Just vibing on that "can't get out of bed to get a drink because what's the point" shit.

I've got some housework to do tomorrow, then the next 2 days I plan on doing sweet fuck all.

Getting up early tomorrow to see my parents over the bank holiday. I don't mind the change of scenery but, between their insistence that I come up now and my brother seeing them later in the week, I know I'm going to be put to work on whatever project my mum has decided upon.

Anyone know what I should get for the birthday of a lass I recently started seeing? All I can think of is gimmicky tat.

>>427053
It's going to be a great weekend.

>>427057
>Anyone know what I should get for the birthday of a lass I recently started seeing? All I can think of is gimmicky tat.

Make her something.

Melt chocolate, mix in evaporated milk, bash some Creme Eggs into it and leave it in the fridge to set. Piss easy homemade chocolate fudge.

>>427057

More detail needed m8. The first proper gift is a test of how well you know her. What is she into? How does she dress? What are her aspirations? How did you meet? What do you like to do together? What is the most memorable moment from your relationship thus far?

>>427060 A strap-on. (c) Spacemoose.
(note, probably not, really. Unless you want to, in which case, go for it. I'm not your mum).

My girlfriend has just told me off for pissing in the sink. I don't see the harm in it; I had the tap running.

>>427062

"The sink" is a strange way to refer to your girlfriend's arse, lad.

>>427063

Maybe there's just a "t" missing in that word.

>>427062
My wife was taking a shit the other week and I did this out of desperation, it was that or piss myself and I also ran the tap, and she went ballistic. I don't get it either, apparently we brush our teeth in there. Fuck knows how she does it, but I run the tap over the brush I don't dip it in my beard water.

Urine is basically sterile anyway.

>>427065

On the ISS, every drop of water gets recycled. So the water contained in your space coffee will probably have gone through the urinary tracts of a dozen people before you. So what harm will a bit of piss do in someone's bathroom sink.

>>427067
Not just on the ISS. Water is in a constant cycle, Tap water will have been pissed, what, and vomited countless times before.

>>427068

Yes, but on the ISS, the urine is collected and filtered and reprocessed into drinking water very directly. When you piss in your toilet at home, that piss will go on a long journey through the entire ecosystem before it ends up in the groundwater or a water reservoir again from which it is then processed again before it is deemed safe to drink from your tap at home.

Your coffee on the ISS will have been someone else's piss right the day before.

>>427062>>427065

Amateurs. Piss in the back garden, it makes you feel like an outdoorsman and she'll never know.

>>427072

When I was a young lad I had a friend over and he did a piss in the garden. He was forever known as "Chris that did a wee in the garden". I'm not really sure why he did that, maybe it was a territorial thing.

>>427073

I used to hang out on a hip hop producer forum in the early 2000s. When Kanye West made the news for pissing on the carpet in his dressing room at the MTV Europe Awards

https://dlisted.com/2008/11/08/kanye-west-can-go-pee-pee-wherever-he-wants/

a lot of people piped up saying

>Haha, I like to do that to whenever I'm in a hotel. I think it's a territorial thing.

I was like huh?

>>427072

There's little in life quite so invigorating as an outdoor wee.

>>427070

Interesting article about space piss:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150527-solving-a-space-stations-toilet-shaped-problem

Not that easy to tell in the pictures, but I think they need to give astronauts supplements which make your piss go dark brown so that it is easier to filter.

It turns out that the proportion of water you can reclaim back from piss has pretty large implications due to the weight of any clean water that might need to be sent up on rockets to replenish the ISS.

>>427065
>Urine is basically sterile anyway.
This is a myth, it is sterile in your bladder but on the way out of your urethra it picks up germs from your epidermis.

Hooray for extra bank holidays!

My Facebook sponsored ads are 50/50 for gay dating or Shamanismic investment/zakat apps.

I guess Facebook thinks I'm a gay eskimoc? Being neither, that's fine - it means that Facebook/The Man doesn't know all that much about me, but surely that's dangerous? Muslamism isn't particularly known for its tolerance of LGBTQQIA+, and even having those ads come up on your feed might (falsely or otherwise) out you if a family member or whatever saw it?

>>427083
Facebook don't care.

>>427083

People who don't use adblock deserve to be killed in an honour-based crime.

I really like the sounds optical drives make.

Sleeping a lot. I have trouble getting enough sleep on working days again.
>>427067
Not too sexy when I think about it a little longer.
Speaking of piss, I do recall a small excerpt from Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle, a bit too colourful piece of a story, of Danny Waterhouse and Sam Pepys micturating on some wall whilst sharing how good it feels.
Mind you, the general setting is the end of the 16th century and both of them had had an urinary bladder stone removed surgically earlier. Yet again, the joys of health regained.
>>427083
> doesn't know all that much about me
Could be.
Could also be something with slightly more finesse, as in not hinting how much shit they actually know about you.

>>427085
You put in the word "don't" by mistake. For a second there I thought you intended to say something ridiculous.

>>427088

I honestly don't think I could truly trust anyone who doesn't use an adblocker. It suggests a profound level of ignorance or indifference. The internet is already a horrible ordeal without two-thirds of your screen being filled with ads for stuff you've already bought.

A while back I was talking to a lad I work with about videogames. He said he only played FIFA, specifically FIFA 2010. I'd since wondered what it was about that version that was so great, but it turns out that it's literally the only PS3 game he's got and he's incredibly tight-fisted when it comes to spending money on games/entertainment in general. That strikes me as a bit odd, I mean even with a budget of a fiver you can walk out of any CEX in the land with literally weeks of fun if you don't mind last gen games.

Anyway, in that spirit I bought Killzone 2 for 50p, so I guess I'll give it a go.

I'm approaching the age when MILFs aren't MILFs anymore really.
I find this mildly unsettling.

>>427091

Gilfs?

>>427091

I'm at the age when pornstars that were 18 when I was 18 are being listed as MILFs in videos and I fucking hate it.

