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>> No. 27685 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 9:20 pm
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I am trying to refer myself to nhs psychological services but I am scared of mentioning that I have had suicidal thoughts because I will get my driving license taken away and my car is my only connection to the outside world.
Expand all images.
>> No. 27686 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 10:11 pm
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>>27685

You won't get your driving license taken away for having suicidal thoughts any more than someone will come along to your house and take all your knives away, ban you from crossing the road or anything else.

You might want to talk to someone about such thoughts, though; I'd be worried if someone was that worried about something quite irrational.
>> No. 27687 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 10:49 pm
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I wouldn't worry about it. There's a big difference between suicidal thoughts and suicidal intent. Unless you tell them "I'm planning on crashing my car into a school playground next week", NHS staff have got far better things to do than grass you up to the DVLA. If they decide to notify the DVLA, they have to tell you first, because it's a breach of confidentiality.

If the DVLA are notified, they'll only revoke your license if they have reason to believe that your condition affects your ability to drive - having suicidal thoughts doesn't automatically disqualify you from driving. If they do revoke your license, you'll be eligible to get it back after three months of stable recovery; there is absolutely nothing stopping you from lying and saying that your suicidal thoughts have passed.

For what it's worth, I have spent over 20 years in treatment for serious mental health problems and the issue of my driving license has never been raised. That includes multiple trips to A&E and a couple of short stints in an inpatient unit. The closest anyone has ever come is pharmacists telling me "this medication can sometimes make you drowsy, so don't drive if you're feeling sleepy".

If you need more information, you can contact the Mind Legal Advice line on 0300 466 6463 (9am-6pm Mon-Fri). Also, good on you for seeking treatment.
>> No. 27688 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:22 pm
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>>27687
I did it.

I am still terrified.

taken me two years to contact anyone official
>> No. 27689 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:49 pm
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>>27688

Lad, what you did was good and the main thing is that you did it. Keep us posted.
>> No. 27690 Anonymous
4th November 2018
Sunday 11:57 pm
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Is it really that taboo to have suicidal thoughts? and normal to have a belief that the state will swoop in and lock you away for it?

Sometimes I’ve had as many as six suicidal thoughts before breakfast. I've been quite open with various therapists about this and I'll be lucky if someone pays enough attention to look into my case a few times a year.
>> No. 27691 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 12:59 am
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>>27690

> Is it really that taboo to have suicidal thoughts?

That depends if you've had a big diagnosis sticker stuck on you.

Being just A Guy who thinks about suicide is a lot different to someone with borderline and bi-poler personality disorders who is currently in a mixed bi-polar phase and keeps making jokes about killing themselves then bursting into tears over the punchline.
>> No. 27692 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 1:08 am
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>>27690
I am most scared of the Glasgow Bin Crash Guy from 2014, there's been a lot more focus on mental health risk when it comes to driving since then.

>>27689
I have posted about it a few times here. I will probably not go to any appointment I get, and it probably won't happen for six months, but I didn't even know you could refer yourself. It's easy when you can do it without speaking to your GP or anyone in real life.

I'm not really suicidal, but I have thought about it. I give myself a 10% annual chance.

I'm just lonely. I have nothing to live for. I don't want to die, I just want to not exist.
>> No. 27693 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 1:30 am
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>>27692

> I'm just lonely. I have nothing to live for. I don't want to die, I just want to not exist.

Hi, welcome to the club. There's tea and biscuits over there and you don't have to speak if you don't want to. - Morbidly Morose Bastards Anonymous
>> No. 27694 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 5:11 am
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>>27692

> I'm not really suicidal, but I have thought about it. I give myself a 10% annual chance.
>I'm just lonely. I have nothing to live for. I don't want to die, I just want to not exist.

I'm going to be utterly serious here for a minute. 99% of the "depressive phase" of my bi-polar cycle hasn't been what you'd think of as normal "depression". I'm not slitting my wrists or standing on bridges while Community Support Officers try to talk me down, or actively trying to jump in front of buses.

Rather, it's been stupid simple little things. Things like waking up at 7am and then staying in bed until 5 or 6pm because I have no motivation in any real direction at all.

I think often, mostly idly, other times quite obsessively about killing myself, but it's mostly a desire not to be here right now than a real desire to die.

If I could get myself a usb cable and plug a raspberri Pi into my brain and just poke around and try to find the "be happy" and "operate on the level of a normal human being" bits and flip them over I'd do it; instead I'm on (I think, I haven't counted in a while) 6 different medications; none of which seem to be helping.

This desire not to exist is what has largely formed my heavy and perhaps untreatable substance abuse problems: If I wake up after however many hours sleep and down another handful of pills with a few more cans I can probably go straight back down for another 12+ hours.

“The point is, everything, bad or good, boils back to the decade on the needle, and the years before that imbibing everything from cocaine to Romilar, pot to percs, LSD to liquid meth and a pharmacy in between: a lifetime spent altering the single niggling fact that to be alive means being conscious. More or less.”-- Jerry Stahl, Permanent Midnight

"A lifetime spent altering the single niggling fact that to be alive means being conscious. More or less."

