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>> No. 424669 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:35 pm
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Weekend thread: bangers and mash edition.

If that lad with all the instant mash is about then I may have a business proposition for him; I went a bit overboard buying wholesale bags of Quorn sausages from Farmfoods.
Expand all images.
>> No. 424671 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:48 pm
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Oh god I was thinking of making bangers and mash for tea tonight, just this morning.

Not sure about the Quorn sausages though. Do Farmfoods do bulk buys of Linda McCartney by any chance?
>> No. 424672 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:50 pm
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Oh, and - is now a good time to discuss mashed potato recipes?

I feel like there is a long discussion to be had on techniques and, most importantly, additions. Picture is related.
>> No. 424673 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:52 pm
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mashlad inspired me to buy a 4kg bag of maggi brand instant mash from Amazon. It's not bad at all.
I'm aware it's not haute cuisine - but mash, in various forms, is my go-to comfort / instant / whatever food.
>> No. 424674 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 2:59 pm
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I used to really hate mash, but it was just because I'd never had good mash.
>> No. 424675 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:25 pm
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I had some jacket potatoes for lunch. I mashed them with my teeth.
>> No. 424676 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:29 pm
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>mash, in various forms

What forms are these? One of my friends swears by instant mash sandwiches, but it just sounds like a complete abomination to me.
>> No. 424677 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:44 pm
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Been meaning to ask you lads how the feck did you acquire a taste for marmite. It's like having sweat and tears on toast. Haven't tried Vegemite, but it's supposedly similar.

Just how do you eat this stuff without gagging?
>> No. 424678 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:45 pm
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The thinnest of scrapings. Like a pea-sized amount for the whole slice.
>> No. 424679 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:46 pm
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You're meant to build up a resistance through eating Twiglets.
>> No. 424680 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 3:56 pm
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I think I saw it as a challenge to like it when I was a wee-un since my older, somewhat bossy sister couldn't bear the stuff. I'll echo the above sentiments - if you're not enjoying it you're probably using too much. Slather it on like jam and it'll be far too strong. Add a small touch and let it melt in to unsalted butter you've spread in advance. Marmite is there to provide the saltiness along with the umami (or what have you) that makes it so uniquely wonderful.
>> No. 424682 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:22 pm
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The most important part of mash is one many people gloss over - the type of potato used.

The Maris Piper is a good choice as it's very versatile, but I think the King Edward is the best British spud for the mash job. They're just about perfect texture wise and they have a lot of flavour meaning you might not even have to add that much to them. More on that later.

Irish potatoes, when they ever do make it over here, are what you should be buying, they're just really fucking good. Roosters are nice - if you like leaving the skins in your mash, they're a good choice as they add more of that earth flavour you get from 'dirty' mash as they call it. Queens are, to my taste, the perfect choice for mash, but though they make the fluffiest, their high dry matter content does mean you might need more adulterants in the final mix.

Desirees are very good if you're into super smooth velvet mash rather than fluffy.

The cheat code for good mash is dairy, mind. milk and butter can, unsurprisingly, improve your spuds exponentially. Robouchon apparently used to use as much butter as potato by weight at the height of his game. I say apparently, I believe my sources entirely.

Mustard is always a good shout, though I'd rather have dijon than english, because you can use more to give it a better 'bite' without overpowering it with the mustard heat.

Roasting heads of garlic takes just about exactly the same amount of time as it does to heat up and boil your potatoes, so is clearly a sign from god that they were meant to be. Simply squeeze the good stuff out right into the spuds as you're mashing/ricing. I don't normally advocate for truffle oil, but adding a few splashes to roast garlic mash works fantastically.

I have a couple of personal mashes: we did a vanilla mash for a while that definitely tasted much better than you imagine, it goes great with duck. I thought I had invented that one, but I found out in The French Laundry cookbook that Keller had being doing it with seabass for ages. Or so he claims. Prove it.

The other one the exact recipe I've kept a closely guarded secret for years and was known internally to colleagues as 'crack mash'. I of course can not reveal the exact amounts to you all (actually I've just forgotten because I'm old and can't be arsed to find my recipe book) but it included soy sauce, dried shiitake (there's a very involved process in making them powdery enough to not ruin the texture of the final product, in retrospect probably not worth the effort), Parmesan, chicken stock we made in house and dehydrated for other purposes (though at one point I switched to essentially chicken demi glace), you get the idea. It was an umami bomb, but not overpowering - it still tasted like mash, just really, really addictive mash.

