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>> No. 26372 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 5:17 pm
26372 Crippling fear of the future
I've been having trouble sleeping the last few weeks. I'm constantly thinking about how the world is going to end. The whole Russia poisoning/international dick waving in response has caused me to be terrified of a nuclear conflict being in the new future.

And even if there's no nuclear war I'll probably die of cancer like most people do. And if I don't die young of cancer I'll get old enough to get dementia and be a shell of my former self. I'm struggling to sleep due to this fear of war/cancer/dementia. I'm struggling to do anything because of these fears, nothing takes my mind off them, I'm thinking about them 24/7.

How do people live without fear? I'm scared to go out in case I get mugged, and I don't like leaving the house empty in case I get burgled. I have to check my doors 10-20 times before I go to sleep every night in case they're open and intruders can get in. Every time I look out the window I visualise seeing a mushroom cloud and my looming death.

I don't know where I'm going with this I just needed somewhere to vent my fears, and maybe see if other people have fear like this.
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>> No. 26373 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 5:31 pm
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>>26372

>I'm struggling to do anything because of these fears, nothing takes my mind off them, I'm thinking about them 24/7.

Sounds like pretty bad anxiety to me. Have you talked to a doctor about this sort of stuff? Do you ever suffer panic attacks?

I'm worrying about being vaporised in a wave of nuclear fire too, so you're definitely not alone there, but it hasn't taken over my life as you describe.
>> No. 26374 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 5:37 pm
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>> No. 26375 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 6:06 pm
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>>26373
I used to get panic attacks a lot, but I'm quite heavily medicated now (antidepressants and antipsychotics) so I guess the physical symptoms of anxiety get me less. I had CBT for anxiety years ago and it seemed to work, but it's gotten really bad again recently I guess. But not really sure what else the doctor could do to treat it.

>>26374
Smoking did used to help with anxiety, but then I started getting more anxious smoking and fearing cancer coming for me so I quit. I wish I could have a fag but I know if I do I'll spend days panicking that I've got lung cancer whenever I cough.
>> No. 26376 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 6:12 pm
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>>26375

The effects of CBT can reduce over time for some people, so you might need a bit of a top-up treatment. I'd suggest speaking to your GP about getting a referral, but in the mean time you might want to try a computer-based CBT programme like Living Life to The Full.

http://www.llttf.com/
>> No. 26377 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 8:10 pm
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>>26376
I had more CBT not long ago through the specialist psychosis unit that I see, but didn't really seem to help.

I'm at the stage where I think the best solution to my problem is to kill myself. At least then my death would be on my own terms and I won't have to deal with the uncertainty of the future.
>> No. 26378 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 8:12 pm
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CBT sucks.*

*My own personal opinion that's entirely free to being functionally incorrect.
>> No. 26379 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 8:22 pm
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>>26377

Get yourself to A&E mate. Nobody wants to end up in a psychiatric inpatient unit, but sometimes it's the safest place to be.
>> No. 26380 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 8:37 pm
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>>26378

Nothing is guaranteed to work for absolutely everybody, but CBT is generally very effective, well regarded, and applicable to a surprisingly large amount of varied disorders.
>> No. 26381 Anonymous
26th March 2018
Monday 8:43 pm
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>>26380

I've realised much too late I just wanted some kind of upper. I don't know a thing about drugs, but just something to get me out of bed, not some slow burn anti-depressants and someone telling me "hey, just don't be sad".

Not OP so I'll stop dive bombing his thread. Soz, m8, don't kill yourself!
>> No. 26389 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 11:40 am
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>>26372
I think it's just a phase in life - I went through similar in my late twenties - it would literally keep me awake at night too.

I think weaning yourself off being a news junkie, if only for a few weeks does help. The world is definitely going to end one day, I used to panic about how the Sun would one day go out, felt very unfair to me. If there is a nuclear war, we'll know so little about it to care. One in three of us will get cancer, so there is that too.

Nobody just "cheers up" about these things at all, and I don't think you need therapy - to me, what you're describing is normal existential angst. Why are we here?