Speaking of porn, I found out the other day that Chris Crocker now does it. It's a funny old world.

>>427091
>>427094
Aren't porn milfs pretty much anyone over the age of 21? I find the whole concept perplexing from a fantasy angle given as a young lad all the m8s mums I lusted over had to be late 30s at the youngest.

Porn is weird to think about.

>>427096

18 to about 22 is teen porn. Depending on your youthful looks. Then it's college/coed, and after that it's MILF.

I saw a stage show at a nude table dance bar in Prague's amusement district a few years ago where they had a "teen model" segment. Really not my age group anymore these days. I felt like a right carpet-bagger when I realised that it was physically turning me on to watch an 18-year-old, 19 at best, shove a bead chain up her minge one bead at a time. While sat on a chair with her legs spread towards the audience.

>>427097

>>427098
Enough with the white supremacist propaganda, thanks.

>>427099

>>427100




I'll get my coat.

>>427095
I'd wager that Mr Ferrara does the Director/Secretary scenes a lot. Or something like that.

I've got a pretty bad cold at the moment, with a throat infection that feels like I'm swallowing razorblades. My sinuses are starting to become affected as well.

Fuck.

>>427103
Get well soon.
I've just recovered from mine. It was a complete piss-take.

i visited the yellow brick road and done shrooms with a octogenerian

>>427085
>Facebook app for Android
>Adblock

u wot m8?

>>427106

Adclear, Adguard or Pi-Hole m8.

>>427107
I'm not sure if you're aware of how sponsored posts on Facebook work, m8.

>>427107
>>427110
In case anyone wasn't aware, Facebook deliberately engages in chicanery to force users to see sponsored posts.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-46508234

Just be a friendless weirdo and don't use Facebook, idiots.

>>427115
They've recently managed to get FB Purity removed from the Chrome addon store; thankfully it's still fairly easy to get manually.

I was in a second-hand book shop today and they had the entire Flashman Papers, but the majority of them were in an absolutely terrible state. Flashman had a number of pages which had fallen out so I'll see if I can find it for cheap on eBay as I bought Royal Flash and Flashman's Lady.

Is 2AM too late for a crisp sandwich? I don't care what you say because I won't be refreshing /*/ until I've eaten it.

>>427275
Depends on the bread. Depends on the crisps.

5 months without fizzy drinks.

Done: New trellis up the side of the garden shed as the honeysuckle's overgrown the first one. 2 lavender plants, 1 sage plant, 1 lily of the valley & 3 camellia in the ground. 3 tomato plants strung up in pots. Birdfeeder up, full of seeds.

To do: 6 ivy cuttings, 1 aloe vera pup and 1 lavender cutting propagating, 2 jade leaf cuttings and handfuls of both rosemary and sage cuttings left to pot. Need to build some bee habitats still for the solitaries to lay their eggs in over winter. Take down the rotten parts of the lean-to's roof and replace them with this straw fencing stuff to prepare that area for growing fungi.

Notes: Left an open jar of honey that got left in my cupboard out last week. Ants took most of it, I think, but the remains have had five bumblebees coming and going happily taking them away. Thinking about setting up some sort of sugar-water feeder for them. Bastarding Herb Robert everywhere. Aphids are a growing problem, where are all the ladybirds?

Had a look online, seems sugar water isn't good for bees. Never mind that then.

Morris dancers are weird. Some of the lasses look like they'd be utter filth in bed, though.

Having a bit of trouble with the roofing in >>427293 it's not rotten in places so I'm not able to take up the wood as easily. I managed to to maybe 1/4 of the thing, not sure how to proceed.

>>427308 .gs resident gardener-with fire here.
Problem shifting a wooden structure, huh?

I'm looking for a Kiwi gigolo.
My female Kiwi plant is flowering like a mad thing, and the male isn't bothering, the idle bastard. Nobody seems to offer a stud service, which is a shame. If he doesn't get his act together, I fear he's for the chop.

Also been putting fence posts in today. The petrol piledriver thing keeps boiling the fuel in the carb, so it runs just long enough to perch it on top of the post, then the fucker cuts out. V.frustrating.

>>427320
Do you have any suggestions for how to take the shitty, rotten in places mdf off the beams that are holding it up? I'm discovering it's not a very well-made structure. Exposed nails and freestanding structural supports all over the place.

>>427321
My first suggestion would involve a few litres of unleaded and a match.

However, for taking stuff apart, I rate:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Faithfull-NAILPULL-600mm-24-inch-Puller/dp/B001CKAR4Q
for getting nails out. The knockoff ones are shit.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B003CT4D1S
for generally wrecking shit

and then the usual selection of crowbars, pickaxes and angle grinders.

But fire's easier.

>>427326
The nails are somehow so deeply embedded in the mdf that I can't actually see them until I pull the MDF off around them.
I'm not going to burn it down that would be daft. Could try using the circular saw to speed things up but I'm leery of using that while stood on a stepladder.

What an absolutely shite Champions League final.

>>427328
Yeah, a bit boring, hardly edge of your seat stuff. Definitely felt like a match being played by teams who hadn't had a competitive match in weeks.

Watching Sarah Millican's most recent show, Control Enthusiast. I'm not sure if it's just the dress she's wearing, but she looks quite a bit thicker around the middle and it's really giving me the horn.

>>427336
I'm glad you land whale enthusiasts are having a good time with the obesity epidemic. I long for heroin chic days on the 90s.

>>427338

I would assume that stuff counts as a Class 3 dangerous good, (flammable liquid) and it was all kinds of illegal, and unsafe, for that to be in a hold undocumented and unnoticed.

I'm not sure how much, if any, of the responsibility of this would fall on you - this is something security should have picked up on, though I'm willing to bet if they'd found it out there'd be some law you'd broken, from smuggling to militant daft woggery depending on how you look at it.

