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>> No. 27916 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 3:39 am
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So not a full on /emo/ one today but can't think of anywhere better. I'm a really socially strong and confident guy, I get on with pretty much everyone, UNLESS I have feelings for them in which case I come across as a stuttering sweaty mess.

How can I relax my self in such social situations?
Expand all images.
>> No. 27917 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 9:30 am
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>>27916

May not work for everyone, but I'll offer my take. For me, it's a combination of experience (knowing it's not the end of the world if it doesn't go well), and having other things to inform your sense of self-worth (finding reason to respect yourself even if it doesn't go well).

Some lads put this down to an "abundance mindset" or whatever stupid term they've come up with, but that's obviously a trap. That demands you devalue the people you're with by making sure you have a lot of other options, or convincing yourself you do. It will work, but it will be a pyrrhic victory.

What works better, I think, is trying to fully internalise that you're not any less of a person if you fuck up a date or fumble a bit.

There's probably a bit of your mind that's adding pressure, saying "I have to get this right or else I'm not really confident/a man/a worthy prospect etc." It's your job to quiet that voice down by giving real world examples of how, actually, you could live with and respect yourself even if the other person isn't interested.
>> No. 27918 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 9:51 am
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0kUSUye.jpg
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>> No. 27919 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 10:35 am
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That's normal innit. Just bitch up and learn to hide it. It's probably less obvious than you think anyway.
>> No. 27920 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 12:47 pm
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I think you're quite normal lad.

Breathing exercises.
>> No. 27924 Anonymous
19th January 2019
Saturday 1:52 pm
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Have a wank before you go out on the pull. If you've had a dry spell, get yourself down to 'spoons and shag some fat birds. It's stupid, but it works.
>> No. 27926 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 9:26 am
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>>27924
I don't see how it is possible to approach women by yourself in a pub without being chucked out for sexual harassment.
>> No. 27927 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 10:02 am
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>>27926

Oh dear.
>> No. 27928 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 11:10 am
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>>27927
Seriously though. You see some birds on a night out, you fancy chatting one of them up, you approach them, they look at you like you're a fucking weirdo for talking to them apropos of nothing.
>> No. 27929 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 11:31 am
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>>27928
That's because you're doing it wrong and come across poorly.
Not that I can pull it off either but I know other people can, so the fault's ours, not everyone else's.
>> No. 27930 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 11:49 am
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>>27928

Have you considered the possibility that you act like a fucking weirdo?
>> No. 27931 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 1:52 pm
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>>27928
That's because it is a weird thing to do; that is not really how you meet people. And generally, meeting people at random like that in a public place is very rare.
>> No. 27932 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 5:26 pm
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>>27931

Jesus, this thread is making me feel old.
>> No. 27933 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 5:32 pm
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>>27932

I'm with you. Though unless the rules changed in the last year or so, I'm pretty sure that's still how you meet women. Obviously it's quicker on tinder, but it's still entirely possible to talk to people in bars and dance with them in clubs.

Maybe now that gillete adverts out they've clamped down on it
>> No. 27934 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 6:00 pm
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>>27933

It's extraordinary how many shifts in social attitudes have occurred in my lifetime, just in relation to pubs and dating. When I was a kid, there were still loads of pubs where women weren't allowed in the main bar; it was still quite controversial for young women to go into a pub unaccompanied by a man. Then the wine bars came along and it was OK for women to go out drinking on their own. We even had these things called singles bars, where young women were actively encouraged to drink cocktails with racy names and get fingered in an alley.

I remember when matchmaking agencies and lonely hearts columns were the last resort for sad bastards, then the news reports about these hideous weirdos who were finding love on the internet, then the creeping normalisation of online dating. Now there's a generation who seem to believe that Tinder is normal and chatting people up in a pub is really weird.
>> No. 27935 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 6:22 pm
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>>27934

>Now there's a generation who seem to believe that Tinder is normal and chatting people up in a pub is really weird.

My sister is 19 and I've worked with people in their early twenties enough that I can confirm that young people do still indeed talk to people in pubs. Well, it's more like getting really drunk in a club and fingering each other in a corner, but there's still pub talk too.

Tinder makes meeting people easier but kids still want to go out and get pished. And pished people who aren't broken .gs posters tend to get chatty, even with people they don't know.
>> No. 27936 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 7:36 pm
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>>27931
>that is not really how you meet people

I beg to differ, I met loads of people last year just from bumming around different pubs and places. It's not that hard to strike up a conversation with random people, often I've found they're more than willing to talk to someone, maybe to make some real kind of connection.
>> No. 27938 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 10:47 pm
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>>27934
>I remember when matchmaking agencies and lonely hearts columns were the last resort for sad bastards, then the news reports about these hideous weirdos who were finding love on the internet, then the creeping normalisation of online dating. Now there's a generation who seem to believe that Tinder is normal and chatting people up in a pub is really weird.

I miss the days when internet dating was for strange people. There's dating sites where you have to be good looking now but where's the one where you need to have unusual hobbies and interests?

>>27935
>And pished people who aren't broken .gs posters tend to get chatty, even with people they don't know.

Honestly I think there's always been a subset of people who don't do well at that - I know I don't because I'm a bit shy. Instead the whole long-term dating thing as I see it should be achieved through friends as I think it always has. It's unlikely you'll meet a good partner at the disco at 4am and you're just as unlikely to find anything lasting sifting through the mess of OKCupid or tinder. Both of which still require mates to at least get some pictures on your profile.

So yeah, get good friends and you'll meet people either because of mutual friends or introductions. Either that or the lizardmen can starts assigning us partners seeing as how they know everything about us.
http://vimeo.com/274932890
>> No. 27939 Anonymous
20th January 2019
Sunday 10:50 pm
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>>27938
Hey Purps, the vimeo feature seems to be broken. I was trying to link to this video:
https://vimeo.com/274932890

Using the [/vim] tags but something went wrong.
>> No. 27993 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 10:03 pm
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>>27935

One quite disturbing trend that my cousin's daughter has brought to my attention, who is 19, almost 20, is that a lot of times now apparently, young people when they see somebody at a bar or in a club will first check if they can find that person's profile on Tinder. Apparently, this is something they do before even making any kind of effort of going over to them and initiating an actual conversation. And she told me that if a lad has no Tinder profile, then that will be a big negative for her. Because how is she ever going to find out if he's worth talking to.

So I said to her, "Well, if you are taken with that guy, you could just go over to him and talk to him to find out, you know". And that appeared to completely throw her off her game, and she said something like, "What? No, I mean... what?".

Our species is doomed.
>> No. 27994 Anonymous
24th January 2019
Thursday 11:37 pm
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>>27993

What? How? Set their match distance to five metres then swipe through the room? That sounds unlikely.
>> No. 27995 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 1:38 pm
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>>27994

What do I know. I don't use Tinder.
>> No. 27996 Anonymous
25th January 2019
Friday 4:25 pm
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>>27993
I've heard the same thing, only swap Tinder with Facebook.
Found it funny as well.

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