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>> No. 427053 Anonymous
24th May 2019
Friday 7:06 pm
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New weekend thread.

How's it going, lads? What are you up to this weekend?
250 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 428655 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 5:29 pm
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>>428648

Do they not give you £5 a month for the rest of your life? The lotto has gone to the dogs.
>> No. 428656 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 7:56 pm
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>>428655

After Brexit, that'll be how disability benefits work.
>> No. 428657 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 8:37 pm
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>>428656
We should make them joust. Roll them down a hill with one another with lances attached to them, victor gets exempt from work capability assessments for a year plus a pack of fig rolls. If we pitched it to Channel Five I'm sure they'd commission it. That or we put them in remote control chairs and make a knock-off Robot Wars.
>> No. 428658 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 8:53 pm
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>>428657

You're not thinking like a Tory. The loser gets their benefits sanctioned for not trying, the winner gets their benefits withdrawn for being too able-bodied.
>> No. 428659 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 9:51 pm
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>>428657
>We should make them joust. Roll them down a hill with one another

Jousting doesn't really work if you're parallel. That's just a race while holding a big stick.
>> No. 428660 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 10:01 pm
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>>428659
>> No. 428661 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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>>428660
I think it would work much better in a special purpose arena. My thinking is rather than a simple half-pipe-like structure, it's a bowl that delivers a spiraling motion like those things you used to put pennies in when your mum took you shopping. This gives them multiple goes at getting a successful joust, meaning longer bouts and increased jeopardy. If the "think like a Tory" instruction is still in place we can also bring in corporate sponsors this way to, with regional arenas being christened with the names of industries that left said regions before Johnson's no-deal undermined the economy, democracy and basic rationality.
>> No. 428663 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 11:08 pm
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>>428661
Wouldn't they both be going down in the same direction?
>> No. 428665 Anonymous
9th July 2019
Tuesday 11:25 pm
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>>428663
No, I think the shape is such that if the "pennies" were dropped in opposite directions they would fall in that manner. I don't think the red patterns have anything to do with their trajectory.
>> No. 428666 Anonymous
10th July 2019
Wednesday 6:52 am
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>>428665
What would happen when the wheelchair people fall into the hole at the bottom?
>> No. 428667 Anonymous
10th July 2019
Wednesday 7:17 am
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>>428666

They get donated to charity.
>> No. 428698 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 1:09 pm
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My phone's mic has decided to give up the ghost. Couldn't have happened at a better time, fuck me.
>> No. 428702 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 1:46 pm
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>>428698 they're (or at lease used to be) one of the more swappable bits of a phone, if yours comes apart. Worth a search for modelname microphone replacement on youtube?
Failing that, use a BT headset or earbuds/mic to tide you over?
>> No. 428705 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 3:20 pm
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My Steve's Dave died too.
>> No. 428706 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 3:27 pm
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>>428702
This. It's surprisingly easy to replace phone parts. 99% of the components just plug into the motherboard and gaining access is just a case of using mums hairdryer and a cheap set of torx screwdrivers
>> No. 428707 Anonymous
11th July 2019
Thursday 3:56 pm
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>>428702
Lease? Fucksake, sorry!
>> No. 428726 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 1:51 pm
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>>428702
I've sorted myself a spare mobile for a while.
The old one - I'll prolly fiddle with it later. It's been acting up anyway, namely strange display artefacts where the edges would glow green for some time should the thing be exposed to a humid environment. Like, getting a bit wet during the rain or even being sweaty enough with the thing in the pocket of my trousers.
>> No. 428727 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 2:23 pm
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The sounds my stomach makes sometimes are a dead ringer for the imps from the original Doom.
>> No. 428730 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 8:31 pm
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At the cinema. Advert for Mentos came on. Won't describe it but fucking hell lads it almost made me throw up it was so sickening.
>> No. 428731 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 8:38 pm
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>>428730
Why do they make you watch ads if you've already paid to watch the movie?
>> No. 428732 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 8:48 pm
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>>428731
They don't make you watch the ads.
>> No. 428734 Anonymous
12th July 2019
Friday 9:21 pm
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>>428730

Is it the Wifi password one? It makes me angry and sad at the same time.
>> No. 428735 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 12:05 am
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>>428732
You'd be pushing your luck if you tried to avoid it without wasting time in the foyer with the non-stop reel of adverts and trailers playing. The best I've managed is buying a ticket around 15 minutes after booked screening time, at which point I just caught the end of the trailer package. I did once try to buy a ticket almost 20 minutes after booked, but when the guy on the counter couldn't get the system to issue it.

Thankfully the cinema I now use has a policy that the booked screening time is when the trailer package starts, and they backtime the ads from there.
>> No. 428739 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 11:17 am
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>>428732
Do they give you the time the actual film starts so you can arrive after the ads are finished?