Plenty of commercial airlines don't even have the proper licensing to carry dangerous goods, so that adds a whole new level to it, as the fine for carrying goods either unlicensed or incorrectly separated is, I think, up to 25% of the airlines annual turnover in penalties. Enough to cripple a small or struggling airline.

Your assumptions about the conditions of the hold are exactly why each dangerous good carries it's own classification and needs to be identified so it can be properly and safely stored. Yes, it's cold up there, and less air pressure, but if there was an animal in the hold, then it was both heated and pressurised. A lithium battery fire (or any fire from any other baggage or cargo) would be enough heat to allow your alcohol to act as an accelerant, too. I'm not sure but I could imagine a spark being enough to get pure-ish alcohol going even at -30C anyway.

While it's mostly likely you're right that your clothes would have absorbed the liquid if spilled, we've all seen how baggage is handled, jostled, and dropped - the container could have easily made its way to the edge of the bag and leaked into the non-absorbent hold floor.

I hate to be That Guy, especially on here, but this sort of thing is exactly what the aviation industry works hard to prevent - the sort of incident that is "very unlikely" but still possible - because if it's possible, it will bring a plane down. I'm not joking or being hyperbolic when I say that your decision absolutely, 100% had a realistic possibility of knocking the plane you were on out of the sky. You were right to worry, and I would advise that you don't do it again, otherwise I'll call the Hertz in Gran Canaria and tell them to stop letting you hire convertible Beetles.

You're probably reluctant to say now you know you might get done for it, but what type of plane were you on? If it was a larger plane like a 777 with ULD loading instead of open net holds, then at the very least the cans had fire suppression systems in them. A smaller 737 or A320 and you'd not have had such measures.

>>427342

Look m4t, it was massively stupid, and it will certainly not happen again. I've duly learned my lesson.

Let's just forget this whole thing.

>>427336>>427337
One of my female friends recently admitted that the reason she watches the likes of Sarah Millican and Amy Schumer is because they're unattractive so she doesn't feel threatened by them. She doesn't like any female comedians who are pretty.

>>427346
All will be forgiven if you tell us about the sauce.

>>427349
Well it's not going to be for their comedy, is it?

>>427349
Sarah Millican has a 10/10 voice which counts for a lot in my book.

I have Emmental slices which need using up. I'm planning on using them in a pie between the filling (veggie mince) and the pastry but I can't work out whether this is a good idea or not. It's either that or use them with mushrooms and breadcrumbs to make Glamorgan inspired sausages.

>>427351
Her shrill voice is like nails on a chalkboard.

>>427352

It'll probably be quite nice but I don't think it'll melt much, if at all.

>>427351

You need to work on your point scale there, lad.

Unless you've got a proper middle aged mumsy housewife fetish (in which case, never mind), then I'd hate to find out what you would consider a 5/10 or 1/10 voice.

On that note though - there are clips on youtube of Margaret Thatcher before she had voice training. In the mid-70s before she became PM. She had a proper unpleasant underlying tone in her voice, and it was only through intense voice coaching that she was able to adopt an arguably pleasant speaking voice to belie her cold black heart.

>>427352
>I have Emmental slices which need using up

Emmental and Maasdam are exactly the sort of cheeses I get just to have in my crispy bacon buttwiches.

>>427361
Posho.

>>427361

Maasdam was created by the Dutch cheese industry specifically as an answer to Swiss cheeses like Emmental.

Personally, I like Maasdam better, its flavour is slightly more tangy than Emmental.

>>427349

>One of my female friends recently admitted that the reason she watches the likes of Sarah Millican and Amy Schumer is because they're unattractive so she doesn't feel threatened by them. She doesn't like any female comedians who are pretty.

This kind of mindset seems utterly tragic to me, and is probably more common placed then I'd like to think about.

Imagine living your day to day life with that level of insecurity where you can't enjoy things because you are secretly competing with people and judging them on criteria they aren't aware of and doesn't matter.

If there is such a thing as toxic masculinity this is toxic femininity.

>>427374

Some women will tell you that they think it's all just because men judge women by their looks and therefore women are pretty much forced to maintain an attractive appearance. They will then also tell you, if you're really unlucky, that this, too, is a sign of toxic masculinity, and that women in that respect merely bear the consequences of it.

But in reality, I have my doubts. It just doesn't track. The desire to compete against other women just seems to be too hardwired in many women to be a more or less cognitive decision. And to then subsume it under toxic masculinity is an underhanded way of deflecting and refusing responsibility for your own actions.

>>427375
>>427374

It's the same thing. You can call it toxic femininity, but a fisherperson would prefer you to call it ingrained trout farming. The only difference is perspective- You can flip toxic masculinity around and call toxic mascilinity ingrained over-fishing if you're an MRA type. The actual logical process behind it remains identical. By that I mean they are, essentially, valid conclusions to make, in a sociological respect. But what people fail to realise is how their own bias (in this case, which genitals they happen to have) affects their judgement.

Everyone is prone to double standards, it just makes you look like more of a dick when you claim to be a warrior of equality and fairness.

>>427377

I don't think it is an internalised hatred of women or belief in the inferiority of women, or disapproving of a feminine trait and therefore the normal rhetoric isn't applicable. This person likes their feminine qualities they just want to be on top of the pile. The competitiveness is at a level where it over shadows everything else.

I was trying to think of if this is a quality that I've ever seen in men, and the closest I can think of from my only life is the way friends react to 'broody acoustic singer song writers'. Man fuck those insincere pricks

>>427378

Only = own, obviously.

>>427378

>>427378

>This person likes their feminine qualities they just want to be on top of the pile.

Men do this in a similar way, but of course by different means. In the end, it's all about attracting a suitable sexual mate, whether you're a man or a woman, and flashing your assets, physical or material, towards that end. Men buy expensive sporty cars or wear expensive suits or watches because financial wealth signalises personal success and therefore suitability as a mate. We want to be top of the pile as well.

