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>> No. 424490 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 5:23 pm
424490 Speed Dating
Any of the you lads tried speed dating before? Any tips or stories to share?

I'm thinking of giving it a go as I moved to London recently and haven't had much luck with meeting women through friends-of-friends. I must admit though, the thought of scorecards is a bit unsettling but maybe it's a sign of the more serious searching for a partner that I should be doing. Will give you an update if I find the bottle for it.
Expand all images.
>> No. 424491 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 5:57 pm
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>>424490
It sounds awful, but I do understand the problem having lived in London for 18 years. Then again, the whole modern dating scene (Tinder, Bumble, etc) fills me with complete dread - the only time I have ever "swiped right" is on behalf of others when they've asked me to "help". Thank goodness I have a partner and am very happy with her.
>> No. 424493 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 7:42 pm
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>>424491
>It sounds awful, but I do understand the problem having lived in London for 18 years.

Huh, it does seem to be a harder scene but I've not been able to work out why considering the place is full of millions of career women with a positive gender balance. Maybe it's the long-hours.
>> No. 424494 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 7:58 pm
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>>424493
If its any consolation, most of the women I know complain about the dating scene in London too - I don't think its particular to men, at all.
>> No. 424495 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 8:02 pm
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My local gaming bar runs a regular speed dating events for geeks. They have way more men interested than women, so women have to be bribed with free drinks while very few of the men who apply make it through. Maybe non-geeky speed dating has less of a dearth of women.
>> No. 424496 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 8:52 pm
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No idea, stopped thinking of myself as human some time ago. Don't bother with dating or hookups at all. Life's a lot more simple now.
>> No. 424497 Anonymous
24th February 2019
Sunday 9:11 pm
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I've been on speed dating 3 times. It was a waste of time. Despite even matching with some of them, they don't respond when you contact them.
>> No. 424498 Anonymous
25th February 2019
Monday 3:52 pm
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Never tried speed dating, as I find the concept ridiculous. How can you possibly work out if somebody is a promising match for you by talking to them for just a matter of minutes.
>> No. 424499 Anonymous
25th February 2019
Monday 4:29 pm
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>>424493

I think something about online dating in built up areas causes people start to view each other with contempt if they don't match their ideal.

Serial monogamy can reach an absurd end game where people can have high expectations whilst putting in no effort themselves or compromising.

The myth of the soul mate becomes destructive because people start thinking the perfect person is someone you might actually find and are entitled to have.
>> No. 424571 Anonymous
26th February 2019
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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>>424498
I find I know if I've clicked with someone really quickly. But a speed dating format seems a terrible way to do this, as you're basically trying to have a simultaneous 5-minute job interview intsead of a relaxed conversation. I'm an acquired taste anyway, I'm sure 90% of the women I spoke to would be smiling, nodding and quietly plotting their route to the fire escape.
>> No. 424574 Anonymous
26th February 2019
Tuesday 10:38 pm
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>>424571

>But a speed dating format seems a terrible way to do this, as you're basically trying to have a simultaneous 5-minute job interview intsead of a relaxed conversation.

Five minutes may be enough to spark someone's initial interest and give them a very tentative idea of what kind of a person you are. But it's always going to be quite superficial, and you are going to run the risk of passing on people who would really be a good match for you after all, but never had a chance because you only had five minutes together.

I've been on dates where I was reluctant to even go, but having spent two or three hours with that person, I often gained a much more profound idea about who they were, and that was often also when I really began to feel some sort of attraction, and again in a way that five minutes with somebody could just never really engender.

And I also don't think that speed dating solves the problem that many singles with busy schedules feel they have. If you can't even make time to get to know somebody during the course of an evening together, even if they then turn out to be no good match for you at all, then maybe you just aren't in a place in your life where a partner is what you need.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuJW6gzxQwg
>> No. 424583 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 7:42 am
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>>424574
Whoah. You should have said the clip contains the r word.
>> No. 424586 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 10:14 am
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>>424583
If you are truly this sensitive then I worry for your ability to cope with any sort of discordance in your life.
>> No. 424591 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 12:25 pm
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>>424583

How and why are you worried about that while posting on a website called britfags?
>> No. 424593 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 1:25 pm
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>>424583
What's the R word?
>> No. 424594 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 1:29 pm
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>>424593
Rubberbandits.
>> No. 424595 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 1:33 pm
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>>424593

Rimming.
>> No. 424596 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 1:49 pm
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>>424593
Rhododendron.
>> No. 424599 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 3:10 pm
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>>424583

>the r word

Seth Rogen?