When I last went to the cinema 15 years ago they didn't do that sort of thing.
>> No. 428746 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 12:42 pm
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I am too warm. I bought some doughnut flavour Fab lollies as they were on offer but they taste awful.
>> No. 428748 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 1:06 pm
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>>428746
They look absolutely terrible.
>> No. 428750 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 1:30 pm
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>>428746
The cross section looks like a wound. Fab's already have a lot going on, I'm not sure why they'd throw dough into the mix, so to speak.

Always bet on choc ice, that's my motto that I just said for the first time ever.
>> No. 428751 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 1:37 pm
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>>428748
You can barely taste the raspberry jam in the middle, so it's largely ice cream that tastes of doughnut dough.

Oh well, just another five to eat. £1 well spent.

>>428750
I see you and I raise you.
>> No. 428755 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 2:19 pm
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>>428751
I think the problems, minor though they are, with Maxibon are that they're too small to enjoy all the different bits, and the biscuity half doesn't reach the heights of the chocolatey part.
>> No. 428756 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 2:44 pm
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>>428750
>>428751
I will never understand you people. Why would you want a treat with no flavour?
>> No. 428758 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 3:00 pm
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>>428734
That was an infuriating watch, but no it was this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa09WgiHZ0Y
>> No. 428759 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 3:40 pm
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>>428756
What's the point of having a fruit flavoured lolly when you could just have fruit?
>> No. 428761 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 5:01 pm
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>>428758
>Eat Mentos and you too will be forced to interact with strangers by an overly enthusiastic man-behind-a-curtain

It's unsettling to think of how many people would've had to sign off on such an awful advert for the British market.

>>428759
Because fruit isn't refreshingly cold?
>> No. 428762 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 5:07 pm
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>>428761
>Because fruit isn't refreshingly cold?

It is if you store it in the fridge.
>> No. 428763 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 5:10 pm
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>>428762
Not if the fridge is switched off.
>> No. 428764 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 5:18 pm
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>>428762
So is coffee.
>> No. 428765 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 5:30 pm
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Can I get a brief rundown of this disdained Mentos advert? Is it some kind of minty video nasty?

>>428756
I like Solero, but I take a very serious issue with the idea that a choc ice "has no flavour". Chocolate and vanilla are flavours, they might not be your top choice, but nevertheless flavours they are.
>> No. 428766 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 7:27 pm
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My local charity shop sells paperbacks five for £1 so I've ended up buying a certain book by Vladimir Nabokov in order to bulk up the numbers. I do most of my reading during my lunch break; if I take it into work would everyone start thinking I was a proper wrong 'un? I mean, I can't even post the title of it on here because it gets blocked.
>> No. 428770 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 8:53 pm
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>>428765
The trouble with vanilla is that it's ... what's the word?
>> No. 428771 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 9:54 pm
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>>428770

A highly used and sought after favouring for many, many years?
>> No. 428773 Anonymous
13th July 2019
Saturday 10:20 pm
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>>428766
>if I take it into work would everyone start thinking I was a proper wrong 'un?
Yes. You'll get funny looks for reading anything by Nabokov really.
>> No. 428780 Anonymous
14th July 2019
Sunday 7:54 pm
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Someone in one of the houses nearby has been in his garden telling off his kids for several hours.
>> No. 428795 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 2:58 am
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>>428780
Why? Two minutes with a belt is much less effort and much more effective.
>> No. 428798 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 5:57 am
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Woke myself up with a fart this morning.

I thought that was just a joke people made, I had no idea it could actually happen.
>> No. 428799 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 9:20 am
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Could .gs have saved him?
>> No. 428800 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 9:20 am
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>>428795

You only need one minute if you use the buckle end.
>> No. 428814 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 2:58 pm
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Bolt-modded my Model M.

Christ, I liked it before, but now it's like typing on a very clicky, very haptic cloud.
>> No. 428843 Anonymous
15th July 2019
Monday 8:08 pm
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>>428814
Jealous, but I love you.
>> No. 428900 Anonymous
17th July 2019
Wednesday 5:18 pm
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>>428814
the Numpad 5 only works if it's pressed hard. Haven't a clue why, but I really don't want to have to dissassemble the whole thing. Percussive maintenance hasn't seemed to work so far.
>> No. 428925 Anonymous
18th July 2019
Thursday 10:58 am
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>>428726
Well fuck me.
I've just found a dirty hack to sort my mic problem out. It's not a hardware problem apparently. Just the noise cancellation gimmick playing silly buggers.
I haven't applied it yet. The fact that the symptoms mentioned in that forum post almost exactly describe my situation means it'll prolly work.

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