After writing that and thinking about >>424677, I bet a bit of marmite would work wonders and be a much less fiddly version of my crack mash, though probably (hopefully) not quite as remarkable. Miso mash would be class, too.

I fucking love mash.
>> No. 424683 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:23 pm
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I did not realise how long this post was when I was feverishly typing it. Fucking hell.
>> No. 424684 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:35 pm
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I just use milk and butter with copious amounts of salt and pepper. I probably should try herby mash.

When I was at primary school they used to serve mash with melted cheese on top. Now that was a guilty pleasure.
>> No. 424686 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:38 pm
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Don't use too much, but more importantly have it with butter. Lots of butter, get the butter all melted and mix the marmite in when you spread it.
>> No. 424687 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:39 pm
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Vegemite is much nicer - it's less salty and doesn't have that oleaginous sliminess of Marmite.
>> No. 424689 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 4:42 pm
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Parsley mash is good stuff, I imagine sage and onion would go well with your roast chicken dinner.

I remember melted cheese from school too, though I thought it made it a bit gloopy. It's pretty hard to make bad mash, though.

When I was in hospital for a month I really craved mash, and didn't clock for about three weeks that 'creamed potato' as it was written on the menu was actually mash. I was very annoyed with myself that I'd not figured that out sooner, though I suppose I was off my tits on morphine at the time.
>> No. 424691 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 7:50 pm
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>Not sure about the Quorn sausages though. Do Farmfoods do bulk buys of Linda McCartney by any chance?

The Quorn sausages were £3.99 for a 2.04kg bag. They're 'Best of British' ones rather than the frozen ones; I've had a Google and these ones are usually £2.50 for a 240g pack of four, although those are ones for the fridge rather than the freezer. I've never had them before but apparently one sausage has the same salt content as half a small pizza from Domino's, so they must be good.

I'm not a fan of Linda McCartney sausages. Quorn ones are alright if you pan fry them so they're crispy on the outside. The best ones I've found are the supermarket own brand ones; Farmfoods has a surprisingly decent vegetarian range but I'm not keen on their sausages as they taste like the Linda McCartney ones.
>> No. 424692 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:30 pm
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Not that you lads care but it's now been over two months since I last had a fizzy drink.
>> No. 424693 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:53 pm
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>Linda McCartney sausages

The "normal" ones are a bit boring - the red onion and rosemary variety are excellent and much better.
>> No. 424694 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 8:57 pm
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Well done lad.
>> No. 424695 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 9:36 pm
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What made you stop? I quit them a few years ago, cannot believe I used to drink a can of coke a day.
>> No. 424696 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 10:21 pm
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One day you will have some more pop, realise that it now tastes rubbish and won't be able to finish a can because it just makes you feel awful. It's strange how taste changes on exposure.
>> No. 424697 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 11:22 pm
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I struggle to enjoy ketchup for this reason. I've got to have mayonnaise instead, which is underwhelming but consistent.
>> No. 424698 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 11:27 pm
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Thanks mate.

Probably similar reasons to most people, it was my real vice, I would drink a can or two a day, could literally not help but think about when I'd next have a can of coke and it was giving me sore teeth, making me tired and was all round just something I really didn't need. Thought I'd give no fizz 2019 a go (with the exception of sparkling water).

Now I'm the exact same, the amount of sugar and sweeteners and acids I drank just from fizzy drinks alone astounds me. What on earth was I thinking?

Bizarrely I eat much better, because I fancy sugar less, and pay more attention now to what's in my foods.

Interesting, I was having lunch with a friend and they ordered a coke and I felt nothing at all. I realised earlier than I don't even look at the fizzy drinks section in shops anymore, whereas before I would not be able to resist torturing myself.

It's bizarre how such a small change has benefitted me so much, I would wholly recommend.
>> No. 424700 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 8:18 am
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It's strange because at one point, I'd have considered myself wholly addicted to soft drinks like coke too. But I think it was mainly just because my mum always bought a big pack of cans on the weekly shop. I stopped drinking them more or less entirely just because I'd moved out, and I'm too lazy (and tight arsed) to buy additional things to drink besides tea and coffee. It was definitely more than a can or two a day; it was all I used to drink at one point and my teeth show it. But weirdly it just went away on its own through the lack of will to go out and fuel the addiction myself. The only time I have coke now is if I order it with fast food or a takeaway, or get some in as mixer with alcohol- I still enjoy that syrupy, sugary goodness; I just know it's hardly good for me so it's fortunate I don't have it often.