Sorry, my mistake. Won't happen again.
>> No. 424614 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 7:50 pm
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>>424593
Rubberbabybuggybumpers.
>> No. 424615 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 8:01 pm
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>>424593

Ronseal.

This is a Cuprinol website and we won't utter that R word again.
>> No. 424618 Anonymous
27th February 2019
Wednesday 10:03 pm
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>>424615
I use Cuprinol because it's cheap and I rent anyway. But Ronseal is better and everyone knows it, even you.
>> No. 424629 Anonymous
28th February 2019
Thursday 4:34 pm
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>>424495
One of the local similar venues had bints asking the organisators to bring less programmers.
Poor dweebs.
>> No. 424630 Anonymous
28th February 2019
Thursday 5:09 pm
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>>424629
Fewer.
>> No. 424635 Anonymous
28th February 2019
Thursday 7:11 pm
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>>424629
include <iostream>
int main()
{
bool codersAreDweebs = true;
while (codersAreDweebs)
{
std::cout << 'Please kill me' << std::endl;
}
return 0;
}
>> No. 424645 Anonymous
1st March 2019
Friday 7:42 am
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>>424630
Thanks m9.
>> No. 424652 Anonymous
1st March 2019
Friday 5:28 pm
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>>424618
It does what it says on the tin, i.e. it seals Rons.
>> No. 424670 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:36 pm
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Well, I'm going to my first one later and now feel like a teenager getting ready for the school disco. My guess is that you need to put a suit on but what questions should I ask? More importantly, how do you answer what you're looking for? My relationships have always just fallen the way they have - I live largely without big plans.

I think I'd rather just go to a few job interviews than this. There's cocktails afterwards as well so there's that torture as I'll be on my own.

>>424495
>>424629
Makes you wonder what kinds of women go to this. I thought speed dating was more something for nerds now that we have tinder and everything.
>> No. 424685 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:38 pm
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>>424670

>Makes you wonder what kinds of women go to this.

I suspect they advertise them as something other than 'geek night' to the women? Either that or it's just a load of lasses that like marvel films and memes and that and are surprised when they're shoved in front of a load of trainspotters and Linux enthusiasts.
>> No. 424688 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:42 pm
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>>424670

>More importantly, how do you answer what you're looking for? My relationships have always just fallen the way they have - I live largely without big plans.

That's a perfectly satisfactory answer. It'll turn some people off, but if you say it with confidence it'll make you look easy-going and fun-loving rather than an aimless waster.
>> No. 424690 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:47 pm
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>>424670
Ah cock. I waited until 3 to book the ticket and by then they only had female ones going spare - 10 by the looks of things so really I think I dodged a bullet for a 25 person event.

Maybe next weekend and I'll try and do some selfies for OkCupid in the meantime.
>> No. 424943 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:08 am
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>>424690
To give you an update: I just got back from an event and while I had no idea what I was doing there weren't any major embarrassments.

I will say that 4 minutes isn't long enough at all unless you're looking for doing chat-up lines. In a best case scenario you just manage to get the conversation flowing and then you have to abruptly move and it's back to square one. I can't remember half the people I spoke to and the lads who clearly did well were the ones who arrived with a game-plan much like pulling random fanny at a nightclub. Makes you wonder what the point is really.

If I was going to do it again I would admit to the shame of going 'nerd dating'. It got awfully tedious getting asked about travelling and holiday plans for the umpteenth time and I was tempted to start a cunt-off by pointing out it's just empty consumption. If I was being honest I could strike out everyone on those grounds.

Oh well, I got pretty hammered and a pencil out of it.
>> No. 424944 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:37 am
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>>424943
>I can't remember half the people I spoke to and the lads who clearly did well were the ones who arrived with a game-plan much like pulling random fanny at a nightclub. Makes you wonder what the point is really.

