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Subject   (reply to 26574)
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>> No. 26574 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:09 am
26574 The shit lottery of life
Lads I feel really really hard done by and really fucked up in the head. I mean seriously, my mental health is really becoming affected. When i say becoming affected i suppose i should say more and more affected as time goes by.

Last year I met this girl who whilst very attractive i never gave her a second thought. Then one night i ended up paying a visit to her out of boredom and having nothing else to do. So it turned out that we had loads in common and we chatted away for the night ended up kissing etc and telling her i really fancied her. It turned out that she felt the same too and we were inseparable and lived together for six months of living together.

After the pair of us had just explained to each other that we both felt the same way circumstances beyond our control meant that we could no longer live together and we were to be apart. As if that wasnt bad enough we live close in proximity but if we want to be together we have to get a hotel room but these meetings are few and far between due to the cost. We sometimes meet in the street but its not enough.

Thats the basic background but what is really fucking my head up is the fact that there is not one minute of any single day where she is not on my mind. Most frustrating is at night time in bed. I just think of her constantly, it just goes round and around in my head. I thought it would get easier with time but its just gotten worse and worse. And when it does start to ease thats when we end up having another liaison and the cycle starts anew.

Im not a young man so i find it hard to deal with this heartache as ive never felt like this for anyone before. Im so in love with her its untrue. Also very soul destroying is the fact that she loves me too and its just utter bullshit circumstance that is causing the problem and the only solution is going to a while til it arrives.

How do i deal with these intense feelings and the issue of being separated from someone i love so much when we are so well suited and feel the same? Last time were at the hotel obviously i enjoyes the sex but by far the best thing really was laying watching tv and kissing and cuďling and breathing in the smell of her hair whilst stroking her back.

Jesus i know i must sound like such a soppy cunt and i wish i could switch these feelings off but with this girl i feel like i could very happily just spend all of my time with her and i together in a room enjoying each others company.

Is dont know what to expect in reply but i really needed to get this off of my chest as its really eating away at me. I just cant keep it out of my mind for a single moment and ive even had thoughts about ending it all if things dont eventually work out. I really do fear what i may do if it were to all go wrong and that it was final that no workable solution will ever reachable.
Expand all images.
>> No. 26575 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:13 am
26575 spacer
When I was a teenlad if I wanted a bit of privacy I'd go to the worst cinema around to watch a film that had been out ages at a middle of the day showing as there'd be a high chance my girlfriend and I would be the only ones in the room.

A lot of my jizz was dislodged inside the Hull Odeon.
>> No. 26576 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:25 am
26576 spacer
>>26575Privacy is not the issue. We are not teens we are in our thirties. We do stuff like go to the cinema but cant be with each other at our respective homes. Not yet anyway. Its the constant obsessive thoughts about our relationship and not having her in bed next to me that is killing me.>>26575
>> No. 26577 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 7:29 am
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Well, what are you going to do about it?

You've identified the issue, so how are you going to make things right?
>> No. 26578 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 10:43 am
26578 spacer

I know you're not meant to play internet detective here, but this sounds a lot like a poster who was saying he and the girl live in a hostel or something, and they're not allowed to date because she's bipolar, in which case the obvious thing is to get permanent housing. (Well, one obvious thing, the other being the default advice.)
>> No. 26579 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 10:46 am
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Maybe the feeling are so intense because there's something so compelling in the way. I mean that's the structure of most great literary romances.
>> No. 26580 Anonymous
2nd May 2018
Wednesday 1:57 pm
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I'm in the exact same situation, bizarrely. You aren't LARPing and are actually my wife pretending to be a man to get my attention because you know I post here, are you?

Regardless, I'd say claim you have a shift at work when you don't and meet me meet them up in town for a coffee and a chat and some toilet sex.
>> No. 26581 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 4:20 am
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I think that you may be missing the point. It's not a matter of not being allowed to date it's the thing with it all being down to pure circumstance that a really lovely relationship is slowly sinking. For no real reason. And we all know that lovely relationships are hard to come by.

I realised also that it's partly being selfish too, and that is because I am craving more attention than I can currently get from my partner. In a selfish way I was thinking is be happy to have a temporary relationship or an affair or what have you until all of the niggles are sorted out. In a similar vein it also severely frustrates me that if I were to decide that this relationship was no longer workable and I were to get with someone else, I would go running straight back to my current girl at the slightest chance. If that makes sense... and that situation isn't fair on anyone.