I've got to be honest you lads sound like complete poofters going on about how you used to be can a day coke addicts and now you're clean you can't even finish a can.

So yeah, cheers mum.
>> No. 424702 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 12:47 pm
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I never knew the UK had invaded Madagascar during WW2 until now, but we did.
>> No. 424703 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 2:06 pm
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I could only buy compressed air in a 4 pack which was annoying until I realised how fun it is to spray stuff. This one can is definitely not going to last until I get around to taking the computer apart.
>> No. 424705 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 5:54 pm
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Took the oven to bits today and completely cleaned it out.

As someone else posted here recently, very satisfying.

Also, completely descaled the kettle, dishwasher and shower heads with white vinegar - it is a wondrous household cleaning fluid, particularly at 39p a bottle. WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS BEFORE - should be taught in schools.

(Also, why did I not know there are two competing spellings of wonderous).

Good weekend.
>> No. 424706 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 6:07 pm
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Do you ever ask a question, especially on the internet, where you know 90% of the answer and want it confirmed by someone else, and then you get fifteen messages telling you to do something else, something you know isn't accurate?

I don't know if there's a word for that but it's very unpleasant.

I'm literally looking at a replacement hub for my bike wheel, it's the same hub as the one that's there already, but isn't knackered like mine is. I asked the 'experts' on a forum how easy it is to re-lace a wheel if you've never done it before, explaining my predicament.

Most of them have told me it's too expensive and almost impossible to find the right replacement hub, and that it's cheaper to buy a new wheel. The hub is £7.50 on amazon and is the same one. A replacement wheel would be £60.

I don't understand.
>> No. 424707 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 7:03 pm
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>I don't understand.

The people on that forum are thick.
>> No. 424708 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 8:20 pm
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That sort of thing was probably taught in Home Economics, a subject which I imagine has been renamed and is probably viewed with suspicion since it conjures up images of Hausfrau lessons. Let alone giving modern teenagers knives and ovens to play around with.

We did some cooking at my school but I rememeber washing up more than anything. Certainly we never made anything particularly tasty. Vinegar indeed has a million uses, it's the sort of thing people used to learn from their gran.
>> No. 424709 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 8:23 pm
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Not as cheap but equally good (and with much less smell) is "lemon salt" (citric acid). Ignore the stuff from the cleaning aisle, if you have a turkish or chinese supermarket near you they'll have it for not very much. A few spoonfulls in the kettle and its shining like new.
>> No. 424710 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 9:50 pm
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Wheelbuilding is harder than it looks, especially on an old rim that might be a bit crooked and especially if you don't own a truing stand. A £7.50 hub is going to be absolute dogshit and re-using old spokes and nipples is generally a bad idea. Decathlon will sell you a basic replacement wheel for £22, which is less than you'd pay for a hub, a box of spokes and nipples and a reasonable-quality spoke wrench.
>> No. 424711 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 9:54 pm
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>Wheelbuilding is harder than it looks

That was the question I wanted answered.

>A £7.50 hub is going to be absolute dogshit

Sure, but it's the same model as the one I started with so I'm willing to deal with it.

>re-using old spokes and nipples is generally a bad idea

For any reason other than wear and tear? They're only a couple of hundred miles old which is exactly why I don't fancy chucking the whole wheel.

>Decathlon will sell you a basic replacement wheel for £22

A 700c with a track hub?
>> No. 424716 Anonymous
4th March 2019
Monday 12:06 am
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Citric acid is the best thing really. Also for kettles and coffee machines. You can buy it by the tub on eBay for cheap. Most limescale removal products in regular supermarkets also contain mainly citric acid.
>> No. 424723 Anonymous
4th March 2019
Monday 9:00 pm
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that was racist
>> No. 424724 Anonymous
4th March 2019
Monday 9:11 pm
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Sausages aren't racist, not even vegetarian ones.
>> No. 424767 Anonymous
6th March 2019
Wednesday 9:16 pm
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>> No. 424865 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:00 am
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It's very wet and windy out.
>> No. 424867 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:45 am
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I've found myself a silent place where no one is going to pester me with inane chatter. Pretty alright by me.
Work tomorrow. I haven't been there for about a week and with all honesty, I'm not looking forwards to it.
>> No. 424869 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 12:04 pm
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Very windy here, but bright and sunny. Strange to think that this time last year we were knee deep in snow and nothing moving on the roads, though.