I have never been to such an event - but I imagine the point is, when you meet someone you like, they're generally very easy to talk to and conversation flows easily. An awkward first four minutes probably isn't going to turn into something wonderful, given more time. I think that's the point of speed dating. If I were you, I would be brutally honest about how travelling and holiday plans were empty consumption - you need to quickly find the person who feels the same way about it, by the sound of it; maybe don't make it sound like a cunt-off though.
>> No. 425039 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 10:26 am
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>>424943
> I was tempted to start a cunt-off
Audible mirth.
>> No. 425050 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:33 pm
425050 spacer
Join Slimming World or one of the other fat clubs. Seriously, you will be drowning in fanny batter.
>> No. 425057 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:50 pm
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>>425050

Then shortly after he'll be suffocating for other reasons.
>> No. 425059 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 1:53 pm
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>>425057

Slimming World has a pretty decent success rate. It's a pretty smart move to get your hooks into the Slimmer of The Month while she's still fat and doesn't have any self esteem yet.
>> No. 425060 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:04 pm
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>>425059
Never change, .gs.
>> No. 425061 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:05 pm
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>>425060
Think about it. It's the ideal place to meet women.

A lot of them aren't even fat. You don't want the type of fat woman that goes to a fat club, though. Go for the reasonably sized ones.
>> No. 425065 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:09 pm
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>>425050

I'm only nine stone. I don't think I could pull it off. Shame really, because I love a fat bird.
>> No. 425071 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 2:21 pm
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>>425059
>It's a pretty smart move to get your hooks into the Slimmer of The Month while she's still fat and doesn't have any self esteem yet.

If you ever read the likes of Love It then they regularly have stories from women who were fat, lost a lot of weight and then decided to ditch their loyal husband and friends because they've decided they're now better than them and are getting attention from loads of other blokes.

If you go to Slimming World to pick up women you don't go for the huge women actually losing weight. You go for the ones who are a healthy size already. If you're into fatties then go for the one who was feeling bad so she polished off a pack of biscuits.

Drowning. In. Fanny. Batter.
>> No. 425077 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:07 pm
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>>425061

Exactly this.

I've actually had first hand experience in these groups. You're often the only bloke there, or one of a very, very small handful, you have something in common with all the girls there, and it might seem daft, but you're seen every week to be working towards and achieving a goal, which is a fairly attractive trait to have. Not to mention that men often lose weight faster than women by grace of body chemistry, so you end up painting yourself as a dedicated sort of chap without really trying.

And, as you allude to, 'fat' means something very different to women than it does to men. There's women there who only really want to lose a bit of a belly, or think they're half a stone too heavy, and many people continue to attend the group even when they're at their ideal weight and are maintaining - they highly recommend you do this in the group, and they waive all group fees if you're within 3lbs either way of your target weight, so you're almost guaranteed there's women there every week who are at their target weight and very enthusiastic towards others still losing. There are of course much bigger people there, but it's not even close to a majority in a typical group.

Not to mention being stuck in a church hall with 45 women every monday night for an hour and a half is an excellent way to hone your banter skills, even if you don't fancy anyone at the group.

I call it the 'whale method'
>> No. 425080 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:16 pm
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>>425077

How would you rate the effectiveness vs. the 'ostrich method'?
>> No. 425082 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:24 pm
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>>425080

I think they're both very valid and effective methods, but the ostrich method is going to provide you with a better opportunity for casual sex with multiple women - my methodology is, admittedly, more geared towards a singular sexual or even romantic partner. It's a lot harder to play the field when the field all meets once a week to gossip. There are ways around this, such as going to different groups, but really to undertake the Whale method you must be prepared to be stuck with one partner until she either succeeds, or gives up on that last five pounds entirely, or eats enough cake that she's too embarrassed to go back.
>> No. 425083 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:29 pm
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>>425065
>> No. 425087 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:50 pm
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>>425077
This lad. This lad gets it.

>they waive all group fees if you're within 3lbs either way of your target weight

That's one of the key things about these fat clubs. They charge you if you lose too much weight. They want to encourage positive and sustainable lifestyle changes rather than dramatic changes in weight where you might end up piling it all back on again because they've not fundamentally got rid of bad habits. This even gives our resident 9 stone lad a way in to the weigh-in; being skinny doesn't mean you are healthy so you're interested in healthy lifestyle choices and being better.