I found taking up astronomy helped me enormously. We are a tiny germ, a little speck of dust, on a spinning rock around the Sun, in this fucking enormous place that has been here millions of years. Over the course of many evenings staring at it all, I found great peace - it is almost like praying, you have to stay very still, look at the stars and realise we are absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.
>> No. 26391 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 11:54 am
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>>26390
>maybe see if other people have fear like this

I was just sharing.
>> No. 26392 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 1:06 pm
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I used to get these feelings that I was wasting my life doing a meaningless job and that one day I would cease to exist. It used to hit me as I was going to sleep some times and I would feel a sort of chill near the back of my neck, around the base of my skull. I suppose this is the physical feeling of dread and from time to time it pops back into my head.

I think it stopped being an issue when I started welcoming this physical sensation, sort of as if I have become desensitised to it.

>>26390
The flip side is that we are the most valuable part of it despite our insignificance.
>> No. 26393 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 1:10 pm
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>>26392
>The flip side is that we are the most valuable part of it despite our insignificance.

Exactly that. Once you grasp the enormity of the place we live in and how brief and fleeting life is, I found that I could enjoy it much more.
>> No. 26394 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 1:43 pm
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>>26392
>>26393

Perhaps you chaps are right, in which case I retract my insult. Still, thinking about that sort of thing sends me full into a full blown panic attack, so each to their own I guess.
>> No. 26395 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 1:52 pm
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>>26394
I apologise too, I wasn't trying to trigger you or the OP with that idea - just that feeling of having gone through exactly the same, that is how I dealt with it.
>> No. 26398 Anonymous
27th March 2018
Tuesday 11:43 pm
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>>26394

I agree, and also, I agree.

My response to this kind of existential panic largely depends on what kind of mood I'm in. If I've had a bad day, the overwhelming insignificance of my bad day sometimes makes my soul cry out for meaning, for something to just fucking matter, to just make it all worth it.

On a good day I try new hobbies like football or shagging gobby French birds, and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. (I have kicked fags though.)

I would definitely consider topping up your CBT or longer term psychotherapy.
>> No. 26442 Anonymous
30th March 2018
Friday 8:15 pm
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It's getting worse. I'm on the waiting list to see a psychologist but I don't know how much longer I can last. Especially with escalating tensions with Russia with the expulsion of foreign diplomats. I can't go on Facebook or turn on TV without more reminders of my upcoming death.

I feel like I'm on the verge of ending it, and there's no point going to A&E because they'll fob me off like last time I send me home because there aren't any beds for 200 miles because the trust is on black alert. Nothing can save me from my fears.
>> No. 26443 Anonymous
30th March 2018
Friday 9:27 pm
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>>26442
> there aren't any beds for 200 miles because the trust is on black alert

Just how long can a trust stay on black alert before doing a mushroom jump?
>> No. 26445 Anonymous
31st March 2018
Saturday 1:19 pm
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>>26398

>If I've had a bad day, the overwhelming insignificance of my bad day sometimes makes my soul cry out for meaning, for something to just fucking matter, to just make it all worth it.


It's human nature to want to assign meaning to whatever we do with our lives. Pointlessness can be depressing. But by and large, pretty much everything we do has no real point in an of itself other than the meaning we try to see in it.

If you really realise that life itself intrinsically has no point, that the universe cares fuck all what you do during your brief existence on Earth, then that kind of gives you a sense of peace. A sense that not everything must have meaning, and that it's ok when something you do in your life is pointless.

And if you then realise that the assigment of importance, relevance or significance to events in your life is for the most part entirely arbitrary (except for events where there is really no arguing that they are indeed of great significance to you), then you become free to see meaning and relevance for yourself and your life however you see fit.

Many people go through life unhappy because they fail to accomplish things, not because they think for themselves that those achievements would be significant and important, but because everybody else seems to think that they are. And oftentimes, you have people who have ticked off all the boxes of what would commonly be held to be cornerstones of a person's success in life, but they are the unhappiest people inside that you will ever meet.

In a nutshell: Don't become depressed by insignificance. What is significant and isn't is for you to decide, and nobody else. And oftentimes, the key to overcoming depression due to perceived insignificance is to reject the imperative of significance as a whole.

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