This weekend I am mostly doing nothing.
>> No. 424894 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 3:25 pm
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Ordered a pub wall pack of Bacon Fries when I was drunk last night and they showed up just now, I've eaten four packs already. Amazon Prime is simultaneously the best and worst service I use.

There's no other snack like them though, is there. Frazzles can go fuck themselves.
>> No. 424919 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 6:56 pm
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Scampi fries > bacon fries.
>> No. 424920 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 6:57 pm
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I do love scampi fries too, but they do smell like bad fanny.
>> No. 424923 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 8:00 pm
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All scampi smells like bad fanny.
>> No. 424924 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 8:09 pm
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Surely that's half the fun?
>> No. 424925 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 8:26 pm
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Cheese Moments are King; the others are for stegs and whoppers.
>> No. 424926 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 8:29 pm
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All crisps are not very good.
>> No. 424928 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 9:07 pm
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Those Extinction Rebellion twats have poured 400 buckets of red paint on Downing Street today. Seems like a rather pointless exercise, other than a jolly day out for middle class people filling their time with their latest hobby horse.
>> No. 424930 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 9:17 pm
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Not really, you're talking about it, posting about it online, maybe even calling into a radio phone-in to make a bell out of yourself, which is, broadly speaking, the point of a protest, to get chins wagging, eyeballs focusing. I don't think they were expecting the red paint to suck excess Co2 from the atmosphere, or form a set of glyphs spelling out how to develop a cold fusion reactor. I'm not really arsed if they're middle class, given the cost of public transport that only makes sense, their message is spot-on and they've done a fine job getting it talked about.

Be nice if they threw it properly though, they're rather half-arsing it.
>> No. 424931 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 9:39 pm
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People will forget about it by tomorrow.
>> No. 424934 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 10:11 pm
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Good job everybody, we made a mess that will require a load of water, fuel and money to clean, but we Started a Dialog™ and that's the most important thing.
>> No. 424936 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:05 pm
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>> No. 424937 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:08 pm
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It's not even paint; just flour, water and a bit of food colouring. Today's rain will have washed it away by now. I'm sure this will have a terrible impact on the environment, how dare they!?
>> No. 424938 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:42 pm
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The spelling was intentional.
>> No. 424939 Anonymous
9th March 2019
Saturday 11:57 pm
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That's cool man you really made some good points there.
>> No. 424940 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 12:04 am
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Why are XR so obsessed with fucking flour?

Are they Big Wheat shills?
>> No. 424941 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 12:12 am
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whats the deal with flour.png
>> No. 424942 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 12:43 am
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As did you my bro, pedantry is legit hot piss
>> No. 424945 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 7:37 am
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>It's not even paint

Yes it was. You not knowing what the definition of paint is doesn't mean it isn't paint.

About 400 demonstrators, including families with children, spilled more than 200 litres of red paint to make the severity of climate change “viscerally clear”.


The paint is spilled.


I'm glad I'm not one of these children of middle class hand-wringers, given a name like Hector or Hattie and constantly lectured to. There was an article in the Graun yesterday about raising fisherperson boys and it sounded like an absolute nightmare.
>> No. 424946 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 7:46 am
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>There was an article in the Graun yesterday about raising fisherperson boys and it sounded like an absolute nightmare.

Here we go:

Looking back, there were a lot of things I should have talked more about to the boys. Many of my friends turn out to have strategised. One friend said: “Make it normal to bring up topics around the table – talk about Brett Kavanaugh, the middle-class white male dominance of government, pornography, social media, talk about strong women and men.” Someone else admitted to “constant nagging on my part about how to treat women, with the occasional lecture on systemic Sea Shepherd Conservation Society”. Then there was the friend who admitted that her sons tended to be all, “There goes mum, banging on about fishing again, yawn.”


At one meal, when I tried to explain to a table of men and boys why #MeToo was a necessary act of mass civil disobedience, how the ideal of a rule of law actually shielded white men and protected the status quo, how most women who are assaulted never get justice, it all fell apart. The meaning of rule of law was explained to me. I lost it and walked away in tears. But you know what? I don’t regret it. Sometimes an argument should be that emotional.


Teach your son consent, too, by giving him control over his own body by asking him if he wants to be hugged or kissed. Learning this lesson will mean he will grow up being considerate to others.