>>427378

Yeah, but you're not looking at it like a fisherperson. Just take everything you said, and add "Because of the salmon stock." and you've pretty much got the fisherfolk counter argument for everything. You're arguing the competitiveness is an inherent feminine train, but the counterargument is that it's only a feminine trait because a male dominated society made it that way.

It's more or less the equivalent of when you were arguing with somebody as a kid and you went "INFINITY PLUS ONE!" which means you automatically one-upped anything they could possibly come up with. Everything boils down to the salmon population, ergo the angler's argument is correct.

>>427383

Yes it is an unfalsifiable hypothesis. This is why I try not to play into it. You could make about as valid argument for saying Jews control everything. If you are willing to label every bad thing as the result of crypto control there really cant be any proper discussion to be had.

>>427383

>arguing with somebody as a kid and you went "INFINITY PLUS ONE!" 

Our year 10 maths teacher once spent an entire hour explaining to us that infinity cannot be added to or subtracted from. I think he told us that it would lead infinity itself ad absurdum if you could, but it seemed like kind of a weak argument, a bit like saying don't cross your proton accelerator streams.

>>427382

I wasnt saying men don't what I was suggesting is they and the men who plot like her ate secret arseholes they are like Tetsuo in Akira if you turned the tables they wouldn't be nice people.

Maybe you would turn into Donald Trump if you were given his resources but I like to presume I wouldn't and I think there are a lot of people who would not. In fact I define myself and take pride in the things I could do but don't out of principle and believing it isn't a competition and I don't need to define my value by anyones standards or need the approval anyone other than myself is part of that.

>>427386

I never ate a secret arsehole.

>>427387
Haven't lived m8

>>427386

Have one of these mate -> ,

Actually, you could do with a few more. Take 'em, they're free.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

>>427389
Is that Chief Keef himself?

>>427389

I'd use them all, but first the site needs to work well enough on mobile that I can read and edit what I have written.

Bought some Golden Delicious apples tonight in Sainsbury's that really taste of nothing. Just very watery and flavourless. I don't remember where they came from, I bought them loose and not in one of those bags. They seem crisp enough that they didn't spend six months in storage or something. But the lack of flavour is really disappointing.

>>427510

Golden Delicious are just shite. Treat yourself to Jazz or Pink Lady. If you use the self checkout, you can scan them through as Braeburns.

>>427511

My favourite is Red Chief, but I only ever seem to see those here around late summer and autumn.

I heard yesterday that rain is forecast for the next ten days!

Howling wind and sideways precipitation down here today.

>>427513
Yep, fields of crops flattened here, and my poor freshly-sheared sheep are looking a bit sorry for themselves...
Still, less freaky than last year's BFTE and subsequent drought.

>>427517

You know, there's still things you can do with sheep on a rainy day.

>>427518
Have you smelled wet sheep? They're hardly erotic creatures on the best of days, but get them wet and they're grim.

>>427520

You have clearly given this much more thought than I have.

>>427513
Met Office are saying it's about to rain continuously for the next four days lads.

I'm calling it now, TEACON 4, have your rations on standby.

>>427524

How bad can it get.

>>427525
40mm of rain for almost everyone in the next three days.

>>427526 fuckety fuck. Still, finished putting up a fence today, and cut all the grass, so I'm as ready as I'm going to get. Plenty of TEACON rations already in place. Even bought a generator last week...

I hear thunder.

>>427528
Somewhere near notts/lincoln?

>>427529
Nope.

It just fucking pissed it down here.

It's started.

Down to my last two Club bars. I shalln't live to see Tuesday at this rate.

Oh, hang on, I looked out the window and there's barely a wisp of cloud about, I might to just pop the Spar.

>>427532

Get us a pack of baccy mate.

>>427530
It were bad about 1900ish. I just got back to Ossett today to be greeted by that.

Had a mini reunion with some old uni mates, I'm way past the point of drinking to excess and purposefulyl drinking too much, staying out as late as possible and then feeling like shit the next day as if it couldn't have been seen coming. That's okay though, because I appreciate not everybody is like me and would rather have one or two then call it a night and wake up fresh in the morning.

They spent the whole night trying to police how much I was drinking and kept saying how it wasn't enough. I woke up feel much fresher than the both of them to which they still ploughed on complaining about how little I drank.

I like hanging out with them but I can't stand people taht spend the night worrying that you're not drinking the same amount as them and drinking for the sake fo drinking was definitely a uni thing, sad because it puts me off hanging out in future.

>>427535

I hate reunions and make a point of not going to any. Went to my five-year school reunion and it was shit. After a quick meet and greet, all the same groups and cliques ended up sitting next to each other again like they did in school, and eyeing the other groups with a hint of the same subdued hostility as five years earlier in school.

I then didn't bother going to my ten-year reunion, but my older brother went to his, and he said it was just a dick waving contest where people incessantly bragged about their careers and incomes and the new houses and luxury cars they had just bought.

>>427536
I don't see the point in school reunions so soon after leaving. Someone tried organising a reunion for my year group but I believe only a handful of people turned up.

>>427537

At the five-year reunion, many people were still in the final stages of various kinds of university degrees or other professional training. And the rest had more or less just about found their feet in the job world. So nobody really believed yet that they had bragging rights. But apparently somewhere between five and ten years out of school, success corrupts your soul and turns you into a dick waving arsehole who will tell others at a reunion everything they never cared to know about your job, your house, or your car.

>>427537

I'm not sure there's much of a point at all for anyone younger than about 35 currently. We all know what all our classmates are doing as they've posted about it constantly on the internet for two decades.

As much as I'd like to talk at length about my wealth and success to the class bully, he surely already knows, and that's enough.

>>427539

I agree to some extent. You usually keep in touch with the people you care about, especially in our time of social networks, and the ones you don't care about, you probably don't really care to see again to begin with. I think it's really rare that you reconnect with somebody that you last talked to a decade and a half ago. At least through a school reunion.

