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>> No. 28221 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 10:37 pm
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I fucked it up in a couple of months. I was overly sensitive and revealed an ugly side to myself.

I really like her, but she requested space and I want to respect that.

J know it was a new relationship anyway but we connected in so many good ways. I feel like we could have built something lasting.

It's been a couple of days. I sent a message earlier just to ask if she'd be up to talking. No reply.

How do I stop myself feeling like shit about this? How do I prepare myself for the bad news she may not want to see me again? Should I just put it out of my mind? How?

I think I need to spend time with friends but everyone I get on with is away. Fucking shit.
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>> No. 28222 Anonymous
2nd March 2019
Saturday 10:53 pm
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>>28221
>she requested space and I want to respect that

Then the only way of even potentially getting it back is to do that; and to be realistic about it - if she hasn't replied, then you already know the answer. Harassing her isn't going to work and if she has asked for space, you need to wait for her to make the next (if any) move.
>> No. 28223 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 9:15 am
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>>28221
I know it feels shit now but it was only a couple of months. It's not like she is the only girl you'll ever have. You'll get over it. Go out and have some rebound sex to feel better.
>> No. 28224 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 9:41 am
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>How do I stop myself feeling like shit about this? How do I prepare myself for the bad news she may not want to see me again? Should I just put it out of my mind? How?

To be honest lad, regardless of what happens, you can always put a lot more effort into yourself. Times like this, when you're particularly worried about something external, are a sign that it's really time to do some self-care. Read a book, take a walk, go to the gym, etc. Your friends aren't here- that doesn't stop you going to the cinema or something.

A full schedule really helps and reduces rumination. Stepping back and seeing the bigger picture is always helpful.

>I fucked it up in a couple of months. I was overly sensitive and revealed an ugly side to myself.

I don't know the specifics but saying that you "fucked it up" says a lot about your approach to this, it could be that you need a bit more confidence and resolve. Additionally, texting her when she asked for space shows a little lack of awareness of boundaries, I'd refrain from that.
>> No. 28225 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 9:43 am
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>>28222

Correct. It was only the one message after a couple of days, and I'm not inclined to harass people. If it gets too much... I don't know. Straight to the gym, I guess.

>>28223

I sort of feel like it's all in my head at the moment. Attraction usually is. I don't want to sound like a showoff but my social life has picked up a lot in the last few months.

She was just the first after a long, long, long dry spell. Hard not to get emotionally caught up in it.
>> No. 28226 Anonymous
3rd March 2019
Sunday 6:05 pm
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>>28224

Totally right. Luckily I live a very busy life and have a packed week ahead.

I just need to find a way to feel "likeable", you know? I shouldn't let it affect my self esteem so much, but when you get really intimate with someone and they decide that don't want you... Not going to lie, it hurts.
>> No. 28227 Anonymous
5th March 2019
Tuesday 12:01 pm
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>>28226
> I just need to find a way to feel "likeable", you know?
That doesn't really work as expected. You'd better not.
I'm knackered beyond recognition to elaborate on it right now, maybe someone else would.
>> No. 28263 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 1:02 am
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>How do I stop myself feeling like shit about this? How do I prepare myself for the bad news she may not want to see me again? Should I just put it out of my mind? How?


By becoming a cold hearted cynic a bit more with every day that passes, and slowly dying inside in the process.

But to give a bit more hands-on advice, if she doesn't answer your messages, then you're kind of beating a dead horse. "Wanting space" is unfortunately the classic way of telling you that she is at least unsure how she feels about you at this juncture. Yes, she might come back around and realise what she has in you. But my gut feeling is that your odds aren't so good on this. And if you say

>J know it was a new relationship anyway but we connected in so many good ways. I feel like we could have built something lasting.

then I kind of read into that that she said things that gave you to understand that the relationship is now on ice. Somebody who really loves you probably won't do that.

Then again, I made a grave miscalculation once by completely ghosting somebody who, against the odds, was really starting to realise she wanted me back, after shooting me down in a quite humiliating way in front of my friends previously when I begged her to come back to me.

But again, my gut feeling on this, lad, is that your odds aren't good and that it's best to move on. If after a couple of days she still shows no signs of wanting you back, it's no use praying for a miracle.
>> No. 28268 Anonymous
27th March 2019
Wednesday 9:47 pm
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>>28263

Thanks friend. It's surreal after being so intimate with her, but she's more or less dropped me like a stone since my last post.

I have started talking to different girls, which may not be the healthiest way to get over it, but they are interesting in their own right. It's just nice to remember that there's more chances at happiness.
>> No. 28269 Anonymous
28th March 2019
Thursday 5:23 pm
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>>28268

>I have started talking to different girls, which may not be the healthiest way to get over it

I reckon that's a perfectly good way to get over someone, especially for a chap talking like you do. You'll learn soon enough that nobody's that special, really. Lots of women are lovely and you'll form bonds with them you'll never want to break, but at the end of the day, people are people, and there's no such thing as 'the one'.
>> No. 28313 Anonymous
5th April 2019
Friday 12:01 pm
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>>28269

Agreed. There really is only one way to sort out a broken heart in the long run, and that is to find somebody new that you will fall in love with. And the more time you will spend thinking about that new person that you have fallen in love with, the less time you will think about your ex. And that's generally a healthy way to be, as any therapist will tell you.


>at the end of the day, people are people, and there's no such thing as 'the one'.

Thinking can make it so though. I remember having a conversation with a friend a while ago on the issue, and we agreed that, bleak and unromantic as it may seem, there isn't "the one", not for anybody. There isn't that one person that you are destined to meet and must keep looking for even if you spend your whole life doing so. All that you can hope for is that there are a few people on this planet who are a very, very good match for you, and that you will run into one of them in your life. And from meeting that person, the illusion can then arise that you have met your soul mate, your missing half, of all the people in the world. But in reality, it's an illusion, amplified by you wanting to believe that that is the case.
>> No. 28321 Anonymous
8th April 2019
Monday 3:56 pm
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>>28313
I don't quite get why that's bleak.
Then again, I'm a lack-lustre sod so who am I to judge?

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