>> No. 424947 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 8:24 am
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So you were whinging about how hard to clean it up while knowing it was just water and red food colouring which is being referred to as "paint" for simplicity's sake?
>> No. 424948 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 8:31 am
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Oh dear. You haven't got to grips with this anonymous posting lark, have you?
>> No. 424949 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 8:43 am
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If you jump into a conversation responding in someone's place it's generally assumed that you're agreeing with what they've previously said unless you explicitly say otherwise.
So either it's actual paint which is harmful and hard to clean up or you jumping in to screech that "actually flour and water is also called paint" is irrelevant.
>> No. 424950 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 8:52 am
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>> No. 424951 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 8:54 am
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>> No. 424952 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 9:49 am
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We need to have a little chat about this cunt off, lads.

It's one of the worst I've seen. Not the topic of the argument, but the way it is being argued. Bad grammar, reaction videos, people not understanding how an anonymous cunt off even works - it's not good enough. Either start cunting properly, or face the consequences.
>> No. 424953 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:08 am
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I don't think it can be even classed as a cunt-off; people are clearly trying to wind up the XR lad for being a massive edgelord previously, especially as he's clearly in the pocket of Big Flour.
>> No. 424954 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:09 am
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I've picked up some shitty cold and the weather's got wet and colder.
What a shitty weekend.
Pardon the intrusion lads, back to your cunt off.
>> No. 424956 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:22 am
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I haven't been outside all weekend, and I don't intend to now. The only way I might find out how cold it is will be when I open the door to the takeaway bloke later tonight. Maybe I could get him to put it in the porch and close the door, creating an airlock.
>> No. 424958 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:53 am
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Couldn't agree more.

Cunts cunting other cunts over the definition of paint, does not a cunt-off make. The arguments should have structure, an actual point, and crucially, be something the rest of us can care a jot about.
>> No. 424963 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 11:51 am
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I really like weekends like that though - something wholesome about going to ground, particularly when the weather is bad.

The wind is howling so much its shaking the house and woke me up twice during the night, but other than that, its a nice sunny day here down south.
>> No. 424972 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:01 pm
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It's just started snowing. Like really, really snowing.

Climate's fucked.
>> No. 424973 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:14 pm
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I just got a load of weird hard round snow. The little yellow spring boyos in my windowboxes just can't get a break.
>> No. 424976 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:22 pm
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>weird hard round snow

... hail?
>> No. 424977 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 1:35 pm
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Oh gosh I haven't really done anything to be lauded
>> No. 424981 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 2:55 pm
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The weather today has been well and truly crackers. Drizzle, wind, snow, brilliant sunshine and now torrential rain.
>> No. 424985 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 4:27 pm
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Genuine concern - this stuff is slamming down like God's Spunk
>> No. 424987 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:15 pm
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A proper kebab and shawarma place run by some very nice lads from Iran had its opening this week, and since Thursday I've eaten there three times, once for lunch, one for a colleague's leaving do on Friday night and third time got it delivered for last night's dinner. It is unbelievably fucking good, the last time I had shawarma that tasted that good was in Berlin and I've got no self-control when it comes to great doner. They make all the sauces from scratch and everything.

Consequently I have spent all of today doing 3 (three!) monster shits each the size of a baby's arm and feel like I've lost 15 pounds and no small amount of dignity, but it was worth it.
>> No. 424989 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 10:40 pm
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We've definitely broken the weather.
>> No. 424990 Anonymous
10th March 2019
Sunday 11:37 pm
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If the apprenticeship I applied to keeps having its application deadline extended, does that mean it's jam packed and they're giving as many people as possible a chance, or that no bugger's interested and I'm a shoe in because of what a jolly smart chap I am?
>> No. 424991 Anonymous
11th March 2019
Monday 12:00 am
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If they're extending it, it's because of low interest. Don't take anything for granted though, anyone with a head on their shoulders will be biting their hands for a decent apprenticeship so prepare.
>> No. 424992 Anonymous
11th March 2019
Monday 7:12 pm
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Following on from this. I pussied out from phoning in sick today but decided to grab some lucozade on the way to work. Fucking Nisa charging £1.99 for a 1 litre bottle. Broken Britain I tell you.
>> No. 425001 Anonymous
11th March 2019
Monday 11:19 pm
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> lucozade

I'm so old I remember when Lucozade was only sold in chemists.
>> No. 425005 Anonymous
11th March 2019
Monday 11:27 pm
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Was it? Is that why my dad would give it to me when I got ill as a youngen? That stupid fuck didn't realise I was just dehydrated.