Mental health issues arent coming into it at all. It's a lot of things including the fact that we both have kids and other stuff going on.

There's going to be more heartbreak on the horizon too as she is off to do a short prison sentence pretty soon I'm sure. I know this sounds like a right mess but it isn't all as council estate as you may think. We both have degrees and good education. Funnily enough she is or was a solicitor herself but has breached a suspended sentence that she recently received for getting in a fight with a police woman.

And with regards to the feelings being so intense, I suppose that is one of my main issues. That I miss the intensity of being together so much that it feels like a huge gap has opened up in my life.

It's good to be able to get some input on the matter though so thanks.
>> No. 26582 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 10:06 am
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Missing the point as in that wasn't you? (I think that was the same lad who got himself sectioned on purpose to escape homelessness.) It must be a common situation if there are three of you in the same boat.
>> No. 26583 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 1:22 pm
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>Funnily enough she is or was a solicitor herself but has breached a suspended sentence that she recently received for getting in a fight with a police woman.

First rule of /emo/.


She was already on a suspended sentence, then she started a fight with a copper? She's going to ruin your fucking life mate. Get well rid.
>> No. 26584 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 2:26 pm
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> First rule of /emo/.

Dear sir, you are profoundly incorrect.

The first rule of /emo/ is "Check the catalogue [for tiresome threads about proplems with girls surprisingly similar to yours] before crreating a new one. Failure to do so may result in angry shouting."

This mental slags meme pushing is true, but we all love mental slags so let us go shag them ok? Just stop posting the same old posts over and over again (and I'm talking to you all collectively). It's always the same thing on /emo/ now.

1) Problem with ex
2) should I shag .......
3) University is hard
4) My job is boring

We know. We know. Anyone over the age of 30 knows. Go back and read the catalogue before posting another "should I ask out this girl at uni as a permavirgin I can't really tell if she likes me or not" - this question has been answered maybe 30+ times in the eight years on this board.

Oakey purpzyness was this over the cunt line? I'm trying to be good. I really on.

(A good day to you Sir!)
>> No. 26585 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 2:46 pm
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>I really on.

Start proof reading then.
>> No. 26586 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 3:00 pm
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>> No. 26587 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 3:46 pm
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I'm not sure if I should feel ashamed or proud for coining the injoke regarding the action to be taken in the event of an ecounter with an unstable loose women at this point.
>> No. 26588 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 4:09 pm
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It was a most astute observation, and cannot be overstated.
>> No. 26589 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 5:25 pm
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What, piss in her arse?
>> No. 26590 Anonymous
3rd May 2018
Thursday 8:56 pm
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Blast the floor with sink-piss in her arse.
>> No. 26591 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 2:02 am
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Look... To be fair I'm posting about a serious issue and the password taking is making me pretty upset and down even more. I know this is an image board but I consider it to be of a different class.

I don't know what the answer actually is but this whole situation is really getting me down. And whatever you may think or say,she is not a loose woman. Far from it.

I don't know what I should be doing but I really need to get past the nasty business of these obsessive thoughts about her whilst we are not together. I mean, I saw her last night and then when we parted ways I obsessed about her all night Even when I was with her in can recall looking at her and just seeing complete and utter perfection. It's just everything about her. When we met up last night I saw her from a distance and I knew that it was her before she even got close as she just looks so perfect. I particularly like the look of her legs. At least I've got something good to think about...
>> No. 26592 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 2:17 am
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>Even when I was with her in can recall looking at her and just seeing complete and utter perfection

You've got a funny idea of perfection mate, she did bird for punching a copper.
>> No. 26593 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 2:42 am
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Well that doesn't necessarily make her any less perfect in my eyes. She is still a lovely person and oh so incredibly beautiful to look at.and she also has the most amazing set of legs and arse I've ever seen.

What can I say other than I love her? That's what is ducking my head up. The fact that I can't get her our of my mind and the fact that I just want to be with her constantly. Even more messed up is the fact that she wants the same but we have these circumstances getting in the way.

Also when someone has genuine mental health problems whether they are a friend or a lover,you can't judge them. Even though she is bipolar, when she is in normal mode she is simply amazing. Even when she is going off her head she is still amazing!
We are straying from the main point here though. I need input on how to deal with separation and missing her. I can't deal with the thoughts going round and round in my head during all of my waking moments.
>> No. 26594 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 3:51 am
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>She is still a lovely person

Tell that to the copper she fought.
>> No. 26595 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 3:56 am
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You're too into her, simple as. If you can't stand to be away from someone for weeks, or months, or days, without going mental or pining all day, that's not a beautiful expression of love, it's a problem. At best it's needlessly clingy and sets you up for heartbreak (you're sad even though you're still seeing her, what happens if you break up?) and at worst it's a proper, actual mental problem.