That's me in a nutshell, there's no escaping it. I've used everything I could put my hands on to modulate my consciousness to the best of my own ability. I'm thirty five and I don't think I've really been a year sober, cumulatively, since I turned twenty two.

Sometimes I go whole months without a depressive episode, sometimes the depressive episodes can last for weeks.

Mostly I wish I could go back to my old life of sticking £200/g crystal meth into the veins between my toes and drinking a bottle of single malt scotch a night.

I apologise for the rambling. On reflection, this might be an indicator of a manic episode, I will note it in my "emotions diary".

Mods: If I've done a faux-pas, just delete my post, no need to ban me for a month again, eh?
>> No. 27695 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:10 am
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>>27692
> I'm just lonely. I have nothing to live for. I don't want to die, I just want to not exist.


That applies to almost everyone in UK, apart for those that are completely fucked up with superskunk or lithium. We live in a depressing, corrupt shithole of a country ruled by a caste of inbred psychopats, being depressed and suicidal is actually a sign of mental health.

I do not believe in psychology. The job of the psychologist is to teach you how to accept unacceptable living conditions, keeping you calm, docile and productive even if your life is total crap and you are praying for a quick death everyday.


If you can afford it, go private. There are some good therapists around, but they are expensive. Do not wait for the NHS, all that you can expect from them is an eight months waiting and a prescription for happy pills.
>> No. 27696 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 9:15 am
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>>27694

I am your opposite. I have been clean and sober since 2000. No mind altering substances.

I hated every single minute of it. I thought that lucidity would fix everything, I was wrong.
>> No. 27697 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 10:58 am
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>>27692

>I'm just lonely.

You can do something about that.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/peer-support/finding-peer-support/
>> No. 27699 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 12:42 pm
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OP here, the drugs stuff is not me.
>> No. 27700 Anonymous
5th November 2018
Monday 3:42 pm
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>>27699

>>27694 here. I thought I was replying to OP, nm.


>>27696
> I hated every single minute of it. I thought that lucidity would fix everything, I was wrong.

Lucidity just helps you see your problems, it doesn't give you the tools or insight to actually fix them.

>>27695
> I do not believe in psychology.

Does that include things like CBT?
>> No. 27704 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 11:05 am
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>>27695
> I do not believe in psychology. The job of the psychologist is to teach you how to accept unacceptable living conditions, keeping you calm, docile and productive even if your life is total crap and you are praying for a quick death everyday.

For a moment I wish to perform a thought experiment and ponder as to how to live in those conditions when you can't play the system but don't want to accept it either. You've given me something to bother with now, eh.
>> No. 27705 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 11:34 am
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>>27704

At this point in the conversation, I am obligated to mention R.D. Laing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._D._Laing
>> No. 27706 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 11:45 am
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>>27695
>The job of the psychologist is to teach you
Not quite, but close. The rest is confirmation bias. Their job is to help you help yourself, by using the tools at their disposal to coach you into being able to identify and manage destructive behaviour patterns and intrusive thoughts.

The only way they can successfully do this though is to help you understand yourself first. What motivates you, what triggers destructive behaviour and intrusive thoughts.

Psychology as a field is about training people to do what most people already do instinctively and that is know themself.
>> No. 27707 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 3:41 pm
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>>27706
> Psychology as a field is about training people to do what most people already do instinctively

So when I think of myself as being someone who is simply broken at a deep, fundamental, level I'm not actually that far off the mark?
>> No. 27708 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 4:19 pm
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>>27707

Nah, you've just got some bad habits.
>> No. 27709 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 4:25 pm
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>>27707
Probably an intrusive thought process that brings you to that point of realisation mate so no, psychology would help you understand that isn't necessarily true and how to fix yourself if there was an issue.

CBT isn't for everyone, but Mindfullness is.
>> No. 27710 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 5:13 pm
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>>27708
>>27709

My point is, if I need someone to get me to do something that "most people already do instinctively", something must be broken somewhere, otherwise I'd be doing it already - like "most people".
>> No. 27711 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 5:26 pm
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>>27710

Something in your environment made your brain a bit wonky, just like something in your environment could give you chlamydia or mangle your leg. It's just a medical symptom and should be treated as such. If you've got chlamydia you need antibiotics, if you've got a mangled leg you need orthopaedic surgery and if you've got a wonky brain you need medication and/or psychotherapy.
>> No. 27712 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 5:52 pm
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>>27711

You're probably right about my environment but doesn't bipolar disorder (for example) have something like 0.7 heritability?

It feels like that if you're fucked from the genetic stage then your developmental stage is going to suffer as a result, basically dealing a doubly shit hand right off the bat.

