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>> No. 428949 Anonymous
19th July 2019
Friday 5:19 pm
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New weekend thread: Highland Toffee edition.

How goes it, lads? What are you up to this weekend?
104 posts omitted. Last 50 posts shown. Expand all images.
>> No. 429494 Anonymous
12th August 2019
Monday 8:46 am
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Just thirding that I enjoy that lads' posts and any mocking or exasperation is from a place of affection rather than annoyance.

Clearly canarylad doesn't give a shit what we think though, he's never been put off.
>> No. 429495 Anonymous
12th August 2019
Monday 11:14 am
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Huh, I had a similar dream once too, only it involved kicking someone in the face.
I clearly recall the thought that emerged right in the moment, 'Oh fuck me, what's your face made of, bricks?' as I woke up in split-second feeling pain.
>> No. 429499 Anonymous
12th August 2019
Monday 12:19 pm
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I can take a joke and I don't mind being teased about my love for the Canary Islands. One man's diamond is still just another man's lump of coal, after all. And I can also see why people would think that Large Canary Island is just about the most humdrum, unexciting place to go on a holiday. And it is, by and large, if you just stick to the ten-story, 3-star tourist ghetto hotels. But I've fallen in love with the abundance of exciting places there that exist outside the world of bargain bin package holidays where people spend their eight days on the island getting off their tits on all inclusive beer at the hotel pool. Large Canaria is known for offering that kind of holiday experience in bulk just like Majorca, if that's what you want, but the reputation it has gained from that is very undeserved, because there are a million different other ways you can spend your time there.

And it's no understatement to say that I am awestruck at the island's natural beauty off the beaten path everytime I visit. You've got volcanic mountain ranges with 2000-foot near-vertical cliff faces often within a 30-minute drive from the coast. There are gorgeous pine forests around the island's summit, landscapes in the southern polar dotted with cacti and other succulent plant species that look more like the American Southwest, and the desolate, wind battered west coast with its inaccessible rugged shorelines is also worth a visit, where the water is always so wild in places that you'd drown in minutes if you swam there. Not to mention the weathered road that curves around the mountains there and is one of the scariest driving experiences on the entire island, where you're often just inches away from dropping off into several hundred feet of nothingness below you. And finally, you've got Las Palmas, a spectacular city with Latin American flair and meticulously kept subtropical parks, a picturesque Spanish Colonial old town, and one of Europe's largest sea ports.

Also, the Canaries tend to be a little bit more expensive, meaning you can expect to spend around £100 to £130 more per person and week than you would in Magaluf, and your flight there takes nearly twice as long as going to Majorca. Which means that by and large, all things considered, the tourist clientele in the Canaries isn't as grotty and lads-holiday chavvy as in Magaluf. If you're skint and can just barely afford getting off your tits in the sun for a week, you're more likely to go to Magaluf than to Maspalomas, is what I am saying.
>> No. 429566 Anonymous
16th August 2019
Friday 7:13 pm
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Drinking alcoholic dandelion and burdock. It tastes like Covonia.
>> No. 429567 Anonymous
16th August 2019
Friday 11:05 pm
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I'm starting to think Grancanarilad is actually just a shill for Big Canaries.

He just can't stop telling up about all the exciting and undiscovered places off the beaten track he's in love with. He's less believable than a radio ad for Heinz soup.

I'm onto you pal. There's nothing I can't put Big in front of and see straight through the con.
>> No. 429574 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 10:17 am
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I am looking forward to two weeks off doing nothing.
>> No. 429578 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 12:44 pm
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>Big Canaries


Do you really think I've got nothing better to do besides advertising the Canary Islands on an image board to an audience of maybe, maybe not ten regular posters? Also, .gslad mainly likes to see his preconceived notions confirmed, so it'd be pearls before swine either way.
>> No. 429579 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 1:31 pm
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>Do you really think I've got nothing better to do besides advertising the Canary Islands on an image board to an audience of maybe, maybe not ten regular posters?
Er, yes? This is .gs, after all, so presumably it's that or have a wank.
>> No. 429580 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 1:47 pm
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Preconceived notions, lad.