Take a step back and realise that no matter how you feel, she's a normal human person, and you should be perfectly capable of going a little while without having to see/fuck her every single day. You need to get a handle on it because being this intense is only going to push her away eventually. You're going to want to tell me I don't understand, or that this is different, but it's not, trust me.
>> No. 26596 Anonymous
4th May 2018
Friday 4:27 am
26596 spacer
> from someone for weeks, or months, or days,

Days you pine a bit, weeks you start to really pine, months you either move on or die of heart/gutsache.
>> No. 26607 Anonymous
8th May 2018
Tuesday 10:33 pm
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Christ alive it only took about 8 posts for someone to speak some fucking sense here. OP, you're in your thirties and acting like an insecure teenager who's never had a relationship before. This should be enough to provoke some serious thought about why you are feeling like this and where this obsessiveness and tendency to pin your fucking existence on a bird (or the object of romantic fixation of any gender) comes from in the first place.

People don't fix your life - or by extension, you - mate. Ever. By all accounts they do exactly the bloody opposite and by rights you should have done your growing up and sorted yourself out first before even embarking on entangling your existence with theirs. There is no such thing as a great whirlwind romance that ends with a usefully undefined 'happily ever after' and suddenly validates you as a human being. That's not how adult relationships work, sorry. If that's all you can see from this situation, because your feelings are determining your sense of self and hope and future so strongly I would really suggest sitting the fuck down with a therapist while this woman goes and does time for assault. (And hopefully she sorts herself out too.)
>> No. 26608 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 6:23 am
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> this woman goes and does time for assault

Prisons are so full these days they'll only hand out custodial sentences for GBH or serious ABH. Common assault will get you a fine, or community service.
>> No. 26609 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 12:15 pm
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Maybe I've missed something but unless OP goes into detail about the 'circumstances' that keep them apart which he is currently being evasive about, I'm unsure how exactly we are supposed to help solve his problem.
>> No. 26611 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 1:05 pm
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As I understand it, and my interpretation is quite possibly wrong, they are both in different yet similar shared housing situations with curfews; quite possibly homeless hostels or halfway houses. I can't think of another situation where any of this applies (although I have just woken up and am therefore a bit lacking in the old imagination department).

They're obviously not ankle tagged or they'd never be able to sneak out from one place to another and spend nights together or shag in car parks.

It's either that or op is 12 and a Montegue and his bird is one of them minging Capulets.
>> No. 26612 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 2:50 pm
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I loved the bit when Juliet decked a policewoman.
>> No. 26614 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 2:55 pm
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>> No. 26616 Anonymous
9th May 2018
Wednesday 8:57 pm
26616 spacer

Nice work sherlocklad. I was fairly close in my surmise, then.
>> No. 26665 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 11:23 am
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The circumstances are pretty much irrelevant, really. I just can't work out how to deal with constantly thinking about someone and "missing" them when we were always constantly together. And happily together at that.

Regarding circumstances, it isn't even the housing situation. Living in this type of environment causes some issues to be problematic where they would not if you were living in a normal housing situation. For me personally, I could go and get a private rented place tomorrow if I wanted to, but I am holding out for a housing association place.

I suppose that I could do with trying to fill my time and try and occupy my mind with other stuff but I am constantly faced with reminders about what or who is missing from my life. I get asked constantly, every bloody day, even this morning in fact, "how is X doing these days?".

It's bloody depressing. The only thing that I have to look forward to is this weekend in a hotel together, then that's it all done with again for another couple of weeks.
>> No. 26667 Anonymous
15th May 2018
Tuesday 11:43 am
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As has been said, you need to deal with the fact that you're apparently so besotted with this woman that you can't think straight. That, despite what Disney has told you, is not in any way good or healthy. You need to be working on reducing the amount of brainpower you spend on thinking about her, rather than working out how to deal with her being constantly on your mind. Again, that's not useful or healthy and will ultimately destroy your relationship with her.

You're still seeing her. You're still in contact with her, I assume? Do you not talk every day? My girlfriend has been working in the other end of the country for the last month, I haven't seen her at all, but we have a text conversation going and we'll ring each other every few days, and as far as I can tell, neither of us are going mad with the constant reminders of each other. I miss her, sure, but I'm still capable of functioning without her by my side for a while - and you should too.