And there are more important things than getting back at the class bully. He didn't care about you 15 or 20 years ago, so why should he care now that you've made something of yourself despite him sticking you in a wheelie bin every other week at school.

For Mother's Day my daughter's primary school made cards and fudge. For Father's Day they've only made cards. Strikes me as a bit of a double standard.

>>427594

Most primary school teachers strike me as that type of bitter 30-something birds on dating websites with profiles that say things like "I've been messed around too much before" and "need a man not a boy". Can't say I'm surprised.

I am very excited that the wheelbarrow in my garden is this close to overflowing with rain water. Can't wait.

>>427595
And are you the bloke version of that?

>>427596 It's finally stopped raining here, after a solidly wet week, had 5-6" since Monday. Standing water in the fields, soggy animals everywhere. Still, nice bit of sun this afternoon, just in time for shearing. Job done. Ready for the weekend's rain and shit now.
My alpacas have more testicles than I was led to believe. Not sure what to do, if anything. They seem happy enough.

My chin keeps spasming, I can feel the very end of it twitching. It's really annoying.

>>427599

With testicles, it is generally all or nothing. Unless you mean some of them have an extra one knocking around somehow.

Also, I'm not sure why but it's always made me a bit uneasy how casually we lop animal's bollocks off. If I had a pet dog I'd feel kind of bad having to get it done. Am I alone in this sense of ball empathy?

>>427606

I think it is a natural product of our softer modern life and projecting that onto everything else and therefore thinking of animals as our friends rather then a potentially dangerous part of nature we are trying to control.

If there were still a risk of randomly encountering a wild cow herds where half of them are bull that decided to try gouge you if you got near, or packs of wild dogs roamed the woods suddenly you would feel your sense of security was more important then their right to have a pair of balls.

>>427606

Two of them have the full set, when they were sold to me as castrated. You only really get to see at shearing time, unless you want to start a fight.

And yes, whipping balls off farm animals isn't a zero-thought action, but if you leave them on, often the animal's doomed, either because it doesn't taste good, or becomes unmanageable. If the boys would naturally leave the herd and live solo in the wilderness for a few years before coming back to start fights and get laid, that's difficult to offer in a farming environment, so off they come.

Dogs are different - I'm currently resisting pressure from the Mrs to get the dog done He's a lovely thing, and the only upside I can see is that he might, at some point in the future, find a lady dog irresistable. At the moment, he has no idea, just lives to play. Tempted to try the chemical castration route, as it's reversible, if it turns out not to be a good thing.

>>427609
>it doesn't taste good

Lopping off testicles affects the flavour of male meat?

>>427610 Yep. Rams are foul, apparently, especially around (or just after) shagging season. Boar taint is also a thing.

Also, nadless boys grow faster and run around less, so you get more. more tender, meat, from animals that are less likely to kick the crap out of you. From a farming perspective, testicles aren't a bonus.

>>427611

This is true pretty much for all livestock that are grown for food.

>>427612

One reason why male cats are neutered is that otherwise they just won't make good house pets. They mark their territory with piss so that after some time, your whole house will smell like a lion's den, and as outdoor cats, they often stay out and roam the area for days without coming home. They see you as a place to crash whenever they get tired of it, not as a home where they are part of the family. Also, neutering them reduces their tendency to get into fights with other cats.

>>427614

Funnily enough I don't feel sorry for cats having it done, because I dislike them to begin with. Devastating to wildlife in an area when humans bring cats in.

>>427609

It's telling that your Mrs has no sympathy really. I think that might have been what gave me this sense of discomfort in the first place- Several lasses I've known over the years have expressed what seems to be a perverse sense of excitement over getting a pet's nackers snipped. I'm fairly convinced one of them found it arousing and rodgered herself over it after the fact.

I bet the local furrylad feels strongly about this.

>>427615
>a perverse sense of excitement over getting a pet's nackers snipped

I have also noticed this.

>>427615
>Several lasses I've known over the years have expressed what seems to be a perverse sense of excitement over getting a pet's nackers snipped. I'm fairly convinced one of them found it arousing and rodgered herself over it after the fact.

I, in turn, find the idea of women secretly getting off on cutting off balls very arousing. It's like a hall of mirrors!

Watching The Last Leg on catch-up. How is Lorraine Kelly still so fit? She's 60 this year and absolutely peng.

>>427619
I watched it last night - it's a show I like very much. Agree with you though, she gives off that archetypal filthy-scottish-bird vibe; probably great fun on a night out and will definitely come home with you.

>>427619
She's spent the past 35 years or so earning a living by talking shite on breakfast TV. It's not exactly the kind of career that would cause you to age prematurely.

I'm still devastated Esther McVeigh isn't going to be prime minister. She's not quite fit, but she's fit enough to get me out of my early-morning funk when I instinctively check the news first thing.

>>427621

You do have to get up early though for that sort of work. I think the workday on a breakfast TV format starts at around 4-5 am. This should include the hosts, because in the end, they have to be on the ball just like everybody in the studio and will need time to prep the show.

It takes loads of discipline to do that for decades, and it should age you a bit prematurely.

>>427622
She isn't fit and she's fucking thick. Do not want.

Why is Ghostbuster's 2016 so weird? It's uncanny. I'm watching it on Film4 I keep forrowing my brow in confusion then punctiuating that by doing a little "exhale through my nose" laugh. Was it made by aliens? Aliens making films about ghosts? Even if that was true it wouldn't be the weirdest thing to happen this decade.

Saw a really big spider today too, it was on a trough in a field if you want to check it out for yoursevles.

>>427606
Not really.
Though I've heard about the opposite, some kind of horse bollock slashers that get off doing exactly what the title implies. See, >>427615 and >>427616 mention this too.

I've just had a tin of sausages and beans. I don't know whether the inclusion of the sausages makes up for the fact the beans taste a lot worse than usual, especially with the cost differential.