Preconceived notions.
>> No. 429581 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 2:08 pm
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I can't work out if I'm boring or just organised.

I like having few clothes, but enough for every occasion, folded neatly and ironed should I need them.

I like my desktop table with my mac, Google Home, magic mouse and lamp and nothing else.

I like my carefully chosen houseplants and accompanying pots. My teapot, my freshly made bed and my very minimalist lifestyle where my greatest expense is slightly nicer food.

I like my consistently hoovered floor and everything where it should be.

Am I just growing up and organised or am I boring twat? Who knows, maybe both.
>> No. 429582 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 2:34 pm
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Doesn't folding clothes after ironing them just fold creases into them?
>> No. 429583 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 3:23 pm
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I'm wondering that as well.

I normally just hang my button shirts in the closet when they're washed and dry, and only iron them up just before I wear them.

Most of my shirts are non-iron / wrinkle free now though, which is a real time saver.
>> No. 429584 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 3:25 pm
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Definitely boring. I'm sorry, m9.
>> No. 429585 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 5:14 pm
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Boring, but happy with it? Then fine, can't see any problem with that.

I couldn't live like that, but I don't have to, so life is good.
>> No. 429586 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 6:59 pm
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You sound tidy is all. Don't let the Wakefield massive slag you off just because their homes look like System Shock meets Nothing but Trouble.
>> No. 429587 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 7:42 pm
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I mean, you do spend quite a lot of time advertising the island to us here either way, so I'd hope you're getting some sort of kickback.
>> No. 429588 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 8:01 pm
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Cheflad isn't advertising eating to us, is he? And Big Kitchen isn't paying him for it probably.
>> No. 429589 Anonymous
17th August 2019
Saturday 9:56 pm
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My brother-in-law has to be the biggest manchild I have ever met. I don't think I've encountered someone who couldn't function as an adult at this level without having learning difficulties. He's 25 and never worked and isn't on benefits because he was sanctioned almost every week for forgetting to sign on. I can't envisage him ever leaving his mum's because he is nigh on unemployable. He stayed over with his mum last night I'm mainly having a mini-rant because on several occasions he went to the toilet and left piss all over the seat and didn't switch the light off when he left. It isn't malicious. He just doesn't think because he acts like he's still 8. and he spent the evening not talking to anyone and watching YouTube videos on his phone. He doesn't wash his hair properly and he stinks of BO and bad breath. He also wears oversized formal shirts all the time, so he looks like a child who has borrowed his dad's work clothes. I just don't understand how someone can end up in such a state at that age, even if their mother is enabling it.
>> No. 429595 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 12:22 am
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How on earth is he married? Or is he the brother of your wife?
>> No. 429596 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 1:18 am
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As far as I'm aware he's only been in a relationship once, which was brief and when he was in college with a girl who also suffers from poor personal hygiene.
>> No. 429597 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 2:34 am
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> with a girl who also suffers from poor personal hygiene.

Imagine the smell in their bedroom right after they bonked.
>> No. 429604 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 12:39 pm
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How do you come back from that though?
>> No. 429605 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 1:02 pm
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Have a wash, buck your ideas up, do a BTEC in something useful. Practically speaking, it's not massively difficult to get yourself back on track - the hard bit is finding and maintaining the motivation to change. I suspect he has underlying mental health problems; unfortunately, the support available through the NHS is totally inadequate at the moment. Some local authorities and CCGs do have a "recovery college" programme, which can be useful for people in this sort of situation - it focuses on confidence, social skills and the basic habits necessary to function in society.

With that said, it's probably all for nought if his mother is constantly sabotaging any efforts he might be making to sort his life out, which is distressingly common. It's not particularly PC to say it, but a lot of divorced or unmarried mothers raise their kids in a deeply unhealthy codependent manner, because they're desperately afraid of being alone and don't want their children to become independent. Those parenting habits often develop after a traumatic divorce or abandonment and they're very difficult to break once they've been established.
>> No. 429606 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 1:47 pm
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>It's not particularly PC to say it, but a lot of divorced or unmarried mothers raise their kids in a deeply unhealthy codependent manner

I can definitely attest to this. It's almost impossible to talk about because "my mam was too nice to me" is not going to get much empathy from anyone.

