 pm
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>>425096
>I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap

Can you explain facesitting to me, please? I like fat women but I've never seen the allure of that.
>> No. 425101 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:12 pm
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>>425096
I've always wanted to try facesitting but never had the chance. My last two gfs have been over 30 stone, and both refused to sit on my face as they thought they'd hurt me. I'm missing out.
>> No. 425103 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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>>425101
>My last two gfs have been over 30 stone

Can you show me a picture of someone of a similar size? I'm not very good at visualising weights and heights. My girlfriend is a size 18, possibly a size 20, and I'm not sure how much she weights but I'm guessing she's not 30 stone hefty.
>> No. 425104 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:38 pm
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>>425099

It's just eating fanny but she's on top. I suppose the appeal is that it feels quite submissive. Sort of the equivalent of shoving your cock down her throat.
>> No. 425105 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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>>425103



Please enjoy this unsettling presentation.
>> No. 425106 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:28 pm
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>>425104
Oh, is that it? I thought it was people who got off on being smothered. I've done that, but my girlfriend doesn't like it because she cums too quickly.

>>425105
Thanks. She's big, but not that big.
>> No. 425107 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:32 pm
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>>425105
Oh fuck those crappy videos with synthesised voices.
>> No. 425108 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:33 pm
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>>425106

As someone who's neither a sub nor into fatties, face sitting is a great way to give head without straining your neck. It's less comfortable for the bird but it lets you focus up so much more I'm certain she'll find it worthwhile.
>> No. 425110 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:18 pm
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>>425099

Do you like fannies? Do you like arses? Do you like thighs? Then why not try having your head completely surrounded by fanny and arse and thigh! I'm definitely into the smothering/crushing aspect, but I also really like getting punched.

>>425101

Word to the wise: triple-check that your bed is sufficiently sturdy. You do not want the entire weight of a substantial woman landing on your head from a height. It hurts, and not in the fun way.
>> No. 425111 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:29 pm
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>>425106

>Oh, is that it? I thought it was people who got off on being smothered.

That's also a thing, where they just sort of sit on you so you can't breathe. It's hot if you're into that sort of thing.

The effect is pronounced enough when my 7st girlfriend does it, I can't even imagine a massive woman doing it, I'd probably just feel like I was definitely going to die.
>> No. 425112 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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>>425111

I've been told to correct that my girlfriend is 8st 2, so "they don't think I'm anorexic"
>> No. 425113 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:44 pm
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>>425111
I'd imagine it's smellier with a hefty lass.
>> No. 425138 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 6:02 pm
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>>425096
>If you want to know what my upper limit is, I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap. 100% worth it.

Jesus lad. Well each to their own. Also what do you think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2gIJkDYe-g
>> No. 427645 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 5:38 pm
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>>425071
>If you ever read the likes of Love It then they regularly have stories from women who were fat, lost a lot of weight and then decided to ditch their loyal husband and friends because they've decided they're now better than them and are getting attention from loads of other blokes.

>If you go to Slimming World to pick up women you don't go for the huge women actually losing weight. You go for the ones who are a healthy size already. If you're into fatties then go for the one who was feeling bad so she polished off a pack of biscuits.

S C I E N C E !

Before Steven Jason Williams had his gastric bypass in August 2017, he attended group sessions to prepare himself. It was at one of these classes that Williams, now 44, was first told that many married patients will divorce within years of the surgery.

“Many people who have undergone this treatment describe it as a strong, almost life-changing event,” says Prof Per-Arne Svensson of the University of Gothenburg, who led the research. “Many things apart from just the kilos are affected: how they socialise with people, how they become more socially active.”

It’s not just how you feel about yourself that changes after dramatic weight loss. Society treats you differently, too. “A lot of these people have been obese for many years, or even their whole life,” says Svensson. “Suddenly, they lose the weight, and people start noticing them.” Patients used to being invisible suddenly find themselves to be a desirable sexual and romantic proposition.


https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/17/bariatric-divorce-why-extreme-weight-loss-leads-to-break-ups

Go to Slimming World. Avoid the fatties actually losing a lot of weight. Bang everyone else. You cannot argue with science.
>> No. 427646 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 5:46 pm
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>>427645
>Patients used to being invisible
I find it difficult to think of fat people as invisible. I mean, how can you not see something this big?
>> No. 427647 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 5:53 pm
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>>427646
You're aware of their existence, but you don't actually pay attention to them.

There's a fat kid at work and I tend to view him as subhuman on some levels. His poor level of personal hygiene and general incompetence don't help matters.
>> No. 427648 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 6:10 pm
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>>427647

This is pretty accurate from the perspective of a used-to-be-fatso.

I've always been very good at my job, but people seemed much more dismissive of me and willing to blame me or outright say I was slow at tasks, despite me being objectively rather good.