Seriously, there is no better way to meet women. FEAST, LADS. FEAST LIKE KINGS UPON THE WOMEN.
>> No. 425088 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 3:52 pm
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>>425083
Wot the bloody fuck?
>> No. 425094 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 4:17 pm
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>>425087

>FEAST, LADS. FEAST LIKE KINGS UPON THE WOMEN.

Fanny is syn free, after all.
>> No. 425096 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 4:31 pm
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>>425083

I know a bad photoshop when I see one.

If you want to know what my upper limit is, I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap. 100% worth it.

>>425087

>This even gives our resident 9 stone lad a way in to the weigh-in; being skinny doesn't mean you are healthy so you're interested in healthy lifestyle choices and being better.

Nice angle, I might give that a punt.
>> No. 425099 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 5:08 pm
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>>425096
>I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap

Can you explain facesitting to me, please? I like fat women but I've never seen the allure of that.
>> No. 425101 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:12 pm
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>>425096
I've always wanted to try facesitting but never had the chance. My last two gfs have been over 30 stone, and both refused to sit on my face as they thought they'd hurt me. I'm missing out.
>> No. 425103 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:36 pm
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>>425101
>My last two gfs have been over 30 stone

Can you show me a picture of someone of a similar size? I'm not very good at visualising weights and heights. My girlfriend is a size 18, possibly a size 20, and I'm not sure how much she weights but I'm guessing she's not 30 stone hefty.
>> No. 425104 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:38 pm
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>>425099

It's just eating fanny but she's on top. I suppose the appeal is that it feels quite submissive. Sort of the equivalent of shoving your cock down her throat.
>> No. 425105 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:40 pm
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>>425103



Please enjoy this unsettling presentation.
>> No. 425106 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:28 pm
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>>425104
Oh, is that it? I thought it was people who got off on being smothered. I've done that, but my girlfriend doesn't like it because she cums too quickly.

>>425105
Thanks. She's big, but not that big.
>> No. 425107 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:32 pm
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>>425105
Oh fuck those crappy videos with synthesised voices.
>> No. 425108 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:33 pm
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>>425106

As someone who's neither a sub nor into fatties, face sitting is a great way to give head without straining your neck. It's less comfortable for the bird but it lets you focus up so much more I'm certain she'll find it worthwhile.
>> No. 425110 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:18 pm
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>>425099

Do you like fannies? Do you like arses? Do you like thighs? Then why not try having your head completely surrounded by fanny and arse and thigh! I'm definitely into the smothering/crushing aspect, but I also really like getting punched.

>>425101

Word to the wise: triple-check that your bed is sufficiently sturdy. You do not want the entire weight of a substantial woman landing on your head from a height. It hurts, and not in the fun way.
>> No. 425111 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:29 pm
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>>425106

>Oh, is that it? I thought it was people who got off on being smothered.

That's also a thing, where they just sort of sit on you so you can't breathe. It's hot if you're into that sort of thing.

The effect is pronounced enough when my 7st girlfriend does it, I can't even imagine a massive woman doing it, I'd probably just feel like I was definitely going to die.
>> No. 425112 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:39 pm
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>>425111

I've been told to correct that my girlfriend is 8st 2, so "they don't think I'm anorexic"
>> No. 425113 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:44 pm
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>>425111
I'd imagine it's smellier with a hefty lass.
>> No. 425114 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 9:30 pm
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Pardon the interruption but there's a nice lass I met who would like to go out on another date. I thought that maybe my matches had simply ticked everyone but I guess there's a 3-day rule on these things. Speed-dating can work it seems.

Anyway, bit of a /map/ question but does anyone know a decent idea for a date around Croydon? The area is a bit out of my way but she came all the way down for the speed-dating so I thought maybe I'd return the favour. Google is proving rather challenging with the question and it might be a bit weird to ask a girl out and then ask her to suggest the venue.

Oh, and:
>>424670
Don't wear a suit. You'll look like a dickhead and everyone will ask if you've just finished work.
>> No. 425138 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 6:02 pm
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>>425096
>If you want to know what my upper limit is, I'll tell you when I find it. I will tell you that I was once rushed to hospital on a spinal board as a result of a facesitting mishap. 100% worth it.

Jesus lad. Well each to their own. Also what do you think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2gIJkDYe-g

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