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>> No. 26402 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 12:42 pm
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My situation is that I have a good friend and I am worried we're growing tired of each other, having survived a previous friend circle that fell apart due to a streak of nastiness, egomania and other reasons.

I'm thinking of taking a break from interacting with him but this seems difficult with social media keeping everyone in constant contact, especially in group chats. I seem to keep getting annoyed at really benign things he said and I think the same with him. Neither of us really like how hard it is to read tone in online communication, but I seem to be falling into that hole. I know not to run away from problems and try to be as blunt and honest with this lad as possible, but I also don't want to seem like I'm emotionally invested and depending on him for validation when it's only a friendship, not a relationship. A particular problem for me is I seem to get very attached to people I'm around often, even if it's not attraction-based.

We've gotten each other through some hard times and share a lot of good interests, I just don't want any of it to sink into nothingness from interacting with each other too often.

Does anyone have similar experiences?
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>> No. 26403 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 12:59 pm
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You might want to consider taking a break from social media. When your phone is constantly pinging with Whatsapp and Facebook notifications, it's easy to get stuck on a treadmill of low-quality interaction. The social media companies want us to be connected 24/7, but most people just aren't interesting enough to demand our constant attention. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. Deleting your social media apps and going cold turkey for a week or two can give you a really useful perspective on how you use social media and what effect it's having on your relationships.
>> No. 26404 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 1:04 pm
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>>26403
>Familiarity breeds contempt and all that.

Very good point. OP I have certainly been in your position - why do you feel the need to be blunt or honest with him? I don't think you need to say anything, just quietly withdraw and make your own space. There is a huge difference and space in between living in each others pockets and "nothingness".

My advice is make your own space, do your own thing and don't be confrontational about it - if you have a friendship worth saving, it will cope with a bit of space - probably be better for it.
>> No. 26405 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 2:14 pm
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>>26404
>why do you feel the need to be blunt or honest with him?

To be exact I was struggling to iterate my point and some of what I had written during my first attempt had stayed in the post.
>> No. 26406 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 2:49 pm
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Don't be afraid to let people drift in and out of your life. I have mates who I don't see for months on end. I'm older than I once was, I'm less inclined to make it out to the pub or whatever, because frankly I know by now that I would rather stay in. Most of my mates have kids, and almost all of them now live a respectable drive/train journey away due to the plain old circumstances of life.

The people who really matter will stick in touch and they'll understand, because it happens to us all as we get older.

You can't cling to friends the same way as you'd cling to a relationship, that's healthy for no one. I've only ever totally burnt the bridge with one person in my life, a very close friend who I'd known since junior school, for pretty much that reason. He'd legitimately get jealous of me going places and doing things with other people, and it was a nuisance. When someone gets that far up your arse and you're NOT fucking, that's when you need to step back and think about it.
>> No. 26416 Anonymous
28th March 2018
Wednesday 10:56 pm
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>>26406
>The people who really matter will stick in touch and they'll understand, because it happens to us all as we get older.

A hundred times this.
>> No. 26444 Anonymous
31st March 2018
Saturday 10:14 am
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>>26406

I read the other day that the people you surround yourself with are always a reflection of where you are at in your life at any given point. And then as your life changes, so does your circle of friends, and you drift apart because you have less and less in common.

I only have three people in my life that I have known for decades and that are still my friends and have been through the aeons. The rest have really come and gone. And that's ok. Everybody has a right to take on different directions in their lives whenever they see fit. But that does come at the price of you drifting away from people that you used to be friends with.

To try to stop that from happening, at least in its entirety, would kind of mean a life where everything would remain static and you as a person would never develop and move forward.

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