I identify with a lot of what brother-in-law lad says, but unlike that chap, I've always been self aware enough to keep on top of it. My default state of being is zero housework, living in a hoarder-grade bedroom and not really looking after myself. I don't know if that's all just because I was raised by my mam, maybe I'm just a bit mental too and don't mind living in decay, but it's definitely partly because for the first eighteen or so years of my life, I could do whatever the fuck I wanted with zero consequences. It took me about a year of living with other people to clock that I had to clean up after myself and all of that, and I understand how infuriating that will sound to any normal person, but I literally didn't realise I was being a cunt until someone pointed it out. Even now I'd probably be happy to leave a sink full of dirty dishes for a month or so because I just never learned to care, but I do it because I'm lucky enough to be aware that I'm supposed to and empathetic enough to understand it bothers other people.

I've had to teach myself to clean, cook, manage money, have a relationship without feeling entitled to anything or owed anything, and I feel like I've successfully avoided ending up living with someone who's just a surrogate mother. Again, I understand how ridiculous this all sounds, that having a really nice mum can knack you up, but it's just what I've observed about myself.
>> No. 429607 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 2:02 pm
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>My default state of being is zero housework, living in a hoarder-grade bedroom and not really looking after myself.

I had parents that would have hours long screaming rants at me, and rarely hit me, for not tidying my room, but I still live like this unless I make a concerted effort not to.
>> No. 429608 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 2:05 pm
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I just went into [generic high street coffee chain] and asked for my drink of choice. I got my card out to pay and the guy behind the counter said 'don't pay. It's free.'

I asked him if he was sure and he said 'yes it's on us' and so I just left, and could hear other customers paying as I walked out.

Did he just spit in my drink or something? This has never happened to me before.
>> No. 429609 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 2:25 pm
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It's not niceness though, it's a failure to parent. You occasionally get stories in the tabloids about chavvy kids that start primary school still in nappies, or posh mums who are still breastfeeding their eight-year-old kids. We clearly see that as a kind of abuse, but we don't have the same attitude to parents that don't teach their teenage children the basic skills of independence. We think that it's OK to stick the boot into "manchildren", but nobody asks why they're still children, nobody is held accountable for their failure to finish the job of raising them.

A lot of mums don't want their kids to grow up, they don't teach their kids the skills they need to grow up, they actively sabotage any efforts their kids make to grow up of their own, because they don't have any identity other than "mother". They'd rather watch their children become miserable, lonely, unfulfilled adults than have to deal with the pain of being left behind. They need to be needed, otherwise what are they for? We don't see that kind of over-involved parenting as selfish and abusive, but we really should.
>> No. 429610 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 2:41 pm
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You just pulled, and you didn't even notice. Proper fuckin blew it lad.
>> No. 429611 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 3:20 pm
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I'm straight with a girlfriend and he must have been a good 15-20 years older, but let's say I was interested, how does this even work? He expects me to climb over the counter and kiss him?

A nice compliment regardless, I thought he made a shit drink or something so couldn't justify charging me.
>> No. 429612 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 3:37 pm
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Presumably invite him for a coffee in [competing high street coffee chain].
>> No. 429613 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 4:54 pm
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This happened to me in Pret when there was a line so I just assumed they do it to prioritise customer service. Few weeks later a girl posted on Facebook that she got free coffee at Starbucks because she was there all the time studying.

I suppose it makes sense in a way that individual coffee is almost all profit so they can give it away and reap benefits in return custom.
>> No. 429614 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 5:10 pm
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Burning some wood with a friend tonight.
Last year i saved a little iron filings from some grinding work, which proved a hit when scattering over the bonfire.
>> No. 429615 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 5:14 pm
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Didn't want to get accused of supporting Big Coffee, but this was Pret. There was no queue though, it was just me and somebody behind me on a fairly quiet Monday.

