|>>|| No. 26673
I am becoming crazy /emo, and I cannot get any help.
I had spent two weeks in the ICU after surgery and a lung infection. I immediately noticed a cognitive decline and memory problems, but the doctors either ignored me or told me to just wait it out. Now it has been almost two years, and it is just getting worse. Short term memory is completely fucked, sometimes I just walk into a room and flatly out forget what the fuck I was going to do. I cannot remember anything for the life of me, and often the memories are distorted. I cannot trust myself anymore, all my memories are unreliable. It's a nightmare, a fucking nightmare. I tried rereading books or movies that I used to enjoy, now they feel like nuclear rocket surgery.
I tried asking for help to the NHS, no goddamn way. The CT brain scan did not show any damage. I tried speaking with somebody from the healthy minds, but they claimed to be unable to treat such a problem so they discharged me. After 8 months of waiting I saw a psychiatrist, but it was useless. He told me that I am in way too good shape to be diagnosed with dementia. Then, he offered me some happy pills, what the fuck I am looking for help with my mental decline, not looking for some chemical recreation.
I have some memories that cannot possibly be happened to me or to any normal human. I went back to places that I proved myself to have visited years ago, and they look nothing like my memories say. I had people greeting me and calling me by name, but I cannot remember ever meeting them.
I do not know where to get some help. Do I need to strip naked and take a shit in a council office to get some psychiatric help? I do not want to end tied up in a bed and force fed medication until I become a drooling vegetable. I've seen it happen, that poor guy came back from the psych ward looking like a zombie.