>>427632

My horse riding ex girlfriend once told me a tale about a lass at her riding club or stable or whatever it was. One of the older horses, poor lad had a cancerous tumour on his knob, and essentially the best thing the vets could do was whip off his entire tackle. This girl was visibly excited over it and said things like it'll be funny to see how confused he is afterwards, if he thinks he's been turned into a mare and so on.

All the other girls there just looked at her like she'd grown a third arm or something. So while they definitely exist, it's reassuring to know most normal birds think it's dead wierd too. I suppose it's much like any other bizarre fetish really.

>>427635
Some women love a bit of horse cock >>/news/17551.

>>427635

>This girl was visibly excited over it and said things like it'll be funny to see how confused he is afterwards, if he thinks he's been turned into a mare and so on. 

In all of the known Universe, something like that will only ever be said by a woman.

>>427633
I've always wondered about those - you've confirmed my suspiciousness. Will avoid.

>>427636
Some stories and threads seem a lot more recent that they really were, but I'm actually suprised that one's only from January. I guess the knowledge of pean beans has buried itself deep.

My girlfriend's mum has invited herself over for the week and they've decided to try Gentleman Jack. Is there full on lezzing in it? I don't think they realise, if there is.

>>427640

It appears so.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/26/gentleman-jack-lesbian-sex-scene-suranne-jones-bbc-hbo-viewers-twitter-9694897

>>427641
Bollocks to that. I'm not watching Suranne Jones licking minge with those two. I'm off to read in my room.

>>427642
> I'm off to readwank in my room.

>>427642
Never saw the appeal of her myself. She looks a bit like Anne Oldman to me.

Apparently Alexander the Great of Macedon had an older half-brother with learning difficulties. I got really sad reading about how he was exploited and eventually killed after Alexander's death.

THAT FRIDAY FEELING!

I toyed around with CSS (cascading style sheets) tonight during what is my first attempt in over ten years of coding a web site layout.

Fucking amazing how far CSS has come. I just made an animated drop-down menu that fades in and out. May not seem very significant, but to be able to do that with just a handful of CSS instructions is just mind blowing. About ten to fifteen years ago, all this would have required some serious JavaScript coding.

As I said, this is my first web site project in over ten years. I used to do some web design and programming on the side as a younglad, but that was in them old days when web technologies like Flash were all the rage.

>>427834
>them old days when web technologies like Flash were all the rage

They still are if your intention is to spread malware, don't discount it yet!

>>427835

But where do you still find Flash content online, except for some dodgy niche porn tube sites maybe that haven't updated their content management system in ten years.

>>427836
Never underestimate the power of porn.

>>427836

The major browsers block Flash applets by default, so it's a pretty mediocre way of distributing malware.

I have started drinking again. It's difficult being eskimoc.

>>427839

Have you thought about not being one then. It doesn't seem for you. Or are you afraid that The Great White Whale will get you?

>>427836

Flash is still the primary means of making hentai/furry fap games. And long may it reign.

>>427839
I can't tell if you're drinking because of your Inuit heritage or said heritage makes you feel uncomfortable about the drinking, but good luck to you either way.

I'm watching Back to the Future for the first time in years. I think this place might have ruined it for me.

>>427857
I really, really, love those films, but whenever they come up in conversation people seem to be lukewarm about them at best and it's usually because they're on ITV2 every fortnight, which you'd think would be impossible with it being a trilogy, but there we have it.

>>427857

Yeah, well done on that lad for deconstructing one of the best films of the 80s.

The original one; not the two sequels. Part two was alright, even if we ended up living in a very different 2015, but part three really made you feel kind of sad that they apparently set out to milk the franchise for every last penny. Even though part 3 was filmed back-to-back with part 2 and therefore probably shared a lot of the production cost, I think it was not a very noteworthy commercial success at the time. At least Robert Zemeckis has stood by his promise of not making a part four.

Well-known fun fact: in an early version of the part 1 script, the time machine was a common kitchen refrigerator. It was then thought that it would give children watching the film bad ideas and that they would then end up trapped inside their family fridge.

I, personally, would have loved to see a plutonium powered 1.21 giggawatt fridge. Once global warming is fully happening, it kind of seems like an oddly reasonable idea.

>>427857
I remember this post.

Fucking hell.

>>427871
Have another.

FEEL OLD YET?

>>427873
Just Googled to see if I could find the bum rag post because I remember that being some time ago. It appears on the search but it 404's.

>>427884
Try the archive, although it may only exist for /b/.

http://britfa.gs/b/arch/res/

Shout out to the .gs lad on a filming gig at the Women's World Cup!

>>427888

They're putting the little chef's hat on the wrong part of the leg!

I've had pasta kotha with my takeaway tonight. I don't think I'll be having Indian pasta again in a hurry.

>>427890
It just occured to me that I never ate at a Little Chef. Just one the many experiences the global recession took from my generation.

>>427893
I miss them.

>>427893
You haven't missed anything.

They had a burger with dill relish on. I distinctly remember the way the dill relish tasted but nothing else about it. It's been decades.

>>427895
Fuck off m8, their fry-ups were the only good thing about being driven down the M1 for God-knows-how-long with your parents. And the menus had pictures on them! I know it's gauche but I wish more places did that.

>>427895

Clearly you've never had a bender in a bun.

>>427841
I don't want to go to hell, mate...

>>427899
And yet here you are.

I was asked by one of my neighbours today if I wanted to join the new whatsapp group that he was trying to start of all the tenants in this block of flats.

Why the fuck does everybody these days feel the need to start their own whatsapp group everytime four people get together and have something in common, however remotely. There's barely 15 to 20 people living in the entire building. And I'm in about five different whatsapp groups already that exist for no real earthly reason except for the fact that somebody at some point thought it was a good idea.

>>427912

As someone that recently got locked out by the electronic lock to the front door of my flat, I say you should join it. Never know when it'll come in handy.

