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|>>|| No. 426723
If you could go back in time and give your younger self advice what would it be?
|>>|| No. 426726
This staying up all night thing isn't actually that good for you. Go to fucking bed man.
|>>|| No. 426728
You're going to fuck everything up, you pathetic loser. Just top yourself, the other option's not worth the hassle, not yours or anyone elses, not that they give a shit about you anyway.
|>>|| No. 426730
Pretty much this. I'd also probably give him a fucking smack for being such a pathetic cunt.
Also: Don't even bother to try, it's just a massive waste of time and energy and you'll still be a fucking virgin loser with no real friends and a completely fucked attitude on life either way, so just save yourself the hassle.
|>>|| No. 426732
Don't be so insecure about being circumcised. Between the ages of 14 to 16 there's at least five lasses who are clearly very into you; put your dick inside all of them rather than worrying what they'll think of your dick.
When you're 16 you'll drunkenly fuck up two of your closest friendships. Don't.
Don't give up swimming. If you do then try a team sport like hockey.
Try harder at science. Your teachers may be shite but don't let them put you off the subject completely.
Say yes more often when you're invited out somewhere rather than being so fretful and boring.
|>>|| No. 426735
I would tell my mid 20s self to get a fucking grip on myself and date some girls instead of staying at home on a Saturday night drinking beer and wanking to porn.
>When the high school sweetheart comes back crawling say 'no'.
I actually said no when mine came to her senses a few months after she broke up with me. It was hurt pride, more than anything. Deep down, I would have taken her back in a heartbeat. But I was too thick to realise that her attempts to at least get on speaking terms with me again were really a whole lot more than just her trying to stay friends. I later kind of had a vague feeling for a long time, until an old mutual friend spilled the beans some five years later that she was really heartbroken for a while because she really wanted me back but had no way of letting me know because I rejected every single one of her attempts to get back in touch with me. None of all our old friends wanted to tell me, because they felt sorry for her since I had made it so clear to her and everybody that I didn't want to see her again. On my way home that night, I actually pulled over to the side of the road and started screaming at myself YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! in my car for a few minutes before I was able to compose myself again. I could have saved myself possibly years of emotional problems if I had just shoved all my pride up my own arse and talked to her again. But we just continued to go our separate ways, as we were both already out of school by then, and really never spoke more than a few words again. And that's the way it has been ever since. The last time I spotted her in a crowd somewhere was over ten years ago. It's a ship that sailed such a long time ago, it's now past the horizon.
High school sweethearts are special. It doesn't matter how many other women you meet in your life, they always have a special place in your heart.
|>>|| No. 426740
Stop messing about with girls who aren't into you and take more care of your appearance. You're a lovely man who gets taken advantage of for your naivety while missing the planet-full of women who are desperate to meet an okay guy.
Your cocks is fine and sex is easy. If you end up cumming too soon or can't be bothered/able then just finish her off by making a circular motion on her clit with your thumb and once she's really into it (gently) slide one or two fingers into her hole with a "come here" motion. She'll get what she's after and you can with all odds get a chance to do it again when you're more into it.
Sort your education out and try studying philosophy. You did another subject later in life and it worked out but let's have fun while you're young.
So yeah, basically what he says: >>426724
|>>|| No. 426742
Girls want sex just as much as you do - yes, she's actually trying to shag you, you mong.
|>>|| No. 426743
I wouldn't. With my one and only trip back in time, should it ever come, I will go back to a specific date, time and place where I know my best friend's mum will be on holiday and I will warn her of things to come, in the hope that my friend will be able to avoid them and have a better life.
|>>|| No. 426744
This is so obviously going to end in you becoming your best mate's biological father. "You had one trip back in time and you came to tell me all this... Anon, I've never met someone so caring before." Face it, your twenty-first century ways of not just spitting on and hitting women will make you a pussy magnet in the long-ago times.
|>>|| No. 426745
"If you ever travel back in time and meet yourself make sure you come up with some worthwhile advice otherwise it'll be a waste of everyone's time!"
|>>|| No. 426746
Something along these lines >>426743 plus I'd buy a load of bitcoin so I'd have them when I got back to now.
|>>|| No. 426747
I probably wouldn't. Sure I can avoid some mistakes I guess but my mind set is different than my past self.
If I were to explain what my current goals are to my past self he wouldn't exactly jump straight into it since he'd have different ones too.
As another lad said, I'd invest in Bitcoin or maybe smuggle some lottery numbers to make life a bit easier but it's our shitty life experiences that shape us. Preventing them from happening might completely change who we end up as, for better or worse.
|>>|| No. 426748
Start a savings account, and don't be ashamed to live with your mum and dad for another couple of years.
When I look at all the money I've pissed away on rent over the years and struggled to save, with the housing market what it is, it makes me feel genuinely sick.
|>>|| No. 426750
Prolly take up boxing lessons with my classmate from Year 6. There were numerous occasions where being able to batter someone for good would have improved my teenlad life noticeably.
Healthwise, go to the dentist a bit more often, I think.
Also spend way less time behind the screen during Year 10.
A hefty bit of advice about self-esteem and self-respect would have helped. Not that I can relay any.
And given the implied ability to alter the future events, try hard to keep my ma healthy and postpone her untimely death.
Thinking about it, I don't see any drastic changes to be made. Just a fair share of rather small stuff, yet in the grander scheme it all would have made my life easier. At least I think it would have done. Almost no moments with a need for a sharp turn - it simply wouldn't have made anything sharply better.
|>>|| No. 426751
To believe in myself more. Other people (eg parents) don't know what's best for you.
|>>|| No. 426802
Wouldn't it be more productive to think about the kind of advice your future self would give?
|>>|| No. 426810
I would tell my younger self to be more confident. I was a pretty insecure, shy younglad who was almost hopeless at chatting up girls. I did have a girlfriend now and then, and some of them thought my shyness was cute. But looking at it realistically, they were few and far between compared to the kind of pull that some of my friends my age had at the time. I probably could have increased my success rate significantly if I had been just a bit more confident.
