[ rss / options / help ]
post ]
[ b / iq / g / zoo ] [ e / news / lab ] [ v / nom / pol / eco / emo / 101 / shed ]
[ art / A / beat / boo / com / fat / job / lit / map / mph / poof / £$€¥ / spo / uhu / uni / x / y ] [ * | sfw | o ]

Return ]

Posting mode: Reply
Reply ]
Subject   (reply to 28825)
File  []
>> No. 28825 Anonymous
21st August 2019
Wednesday 7:19 pm
28825 spacer
Following my grandfathers death at the age of 81, I've been feeling remarkably low.

I am 'only' 27, however since his funeral I've been near-constantly considering my life. The inevitability of pain and death. I've been thinking how short it is really, and how I'm *twenty seven* years through it already. I feel like I'm old, like my life will pass me by in no time. This inevitability scares me, it depresses me, it makes me question how everybody on earth can seemingly just "get on with it" without lamenting these things. I don't know what to do, I feel fucking terrible. One day I will see people I love dearly die, or perhaps I'll die first. I can't enjoy my life any more. I feel sick to the stomach.

I wasn't particularly close to my grandfather, we were somewhat estranged. News of his death didn't immediately hit me. But I've felt like this following the funeral. I'm hoping the obvious cause of these feelings mean they have an expiry on them. This was the first relative of mine I've known to pass.
Expand all images.
>> No. 28829 Anonymous
22nd August 2019
Thursday 4:44 am
28829 spacer
What you described in your second paragraph is entirely normal for someone who has just been made to face their own mortality properly for the first time.

Everybody dies. We all know this, but until that moment we don't fully appreciate it. That feeling will linger, and it'll come back at other funerals, but rarely will it be as intense as that first time. In the short term, it'll probably pass before too long. As the saying goes, this too shall pass.
>> No. 28830 Anonymous
22nd August 2019
Thursday 6:44 pm
28830 spacer
I don't know what else to say other than that I've felt similar feelings but not as strongly after losing loved ones. You're a human being and grief is natural.

If he didn't mean anything to you, you wouldn't be hurting. I think there is some comfort to that. You were blessed to have that person in your life.

Stay strong, m8.
>> No. 28839 Anonymous
23rd August 2019
Friday 7:17 pm
28839 spacer
Thanks lads. Never felt worse though. Can't get out of bed. If I do, I start to get some strange de realization thing. This seems to hit me in waves. I want to drink my way out of this, but won't. Please, if any one has had anything similar. How did you fix this? I have this obsession with death. Me dying.
>> No. 28842 Anonymous
24th August 2019
Saturday 12:17 am
28842 spacer
My grandad died when I was six. He was pretty young, maybe in his early sixties. Smoked like a chimney though, upwards of 60 a day. Not a surprise in the end.

I don't remember feeling much at the time, I was probably too young to have really understood. However I think having such an early experience of death and mortality has left an impression on me. I had several other elderly relatives die before I was even a teenager. The realisation that humans are remarkably short lived, in the greater scheme of things, has been with me since I was very young.

If anything I've always felt slightly guilty that I don't experience what most people do when a relative passes away. I don't grieve like you are supposed to and I feel bad for being such a cold hearted psychopath. So if anything, OP, be glad that you have those feelings. They are there for a reason, and almost everyone goes through it. It fades with time and it's something everyone has to learn from to truly appreciate the time they are alive.
>> No. 28878 Anonymous
26th August 2019
Monday 4:11 pm
28878 spacer
> I feel like I'm old, like my life will pass me by in no time.
The thing is, time does indeed go faster as I age, even if it's just perception.

I've been there. My ma died a few years ago. I think as if it was just about two years ago; nope, almost four already.
I didn't fix it. Was too busy with the meatspace stuff that accompanies the funeral and the aftermath. Didn't get my chance to hide somewhere and let it all pass through and out.
I wish I did. Repressing it didn't work, it just manifested in erratic behaviour, me not being me of sorts. A bit hysterical and overly excited at times (not my traits at all).

Perhaps drinking it out is not such a bad idea as it might seem at first. I'm not sure.

I can only console you with the banality that it gets easier with time. Or as one undertaker put it, 'Think what how you'd feel in two years'. Even if such thought feels like a blasphemy now.

Years before about the only thing I'd loathe to think about is my mother dying. Then it happened and I weathered it quite better than I would have expected to.
Interesting enough, .gs were there for me too.

You'll weather this too. Do try to avoid my mistakes if they resonate with you.

Return ]

Delete Post []