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>> No. 26865 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 3:54 am
26865 Non-physical ultraviolence aka my disabled dad
When I was little my dad used to kick the crap out of me. About 20 years ago I started fighting back and about 15 years ago he finally realised that I simply wasn't ever going to be the kind of kid who could be sorted out by "a good hiding" and that, while I could be forced to do things through physical violence, it simply wasn't ever, ever, worth it.

I don't want to get too much into it but he's been paralysed for the last year or so and it's made no difference to our complicated relationship as a point of pride for both of us. If anything, these days he is more honest about simply not giving a fuck about my feelings and I am more honest about resenting it. There used to be tension and it's gone now, we can actually chat sometimes even if we are in open verbal warfare most of the rest of the time.

What with it being father's day weekend we were arguing yesterday about rows from years gone by. Things he wishes he'd done differently. Things I wish I'd done differently etc. And then he drops a nuclear bomb.... out of nowhere....

In addition to my sister and I, according to him at this moment, he had two other children by two women. One living just around the corner from our local area and the other living abroad, one boy and one girl. I couldn't get much more information out of him than this, whether it was actually true or not (and I guess it still could be) he was obviously using it as a stick with which to beat me. I was actually happy in a way which I think surprised him so he changed tactic from his initial "lololol your inheritance" to "of course I don't want you to know about them, they're my NORMAL kids".

To my shame, and I have no idea why this mattered, but I really really cared to make sure that I was still the eldest. Psychologically I like being the firstborn I guess, it's literally all I've got, aint achieved nothing since. Once this was established we took a break. I rang him back twenty minutes or so later, blagged my way past his live-in nurse, and the conversation resumed.

He was lying. He just made it up. Why? Fuck knows why. I will never know because I immediately told that motherfucker he had blown his very last chance and hung up the phone. "Ten minutes ago you had two sons, now you don't have any". I don't block my worst enemies, but I blocked my dad.

How is this acceptable? Why is this acceptable? My dad is basically a normal person. I'm the non-functioning one. Do normal people really mess with each other's heads to this degree? I mean fucking seriously. What the fuck? He's tapped me once or twice since my 13th birthday, once as recently as three or four years back, but I would rather have a proper old fashioned "belts and blood" style beating than this shit.

I don't really need any advice or anything. Fuck my dad.
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>> No. 26866 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 11:55 am
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He's done a right number on you hasn't he.

You should have just stopped talking to him years ago.
>> No. 26868 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 12:14 pm
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That man is many things, but not a normal person. Such level of gratuitous assholery could only be expected in junkies, chronic alcoholics or mentally ill people. Kudos for your self control, any other person would have killed him.
>> No. 26872 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 12:58 pm
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I'm sure there's many complicated reasons behind it, but, mate, why were you even still talking to him at all?

My dad was maybe half as fucked up as yours sounds, and walking away from him and never looking back was without question the best thing I've ever done for myself.

He is unequivocally NOT normal. Normal people do not get their kicks from torturing people, particularly not their own sons. He's a piece of shit and a deeply abnormal person. A traditional word for him might be 'evil'. Again, not normal in any way, and I'm sure anything that might be wrong with you can be traced directly to his treatment of you. I can't say it enough, he is absolutely not the normal one.

Walk away now, and let the old bastard sit and realise he can not longer torture you. You owe it to yourself.
>> No. 26878 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 3:11 pm
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As above, I'm not sure there is any other advice to give than to never contact him again. What a piece of shit.
>> No. 26881 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 9:34 pm
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Mate he's fucked up, I'm sorry you went through that.
>> No. 26882 Anonymous
17th June 2018
Sunday 11:52 pm
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OP here. I needed this. Thank-you lads.
>> No. 26883 Anonymous
18th June 2018
Monday 12:04 am
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My Dad dealt with me similarly. I took it up until I didn't and I beat him within an inch of his life. He kicked me out and then spent the next 10 years trying to build bridges only to self sabotage them, I can only assume out of spite, in ways I think he thought would hurt me psychologically because he was intimidated by me. He was, and is, a coward so I cut off contact and he cried down the phone to my Gran about it to try and get me to contact him again.

Yours sounds similar, lad. It's odd being the mature one in your relationship with your parents, but both of my parents are irredeemable children.
>> No. 26889 Anonymous
20th June 2018
Wednesday 3:25 am
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Just repeating what others have said, but holy christ your dad is a massive cunt, mate. And he is definitely not 'normal' in any sense of the word. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you've finally done what you needed to and cut the bastard out. You deserve better.
>> No. 26890 Anonymous
20th June 2018
Wednesday 6:09 pm
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How'd your Gran feel about it?
>> No. 26891 Anonymous
22nd June 2018
Friday 2:42 am
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I explained as simply as I could and she told me it was probably for the best not to contact him after I refreshed her memory about all the things he'd said he would do and didn't or changed his mind about last minute. She seemed to believe me when I told her I thought he did it deliberately.

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