Wow. Anyway...
>> No. 425010 Anonymous
11th March 2019
Monday 11:39 pm
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It was only sold in chemists and came in a glass bottle, wrapped in yellow cellophane. Only posho's got it when they were ill, mind - was expensive; the one time my parents got me some I remember thinking, fuck, I must be really ill.
>> No. 425031 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 7:35 am
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Yeah, it was owned by Smithkline and marketed as a medicinal product until the early 80s.

>> No. 425032 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 8:31 am
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It does taste better after you've spent a week taking your nutrients from a drip.
>> No. 425047 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 11:36 am
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They could've written 'knob' in Cyrillic, at least.
Get well, mate, I've just recovered from one. Some sort of arse flu, I laid immobile for two days, then released a weekly norm of shits in the next two days.
Would wish this to an enemy though.
Good on you, I can appreciate a good doner, sometimes rolling my own from the leftovers.
>> No. 425100 Anonymous
12th March 2019
Tuesday 6:01 pm
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As long as you didn't have AYDS...

>> No. 425139 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 6:11 pm
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I think I finally gained the admiration of the indimitaing little old chinese lady that runs the local asian supermarket. She clearly saw me as just another one of the tiresome nerds that came in to buy instant noodles and Pocky, but has noticed now that I'm just as interested in buying pork blood and beef necks and that sort of thing, and has started to treat me with something approaching kinship.

I think I might buy a Durian from her next week just to seal the deal.
>> No. 425140 Anonymous
13th March 2019
Wednesday 7:07 pm
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Last time I went to a Chinese supermarket a woman told me off, in Chinese, because my daughter sneezed; I believe she thought it was my fault because one of her trouser legs had rolled up a few inches.
>> No. 425183 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 3:12 pm
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I can't decide what to do with myself this weekend.

>> No. 425184 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 3:32 pm
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It's too wet and windy. I was going to walk to the shops to get the ingredients for a lasagna but I can't be arsed in this.
>> No. 425185 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 4:13 pm
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Come home for the weekend. Dad keeps making jokes about my weight. Says he needs to say stuff like this to make sure I'm not too fragile for the real world. Don't know why I bothered coming back.
>> No. 425186 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 4:23 pm
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It's hard to imagine how parents can be this shit, and mine aren't particularly great to start with.

I assume the best response is to take the piss out of him, is he bald? old? prostate cancer? there must be something.
>> No. 425188 Anonymous
16th March 2019
Saturday 4:42 pm
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Not really hard. I used to get the same treatment at times (something tells me that it was all too common and it's just my brain stuffing the memories in the dark corner of my bone-box, never to be taken out again).
Need I say this 'hardening ya' bollocks didn't really help me in the end?
>> No. 425194 Anonymous
17th March 2019
Sunday 11:59 am
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I agree it's very poor parenting and done like this, entirely counter-productive - but there is probably something at the root of it. Taking the piss out of your kids like this is a stupid way of communicating a concern one might have about something, I agree totally on that point, nobody should be unkind, particularly to ones own offspring.

If you've historically had a very poor (uncommunicative) relationship with your kids, "haha you're fat, no just joking" is a terrible way to do it. Many families have history that gets in the way (which people realise and deal with much too late). But there is no such thing as a joke.

I totally agree that taking the piss back is the right defence, though.
>> No. 425207 Anonymous
17th March 2019
Sunday 1:53 pm
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>I agree it's very poor parenting and done like this, entirely counter-productive - but there is probably something at the root of it

No. I agree. I know for sure my mum was too nice to me, let me get away with a bit too much, and I spend quite a few years after moving out before even realising that I needed to build up a thicker skin, to learn that you don't always get something just because you want it, to deal with disappointment and rejection - I just didn't have the tools for it, had never experienced any of it. These aren't easy things to learn as an adult.

This is the only place I'd ever talk about this because it sounds so fucking stupid to say "I had a great childhood, I always got what I wanted, woe is me", but it's true. I wasn't a rich kid by any stretch of the imagination, but I fully understand why many rich kids turn out to be jealous, clueless irresponsible adults.

Definitely not saying you have to call your kids a fat cunt, but introducing them to the harsh realities of life is important.
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