|>>|| No. 27867
5 years is the outer limit of hormone induced infatuation affecting your decision making, as it wears off after between 3-5 years and it exists to stop men doing a runner after the baby is born. It's good to be aware of biological mechanisms when dealing with stuff like this, but I think you're probably clear of it's influence despite it sounding a lot like you aren't.
Instead, this seems like guilt becoming an obsession. You need to forgive yourself, regardless of whether she ever does or not, and move on.