At risk of sounding a weirdo this was the first time I've ever actually bought a 'latte' and been in one of these places because I wanted to try it and never drink coffee etc, so I wasn't sure if I'd missed some sort of random giveaway hour.
>> No. 429616 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 5:31 pm
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Pret have an official policy of giving away freebies to nice people.

>> No. 429617 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 5:42 pm
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Don't do this to me, lad. My heart can't take it.

Can't be right, I'm a shithouse and I still get free coffee. I think that they HAVE to give free coffee out so your best bet is to work out when their shift-pattern ends and come in on the last day.

Still better than messing about with stamps
>> No. 429619 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 7:06 pm
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His dad left home when he was about three, so he was brought up by his mum and his two older sisters. He never stood a chance. Relations with his dad are strained; picture Derek Acorah Christmas cards.

Thinking about it, his other sister is nearly as lazy as he is. However, she's taken to popping out kids as a career choice. She has children by three different men and her current relationship, not the father of any of these, is with a man almost 25 years older than her who dotes on her. She's usually found on her sofa glued to her phone and ignoring her kids; she doesn't even cook them meals and will instead give them sausage rolls and crisps in front of the TV.

I'm almost certain he doesn't have any mental health issues. I've never seen anything to suggest he's depressed, even though a lot of his behaviours would tally up with this. He's simply a giant child who has never actually had to grow up.
>> No. 429624 Anonymous
18th August 2019
Sunday 11:26 pm
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I'm actually jonesing for some honey. It's not like sugar is it? You can't get fat from bee food. Although some bees are quite fat...
>> No. 429630 Anonymous
19th August 2019
Monday 9:42 am
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Honey has lots of sugar in it.
>> No. 429631 Anonymous
19th August 2019
Monday 9:50 am
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Fucking bees.
>> No. 429675 Anonymous
19th August 2019
Monday 8:37 pm
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I thought it had sucrose but not glucose.
>> No. 429676 Anonymous
19th August 2019
Monday 8:43 pm
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Typical honey is around 30% mono glucose, 40% mono fructose and 1% sucrose.
>> No. 429807 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 11:17 am
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My laptop's fan was making very loud noises despite the fact it wasn't doing anything, so I put my mouth over the intake and blew right into it, resulting in what amounted to a dust facial.
>> No. 429809 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 1:17 pm
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I'm at work, and went to subway for lunch. But it seems they've stopped doing the sandwich I liked, which was chicken and pepperoni with marinara sauce.

I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon listening to a Dan Carlin podcast and probably talk to a lot of worried doctors on the phone about MERS.
>> No. 429810 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 1:33 pm
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Can't you ask for specific toppings at Subway?
>> No. 429813 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 4:07 pm
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It's probably a sign of the bearings of the fan motor being worn down. You can try opening your laptop and maybe also the fan assembly, and putting a few drops of oil onto those bearings, but once they've worn, it's usually just a temporary fix.

Your best bet is to look on eBay if somebody is selling a laptop just like yours for scraps, and then install the fan from that laptop in yours. You might also be able to sell the other parts of that laptop again on eBay, so you'll come out even again without having had to pay a single quid for your fan.
>> No. 429815 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 4:32 pm
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I don't know, the sound's gone and this laptop never does anything more intensive than loading a YT video, and it lacks the faculties to play those in greater than 360p.
>> No. 429816 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 4:52 pm
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Sounds like it might have been just the dust buildup. A blast of canned air tends to sort that out without getting yourself a flaky bukkake.
>> No. 429820 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 8:05 pm
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Saw that there's wildfires in that large canary isle. Sending my hopes and prayers that our lad still has prickly pears to cone back to.
>> No. 429821 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 8:23 pm
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I too hope Bigdoglad is okay. This place would be pretty boring if it were just you and me.
>> No. 429823 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 10:17 pm
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Once the fan starts making noises, it will probably continue to do so, intermittently at first, and then more frequently.

Try a few drops of adequate oil/lubricant first though, before you resort to more drastic measures. And do NOT use WD-40, because it's just a temporary fix and tends to flush out whatever factory applied lubricant is still inside the bearing.

It's not quite common knowledge, but WD-40 is just about the worst thing you can do to noisy ball bearings.

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