Why is it always me calling my friends for a chat or to come and visit them? Why do they never contact me first? Fell like the relationship is quite one-sided and they don't value it.
Perhaps you're the leader - friends await your call.
Perhaps your friends have got better things to do.
Honestly, the reasons i neglect contact with my 'friends' are;
1. I have nothing interesting to say or share. I do literally nothing but eat, sleep and bum around.
2. Even if i have something interesting to share, they might not be so enthusiastic. Who really cares to hear how many foxes i chased around the beach last night.
3. It's possible i don't actually like them.
4. It's possible they don't actually like me.
The only times i think to contact the people i know are when i need support, feel lonely or need a skill they've developed. I purposefully don't contact them during these times because i'd rather be 'the guy who doesn't call' than 'the guy who only calls when he needs something'.
>Perhaps your friends have got better things to do.
In my experience that's about it.
I've had a similar experience and now decided that I should stop making the effort, since then things have really died down. Turns out I just thought that my friendships were closer than they are. I'm a sociable and friendly guy anyway, so I think most people just assume they don't need to reciprocate.
I'm, rather weirdly, on the look out for people to hang around with (see: an actual social life) at the ripe age of 30. Importantly, I need to ensure I don't set a precedent for this to happen again— that's done by me being less laidback and not keeping one-sided friendships going, as I have before.
Someone always says this, but get a sociable hobby. I think that blokes are just a bit crap at being friends, so we inevitably start to drift apart with age. That's massively magnified if you're not a big drinker, because it's just a bit odd for a few blokes in their thirties to meet up for coffee or go shopping or whatever it is that women do of a weekend. We need a reason to actually arse ourselves to go out and see people, whether that's a five-a-side team or a heavy metal band or a model railway club.
I used to be in a couple of bands, and I only really realised once they both packed in that it was really the only social life I had. I tried to get them out for drinks or whatever a few times afterwards and they usually can't even be arsed to make that effort. I go for the occasional pint with my work colleagues now and that's pretty much it; they're a good set of folks so it could be worse, but I think this is a pretty inevitable part of aging for blokes.
I had to drop one mate pretty much entirely because he'd always flake out and cancel, he tried getting me on a few online games but I wasn't really interested spending my time on his terms if he can't be arsed returning the favour. Doesn't feel good to do though.
I just do things with my other half instead. It's easier and as a bonus I get to fuck her afterwards as well. Hos before bros.