If it's cluttering up your screen, you can archive the chat and it won't reappear until someone sends a message to it.

>>427884

http://web.archive.org/web/20181205050032/britfa.gs/g/res/21800.html

>>427912
>Why the fuck does everybody these days feel the need to start their own whatsapp group everytime four people get together and have something in common, however remotely.
Because everyone's lonely and disconnected from their communities.

>>427922

I don't particularly enjoy having much to do with my neighbours on a good day. Can't say I'm really on bad terms with anybody, some of them are even really quite sufferable people. I just value my anonymity when I am at home, with nobody really paying attention to what I am doing. Not sure what good it will really do me to be in a whatsapp group with the other tenants.

And during all of the years since I moved out from my parents', never once did I lock myself out. So it's a chance that's worth taking to me.

Having half of my flat trashed due to heating system being re-done. Had to move my chair and my table from near the window.
It's been just a day and I already miss it. I'm kind of used to stare at the street when I'm idling.
>>427870
Jiggawatt m8. And it was a lovely film indeed.
Anyway, I'm somewhat tempted to re-watch The Bourne Identity, and then maybe the four other parts too.
Legacy was a tad sillier than it should have been, with all those pills shite.

>>427924
Fuck me it was 2014. Why the fuck do I remember these things and not anything useful?

>>427912

I got a letter through the door to join that Nextdoor site for our area. I joined mostly just to be forewarned if people started burgling sheds locally etc, but the posts are mostly middle aged women asking if anyone knows what sort of food they should feed their fussy dog.

>>427912
>>427941
I worry about local communities forming their own groups online. If you live in a rough area it's basically fuel for violence. Neighbours airing their grievances pseudo-publicly and forming into mobs.

>>427952

It just seems to be middle aged women wanting a chat, but I can see how someone posting "Bob at number 12 is a paedo" might become an issue quite quickly. But I think that's the price you pay for community. Back in the day you had to drown a few witches to get that sort of cohesion.

The Facebook group for Eastmoor is a right laugh.

I don't know if other sinkhole estates are the same, but it's mostly videos of spiceheads wandering about off their nut, car accidents and a sort of TripAdvisor-esque review system for the local dealers.

>>427966

>I can see how someone posting "Bob at number 12 is a paedo" might become an issue quite quickly

Just how it has always been though. Don't you remember your mam telling you not to go near certain houses? There has always been well established local folklore that certain people were paedos but I bet 90% of it was based on fuck all but gossip between bored housewives and curtain twitching old codgers.

The way Gordon Freeman swings his crowbar makes it look like he's just using his wrists. Can't be good for his joints.

I'm about to have my first pint of beer in over six weeks.

I actually haven't had any alcohol at all since about mid-May when I was at someone's birthday party.

What has happened to me. I've become so utterly boring since I hit middle age.

>>428166

I fucking hate this country's attitude to alcohol. There is absolutely nothing wrong or boring about not having had alcohol for weeks.

You know what's boring? Working all day for the man then spending your hard earned cash sat in a grimy pub paying over the odds for a pint which has no benefit whatsoever other than tasting nice, dehydrating you and making you feel shit the next day.

>>428173

No, there's nothing wrong with it, but I just wonder occasionally where my partying days have gone.

>>428173
I'm in no way .gs' resident party animal, but there is a bit more to even a simple trip to the pub than getting dehydrated and depressed.

Occasionally you can look at a woman too.

>>428184
Fair it was 7am and I'd just woken up so maybe a little OTT with the grumps, but it's just how people define being cool, social and interesting by how many pints you can ingest here.

There's much more to life and people who can'tdifferentiate alcohol from those things tend to wind me up.

>>428184

"Proper nights out" tend to take a really depressing turn if you're not drinking. You get to watch a bunch of nice, interesting people turn into moronic arseholes over the course of an evening. We're really bad at pacing ourselves in this country - we drink in rounds and don't like seeing empty glasses, so we tend to follow the pace of the fastest drinker, so most people end up drinking far more than they really wanted to.

Maybe it's just because I'm a recovering pisshead, but I think a lot of our pub culture is driven by functioning alcoholics trying to justify their addiction by dragging everyone else along with them.

>>428186

You're right.

There's the gaja, bit of MD now and again, ket is still going strong among the young 'uns it seems, everyone seems to take coke... Psychedellics are hard to come by but they blow a night drinking out of the water.

I'm being facetious of course but I feel like certain people have more of chip on their shoulder about drinking than they ought to. Sure when you're between the age of about 18-22 it's all anyone wants to do, but I find after that people calm down. I go months without a drink and don't even think about it, but neither do I feel the need to tell anyone "I've not had a drink in six weeks me!" as though it's some form of achievement. I haven't eaten broccoli in almost 15 years either, but it sounds ridiculous to boast about, and that's how I feel when people tell me how long they've gone without a drink.

I go out for a pint now and again as a social occasion, not to get pissed. That said, that's a nice side effect- The reason drinking is big in this country is as a social lubricant. Not much else has that effect when we come from quite a repressed society. Much like being a smoker is one of the fastest ways to make friends and learn who's who at a new job, being asked out to the pub is a universally relatable social environment within which even the most reclusive autists understand how to bond with people who would be otherwise near strangers.

Today I have been to Wentworth Castle Gardens, which re-opened to the public about three weeks ago. Someone has etched the anarchy A symbol into the castle. I think that's the most teenlad thing I've seen in quite some time.

>>428190
>Alright Gary? The rest of the office is out down the pub at five to drop a couple of tabs. Fancy coming down when you've finished filing those reports?

>>428189

>by dragging everyone else along with them.

This is definitely the worst part of British (and in my experience, eastern European) drinking culture. Sometimes I don't drink because I simply don't fancy it, but I know enough people with alcohol issues to find it genuinely quite horrific the way people will act when they realise you're on a night out but not drinking.

"Go on, have one! I bought you two, here you go! You have to drink them now!!"