I've got a niece who is 16, almost 17, and she is really a great person, but at times she makes me realise how. fucking. easy. it would have been to get with loads more girls when I was that age.
|>>|| No. 426814
You lads are fucking disgusting. She's 16, for fucks sake.
Would you want otherlads talking about your own niece that way?
|>>|| No. 426822
Listen mate, you're the one who came on here to tell us your niece is a slag and how it got you thinking about how you wished you'd shagged more teenage girls. We're merely responding.
|>>|| No. 426825
> but at times she makes me realise how. fucking. easy. it would have been to get with [girls]
What else does that mean? Your niece makes you realise how easy she is.
|>>|| No. 426827
Are you really that thick?
What I obviously meant by that was that girls at that age are far easier to impress and win over than I as a bashful 16-year-old younglad was ever able to comprehend.
My niece is not a slag, thank you. Maybe that's the only way you can picture what I said about her, which says loads about you. Are you the kind of lad who has a wank in his car across from your local secondary school every afternoon when class lets out?
|>>|| No. 426828
>My niece is not a slag
How do you know? Did she turn you down? That doesn't mean she isn't a slag, she might be a slag with minimal standards.
|>>|| No. 426829
Ok then, would you not be offended if I said something like, your sister likes double horse cock up her arse?
See, doesn't feel nice, does it.
|>>|| No. 426831
The fuck is your problem? Calm down, or fuck off.
Or post a picture of your sexy niece.
|>>|| No. 426832
>Or post a picture of your sexy niece
What, so you can wank off to her too?
I think we better stop at this point with the cunt off, or the mods will start handing out bans like warm blue waffles.
|>>|| No. 426833
I always suspected, to be honest. At worst, I feel a twinge of disappointment at having my suspicions confirmed.
|>>|| No. 426836
My sister is 16 so I'd be impressed that she'd managed to stretch out that far at such a young age. Proud of her, really, for achieving her goals.
|>>|| No. 426837
Too late. Post a picture of your fit niece or be banned forever. You can put black bars over her eyes if you really have to, I'm not a monster.
You have one hour.
|>>|| No. 426839
I apologise for obviously pissing up the wrong lad's leg in this. Not always clear as day on here who is a mod and who isn't.
That said, I am also obviously not going to post a picture of my niece on here. I am sure neither would you in my place.
Maybe based on my apology you will reconsider.
|>>|| No. 426840
>Not always clear as day on here who is a mod and who isn't.
If you're saying you'd only knowingly be an abrasive, reactionary cunt towards a fellow user and not a mod, then I would say you probably don't belong here anyway.
At least show us her tits. That other lad posted his son's cock, didn't he?
|>>|| No. 426841
I wasn't saying that, and didn't mean it like that.
Cunt offs can get out of hand. I didn't think I would be on trial for telling people off for calling my niece a slag, but here we are.
There will definitely be no pictures of my niece, but I also apologise if somebody, not just the mods, felt offended by my responses.
(A good day to you Sir!)
|>>|| No. 426843
You started by being obnoxious and humourless, so got trolled, and are ending by being snivelling because you fear a ban.
Fucking tragic, m8. Not everything you read on the .gs is a true reflection of what someone thinks, most of it is a disingenuous opinion held for comedic effect.
Have a word with yourself.
|>>|| No. 426847
Too late, lad. You can't unpost your Son's cock. Protestation will only act as confirmation of guilt.
|>>|| No. 426850
>your Son's cock.
No, what I posted was "double horse cock up the arse".
Kind of a bewildering mental image, when you think of the acrobatics that that would actually involve.
|>>|| No. 426851
>Protestation will only act as confirmation of guilt
I'll grant you, definitely not something to be ruminating on while trying to focus on hitting your vinegars... or maybe it is, different strokes and all that.
|>>|| No. 426854
Did you just compose that picture, or has somebody else actually at some point taken the time to work this out?
|>>|| No. 426858
If you detached them from the horses then you'd need to pump them full of some sort of resin to keep them turgid, at which point it would be more like resin penises than horse penises. Which brings me to my next point which is that if an erect penis without blood in it is something other than itself, this means that to a degree, blood is penises. In conclusion, average humans have 9-12 pints of penis inside them.
|>>|| No. 426861
>blood is penises
And Soylent Green is people.
Also, are women bloodless then?
Not the impression I have been getting fron them about once every month
|>>|| No. 426862
I've just now read the caption of OP's picture.
Did she really expect to win a brand new car just for serving a few pints more than the other waitresses?
|>>|| No. 426863
Probably not, but I too would latch on to any opportunity to inconvenience my smarmy cunty boss who did shit like that.
|>>|| No. 426864
This is worrying as I got a few pints of someone else's penis put in me a couple of years back.
|>>|| No. 426865
So how does it work then. I mean, you have to have some sort of valid grounds to base a lawsuit on.
Can you sue somebody for using false promises as work incentives?
I don't know about you lads, but that has happened to me at probably every other job I've ever had.
|>>|| No. 426874
I think it'd make more sense to just adopt the Thai attitude and call them katoeys/third gender instead of insulting them by calling them men or pandering to them by calling them women.
|>>|| No. 426877
Isn't that just a flowery way of saying tranny. It still identifies them as other. When I assume a lot of them want to be card carrying women.
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