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>> No. 27103 Anonymous
15th July 2018
Sunday 10:10 pm
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This is going to be a silly thread but I just want to get it down somewhere. I work very hard from day to day. I have a physically and emotionally demanding job, and I also put in time to gym (it requires a fairly high level of fitness), and I'm taking a correspondence course in the evenings/weekends.

Most of what I do, I do privately by choice. I chose my career, what to study, etc.. All my goals are set by myself, and I hold myself to a high standard in most things. I feel stupid even typing it out, but some days I come home, I'm wrecked, and I just want someone to cuddle and tell me I'm doing a good job. I'm so used to running off intrinsic motivation to do things, but I do often crave a recognition of my effort. I do occasionally get it in nice comments and so on, but consistent support and affection would be better.

I dont even know what I'm getting at, exactly. When I think of things that are missing, the first that springs to mind is that it has been a couple of years since my last relationship. But I'm not even sure these are the sort of things I could reasonably expect from a partner, especially when I wouldn't have much time to give back.

Reading back over this my only thought is to suck it up. Plenty of people do what I do without someone to pat them on the back at the end of the day. Yet knowing someone cares is important to your health. What am I really in need of?
Expand all images.
>> No. 27108 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 1:13 am
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Oh, Oedipus. You never learn.

You want a Mother figure in your life, who is also distant enough from your Mother that you wouldn't feel guilty about her wanking you off, hopefully.

Plenty of Milfs with empty nest syndrome to satisfy that itch, lad. If only Craigslist still had personals. Still, plenty of Escorts that are experienced in that kind of role play that, well enough breifed, would fit that perfectly and wouldn't cost you an arm and leg.
>> No. 27109 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 1:23 am
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>You want a Mother figure in your life, who is also distant enough from your Mother that you wouldn't feel guilty about her wanking you off

As much as I enjoyed this... how does that follow?
>> No. 27111 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:10 am
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Well, he wants mothered and complained of being lonely. Maybe an affectionate Aunt would be a happy compromise?
>> No. 27112 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 7:42 am
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Is wanting human contact and emotional support really wanting to be mothered? Am I really being trolled on /emo/?
>> No. 27113 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 7:44 am
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Tell us more about your relationship with your mother.
>> No. 27114 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 8:32 am
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Go to bed, otherlad, you're drunk.
>> No. 27115 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 9:18 am
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>>27108 is a bit crass, but he has a point. If you're looking for a relationship because you want someone to take care of your emotional needs, that relationship is in trouble from the start. You acknowledge yourself that you'd be expecting more from the relationship than you could give back, which isn't a healthy foundation for a relationship.

I'd suggest two ideas to chew over. Firstly, self-compassion. We often treat ourselves in ways that we would never treat other people. We demand too much of ourselves, we're too quick to criticise and loath to praise. It can be very useful to take a step back from your life and look at it like a good friend would. What are you beating yourself up about for no good reason? What parts of your life are out of balance? What basic needs are you neglecting? The answers are often shockingly obvious if you just change your perspective. If you can be a good friend to yourself, you'll be a better friend to other people.

Secondly, memento mori - remember that you must die. What would you do if you knew that you would die tomorrow? Next week? Next year? In five years time? Take a few minutes to really think about your answers. Maybe write them down. Being aware of your mortality is scary, but it's a useful kind of fear. It draws your attention to the things that really matter. Not what matters to your dad or your boss or your Year 9 English teacher, but what matters to you.
>> No. 27116 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 11:40 am
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Having the basis for that human contact be telling you what a good boy you are while she wanks you into a coma suggests that yes, indeed, you seek to be mothered.

It’s not a bad thing, if you can find the right woman. As said, it’s not usually a great foundation for a long term relationship though.
>> No. 27117 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 12:04 pm
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This is bullshit. You are letting your own fantasies run away with you.
>> No. 27118 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 12:24 pm
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I think these are issues better discussed with a therapist, OP, rather than the peanut gallery of /emo/.

Maybe you do want to be mothered as the others are saying, maybe you just want some human contact and what's wrong with that, maybe you want "someone to take care of your emotional needs" and again is that really something that shouldn't form part of a relationship? Talk it through with a professional.
>> No. 27121 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:07 pm
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I have no such urge to be reassured in that way, but sure. My fantasies are the problem here and not your unwillingness to accept you might want a mother figure in your life.
>> No. 27122 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:17 pm
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I'm not the OP. The OP didn't say anything about wanting to be mothered. You are the creepy bloke who has waded into an unrelated discussion to insist to not one but two other participants that you can read their minds and that they want to be mothered. OK mate.
>> No. 27124 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:32 pm
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Are you so far removed from your own self awareness that you don't know what motivates you? The OP is and as he has stated he wants emotional support and validation from a partner, describing how validation boosted him in the past he does want to be mothered. Some women thrive in relationships like that, because they enjoy looking after people, but most would find their partner needy under those circumstances.

The fact I exclusively date men and constantly field questions from female friends about their men gives me an insight into what motivates them, as I have spent my life managing those needs in relationships myself and hearing about them from friends. The term "mothered" does not imply an Oedipal urge, that's just jokes. Men wanting to be mothered isn't. It's incredibly common. It describes the nature of the relationship, one of support and understanding, reassurance and validation that is mostly one sided.

I know a few women who are in similar relationships with men, but they are very obviously dating a father figure archetype and one in particular that calls her man Daddy in bed and he fucking loves it, the perv.

I'm pretty confident the needs OP has fall under an urge to be mothered and there is nothing wrong with that. It's not weird or creepy, so can the histrionics.
>> No. 27125 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:36 pm
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Wanting to be mothered isn't creepy and I never said it was. What's creepy is telling other people that that's what they want and graphically describing a fantasy you have had when they are asking for advice on a support forum. It's downright unethical.
>> No. 27126 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:46 pm
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You puritan bastard. /emo/ has a proud and storied tradition of advising people to fuck their relatives, but me describing the urge to be mothered in Oedipal terms for jokes is the bridge too far? Naff off, Reverend.
>> No. 27127 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 2:54 pm
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The original auntie fucker wanted to fuck his aunt. This guy hasn't said anything about wanting to be mothered. It's about choice.

There is nothing inherently motherly about the support and affection which OP claims to desire. How can you have a relationship of any kind, between any people, without some measure of those things? Why bother with a relationship at all otherwise?
>> No. 27128 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 3:09 pm
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The original Auntie fucker told us his Aunt came onto him and he didn't know what to do, thought she was alright looking, etc. We convinced him she was up for it and it was probabaly fine.

The OP has described what most people would call needy, which has it wrapped up neat. Needing reassurance about your job or your life is something that is usually covered by having a healthy self-esteem. Looking for a relationship where the other person provides that support is a mothering relationship and that is what OP says he wants. I've been wth several guys who would get that support from their mother when I couldn't or wouldn't give it, so it rings true.

It's not a massive leap to suggest he wants a mother figure in his life based on what he has told us and my experience with men who want to mothered and you're the one chimping out here not him, so what exactly is your issue beside your oddly puritan views?

Do you want to tell us about your relationship with your Mother, Reverend?
>> No. 27129 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 7:32 pm
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This might be the worst /emo/ thread I've ever seen. Can we just not.
>> No. 27130 Anonymous
16th July 2018
Monday 8:26 pm
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The phrase "don't feed the trolls" springs to mind.

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