"What's wrong with you? Have a pint mate!"

It's bad enough that despite being completely secure in my decisions and more than capable of defending them, it's just way, way fucking easier to drink a coke and pretend there's whisky in it. I've done this enough that many people think it's my drink of choice, when if I actually wanted to get some drinking done I'd go for straight spirits or wine.

I started doing it for work stuff when I realised I had the potential to be the boss who gets too drunk and ruins their managerial effectiveness, but it's worked well for me plenty of times.

Even "I'm driving" isn't enough of an excuse - they still think you're suspicious for not drinking the two pints you're 'allowed'.

>>428190

I've long held that I'd much prefer a good couple of lines of charlie than a pint to unwind after a long day. I long for a world where it's more socially acceptable, and more morally sourced.

Of course, I do suspect if cocaine was the legal one I'd be sat here complaining that coke culture is silly and why can't we all just have some moonshine instead.

I got this for 50p in a charity and gave up on it two thirds through because of the way she makes her own stupid problems and expects you to feel sorry for her. What was interesting to me though (same with A Piece of Cake) was learning that people genuinely enjoy alcohol.

Maybe it's because I first tried ecstasy a few months after the first time I got drunk but alcohol seems like an extremely shit drug to me. It's 80% incoordination-grogginess-nausea and 20% kind-of-pleasant.

Different people suit different drugs I suppose. It baffles me that some people dislike ecstasy but cannabis just gives me anxiety and does literally nothing pleasant at all.

>>428195

>Different people suit different drugs I suppose

Exactly this, it depends a lot on your psychological make up I'd expect.

I used to smoke loads of weed. My mates were all stoners and it was just so easy to get hold of large quantities of ridiculously potent strains, so I just sort of did. However, it never really agreed with me- I'd always be the one sat quietly in a corner worrying if anyone found it strange that I hadn't spoken in over an hour. It still had some positive effects, and I suppose that's why I stayed at it, but eventually I realised it's frankly not worth it. I'd get anxiety churning in my gut right before I lit a joint but for some reason just do it anyway.

On the other hand, when I have a drink, I loosen up and stop worrying. I'm not a moronic drunk, and I can handle it well enough not to get to that stage, but I definitely look forward to a drink and the chance to have a laugh with some mates more than I ever did to sit in one of our living rooms in a circle watching Family Guy. God it was fucking shit when I think about it.

It was taking acid that made me realise I don't like weed and should stop smoking it. I've read about it having similar effects for alcoholics. Acid is fucking excellent and everyone should take it at least once.

>>428196

I smoked skunk and the next day I smoked normal weed with my housemates. The skunk was obviously still in my system and sort of got reactivated. I suddenly thought my breath was bad and had an idea of the radius of my bad-breath-cloud. I thought as long as I didn't turn my head towards the girl next to me I would be fine. Then I had to turn my head away from her. Then I had to go and stand at the opposite side of the room. Then I had to go to my bedroom and was convinced my bad breath was seeping out under the door, along the hallway and into the kitchen and they could all still smell it. It was concerned it was going to cause me to suffocate to death in my room too.

>>428195

Here's the proper version of this instead of the just the audio.

I'm not saying I'm dead against the idea, but I don't think I'd do well as one of those "last of their kind" trope aliens who gets woken up long after the rest of my species is dead. They always seem to end up topping themselves or just crawling back into their space sarcophagus. I'm unsure if I have it in me to buck that trend.

Why does the BBC wank off over Glastonbury so much?

I had a piss after dinner and accidentally got hot sauce on my bell-end. It's not something I recall ever happening before. For the next 20-odd minutes, I had a throbbing, rock-hard erection. I'm not sure what to do with this information.

>>428204
Because it's one of the most massive music festivals in the world and has been a cornerstone of the British music scene for decades now. Unfortunately it's become gentrified, if that term can be properly applied to an event, beyond words and has struggled to adapt to a music scene that has more or less totally moved on from the rock music that Glastonbury built its brand upon.

Why'd you ask?

>>428204
Peak boomerism

>>428207
>Why'd you ask?

It just seems like complete overkill, seeing as the main acts they've shown on Saturday night are Janet Jackson and Liam Gallagher.

>>428208
Do the planet a favour and stop being such a meme-spouting twat.

>>428209
You can't really blame the BBC for that, and it's sort of what I meant when I addressed Glasonbury's "brand" at the end there. They were slow to realise that rock has all but died on it's arse, which is why a Gallagher brother is still popping up on their biggest stages in 2019, approximately 500 years since Oasis first released an album. Their smaller stages tend to have the better acts anyway. Getting back to the Beeb, it's sort of like if the FA Cup Final was Stoke City v Brighton, it's a crap match up but they can't change it and they've got the rights to show it so they want to bring in the numbers regardless.

>>428207

The market for festivals in general has gentrified hugely over the last few years, I think. I hate it honestly.

Used to be when I was a younglad, festivals were acknowledged by all involved that you were going to get munted in a field for four or five days straight. You were going to smell terrible, almost certainly get the shits out of desperately eating burger van food, you didn't take anything you weren't willing to lose/destroy/have stolen.

But it's a lifestyle thing now, it's one of those things people put on their Tinder profile along with rock climbing. People honestly think they can go to a festival like it's a family friendly weekend out in the lakes. They act surprised when there are drink and drugs present, and it ruins their fun when they end up camped next to a bunch of scary moshers who won't turn their screamy music down.

If I go to a festival now and I'm wandering about fucked off my tits on a three day deep bender off dried mushrooms and absinthe I had mixed into Asda Red Bull, I don't feel safe in the knowledge that the people I encounter will understand and support my decisions, and in turn know how to look after me. I'll probably fall into a group of middle class uni housemates and terrify them, and end up having a bad trip. These cunts have ruined festival. Festivals aren't for people like them. They're out of place, like a Marxist at the Tory party conference.

Boils my piss it does.