Only looking back on it years later have I realised that's what was happening. At the time it was just confusing and frustrating, and I doubted myself constantly, which obviously didn't help with the emotional overeating.

Whether people looked down on me for being fat or simply picked up on my rock bottom confidence and responded to that, the result was the same. Much like an ex-smoker, it's hard to restrain myself from preaching to every obese fucker out there that there's a better life out there for them, but I get that it's not that easy.

Sage for acrobat level blogging.
>> No. 427649 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 6:14 pm
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>>427648

>Sage for acrobat level blogging

Fucking word filters.
>> No. 427657 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 10:57 pm
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>>427649

Could we have a word filter for "word filter", just to confuse everyone even more?
>> No. 427659 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 11:09 pm
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>>427657
I think there was one for a while but someone removed it.
>> No. 427660 Anonymous
17th June 2019
Monday 11:33 pm
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>>427657

I set it to "genuinely hilarious jokes" or something similar, not sure who got rid of it.
>> No. 427663 Anonymous
18th June 2019
Tuesday 11:53 am
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>>427660

No I set it to "genuinely hilarious jokes" m8. Must have been the other one wot got rid of it.
>> No. 427739 Anonymous
19th June 2019
Wednesday 9:39 pm
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>>427648
>I've always been very good at my job, but people seemed much more dismissive of me and willing to blame me or outright say I was slow at tasks, despite me being objectively rather good.

It's confirmation bias. It's all too easy to accept that a fat fucker is lazy, sloppy and has no sense of pride in what they do usually because it's true.
>> No. 427740 Anonymous
19th June 2019
Wednesday 10:27 pm
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>>427663

Did you? I thought I was the funny one.
>> No. 427748 Anonymous
19th June 2019
Wednesday 11:24 pm
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>>427739

I was the other extreme for part of my life, especially in adolescence and until about my mid-20s, in that I was skinny bordering on the unhealthy, and being skinny and having no muscle as a lad is or was often still perceived as lacking manliness. One or two lasses that I had sex with at least I got laid occasionally even told me that I was really skinny for a guy and that they normally preferred more blokey looking blokes.

It was only when I started working out regularly that I overcame my self esteem issues in that respect as I saw my muscles gradually grow from a bit of weight lifting. Nowadays, I'd say I am of average build, with an average amount of upper body muscle for a guy in general. Women don't complain. I just don't seem to have the right genes to be ripped like some lads who pretty much just have to think of dumbbells in their head in order to make their biceps grow.
>> No. 427772 Anonymous
20th June 2019
Thursday 7:58 pm
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>>427748

I'm still the same, but I've found I just need to play to my strengths. It works a charm for pulling bisexual girls who are up for threesomes, because I have a lot of the traits they find attractive in women anyway except with a gigantic knob.

I don't have any insecurity about being a smaller, feminine, less intimidating bloke, but I think what I have developed instead is a sort of contempt for that concept of rugged, chiselled manliness. I've never wanted to be that, and I can't see the appeal in it. Even when I play games, I don't want to be the bloke built like a brick shithouse, I want to be some form of sneaky bastard who'll stick you in the back.

I just don't really get it, if I'm being honest, and it has always seemed to me that the lads who are really ripped, rugby players or gym addicts, supposedly they want to be hard men so that they can attract ladies, but they're the biggest closet bumders I've ever witnessed. Rugby lads in particular are another breed. "Wheeeey, remember that time I fucked Daz in the arse after he got out the shower? Whaaaay fuckin top bantz m8"
>> No. 427774 Anonymous
20th June 2019
Thursday 8:22 pm
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>>427772

>Whaaaay fuckin top bantz m8

That certainly is top bantz.
>> No. 427780 Anonymous
20th June 2019
Thursday 11:41 pm
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I did it once and there was this probably-older-than-the-age-group bird who'd obviously had a few too many making an utter spectacle of herself. Topic of conversation for a couple of my dates during the evening.

A few weeks later I did a more casual meet-and-greet event in a nearby but different town.... and she was one of the ones running it. Obviously a plant to get the female numbers up at the speed dating event (as it was there were more men than women, everyone had one date that evening where they sat at their table and did little more than play with their phone for 5 minutes), and maybe help out the organiser at the same time.

I have not done a similar event since.
>> No. 448072 Anonymous
25th November 2021
Thursday 3:45 pm
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>>425071
>If you ever read the likes of Love It then they regularly have stories from women who were fat, lost a lot of weight and then decided to ditch their loyal husband and friends because they've decided they're now better than them and are getting attention from loads of other blokes.

Case in point: Adele.
>> No. 448083 Anonymous
26th November 2021
Friday 9:44 am
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>>427772

You are every 16 year old vaguely into rock music at my secondary school and I claim my 10 pounds.
>> No. 448085 Anonymous
26th November 2021
Friday 10:04 am
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>>448083

They aren't all gangly weeds. Some of them are huge fat lads with tits.

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