|>>|| No. 28825
Following my grandfathers death at the age of 81, I've been feeling remarkably low.
I am 'only' 27, however since his funeral I've been near-constantly considering my life. The inevitability of pain and death. I've been thinking how short it is really, and how I'm *twenty seven* years through it already. I feel like I'm old, like my life will pass me by in no time. This inevitability scares me, it depresses me, it makes me question how everybody on earth can seemingly just "get on with it" without lamenting these things. I don't know what to do, I feel fucking terrible. One day I will see people I love dearly die, or perhaps I'll die first. I can't enjoy my life any more. I feel sick to the stomach.
I wasn't particularly close to my grandfather, we were somewhat estranged. News of his death didn't immediately hit me. But I've felt like this following the funeral. I'm hoping the obvious cause of these feelings mean they have an expiry on them. This was the first relative of mine I've known to pass.