Some people have long distance relationships, some are married to people in the navy and don't see each other for six months at a time. You need to realise that being this bent out of shape by only seeing your missus every week or two is not at all normal. Nobody can tell you how to deal with it because it's not a particularly reasonable thing to deal with.

You're still being coy about exactly why it is you can't see her, but I have to presume that eventually, you'll be able to live with her? Why the fuck don't you realise that this period of being apart (and you're not really apart, if you're seeing her every couple of weeks) will end? Perhaps the problem is your lack of patience over everything else.
>> No. 26681 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 4:50 am
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Right... I will explain the circumstances as best I can and as concisely as I can.

I came out of a ten year relationship and swore that I would never enter into another serious relationship again. I am in temporary accommodation and I met this girl and we often spoke but I never gave her a second thought at all. I mean I found her attractive but the thought never entered my mind of trying anything with her.

Then one night in was drinking with a couple that I know and they wanted me to leave. I still wanted to party so I went and knocked on this girls door. The only thing that was on my mind was that I wanted to try and get my end away. But then when I sat with her in her room and we got talking I realised that she was incredibly intelligent and found out that she was a qualified solicitor. Then as the conversation went on it became apparent that she knew a great deal of interesting stuff and that we had a lot in common and she had a wicked sense of humour. So I realised that she was worth more than just a shag.

I laid on the bed with her and told her that I really fancied her and she said that she really fancied me etc and we ended up kissing and cuddling etc. I did try to get in her pants but she wouldn't have it. This made me even more interested as I liked it that she wasn't a slag. So we slept together for that first night holding each other and all that and I just got this really intense feeling of attraction to her. I even said at the time that I felt uncomfortable with the level of intensity of the feelings.

So then we ended up becoming inseparable and I pretty much moved into her room and we started our relationship. I liked it too because she kept me on the straight and narrow and I wanted to behave myself for her. Then one night we came back to the hostel and the security gave me a letter that was meant for her and asked me to give it to her. The letter was to tell her that she was to move to the hostel just round the corner and that she had to go the next day.

This was a massive blow as I'm sure you can understand that to only have 24 hours notice doesn't give you any time to prepare really does it???

Anyway, she gave her key in and we moved her stuff to her new place and then she came back and stayed in my room for 3 or 4 days but then the time came that she had to go. I didn't have any photo identification so I was unable to get into her place as a visitor. We continued to see each other but this was meeting outside on the street. Being adults this wasn't practical at all as even though we could see each other we couldn't be together properly. And where she is a nice girl she won't get up to stuff out on the street and won't even drink on the street so it was all a strain.

I then got my identification sorted and and started seeing her at her place.everything was all good for a while. Then the blow came. I was at her hostel but I was signed in by a friend of mine that I was visiting at the time. He fucked off out and left me in his room on my own.I got pissed off and bored about him leaving me on my own so I thought that I might as well go down and pay her a visit. I went to her room and knocked but she was out so I went back to my friends room.

When I left the hostel the staff told me that I was now banned from the building for life as I'd gone down to the women only floor without being signed in by her... even though I was on her visitors list ffs. Bit harsh you must agree,no?
Since then we have had to meet up in hotels to continue our relationship. Due to the expense that this incurs we can only do this once or twice a month or so.

This is what is making it so painful. Her place is within spitting distance of mine and it's very frustrating to say the least.we still meet up but it's not the same especially when we were living together.

I just feel robbed to have met someone special that also feels the same and then have it ruined by this complete and utter bullshit. She has said that if either one of us gets a place then we will be together again. I would love nothing more than that to happen.

I really know that I love her as I've tried to go with other women but when I have it just feels completely empty with no feeling whatsoever. When I'm with her I really feel that intense feeling of love and it's great. But when I'm not with her I can't think of anything other than her and I obsess over her a great deal and it really fucking hurts.

It's very difficult to meet someone that you click with like that in the first place and to have it all taken away due to these petty issues is just a killer.

I just don't know how to deal with the pain of this separation. It's also not nice when I hear her telling me how much that it all upsets her too. I can't see a solution other than waiting to get rehoused so we can be back together again properly.

The only reason I have not really gone into the circumstances before is that my main issue was that I need to work out how to deal with this bloody pain and the constant cycle of thinking about her all the time and dealing with the pain of being apart.