Anyway enough whinging. I apologise.
>> No. 27713 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 6:21 pm
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>>27711

Continuing your metaphor, psychology is like patching up somebody with knife wounds and then sending him back in the same place and with the same people that stabbed him before.


>>27704
You do not need to change all the system, you can just change that little bit that hurts you. For example, moving to a different country or changing job.
Otherwise, get stoned with benzo. I have seen some people that have been taking benzos for years, as long as they are stoned they will be happy in the most inhuman conditions.

>>27706
Been there, done that. I had psychotherapy, the therapist said that it was all my fault for being angry and for not being adjusted to the environment. Incidentally, she told the same to everyone else and advised to read the bible and pray. It was an interesting experience.
>> No. 27714 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 6:28 pm
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>>27713
>the therapist said that it was all my fault
No they didn't, you barmy sod. What you've done there is confused a psychologist, who is a medical professional, with a particularly zealous, probably Protestant, guidance counsellor.
>> No. 27715 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 6:34 pm
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>>27714

She was a card carrying psychologist and psychotherapist, working for the local equivalent of the NHS. I am quite sure she was not a Protestant, in the old country everyone in the medical field was a Roman catholic.
>> No. 27716 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 6:40 pm
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>>27712

In the old country they say: "if you really want to understand a man, get to know his father". Somebody who grew up in a house with a criminal, a crazy or an evil bastard will probably be as bad as his father. My father was a complete waste of space, and he was my only role model when growing up. I did not end up much better than him.
>> No. 27717 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 6:55 pm
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>>27716

What about their daughters? Do they just marry someone like that?
>> No. 27718 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:08 pm
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>>27717

Many think that every woman eventually turns out like her mother. I believe that.
>> No. 27719 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:10 pm
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>>27715
>the old country
You think that is remotely relateable to current, UK wide, standards of care?
>> No. 27720 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:14 pm
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In my experience, the NHS's response to suicidal ideation is very variable. I've had some great doctors/nurses who took me seriously, referred me to relevant services, actually made me feel like someone gave a shit.

Then I've had some who said my extreme depression is just because I'm a "miserable Yorkshireman", and had crisis team workers tell me that my suicidal thoughts can be abated by having a nice bath.

None of them took my driving license away if that helps at all.
>> No. 27721 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:15 pm
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>>27719

For what I heard from people in the UK, the standards are even worse. The only thing that you can expect from the NHS is a lifetime supply of lithium.
>> No. 27722 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:29 pm
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>>27721
That's not at all accurate. Mental Health services are under tremendoes strain in the UK, but adult psychology save lives. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that if I missed an appointment without giving the appropriate notice I would be discharged so I didn't miss any appointments. They bent over backwards to help me, for which I'll forever be grateful.

Also, psychologists don't prescribe medication. Psychiatrists do, and they are very much only concerned with the clinical side of psychology, the treatment of symptoms, etc. Psychology is the cure.
>> No. 27723 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 7:59 pm
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>>27722

> I was told, in no uncertain terms, that if I missed an appointment without giving the appropriate notice I would be discharged

> They bent over backwards to help me

Those two statements are entirely opposite to each other.

Mental health payments will miss appointments all the time for reasons ranging from the effects of medication, to staying in bed depressed and miserable, to flat-out self destructive cut off your nose to spite your faced-ness.

Basically they just wanted as many money saving reasons to kick you out of treatment as possible.

It's why I always recommend going private if at all possible for anything psychological or psychiatric. Private doctors don't tend to kick people who are paying them close to a thousand snaps a month out of therapy for missing a few appointments; in fact they'll do a home visit and charge you double for sticking a needle in you if need be.

That's what I call service.
>> No. 27724 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 8:19 pm
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>>27720

>had crisis team workers tell me that my suicidal thoughts can be abated by having a nice bath.

Welcome to the nice hot bath and a cup of tea club. The transformative power of hot liquid is a running joke amongst the chronically mentally ill. In fairness to the crisis team, they're barely trained and have ridiculous workloads.

>>27723

The problem is politicians, not healthcare professionals. IME the vast majority of people in the NHS are trying their best, but they just don't have the money to offer a reasonable level of care. The NHS as a whole is underfunded relative to the increases in demand. Mental health represents 23% of the overall burden of disease, but receives just 10% of the NHS budget.

It's still very much a postcode lottery; the quality of care you'll receive is directly proportional to the budget deficit of your local NHS trust. It's a shit situation, but it's the situation we're in.
>> No. 27725 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 9:28 pm
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>>27724

I'm definitely not slagging off the hardworking people at the NHS, but as my granny used to say "you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear", and you can't get decent medical care out of an underfunded system which seems to be set up more and more as a money making system for private government contractors (probably all departments are like this, but I only have insider and outsider experience with the NHS so I feel on better ground slagging off the way the "trusts" are run).
>> No. 27726 Anonymous
7th November 2018
Wednesday 9:31 pm
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>>27725
Yes, that 9% spent on third party providers really shows how much we're being taken for a ride.

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