We are meeting up today though and we are going to go out together.

Also her mad behaviour such as fighting with police etc is because she has been going off of her head due to all of this so she's been going a bit mad and drinking more than usual and being increasingly reclusive and locking herself away in her room for days at a time.

Nobody else compares to her since I've met her and I'd give anything for this to just work out but it's this interim period that is very hard. I never thought I'd let ever be this soppy about anyone but I'm just really bang in love with her. So much so that I can truly say that I've never felt like this about anyone. Yes I've been in love before but it's never been like this. It's the small simple things that I miss and crave for. Last time we were in the hotel the best thing about it was lying in bed and stroking her hair as we went to sleep it was amazing.

It's weird cause as I said I knew her for a while but never thought for a minute that I'd be interested in her.

What is my next move? I have not got a clue at all. I could wait for the council to house me which will still be a while or I could go private rented but I really do not want to do that.

>> No. 26682 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 6:30 am
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I appreciate you explaining things a little better. It's a bloody shame that you've been separated for an innocent enough mistake, but I will continue to say this : it isn't permanent. You're still together, you're both still alive, you both live in the same area.

My point is, it could be much worse - yet from the feelings you express here, you can barely cope. This isn't okay. It's too much. I'm in love, I get it, I've fallen hard for people, but this much separation anxiety is dangerous. Do you have access to a therapist? I'm not saying you're mental for liking a girl a lot, but this much anxiety around it isn't healthy at all, and some help working around that would be helpful.

You've said it yourself :

>I can't see a solution other than waiting to get rehoused so we can be back together again properly.

That is the solution, and for most people they may be a bit impatient about it (god knows I am) but they'd still be able to function in that period of separation, something you're clearly struggling with. I worry that if you two got split up or something happened to her, you'd lose your mind. That's not ideal for you.
>> No. 26683 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 7:00 am
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If you're not allowed to visit her hostel then why doesn't she go and visit you?
>> No. 26684 Anonymous
23rd May 2018
Wednesday 12:53 pm
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It was a mistake and you were banned unjustly so that decision needs to be overturned by someone higher up or at the request of someone with more clout than you. Maybe email a local councillor? because it's very serious that an adult has been banned from seeing his girlfriend. Maybe you could get unbanned on a probationary basis.
>> No. 26690 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 6:09 am
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My hostel allows no visitors whatsoever. She does manage to sneak in occasionally and where she used to live here with me the manageress allows her to come in. But due to an argument she had with one of the African security workers she doesn't like to try to get in at night any more due to her mental health issues making her very anxious about it. The daytime visits are all well and good but they are limited to around half an hour as the manageress can't be seen to be doing favours for one person and not another. She sends security up to us to ask her to leave.
>> No. 26691 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 12:43 pm
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ITT: a bloke falling in love with a seriously mentally ill girl living in a sheltered housing. I cannot imagine how this is ever going to end well.
>> No. 26692 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 1:00 pm
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Having a mental illness is different to being a 'crazy bird'.
>> No. 26693 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 1:35 pm
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I said "mentally ill girl", not "crazy bird".

However, the facts still stands. A mentally ill person will damage you and bring you down, he/she cannot help it. It is like dating a person with a very contagious illness: sooner or later you will get it, no matter how good a person he/she is. I am talking about my own experience.
>> No. 26694 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 1:40 pm
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Can you be trusted to talk about facts when you've attached a known hoax?
>> No. 26695 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 1:47 pm
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Can you be trusted about tying your own shoelaces when you cannot understand what an example is?
>> No. 26696 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 2:04 pm
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You keep posting shitty meme pictures though, so I'm pretty sure it was your fault that the relationship ended. People who like normie memes are doomed to die alone, that's a God damn fact.
>> No. 26698 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 4:08 pm
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If my experience on POF and Tinder has taught me anything, "normie memes" are the lifehack for getting into millennial girl's pants. One minute you're sending them doggos and the next minute they want to sit on your face.
>> No. 26699 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 7:51 pm
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I just searched "normie memes" and Google synonymised it with "harambe".
>> No. 26700 Anonymous
27th May 2018
Sunday 9:49 pm
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This made me laugh far more than it should.
>> No. 26732 Anonymous
1st June 2018
Friday 8:11 pm
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Wtf are you on about. It's not that clear cut at all.
>> No. 26816 Anonymous
10th June 2018
Sunday 10:09 am
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Mightbe getting rehoused soon!

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